nicolainhelsinki

[nicolainhelsinki]

Elon Musk, language courses and questionable fashion from 2013 (21st of January 2025)

Dear reader, it's been days where I wanted to write something about my life in Finland, but not much is happening and sadly something is stealing my attention.

I won't lie. I'm overwhelmed with fear when I see Elon Musk doing what he did yesterday. I'm Italian, this brings out the darkest memories of my country and it's so scary seeing someone embracing it.

I wonder where the empathy of people like Musk is, when did something break in people like him? I saw a post of him proudly defending Tesla on X (not hard to respect other's name changing, right?) from some homophobic BS back in 2018 and now? Is it really all about money? I feel like at some point in his life, he found himself once having an unpopular opinion about LGBTQ+ folks, and then his phone sent him down an affirmation bias tunnel of similar information until he started simply hating. Basically, what could have happened with J.K. Rowling. When she said her first bitter words towards trans women, somebody should have said: "Sweetie, this opinion is kind of problematic. And I don't want to insult you by saying this, but I want to help you elaborate." And maybe now, she'd still be the inclusivity ally she was supposed to be once. And maybe Elon Musk himself would be kinda better. Do opinions really go hand-in-hand with money? And what is going to happen with LGBTQ+ rights all around the world?

I'm not able to give you data and political elaborations, consider this a vent. Carrie Bradshaw has at least once vented in her column, right? So I'll do the same on my very cool Tumblr blog.

Why do people need to hate, cut out, gatekeep, and make life harder for others? And... why can't people read, form their own opinions, and stop polluting the world with bitterness? I say this to the supporters of Musk, I say this to the HRs that leave me on read, the HRs that happen to be Musk supporters. And if you are an HR and you'll find this blog of mine: you've been digging too far, hire me and you won't regret it, I promise.

I wonder where we'll all move if Meta becomes a bit too much. Tumblr? Bsky? MySpace?

Also, just to turn into a bit of a lighter conversation, as we were on a podcast: I predict all the aesthetics related to 2013 to be back. We need "ObamacOre" apparently. We need Tumblr, we need Marina (& the Diamonds), the galaxy backgrounds I have already mentioned, Tumblr, fake hipster moustache painted on fingers, questionable fashion, Miley Cyrus with short hair and songs like "Hands in the Air," "Hunger Games," and... we can't go back in time, right? We also need series like "Parks and Recreation." We totally do.

As I was elaborating again my words, I received a message. Apparently, soon I'll start an advanced course of Finnish so I can have broader chances at finding a job! I couldn't be happier. It's relieving in some way. What's tricky about Finland is that I need to work, but I also need to learn Finnish to be able to work. Until then, I guess, it will be like my graduation meant nothing, my experiences meant nothing, and here it is, the inclusive but tricky Finnish world.

I am still grateful, in many contexts people migrating to Italy are left to themselves when it comes to learn, and sometimes they have to find themselves the courses and context to experiment inclusion and become active citizens. Maybe I'm too critical with myself, but I hope this doesn't come off as too generic, you know what I mean?

I've gotta go now. It's time for a snack! Take care and stay well covered, Nicola

[nicolainhelsinki]

Sacred new beginnings (6th of January 2025)

Ironic, how "sacred" and "scared" are anagrams of each other. I always imagine these hipster scenarios where new beginnings, when it comes to writing, happen in front of a cup of hot "macchiato something" at a very hipster bar, where sip after sip you feel like the world is in your hands. In this scenario it's eternally 2013, I have a long beard I didn't use to have back then, but as then, I'm on Tumblr.

I had plenty of blogs, mostly unknown, where what I used to post was little more than pictures of Marina & The Diamonds, Lana Del Rey and whatever was "aesthetic" at the time. And don't forget the background, it had to be either a galaxy, or nothing! Here with me in this moment, there isn't any macchiato something, since my second year without caffeine has just started, and all I have is a recently trimmed moustache. I'm in my bed and my partner is slowly starting to snore. I feel it coming. It's night and since I moved to Helsinki from Italy my sleeping routine has been all over the place. So here I am: awake until 3 AM every night. Sometimes I read to feel like I have accomplished something, sometimes I just stare into the void, noticing every little constant sound: from my snoring beloved, to the fridge having its perpetual little monologue. Sometimes I check Reddit, where I read one of those r/gaybros subreddit or r/Italy; there, open up about various topics. Some complain about their neighbors, some open up about some ex.

I imagined something more epic for this beginning. At the very least, I could have gone to the library, where the mandatory silence and the beauty of the building make you feel like you’re owning the world. But my beginning with this city, and this country, has been far from sacred.

It’s been full of love, of course, since I’ve been living with my sweet half after six months apart. My partner is Finnish and uses they/them pronouns. If you’re one of those people who complain about pronouns, this isn’t the place for you.

I don’t want to write my whole story on this blog, it’s okay for it to remain personal in some way, but I need my words and thoughts not to go to waste. I moved here on the 24th of September 2024, and although I could have approached these months the way I see other people do (come here, go there, fall in love with the city), all I’ve done is searching for a job. I came here for love, and I’m deeply proud of that, but I didn’t know about the recession! It’s been dramatic to notice that my knowledge and experience have little to no value here because I don’t speak the language.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some jobs. Short ones, but they happened. Still, I aim to live, not just survive.

This is usually the part I don’t want to vent about when I meet people, because I don’t want anyone to feel awkward about my discomfort. But I hope you, reader of this Tumblr blog, won’t feel the same.

If you’re reading this, send me some hope, or let me know if you’ve been through something similar. There’s a world to talk about, but this is enough for tonight.

I’ve got to go now. There’s a long night ahead to listen carefully to. Take care. Nicola