nicelywovenbasket - Tumblr blog

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Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

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'do you think you're superior for not using AI in your work' thank you for asking! yes i do

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haruki murakami (pinball 1973)

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haruki murakami (pinball 1973)

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i’m like the joker in the sense that i tell jokes sometimes

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Clarice Lispector, from "Too Much of Life Complete Chronicles," publ. in 2022

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Writing random shit because i dont know what to write. Im terrified about parzival and i cannot gt fucking started.btu itll be fine. Itll be good, hopefully. Ben isnt here today. And leon js got here and has already decreased my mood. Its good to know colten feels the same about it. I dont know why. But i just can’t fucking stand it. Its not lile. New. but it bothers me a lot m ore now. I dont know why once again. Like how jordan and i were talking about. I had a friend hierarchy and the top 2 slots were Leon, then Colten. Then it switched. Colten on top. Colten in the lead. I dunno. I think colten is a better friend than leon, which feels really fucked up, but when oyu think about it logically, its not. Leon is the worlds biggest hypocrite and also a cheater and also an attention seeker ESPECIALLY from men AND is a homie hopper. Eigh. it makes me feel gross. No confusion there. I hate it. But we r still freinds i guess!!! Eughhhh,. Colten is better. Bro is calm and collected but not really only in this one specific way that i cant put my finger on. And supportive. And kind. And not obnoxiously loud ALL THE FUCKING TIME . ….. …. I get headaches.. Eugh but not all the shit with leon and elliott. Ew ew ew ew ew ew . im not even gonna get into that cause ill break my fingers typing so hard. Ew. ive been talking with kaleb more. Not actual conversations but passing talk. Like small talk but make it smaller. Just in passing i guess. Jay said he was still in love with me. And he said it too, but not to me.

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i hope pizza knows i love him

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let alone tellbayone i cant let mtswlf be known as actually super fuckinf menrally ill nobody should see me

iwish i coulrbbenfucking normal and honest butnjownamninsipposed to tell my boyfriend im the closesr ive been to killimg myself ever and it gets closer every time

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iwish i coulrbbenfucking normal and honest butnjownamninsipposed to tell my boyfriend im the closesr ive been to killimg myself ever and it gets closer every time

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this is really hard

im really close to beinf really fucking stupid and the only reason i havent is because i dont have the energy to leave my bed to get my things

i wont do anything because i never do so i shouldn't but i really really could if I wanted to and i really really want to

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im really close to beinf really fucking stupid and the only reason i havent is because i dont have the energy to leave my bed to get my things

i wont do anything because i never do so i shouldn't but i really really could if I wanted to and i really really want to

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do you guys ever remember Oh yeah! I do in fact have actual mental illnesses that effect me!! ill be so fucking suicidal or soo like. ILL. for almost no reason. literally one tiny thing can set it off. and then i feel like a FFFREAK!!! cuz like. i shouldnt react and get upset or sad that way. or at least that fast.

and then i get reminded Oh yeah!! You have borderline personality disorder!!!!!!!!!!! fucking dumbass !!! thats why!!! theres a reason they fucking diagnosed you!!! cause its true!!!!

but it does really suck having bpd. its something ive only recently started Actually coming to terms with. when i first got diagnosed i was so focused on my parents outrage to even like. SOLIDIFY it in my head. i think thats funny. but yah no. lowk feel terrible right now. im just laying in bed and petting Pizza. i want a hug.

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BF APPRECIATION

i love my boyfrined SO MUCH you guys oh my god he is the light of my life dude holy crap

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do you ever just want to like fucking kys?? love!! im so tired i want someone to hold me. i desperately need to be fully emotionally vulnerable to somebody. and sit with somebody ad talk and cry and laugh and hug and do all those things. i wanna feel that little buzz of human connection that you get every once and a while. its yellow and orange and beautiful

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