neuro-gal-thoughts

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

I started a group chat with three of my coworkers (let's call them Kristen, Stephanie and Olive). We get along and hang out from time to time.

Last week, Kristen said all the conversations we had were deleted and she didn't know what happened. A few days later she started a new group chat.

At first, I didn't think too much about it. Last year, I had issues with a group chat with my two closest friends. We had to keep starting new group chats and we couldn't figure out why someone wasn't getting messages or why one of us would leave a group chat.

So you know, maybe Kristen is having some issues with her phone.

But then I noticed that there was a fifth person in the new group chat. It's a phone number not saved on my phone. That person hasn't let their presence be known.

I can only speculate but I think it's Kristen's boyfriend. The way she talks about him, he seems possessive and jealous so it's possible he had looked into her phone and saw our group chat and reacted negatively to it. Maybe the new group chat was created so that her boyfriend could monitor what we're talking about (and honestly, we just talk about plans for hang outs and make small jokes and give encouraging words to each other).

And IDK...Kristen went back to posting in our original group chat and left the one she created last week. I don't know what's going on but I hope Kristen is OK.

I wish guys wouldn't be so controlling and jealous of their girlfriends/wives. I'm someone who struggles with tolerating dysfunction in relationships where I'm not involved (thanks for that mom and dad), and I know not to nose into people's relationships. It can make things worse and the persons in the relationship need to come to their own realizations on their relationships.

But that makes it so hard to have to watch others - especially people I care about - struggle. ☹️ I just want to hang out with my friends. We just want to be supportive of each other and see each other succeed.

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

we are on borrowed time, choose people who choose you. most importantly people who give you their time and genuinely love you. let go and let everyone else be.

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

how to build confidence when you feel invisible ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧸

hi, i’m aria — new here but not new to feeling like i didn’t exist in a room ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･. if you’re tired of feeling invisible, this is your reminder that you don’t have to stay hidden forever 🫧

for a long time, i thought confidence was something other people were just born with. like some girls just walked into a room and were automatically seen. i wasn’t one of them. i waited for people to notice me, and hated how it felt when they didn’t.

but here’s the truth nobody tells you: confidence isn’t about being noticed — it’s about knowing you exist loudly, even if nobody claps for it.

step one: stop waiting to be chosen.

no one’s going to hand you a permission slip to shine. they’re too busy worrying about themselves. stop auditioning for roles in other people’s lives, this is your life. you’re already the main character.

step two: practice being unapologetically present.

sit up straighter

take up space (yes — legs uncrossed, head high)

make eye contact even if it feels scary at first

speak slower, calmer

you don’t have to be loud to be powerful. you just have to exist intentionally.

step three: romanticize your own existence.

confidence starts when no one’s watching. get ready like you’re meeting the love of your life (hint: it’s you). wear the outfit. play the playlist. light the candle. live like the girl you dream about becoming.

step four: build small wins daily.

confidence isn’t built in big dramatic moments. it’s built in the tiny "i did it anyway" choices:

finish that book

stick to your morning routine

say one thing in that group chat

these wins stack up. proof that you’re her.

step five: know that you’re allowed to be seen.

stop apologizing for taking up space. you’re allowed to exist loudly. you’re allowed to ask questions. you’re allowed to want more. you’re allowed to shine even if nobody claps yet.

visibility isn’t something you earn, it’s something you claim.

if you feel invisible, it’s not because you’re not good enough, it’s because you’re still waiting for permission.

stop waiting. show up. especially when it’s scary. that’s when it matters the most. 🌷

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

Laying in bed, have to get up and run errands. But I just want to rest in bed.

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

And just like in our youth she and I haven't really talked since she and I exchanged texts saying hello to each other. Oh well. It was nice to talk to her for the brief moments that we talked.

Uh oh....got in contact with a friend from high school who was always messy. She's telling me a lot about her still messy life. Gotta be careful with this friend. Don't jump into saving mode.

Listen and give compassion, but don't overdo the care.

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

I'm watching a video about school lunches and a random memory popped up.

In high school, for lunch, I usually bought a box of curly fries or bag of chips with a bottled Starbucks Frappe or bottle of soda.

There was a day I didn't have money for my usual, but by luck I was able to find 40 cents for lunch. I never ate school lunch, but my younger siblings did so I knew my parents had signed me up for reduced school lunches. I felt like I lucked out that day.

The school lunch I got was spaghetti with canned corn, a dinner roll and a carton of milk. I was starving and as a pasta lover, the school spaghetti was good enough. I generally don't like corn so that sat untouched, but I ate everything else.

I remember a classmate's older sister saw my tray of food and said it looked disgusting. I still ate my food, but I carried the shame of feeling judged for eating cafeteria food for a while.

I guess I just want to say, it's so weird how we place classism and a sense of goodness on food.

Food.

Like, sometimes people need to eat and all they can access is cafeteria food. What about it??

I knew for damn sure no one at that school was going to pay for the food I actually wanted to eat.

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

Felt good to dismiss someone I used to respect. Thought we'd had a mutual respect for each other but then they out of nowhere dismissed me when I gave them (what I thought was) a friendly wave hello.

We hadn't talked in months so I don't know what I did to receive a cold shoulder. I've tried talking to people about this but I've mostly gotten responses of "maybe you're reading the situation wrong".

No, I'm not. I've been bullied in girl groups where hierarchy matters plenty. I know when someone is using social currency as a power move.

I'm reaching a point where I don't chase for approval anymore. If I feel like someone is trying to fuck with me, goodbye bitch. I'm not playing your game and I won't suck up to you and your friends just to feel "accepted" or "liked" when it's obvious you use social engagement as a form of control and power.

You don't give a shit who I am and that I am a human with feelings and thoughts of my own. You're just looking for me to treat you like you're special and I should be nice and kind and helpful because you're just so much better than me.

Nah dude. If you can't have basic human respect for me, what makes you think you deserve that from me? Fuck off bitches.

Yeah, I'm nice. But I'm not that nice and I don't put up with shitty people treating me like shit if I can help it.

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

You deserve love

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

my take on the miss piggy/morticia addams sexywoman poll is that while morticia would lose gracefully, miss piggy would 1000% attempt murder over the label and morticia would respect her for it. then theyd go out for tea and gossip together

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

I filed my taxes. I filed for the years I missed too.

Such a weight off my shoulders.

I wish tax filing was easier and less insidious in the US.

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

[neuro-gal-thoughts]

Uh oh....got in contact with a friend from high school who was always messy. She's telling me a lot about her still messy life. Gotta be careful with this friend. Don't jump into saving mode.

Listen and give compassion, but don't overdo the care.

[neuro-gal-thoughts]