nelioe

[nelioe]

Something that I’ve come to notice is how surprisingly observant Vinh is when it comes to Max, specifically on an emotional level.

It’s interesting how, like Safi, Vinh is also able to pick up on the fact that Max has some sort of troubled past that she’s trying to suppress. But I feel like it’s even more impressive on Vinh’s part considering the fact that by comparison, Safi had been far closer to Max than he had been up until this point. I think it’s possible that Vinh is able to recognize a lot of the weariness that Max has been carrying around because he himself can relate to it, while also knowing what it’s like to try and hide it all away. It honestly makes me think back to the way the marketing described him as being “intelligent while also wielding social power”, as I think Vinh is someone who has trained himself to be able to read other people efficiently for his own needs in order to climb the social ladder, while in turn it has also made him a surprisingly emotionally intelligent person.

In contrast, it seems like Amanda has trouble picking up on Max’s hidden trauma, and is only able to view the more surface level stuff such as her grief over Safi’s death.

I think what intrigues me the most however is there scene together in Chapter 3. Max at this point in the game is feeling extremely depressed/insecure after Safi blew up at her, while also still reeling from everything that happened with Alderman. Amanda however isn’t able to detect the severity of Max’s demeanor until much later on in the scene.

It isn’t until Max continues to make self-deprecating comments about herself that Amanda is finally able to realize that something truly bad must have happened.

And this is no shade to Amanda! Not everyone has the ability to quickly pick up on someone’s emotional distress (we can’t all be miss Alex Chen!), and the girlie herself clearly has her own baggage to process considering the fact that she goes to therapy. But I think it’s interesting how Vinh is almost immediately able to notice Max’s dire mental state by comparison.

Something to take note of is that unlike with Amanda, Max actually does open up to Vinh about why she’s feeling so down here. When Amanda asked her what’s wrong, Max just kinda pivoted the conversation into questioning why the former even likes her, and from there she never got the opportunity to actually explain what had actually been bothering her despite it making more sense for her to do so in that timeline (minus the Alderman stuff lol) since Safi is obviously still alive over there. But with Vinh she just lets most of it out, to the point where she even slips up briefly and mentions how Safi is angry at her only to immediately realize her mistake.

And I love that! I love how Max has grown comfortable enough with Vinh in order to start being emotionally vulnerable around him. Up until this point she’s only really shown this type of vulnerability with Dead World Moses, which makes sense given the fact that they were both really close to Safi. This is something I think a lot about when it comes to their relationship post-game and how I think Vinh will be first person after Safi that Max will open up to about Arcadia Bay/Chloe and all of the trauma surrounding her past.

[nelioe]

A quick slow burn 🤭

And yes, I have these drawings in full 👀

[nelioe]

Do you know Diddl?

As a kid in Germany especially in the 90s and 00s I think it's impossible to not know Diddl. But what about other nationalities? Have you ever heard of Diddl???

For reference:

This is Diddl:

a german character that started as a postcard set and then turned into a nationwide phenomenon, especially known for its trading pages.

[nelioe]

do you think vinh was actually in love with safi? i know he starts doubting that he ever was in chapter 5, but if he wasn’t actually in love what do you think his true feelings for her were? emotional attachment maybe? on safi’s side, i think it’s interesting how even after knowing about vinh’s statement about maya she still decides to hook up with him for a time (only to eventually stop sometime prior to the game?? maybe they had another falling out idk). their relationship in general is just very fascinating to me lmao.

god, the safi-vinh dynamic is certainly one filled with intrigue because of all the intense emotions attached to the people within it ; aimed at each other and also at the bystanders whom haunted around their not so defined relationship. there’s just so much baggage attached to them, you know? mostly painful things and a general sense of betrayal or regret, creating a potion of this general wishy washy bullshit that’s hard to parse through … more so in safi’s case than vinh’s, but i’ll touch upon that later! as for your question about vinh and his true feelings, well.

maybe he was in love with safi once upon a time. maybe the fact he believed that he was in love with her is really all that matters. i suppose it depends on what your definition of romantic love and utter devotion is. it’s undeniable he cared fiercely for safi, enough so to become jealous of max ( safi’s object of obsession ), swear off serious relationships in hope she’d want him back, and to engage in a general meddling within her life to make sure she comes out of situations as unscathed as possible. i mean, he schemes to steal a cow skull and then proceeds to throw it through her windshield in an attempt to save yasmin’s and safi’s relationship … it is very extra of him to do, in fact it’s a literal crime, and the game has both max and safi acknowledge the intensity of said action in episode four. we see the memory of the hedgehog he proudly displays on his desk, the carelessness in which safi treats it, her ‘i’ll buy you another one if it breaks’, and how vinh simpers beneath that offer because he doen’t want a new one, he wants this one, the one safi gave him : a gift that was likely unprompted, some sort of surprise maybe, given to him on a whim and cherished better than any other possession he owns. we also see how he breaks it when she dies. then there’s photos upon photos of safi on his phone and it’s implied he takes pictures after they sleep together and -- that isn’t even touching upon how he practically gives up on himself after her death. the mask drops, he starts trying to branch out and find acting gigs elsewhere, wanting to leave caledon forever, and there’s a sense of raw anger and loneliness he feels when she’s gone. he stops hooking up and pushes everyone away besides max, whom he clings to, and it’s a lot, right? there’s love there. obsession, probably. in many ways he’s still the ‘puppy’ following safi around like gwen said, only without maya this time. he waits and stews and he wants, certainly, for her to love him … but was it purely romantic love? who’s to say!

i think vinh wanted safi as his girlfriend before, maybe when things weren’t so tense, and he still believed that fiercely even when he stopped wanting it. i don’t think he knew where his feelings started to dwindle into something less excited and more resigned, or when he started looking for someone else. his priority remained with safi and with yasmin and thus there wasn’t a lot of time to dissect his heart, a rather vulnerable act he already struggles with anyway. he’s a repressive sort of man. he doesn’t do a lot of introspection because he has an act to maintain, a reputation to follow. but i do believe that by the time double exposure takes place, vinh’s love for safi has indeed shifted because his attraction to max veers on something that isn’t purely sexual. there is an undeniable interest, both in dead and living world, that he’s either embracing or squirming away from … i do not think vinh had many crushes at all when he was in love with safi. i don’t think he allowed himself that luxury, because he didn’t want to move on from her, or put himself off the market in case she wanted him again, in bed or in some profound, loving sense. lots of waiting. lots of surrendering, ‘she’ll come around, we’ll make up’, and hoping despite himself. so his romance with max proves to me that vinh is somewhat right in saying ‘or i thought i was’ when talking about safi and being in love with her, because he was before, but he isn’t exactly in love with her now, if that makes sense? i’d say an emotional attachment is a good title for what they have by the time of the games events.

( i do not wish to diminish vinh’s feelings, but i also think there’s a case to be made that he was rather desperate when he thought himself in love with safi ; there was a lot of insecurity within him back when he was a student, weighed down by the fact he was poor and not your standard run-of-the-mill white man … as an adult he scoffs at his acting abilities and wields his power as head of abraxas with a rather tight fist, as though it’s the only control he’s ever had before. it’s rather clear his only two friends were safi and maya and that vinh hasn’t had any since them -- was desperate to stay on their heels despite the fact he was never really apart of whatever they had. it’s not a stretch to speculate that vinh was, perhaps, a cocktail mix of loneliness and desperation rather than strictly in love with safi. maybe confused his all-consuming need to be around her as desire, or maybe just enjoyed feeling wanted by safi enough to mix his wires. after all, why was it safi he was in love with and not maya? vinh also uses sex as a means of coping, as seen by his rather active sex life in game via hookup apps and reggie, so maybe his sex with safi was just that. coping. in it’s own way. regardless, he did love her, or so he thinks so, and to me i think that’s enough, speculation aside )

safiya’s side of things is much more difficult than vinh’s, who is more obvious about his feelings towards her than he thinks he is. there are some brief contradictions, like how it’s stated that safi doesn’t care for vinh ( which is true ) and yet she also acknowledges that when she split apart and lost herself, all that was left of her was moses, lucas, gwen, and vinh. we know that moses and gwen matter to safi, or mattered, and that at one point safi might’ve admired lucas … so where does that leave vinh? if she doesn’t hate him like gwen or lucas now, and if she doesn’t cherish him like moses or max, why is he still apart of her? what does that mean? is it just a metaphor for their times with maya, and how safi will always be connected to that past with vinh because of her love for the caledon’s personal dead girl? was her sleeping with vinh about maya too? or did she actually care for vinh once, albeit weakly and casually, and did that fleeting moment of affection count when she vanished into everyone who’s ever thoroughly affected her life? and, as you said, it’s so fascinating that she hooks up with vinh at all post maya death … it feels strange and odd and unlike her. even in their intimate picture together after fooling around she is nothing but angry, disinterested, her underwear and bra are already back on ( if they were ever off at all? ) and while that’s on account of safi just hating photos, i also think it’s a testament to how irritable she finds vinh’s presence when stuck in it. it’s not a happy photo really, even vinh’s expression is a little red-eyed, forced, like he was likely wasted the night prior. i wouldn’t be surprised if safi was only able to be with vinh if she was … you know … literally out of her mind drunk or high or what have you.

though, that’s just speculation of course. my vague take on things is that safi went to vinh whenever she was partied out or if she was feeling particularly destructive that day ; choked with self loathing over her mom or maya and so sex with vinh was a means for her to feel even worse. some sort of self harm, some sort of outlet where she could be particularly cruel and evil without consequence, because vinh would take it and roll over -- could even be her way of controlling things too, like vinh with abraxas, because we know vinh has no issues with being led around in the bedroom, so that’s some food for thought. i don’t think she thinks about it after or remembers it much … she really doesn’t think about vinh unless it suits her or if she needs to. i always notice how, in episode four, safiya immediately knows what max is talking about when she asks if safi’s ever transformed into amanda, gwen, or lucas. she owns up immediately, confesses, and understands intimately what situation max is referring to. but when max asks about vinh and the phone, there is a brief moment where safi just stares blankly at her -- like she’s thinking about it, like she doesn’t even remember, before it finally clicks after a beat. either she wears vinh’s metaphorical skin a lot ( which, to be fair, she does pretend to be vinh a lot in game ) or she literally thinks of him so little she’ll forget everything about him in minutes. both are likely! she doesn’t even recall what type of alcohol he likes, calling it bougie japanese brandy ‘or whatever’ … and can’t be assed to remember his phone’s pin number exactly, only vague details about a magician scientist that she clearly thought was boring and lame when vinh told her said story, if her hostility and complete forgetfulness is anything to go by. for me, it’s easy to get caught up in a ‘safi did care! she had to!’ angle about vinh, although the game repeatedly shows you over and over again that she does not. she doesn’t even care that max kissed him really, if anything, she’s more jealous of vinh being with max given some of her remarks :

( i know, technically, safi’s ‘come again?’ is more nervous than jealous per se … but there is a certain air to it, especially given the ‘i can be your new boyfriend’ comment as seen above lol. if she loves max and doesn’t care for vinh, i can only imagine how she’d feel about their romance in particular! )

and, of course, there’s that part in episode four where safi can disguise herself as vinh in order to tear lucas a new one. i enjoy that part for many reasons! seeing how safi feels so much more comfortable in someone else’s skin than her own is fascinating and makes for good foreshadowing … but there is also the reveal of her opinions on vinh, unabashed and shameless, when she is finally giving him an ounce of thought :

it’s interesting! she doesn’t care for him, really, doesn’t loathe him like lucas or gwen or her own mother, but there’s a level of vitriol regardless. she thinks him fake. she thinks him a coward. she thinks he’s scared of facing consequences and that he only acts in his own self interest and she hates every bit of that. while safi can confess to doing maya wrong and hating herself for it, she never allows vinh that same courtesy. even says as much to max, claiming that only she had the humanity to regret her choice while vinh apparently didn’t. and yet … she doesn’t hate him? doesn’t feel strongly towards him? he’s still apart of her, a large part, and she can get along with him fine on crosstalk if she so pleases and she can hate his guts but, when the raw truth is revealed, she apparently feels nothing towards him at all? it is fascinating to think about is all. how she doesn’t wish him dead but doesn’t care if he’s alive either despite everything they’ve been through, even though she hates gwen and lucas and her mother more. it’s rather mean, though that’s what makes it so complex and interesting. it shows that safi only ever cares ( and oh, does she care fiercely, obsessively ) for a very slim group of people, and that when push comes to shove, everyone else can fend for themselves for all she cares. she would protect moses and max in a heartbeat, without thought, and the piece of her within them tries valiantly to keep them safe by locking them away from the world ( another thing to dissect, certainly! ), but she doesn’t really extend such empathy towards the innocents caught in her crossfire. she may be tormenting lucas and gwen specifically, but everyone else was going to be collateral damage and safi was fine with that. at least a little bit. vinh falls in that category of inevitable damage, i think, despite their closeness and despite their history, and you can tell that’s what really wounds him at the end of things. safi couldn’t even torment him, didn’t have the want or energy to do so, he was valiantly apart of her and safi didn’t even care about that. very interesting! it’s also heartbreaking in many ways to see two people who should’ve been able to lean on each other, who should’ve loved one another, be nothing but strangers at the end of things. an example of how tragedy doesn’t always bring people closer. sometimes it drives you worlds apart from the one you should be grieving with, which can be seen in other life is strange games, most notably with chloe and joyce, i think.

anyway! tldr : it’s complicated and worth exploring. there are many ways you can interpret their relationship and i highly encourage everyone to find what angle is most interesting to them! and i don’t blame you for finding their dynamic fascinating because it’s easily one of my favorites in double exposure … i don’t think of it often, but it’s always lingering in the back of my mind. regardless, i hope this word vomit is helpful! if i brought up more questions than answers, i do apologize. but thank you so much for such a fun question <3 it was an absolute blast, and tickled my brain enough to pump this out asap.

[nelioe]

"Moses: Smash or Pass?"

[nelioe]

A gift for you! 🎁 Penguin thought long and hard about a unique present.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

[nelioe]

hey everyone be careful

I don't know if anyone has talked about this, but lately this has been happening in other fandoms too. There'll be these bot accounts that straight up steals people's posts and adds "expand" "read more" "continue" as a link in the end of the post - DON'T CLICK ON THAT, it's most likely a malware or something of the like.

so if you see a post like this: no profile picture, something that looks reposted (I've seen this happening to artists too) and a link at the end, even if the post has tags, that's a bot. Block and report it.

stay safe, and I hope @staff finds a way to stop these bots soon!

[nelioe]

We always talk about how Vinh opens up to Max over time... So I think it's time to talk about how the same thing happens with Max as well.

Max, who arrived in Caledon hiding her past from everyone, including her best friend, slowly reveals glimpses of her traumas and secrets to Vinh.

While drinking together, Vinh tries to learn more about Max and she can be really dodged in both options... Until Vinh says "haunted people are interesting", and that's when Max, for the first time, just lets out a small piece of herself:

"haunted people have to live inside their haunted brains."

While talking about the Tarot cards and Vinh mentions the "fear of the future", Max can't help but wonder a bit about her own experience and trauma.

"we tend to cause the exact thing we're trying to avoid."

When they met at the bar, Max just vented about everything that was bothering her after he asked about her day.

What's interesting is that when Amanda asks the same question, Max turns the table and they end up talking about Amanda's relationship issues instead.

But with Vinh, Max just spills the beans right away and is being so honest about it that she even lets Safi's name slip when she shouldn't (because they are in the dead world).

After the kiss, Max has the option to say that she is saving the world. It is a small flirtation and without context it could be seen as a joke, but she is actually revealing the truth to him whether Vinh understands it or not.

This is Max opening up to him and admitting the hardship she has been facing, being vulnerable.

Choosing this option, we see the way Max looks at him, then looks away and laughs to herself. She just can't believe is about to say this, but she doesn't want to lie to him anymore, even if she can't tell him the whole truth yet.

At the end of the game, Max is willing to reveal her past to her friends, but it is with Vinh that she has the option to share a little about her trauma, as it is something they can both relate to.

"It's was for me, the first time."

There are other little bits here and there in other of their missable interactions, but this post is already too long. So let's leave it at that.

As we can see, despite their interactions starting out being tentative and hesitant, her character develops to share more and more with him, and by the end it seems like Max and Vinh can talk about anything if given the chance.

And they promised to "talk soon" 🥰

[nelioe]

Shout-out to multilingual writers who are writing in their second (or third and so on) language.

The frustration of speaking it fluently, but still having to google basic words when you're writing.

The absolute joy of finding a word that sounds just perfect and conveys exactly what you mean.

Doubting all your grammar and being afraid to post it or even send it to a beta reader.

The euphoria of someone calling your use of this language, that is not your mother tongue, beautiful.

[nelioe]

run squirrel run, construction paper with paint and ink (prints)

[nelioe]

Drawing inspired by something I wrote a while back 🥰

This is another one that definitely won't make it to Twitter 😂

[nelioe]

teehee, happy anniversary day ^__^

[nelioe]

A little sketch of something I'm working on.

The whole thing may never see the light of day, but I want to share it anyway 🥰

[nelioe]

"Cute banter, barely restrained sexual tension, etcetera..."

[nelioe]

It’s that time of year again where everyone and their mother watches it

[nelioe]

Aus gegebenem Anlass.

[nelioe]

tired