necr0lysis - Tumblr blog

[necr0lysis]

fellow people who have something different about them: i am urging you to ask your doctors for written documentation of your diagnoses!

it doesn't matter if it's a general doctor a therapist a neurologist a specialist it doesn't matter!!!

just PLEASE have written proof that you are struggling or different or need medical attention or you experience things "wrong"

not only will it aid in fighting off imposter syndrome but take it from me, you do NOT want to be asked by a new doctor "what are your current diagnoses" and all you can say is "um you know i think i might have this and i was being tested for it but the doctor never actually told me he was diagnosing me w it so idk"

i have memory issues. i also do not understand people when they are vague. my psychiatrist diagnosed me with adhd by WHISPERING under his breath "adhd combined type" which of course isn't gonna validate me AT ALL WHEN I TOLD HIM I NEED TO READ IT ON PAPER FOR IT TO REGISTER IN MY BRAIN

here's the thing. having one thing wrong with you, makes you more likely to have other things wrong with you. you're physically disabled? chances are you deal with brain fog or memory issues or confusion. you deserve a written diagnosis! you're neurodivergent? chances are you have memory issues or ruminating thoughts or lower cognition. you deserve a written diagnosis!

[necr0lysis]

these are disabilities. it is neglect to not tell your child they are experiencing their world differently. it sets them up for mental health issues, self harm, suicide. i was not feeling like very normal child when i was self harming in elementary school.

Not telling your kid they have a learning disability, chronic illness, mental illness etc. so they can “feel normal” actually does the opposite. They will not feel normal if they do not have the context to understand that their normal will be different from that of their peers.

[necr0lysis]

friendly reminder that "neurodivergent" means in the simplest terms, your brain works differently than what is expected. it was not created to be a shorthand for developmental disabilities. if you have

ocd

depression

anxiety

ptsd

any tic disorder

autism

adhd

bipolar

huntingtons

dementia

traumatic brain injury

intellectual disability

schizo-spec disorders

any learning disability

any personality disorder

sensory processing disorder

you are neurodivergent!!! that's it plain and simple. just because you have autism and adhd and you use the term "neurodivergent" doesn't mean you can police the meaning of it! it was a term CREATED for inclusivity and community between ALL people whose brains work differently

[necr0lysis]

As an autistic person, I think some autistic people (and neurotypicals attempting to be good allies) are sometimes doing more harm than good with how insistent we are that autistic people are as capable of achievements as anyone else.

I’m feeling quite tired right now and writing this first go without thinking too much about how I’m wording it, so please bear with me while I explain how I mean that. Basically I just saw a post of a father saying his son is autistic and has struggled to get a job because of it, but he was a really polite, sweet young man, and because of his personality one employer overlooked his struggles and gave him his first job. The post was him showing pride in his sons hood personality and spirit, and half the comments were autistic people saying it was patronising and “of course he can get a job, autistic people can do normal things and achieve things like everyone else.”

And look. I get it. We’re tired of being treated like children. We’re tired of being the subject of “inspo porn”. We’re tired of people acting like we can’t do things just because we’re autistic. But I think a lot of autistic people who are more well adapted and low-needs (again please excuse my terming, I know we don’t use low functioning/high functioning labels anymore but I don’t know what the alternative is) get offended by people acknowledging that some autistic people DO struggle, whether it’s with making friends or academically or with getting and keeping a job. Statistically speaking 3 in 10 autistic adults are in full time employment, compared to 8 in 10 non-disabled adults. And yeah that statistics probably off because of how many people go through life undiagnosed, but the point still stands. Because of learning difficulties, problems with socialisation or being unable to cope in a work environment due to sensory and other issues, many autistic people are unable to work. I don’t know the situation of the son from the post, but it is clearly something he’s struggled with, and the dad is not being patronising by acknowledging that struggle and praising him for overcoming it. By responding to a post like that by saying “of course autistic people can get jobs”, you are doing what ableists do. You are implying that people who can’t work because of their autism are actually just not trying. You are making autistic people who feel really proud of themselves for getting a job despite the difficulties they face seem stupid for it. And, if you’re not careful, you become someone’s excuse to claim autistic people don’t deserve accommodation or disability allowance/benefits because “they don’t need it, autistic people are perfectly capable of getting jobs.”

Another thing to consider: think about that person who said “you’re autistic? But you don’t behave like my 7 year old nephew? That’s not what autism is.” By saying autistic people can do something because YOU can do it is setting a rigid view of What Autism Is. Which like. We’ve all established is bad.

Again I’d like to apologise for how badly worded and ramble-y this is but autism is a disability, and it effects everyone with it differently. Let’s not diminish other people’s struggles

[necr0lysis]

a person online: i hate it when adults act like childish little freaks in public, smh. you’re an adult, you should be able to order your own food without help. get over yourself. also, why are some people, like, waaaaaaay too into the stuff that they like? omg, and the people who CLEARLY can’t even have one (1) normal conversation without acting Weird??? it’s embarrassing, u guys are embarrassing, get help

the same person five seconds later: we gotta remember to love and support the autistic community u guys <3

[necr0lysis]

also PDA. i loved to draw when i was a child and everyone thought i would make a living off my art. until everyone started asking me to draw stuff for them. it's been over 8 years since i've been able to draw anything, i lost my skills because i stopped because it had gotten so stressful. suggesting that autistic people should get jobs to go with their special interest not only put pressure on the autistic person to possibly ruin any happiness associated with that interest but it kinda creates the idea that special interests are there to "make up" for the bad parts about autism. like yeah he's weird but look he's good at this and he makes money off it so it's fine now!

I hate when people are like “autistic people should do a job that goes with their special interests” bc in theory it sounds great but in reality its not

I mean my special interest atm is Bobs Burgers. Wtf am i meant to do with that?

[necr0lysis]

"it's all social media"

my boyfriend has tiktok. he has instagram. i don't know if he had vine when it was around but i'd believe it. short quick funny videos, they can mess with your attention span.

but here's the thing, social media cannot single handedly make any person who uses it developmentally disabled. it's literally not possible

i grew up poor. we didn't have internet or tv. i never had vine. rarely use instagram and to this day have never downloaded tiktok.

out of me and my boyfriend I am the one who constantly stops in the middle of conversation because i have memory issues. I forget if i ate today and i ask him and he knows the answer everytime! I rarely know what month we're in and he can guess the time and be CORRECT 9 times out of 10.

he does have a short attention span. he does have memory issues (because he does mma and gets hit in the head) but he is not disabled. he is not like this by nature. and he does not have problems with working a job or getting things done or holding conversations like i do.

adhd has nothing to do with social media

"everyone has a little ADHD! it's the social media!"

[necr0lysis]

not what affects you the most but what symptom do you experience most often

[necr0lysis]

MAJOR TW FOR TALK ABOUT ABUSE BELOW.

i was starved as a child for being mentally disabled.

i was raped by my ex boyfriend at 18

i have been repeatedly taken advantage of

lied to

hurt

called names

slurs

i am the person some people talk about when the say "others have it worse" and i still think like this. i still think i don't deserve the title of traumatized or cptsd or someone who needs help. it comes with mental illness, feeling like you must be some sort of monster for letting something so "small" make you hurt.

if it's any validation, you are feeling the way a traumatized person feels. no, you should not feel ashamed that others have it worse. the people who have it worse are thinking about who has it worse than them!

Even if your trauma could have technically been worse, this doesn’t mean it’s not allowed to affect you. It’s something you went through that you shouldn’t have gone through. It makes sense that you’re struggling with it. And you aren’t weak for struggling with it.

[necr0lysis]

“Nobody has that many things wrong with them.”

Actually, lots of people do. I just happen to have an audience and refuse to shut up about it because medical neglect meant I almost died in silence, so I am adamant to survive as loudly and as annoyingly as possible to make sure no one else goes what I go through and hopefully know they’re not alone.

Also it’s called comorbidities and the knock on effect of being told I was “just anxious” for thirty odd years while my body was allowed to crumble. Had I been correctly diagnosed a lot sooner and given adequate medical care, a lot of the things wrong with me might never have happened.

As it is, I was slapped with an anxiety label for the longest time and allowed to deteriorate until it almost killed me. I am now living with the consequences of that.

And if you truly can’t relate or think it impossible: Be thankful your medical experiences to date have sheltered you from that.

[necr0lysis]

can someone please tell me this pumpkin walnut cake with maple cream cheese icing looks tasty? baking is my special interest and nobody seems as excited about this cake as i do. which is concerning cus the usual rule in the house is i'm not allowed to bake a big thing until the last big thing has been eaten

i love making desserts!!!!

[necr0lysis]

i keep seeing a lot of posts that are like "have a little empathy you cold uncaring asshole" and it's making me worry that i am once again the outlier. so yey a little reassurance post for me

cognitive empathy - being able to predict or understand how someone feels/is going to feel. you are able to work through a mental process to understand COGNITIVELY what someone is going through

ex: my friends dog just died, this must be hard for her because people are sad when things die

affective empathy - FEELING the emotion of the other person. the other persons emotions AFFECT your own

ex: my friends dog just died, i feel so bad seeing her cry. it might make me cry too!

[necr0lysis]

Want to make thing clear: Support needs exist outside of ADLs and iADLs. Just because someone LSN-MSN like me, doesn’t mean very minimal support needs. Just means do not need support for bADLs. Need support significantly in pretty much every other area. Cannot live alone safely. Need daily help for good chunk of day to do “basic” things.

Support needs not minimal, just don’t need physical support daily for basic stay alive stay breathing type stuff. Which very very lucky, not trying to dismiss that, but want to bring awareness to more broad support needs.

[necr0lysis]

Mossy Petrichor's healthy coping 101

Do you always dissociate from distressing situations, repress strong emotions or deal with stress by self harming? Do you have 0 idea what it means when people talk about "coping"? This post is for you!

I usually see this happen a lot in people who were emotionally neglected (like yours truly), which is unfortunately really common, but no less traumatizing

Psa: all of this is based off my own experience, as someone who also had no idea how to cope and learned it by themselves. This isn't medical advice!

So, what does coping mean?

When you go through a stressful situation, you can feel your emotions at a 10/10. To cope is to bring this down so you don't lose your mind. This can apply to anger, sadness, hopelessness, fear

I like to separate coping into two ways:

Expressing the emotions in a healthy way

Calming yourself and bringing the emotions down (when you can't express them, or when those emotions do more harm than good)

I usually go by 1, but 2 can be used for when, for example, feeling angry at someone who can't change. So you keep feeling this anger that you can't do anything about, and it'll just make you feel worse to keep feeling it whenever you look at this person

Here's some things to make sure to do if you're feeling shitty:

Drink water

Eat a meal

Shower/bathe

Take a nap

Move your body (go outside if you can)

Socialize, talk to friends

(think of yourself as an animal in the zoo. If you noticed them feeling bad, what would you do to make them feel better?)

Here's some examples of how to express emotions healthily:

Singing loudly, screaming, humming, stimming verbally, talking to yourself out loud about what made you feel bad

Acting, drawing, painting (it doesn't have to be perfect! Just express whatever those emotions feel like, in whichever way feels right)

Writing poetry, visual poetry, making playlists, writing (like projecting into a character, make them do the things you wish you could do to cope)

Writing about how you feel, crying, venting (can be counterproductive, so if you feel like venting is just making things worse, try something else!)

Dancing, jumping, running/walking, exercising, cleaning, stimming physically

Ripping paper, chewing on something

Baking or cooking, going outside, playing with animals, gardening, taking pictures

Here's some examples of how to calm your emotions when you can't express them:

Watch something that makes you laugh

Consume comfort media (make a list! Videos, series, movies, books, songs)

Play a chill game

Make a list of things that make you happy and read it

Listening to music

Taking deep breaths, tensing and relaxing your muscles

Engage with things that make you happy (a hobby, art, an interest)

Meditation, sitting and thinking about your emotions

This isn't an extensive list! Coping is a very personal thing, and all of these are suggestions if you don't know where to start! In the beginning, it can (and will) feel like it doesn't do anything, because you're used to immediate solutions to make you stop feeling unpleasant emotions, and healthy coping mechanisms don't work immediately - it's a long term thing

Some of these can make you feel worse, in which case you should just try something else. As I said, they won't immediately make you feel better until you're more used to coping healthily

Eventually, you'll reach a point where it feels more intuitive and less forceful and uncomfortable, but you have to get past this first phase! It's like building a muscle, and it takes work. With practice, you'll figure out what works best for you and what doesn't

I promise it gets easier :•)

[necr0lysis]

not only this but autistic people are KNOWN for being targets of abuse as well as a lot of us struggling with asking for help. a lot of us cannot set up appointments by ourselves. we need someone to do it for us. and if we're living with people who are abusing or neglecting us then it will never get done. the ONLY reason i am getting my diagnoses now is because i went to the mental hospital four times so people felt inclined to feel bad for me, i have a foster care caseworker that does a lot of things for me and last year i met my wonderful boyfriend who's been helping me. just a year and a half ago i was sleeping on the floor of the dining room like a DOG worrying about how i'm gonna be homeless because my family wouldn't help me and everyone thought i was an antisocial asshole who hated people and noise and was grumpy all the time instead of a suicidal teenage girl holding on for dear life. (informed and researched) self diagnosis of autism is valid because if the universe didn't bless me with this foster care housing opportunity and i didn't meet my boyfriend, NONE of it would've gotten done. it is not fair to assume a disabled person who's been in desperate need of help for things so basic as brushing their teeth everyday is capable of setting up and going to an evaluation all by themselves. and EVEN IF THEY DO GET THAT, a diagnosis doesn't do a whole lot by itself. it can give you closure and validation. it can help doctors and police officers understand communication with you. but it doesn't automatically give you accommodations or aids. it doesn't make your life that much better by itself. it's an explanation. it's not buried treasure. why are we keeping something so simple from the people who need it?

anyways i can now say that as an officially diagnosed autistic person, you’re completely valid if you self dx autism.

i was self diagnosed for over 8 years before i finally managed to get tested and diagnosed, and it is far from easy, nor is it cheap, especially when you have factors working against you (like i for example was afab, queer, and poor, plus my mom was actively trying to sabotage every attempt i made to get tested. some people also have their race or other factors making it harder still to be taken seriously)

i wouldn’t be in this position if i hadn’t self diagnosed and advocated for myself all those years. and along the way i learned to love myself for my autistic traits, not in spite of them, and gained access to a wonderful autistic community that has helped me probably in more ways than even i know.

you know yourself better than anyone else. if you say you’re autistic, then you’re autistic in my book.

[necr0lysis]

LOW SUPPORT NEEDS AND HIGH SUPPORT NEEDS POLL ALSO ON MY ACCOUNT

please don't vote on this one unless you are msn

[necr0lysis]

LOW SUPPORT NEEDS AND MEDIUM SUPPORT NEEDS POLL ALSO ON MY ACCOUNT.

please don't vote on this one unless you are hsn