naughty-doggo

[naughty-doggo]

(…yeah. i’m leaving tumblr, at least for a while. not deleting my blog, but i’m leaving. i just can’t be here right now. i’m sorry.)

(i’ll be online until tonight, so if any mutuals want my discord, feel free to dm and ask.)

[naughty-doggo]

singlehandedly funding the suntan l0tion industry aren't y0u?

you know it

gotta keep my tan looking good

[naughty-doggo]

(incidentally, i’m gonna say that all of the magic food asks i got are all in effect at the same time. so go nuts, because it all reverts tomorrow.)

[naughty-doggo]

Snake Oil

“Oh, ew, do I really have to drink this?”

She cautiously takes a sip... then starts happily drinking the gross-looking concoction.

“It’s a lot tastier than it smells! Weird...”

[naughty-doggo]

Full-Gallon+Zephyr?

Jade drinks the copious amount of drink, its magic taking effect so that she doesn’t even notice that she’s become twelve feet tall now.

“That was tasty... now, if you need me, I’ll be out sunbathing!”

She uses her powers to change into a bathing suit and heads over towards the beach.

[naughty-doggo]

Black Taffy

“Ooh! Neat!”

Jade scarfs down the snack, not noticing any significant changes at first... then she pulls on her arm. It stretches, snapping back into place when she lets go.

“Oh, that’s cool! I’m like an old cartoon character!”

[naughty-doggo]

Potion and Snack Sampler

In these trying times, those of us at the Hellion’s Respite have decided to expand. As such we will begin a delivery service for select items and enchantments from the shop as gifts. Simply reblog the post and admirers (anonymous or no) will order on your behalf. Enjoy! *

*All products are samples and last 24 hours at their longest.

Slimeballs - A gelatinous orb that can be eaten in one bite, providing a cooling sensation and turning the subject into a slimeperson. Lightly acidic body that will slowly decompose matter not consciously focused on and act as mild aphrodisiac. Color and flavor are up to request.

Fireball - Contained in a dragonscale flask, this bubbling drink goes down with a roar. When consumed, the user will turn into a dragon for the duration, with specifics of species reliant on their disposition and experience

Hair of the Beast - Sitting in a classic bulbous bottle, though the drink looks unappetizing it packs a loving bite. The user turns into a beastfolk according either to the whims of the sender or the inner nature of the user. 

Black Taffy - A long tab of thick, shining black taffy. Smooth and tough at first, but with a bit of time it proves to be incredibly stretchy. The user turns into a being made of latex/rubber with increased elasticity.

Cream Malt - Served in a classic milk bottle, this thick dessert is sure to leave anyone full and satisfied. The user turns into a cowperson. Their breasts swell to accommodate heavy lactation of the dairy beverage of sender’s choice, the default being plain milk.

Frothy Water - The only product to be served in a plastic bottle, this is a drink for those who prefer their hydration fizzy and with the faint flavor of something else. The user starts to inflate with gas or liquid according to sender’s choice, defaulting to gas. 

Blow-Up Pops - While seemingly normal while wrapped, the actual lollipops are modeled after the body part it is meant to inflate, coming in Melon, Birthday Cake, Raspberry, and Banana. When eaten, the targeted area begins to expand to twice its original size per pop. If multiple of the same pop are consumed in the same timeframe, it moves from double to triple, rather than exponentially.

Snake Oil - The smell of hair grease and industry smoke wafts off the first sip of this murky water, only to start tasting of homemade hot chocolate and tea. The user becomes more susceptible to suggestion. Any serious request seems more amenable to the user and rewards compliance with enhanced pleasure. The user will not do anything against their nature or safety. 

Mint Mix - Ever spinning in a perpetual free fall, a single mint leaf hangs in green-tinted liquid within a spherical glass bottle. The user becomes more sensitive to all physical sensations for the duration, with emphasis on pleasure (and pain if so predisposed). 

Half-Pint / Full-Gallon - Packaged together, this drink can be just about any liquid, so long as it is either exactly half a pint or a full gallon. The user either shrinks to half their size or doubles it, amplified by additional containers consumed from.

Hotheads - Nickle sized red, orange, or yellow spheres that start out sweet but get spicy as time goes on, leaving a lasting, powerful heat in the tummy. The user enters a heat, marked particularly by a lust that rises over time until a fever pitch 6 hours after consumption. The peak lasts an hour and makes the user near insatiable and unstoppable, cursed with supreme stamina. Effects can be amplified and delayed if multiple are taken in rapid succession, potentially expanding the heat process across a full week. Results may vary.

Surprise Egg! - Do you like toys, trinkets, and other kitschy items? Do you want to be filled with something that will last? These chocolates are for you! The user is filled with a number of eggs determined by the sender or up to 2d4. Eggs last as long as the user wants and, when laid, will leave a simple toy or one of the other samples listed.

Zephyr - A special brew that tastes like the height of summer, emulating the heaviness of the heat and the relief that comes when a cool breeze sweeps by. The perfect time to languish and relax. When consumed, the user becomes more relaxed and prone to seek out simple pleasures, defaulting to whatever base hedonisms they prefer. 

[naughty-doggo]

Send a “❗” to force the truth out of my muse.

No limits. Ask whatever.

[naughty-doggo]

Does a certain 'someone' know about your "experimentation?"

shh

its a surprise

[naughty-doggo]

What HAVE you been up to lately, anyway?

uh well

“experimenting”

[naughty-doggo]

0h, theres the fabled pumpkin

huh??

[naughty-doggo]

au: attempting to solve world hunger without any test subjects but yourself is hell on your waistline, genius that jade may be

“...damn it.”

Jade groaned as she looked at the readout on the scale. She had gained another fifteen pounds since yesterday. She tried to convince herself that the extra weight would be worth it, that all of her attempts to create real-life lembas wafers would solve world hunger. But in her haste, she hadn’t considered that taste-testing a food that gives you a whole day’s worth of nutrition in one bite, about twenty times a day, would cause problems with her body. She had ballooned out from 150 pounds to nearly 350.

Oh well, no matter. She’d continue testing. Surely she was close. Surely she wouldn’t gain much more weight before she perfected the product... right?

[naughty-doggo]

pinned post still links to the old nsfw jade blog on each blog

(heck, thanks for telling me. i’ll fix that right now.)

[naughty-doggo]

AU: Jade decides to embrace her position at the top of the corporate hierarchy in the tech company her grampa owned. Along the various perks it brings such as being able to call anyone for 'private talks' and such.

“Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

Jade turned away from her computer to face her visitor. During her time as CEO and owner of Harleycorp, she had garnered quite a reputation for being a fair and kind boss... and a hot one at that. She always wore tops that seemed a tad too tight across her chest, accented by the ties she wore draped across her bust, as well as tight pencil skirts. Rumors spread that she would call employees she particularly liked for “private talks”, with said employees always returning to their desks extremely happy, but they’d never say why...

[naughty-doggo]

(if anyone wants to rp any of these au’s, feel free to send a starter! just make sure to specify the au)

[naughty-doggo]

Au: jade is very pregnant and very busty as a result

“Oh, damn it, I liked this shirt.”

Jade groaned as she removed her top. Not only was it stretched by the immensity of her bust and belly, but it was soaked through completely. She had been leaking without realizing, only noticing when the milk soaked through completely and started dripping onto her workbench. She discarded the soaked top and waddled over to find her breast pump.

[naughty-doggo]

AU : Jade is a record-setting competitive eater

“And with a staggering 100 hot dogs consumed in less than ten minutes, Jade Harley is the winner!”

Jade raises a fist in celebration, stifling a loud belch and rubbing her stuffed gut with her other hand. She had been rather large before, but with a hundred hot dogs stuffed in there, her belly was even more prominent, so large now that her shirt couldn’t fully cover it anymore.