natasjawrites

[natasjawrites]

Let’s talk about intergenerational trauma. Have you heard of it before? In my latest post I wrote about how moving away from pain has been a noticeable pattern in my upbringing. Part of my generational trauma. My ancestors did it. My parents did it. I did it. Have you discovered any patterns or coping mechanisms?

[natasjawrites]

From my ancestors to me. They moved from Asia to Guyana and Suriname. Two of my grandparents moved from Guyana to Suriname. My parents and I moved from Suriname to the Netherlands. Even I moved away from the Netherlands, and lived in other countries. I’ve realized, however, that moving doesn’t change anything. Not for long. I need to move on instead. That starts with telling my story. Read it on natasjawrites.com

[natasjawrites]

I’ve noticed certain patterns between myself, my parents, and my ancestors. Read more on natasjawrites.com

[natasjawrites]

“Don’t worry if someone doesn’t like you. The truth is that most people are struggling to simply like themselves. Be true to yourself and you will find your tribe.”

— Rebel Thriver

[natasjawrites]

My journal has been the place I knew I could return to when I needed to sort out my feelings. There were no boundaries in my childhood home, so the safest place for my deepest and darkest secrets, desires, and thoughts weren’t shared in my journal. They remained locked and guarded in my head. Other private thoughts were unshared with others, except for my diary. 

— Read more on natasjawrites.com Do you keep a journal? Are you able to share everything in it, or do you keep parts of yourself locked too?

[natasjawrites]

On finding my voice after being dismissed for so long. Read it on natasjawrites.com

[natasjawrites]

Bir Akşam getir bana bütün Akşamlardan farklı..

[natasjawrites]

This is the story of Natasja. Thirty-something writer. Bisexual. Lipstick lover. Holder of multiple diplomas, I’m a curious woman, seeking to understand the world around me and within. I’m passionate about nerdy things that I can talk about for hours. And... I’m a little lost. A lot lost.

All my life I’ve been defined by hyphens. Surinamese-Hindustani. Indo-Caribbean. South-Asian. Dutch-but where are you really from? You know the drill. You’re not quite this, and you’re never quite that. Yet still looking to belong somewhere.

The Little Mermaid was one of the Disney movies I deeply related to as a child, because Ariel swam in the waters… but she really wanted to walk on land. Speaking of projecting, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my all-time favorite tv-show (is my age showing?). She just wanted to be a normal girl, she didn’t want to be forced into a life that wasn’t her own.

There’s a recurring theme in the story of me: Stuck between cultures, and stuck between my own needs and that of others. During my teens I thought I would’ve figured everything out as an adult, but here I am—in my thirties, still struggling, still holding myself back.

.

“What will people think?”

.

Hyphens aren’t the only thing that have defined me. I’ve let others define me. My mother. My father. The family. Loved ones. Strangers. I’ve put their needs above my own.

Somewhere in my twenties I lost myself, and most of that decade has been given to depression. I did what I thought was necessary to be accepted, to be loved, to be successful whilst barely hanging on. I don’t want that anymore. I have to find a way to live for me. I have to take back my power.

Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Honestly, I’ve no freaking clue. But I’m working hard on figuring that out… for me. Not others. It’s time to change the narrative. It’s time to be brave, to be seen, to be really me. Whoever that is.

That’s where Unearth my Roots comes in. A worded manifestation of my journey. I’ll be writing for me, but I’m also writing for you. I know I’m not alone, and I hope that with my posts and through my stories you’ll feel less alone too.

.

.

.

read more on Natasja writes

[natasjawrites]

This is the story of Natasja. Thirty-something writer. Bisexual. Lipstick lover. Holder of multiple diplomas, I’m a curious woman, seeking to understand the world around me and within. I’m passionate about nerdy things that I can talk about for hours. And... I’m a little lost. A lot lost. 

All my life I’ve been defined by hyphens. Surinamese-Hindustani. Indo-Caribbean. South-Asian. Dutch-but where are you really from? You know the drill. You’re not quite this, and you’re never quite that. Yet still looking to belong somewhere.

The Little Mermaid was one of the Disney movies I deeply related to as a child, because Ariel swam in the waters… but she really wanted to walk on land. Speaking of projecting, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my all-time favorite tv-show (is my age showing?). She just wanted to be a normal girl, she didn’t want to be forced into a life that wasn’t her own.

There’s a recurring theme in the story of me: Stuck between cultures, and stuck between my own needs and that of others. During my teens I thought I would’ve figured everything out as an adult, but here I am—in my thirties, still struggling, still holding myself back.

“What will people think?”

Hyphens aren’t the only thing that have defined me. I’ve let others define me. My mother. My father. The family. Loved ones. Strangers. I’ve put their needs above my own. 

Somewhere in my twenties I lost myself, and most of that decade has been given to depression. I did what I thought was necessary to be accepted, to be loved, to be successful whilst barely hanging on. I don’t want that anymore. I have to find a way to live for me. I have to take back my power.

Who am I? What am I doing with my life? Honestly, I’ve no freaking clue. But I’m working hard on figuring that out… for me. Not others. It’s time to change the narrative. It’s time to be brave, to be seen, to be really me. Whoever that is.

That’s where Unearth my Roots comes in. A worded manifestation of my journey. I’ll be writing for me, but I’m also writing for you. I know I’m not alone, and I hope that with my posts and through my stories you’ll feel less alone too.

.

.

.

read more on Natasja writes

[natasjawrites]

“Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them."

[natasjawrites]

You are not accidental. The world needs you. Without you, something will be missing in existence and nobody can replace it.

Osho (via theperfeqtquotes)

[natasjawrites]

Introducing — Natasja writes unearth my roots.

A blog with vulnerable and therapeutic writings by Indo-Caribbean writer Natasja about identity, culture, and mental health for girls, women and non-binary folks.

Read the stories on natasjawrites.com

[natasjawrites]

fly high, heart of mine

[natasjawrites]

“If you ignore your feelings they will get your attention in other ways.”

— Kathy Kalina