narsdana

[narsdana]

Thy will be done in 2024

A whole year spent in a place miles away from home by myself and I am tired. I must have said those words a thousand times in 2023.

I am tired.

Driving tires me. Speaking the English language tires me. Working and paying bills tires me. Living alone and doing everything on my own tires me.

Waking up felt like a chore & I can't seem to celebrate life anymore like before.

There's a lot that happened and changed. I have been in situations that pushed me to do things I would have never thought of doing because that's the only way to protect my sanity and be at peace. I have encountered different emotions all at once making me want to withdraw and quit. I keep telling myself I just needed to decide every day to move forward, go with the flow and I'll be okay.

"A couple more hours and I can get off work soon."

"One more day of work and I won't be back for the next two."

"30 more minutes of driving and I'll reach my destination."

"One more week and I'll have to pay my bills again."

This is how I've been coping from all the stress and pressure of this life. Sad, right?

It's not until the past few days of last year that I realized I've given too much of myself to the world. That's probably why I feel so tired despite the physical rest I get because the solution to this really is to be resting in God, not in bed.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus said "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." How beautiful this promise is and the only condition it requires us to do is to come to HIM.

Often when we are faced with challenges, we tend to fix it and carry them all over our shoulders. That's heavy and that will also make you not see the blessings God has been pouring in to your life this whole time. Now, when I come to think about it, He has been showing me favor and goodness but I've been too focused on my problems that I couldn't enjoy the moments.

For this year, I am committing EVERYTHING to God. I'll let Him do it HIS WAY and not mine. Even if He says "no", even if it hurts, even if I don't understand, even if I get tired, I won't question.

When God sent His Son to be the living sacrifice for the sins of the world, Jesus asked no question. He knew God, He trusted in His Father's plan and was certain that humanity is worth saving.

May Thy will be done in 2024!

[narsdana]

Happy 2023, Y’all

To wrap up the previous year, here’s some of the many changes and lessons in my life.

God’s timing is always the best timing.

I kept forgetting because I can be impatient sometimes. Three years I’ve waited and in those years, the Lord has prepared and equipped me with everything I will ever need. 

The Lord won’t fail you unless you’ve already learned your lesson.

I might have done a few shortcuts and of course, they haven’t taken me to where I should be. I asked the Lord for help but He adamantly replied no every time. Because, my way isn’t the right way. There is no shortcuts. The Lord wants me to undergo the whole process and not skip the steps. 

Value the fruits of your hard work and never rob God of His portion.

I never had second thoughts about giving money to anyone until I moved. It’s not that I didn’t want to give anymore but it dawned on me the value of every penny. It just kind of made me think if these people who “solicit” money from me even realize that I’m not picking it on the streets. Also, it’s strange how it becomes more difficult to give the 10% of your income when you start earning more. I struggled for quite a while but I remember God’s promise in Malachi 3:10, it says, “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” And no one really has ever become poor by giving.

Educating self is power. Stay curious.

It’s not who you are, it’s what you do.

I am not perfect. I am flawed and I can be stubborn sometimes. I argue with God. I ask Him a lot of “Why’s” and “Why not’s”. I hate to see myself like this but I learned to be honest with how I feel and tell God all about it. Because my understanding is limited but His has no end. Talk to God. He knows what’s in our hearts and minds but He responds to our prayers.

We have a great and loving God who sees the future. My prayer is for all to continue trusting Him despite the many tests that come our way. It’s easier to doubt but just think of how victorious we can be if we hold on to Him until eternity. 

Have a very blessed new year! :)

[narsdana]

2022, not 2020 too

How fast does time fly??? I could barely catch up.

Seeing so many deaths and mourning in a day for the past year has left me with a lot of heartbreaks and worrying. Worried not for myself, but for my family. I was weak and scared. I could only do so little to help. But then again, being the great Way Maker that He is, God has come to my rescue and made things a lot bearable and easier.

I was able to visit home more often and celebrate special occasions with loved ones. I laughed hard but somehow, I felt lonely too. Don’t get me wrong, I have the most amazing and beautiful people around me but the loneliness I feel is more personal. I think I am slowly drifting away from God and focusing on myself. Myself is empty that’s why I felt lonely. There.

Now, I hope to give up on satisfying my heart’s desire and to start seeking ways to please my God. I don’t want to waste any more years of indulging on temporal, meaningless, worldly things that would eventually ruin my life.

God is good. God is faithful. He was there, He is here, He will always be.

May everyone have a happy and fruitful 2022!

[narsdana]

2021, you’re here

The past year felt like forever.

COVID-19 happened and all of a sudden everything just seems to be uncertain. The world slowed down, literally. And I thought, okay, maybe God wants us to have a break too. Maybe, God saw how busy we’ve become and so He wants to reconnect with us. But first, He needed to disconnect us from ourselves. Proving again that we’re not capable, we are not self-sustaining and we need Him in our lives.

Adjusting to the new normal isn’t easy. We’re all affected with the changes. I, myself, have struggles especially that I’m currently living in the city (for work) and my family is in the province. Going home is very risky, however God make ways so I can still reunite with them.

God sure knows what He is doing. He always has an answer. He always has a purpose. And whenever I try to make a move on my own, I see myself on a different path. Then I realized that He’s leading me to a better place. A place I haven’t yet known.

Trusting God isn’t blindly believing in something bigger than mankind. It is seeing clearly a Father who loves His child. It gives us peace and assurance no one else can offer. So, I hope this year, despite of the many challenges we’ve faced because of the pandemic, we don’t lose our focus on Christ. Instead, may we be more eager to spend time with Him because the end is near. And it’s probably here now. I pray that we hold on to our faith until Christ comes to be with us again.

[narsdana]

What’s up, 2020?!

Wow! Another year to wrap up!

2019.. It was a year full of uncertainties. I still couldn’t imagine how I was able to emotionally handle it. I was mentally tortured, I was battling with my own thoughts and I couldn’t conquer my fears. It’s insane! I tell you. But, I felt A LOT better and relieved after overcoming them. How? *thinking.. Well..

First, I began with the decision to bravely accept what it is. There will be frustrations in life and questions unanswered but it’s okay because everything has a purpose. Second, I realized I deserve the best. No more compromises. No more settling for less. Third one, I learned to appreciate the people around me who TRULY cares. Having good friends and family, indeed, is a gift from above. Lastly, I boldly dream big dreams. Because Matthew 19:26 says, “..with God, all things are possible.” 

So..

Ye-hey! Another year to welcome!

My prayer is that may our hearts be filled with God’s love that it won’t have any place for hatred and sadness. I also pray that we all receive healing and that the scars serve as a reminder of how we fought with the faith we have in the Lord. I proved that He gives us so many reasons to be happy!

A blessed new year to all! :)

[narsdana]

Huwag kang masanay sa mali

We are mere human beings, yes, pero hindi yun excuse. It's not like wala akong ginawang mali sa tala ng buhay ko. It's not like never akong nakasakit ng ibang tao. But also, I am not saying na I wanted to do the wrong thing intentionally and be in the wrong situation or I wanted to hurt others. No. It breaks my heart whenever I lie, whenever nadi-disappoint ko friends ko, nagiging extra tamad ako sa work and kapag natataasan ko ng boses family ko. I'm not at ease and I always feel the need to apologize and to make up for my mistakes. To fix and make better, rather than escape, the mess where I am in. Most of the time nasasanay nalang tayo eh. Since everybody's doing "this and that", nagiging normal nalang kahit mali. Since "sayang", we are stuck to things and people na mas nagpapahirap satin kesa sa mas napapasaya tayo. I think na dapat we start to learn and make a conscious effort to correct it and do what's right. Why? Kasi the more we feed our minds with what is wrong and the more we tolerate and stay sa maling sitwasyon, the more it pollutes us and eventually destroys us emotionally. There is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. For everyone to eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil --- because this is the gift of God. (Ecclesiastes 3:12, 13) let's not put it to waste. Let us free ourselves from the bondage of sin. Huwag tayong masanay sa mali.

[narsdana]

Let go

It's understandable. To keep something and someone close to us so dearly as long as we can no matter how painful it gets is very understandable.

It's never easy. But how long can we hold on?

Well, some people stay in our lives and some are just passing by to bring us lessons. Oftentimes we get too attached and we get blinded by how we want things should be. It is the acceptance of what reality is that makes it very difficult. The fact that some things and some people are not just meant to stay in our lives forever causes a lot of frustration.

It's nevery easy. But we must let go.

If the time comes that we can't stretch a little more our limitations and if we finally learn to put our faith for better days, then we can let go. However, it will take a lot of bravery and determination before that happens. And when it finally does, we are set free from being slaves of whatever is stopping us to be happy.

Remember that God does not ask us to give up anything that would be for our good to retain. He has always bigger plans, better purpose for allowing things to happen.

Let go.

[narsdana]

Ironic isn't?

The richer you become, the poorer you feel.

No wonder why the Bible teaches us that the love of money is the root of all evil. (1 Timothy 6:10) Well, money itself is neither good nor bad. It is the "love" of it where all schemes of wrongdoings springs out.

The world has its ways to corrupt our minds and it's easy to just give in to it because why not?? It's pretty amazing down here when you have the money, you can do anything! You can be powerful!

Yet, my college professor once said in a sermon that the wealthiest men living aren't the happiest people. They have no peace of mind and they always worry of their money getting robbed. True enough, you cannot really be given everything. Unless you are contented with what you already have.

The Lord will provide, He always does. He knows what we need even before we ask Him. (Matthew 6:8)

So, let's put all our worries behind. Besides, we can't have anything in our tombs when we die.

[narsdana]

Palayain mo

Don't force anyone to stay in your life if he doesn't want to. Kung hindi na siya happy, let him be, even if it means leaving you. You don't own a person, you love him. And love is not selfish.

But being jealous is different. Even the Lord wants na maging faithful and loyal tayo Sakanya. He also feels jealous if we worship idols and bow down to other man-made gods. (Exodus 20:5) However, He is not forcing anyone to love Him back the way He loves us. Kasi that will ruin the true meaning of love. Kaya nga tayo binigyan ng Panginoon ng free will. We get to make our own choices. We get to do what we think can make us happy.

Right now, sobrang nagiging rare na ng pagiging "loyal" and "faithful". Cheating is becoming a trend. A lot has been questioning their value, a lot has been doubting in love. Nakakalungkot. It's their choice, wala akong right to judge them. But also, you have yours.

Whether or not you choose to forgive and accept a person who keeps on breaking his commitment and promises, it's up to you. Walang may gusto ng failed relationships and broken families. But I hope that you don't compromise your own happiness and self-worth para lang sa taong hindi ka naman pinapahalagahan. Stop allowing that person to question your love for him. Set your limits. And once you reach it then give him his freedom, palayain mo.

[narsdana]

And there she comes, wobbling her way towards her one and only. I watched as she stares at him and holds his hand so tightly.

Then I heard her whisper softly as she draws near, "Dad, I pray for you. I'm always here."

What a sight to witness! My heart melted. I couldn't help but shed a tear. This is love.. so beautiful, so pure, and so real.

For a moment I thought and asked myself if I can also be worthy.. of such great gift to humanity. If there exist also my one and only. I wonder if maybe somehow, someday, someone may also want to love me.

[narsdana]

When you cling to the words unspoken but you don't hear anything. The words you patiently await.. remain unspoken.

When you seek for the answers, but you never question. When you seek for clarity, but you only find confusion.

How valiant can you be? How forbearing?

When you see the end, but it's not there. That thing you yearn for.. it's not there since the beginning.

[narsdana]

Where else to go

Posting some of the many places I wish to visit coz it gives me thrills

MOUNT PULAG IN BENGUET

It's gonna be rocky, sweaty and windy but who wouldn't love this kind of sea?

FIREFLY WATCHING IN BOHOL/PUERTO PRINSESA

A dreamy vibe, away from the realities of life.

LANTERN FESTIVAL IN TAIWAN

I wanna see the sky illuminated!

 MILKYWAY SHOT IN TABLAS, ROMBLON

 (Credits to the owners of these photos.)

[narsdana]

Don't settle for just enough

I tend to say "okay na yan" even if I know things can still be better. I don't ask for anything more than what is given to me. I never complain. I am always thankful.

Until last night when I attended the prayer meeting at church, I was reminded that God is a good Giver. He encourages us to ask Him anything in prayer and if we believe, we shall receive it. (Matthew 21:22) It's a promise with a condition to trust His words. And to trust Him means we need to surrender. Surrender our doubts and worries.. surrender our pride, recognize our weaknesses, acknowledge God's greatness and let Him take control of everything.

It's an insult to God to underestimate His power to do what humans think is impossible. (Luke 1:37) Relying on ourselves is like neglecting His help. Sometimes, I feel ashamed because of my sins and it made me think I am undeserving and unworthy. Not having the right to ask the Lord of anything, I tell myself, "okay na yan", "at least meron", "pwede na 'to". But this shouldn't be the case. This mentality is wrong. Because this is exactly what the enemy wants to put in our minds. It's a LIE.

We ask the Lord not because we are faithful but because He is faithful. He is true to His promises and He wants us to claim it. But as we claim God's promises, we must also allow Him to do His will in our lives. We pray according to His purpose and not based on our desires. We ask not to question His love for us but because we are certain that He loves us.

His storehouse is bounty, and He will open the heavens to send us rain and bless the work of our hands. (Deuteronomy 28:12) He also plans for us to prosper, to give us hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) In His house are many mansions, but if it were not so, He will go and will prepare a place for us. (John 14:2) 

I don't understand why we deny ourselves of the privileges God is offering. His blessings are as vast as the ocean, we couldn't see it's end.

Dearest, why settle for just enough when you can have more than enough? Why not ask the Lord for a place on top during an exam? Why not ask the Lord for a better job? Why not ask Him for a better relationship? Why not ask Him to help you win more souls?

Taste and see that the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:8)

He can do everything for YOU.

[narsdana]

I couldn't be any prouder.

[narsdana]

Hello there, 2019!

I know this post is kinda late already, it's the second day of the new year but who caaaaares?! 😜

Hmmm.. let me start off with my decision to move out from my comfort zone early last year that brought me to where I am right now. I didn't know what I was thinking that time, I just felt like I need to do something different from my usual routine. And so, tadaaaaa! Who would have thought that I'd survive Manila? 😂 I never liked it here. I mean, just seeing how busy the people are makes me tired! Also, think of the smelly pathways and noisy buses, it's a scene I would never see in the province!

But still, I'm here. I have made new friends. Grew a lot in my profession. Became more independent. And most importantly, I gained back my trust in everything. I learned to FULLY rely on God again. And I stopped depending on myself.

Last year, 2018, was a challenging year for me. It made me realize a LOT of things. It broke me to pieces. It caused me to beg for something that wasn't really mine to own. It forced me to stay strong. It left me with so many questions. YET, the Lord took these as an opportunity to make me whole again. To make me feel complete despite my imperfections. He re-directed me. And now, I thank Him for reminding me of my purpose. That I don't only live to exist. But, I live to serve.

Indeed, genuine happiness can only be found in the Lord. He offers peace this world can never give. And He sends us love no one can ever compare with. I pray that we all have a forgiving heart from the pain we felt last year. So we can all move on to this year with a thankful heart from the lessons we learned from that the same pain we felt. Life is beautiful, if only we see the brighter side of it always. Happy new year! ❤🎉

[narsdana]

Bakit nandyan ka pa? Sabi mo lalayo ka na. Ang gulo mo rin eh. Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap kalimutan ka? Tama na. Isang taon na akong ganito. Isang taon ko ng niloloko ang sarili ko. Isang taon na akong umaasa sa wala. Kaya please, tama na. Palayain mo na ako. Para maghilom na 'tong puso ko. Wasak na nga eh, dinurog mo pa. Ang sabi mo lalayo ka na. Pero bakit nandyan ka pa?

[narsdana]

Cheers to 2018

As I bid 2017 good-by, I would like to reminisce once more how amazing it has been to my life. Before it started, I actually had no plans on travelling and going to new places for the first time. But it just happened and I’m glad it did!

Because of that, I was able to witness more of the Lord’s artwork in nature and appreciate the joy in simple things around me. It doesn’t really need to be costly, to be honest. We all just need some crazy friends beside us and a little bit of courage to do some scary-but-safe stuff. They’re not my thing, really. Jumping off the cliff, riding coasters and vikings, trekking and more.. Never did I imagine myself doing those. I thought my body built isn’t fit enough but I was wrong. I never knew I can be that brave until I decided to try becoming brave for real. It was fun and priceless. Everything I’ve experienced this year has made me even stronger. And I can’t be more grateful of our good Lord above for sustaining me up to this moment. I know I could have been better but still He hasn’t blessed me less.

A few minutes more and this year will close already, my year of “travel”. I will forever treasure the memories and the lesson that goes with it. And for the coming year 2018, I pray that we all continue to grow in faith so that we can move mountains before us. May we be filled with genuine happiness and have a heart that cares beyond what is expected. 

God bless us all!