narasizhui

[narasizhui]

WHY DOES HAVING BACKSTORY AND BROKEN MARRIAGE GIVE LORE HINTS??

@kani-miso

I found an old photo of you!!!

/j

[narasizhui]

FROM YOU??? THE LAST TIME I MADE A THEORY, I SAID THE DISAPPEARANCE WAS KOTOKO/JACKALOPE'S FAULT *SOBS* BUT DAYUM, YOU REALLY WENT AND BAKE A JUICY CAKE??? wait, a minute, it hit me that gif FUGUE Es remind me of...the AI Fugue Es being like stop screaming *cries* and idk what to do about that lmao

fugue au es analysis

@hectorthedoggo

with the recent chapter that dropped, i seriously wonder, why does their keyring get warmer at specific times?? i'm gonna make a mini analysis about some stuff i find interesting (route per route, chapter by chapter)

this is not exactly only about the keyring, i'm just dumping what i think about stuff i find interesting and informative

tw child neglect and child abuse

pst!!

red colored words= important but not about the keyring

bolded words=keyring information

italic words= reusing from fic

route 1: ch 1

‌Ugh, they just wanted an easy start to the day. This was quite the predicament. If only Jackalope was here; he would know what to do.

Es thought. Maybe Jackalope could find them here? Take them back to the tower, and reassure them that it would all be okay?

a sense of deja vu-

erm, is this more hints of what happened in the past? 'Maybe Jackalope could find them here? Take them back to the tower, and reassure them that it would all be okay?', i have constructed some sort of theory, they used to be in a physically abusive household and then got "saved" by jackalope (just for him to neglect them). 'If only Jackalope was here; he would know what to do.' many victims of abuse become touch starved, clingy and sometimes rely on their only support system (even if they're toxic). they become clingy because they have a deep fear on losing their only support system (jackalope atm). 'a sense of deja vu-' just supports the theory even further.

route 1: ch 2

‌It would honestly have been better if he yelled at them, or said it didn’t concern them. Now, that would be more comforting. A little taste of home.

Es was drifting off again, so they quickly snapped to attention to reduce the punishment. “Sorry!”

Mu looked at them with a pitying look. “You really are strange, aren’t you…”

Why weren't they mad?

'It would honestly have been better if he yelled at them, or said it didn’t concern them. Now, that would be more comforting. A little taste of home.' this is where the emotional abuse got implied (also more references to child neglect, not concerning for any other personal needs). emotional abuse involves verbal abuse, such as screaming, yelling, or swearing. such behaviors are attempts to gain power, and control and intimidate you into submission. being emotionally abused for a long period of time will cause the victim to normalize said behavior. es probably tried normalizing it from the very start, given that jackalope is 'a little'(/sar not a little) mean. they've normalized it so much it's comforting to get yelled at because it feels nostalgic, save them please.

'they quickly snapped to attention to reduce the punishment. “Sorry!” is this because they're canonically autistic in this au? they were wandering in their mind due to overwhelming thoughts that fill up their brain, and because of their past homelife, they were thought that they're not allowed to that. that's why they 'snapped back to reality' to reduce the punishment they'll receive. (i'm not well-versed in this topic so i apologize if i get anything wrong)

'why weren't they mad?' AGAUUGSUSUWHWHAHAH more of their normalization of emotional abuse, i'm so sad that this is what some actual victims feel when they get into better hands.

route 1 : ch 2

‌They didn’t feel whole without their keyring.

Es never really questioned the origin of the keyring, just knew that they should always have it, no matter what.

But, they decided to think about it, idiotically, so their head started throbbing. They let out a little pained yelp.

'They didn’t feel whole without their keyring.' they're keyring seems to be very important to them, and to think that the keyring is connected with jackalope.. jackalope technically became one of the most important things in es' life and they must pit all faith to him (referenced in route 2 : ch 3 'Jackalope would be mad if they put their complete faith in something else. Es looked away nervously.')

'they should always have it, no matter what.' i wonder if jackalope told them this or they told this to themselves. if they were to tell this to themselves, how do they know that they should always have it? so i'm pretty sure that it's jackalope himself who told them, no wonder they got so anxious when muu took their keyring.

'But, they decided to think about it, idiotically, so their head started throbbing. They let out a little pained yelp.' interesting! (how many times have i said this) maybe its because of their fear of jackalope, even though he's their guardian. they cling to him, like he's their savior, yet they're scared of him, like he's a monster. es living with jackalope also feels like an eggshell parenting situation.. eggshell parenting is when a guardian is very much unpredictable which causes the child to be highly anxious and highly hypervigilant in order to protect themselves in an unsafe enviroment. jackalope can sometimes just make es emotionally constipated and neglect their physical needs or be the devils in your nightmares.

route 2: ch 1

‌'Other humans humans had been a mystery to them for a while, and they didn’t remember if they had ever interacted with one other than the 4 they had encountered recently.

Their keyring felt warm against their clothes, as if trying to remind them of something.

But remind them of what?'

i'm pretty sure the keyring got warmer because of the mention of 'other humans', and i think its related to jackalope. jackalope has stated that he dislikes other humans that are not es. and seems like they maybe had interacted with other humans before, as 'they didn’t remember if they had ever interacted with one other than the 4 they had encountered recently'. their memories are erased so they wouldn't know what happened to them in the past, although i have a suspicion on what happened (i'll explain later on).

route 2: ch 2

‌'They wondered why being scary wasn’t a crime. A crime, huh? Did that have relevance to them? What-

Jackalope would say something about how ‘it didn’t concern them’, and-

They lost their train of thought and tried to dig up the freshly derailed train from the quicksand.

Has this happened before?

Es sometimes wondered when their birthday was, but asking Jackalope would only prompt a lecture from him.

There was a warm feeling on their neck, a key pulsing warm against their uniform. Wait, uniform, why-

Why did they feel like crying? Nothing bad had happened, right?

i wonder, does the cut off words (e.g: what-, and-, why-) reference the neglection they faced before? uninvolved parents (guardians) make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful. neglectful guardians cut off/dismiss the childs questions and needs or anything beyond the basics of food, clothing, and shelter. 'Es sometimes wondered when their birthday was, but asking Jackalope would only prompt a lecture from him.' one word, neglect.

'There was a warm feeling on their neck, a key pulsing warm against their uniform. Wait, uniform, why-' the fact they used uniform instead of clothes (Their keyring felt warm against their clothes, as if trying to remind them of something.) is rather interesting, i just felt like pointing that out. the fact that they, themselves are also confused on why they're wearing a 'uniform'. uniform is the distinctive clothing worn by members of the same organization or body or by children attending certain schools, but they're not in any organization nor schools. and again, back to topic, they're keyring got warm again by the mention of jackalope, their supposed guardian.

'Why did they feel like crying? Nothing bad had happened, right?' (es pls just cry its ok) usually children of neglectful guardians feel like its their own fault for being 'needy', they feel like theyre in the wrong for being 'ungrateful' because their basic needs are already fufilled. all children needs to have atleast one person to be their emotional support, but es has no one. neglect causes the child to have an empty place in their heart, the one that harbors love and affection (omg no wonder 'missing, missing'-kikuo, fits them!1!1!)

route 2: ch 3

‌… what were they thinking? These people had been nothing but nice to them, and this is what they traitorously thought. She would find out they thought that, and, and-

They wouldn’t want to remember it. They could forget it, forget it all.

istg if this references past instances. 'These people had been nothing but nice to them, and this is what they traitorously thought.' man, victims of neglect are usually hard on themselves for being doubtful and having anxiety. according to google, it can be difficult to balance self-preservation with paranoia, leading someone to make negative assumptions and behave fearfully. for emotional abuse victims, they may question the true and good intentions of others, because of the damaging and confusing nature of their abuse.

'She would find out they thought that, and, and-' paranoia are usually found in children who has a history of getting abused, so this just confirms the abuse theory even further. but, what type of abuse did they endure? in my opinion, i think they endured emotional abuse, physical abuse, neglect, and domestic abuse, and child exploitation (< only based of off the information we have at the moment)

route 3 : ch 1

‌'Es felt like there was something big about them that they just couldn’t remember at the moment. felt like there was something big about them that they just couldn’t remember at the moment. Something instrumental to themself.

Thinking about it just gave them a headache, so they stopped; it felt so close, though. Their keyring felt warm against their neck, like a comforting, familiar collar.'

'Es felt like there was something big about them that they just couldn’t remember at the moment.' maybe, just maybe the big thing is about jackalope (idk what else would it be). especially that the fact they couldn't remember, them, in this fic, usually just buries the thoughts that make them feel sick and pains them (sure its something big about 'them', but they technically made jackalope into one of their most important things about themselves).

'Thinking about it just gave them a headache, so they stopped; it felt so close, though.' see? they do bury those thoughts that pains them. 'it felt so close, though' if its not jackalope i don't even know at this point. jackalope became one of the closest people to es. he's literally the only person es knew ever since they woke up, ofcourse they would be close to him.

'Their keyring felt warm against their neck, like a comforting, familiar collar.' this actually made me have hope that jackalope sometimes actually comfort them. 'familiar collar', either they're so used to seeing the keyring every single day, or jackalope. after all, jackalope's the only person they're actually familiar with, right?

route 3 : ch 1

‌'An occupation, huh? Did they have one? Their neck was warmer than usual.

The conflict ripped through them, as their instinctive thought was yes , but that was a baseless thought. However, it felt right on the tip of their tongue, like a word’s definition.'

'Their neck was warmer than usual.' no mention of the keyring, have they forgotten about the keyring(jackalope)?

'The conflict ripped through them, as their instinctive thought was yes , but that was a baseless thought.' why did they think of yes? did they previously have a job before getting "rescued" by jackalope? or is it just their instincitual desire by the id? probably, as their name es=id.

here's a reward for reading this. ily/p. i will go back to yappington

[narasizhui]

Roasted Rabbit- oops, I mean Jackalope recipe!!!: Ingredient: -Jackalope -Fire Tornado -Butter -Seasonings (Rosemary, Salt, Pepper, Muu, you get it!) Instructions: -Find firey torando. It has to be- NO, NO, LISTEN TO ME, IT HAS TO BEEEE > spinning at 23945867 mph > at 485 degrees CELSIUS -Butter up ur Jackalope and seasoned him. -Throw him in and enjoy the sound of music, the beauty of a devil's cry -Record and dance to the melody -Eventually, Burnt Jackalope should come out, with smoke and very very aromantic (????) smelling -BON APPETIT Tip: better served in soup and with super duper not expired way too expensive pudding

am i valid milgramblr

[narasizhui]

AMAZING, FANTASTIC, BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED!!!! *SOBS* WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD?!?!?!

i realized i dont really have a consistent style for drawing noelle, so i decided to experiment a bit

take a wild guess at which one i ended up liking the most :3

[narasizhui]

man, leave john alone, he be trying his best it's not his fault he only exist for 5 minutes in one day ૮(˶╥︿╥)ა

chips

is john an idiot

[narasizhui]

I NEED TO MAKE AT LEAST 500 DOLLARS IN 2 MONTHS OR I DONT KNOW HOW ILL SURVIVE MOVING OUT.

im delilah and im an openly queer plural tgirl living in a shitty homophobic place in texas, and im going to be kicked out on june 1, 2024.

that means if you see this post before june 1, 2024, there is still time to help me. please.

hey yall. this is probably gonna be one of the last posts about this, since im running out of time. because of @punkitt-is-here's super awesome kind reblog, i managed to make about 500 dollars, bringing me up to 1500, but after that things have slowed down to nearly nothing again. thank you to everyone that has donated, i appreciate it more than you could know, and thank you to the handful of famous people who reblogged and gave me a shitload of exposure.

im not sure if making 500 dollars in the next 2 months is going to be like.. possible. and after all the research ive been doing, im honestly not completely confident that 2000 dollars is going to be enough. im hoping that ill be able to pay for a few months of rent at once, so that im more likely to be able to get a place without already having a job in abq. so right now, my goal is basically "crowdfund as much as i possibly can so i dont have to live on the streets"

im hoping for a miracle right now. maybe, under the right circumstances, that could be you. maybe you just got paid and you dont have anything to use the paycheck on, maybe you have a bunch of savings that you could spare a portion of, i dont know, but god, i could really use as much kindness as i can find right now.

thank you to all the people who have helped already, i appreciate it more than you could know, and im hoping it helps me survive.

[narasizhui]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, THE BIG TALK!!!

uh uh chapter where they both find each other's secrets and chill. Dialogue heavy, I may write more fluff later but not rn. I'm gonna go take a walk :D

also this fic was inspired by @kani-miso sfajlkjfsdaiojwe

[narasizhui]

GUYS, FOR ANY CUTE DUMDUM WHO READ THE MILGRAM NOVELS -SPOILERS ALERTS- In the first Milgram Novel, some of the characters were dead Pre-Milgram (E.g: the warden, Es (really, MILGRAM???), Real Name: Kogami Sumi and her stalker that I wish went off) and they're all connected to the warden in a sense of they are associated with her directly or indirectly (through someone else, totally not looking at prisoner of self-pleasure) In the 2nd Milgram Novel, all the prisoners have a common theme of Justice (with the warden, Es, real name: Himori Touchi, who wanna do for others what Sumi did for him (so in a sense of justice too, maybe?)) So what do Es (they/them Es) and the prisoners of the Musical project have in common other than you cannot judge their actions in Black-and-White rigid thinking? And in Novel MILGRAM, the 1st one, everyone who has forgotten their memories were associated with one person...but cannot be said the same for the 2nd Novel because everyone has their memories. But for MUSICAL Project Es, who forgot...has to be associated with someone's crime if it was like the Novel. My only question is who...?

[narasizhui]

John tryna be Mikoto level patient: *sigh* Yes, Es, what is it now? Es who is learning to be more open: *awkward* I JUST SHAT MASSIVE AND NOW THE TOILET WON'T FLUSH John: w h a t (in the end, they ended up waiting for Mikoto-)

what if when milgram ends, all of the prisoners (including es) live in the same house together

johnes sibling post

[narasizhui]

please- it feel so refreshing to see them have emotional talking and brotherhood *sobs*

I REALLY WISH ES AND MIKOTO ARE RELATED RN-

should i continue making johnes sibling posts ?

[narasizhui]

AND WE SHALL POLITELY EAT IT MAY NOT BE THE BEST BUT IN THE END, WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEANS AND TOGETHER, WE WILL RICE LETTUCE PRAY RAMEN -Sizhui

ahaha hi guys so tech week ate me and left no crumbs and I had shows (i also ate and left no crumbs [at what cost]). guess what I also had. Downtime. guess what I made lmao

anyways it's a fic abt the care after Es gets their shit rocked by John. but the medical stuff is offhanded idk

this aint my best work but its food so uh enjoy ig

[narasizhui]

amazing

so uhmm,,, my last milgram doodles post seems to have garnered quite some attention, and i havent really posted in a while, so have these doodles! (plus a lil something my friend gave me that i wanna show yall :3 )

[narasizhui]

If he was like this the whole time, nobody would take him seriously lol #milgram #es

Hi Beans, I’m finally here. Diluting the sad with fun and very OOC.

I don’t really have a lot of ideas about what to write, but I remembered that I shared my idea of Es with the chivalrous Argenti's personality. So. AU in a vacuum (maybe an actors AU, maybe not), where Es thought that it would be funny to surprise the prisoners with the behavior of a knight(maybe Jackalope came up with that idea, maybe just strange sense of humor). What about the prisoners' reactions? (gallantry and compliments to plants attached) I think Mahiru would have joined the drive even if she didn’t really understand what happened. Fuuta would probably say "ugh, cringe" and that would make him a great target for the rest of the day.

YESS ahahaha, this is such a fun idea! I wrote a little scene with a few characters, but honestly it's hysterical picturing any of them trying to figure out how to react to this new and sparkling Es... I went for a version where not even Jackalope was prepared, but I can certainly see him suggesting something crazy like that to shake things up omg. Thank you so much for the request! The original meme was made by Mug, and I couldn't help but do a doodle myself ✨🌹

Amane was the first to witness it. She fled as soon as possible, finding sanctuary in the common room. The others were surprised as she stumbled in, face pale and eyes wide. Very little could frighten the girl; it was not a good sign.

Yuno moved to comfort her. “What’s wrong?” 

Her eyes went distant with the harrowing memory. “It’s Es,” was all she said. 

“Did they do something cruel?”

“No. Worse.” Amane shivered. “They were… nice.”

“They were what?”

Amane opened her mouth, but paused at the sound of heels clicking down the hallway. 

She stiffened. “If you need me you can find me in my cell.” She disappeared as quickly as she came. The others, who had been listening in on the odd conversation, gaped after her. They tried to piece together what had been so unsettling. Still, Es’ boots approached. 

All eyes landed on the doorway. 

And Es appeared. They looked very normal. Jackalope hopped up behind them. All shoulders sagged in relief. Es surveyed the room, slightly surprised to find everyone staring. 

Then, they smiled. 

It was a genuine, bright smile. The blue-gray of their eyes sparkled with a new light. Their lips parted to release a lighthearted laugh, unlike anything the prisoners had heard from them before.

They glided through the room, heels clicking lightly behind them until they came to Muu. The others stood frozen in place.

Es swept their cape aside with a grand flourish of their arm. They held both her hand and her gaze with warmth.

“Why, hello, Muu! You’re looking as positively lovely as always. Has this fine morning treated you well?”

“Um…” She looked to everyone, her face pleading for a little guidance. They were too busy looking eagerly to her in astonishment. “Uh… yes?”

“I’m pleased to hear it.” They reached behind themself. The room let out a soft gasp as they produced a pale pink flower from underneath their cape.

“For you, my dear.”

They didn’t wait for her to finish stuttering a confused ‘thank you’ before they turned to whoever was standing closest. Mahiru’s own face lit up as Es turned their glimmering gaze her way. Fuuta scoffed, muttering something about this being the lamest, cringiest thing he’d witnessed. Es pretended not to hear.

“Shiina Mahiru… a smile like yours is rare to find in a place like this. I thank you for it.” They pinched their chin and angled their head, thinking. “The meaning of your name has to do with light, correct?” 

She nodded, unable to keep the giddiness from her face. The others watched as Es moved their glove behind once more. Surely there was no room for any more flowers hidden there…

Surely they were all mistaken – Es flicked their wrist to present a small gathering of yellow blooms.

“Something radiant for someone as bright as you.”

She fell over herself with gratitude and giggles. She tried to tuck it into her hair, and Mikoto stepped over to help her. The pair raised their eyebrows at each other in disbelief. 

This time, Es retrieved their gift before turning to their next victim. A classic red rose. They caught a prisoner’s gaze. 

“Oh, no. Nope. No way.” Fuuta held up his hands, as if it could ward them off. “I don’t want your stupid-ass flowers.” 

“Now, now, I see you’re playing hard to get, as usual.” They brushed their thumb along the thorny stem. “You know, the rose has a very similar approach.”

Fuuta’s face now matched the flower’s color. “Wha–” He stumbled backward, then took off running to the door. “I don’t know what weird mind games you’re trying to pull, but I’m staying out of it!” 

Es only clicked their tongue gently when he disappeared. “Always making things difficult, that one. All part of his charm, I suppose.” 

They followed to the entrance. Turning briefly, they flashed their smile once more.“It was wonderful to see you all! I will await our next meeting eagerly.” 

With a fluttery wave, they vanished. 

Everyone’s attention shot to Jackalope, who had paused in the doorway. No one could understand his voice, but his little rabbit face seemed to say, Hey, don't look at me. I have no fucking idea.

[narasizhui]

YO, THIS IS SICK

[narasizhui]

If Traveler woke up in Snezhaya

I’m curious, guys, if Traveler woke up somewhere in Snezhaya instead of Mondstadt like canonically, how much would this change? Firstly, I think Traveler would be part of Fatui. Strange, but not unexpected. After all, it’s clear the Fatui have influence and people pretty much all over the nations. Yes, even at Inazuma, given that we saw Signora as a Snezhayan representative. Even as a close nation, you cannot avoid politics or interactions with other countries, it will come back to you. But let’s speak about the first person who met traveler? I’d like to think it’s a certain child we babysit. Yes, you get it, Teucer. At a young age, Teucer is adventurous and hold courage to go across the seas (I mean, dude went to Liyue by himself) and this lead him to meeting Childe. (C’mon, the Snezhaya aren’t that stupid, they have 11 harbingers instead of 7. I like to think it’s so that they can cover more area of work (E.g: Signora has been in all three nations we seen, but we saw Childe in Liyue as well and Scaramouche in Inazuma) However, since traveler isn’t in Mondstadt, who would deal with all the struggle and importantly, what happened to PAIMON? (She died- just kidding, let pretend she met Venti). Ok, the Fatui has influence everywhere so I expect traveler to be sent as another delegate to be in charge to prove their loyalty to the Tsarita or whatever her name is. 

What do you think, guys?

[narasizhui]

A certain someone said make Kaito run fast like sonic, I was confused anyways so I made Soni- *cough* I MEAN, KAITO-

[narasizhui]

When I was reading that wonderful oumota fanfic, I’ve made a bet.

Only today I saw those requests for the bet I stupidly lost

so to us guys, f u.

Fanfic: watt pad, the loveliest of lies, Oumota.