naderneoissa

[naderneoissa]

Grasping Unto Hope

There’s no denying that these are challenging times, everyone seems to be acknowledging that. With a pandemic, a dividing upcoming election and state wide protests, things don’t seem on the more uplifting side this year, despite the potential for this being a game changing year for myself and many others. Now more than ever I find myself being challenged by the more cynical and darker side of myself against my usual self who grasps unto every positive aspect of every experience. 

Back in April, when the Covid pandemic first really broke out, I felt like I had many things to accomplish, which I was able to. It felt like a great time to hunker down and do all sorts of small important tasks that could benefit me, but after 3 months, time seems to pass and I don’t feel like I'm capable of accomplishing much of what I initially set out to do this year. Even as I'm writing this, I'm attempting to find some inspiration within myself to take new approaches to change my life somehow. If only I could tap into the same hunger I felt back in Egypt, before I had started my journey in the US. 

Everything I had taken part of and experienced the past couple of years felt like they were leading to something that would’ve altered a part of my life forever, and yet when the pandemic broke, everything just came to a halt and the question for me became ‘what new approach could I take?’ (not to mention, how am I going to afford rent?). 

I always consider each month to be a new chapter, it might sound amusing but I feel that when I think of time as chapters, each one could bring something different; new challenges, experiences, self-revelations, changes, among many other things. See even though I'm confined to a few places, there’s a world of thoughts, ambitions, doubts, fears and excitement in myself the entire time. Sometimes my own self-awareness and thoughts can be daunting, but I never really believed ignorance is a bliss, because I'd rather have all my cards on the table and figure things out from there. Life always seems to bring new chapters.

[naderneoissa]

My Experience with Anxiety

It’s been four month into the pandemic quarantine and I've been through a rollercoaster of emotions, I feel more alone than ever and being someone who truly relishes on new experiences, this feels more stifling than ever. Being in one place for a long period of time, isn’t easy on anyone, but what I'm struggling with is not having a home of my own and having no sense of purpose. There are certain emotional experiences that I can vividly recall, like having my first  heartbreak, and now I feel like I'm emotionally aware of my first experience with anxiety. 

I always take pride in having that drive that makes me capable of pursuing challenges and pursuits outside of my own comfort zone, but what I'm least comfortable with is being stuck in my own sense of self. I feel that burning desire to work, to accomplish and to be driven with purpose. Right now, my mind feels scattered, it feels like I’m drained and not motivated enough to accomplish anything creative. 

2020 has been a tumultuous year and it’s hard to imagine things being any more complex than they are. With BLM protests amping up the tensions in the states, along with the coming election, not to mention the Covid pandemic that took the world by storm. All the things that are leading to this stressful state I'm in, along with the personal stress of having to accomplish the things I set out to do. 

Having a clock ticking everyday and feeling like the days are sliding by, without a sense of purpose or accomplishment is taking an emotional toll on me. While I figured that no one ever reads this and likely never will, I thought I'd just write what I feel in the hopes that I would be able to process these emotions. 

I’ve always both Loved and Hated change but this most recent change of where I live has left me more homesick than ever. I feel out of place with roommates who hardly make any effort to be hygienic or compatible to live with. Which makes me feel like I have the desire to burst out of my own shell and experience something completely new and life altering. Since I feel like everything I’m experiencing right now, is a result of being at a standstill and not being able to develop or grow through new experiences. 

I think I'm constantly hesitant to admit to myself that right now, I'm not really happy, since I've dreamt of leaving Egypt (my actual place of origin) my entire life and now two and a half years into living in the United States, I'm conflicted as to whether or now I want to keep staying or if I've exhausted my recourses and reached the end of my journey. 

[naderneoissa]

Reflection

This will be my first journal entry in about 6 months and safe to say there’s allot that occurred in my life since then. While I'm never entirely sure if anyone will every come across any of those journal entries, Today was a day I thought I'd reflect on the past meaningful events of the past 6 months. Which began with me moving from city to another for a fresh start and a new job, I had been very reluctant to make that decision, but ultimately decided to pursue it, since it felt like it could bring about a new chapter to my life. 

In that regard, it most definitely had and with a new job, comes many new learning experiences. Throughout then I learned more than ever of what I was capable of and what I still needed to improve upon on a personal level. However, with new experiences, comes many new challenges, and one of those challenges was finding a place to call home, which I struggled incredibly with and while I was thriving at the job I was given and was constantly proving myself and earning the position I was in, I couldn’t for the life of me, find a place to settle. Three months pass and wouldn’t you know it, what seemed like a curse, turned out to be a blessing, because that new job did not last. 

While the reasons behind that job not lasting is a story that warrants a separate post, it ultimately lead to me heading back to Orlando. During my stay in Clearwater, a motel became my home for the entirety of the month. Which in all honesty, I had really enjoyed. Those long 2 mile walks to work in the early morning, might’ve been tedious for some but became a chance to start my day with different music. I think personally, some part of me just always grasps unto the good of every outcome or experience I have.

Feels like I constantly have to endure going the extra mile with every choice and decision I make, but for whatever reason, I simply always feel like I'm becoming stronger as a result of it. The job I had done, while only lasted a couple of months, was a truly prime experience of self-growth. Since I certainly made a few mistakes along the way, I also came to realize that I'm now, more than ever, capable of adapting, doing whatever task I'm provided and becoming likable. 

They say in the film industry, you should never expect a pat on the back, since everyone’s job on set is just as crucial to the final product as yours. And yet, I was constantly receiving recognition for standing out among those who came before me, I felt like all my experiences had been finally payed off. Alas, you can’t get along with everyone and sometimes, despite doing the utmost you can do, some will just only focus on only what haven't done. Along the way though, I came to realize that I’m capable of pushing my own limits, capable of capturing the attention of everyone in a room with what I have to share and finally capable of adapting to whatever life throws my way.

Which brings us to mid-March / April, when the Corona virus hit the US hard! At that point I was crashing on a friend’s couch, obviously had no job and really no idea of where my life would take me the next few months, but one thing I knew was that I constantly had to be moving at a forward momentum and I knew I had to accomplish something at every chance I got. I knew that everything that was transpiring was out of my hand and all I could do, was make the most of the time I was given. 

So far, I've taken steps to learn a new language, re-immersed myself back into studying what I love most; film, and lastly, invested my time into collecting what I love and making a profit out of what I'm most passionate about. The quarantine is still in-effect as I'm writing this, but there’s nothing to stop me for accomplishing more this month, starting with this journal entry of reflection.

[naderneoissa]

The Chapter’s Decision

Every time something eventful happens in my life, I think of it in terms of a narrative. Almost like a chapter in a book that’s constantly being written with each passing day. This time around, I have a decision to make on whether to embark on a new journey or not. On one hand, everyone that I value and is close to me is making the argument that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, while my gut is telling me that there’s something on the horizon that would be much more career defining. 

That decision would mean a new chapter in my life and a significant change as well, which makes me doubt myself of whether that gut feeling is my instinct telling me to be patient for something more substantial or if it’s my fear of change that’s getting to the better of me. While I can see very clearly the pros somehow outweigh the cons, I still believe that there’s a more significant turn of events that might occur and I’m conflicted as to whether or not trust myself or trust those I love.

Soon enough either I will start a new chapter of my life or I will patiently wait for 2020 to come about for the real turning chapter of my life to truly begin. One way or another 2020 will be the beginning of an entirely new chapter of my life.

[naderneoissa]

The Change of Cinema

Films have changed and the Cinema experience has changed accordingly. A year and a half ago, I was more than content with watching modern day blockbusters that are effects heavy and driven only a formulaic story and hits every narrative beat that most audiences have become all too familiar with. But as I started learning more about film and taking part in the filmmaking process of various short films, I began to revisit modern classics such as Gladiator, Titanic and Road to Perdition, and what stood out to me the most is the dying art of practical filmmaking. 

Visual effects have proven to be a blessing and a curse, as VFX is capable of bringing worlds that spawn from imagination to reality and when blended with practical effects, it often results in the creation of the most immersive worlds. Yet, in the last decade or so, filmmakers have become so dependent on visual effects that has completely dominated the blockbuster landscape and rather than building the worlds with grand storytelling and characterization, much in the same way Lord of the Rings, HellBoy or Gladiator had, and by blending practical effects and strong production design with visuals, rather than being solely depended on visuals much like the more recent blockbusters.

Looking back at some films that I'm most nostalgic about, I look back at films released in the early 2000′s, when VFX had not taken Hollywood by storm just yet. Filmmakers at the time had more creative control over large tentpole films and there was a much needed desire by filmmakers to build the sets, costumes and props they were going to use for their films. 

Being a profound fan of the character Spider-Man, I cannot help but compare something as seemingly simple as the costume of the original Raimi films to the modern MCU spider-man. Since the former was actually designed, fabricated and worn by the Tobey Maguire, rather than the mo-cap suit worn by Tom Holland that was entirely digitally rendered for the character. It simply takes away from the believability that this is a relatable character.

As I’ve recently began re-watching films like The Last Samurai, Gladiator and Road to Perdition, I began to realize that there was something inherently missing with films released today, something the world sorely needs and that’s heart. Growing up and watching films from the late 90′s and early 2000′s, I constantly felt moved and inspired by the characters and stories. 

Films made much more of an effort to make you feel something and move or inspire you, it’s hard to describe but films felt more intimate and personal. Films felt harder to make, the craftsmanship was more evident and the stories made you feel like you’ve been through a journey by the end of them. Characters had more depth, they were more flawed and they provided actors more depth to their performances. Through each character’s journey, they’re beaten, bruised and bloodied, and have overcome so much hardship and by the time they’ve reached the end of their journey, it feels earned. 

All of that change that cinema has gone through, has been a result of the times changing as well. As the country have become more and more divided and cynical about hope and indifferent about other people’s journeys and their hardships. They say that films are a reflection of their time, well I hope that no longer becomes the case, because at times like these, we need films that make us feel. That shake us to our very core and takes us on journeys, we need more than spectacle or distractions, the world needs more heart than ever.

[naderneoissa]

A Captivating Experience

Film is passion. Those are the words I utter more often than anything, since there’s nothing I've ever found myself more passionate about than film. There are so many aspects of film to fall in love with and there's a reflection of character that resonates with film as well. I can't imagine the person I would be today had film not been part of my life, as my passion for film led me to invest all my money and time to travel and experience the world of filmmaking. 

Along the way I’ve met people who changed how I see film forever and encouraged me to expand my horizons. Since prior to coming here, I was more compelled by Blockbuster films than any other genre. Now I’ve set out to grasp and experience every genre of film, while still maintaining my passion for the films I hold most dear and at such high regard. Yet I needed to experience films and become captivated the only way you could, through a theater experience.

I was fortunate enough to encounter a colleague and a friend who became a mentor to me, who had provided me on so much insight about film and challenged me to see films in a deeper way and to no longer be a causal audience member and watch films as a filmmaker with close observation and break down of various film elements. I believe that we all encounter a mentor at one point of our lives or another and I was fortunate enough that my mentor had become one of closest friends throughout the time I had been stateside. 

Now at a point when I had felt lost in which Direction I'm meant to take post graduation. I was invited to that mentor’s home to experience a Home Theater unlike any other. This week I have been revisiting iconic films and films I am most passionate about and with every film I’m reminded of why Film has been part of me for as long as I could remember.

[naderneoissa]

[naderneoissa]

Part of the Journey is the End

Almost two years ago, I made the decision to pursue a career I had dreamt about since I was 8 years old, yet for myself it was much more than just a career, it was a passion! Film has been an integral part of who I am today, as characters I loved would end up defining who I would become and stories would spark my imagination and inspire me to create my own. 

However, when I became a few years older, I would watch how those stories and characters were brought to life on screen and I was enamored by the craftsmanship, creativity and hard work that made me believe there was a park full of Dinosaurs or a human-cyborg sent from the future or a man who could crawl on walls. I was hooked and I knew I needed to become a part of that collective vision and bring my own passion to a film set. 

Fast forward 10 years and I'm on a flight to a continent I had never been to and pursing a Master’s Degree in what I've always dreamt of becoming, a filmmaker.  The day my plane landed here, was the day my life irrevocably changed forever; it had been the start of a new chapter, a new home and some of the most character defining life experiences I’ve ever had.  However, the hardest part of pursuing my dream was the compromise I had to make, was learning to let go of my comfort zone and saying Goodbye to my family and friends, knowing I couldn't rely on anyone but myself. 

Yet, everything that came thereon out was far from an easy path. As one challenge to overcome came after another; from locating a place to call home, to finding a job to sustain a living, to finally adapting to the culture around me. Despite having such a westernized upbringing, nothing could prepare me for how much I had to learn, and changing into someone who could grasp every new experience. 

As my journey picked up momentum, I made my fair share of mistakes, the most notable being my ignorance and my stubbornness against anything that went against what I had been taught before. Yet, by then I had made just enough good friends to guide me in becoming more self aware, as they pointed out how I needed to learn to listen more, talk less and become humble. 

While those were only a fracture of what I needed to learn in order to improve as a filmmaker and as a person, they were the guide of every step forward. Despite making more mistakes along the way; such as not focusing enough on what I came here to do and not acting maturely with my own finances, they paved the way to firing on all cylinders with the start of this year and doing everything I could to improve every aspect of my own journey. 

So I got a new job, focused on getting on every project and learning every position I could and most importantly, listening to everything my instructors and peers were attempting to teach me. As I took on my job as Tour Guide and became a representative of the school, it began dawning to me that I had been changing and improving as a person, by becoming someone much more approachable and confident, which would translate on set as well.

Now I had finally gotten to the point where I was approached to be on other projects outside of my own and taking on various new responsibilities, becoming a jack-of-all-trades in the process and learning how to do almost every position on set, which led me to finally feel confident enough to call myself a Filmmaker. 

Overall, this had been a transformative year, I no longer had rose-colored glasses or felt the need to pretend to be someone I’m not or ever felt lost on what I'm meant to do. In a single year, I became so much more than I could’ve ever anticipated, I now understand film and the fundamentals of every position like I never had before, and most notably, my love and passion for film had been reignited and cemented as something that’s part of me!

With my final days as a Tour Guide and a student here, I attempt to enlighten potential students and anyone who has a spark of passion for their craft, every essential lesson I had learned from my time here. Taking action in my education was the most vital move I had made and I make sure every student I come across is aware of the importance of that. 

This is by far the most character defining chapter of my life and as much as I dread the unknown, I'm also thrilled by the potential of what my future holds. As I aspire to always become the best version of myself, I will take on every experience I can get to grow as a filmmaker and improve as a person. Since now more than ever, I know I have the capacity to accomplish that, and every step I take forward, I take as a more confident and capable filmmaker and a humble and more self-aware individual. 

I am who I am today because of the passion I have for my craft, the love and support of my family and friends, and all the experiences I had along the years. Now as I venture off to a new start, with the end of this chapter of my life, I'm going to explore every opportunity I can possibly get that could get me closer to my ultimate dream of Directing my own films. I have stories and experiences that I the desire to share with as many people as I possibly can, through my own characters and narratives, and lead a crew with a vision with the intent of making films that inspire others to pursue their own dreams someday and go on their own journey.

[naderneoissa]

Overcoming Life Challenges

This month has been a long one and undoubtedly one of the most challenging months on an academic level as well as a personal one. Despite really looking forward to Hall of Fame, things took a turn when drama came knocking on my door from all different directions, whether it be family drama, misguided financial decisions, or conflicts at work. There was also the challenge of attempting to figure out which direction I should to take post-graduation, rather than remaining the Jack-of-all-trades I am.

I knew that when things took a turn for the worst or for the harder, it happened all at once. So, I chose to make the most out of this month to the best of my ability, and it’s difficult because certain kind of conflict and drama can bring out the worst in you, in my case, becoming a constantly frustrated person. Yet, this was an opportunity for me to grow and really try to grasp the most positive outcome of every experience I have.

I took the opportunity to take advice from career development on which direction I should actually take post graduation, and despite it being so obvious, I came to realize that my experience as an Editor back home, could very well be the opportunity I seize to get into the film Industry.

I believe I have just enough talent, drive and passion to become part of the film Industry, only I need to figure out how which department would allow me to grow on a faster pace. Since time is very much against me, I have the added challenge of having to prove myself just enough to be noticed.

One thing I’ve found out this month as well, was that I’m capable of learning on the spot and grasping things rather quickly, since I was able to tackle on a Script Supervisor position on an Independent project and getting praised for doing my job efficiently, despite not having any prior experience in the position. As well as really leaving an impression as a Stage Manager for Hall of Fame, enough to even to asked to lead my own panels and be provided the opportunity very few students had.

I know I also made my fair-share of mistakes this month, mainly as a result of the pressures and frustrations that I had to deal with. I made some very misguided financial decisions that I had not done in some time and I also burned some bridges that took some time to build back. However, I have figured out that much like a sculpture, I’m being molded at this stage of my life and I’m very much malleable and every experience is shaping me into the person I’m meant to be.

Everyday I get closer the Journey’s end, I realize just how far I’ve come and how much more I still have to learn. Since on an Academic level, I found out just how much there is to learn if you dedicate time and effort into understanding everything there is to know about filmmaking. I was fortunate enough to have an instructor who was not only knowledgeable, but also very down to earth, which made him that much more approachable in order to take his advice on how to improve as an Editor.

I have every intention of making the most of every experience I get and making everyday count! I’ve been fortunate enough to have experience I had never had prior to making the decision that would forever change my life. I know that I work with heart and I know those around seem to notice and appreciate it. I always thought of myself as a Fighter, even prior to my Boxing days, and now I’m fighting through whatever hardships life throws at me, because I know I’m capable of overcoming whatever obstacles and challenges life has for me.

I have a dream and a destiny of becoming a filmmaker and there’s nothing that I could come up against that would prevent me from doing what I love most. I’ve compromised so much and worked damn hard for so long, and especially this past year, to ever give up. I do miss my loved ones and his has been a lonely journey, but nothing could prevent me from fighting on and becoming someday the Director I’ve always aspired to be. As I live and breathe film everyday, Filmmaking will always remain who I am and what I’m meant to do.

[naderneoissa]

The Challenges of Production

After a month of Pre-production and many more months of working on other thesis projects, the month came when I’d be working on my own and becoming that much closer to graduation by the end of it. I knew going into this project that I had to make the most out of this experience since it had been what we’ve been working towards to this point. I believed that all the other smaller projects we’d done were to prepare us for a larger project like thesis, however, now that the project had come to pass, I have a very different outlook on what thesis actually is, rather than what I had initially believed it was.

When I came on board a Cohort that I had, for the most part, never worked alongside before, I knew that the circumstances wouldn’t allow me to get positions that I would normally go for and instead would have to work with whatever options I had been offered. I decided to become part of the Camera team and make the most of the learning experience that would help me determine what I want to do, rather than being a jack of all trades as I am now. Therefor, as I became more aware of what my role would be as Camera Utility, I dreaded that there would not be much for me to do.

Fortunately, that was far from the experience I actually had, and I do believe it’s a result of taking action in my own education and making damn sure that I knew my worth on that film set. That meant being attentive to the needs of everyone around me, regardless of which department, and simply learning from everyone around me. However, as initially glad as I was to be an essential part of the momentum of the project, I was encountered by a challenge of working alongside a team that has a very different work ethic and approach than mine.

I believe showing respect to colleagues, regardless of what position you might have, is imperative. Unfortunately, in this Industry you are not always treated the way you treat others and I had the misfortune of working with certain individuals who made my own thesis experience, a frustrating one.

Yet, I took it as a challenge to grow as a person and as a filmmaker, therefor I decided to take the advice I had been given of genuinely humbling myself down and rolling with the punches. I knew all I needed to do was to look at the bigger picture, and that meant avoiding confrontation at all cost and maintain my goal of becoming a filmmaker everybody would want to work with. That being said, you’ll never get along with everyone.

I initially thought Thesis would be the End-all Be-all of this program and that was far from the truth. The reality is, this is like any other Student project, which means mistakes being made and lessons being learned, overcoming obstacles and proving something to yourself.  I wish my experience on this thesis had a bit more pleasant or that I could say I had a good rapport with my Camera Team, but the fact of the matter is, you’ll rarely ever get the chance to choose who you work with.

Sometimes the most effective decision a filmmaker can do, is take away pride and ego out of every encounter. There’s still much for me to learn and I’ve yet to figure out what I’m meant to do. I know my passion for filmmaking will help me strive to become an integral part of every production I’m in. In the meantime, I’ll make the most of learning every position I can and get an understanding of everything it takes to become a better filmmaker.

Right now, I’m attempting to improve as a filmmaker and figure out my worth on a film set. To do just that, I have every intention of making my own passion projects in the next few months, ones that I’ve put on hold for long enough. Now I have just enough confidence as a filmmaker to feel prepared to take the lead on my projects, and work with people who I know are as diligent and passionate as I have recently become. My ambition is to make every day left of this program really count, as well as making the most out of every learning experience I get, by working on various different projects and tackling on a variety of positions, until I figure out what I’m meant to do on a film set as I move forward in my career.

Despite being close to the end of the program; I still believe I have every opportunity of making every day count as I have since this year had began. While I had made my fair share of mistakes at the start of this program, I genuinely believe I’m developing as a filmmaker and as a person, and therefor looking forward to every challenge and project I work on or tackle in the upcoming months, with every intention of growing as a person in order to develop as stronger filmmaker.

[naderneoissa]

I Know You from Somewhere: Review and Analysis

The Sundance Award Winning film I Know you from Somewhere is a dark romantic drama that centers around a young woman becoming a victim of the brutality and hate found on the internet as a result being wrongly accused of racism.

The film revolves around Kathreen (Angela Trimbur); a young woman attempting to find someone to connect with, as she consults with a friend on her dating life, after getting on a date using tinder, she becomes emotionally attached to a young man, only to find herself soon afterwards being cheated on by her new lover and her absent-minded friend Olivia (Cleopatra Coleman). However, when she decides to confront them, she ends up being recorded and taken out of context, which leads her to becoming a viral sensation for all the wrong reasons and leads her life into a spiral of hate, threats and unemployment.

Written and Directed by Andrew Fitzgerald, the film reflects on the unabashed hate and vile aggression that can only be found in a comment section. Fitzgerald doesn’t refrain from showcasing the extremely negative response, that could be a result of something as simple as being taken out of context over the internet. Fitzgerald also showcases a deeper outlook into just how much we’ve become consumed by the collective opinion of others, especially with social media being prominently used for the sake of vanity and relentless criticism.

Every aspect of the film reflects on our reliance on social media and just how much hate could be found within a comment section. Through the visuals and rapid style editing as well as the pacing of the film, Fitzgerald was able to reflect on the degree to which people showcase the worst of themselves on social media. The dark-comedic tone of the film also highlights the extent of the damage on someone’s life from something as simple as a video over spiraling the internet.

From a filmmaking perspective, Fitzgerald elevates this film with an incredible cast that all feel like real people and contrasts between each of them, as one of the characters being incredibly self-obsessed while the other more down to earth and self-aware. The story also drives home with its depiction of modern relationships, as people are more prone now to meet someone online than they are through actual socializing.

Expectations is also something the story really delves into, since social media has provided us with an opportunity to look deeper into the history someone’s life, there are expectations that come as a result and therefor we expect the people we meet to be a reflection of what they are on their social media. Fitzgerald crafts the film in a way that makes it uniquely told the lens of various media outlets with phones, laptops and applications being prominently used to visually show the film much in the same way we view social media.

I Know you from Somewhere employs incredible cinematography and camera movement to tell its story, Fitzgerald uses extreme close ups as the story progresses to really showcase the discomfort of the main character within her surrounding environment. As Kathreen receives more threats, the camera almost frames her in a claustrophobic way that reflects on the character’s fear and discomfort. Which is a testament to just how much Fitzgerald has a grasp of the story he’s attempting to tell and how he utilizes the various aspects of filmmaking to bring it to fruition.

With that in mind, since the film aims to tell a long narrative within a short runtime of only 15 minutes, the rapid pacing is what really sets it apart from other short films of its genre. The outstanding set design is also an element that is crafted very well, as locations are set up in ways that contrast how the protagonist’s life changes once that infamous video goes viral and her life takes a much darker turn.

There’s much to learn from Fitzgerald’s approach to filmmaking and how he tackled a modern story with much ground to cover in a very limited runtime. With the depth to which he really broke down each character and was able to move from plot point to another in rapid pace can only be a result of a deep understanding of the story you’re attempting to tell. In that regard, Fitzgerald profoundly delves deep into the thematic elements of the story as well as the production elements, such as the set and costume design as well as the camera angles chosen to best tell his story.

Most importantly, I believe through Fitzgerald’s direction, he was able to really showcase exactly what he had intended, with more insight into just how much darker social media is, than what it is actually perceived to be. There’s definitely much to aspire to when comes to the various aspects of filmmaking utilized to tell this story, and it’s often that the best films are the ones that have something profound to say, which I believe is the strongest aspect of this film as it provides a thought provoking premise and delivers it in an incredibly stylized approach as well as a meaningful one. 

[naderneoissa]

The Filmmaking Journey...So Far

For as long as I can remember, Filmmaking has always been what I’m most passionate about. In one way or another Filmmaking has always been part of my life, however, all the recent experiences I’ve had on various projects and sets has led me to believe that filmmaking isn’t only what I'm most passionate about, it’s what I'm meant to do!

For those who’ve never been on a film set, there’s an idea that there’s glamour that comes with being a filmmaker. When in fact, it’s hours of gritty hard work, patience and very little sleep. It’s not a career for everyone, however every filmmaker’s passion for film is the driving force through it all. 

On a personal level, I moved down from Egypt to Florida for the purpose of getting the experience of being on a film set, learning more of the various positions on a filmset, as well as adapting to whatever position I take on. It’s safe to say that what I've learned over the last few months is invaluable. 

Every experience on a film set has taught me the importance of doing your due diligence, always being around when you’re needed and remaining humble. Despite the fact that I'm still a jack of all trades and have yet to figure out my niche, I believe It only propelled me to understand more about every position on a film set, rather than pigeonholed myself to only one position.

The last project I took part of, afforded me the opportunity to become Key Production Assistant, and despite taking on that position on multiple other projects, I firmly believe every experience has been significantly different from the other. With every opportunity I got as Key PA, I had more of a grasp on what that position entails and became more capable of assisting every department.

While also recognizing the importance of staying in my lane, however difficult it might be when it comes to seeing a department falling behind on what they’re meant to do. Despite of any good intentions, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who appreciates someone going out of their way to do someone else’s job on a film set.

Yet there’s no denying that complications and drama might arise on set on the spur of the moment. Since filmmaking is a stressful endeavor and every aspect warrants full attention, not to mention, the time crunch that’s always looming over every department. With a minimum of 50 people on a film set, there’s bound to be some clashes from time to time. 

Filmmaking, however, is all about embracing the learning curve. As well as understanding that every film set is different from the other and grasping that there will always be something to take away from every individual experience. Praise is hardly ever thrown around on a film set, yet effort and hard work are more likely to be noticed on a film set than anywhere else. 

On my last shoot, after 4 consecutive days of standing tall, moving and hauling equipment and gear then proceeding to wrap it all up, every muscle was aching the way it would after a good workout. And I personally wouldn’t have it any other way, because nothing compares to that feeling of accomplishment, when you know you were a part of bringing a story from page to screen. 

For the past 7 months, I’ve learned more about Filmmaking than I had the last 4 years of my life. Yet, there’s still much for me to learn and therefor in the coming months, I’ll be making even more of an effort to work on various film sets and get experiences for positions I hadn’t tackled before. With that in mind, the Camera department is what I intend to become part of and earn as much as experience in within the upcoming few months.

Passion for filmmaking is what’s driving me to always take on every opportunity that comes my way and be part of various project that provide me with more experience for whatever position I take on. While I ultimately want to Direct, I have every intention of taking on the long game and earning the experience needed to become a capable established filmmaker. 

[naderneoissa]

The Heart of Nostalgia

I’m a very nostalgic person, I think for the most part, we’re all emotionally attached to something from our past. My best friend has always been nostalgic about Transformers and the X-men, among many other things as a result of an 80′s childhood. For myself, there’s always been one character that I had always been nostalgic about; Spider-Man. For as long as I can remember this character meant so much to me, even when I couldn’t yet put it to words. The character, the design, the films, the books, the music, the action figures, the pajamas, the comics and even the posters, just spoke to me. 

Every time I had encountered the character in any sort of medium, I would be moved or just feel the utter thrill of enjoyment. I believe some people outgrow their childhood heroes, instead I found myself relating more and more to the character as I grew up. Especially now, as I revisit the original Spider-Man films, I'm reminded with much passion why those films resonated with me so deeply. The characters are vibrant and grounded, the story is pure and full of heart, the music is moving and touching and even the filmmaking behind those films was more practical and well crafted.

Whenever I look back, I recall the earliest of memories of the toys I had for Spider-Man and profound love for them, they simply just sparked my imagination and I always found myself creating stories where Spider-Man was always the one to save everyone, the one who would fight all the other characters I had. Despite being bruised and battered (paint scrapes and scratches on the figure), he'd always walk out of the fight ready to save more people and keep fighting. Which had always been the heart of the character.

As the years pass, the depth of the character resonated with me, every single film that featured the character came at a pivotal point of my own life. The most important of which was the first Amazing Spider-Man, which was the first film I had watched after my father had passed away. The film and character simply made me cope with my own grief and it felt like I was on the same journey that Peter Parker was on.

Revisiting any of those films, as I had tonight, reminds me that this character is part of my past, part of who I am, part of the person I'm meant to be. That character is almost part of every memory I hold dear, whether it’s the days I spent with my dad in the park buying Spider-Man themed lollipops to get the surprise sticker inside or the soundtrack that I've been listening to for over 10 years. To this day, I still love collecting Spider-Man figures. To this day, I still have a Spider-Man figure on my desk and writing a blog post about my emotional journey with the character, while listening to the original Spider-man score. 

Nostalgia has never been about living in the past, it’s about letting your fondest memories and your heroes become part of your journey growing up. If i hadn’t seen that first Spider-Man film in theaters, I'd have never been as inspired my entire life to become a filmmaker. Everything good I've done was a result of me wanting to be as good of a person as Peter Parker. It may be just another fictional character for some, for myself it’s everything I am.

Having that passionate nostalgia for something you love can be life changing. I would hope that one day, I’m able to create a character that would resonate with someone as much as this character had with myself. Despite there being allot of cynicism in the world, having that sense of nostalgia is what makes me recall where my journey had started and drives me with a sense passion and purpose that I'm meant to become a filmmaker and storyteller, one who resonates with audiences in a heartfelt way.

[naderneoissa]

Experiences and The Learning Curve

Now that I'm a month into 2019, I’ve had the time to reflect on how the year has started out for me so far. Every year I set one important milestone to achieve, as well as wish for that one thing that’s entirely up to fate. The year started with the important decision I've made of taking a couple months off from my Master’s degree, in order to pursue and accomplish two things. 

The first was getting a job I had set myself for and the second was beginning Pre-production on my own passion project. The former of which I began relentlessly pursuing and vying for. Which led to a very rewarding accomplishment of getting that job that I had so adamantly vied for. The latter however, required something that I needed at the time, which was being inspired. 

It took me a few days to realize that the simplest things can make a world of difference when it comes to being inspired or motivated, for myself I needed to have something as simple as a a desk in my room. Despite being low on cash at the time, I sold enough of my collectibles that I didn't necessarily need in my collection, in order to purchase a desk to work on. Since I displayed some of my collectibles on my desk back home, I was excited to display some the collectibles I had purchased in order to make this room feel more like home.

Putting that desk together myself also became something of a minor task that I enjoyed accomplishing, as it always makes me reminisce on my father’s own craft. However, that still didn’t do enough to inspire me to really dig deep into pre-production for my passion project. 

I took on a different approach and decided to invest my time revisiting and rewatching all genres of films that I loved and watch films that I always had on my watch list. Yet, while that enlightened me and inspired me as a filmmaker, it still wasn't enough to drive me to take on this undertaking. So I made the simple decision of putting the project aside till it felt right to take it on once again.

I began instead approaching other filmmakers in order to work on their projects and gain various experiences in different positions. The result of that, led to taking on positions such as 2nd AC, 2nd AD and Key PA on a few projects. Every single one of those positions led me to learn more about the importance of those respective positions. While some of those experiences led to more opportunities opening up, I’d be hard pressed to say I didn’t make some mistakes along the way that may have jeopardized my opportunity to work with certain individuals again. 

Nevertheless I do believe that, as one my instructors had stated, this is the perfect time to fuck up. While those experiences on those student projects have led me to make some mistakes, it also afforded me the opportunity to reflect and become aware of my downfalls. There are many things I believe I need to work on as an individual, most important of all, learning how to become approachable to everyone and not always wear my heart on my sleeve. 

There are more than a few things I’m attempting to achieve this February, one of which is of course gaining momentum with pre-production on my passion project. Even more importantly is to earn more experiences that could provide me the opportunity of taking on various positions without having to deal with the initial mistakes I had made. After all, this journey I'm on has all been on a learning curve.

[naderneoissa]

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - Review and Analysis

This month has been quite an impactful one for me, when it came to the films I’ve watched. It was a month filled with many trips to the theatre and many opportunities to revisit some of my favorite films including Lord of the Rings, the Dark Knighttrilogy and Skyfall. I also got the opportunity to watch a classic like Schindler’s List for the very first time in the theatre.

And while I contemplated writing about Spielberg’s horrifying true story about one man’s journey to do as much good as he could in the world’s darkest hour. I believe many people who are much well-versed in the historic accounts that the film re-creates would be much better equipped to write a review for that film. Instead I’m opting to write about a film that I recently watched and fell in love with, the animated adaptation of Spider-Man.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse was one of my most anticipated features of the year, mainly due to my love for the character from a very young age. While that information, for anyone who knows me well, is nothing new for them to know. Seeing this film, reminded me why this characters has always meant so much to me.

It’s easy to look at a character as Spider-Man as a colorful Saturday cartoon character that’s meant to appeal to a younger audience. When in fact you’d be hard-pressed not to find a single generation since the character’s inception that hasn’t been affected by this character in some shape or form.

That’s simply because this character ever since the 1960’s, when the character made it’s first appearance, began resonating with readers in a way other characters couldn’t. The appeal of an indestructible man or a billionaire-vigilante certainly has its fan-base but Spider-Man proved that people will always love someone they could see themselves becoming.

Peter Parker was always an everyday man and represented the same hardships that people go through in their everyday lives; heartache, financial problems and maintaining relationships. That concept of what makes Spider-man a relatable character, is in itself the heart of the new animated film’s story, and goes as far as to ask the audience; what does it take to be Spider-Man?

The premise of the film follows a new version of Spider-Man from an alternate dimension, who’s origins are far different than the original version of the character. An argument could even be made that this version of the character is more compelling that the original one. The alternate version of the character follows a young Hispanic teenager by the name of Miles Morales, who unlike Peter Parker, still has his loving family around to support him and has difficulty in his relationship with his over-protective father and instead leans to his uncle, who in-deep into a life of crime.

Miles gets bitten by a radio-active Spider and witnesses the death of the original version of Spider-Man. After various portals open to different dimensions, Miles meets a version of Spider-Man. who has gotten past his glory days and had let go of himself physically and given up on being the hero he once was. However, he becomes Miles reluctant mentor.

That characterization on it’s own gave the film much more depth than I had initially predicted. For all my love for the character, I had expected this film to only be entertaining, but I was pleasantly surprised when I came to realize just how much depth the film had. From Miles conflicted relationships with his family to Peter Parker being reminded of the hero he once was.

The film certainly has its fair share of awe-inspiring moments from a filmmaking standpoint as well. The entire film was visually meant to recreate the look of a comic-book coming to life and there’s no shortage of creative camera movements created for the film as well.

The film develops the highest peak of animation because of the visually stunning blend of stop-motion animation as well as 3D graphic animation. I was always more drawn to actual films with real performances and real sets, which is why the original Sam Raimi directed Spider-Man (2002), has a very special place in my heart, it had been the film that sparked my love for film.

However, with animation there are none of the limitations that actual films would face during the entirety of their production. This film certainly proves that some stories are better told through their animated forms. While the film definitely utilizes the familiar three act structure, the direction taken with each main character introduced makes the journey for each character have a full arc of their own, which leads a much more compelling film.

What I believe the directors for the film; Phil Lord and Chris Miller, were truly able to achieve was showcase multiple versions of this iconic character in one film and have them all feel like real people with real dilemmas which is exactly was creator Stan Lee had originally intended with the character at his inception. Visually the directors also showcase the utter exhilaration of becoming Spider-Man as well as the trials and tribulations that come with donning that suit and taking on that mantle.

The core of the character and the heart of what makes this character truly beloved is front and center in the characterization and story development of the film. The message clearly meant to be told to all audiences is that, we are all Spider-Man. This character represents the best version of ourselves and represents all the hardships we have to go through before we are able to become who we are meant to be.

Love, loss, and hardships are a part of almost every Spider-Man story told and that’s because they are an integral part of our lives as well. There’s no change without self-reflection, there’s no growth without hardships and we all need to reminded of who we’re meant to be by our loved ones and anyone we choose to look up to.

[naderneoissa]

Challenges come in all forms

This month has been full of challenges both personally and academically, but there’s no doubt that this month became one of the most productive and insightful experiences I’ve had since I came here. I set a goal for myself this month, in that I would learn more about operating the camera and for the most part I feel like I have a lot more experience behind the camera than I had at the beginning of this month. I knew coming into this class that there’d be a lot of creative work involved, and while It was a daunting for some, I couldn’t be more excited about it.

Filming and shooting the emotion video completely on my own was thrilling because I had become too dependent on certain people in my class to shoot my projects, that I was enthusiastic to actually go about on my own. After filming that project and showing some of the footage to my cohort, I found myself being asked to help others to work on their projects, which I was willing to do, because I sought after every experience I can get.

However, the two main projects I worked on this month was Darrell Ray’s Doors To Nostalgia as 1stAC and a Rebel HQ promo that I signed as PA for but ended up becoming 2ndAC as well. Both were incredibly challenging projects and completely different experiences. While I always had respect for Darrell, it was truly overwhelming just observing work through this project without a moment of doubt of what he wanted from every scene. Working alongside him as 1stAC and Cam Operator made for a very memorable experience.

As for the other project I got the chance to work on, that opportunity came about when I least expected it and ended up becoming one of the more grueling shoots I’ve worked on and also the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had on set. Someone once told me that you should never expect a pat on the back in the film industry, but putting in as much heart and effort as I had, it was palpable how much everyone I was working alongside noticed it, which fueled me to push myself even more despite the production delays and long hours.

While all those experience made this month more challenging, I was so encouraged to keep that momentum going with all the passion and drive I had from both of these projects I had worked on. That is of course, until the next day came and I heard the news that the one person I had looked up to since I was 5 years old had passed away. Stan Lee, other than my own parents, had defined my childhood and even my adult-life. Lee was such a significant figure in my life that knowing that I would never get the opportunity to meet him and thank him for inspiring me throughout my entire life, left me devastated and derailed me from other projects that I needed to work on.

I had to recall the first lesson I ever got from one of Lee’s greatest characters, and it was about responsibility. So I made a choice to not avoid any of my responsibilities and despite putting myself in corner with time, I made the most of my projects and ended up making an emotion video, a one picture story that I was proud of and learn from my downfalls with the recreation, knowing that it was my blunder this month. All I can do is learn from every experience, even my own downfalls and  change into the filmmaker I hope to become someday.

[naderneoissa]

Hardships and Growth

To say that this month had been challenging, would be a massive understatement. There’s no denying that everything that I had gone through this month, was experience that would eventually help define me as a filmmaker and as a person. The most obvious challenge was of course preparation for the thesis pitch, however that was far from the only challenge I had to overcome.

Most challenges from the past few months had been mostly just educational, for this month however, personal matters threatened to affect my work and my performance as a student, the first of which was the continuous struggle of settling down at a place I’d be happy to call home. I had been in denial of ever feeling homesick and I doubted that I ever would, because I never really felt like I belonged in Egypt. Then I understood that homesickness can mean different things to different people and to myself it meant that I had felt a longing for the people I cared for most.

Living in a place that I can barely sleep in was more than difficult to bear with, but that wasn’t all of it. Heartache as well took me on an emotional struggle, one that came right about the same time I had to really work for Thesis as well as the main project I had been putting together for the Experimental Filmmaking class. 

All of those emotional burdens came at a month that required a substantial effort in everything I took part of. I’m glad to say that for the most part, I was able to work through all those struggles, but I believe I owe that to having supportive cohorts who supported the projects we had tackled together. I can’t deny that not being afforded to work on the Thesis films I had hoped to work on isn’t frustrating and a little disheartening, I just firmly believe everything happens for a reason and I hope one day I can lead a project of my own and make a name for myself as an accomplished filmmaker and Director.

For the most part I do believe that this journey, this experience might be more impactful on myself than most of my cohorts, mostly due to how far I had to go to make my dream closer to reality. I know that every experience and every moment of frustration and stress leads to me have a more experienced character. If anything this month just affirmed to me just how emotionally strong I can be and I’ve learned not to resent any hard times I might go through, I know I’m all the better for it.