myshittysideblogg

[myshittysideblogg]

I'm so tired and sad. I feel like no matter how hard I try I'm never doing enough. I'm constantly caring for everyone and it just isn't enough. I'm not good enough. I don't have enough money. I'm not smart enough to carry heavier conversations. I can't keep my house clean. How do I care if the kids at my job when I can't fully care for myself? I feel like a corpse dragging on day by day at this point. My body is constantly fighting itself. I lose the ability to walk at random. I'm fucking 30. Things need to start turning around. I literally don't know how Im still going. It's like the most painful autopilot.

[myshittysideblogg]

The urge to not come back from vacation next month and disappear into the woods in VT are becoming more and more appealing by the day. Or buying land for like $5 in Sardinia through that program they have going on. That is also a viable option. Either way.. I'm burnt the fuck out and too stressed to care anymore.

[myshittysideblogg]

Work work work work and work

[myshittysideblogg]

Chronically chill 😎 or something like that

[myshittysideblogg]

Sorry I only fuck dorks and goofs

[myshittysideblogg]

🍁 ​✨ an *almost* fall look ✨ 🍁

[myshittysideblogg]

Exhausted but this light is hitting just right so 🤷🏼‍♀️

[myshittysideblogg]

[myshittysideblogg]

[myshittysideblogg]

[myshittysideblogg]

Sending love to everyone who has health issues or chronic pain in parts of your body that aren’t usually socially acceptable to talk about. It’s frustrating to feel like you can never explain your pain to someone because it’s TMI and to feel like you have to hide it. Your pain is nothing to be ashamed of. I see you, and I’m sending you support and strength.

[myshittysideblogg]

Me: *driving home from running errands with significant other* I'm not doing the best mentally today because of my chronic illness stuff.

SO: *proceeds to make a 'joke' about my chronic illnesses taking over while driving and me killing us both*

Me: *gets upset because they do this constantly and I tell them not too*

SO: *gets made because they're "a realist" and apparently I'm not living in reality when I tell them not to say that. *

Like this is fucked up right? I hate being made to feel like I'm in the wrong for being upset. It's like I can't talk about my health issues without them going off the rails about worst case scenarios that are like a <1% chance of happening to me and how upset it makes them. Like it isn't about what I'm dealing with but how my shit affects them. I'm really fucking mad. All while I'm doing wedding planning. It makes me wanna lash out and say fuck the wedding because according to you i probably won't live long enough to even have our wedding.

Why do I fucking bother.

[myshittysideblogg]

You're free falling and burned. You're scrambling mid air, blaming the sun. Was it really that bright? Basking in a false glow and getting too comfortable. Was it worth it?

[myshittysideblogg]

🩵😴

[myshittysideblogg]

the thing about me is I'm cute, laid back and easy going but in like a really intense and stressful kinda way

[myshittysideblogg]

🎀🎀🎀

[myshittysideblogg]

I'd say makeup free but them brows are artfully drawn on 😂