mydeadpoet - Tumblr blog

[mydeadpoet]

Far too Patient

Oh for once,

Let me be known.

Only a mere picture was I,

To the gaze of yours

to be loved, is to be known and

You never loved me.

Thinking of opal haze

Oh but thinking is merely thought!

oh i want to feel, to touch

Oh for I have been far too patient.

Send me a knight

Cold yet loving.

Clearheaded yet blue.

— Bella

[mydeadpoet]

clouded

Did i dream it so

mad?

Give me your hand

Bury me

A lantern, slaughtered youth

for here lies

beauty

full of light.

Lightening before death

no power, not conquered

crimson lips, blooded sheets

What more favor can I do?

To be his paramour?

here, here I will remain.

Poet’s note: originally a page from an old Romeo and Juliet play book I took it from my math class in 7th. But anyway, I created a blackout poem from it so I guess it was worth it.

[mydeadpoet]

“You need to look busy,”

“I am busy,”

“You’re just sitting there.”

“Im listening to music and creating a whole world in my mind.”

[mydeadpoet]

Posting on instagram is scary. So its on here now.

[mydeadpoet]

What do you want be when you grow up?

Nothing to everyone

and everything to myself.

[mydeadpoet]

snowy

you were the darkest night

cold and blue

no emotions came out of you

sly as the greatest gatspy

and as silently as the stars that sleep

and i’m as bright as the clementines

shine in the light

wishing for you to give me a sign

of love at first sight

and a pretty blue intelligent mystery

pushing me away

         in the snow array

in the horizon of New York City

city lights beaming before our eyes

as we talk about our pasts and our presents

too afraid to talk about our future.

too afraid of what we might lose.

[mydeadpoet]

I find myself turning little things in to so much more

turning sweet nothings to forever stories

For myself and I to dream of

and my forever someone and I

to fulfill them.

[mydeadpoet]

My inspiration comes from the things around me

I draw patterns, flowers

and I eventually write about them

as paradise takes over.

[mydeadpoet]

Success

come to me blessed

As an insecure, scared form finds comfort in the optimistic

and comfort of not being mentally lonely

Not being alone shows all the possibilities I hope to successfully get

Successfully get confidence

Successfully find love

Successful life will be thoughtful and be enough I’ll be able to ponder about for hours

-

I hate missed opportunities. God they drive me crazy. How can I be so stupid.

I pity myself for causing it on myself

How could I.

Who am I.

Please get out of my head.

-

You say you want to find all my secrets

But I still haven’t figured them out

Place your bets

I won’t be able to survive without you with me.

Out in the real world

With no possible guidance

But my thoughts

But they’re not real.

I need the real you.

The real you comforting me not just a fragment of dreams

A real one who I can sob to

Who I can kiss

Who I have to support me

The real me

The loose roses on the edge of a mountain

Who a single wind can push them off

Falling, oh so fast, falling where the grave was dug but the people are there

Composure fast.

Think about how after life will be peaceful.

A long way from now but it’s going by fast

I know someday I’ll hopefully gain the peace I hopefully earned

Have a family with you in what it feels like the clouds

House filled with art, greenery, history

Your intellect saving us like always

God I’m grateful.

-

This is so random. Worst feeling but something to think about when what turns out to be a good day fucks up at the end. like goddamn really?

[mydeadpoet]

Let school go by quick

Let me have my nostalgia already

Let me thrive knowing i soon wont have to deal with this

Let me have the love of my life

Come and save me from misery

Just let me get tf out of school so i can live

This is so very angsty teenager of me

[mydeadpoet]

Its not a big deal.

Edit: it was rlly not a big deal. Goddamn.

[mydeadpoet]

Hope i look back and laugh.

[mydeadpoet]

Classical music my savior. I want to sob to you near a lake if possible. Anywhere ground. So i can be closer to life. Lay on the grass, head empty of anything from true.

[mydeadpoet]

TAKE ME BACK. God really thought this year would be different

Cried on the first week

really thought.

Still have hope

This is dangerous.

[mydeadpoet]

LIKE SNOW ON THE BEACH.

[mydeadpoet]

444,222

[mydeadpoet]

I’m afraid

Afraid of a lot of things.

Embarrassment, failure

normal things really

they over power where that’s all I can think of

when others don’t react to something the same way as I do

I see myself as weaker but I accept it

Because I don’t quite understand how their feelings could differ

Where mine are filled with fear and exhaustion and self doubt

When I’m doubting myself my voice gets tinier and tinier where you can’t hear me

And I don’t want you to hear me. Don’t tell me to speak up. I will burst into tears. I can see that happening. But I hope it doesn’t. I really hope that doesn’t happen. Please universe. Please let me get through this without after and before shots of dwelling.

My love for arts, dreams, dreams from nowhere places, I hope they can keep me alive for a bit longer.

—A.