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Now that I think about it, hoxton probably knocks them over too.

Houston has model cars. Yknow those small cars you find in gas stations? Those.

A full collection. Not a box of them like I said, but bro has them in a line and polishes them bitches

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TW: Homophobia (I am not homophobic, am lesbian.)

Do you guys think Sergei/Sokol would have just a tad bit of homophobia? Hear me out here.

Russias anti lgbtq laws.

But I think he’d have changed when in america.

Edit: He’s also probably toxic misogynistic, but straightened that up at the existence of clover and/or sydney. Or any fem heister atp. Femininominons. (I so spelt that wrong but okay)

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More dumb wholesome moments with heisters!

Rubber fuckin ducks.

We already know rust wouldnt take one so..

Lets just say their all matched to their personality and intrests.

dallas. Coffee mug in hand duck.

Houston. … mechanic for car duck

Hoxton BRITISH DUCK

Wolf: … Engineer duck? or duck that went fucking insane, sound familiar

Chains: Specifically for the funny, not that I couldnt think of anything else nono

Pickle duck.

Any more down below? :3

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… out of all the payday gang male members, who do you think paints their nails and what colors?

Tbh, out of all of them, the colors blue, red, black, would probably frequent out of all of them ngl.

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I have the goat sim payday dlc its the best thing ever cause what do you mean im headbutting cops as a goat?????

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this is so dumb again lolz

Imagine being a civilian in payday who walked into the bank the moment the payday gang masked up? Do you run??? Do you hide????

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This is a dumb idea. It came to me watching a payday 2 meme video

You lot ever think that Houston was embarrassed about the donacdum song if he ever heard it??? I would be.

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halo guys hai!

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as a tism warrior, real

houston has a god given skill that is being incredibly proficient at making the simplest of foods

scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cheese quesadilla, ham and cheese sandwiches, hot chocolate, kool aid, burger

everyone else thought there really wasnt much to it until he gave them one of the listed things he made and they tried it because they wanted to encourage him to cook more and now they consider it a delicacy that is unmatched by any attempts of their own to replicate it

for a week straight cheese quesadillas were all jacket was eating because he was in a depressed slump and refused to exit his room so houston had to deliver him food in order for him to not die

they started encouraging him to make sandwiches and keep them in a cooler in the getaway van so the gang had something to eat after a heist. twitch got caught stealing them while he was waiting to pick the gang up and now theres a designated twitch lunchbox containing something houston whipped up so he doesnt dip into the gangs sammich cooler

hoxton is especially bitter about houstons ability to cook because he has to come to terms with the fact that any fancy shit he tries to make will not compare to the simplicity of an american grilled cheese

dallas has been told to refrain from telling houston to apply his skill to anything other than the simple foods because in sydneys words “itll make him not want to cook in any capacity” and shes right but whenever dallas asks houston for a burger it will turn into a backyard barbecue where autism be damned this boy can work a grill

in the midst of winter sort of around brooklyn bank heist time the safehouse heating system got busted and while wolf was fixing it the gang had to find a way to keep warm. sokol, jacket, and sydney all knelt on the floor peeking over the counter watching this autistic man make hot chocolate, shivering their balls off in anticipation for the polar express levels of peak hot chocolate

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houston is a kleptomaniac.

you could argue everyone in the payday gang is but i feel like for houston it is serious. people in the safehouse ask where a trinket of theirs went and its always in the garage. dallas had to set up a lost and found in the living room for everyone to come grab things houston stole. nothing he needed or even wanted, nothing he even planned to keep. he just cant stop himself from reaching over and grabbing a tape from jackets collection, no intention to play it. it is irresistible to grab a hockey puck from the rink with no plan to play. a marker from sydney's corner, a controller from joy's van, a pen from clover's desk, a glass from the bar. its especially ironic considering how possessive he is of his own belongings.

luckily a lot of the time he doesnt steal anything personal. its not whether or not the item is personal that makes him want to steal it. just the fact that its there. its so easy. he could do it right now- look he just did it. wanna see him do it again? sometimes though it does go too far. he never knows the sentimental value of the item. he just sees it lying unattended and cant help but pocket it. he doesnt look through it, just sets it in the garage like everything else. someone yells about how they cant find it and houston deals with their wrath and cant give an answer for why he even did it in the first place.

everywhere dallas went in his younger years he had a little bandit on his tail. he had to smooth talk his way out of altercations with adults on his brothers behalf, explaining every time that he just doesnt know better. takes the hit for houston and says it was him that took it. houston kept getting into trouble over tiny little things.

it started off when he did want something. wanting a chocolate bar from the corner store and having nimble enough hands to take it. then he registers how easy it was. its become muscle memory to reach for something and take it. an impulse he cant control. it isnt like he wants the object itself. he tells himself "i shouldnt do this" but before his neurons process the command, hes already stolen something. even from places houston knows he shouldnt steal from. he sits out on group activities like the farmer's market, conventions, et cetera. just because he knows he'll wind up stealing something.

its not like him to regret taking things. it really depends on the thing and the location. at walmart he will pocket whatever is around the register. he faces away from the camera and uses his body to shield the view before grabbing something all within seconds. he does it like a routine. he dresses in loose hoodies and cargo pants to places not just for comfort, but for the deep pockets.

he felt bad for a long time during retirement for still stealing. but he cant help himself. it hurt not to do it. it oddly felt more like he would be caught if he didnt steal it, so his hands act before he can think and he is relieved. then guilty again. then feels anticipation, relief, guilt. anticipation, relief, guilt. anticipation, assault, control.

its the reason he wound up in prison. he was retired. he had all the money he needed and no reason to wish for more. he was comfortable and capable of being a normal civilian after everything finally came to an end. but then he saw a bank open up, or heard about a new museum exhibit. whatever he was doing.

he told himself he shouldnt do it. itd only get him into more trouble. he wasnt sure whether or not he wanted to return to the life he had growing up. he felt relief finally being out of it, then felt empty without it. was a thief all that he was? who was he if not a rogue? it hurts not to do it.

he told himself he shouldnt do it, but before his neurons could even process the command, he was already planning it out. meticulously mapping routes on his own on a corkboard, putting on his best suit and punching numbers into a keypad. hes thorough. hes nimble. hes stealthy. he never forgets anything, right?

the question of why remains. is it former substance abuse? gambling addiction? a lack of dopamine? the adrenaline rush? bad habit?

why cant he stop himself? are his hands physically working against him? deep down is he just a selfish thief? no matter how much guilt he feels for it, is it perhaps true that he is just a selfish, greedy thief?

he has no idea.

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Fujoshi Joy

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HEY GUYS! I AM SO

SO

SO!!

SORRY I HAVENT BEEN ONLINE! I HAVE BEEN SOOOOOOOOOOOO BUSY ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY LIKE OMD but hopefully I can find time to make hcs and fanfics soon!

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Spectacular give me 14 of em rn.

oh my god splatoon! splatoon x payday!!?

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oh my god this is so offtopic from payday but I love my girlfriend so much she recently transitioned from male to female and im so happy she could be comfortable sharing this with me

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Clown in a cornfield.

Payday 3 Year 1 Edition Artwork Reveal:

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Wait guys is panic! At the disco problematic I was working on a animation of hoxton to the song “Dont threaten me with a good time”, specifically the lyrics

“Champagne, cocaine, gasoline

And most things in between

I roam the city in a shopping cart

A pack of camels and a smoke alarm

This night is heating up

Raise hell and turn it up

Saying "If you go on, you might pass out in a drain pipe"

Oh, yeah, don't threaten me with a good time”

… IF IT IS, I’VE SPENT 3 WEEKS OF MY LIFE ANIMATING TO A PROBLEMATIC ARTIST

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Houston has model cars. Yknow those small cars you find in gas stations? Those.

A full collection. Not a box of them like I said, but bro has them in a line and polishes them bitches