my-ot-blog

[my-ot-blog]

The Evolution of a Caterpillar to a Butterfly:

“The end of a story… The beginning of many”

                                                     -          Anonymous

I cannot believe my community block is over. It seems like it was just yesterday I was entering this foreign place, with my apprehension dictating me. Yet her I am, leaving this familiar place with my experiences leading me to my awaiting future. Looking back, I realise that my time spent in the community has left me laden with information and experiences. This may be the end of my chapter within the community, but it has definitely equipped me for the beginning of a new one.

My experiences during the community have shaped me into a better person and OT. It may seem clichéd to say that it changed me into this better figure, but I truly believe it. I see my transformation due to being in the community much like the process of a butterfly’s life. I entered very much an ignorant caterpillar, and left as a beautiful butterfly. Amongst some of the factors, the aspect that spurred my transformation during my caterpillar stage was initially due to my individual client.  The reason my client played such a big role in my growth was because of her unwavering faith in God and her perspective of life spoke to me. Every session I had with her, she would tell me something so insightful, I would continue to reflect on it when I went home. One conversation resounds with me, and which I feel will continue to do so throughout my life. She said, “When I began my career, I was going through a tough time, my father had died, my mother was depressed, and I had to survive in the apartheid era. Every day I struggled to get out of bed, my problems sometimes weighed me down. But I still persisted, I got up every day, I prayed to God and I did my best. Now, look at me, I have done well for myself, and although I have my stroke, I have my mind to tell me to keep going”. I must admit, on hearing this, I had teared up a little. It really gave me the feels.

The main lesson which this has taught me was persistence and resilience. This client is the living embodiment of those qualities. She not only taught me the meaning of those terms but a physical representation of it. Personally, when I experience hardships, I usually do not take it too well. I usually withdraw, and if I do come out of it, I always live in fear of that particular experience and going through it again. With my client, she made me reflect on how I don’t come back from bad experiences. For example, in my 2nd year, one of my supervisors told me I should consider changing my profession because it did not look like I was doing well. This particular sentiment has stuck with me throughout my studies. I have an in-built fear within me that I am not going to make it. Although it was 2 years ago it still sits with me. However listening to her it made me realise that I have to move past this. Yes, it was a horrible thing to experience, but it did happen, and rather than being dictated by it, I should take it as a learning curve. Rather than dwelling on what she had told me, I have to look at what I have achieved since. This feeling of potential failure still followed me through this year, and I feel like my client had a role making me slowly move past this. Seeing as she had helped me, I realise she was just what I needed, I needed to hear someone else’s story to continue my own. It seems like therapy worked both ways!

Another aspect which my community block has taught me was what type of OT I want to be. And that’s just it; I want to be an OT, not constrained by labels or specifics. If I would have to be labelled, I would choose to be a ‘human’ OT. In my previous blogs, I stated that many OTs are too clinical or too focused on a singular aspect of OT. Seeing this, I want to be different; I don’t want to become this robotic professional, who no longer sees the person behind the condition. What made me feel this way was seeing the difference we made in the community. We made this difference by seeing every part of the person- their family, their values, their life. And by looking at everything, you seem to get further in your therapy; you seem to make a bigger impact in their lives. It’s honestly so rewarding to see the gratitude from these individuals and their families- nothing can hold to those standards. This feeling of self-worth and appreciation is something I feel spurs me to actually take that step further to be different.

Part of my final step in my evolution into a butterfly was contemplating on the importance of this module. I mean, if it was not forced on me, I would never have stepped foot in this community. I would have continued to cower at the thought of it. However due to the obligation, and because I wanted to do well, I had to open myself up. I had to move past my comfort zone just to do what I had to do. Whereas I came out of my comfort zone for the wrong reasons, I ended up learning a few things and even contemplated being out of my comfort zone more often. And this I realise is one of the many attributes to the community block. It shows you parts of yourself that you didn’t know you possess, it shows you the best you can be, and it shows you what the inherent meaning of OT really is. In all honesty, I am extremely grateful for being forced into this, because it also guided me to be a little prepared for next year.

And thus, my departure as a butterfly has begun. My wings covered in experience to guide me in the future. I can’t say that my transformation was an easy one, but it is definitely rewarding. These types of lessons tend to stick to you the most. I can only hope that my perspectives remain as fresh and enthusiastic as it currently is. I am saddeded by my departure, but hey I got wings now! I am ready to move on to my next chapter.

A special thanks to my supervisor who was my coach in my transformation,  I really appreciate it. 

A great read to help with personal development and moving out of your comfort zone is a book called “Get Out of Your Comfortzone: The Excercise Book for your Personal Growth” by Sascha Ballach. Whereas I have not completed the books, I have read excerpts that guided me into feeling better about putting myself out there.

[my-ot-blog]

The Power of Advocacy:

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.

                                                           -          Dr. Seuss

Being in the community, there are so many things to do. By the end of the week, you are exhausted and the quality of work is lacking (and all I can think about is my soft bed). One of the things which we have to do is… Advocacy! (cue for the dramatic gasp!). Truthfully, advocacy is not my favourite aspect of community, I feel like I just don’t get my point across to the people, especially with the language barrier. However, recently I have had an experience, which really made me think of the power of advocacy and what particular role I play in it. And I finally understand the necessity and effectiveness of carrying out health promotion. Before going to the community, I was quite indifferent to the idea of health promotion. I thought it was just a means to do our part and get clients that we could possibly treat. To be quite honest I did not think much of it. To me it just meant giving out some pamphlets with throwing in a few things about OT. However, this particular mind-set was disintegrated after one particular day spent advocating.

On SASSA day, we decided it would be a good day to advocate OT and gain signatures for a petition (for more OT posts at school). Whilst going through the line, I was freezing (I couldn’t feel my toes!), and I was exhausted, so I really was not paying attention to who I was giving the OT pamphlets to, and my promotion was quite lacking (it was a Friday and I just could not get into it). I passed a pamphlet to this lady, and before I could move on, she asked me what exactly OT is (she didn’t look at the pamphlet). Before I could answer, an older individual behind her spoke up. She said “I went to OT before, I had a stroke and I was struggling with my dressing and doing all my things. It helped me to get power in my arms and start doing things again. I did not know that there was such a thing to help me. I came upon it by chance, when my daughter went to the clinic for her child; someone gave her a paper that said they can help people with strokes”. On hearing this, the individual who asked the question continued to converse with her, inquiring about the rehabilitation services in the clinic. Slowly I walked away from them, tail between my legs with my wheels spinning.

Hearing what that individual had to say was something I really needed. I was going through advocacy like a zombie, just routinely saying the same things and giving people the same things. Hearing this made me realise the importance of our advocacy in OT and how our initiative or lack of initiative could consequently shape the future of the person. For example this individual who knew what OT was, if she had not got referred to OT by chance, then she would most probably not be walking around and have full usage of her limbs. This itself stresses the importance of advocacy. Advocacy is a means by which we can promote health and ensure some continuum of treatment (Dyck, 1993). I believe that too often, the forms of advocacy consist of information or education on aspects such as diabetes, CVA, arthritis or hyper tension- it is on the conditions itself. What about other aspects? We owe it to ourselves and the community to give them a poignant explanation of OT and our services, rather than a washed down version of it. This individual showed me the importance of advocacy and how such an act actually makes a difference. Rarely do health professionals inform community members about other services that could potentially help them to reintegrate back into their community. As much as this information is helping them with prevention of medical conditions, what are these individuals supposed to do with the rest of their functioning?

As much as this experience played a role in developing this notion of OT advocacy, I realise that a lot of the reason why people in OT or even general health professionals do not do this because they do not see the instant result of their actions- advocacy is more a long term process, and the effects only begin to show themselves in the long run. The person who you advocate to may not be the target, it could be someone they know- therefore the process is a long and arduous one. For example, if the OT who treated that individual, met her now, would she not be proud of what they had accomplished with her? At the end of the day, if we don’t promote ourselves, who will?

Going back to my earlier lassitude when carrying out advocacy, I acted in the same manner that most people do- going through the motions, not really thinking about the effect of my actions. Whereas I do not condone what I did, I feel like it is understandable as to why I behaved in a zombie like fashion. Firstly, the whole advocacy thing is quite overwhelming- in this particular type of setting, most of the community is unaware of the services provided to them, and that then makes advocating more difficult and overwhelming. If there is so much to do, then why bother if making a difference is so slim? Furthermore, people nowadays generally look to online sites or even social media for their medical advisories or if they’re having an issue. Because of the lack of resources in the community, these aspects are not available via the media for these people. And it really makes one appreciate the constant availability of the media in our lives- we are just one click away from a platform of insight and knowledge.

Based on this experience I like to envision OT advocacy much like a hero in a red cape, saving a person’s function- after all what is life without doing what is important to you?

Dyck, I. (1993). Health Promotion, Occupational Therapy and Multiculturallsm: Lessons from Research. Canadian Journal Of Occupational Therapy, 60(3), 120-129. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/000841749306000303

[my-ot-blog]

Occupational Therapist or Occupational Hazardist?

“Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress”

                                                                        -  Anonymous  

Looking at the topic of the week, I must admit I was flummoxed. I am one of those people who acknowledge that there is politics but don’t really delve into it. So when I saw that this week’s topic had to do with politics and in OT nonetheless, I just gave an exasperated sigh, and resumed to procrastinate even thinking about this. I know it’s important to be aware of the current events especially in health care (seeing as I am a health care professional), but there is always something else that catches my attention when attempting to read the paper (reading the comic strips) and watching the news (watching a movie takes precedence, unfortunately!). To be quite honest, I am ashamed of my lack of knowledge regarding politics, but the internet is a beautiful place and things can be learnt! And so began my escapade on politics and OT.

When doing my research, I came across terms such as ‘occupational justice’ and ‘occupational apartheid’. Looking at these terms, there was a wriggle of recognition in my mind! I had definitely learnt of these terms, but like most things learnt in first year, it was stored waaay back in my mind. Nonetheless, these trusty scholars provided me with an adequate definition which jogged my memory. Occupational apartheid is defined as deprivation of occupation due to race, religion, status or beliefs (Durocher, Gibson & Rappolt, 2013). While occupational justice is defined as the participation of occupation which is valuable to the client and it is something that is specific to their context (Whiteford, 2004). Contemplating these terms, it triggered a thought on the age old problem we face in health care- the lack of rehabilitation and the awareness of the services. Why this topic resonated with me, was because I have observed so many community members being oblivious to these services, and worse yet, I have seen some hospitals neglect their duties, thus not providing the rehabilitation. When an individual obtains a condition, such as a stroke, they usually go to the bigger hospitals, rather than the CHC or clinic. At these hospitals, they receive their medical attention, and maybe some rehabilitation (depending on the rehab team and the doctors). However in most cases, upon discharge they are usually sent home with a few exercises, and absolutely no referral. This has been proved, as when we go to an individual’s home, and we interview them, they usually are not aware of the services available to them in the community (regarding rehabilitation). When this occurs, it causes a pit of fiery lava within me! When asking the reason for the lack of awareness, it usually comes with the answer, “no one told me”. And this is when the volcano erupts.

The lack of rehabilitation provided to these individuals causes me an insurmountable amount of frustration. It bothers me that these individuals are seen by OTs in their initial stages, yet they are not referred for further treatment. I question their integrity in these circumstances. How can you call yourself an ‘occupational therapist’ when you are not helping them with their occupation? I understand that sometimes when you inquire about the lack of rehab provided to them, the individual may lie in fear of being reprimanded. But can that be so for every person whom we see? I believe that this lack of awareness and rehab all stems from the initial phases of treatment. This is due to a previous experience in one of the bigger hospitals in my last block. Firstly the dynamics at the hospital horrified me! None of the rehab team members did their work! I would be in the ward and the nurses and doctors gave me the once over, their expressions telling me “who are you??” (Yes extremely painful!). As our prac went on, and the nurses and doctors understood our role, the referrals began to pile up, and it was just the students who did the work. Back then, my heart ached for all the people who wouldn’t get the treatment they required and would be sent home. Now that I am in the community, I realise that this is the type of environment these people are resuming to. And it fuels my anger even more, because they are the people who need it most, as they come from a lower socioeconomic background. By the rehab team not carrying out their civil duty, they are ultimately sentencing these individuals to a lifestyle of dependence and poor quality of life. They are robbing these individuals at a chance of resuming their previous roles and functions, which is inherently what we OTs are all about. This is where the lack or even ignorance of rehabilitation stems from. If no one in the acute setting educates people of the services, how are they to know?

Looking back at my experience, I realise it very much relates to occupational apartheid and justice. These people are losing their second chance; they are losing their chance at engaging in meaningful, valued occupation, all thanks to the obscured health system and their abandonment of their duties. I believe that in these cases, these OTs are feeding the cycle of occupational apartheid and injustice- they are deprived of their occupation because of their socioeconomic status- because no one bothers to look at the quality of health provided to these individuals. No one is monitoring the condition they return home in and if they are receiving the best treatment possible. Just as long as the person is a statistic on the page, all is good. Furthermore, it is a great injustice to them and our profession, as the reputation begins to slide in the mud. This also tends to bring down those OTs who actually do their job- they are then tasked with correcting the OT misconceptions, and have to then advocate what OT really is.

As you can see by my ranting, I am extremely passionate about this particular aspect of my profession. I simply cannot comprehend how you could live with yourself, knowing you are condemning so many individuals to a dreary life because you simply do not want to do your job. It baffles me and it breaks my heart! Especially, when you look at them and see their potential, and deep down you know you could help them, but not as much as you could have in the initial stages. I believe there is a lesson learnt in this. Firstly, it displays the importance of our profession- if you think you’re not making a difference, go look at an individual who has had therapy and the one who hasn’t- there is a clear difference. Secondly, this teaches you to be different- it teaches you to practice what is right and actually attempt to make a difference. And lastly it encourages you to be that OT to break the cycle of injustice towards these disadvantaged individuals.

My question to you OTs out there is, are you just another therapist in the health system (basically the Occupational Hazardist)? Or are you THE Occupational Therapist who makes a difference?

 References:

Durocher, E., Gibson, B., & Rappolt, S. (2013). Occupational Justice: A Conceptual Review. Journal Of Occupational Science, 21(4), 418-430. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/14427591.2013.775692

Whiteford, G. (2004). When people can't participate: Occupational Deprivation. In C. Christansen & E. Townsend (Eds.), Introduction to occupation: The art and science of living (pp. 221-242). NJ; Prentice Hall.

[my-ot-blog]

What occupation is worth your time?

Occupation is such an imperative yet misconstrued term. Many see occupation as a shallow form of just ‘work’. Fortunately, us OTs have our own definition (I mean shouldn’t we? It’s practically half of our professions name), which encompasses its true meaning. According to WFOT (2012), occupations refers to the everyday activities that people do as individuals, in families and with communities to occupy time and bring meaning and purpose to life. Based on this definition, it means that an occupation is not just work, it entails participating in anything that is of meaning to the person. The purposefulness of occupation is completely subjective, as what is purposeful to me may not be purposeful to you. Furthermore, another aspect in which we OTs use regarding occupation is occupational science. Occupational science is defined as studying the activities people do in their everyday lives and how those occupations influence and are influenced by health and well-being ("About Occupational Science & Occupational Therapy|  | Occupational Science and Occupational Therapy UCC", 2017). Based on the above theoretical knowledge, I felt that I sufficiently equipped to analyse an occupation of my choice in the community.

Walking around in the community, you tend to see many things that occur around you. On a typical day, you will see someone running after their chickens, a small child pushing a tyre across the street, school children walking home, elderly women sweeping outside their homes, community women washing their clothes at a communal tap, people braaing and selling mealies on the road side, 10 tuck shops in every street (no exaggeration here, and surprisingly they never repeat a name given how many there are!) and teenagers and children playing in the gym park. Observing these events in the community, I didn’t bother to look further into it; I just observed it and forgot about it. However, seeing as the topic of this week was to analyse an occupation, I decided to not just observe and forget, but to observe and analyse.

All through the week, I kept searching for the ‘perfect’ occupation, something that I could engage in and easily analyse. The perfect opportunity presented itself when I entered the school to carry out one of the group interventions. As I was walking in, there were numerous students carrying buckets of water. Some of the students were sharing the load, while others carried it on their head. What really resonated with me was the fluidity in which they carried it, even whilst laughing and talking. Curious, I asked one of the teacher’s about the reason behind the children carrying the water. The teacher stated that every child in every class has a turn to fill water in the buckets to place in their class rooms and the kitchen, as there is no running water. This was used for drinking, cooking and going to the toilet. Hearing this, I decided to help them out, after all it looked manageable!

My first thought when I was done was, “this is definitely not easy, what in the world was I thinking?!” Wow, was I out of breath! And that was only after one round of filling water! The taps were a good distance away, and some of the classes were on the opposite end over gravel and tiny slopes- definitely not an easy task! By the end of the task, the younger children were laughing at me (I would have laughed at me too, but sadly I was too out of breath to do that). I admit part of me was cursing myself for thinking this would be easy, and for not choosing something easier! In my breathless state, I thought to myself, how did they manage this? How do they manage to stay so happy while they carry this load between them? It was definitely not an easy feat. I asked one of the older students, replied: “this is a necessity to us; we need the water, especially during the warmer days. Many of us do not mind doing this, and it does not take much effort as we are used to it. We actually see it as something fun and a break from the class!” Hearing this really piqued my interest. Here I was entering this activity with the notion it was easy or just another aspect of my academics to do. Little did I know, there were so many components to it- my one tracked mind only had one goal, and that was just to get this done. And this is when my ammo on occupational science came in handy!

Looking at the occupation itself, there are so many components to it. It is not just carrying a bucket of water to the class. It requires stamina, strength and endurance (none of which I had), and it also required good footing, especially to go to the classes in the further parts of the school. When I carried the bucket, I helped one of the smaller classes, which were the furthest away. By the half way mark, I was ready to fall down in exhaustion and yet my younger counterparts were merrily carrying theirs. This variance in our reaction got me thinking as to why there was such a difference in our participation. The conclusion I came to was that firstly I was unfit as it comes, and secondly I was simply unused to carrying out these types of activities. At home or at the university, there are taps close by, there is no need to be carrying buckets around, hence I am unused to the physicality of it (obviously a more fit person would have managed better). Furthermore, this was a necessity for them, they had to work for what they wanted. Yet they did not see it as a burden, they took joy in carrying these buckets of water to their classes. It also got me thinking about our private or more resourced schools. If the children were required to carry buckets of water, they would not do it, never mind with a smile on their face! They will mostly likely have complaints from the parents, and thereafter hire someone to do it. The beauty of this is that this occupation has so many benefits. One of the main aspects, is that it puts a smile on their faces, they enjoy it. Additionally, it is a necessity to them, they do not wait for it to be handed to them, rather they take the initiative to carry it out. Furthermore, their occupation has many benefits in terms of better health- it helps to keep a person in shape, build their strength and stamina, making them healthier. I also found that it encourages humbleness amongst the students, as they are not doing this only for themselves.

Reflecting on this experience, I am displeased with my preconceived ideas of this particular occupation. Initially it looked easy and not something that’s a necessity, I was only able to acknowledge the importance of these buckets when I actually enquired about it and participated in the activity. Additionally, I had just engaged in it once; therefore I can only hope to understand what it means to them. I do admit, initially I did think as to why the children just didn’t walk to the taps, but I looked at the multiple children surrounding the water, eagerly filling their cups, and I realised this is part of their culture, this is also part of the reason they do this- so others could have some too, it’s not just for themselves. Based on my reflection, I realised that I had thought I was sufficiently armed to analyse the occupation. But I found that, as much as you read or research, you aren’t able to completely understand it till you’ve been through it. And even then so, you could only hope to understand.

As mentioned earlier, purposeful occupation is subjective, however it does not mean that there should be no attempt to understand that occupation. And this is what this analysis has taught me- if something possesses meaning for an individual, their happiness or feelings while carrying out the occupation is insurmountable. As much as we analyse or interpret, we can only understand, because we are not in their shoes, we are more of a visitor only hoping to understand. Who are we to assume that if it is not meaningful to us, it is not meaningful at all? Who am I to brashly decide what occupation is perfect or worth my time? The fact is that all occupations are worth our time, it just depends on the meaning we place on that time.

 References:

Hocking, C. (2000). Occupational science: A stock take of accumulated insights. Journal Of Occupational Science, 7(2), 58-67. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/14427591.2000.9686466

About Occupational Science & Occupational Therapy| Occupational Science and Occupational Therapy UCC. (2017). Ucc.ie. https://www.ucc.ie/en/ot/about/

 WFOT | About Occupational Therapy | Definition of Occupational Therapy. (2012). Wfot.org. http://www.wfot.org/AboutUs/AboutOccupationalTherapy/DefinitionofOccupationalTherapy.aspx

[my-ot-blog]

I once had a dream…

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them”

                                                               -          Walt Disney 

After 2 whole weeks spent in the community, I have come to the conclusion, that this may just be the death of me (I certainly am not being dramatic here). This community block is quite detrimental to a students’ mental stability. I mean, I was speaking to one of my friends, and I meant to say “dreaming” but my addled mind decided to make a new word “dreamting” (I honestly don’t know what that means). And I have been dreaming about advocating OT to the community (no jokes). Surprisingly through this dream, it sparked an idea. How do I make my life easier? How do I make a barrier so it does not enter my mind subconsciously? Why am I feeling the way I am? The answer I came to was get to the bottom of my role in the community. Get to recognise what I am actually doing here. Personally, I find peace in what is shown to me. I think I feel overwhelmed in this situation, is because all of this is up to me and my motivations- there is no set plan to follow. The fear of the unknown is getting the better of me. And thus this fear inevitably drove me to… a crap load of research!

And so in the wee hours of the night, I found myself searching, “what is community practice and what does it involve”. I kept searching, and yet none of the definitions resounded within me. I was so desperate to find the perfect definition for it; I even went to page 2 of Google! (Yes the desperation was real). After what seemed like eons, I finally found a definition that was somewhat acceptable to me. According to Minkler (2012), community practice involves working with the community, rather than for the community. I found this definition to be such a profound one. It is such a simple definition, yet it holds so much to it. And the beauty of this is that it can be interpreted in many ways. My understanding involves that community practice is having a collaborative relationship with the community member/s, rather than robotically providing them with the medical interventions they need. To me it means working with these individuals with no expectation of something in return (besides gratitude for giving you this opportunity to learn). Often, we as students display a sense of nonchalance and this often causes us to lose sight of the big picture and what our purpose really is as OTs. There is a major flaw in our mentalities when dealing with aspects relating to the community. We lose sight of who we need to become to do better, all in the name of performing well (academically). Additionally, we are so used to being clinical in a hospital setting; we don’t know how to be a ‘human’ OT. There is a lack of corroboration between the students and community members.  And this is all thanks to us not knowing how to fit in the community as OT students. Yes we may talk and engage with them, but are we really listening to them; are we even considering their words as valuable? 

And thus learning about community practice generated contemplation on the paradigm of hospital setting vs. community setting. According to Meyers (2010), OTs who move from hospital based setting to a community based setting are bound to experience challenges, as well as develop an appreciation for occupational therapy in terms of encouraging community participation. I find this statement to be the truest yet. For me, it has been a drastic change- from changing to a hospital setting to a community setting. When an individual is in a hospital setting, there is more focus placed on aiding in the maintenance of their condition to return home (which we don’t really know). However, in the community setting, I have noticed that their condition is a focus, but not THE focus. Focus in the community is more client centred, it is focusing on how you can help them to resume to their home environment and actually adapt it for them. For instance, a few days ago I visited a client in her home. I was completely freaking out, because from my brief encounter, she was relatively higher functioning. I was obsessing on my intervention when I hadn’t done any assessments (only a brief counter accompanied by students). That day, I spent an hour getting to know her and all about her life. And from that session, the OT in me began to peek out of the curtains. Yes, she was relatively high functioning and was managing quite well; but what about the other things she was not managing? Surely that is as important too. And when I asked her what she would like to do, she named me all the other things she could not do, for they were aspects in her life that gave her meaning, aspects which actually made her feel like she was part of the community. And this is when it dawned on me. This, this is my role here. My role here is to bring those aspects which seem like a far-away dream to her a reality. My role here is to help her feel that sense of belonging and fulfillment again. 

I think in a community setting, the role you play is entirely up to you. And my home visit client played a role in making me realise this. However much you have this perfect plan for your client, at the end of the day it comes down to what aspects they want to do and how you can help to reintegrate them. My initial sessions with the client showed me to focus on her ability rather than her disability. And I think I am still in the transitioning process to get to that ‘community OT’ (hopefully it will be done in a jiffy). 

After this particular reflective process, it allowed me to put together a whole picture, now including my understanding of community practice and my experience. It made me realise that my feelings towards this block are mainly due to a lack of understanding and fear of the unknown. This fear and lack of understanding stands in the way of my pOTential (see what I did there?!). Whereas I understand the barrier in my path, I think I still need a little time to actually remove that barrier, and the best way for that to happen is to let my inner OT bash it down (after analysing it using a model, AFR and approach of course!). Now that my dream lead to a brilliant reflective cycle, my parting question to you is… 

Are your dreams remaining just that, or is it becoming a reality? 

References:

Minkler, M. (2012). Community Organizing and Community Building for Health and Welfare.

Meyers, S. (2010). Community Practice in Occupational Therapy. Sudbury, Mass.: Jones and Bartlett Publishers.

[my-ot-blog]

Where is my sense of adventure?

“You will never truly understand something until it happens to you”

                                                                                            -Curiano Quotes

Before starting 4th year, if someone asked me what a community was, I would have proceeded to explain the story line of the comedy series called “Community” (it really is a tummy tickler). Now that 4th year is more than half way through and I have started my journey in the community, I think my answer has changed (quite drastically actually). So what is a community really? This is what I have been asking myself frantically before I began my community block. Is it just a group of people living in an area? Is it being in harmony or communicating with those around you? Is it helping those who live close to you? After copious amounts of research, I have concluded it is that and so much more. There are thousands of ways to describe a community, but I have yet to find one that completely encompasses the term. The reason why I have focused on the meaning of community was because I found that to completely experience or even participate in something, you have got to understand what it is first. And this relates to the above mentioned quote, how can you understand something that you have not experienced? Experience is such a subjective view; one can only sympathize or imagine the experience, but not truly understand. Thus I have concluded after much research that, in the thousands of explanations I have read, I realized that community is just that- a thousand components, multifaceted, boundless. And this theory poetically merged with experience on my second day in the community.

In all honesty, when entering the community itself (during home visits), I was a bit wary (okay, quite a lot)- and all the bad stuff I keep hearing about the communities kept running through my mind, and the fact that every individual whom I passed just stared incessantly, did not ease my tensions. I had never been this close to so many informal settlements and let alone interacted with anyone in these conditions; so naturally I clung to my group like a scared little leech. Once we reached the client’s home, I tried to gather myself and act in a more professional manner, and when I did pull up my big girl socks, I observed those surrounding the client’s home. Yes, they were blatantly staring, but it was not with contempt or disdain, rather it was pure curiosity. And that is when my rusty ol’ wheels began to spin. And it continued to whirl on my next visits. During the next visit, before we could enter the household, this child of approximately 2 years, barreled towards us and welcomed us with a warm hug (no I did not run in terror)- and it was such a refreshing experience of this tiny body clinging to you in excitement. Another visit which astounded me, was when we could not locate one of our home visit client’s, we asked one of the neighbors’. The neighbor had never heard of the client’s name or knew of her, yet he continued to search for her and eventually found her for us.

Looking back to those particular experiences, some people (uhm non- OT peeps) may think of this as dull or nothing to be astounded about. But that day, my thoughts were running wild, and the main one consisted of evaluating my perception of a community. If this community was so bad, then why were the individuals I met so welcoming to strangers. I thought back to the genuine curiosity on their faces, these people do not look intimidating or even harmful; like everyone they want to learn. They saw something out of the ordinary and it piqued their interest, and I completely overreacted over their reaction (internally of course) . During my thinking escapade, it hit me (I am pretty sure I jumped in my seat at the realization)- I followed the same old stigma of certain communities- if the majority of the population is a certain ethnic group or if they follow certain lifestyles, then they are a people below us or people to be afraid of. Furthermore, I realized I looked at them as an inferiority, I saw them as just a group of people just requiring our help in terms of their conditions. And in reality it goes against my very belief system, as a further OT and as a Muslim. Why I say that OTs should find this interesting, is that it holds everything we work towards. From first year, they drill into us “be holistic, look at the whole picture”, and this does not look only at providing intervention, this also means look where they come from, look at who they really are, not what people say they are.

Now that I am actually reflecting on my experiences, I am ashamed of how I acted. Ashamed of my professional behavior and my breach of morality. As much as my eyes have been opened, I am not oblivious to the many dangers that do occur in different communities, rather I think I have learnt to not focus solely on the bad- basically to view it holistically (the OT in me is sparkling!) A major rule in OT is to never let your feelings or opinions affect your treatment. Whereas it did not affect my treatment per say, it caused a barrier between they client and myself, because I let fear and inexperience get the better of me. I coloured them to be these individuals the media or secondary sources portray them as. We are so urbanized and used to listening to all these stories about different communities, that we have enveloped ourselves in this little bubble and kept on thinking we are better because of where we are. In reality we are not. Realistically, if multiracial individuals enter your home without warning, our first step is to lock our doors and then ask who they are or what they want. And at this moment, I realized that we as a people have difficulties in defining a community because we are so urbanized we don’t really know what it is like to belong to one wholeheartedly. We may be labelled by one, but are we truly part of one? (food for thought)

My thoughts inevitably landed to the title; where is my sense of adventure? After experiencing this week, I have discovered it cowering in a corner, overpowered by preconceived notions, age old stigma, fear and pure naiveté. I think I owe it to myself to save the poor bugger from being overpowered, I think it’s time for me to buckle up and go in wholeheartedly, and leave behind all negative connotations, to begin anew. My parting question to you is…

Where is your sense of adventure?

If you are in a community spirit, then please watch the movie called The Help. It is an emotional and integrative movie that teaches one many valuable lessons. or if you are more of a book person (like I am) then please read The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom. It is a historical fiction book which is extremely emotional. It does depicts a community in a more historical sense. 

[my-ot-blog]

The End...

Sunsets are proof that endings can often be beautiful too.

                                                                                                -  Beau Taplin

THE END IS HERE!! THE END IS HERE!! Nope it’s not the apocalypse! It’s just the end of a long long journey- psych prac. As mentioned in a previous blog, I feel sappy (sad+happy), and this is due to multiple factors. Wow… I am currently just reminiscing about this journey and how it has changed me, and made me improve as a person and as a therapist (sadly wiping a single tear).

Life changing, heart-warming, informative, adventuristic, phenomenal, are just some of the words I would use to describe this block. I loved this block, yes it took its toll with the workload and million other deadlines, and yes sometimes I felt like I was barely keeping afloat, but amongst all the waves, I have found some solace in this block, and that made me look forward to it every day. Looking back, when I began this block, I felt like I was this little child in front of this enormous mountain, and didn’t know how to go through it. I just stared at it in fear and the anxiety within me just grew, and a regular mantra played in my head, “how am I going to get through this?!” But here I am, at the end, finally through this mountain, and I am intact, in fact, I picked up some ‘gifts’ on the way, and now I realise that all that fear and anxiety was for naught, because I did it! And these gifts, included so many different qualities which I am positive will aid me being successful, not only next year, but in the years to come.

Leaving my prac venue was bittersweet. Whereas I was extremely sad to leave, because I have grown attached to my clients, and I had begun to build such great rapports with them (cue for another fall of tears), they have taught me so much! However I am relieved that it has come to an end, because now I can at least have a little break before the exam shenanigans. I really did enjoy this block, but I will admit that it has put a serious dampener in other areas of my life. I feel too tense and at edge all the time due to my rough times. So I do look forward to a break (cue to pulling out a good book).

Looking at the above mentioned quote, I find that it is such an accurate connotation. Most people fear endings, they think of it as something to avoid, because it generally means the conclusion of something good and then there is the unknown thereafter. But if you look at the sunset, which is a conclusion of a day, it leads to the next day, which holds unknown variables, which could be something scary, but it could also be something that could be beautiful and life changing! And just like that, I shall not mourn my ending of prac, rather I shall cherish my experiences and use all the gifts that experience has bestowed me.

Based on my newfound awareness of unnecessary fear and trepidation, I hope this will guide me for next year. I hope that instead of gaping at this mountain in fear, I would look at it with a smile on my face, anticipation in my heart, and a ‘challenge accepted’ mantra in my mind. And now due to this sappy end, I now pack up my dear old OT picnic basket and I shall resume after a hopefully long and relaxed holiday!

[my-ot-blog]

Words to live by

[my-ot-blog]

The jar of life

Surround yourself with people who make you hungry for life, touch your heart and nourish your soul

When reading the words, “jar of life”, I must admit I was confused. What in the world did it mean? Did it mean that we all live inside invisible walls and think the ‘lid’ is the limit? (Cue to the ‘I don’t know’ pose). Or did it mean something totally unrelated? Colour me intrigued! The actual representation of the jar of life took me by surprise, and it really got my abstract thinking wheels spinning!

[Brief overview of the story behind the jar of life:

A professor filled a jar with golf balls, and asked the class if it’s full. They replied with a yes. The professor then added pebbles to the jar, and then asked if it was full. Once again, they replied yes. The professor then added sand to the jar and asked now is it full? They said yes. The professor then took 2 beers and poured it in, and then asked if it was full. Laughing, they agreed. The professor proceeded to say that, the jar represents your life, the golf balls are your family, kids, health, and friends. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. He then stated if you put the sand first, you wouldn’t have place for the other things. And he related this to life. One of the students asked, what the beer represents; the professor replied, that no matter how full your life is, there is always room to share a beer with a friend!]

Aah sweet ol’ priorities! The main lesson learnt from this brilliant philosopher. Looking at his representation of life, I must say that my jar is waaay too full of sand & pebbles, and it is getting really cramped in there trying to fit in the others! I think the majority of my jar is made up of sand and pebbles, a few golf balls and almost no ‘drink’ (cos I don’t drink alcohol, I shall refer to it as a ‘drink’). The main reason there is such an imbalance in my jar is due to the demands of being an OT student. Don’t get me wrong! I love what I do, I feel a sense of purpose by actually helping others, but as usual there are sacrifices that need to made (such as a blooming social life). I have noticed that this year has been one of the most taxing so far. On most weekends I have to decline invitations from friends due to the amount of work that I have, or I would have to miss a family function due to the same reason. Whereas I understand that balance is one of the integral parts of coping and succeeding, I am finding it increasingly difficult to spend time with my family and friends, due to all the deadlines and stressors of my life. I honestly feel guilty sometimes when I tell my parents that I cannot come out with them, because of some deadline. And it is not like I am a slacker and leave work for the last minute. It is more to do with the workload. Not only am I neglecting my friends and family, but also in following my hobbies, such as reading and cooking. As time is going by, i am slowly reducing the amount of time I spend on doing things i actually like. It is like I have no escape because of my neglect, and it is as if I have nothing to look forward to sometimes.

I do recognise the imbalance in my jar. I am aware that too much of my life is spent on the smaller things in life (such as frantically and continually working), and not enough of time on the more meaningful things in life. It is easy to say that I am going to find balance, however actually carrying that out and trying to find balance is another complication. Sometimes I just want to just want to give up and stop trying, and let life take its course. But there’s this thread inside me just pushing me along. And it just makes me think of my ideal jar. My ideal jar would be to spend time with my loved ones, and actually enjoy it and not stress about my workload.

As much as I want the perfect jar, I also want to finish my degree and be out there. I know you never get what you always want, and I believe that whatever happens is just the will of God. As much as I feel stressed out at my current imbalance, I am grateful for the support I get that allows me to keep my walls from cracking, even though I sometimes don’t return this support. I think my life will get back in balance when I get a proper break (not due to university disruptions), and then I shall fill my jar will the as much drink as possible!

[my-ot-blog]

Article discussion

Aah the end of prac is drawing to an end. I am both happy yet extremely sad about this (sappy?). Naturally, I could not have gotten through this block without help (lots of it). There were so many contributors towards my journey, and besides supervisory help, research has made a tremendous contribution towards my understanding and success. During my research, I have come across some articles that have helped me to understand my client better. I am more of a browse through kind off researcher, but the following articles really pulled me in.

Article 1:

Addressing Depression through Behavioural Activation:

A Role for Occupational Therapy

By Sheena Kennedy

[Brief overview of the article:

The article speaks about behavioural activation, which is a derivative of the cognitive behavioural model. Rather than working on underlying thoughts, the behavioural activation targets increased participation in activity which holds personal meaning. This engagement allows for positive reinforcement which in turn elevates mood and improves the individuals’ thoughts to break the cycle of depression. This approach is widely used by OTs, and it has been proven to be just as effective as the cognitive behavioural approach.]

This article was an amazing and interesting read. What really brought me in was seeing exactly how effective it was, as I applied this with one of my clients. My client was diagnosed with PTSD and depression, and I was finding it extremely difficult to apply the cognitive behavioural approach. The client recognised her impaired thinking but simply did not want to change it. This frustrated me as I felt as if nothing was working- that is until I read this God-sent article! On reading, I felt excited, and an immediate need to go to prac (it was a Wednesday and I had to wait for Friday-longest wait eveeeerrr). This article has helped me to direct the treatment in the way that I do not focus entirely on changing the client’s thoughts. Rather I facilitate participation in activity, even though the client did not want to participate, she was forced to, and as she began to achieve small things during the activity, she has slowly been accepting the sessions and actually putting an effort into the sessions. That right there is proof of behavioural activation! This article also focused on how this relates to OT, and I found that to be such a help. Normally it is a general explanation, but this article linked it to OT, and I was glad that my profession had gotten some recognition. In addition, it also spoke of what you can work towards; this involved goal setting, breaking down activities, gradually making it more difficult and working towards improving participation. These factors directed my treatment, and I have seen a difference in my client, which really boosts my morale as a student. This approach receives so much more recognition. As a student I did not know it existed (I don’t know a lot of things that exist though), and I would love for it to become more known, as it could really help other students in directing their therapy.

Article 2:

Staff-resident communication practices in residential care

By National Ageing Research Institute

[Brief overview of article:

This article focuses on the importance of communication between residents and the staff. It speaks of how disrespectful attitudes can be communicated through language and speech (including the tone used). It also spoke about how due to their impairments, they tend not to take claims and requests seriously. This article also contained facilitators to the communicative process.]

This is one of the articles I came across whilst casually browsing. I don’t know what made me read it, but when I did, I was really glad. This article contained so many components that pertained to my client. My client is a paranoid schizophrenic, and she is prone to very vivid delusions. Due to this, not many people look into her claims or listens to her. At first I actually followed this pattern, but upon finding this article, it made me think, what if there is a sliver of truth in her claims? So I decided to do a check on one of them (the client complained that she had no toiletries, she couldn’t even brush her teeth). Upon this investigation, it was found that if they required toiletries, they had to ask the resident manager. The client was not aware of this and it added to her delusions. Using this as an example, there was a big miscommunication between the client and the staff. The staff should check if she requires this, not leaving it to the client. The article states, that a barrier to the communication is the assumption that their impairments always renders them incommunicable. And I found this to be of utmost truth, as I have seen this first hand. The staff do not take the client’s claims seriously due to her impairments, and I have seen how harmful it can be to the patient itself. This article contained many facilitators in rectifying this issue. However it is a very sensitive matter to bring into the light, so working from the shadows is how it shall be at the current time (by that I mean providing recommendations LOL).

The above discussed articles are just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many undiscovered articles out there that could aid in some poor stressed out therapist’ treatment. And one of the recommendations I will make is, RESEARCH!!! It is the fundamental foundation of learning, and it shows initiative and you actually care about your client.

[my-ot-blog]

Research day

I am so proud to see these individuals here today, standing here as these sophisticated and grown up individuals who have flourished under our care

                                                                                                -Prof Kitty Uys

*not directly quoted word for word

This week we had the honour (didn’t feel like an honour at 7AM) of attending the 4th year research presentations. I have to admit, I was not looking forward to it. Initially I complained like a little child about the compulsory attendance and I felt like there were a million other things I felt like I could be doing (uhh like sleeping). I was feeling stressed about prac, and new clients, as well as studying for an upcoming test. To me it felt like an annoying inconvenience, getting up early and listening to nervous students twitter on about their research. Pretty harsh and judgemental, but I was really not feeling it.

Upon the arrival at the venue, I got to say, I was impressed. The venue was immaculate and it really brought about the atmosphere that learning is taking place (that should have been the first sign of a good day ahead!). On entering I was blown away by the appearances of the 4th years. They were the first thing I noticed on entering. They were all dressed culturally and with colourful garments that demanded your attention. It was a very pleasant appearance. Just by their appearance, I became curious. Their dressing nagged at me! What could be the contents of their presentation that they would dress so curiously?! And then began the presentations…

I was mind blown. I mean as mentioned, I was expecting these nervous 4th years, to speak about some boring topic, which will put me off to sleep. What actually occurred was (I need to re-evaluate my preconceived notions!), the exhibition of each groups views; it was all these amazing experiences that each group had, put in a more educational form. And it really gripped me. Each topic just kept escalating in quality! And I absolutely loved the various dressings. I honestly felt jealous. They rose above and displayed such confidence and all the hard work was exhibited in the amazing presentations! Every presentation left me with something to think about (like how in the world do we bypass the standards they have set!). I was honestly astounded. Upon hearing the first presentation I put down my phone and really tried to concentrate. Not only so i could take tips for next year, but also because they were so enamouring!

Each presentation was incredible, but there was one that I really enjoyed. It was the one that spoke about the facilitating factors in completing an OT degree. The presentation was enthralling, as many of their findings; I myself had experienced it in my first year. I loved the way they displayed it to the audience and I felt like it was one of the main ones that could actually make a difference, having being there myself. Another lesson I have picked up from this day as a whole, was displaying confidence. You got to show this confidence to the audience. Yes in the inside you might have a butterfly dance going on, but you got to show the audience you confident, it’s what keeps the attention. As soon as the voice dips, so does the concentration.

There was one particular statement mentioned that piqued my interest. It was mentioned that the staff are so proud to be present, and watch as these once naïve individuals, have emerged as these sophisticated and mature beings. And this statement really got me. They as 4th years feel such relief and happiness at reaching this moment, but what about the effect of this moment on those who have guided and encouraged them? That day I saw what it meant to our mentors, I saw pride on their faces, and that itself is such an exquisite motivator. All their long, arduous hours have paid off, and the sweet relief was breath-taking. That day I also saw what an important support system the groups, and class as a whole was. It’s a vital part in getting through not only the year but the degree as a whole! I saw such kinship, it warmed my heart. And I really hope that we can have the same kinship (so far it’s been a smooth sail ), that stays with us through moments to come. This day has given me some exposure to what to expect, and I am extremely grateful for that (I feel like kicking my past self for complaining about nothing). It’s taught me about familial bonds, the incredible connection between the students and supervisors, and about the importance of research and how vital it is in our lives (I mean no research = no evidence of theories, hence a majority of our life is based on research)and how it actually affects our lives; and lastly to always be prepared for the one person who boggles your brains with the hardest question he can think of!

[my-ot-blog]

What I have I learnt on fieldwork block and about myself so far…

Sometimes the strength within you is not a big fiery flame for all to see, it is just a tiny spark that whispers ever so softly, “You got this. Keep going”.

Aah this psych block has been a whirlpool I tell you! With university strikes disrupting our schedule, it’s been a long stretch. Just when I got into the groove of things, holiday struck and in settled my laziness. Despite my 2 weeks of involving copious amounts of television and junk food, I am more than ready to get back on the road and continue the journey (cue for buckling up!). This block so far has been a very incongruous one. I just delve right in and then I am forced back out, this isn’t really good for experience hey. Nevertheless, I have learnt tons so far and I am eager to continue to do so.

As mentioned, it has been a very confusing block, but on every corner there were many experiences in which I learnt stuff about OT practice and myself (this block is revealing my true self I tell you). Part of what I learnt during this block, was much about theory and practice and their connection. When I sit in lectures, all I absorb is this theory that this is how a condition is or this is what you have to do. You don’t really have this visual that creates a concrete link in your mind. With this block I have accomplished just that. This was due to my client, as she presented in a very confusing way; every time I felt like I did something right that helped her, she would display another anomaly that made me feel like everything else was for naught. This really frustrated me and made feel as if I wasn’t coping. However after a certain debacle, and collateral information, I actually felt a little better because I landed at the conclusion (with lots of help of course) that the client actually had a differential diagnosis. Due to this I had to hit the jolly ol’ books (and lecture notes, much more accessible). And it then that I was actually able to link them, and I got to say, it felt good actually figuring something out and understanding it. Hence it has taught me the integral connection between theory and practice, which is one of the hardest things to accomplish sometimes.

There was another aspect which really struck me during prac. This was the volition of the client and their participation. My client in particular required extrinsic motivation, and initially she made negative remarks on the session due to not wanting to participate. However at the end, she always left the session with an elevated mood and a thirst for more. It made me feel really good about my sessions, and it taught me not to give up. Taking my client as an example, if I did not persist her to participate she wouldn’t have and at the end of the day we are not making a difference if we don’t encourage the participation. It also taught me to look deeper into the reluctance, and what I discovered was, this reluctance stemmed from fear of failing and low self-esteem. And this is where I also learnt how to implement my principles. Now, looking at the process as a whole, I am able to see the thin thread linking the different aspects that we learn, and I got to say seeing this thread is really self-satisfying. I felt as if I have accomplished something good and worthwhile, and it really put a stop to my ‘I don’t know what I am doing’ mantra.

A lot of my prac went by, with a certain mantra playing in my head. It generally consisted of- “I don’t know what the hell I am doing”, to “oh shit, what do I do now?!”It was a constant occurrence and I just kept second guessing myself. And it all stemmed from my lack of confidence in my ability. After a little pep talk from someone, I realised, yes I am allowed to freak out a little, but by second guessing myself, how am I supposed to help someone? In addition to doubting myself, I am consequently jeopardising my treatment. The pep talk actually consisted of much more but it was a wakeup call. Because I am being foolish for doubting myself and since then I feel as if a weight has lifted off my shoulders, I feel somewhat better about my capabilities, and this attitude helped tremendously during my demo.

Reading the above mentioned quote got me thinking about a certain aspect of myself. I am not a very assertive person; people may look at me as if I am weak or weird due to this. But I have realised that regardless of the way people are (passive, unassertive), everyone has a burning fire in them, which represents their strength. Of course not all fires are the same, but each person possesses one. And whereas that inner strength doesn’t have you moving mountains and discovering cures, it does lead us somewhere, places where we are supposed to be. And sometimes it’s just the little voice in our head pushing us up even after failure strikes…

[my-ot-blog]

Invited speakers left me thinking…

Learning is a gift. Even when pain is your teacher.

-Maya Watson

Throughout school, when they announced they had invited speakers to talk about a certain topic, all that was heard was a collective groan through the classes. Because the only thing more boring than sitting in an accounting class, is external speakers droning on about some topic which teenagers are supposed to care for, but frankly don’t. And to be quite honest, I expected just the same. You’d think university would change a person…

Surprisingly, when the day was over, bored wasn’t even close to the list of words I would use to describe that day. Inspiring, heart wrenching, motivating and thought provoking is amongst the many words I would use (hey! uni really did change me!). We had 3 guest speakers, who spoke about dealing with loss (compassionate friends), critical psychology and eating disorders. 3 very thought provoking topics which are extremely common. Whereas all topics struck a nerve, the one that really got to me, that really made an impression on me, was the first guest speaker, who spoke about compassionate friends.

[Compassionate friends is an organisation that helps individuals move on from the loss of a loved one. It’s a support group that helps turning the grief into something that will enable one to live their life even though they have lost someone dear to them]

The moment I knew I was going to learn a vital life lesson from this particular speaker, was when she started off by saying, “Just like everyone else, I had hopes and dreams…” Even though those words scream tragedy, it was her tone. Her voice was brimming with emotion, her eyes were sad and she appeared lost into her past. She had me hooked on every word she spoke. She spoke about the loss of her first child in an accident when he was 19, then the loss of her daughter in a stampede in 2000, the death of her husband 6 months later, finally retiring and expecting to enjoy life, but instead finding a brain tumour and had to undergo surgery and other complications at the hospital and then her final, remaining child having a heart attack and a near death experience by having multiple organ failure. My first thought was, how the hell did she survive all of this?! Tragedy after tragedy! According to her the only reason she got through it was joining compassionate friends after her son passed away. And if anyone has any doubts about support groups, should definitely listen to her story, cos they will run, hop, skip and jump to join after seeing her recovery.

Besides the fact that she joined a group, I was impressed at how she handled everything. Yes she did go through a period of depression and suicidal thoughts, but she came back from it. If you look at that woman today, you would never guess what she has been through, and that was a lesson itself, DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE. This this is common societal factor and it really affects people. At the end of her talk, I was left with a heavy heart and a sudden feeling of my problems aren’t relevant anymore. That woman earned my respect and my admiration that day, not only her but the group that she attended. She is the one story in many; just imagine what they must have accomplished. And I think it’s brilliant and it just shows no matter how much you have been through, there is always hope to turn your life around. She is living proof of that!

Her story made me relate to the above mentioned quote. Learning is breath taking; it gives us knowledge and eventually wisdom. You learn from mistakes and you learn from success. But sometimes, what teaches us is pain, what really makes us our optimum is pain, and what makes us better, is pain. And she is the living proof of that, pain lead her to seek help, it lead her to moving up in her career, it lead her to building a program to keep her streets safe, it lead her to being the leader of that support group and help others through their pain. (Cue for the waterfall of heart breaking tears)

Just because she was my favourite speaker, does not mean lessons weren’t learnt from the others.  The critical psychology granted me insight to the deeper reason of the strikes that are happening, and how everything is not as it seems. Also the talk about eating disorders gave me an inside look at what it’s like living and experiencing moments that drive you to a breaking point. After listening to the story, I feel angry at society who judge people with eating disorders. How can they stigmatise something that is not in their control? How can they judge people and look at it in a narrow minded field? If only they knew what goes behind the scenes.

I think that many people in society would benefit from listening to these people. And it all starts with the youth, as we are the future. We are the people who can make the change with our future before us and equipped with the knowledge to make this change. I aspire to be these people, who can say, “I survived, I survived through my pain..” because truthfully, pain is inevitable and it is one of the best teachers (unfortunately).

[my-ot-blog]

Casual day and what it has meant personally and professionally

There is no greater disability in society, than the inability to see a person as more.

                                                                                         -Robert M. Hensel

Today was a beautiful day. The anticipation for this day was totally worth it. It was one of those pre-event feelings where the night before you are unable to sleep, because of that excitement coursing through your veins. It’s was one of those events where you actually wake up with a smile on your face (despite the ungodly hour). What is the event? It’s CASUAL DAY!! (Whoop whoop!).

[A brief explanation of casual day:

So casual day is a South African campaign which exists solely for the purpose of raising funds for disabled persons as well as building awareness of persons with disability. It is a fun event that many companies, facilities and schools participate in by dressing differently or hosting events. To show your support of casual day, people purchase stickers for R10 which they wear on the day.]

I swear I can still practically feel the heady buzz of casual day! Simply put, today was amazing. With the theme being “up your game”, we held a series of novelty races, which involved face painting, laughing, screaming, and lots and lots of cheering! Everyone from the facility participated and whereas some did not participate, many cheered their peers on and it was just such an invigorating atmosphere. It was such an amazing experience, watching as students, staff and facility individuals all working together to make this day happen.

As amazing as today was, I have learnt a thing or two from this event. Firstly, always wear sunscreen on hot days if you don’t want to look like a weird tomato (I really do look like a weird tomato), and secondly, I learnt how important casual day really is for disabled individuals. Today, seeing all those smiling, cheerful faces, was totally worth getting sunburnt for. Yes some of them may not fully understand the basis for casual day, but the fact that they put so much effort into preparing and participating in this event was admirable. They may not acknowledge it, but they are actually celebrating themselves, they are showing the world their capabilities and making people aware of the fact that not all disabilities are visible. Society focuses more on the perfection of physical capabilities and rarely if there is any internal capabilities or disabilities.  They are so focused on appearance; they forget to look at a person as a whole. And that is what causes consciousness on the fact that they are different, or appear to be. And today was the day where these individuals celebrated who they are and well to be proud of it.

What today meant to me was how they showed their capabilities which were truly remarkable. Some individuals, who had difficulties in walking, participated in running activities, while some with extreme cognitive impairments partook in taxing races. It was not so much as reading the subtext. These people were subtly telling the world to “shove it”, they were telling them to look at them trying even though some of you think I can’t. The main lesson taken home from here is that no matter the difference between people, disabled or not, they are not defined by it. They are more than what people perceive of them and they will always be more than a label. In a professional capacity, I was proud, proud of my profession of choice, proud of the opportunity that has been given to me to work with these astounding individuals. People who show such compassion towards society yet society sometimes shun them. And it is part of the reason why I am here; to show society they are not their disability, but an individual worth cherishing.

And in those moments it dawned on me the reason we slog every day at campus, the reason why we put those arduous hours in to understand things that sometimes are really hard to, but we persevere. So we can help these individuals to show who they are and their capabilities.

Today was a beautiful day…

[my-ot-blog]

Success ✌

[my-ot-blog]

A reflection on blogging…

Self-reflection is a humbling process. It’s essential to find out why you think, say, and do certain things… then better yourself.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        -Sonya Teclai

Blogging is something I rather enjoy. Although my blog isn’t popular or read much, there is something comforting writing down your thoughts. After reading a newbie’s guide to a successful blog (I lie, everything is natural talent I tell you), I think I am heading in the right direction (hopefully in this case my direction senses aren’t as skew as it normally is). Nevertheless, popular blog or not, it is an enjoyable experience- even though sometimes I have to wrack my brains to come up with something that will save me from humiliating myself online (sort of been there done that unfortunately).

Blogging is a worldwide phenomenon; it is becoming increasingly popular with the rise of technology. More and more people decide to write about something they are passionate about, or simply about their daily lives, which people regularly tune in to like a TV episode! It is amazing how sometimes mundane things can be explained and manipulated in such a way that it changes peoples’ views. That is the power of writing. And blogging promotes this art of writing which allows you to delve into peoples’ minds, to swim in their thoughts and I think it is a precious thing to be able to experience peoples’ views- not in their voices but in the way they write, because it is one of the most vulnerable forms of seeing a person and who they are. This leads to one of the fundamental concepts which blogging stands for- self-reflection (dramatic music). Yep this is introvert turf (and I second that).

I believe that by blogging, you get to know a person, and what really goes on in their head. For example, with an introverted person, it is very difficult to really know them, due to their aversion to chitchat and interaction. But if you take the same person and read what they have to say, I am pretty sure people wouldn’t believe it because they don’t present in that way on the outside (basically they be like whaaaaaaaat?!). Similarly, with blogging, you are hearing what people don’t say in person, that is, you’re hearing their thoughts instead of their voice, which is a 100 times more meaningful. And just like reading a book, you are looking at someone’s creation, someone’s form of art which shows inner creativity.

With regards to my own OT blog, I have definitely learnt a thing or 2. The first is self-refection. Sometimes I would just write and suddenly stop and analyse what I had written. And rereading what I have written, sometimes shows me aspects of my thoughts which I didn’t know I had a particular feeling towards. Through this process I have learnt about myself, I have learnt that where I may be noncommittal in person about a topic, bring pen to paper (or in this case finger to keyboard!), I actually do have much to say on the topic. Another important aspect blogging leads to, is learning. Talking from experience, sometimes when I write I like to research the topic, to see what other people say and their views on certain aspects. And I feel like it gives me a good enough background to be able to compare the different ways people think. For example, reading other OT students blogs is astounding! We all talk about the same topic, but our interpretation and views on the topics are worlds apart; which is a really beautiful thing honestly.

A lot of people wish to blog and bless the world with their passion, but they have a fear of it being too stupid, or not popular. Whereas I wholeheartedly understand this fear, these people need to know that sometimes you need to take a leap of faith and hope for the best. Even if it turns out the audience is close to non-existent, your thoughts are out there, your inner self is shown to the world and whoever stumbles across it, will have a world to explore. Just because your drawing might suck (I can’t even draw a stick figure) doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t creative.

[my-ot-blog]

Movie Review

He’s a wallflower. You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.

You can’t just sit there and put everyone’s life ahead of yours and think that counts as love.

Today’s blog post is a fun yet heart wrenching one, a movie review! (Yay!). Normally I am more for the book reviews than the movie reviews, because to me words speak louder than actions. Words are, well infinite, and actions are limited (well to me). Nevertheless, I put the movie on with a tub of popcorn in my one hand and a box of tissues in the other (because this type of movie always brings about the Niagara Falls of tears), and mentally prepared myself to be moved (figuratively duh!).

[Sort of basic summary: Perks of Being A Wallflower

Charlie is a teenage boy who just started high school. He is as unpopular as it gets; he has no friends and his only friend had committed suicide the year before, something which he is finding hard to move on from. Throughout the movie we see Charlie forge new relationships with older students and step-siblings, Patrick and Sam (whom he falls in love with), who are quite eccentric and show this new world to Charlie. Although Charlie feels somewhat like he now belongs, he is haunted by flash backs of his aunt (whom he thought as his favourite person) who died in an accident and he thereafter continually had these blackouts. Charlie had this tendency to black out pain, and always put everyone else’s happiness before his. At the end we are shown that Charlie blamed himself for his aunt’s death, and in fact she was not one who brought him happiness, but rather she is the cause of his condition. At a tender age, she molested Charlie and he blacked out this tragedy to block the pain. Ever since then he blamed himself for everything bad that happened, which lead to PTSD and depression.]

Yip, a crying fest it turned out to be. My! What a rollercoaster that was! Throughout the movie I kept trying to analyse the main character and what exactly is his condition (I practically had a copy of DSM 5 to help with my diagnoses). Even at the end, it was not straightforward as to what was his condition. Based on the movie, what was established was that the main character suffered from PTSD, depression and anxiety. But they kept you guessing till the end!

Going back to my first quote, it is the one which I related to the most. Charlie is referred to as a “wallflower”, someone who is always on the side lines, observing but not really participating. And honestly I felt it so relatable because it is sort of how I am, whereas there is no tragedy that lead me there, it is what I prefer. And it is what he preferred too, until he was whisked into this beautiful new world of literature and music which made him better, which took away the depression and anxiety for that period. And the happiness he felt then, I felt it too. His demeanour was one of freedom, freedom of pain and burden. And it showed me how friendships and family really can lessen the load on your shoulders.

Another quote that struck me was the second one. For a person with depression or anxiety, they continually place blame on themselves, even if the situation is not related to them. Taking blame for uncontrollable circumstances really takes a toll mentally and physically. Especially mentally, as you are so focused on not messing up, so focused on making others happy, you forget your own happiness, you forget that you have your own life to live. It is the same regarding anxiety. You are so worried what everyone else thinks of you, that you forget who you are and you become this different person, sometimes someone who you don’t recognise. And then this fear grips you, a fear of how people will react to the real you.

This movie was so much more than starting high school and finding love, it had many underlying thoughts beneath every scene, which you have to really analyse, and it really gets you thinking (yep, my wheels were spinning). For instance, in the end, when Charlie’s friends leave for college, everything catches up to him; he has a break down, and he realises through these flash backs (and everything he blames himself for) what really happened to him, what was the cause of him being like he is. He finally realises that his aunt molested him and that was the beginning of everything that he felt. In that heat he tried to cut himself, which resulted in him being admitted to hospital and rehabilitation. At the end when he finally confided to someone what happened, people finally understood why he acted the way he did. His family was finally able to provide the support he needed, and that is how he healed.

This movie made me laugh and cry, it showed me how speaking about tragedy can lead to peace. How this peace can lead to new relationships built. The quotes from the movie really spoke to me, I found them to be so relatable (should I be worried?!) and welcoming from the usual. Whereas this is not my usual genre (I am more of a fantasy/ sci-fi gal) to watch, it felt somewhat revitalising to watch something different, to watch a journey where a simple boy with a tragic past moves from the shadows and into the light, a boy who became someone at the end. At the end he became somebody, not because of his popularity, but because of his participation.