đđđ��� đđđđđđđđđđ. 20. junior. aspiring sports photographer.
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odelaneyâ:
If confidence really is key, than Owen has been missing out on a lot so far. He met Ayla in one of his gen ed classes he honestly considered never showing up to. But, now heâs glad he did. She was distractingly beautiful and surprisingly didnât immediately laugh him out of the room when he struck up a conversation. She was one of those girls who he just felt natural around. It felt like the beginning of somethingâŚspecial. âAylaââ he says and shakes his head with a laugh. They walk across the packed quad. âCampus is dangerous atââ he glances down at his wrist. â6:37âŚPlus Iâm heading that way anyways.â He said tossing her a smile.
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     brows rise in mild disbelief at the commentary â honestly, if she weren't so intricately involved in the situation, owen's misplaced DEDICATION could even be admirable. but unfortunately, she very much is, and therefore lacks any emotion related to admiration in favor of annoyance. ( STUPID gen ed credits, she knew she really should have gotten them all out of the way by now ). ultimately, she elects to not dignify that with a vocal response, a sigh escaping as they continue the walk back to the new housing plot ; DINNER is calling, as her stomach helpfully reminds her, and she doesn't need to waste more fruitless time trying to tactfully ARGUE with owen.
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                 âđđđźđđđ˝đźđžđ: đ¨đđĽđŠđđ˘đđđ§ 2019â
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đđ: @carlsonfmââ
     the room has started spinning rather inconveniently and it makes it difficult for her to keep her balance in the stylish, low-heeled black boots her roommate had managed to wheedle her into. sheâs lost the roommate in question quite some time ago though itâs hard to say exactly WHEN, time slipping away with each pass of burning liquid down her throat. it feels late though, and ayla gets the sense somewhere through the foggy haze of her head that she should probably be getting back to her dorm â how exactly sheâs going to make that happen is a problem that hasnât yet been solved. she makes slow progress towards the edge of the room until sheâs halted unwillingly by a hand on her waist, a thumb brushing the exposed skin between her top and her skirt in a way that makes her shudder and NOT in a good way. a frown tugs pink lips down, and she shoves at the stranger with what she deems a full-hearted effort, but comes across as more half-hearted thanks to the effects of alcohol in her bloodstream.   â stop. getoffme, â   she mumbles, still pushing, but the hands donât retreat. theyâre still moving forward somewhere, and she stumbles a bit for what feels like the hundredth time.   â stop. â   she repeats. that unwanted touch on her waist is still there, and creeping toward places she really doesnât want them to be. she wonders, yet again, where her roommate got off too.
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#;; roo#alcohol tw#assault tw#ish#( i had too much muse#đđđ )#( she is now a Strong 5'5.5' alskdjf )
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đđ: @odelaneyâ
     aylaâs rather GOOD at fending off advances â itâs something she prides herself in doing rather kindly, or at least with only malice implied. but owen seems to not get the message, not matter how many times itâs strongly implied, and ayla isnât in the business of being openly negative, especially to those who havenât really done anything to her ; maybe in the end it was simply pity that kept her from putting a permanent end to this ( though that might be whatâs best for her sanity ).   â owen â â   the sun has slunk below the horizon, a beautiful sunset watercolored over the tops of the campus buildings, the kind that people hurry to pull out their phones to capture ; aylaâs never been the type to photograph sunsets though. a hand comes up to tuck a piece of hair back behind her ear, voice almost condescendingly patient,   â â itâs not that late ; i know my own way back. iâm not going to get LOST. â
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simay barlas as gĂśzde sariyaz. hayat bazen tatlidir.
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@carlsonfm
I Believe in Unicorns (2014) dir. Leah Meyerhoff
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hallefmâ:
    glossed  lips  turn  up  into  a  smile  ,  the  pout  leaving  her  face  now  that  aylaâs  agreed.  â  thank  you  so  much.  i  really  donât  know  what  iâd  do  with  you  !  â  she  has  used  random  excuses  to  get  ayla  to  help  her  before  ,  but  this  time  it  wasnât  something  made  up  on  a  whim.  the  photographer  that  agreed  to  help  cancelled  on  her  just  a  few  hours  earlier  ,  and  halle  was  desperate  to  find  someone  else. â  the  photos  are  due  by  the  end  of  the  week  and  i  could  have  done  it  myself  ,  but  it  obviously  never  looks  as  good  as  when  you  do  it.  â  halleâs  been  obsessed  with  aylaâs  photography  skills  since  they  first  worked  on  a  project  together.  she  captured  her  designs  in  just  the  way  that  halle  had  envisioned  ,  so  obviously  halle  wanted  to  work  with  her  whenever  possible.  â  yeah,  iâm  fine  with  moving  it  back.  whatever  works  best  for  you.  â  shoulders  lifting  in  a  delicate  shrug  ,  she  took  a  sip  of  the  cup  of  hot  tea  in  her  hand  ,  the  other  wrapped  tightly  around  her  sketch  book.  â  unless  a  miracle  happens  and  i  can  find  someone  to  model  by  then  ,  itâll  just  be  me.  itâs  not  ideal  ,  but  i  guess  thatâs  what  happens  when  you  wait  until  the  last  minute  to  do  everything.  â
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     ( TIME SKIP )     ayla strides around the studio barefoot, timberland boots streaked with mud left at the door along with her uncomfortably damp socks as to not mar the perfectly PRISTINE floors. brown eyes almost GOLDEN in the lighting take in the unfamiliar space, the gears in her brain grinding slowly to the right mindset. her camera clicks as she takes a test shot of the empty set, a frown drawing at her lips as she's evidentally not happy with something. a chipped navy nail turns a dial a minute angle, her thumb effortlessly toggling between sets with a different button.   " soooooo â "   she says, the single drawn-out syllable meant to catch halle's attention, though her gaze doesnât lift to find the girl in question. her hands pause in their fiddling to push back hair falling from her messy bun, probably nearing a state where the messiness fades from chic to just, well, messy.   " â tell me a bit about this project. what's the vibe you wanna convey ?? "
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#;; halle#( alsdkfj not to...#already use a time skip but#i figured this made the most sense sksks )
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carlsonfmâ:
      to say that roo was frustrated and restless was a severe understatement . he wasnât used to being on the sidelines during games , it was a tease that they let him take part in practices and scrimmages ; the early mornings were nothing compared to friday night games under the stadium lights , adrenaline from the crowd fuelling him to push another yard - faster , faster , faster . the roar of the crowd and his teammates rushing up to him in victory drowning out the buzz that the game had ended and they had yet again won . heâd stood up , sat back down , knee bouncing as he watched everything unfold and watched his replacement make every wrong move he wouldnât do - and perhaps he was being to harsh on him , but he couldnât help himself .  he rotated between that and pacing back and forth â coach shaking his head as soon as roo so much as breathed in his direction , knowing exactly what he was going to say  â put me the fuck in coach . please . â it was practically torture for him as he sat back on the bench , hair damp from the rain , getting back under the umbrella . thereâs a shift on the bench as heâs joined by ayla , and despite the situation he smiles â the girl momentarily distracting him from the game theyâre about to lose . he turns his body towards her , watching as dark strands fall over her shoulders . heâs tempted to push a few stands away from her face but refrains and instead feigns hurt before rolling his eyes ,  â iâm the VICTIM here . â he says , carding his fingers through his hair , roughly mussing it . the words come out dryly but he doesnât let it show that there may be some truth to it â punished for a crime he didnât commit , but heâd take the fall again if he had to . he lifts his shoulder in a shrug ,  â try FIVE . â he says , letting a breath out before his eyes swivel back towards the field , watching momentarily before heâs focused back on ayla . â we both KNOW  how this game is going to end , iâm sure youâve got at least ONE good shot . if youâre cold you can probably head out  . â he tilts his head towards the exit for the lockers ,  â iâve got a SPARE jacket in my locker if you need one . â he lightly bumps his shoulder against hers , dipping his head down slightly to meet her eyes ,  â  i need you at your BEST when i get back on the field . canât have you getting sick .  â
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     ayla holds his gaze with an unimpressed air for a moment before her head turns to face the field once more. she can do the math easily, and given anyone else, she might have very little sympathy for â but she well knows the situation and it's not one she agrees with ( though, she supposes she should be thankful roo is here at all ).   " five weeks is one hell of a cold, roo, "   she says glumly ; there's little heat in her voice though, and it feels like maybe she's not actually talking about herself, sub-meanings running amuck in the simple phrase. she considers the fact that FIVE WEEKS sick might not be so bad if it got her out of games like this actually, but sadly ( or perhaps FORTUNATELY ) she has other commitments to tend to that wouldn't be so fun sick. the plastic protectively wrapped around her beloved camera rustles as she hugs it closer to her stomach. not for the first time she laments roo's staunch loyalty : perhaps impressively his greatest asset and FATAL FLAW at the same time.
     " i'm not cold ; i'm annoyed â "   she begins matter-of-fact. her body betrays her a bit on that correction though. as if roo's voice had been enough to call complete attention to the fact, she very acutely becomes aware of how uncomfortable she is, even if by the numbers the temperature isn't quite nearly CHILLY yet ( consider this still SUMMER by her new england standards ). the denim of her jeans had soaked through before the first quarter had even finished, the dark fabric of her crop top doing little as far as protection either ; they're both clinging like cold compresses against her body and absolutely USELESS when wind cuts down the field in chilling gusts. a muscle in her jaw twitches under her skin as she grits her teeth in a valiant effort not to shiver. roo, she realizes, feels like he's practically RADIATING warmth, as if he was always just seconds away from being removed from a long day on the beach. it's temping to lean in just a bit to steal a bit more from him, but she remains stubbornly where she is, busying her hands with rewrapping the plastic around her camera.   " â and i don't give up. i'll just do it from here where itâs DRIER. "   and the company better, not that sheâd ever admit that.
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đđ: @hallefmâ
      â i mean, i guess i can â if you really canât find anyone else, â   ayla agrees reluctantly as she stares up at the much more put-together girl. she never did really enjoy shooting models as much as she did candids or sports, no matter how good people said she was at it. it was just too EASY, in her opinion ; too predictable, too boring. but ayla has also had a problem with telling people no sometimes, especially when they were giving her the look halle currently is ( sadly it works more often than it should, considering this isnât the first time sheâd be filling a favor for some mysterious photographer who had to cancel on the beautiful girl ). her hand tightens on the strap of her backpack, a glance stolen down at her watch, waterproof and cheap and from target.   â you might have to shift the time later, though â â   she adds,   â football practice runs until seven and then i need to grab something to eat. is your model gunna be okay with that ?? â   a brief pause, considering.   â â or â are you modeling your own designs again ?? â   itâs not a judgmental tone in the least ; just a valid question from a photographer â besides, no one could really dispute halle had the looks and the body for modelling.
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#;; halle#( starting to think ayla may have a tinsey crush on halle alsdkjfalskdjf )#( well#in the very least she thinks she's attractive alsdkjf )
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đđ: @carlsonfm
     ayla is always very united states post office in her approach to her work : neither snow , nor rain , nor gloom of night.... yadda yadda yadda â but she really fucking hates rain. by halftime, the torrential downpour has receded to the occasional sprinkle ; the damage has already been done though. she already more closely resembles a drowned rat, her bun already inherently messy, flattened to a tangled mess thatâs going to be a bitch to try to brush out later. it doesnât help that this might be the dullest game sheâs shot in her entire life so it feels like itâs not even coming close to worth being here and getting soaked in the process. ( itâs all part of the gig : she knows this somewhere deep down, but isnât up to dragging up logic right now ). her normally sunny disposition has dulled considerably, irritation a culmination of the weather, a terrible game, and the second string quarterback winking at her on his way off as if heâd done anything vaguely interesting for her to capture. it takes a lot for her to be the better person and not to flip him off.   â i blame you for this, â   she grumbles, having all but stomped down the sideline to where roo sits, budging in next to him to fit under the umbrella. a wince escapes her as she tugs the band out of her hair, wet strands falling ungracefully in tangled snarls down on her shoulders.   â at least youâd make it worth turning into a drowned rat. when are you back again ?? next week ?? â two weeks ?? â   her tone suggests that two weeks is just not acceptable.
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đđ: @thecsâ
     aylaâs always loved greenhouses â the way they were so full of life and so much potential ; the very air seemed to be teeming with freshness. sheâd live in one if she could. in fact, the only thing standing between her and the dream of turning her bedroom into a greenhouse was the simple fact she couldnât keep a single plant alive. sheâd finally deemed her last couple purchases lost causes a few days ago, the brown far far out-stretching what little specks of green may have been left. youâd think sheâd give up at this point, but this just seems to be one thing she canât let go of.   â this oneâs kinda cute, yeah ?? â   ayla picks up the plant in question, the tiny pot not even filling the palm of her hand. warm brown eyes wander to her company, hand with the plant raising to her own eye-level ( not even reaching theoâs chin, but that hardly perturbs her ). a chipped navy nail taps against the plastic a few times, brows arching to punctuate the question, begging him to agree, before drawing into a furrow.   â â and succulents are supposed to be easy , arenât they ?? â
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     [  simay barlas  .  20  .  female  .  she/her  ] just saw đđđđ đđđđđđđđđđ dragging their suitcase up the steps to đđđđđđ  .  good luck living with đđđ  ,  i hear that that theyâre đđđđđđđđđđđđ  ,  đ đđđđđđ-đđđđđđđ  ,  đ
đđđ-đđđđđđđđ  &  đđđđđđđđđ  .  makes sense the chose that house now  ,  doesnât it  ?  letâs hope this new living situation doesnât affect their đđđđđđ year of đđđđđđđđđđđ & đđđđđđđđđđđ  [  oliver  .  22  .  they/them  .  est  ]
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     sports run deep in your family. your grandfather, your father, your older brother : the triple threat of sports, each cutting their way through their own league ( the mlb, the nhl, and the nfl â RESPECTIVELY ). you were never as gifted as any of them athletically â good enough, smart enough, but nothing more than a decent athlete that could hold your own. no, instead you picked up a camera and this is how you fit in.
     AESTHETICS: she is like the summer nights when the stars are far away and the fire is dying out, the sunâs warmth a comforting memory and all the potential of tomorrow ready to be spread out before you ( worn out timberland boots, pink lipstick, short and flowy dresses, fireflies in a jar, a denim jacket covered in patches, the heat of a sparkler against your fingers, do no harm but take no shit, coy smiles because you want something, the smell of balsam and pine needles )
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â she was adopted when she was just under two years old from turkey when her parents decided they wanted a little girl, so the clearwaters have always felt like her family to her. she knew the greater part of growing up that she was adopted, it just never was an issue for her. recently, though, she has felt like she should reconnect with her native middle eastern heritage.
â  the clearwaters are a triple threat in sports : her grandfather retired mlb player and coach, her father a retired prominent defenseman in the nhl and current dartmouth menâs hockey coach, and her older brother michael ( 26 and always mikey to her ) is making a splash in his third year in the nfl as a wide receiver.  however, her parents made sure she and her brother had a ( fairly ) average âmiddle classâ bringing up, though they had their fair share of money in the bank. didnât have to struggle, really, but didnât get everything she wanted either. had a summer job scooping ice cream for two years in high school.
â grew up in norwich, vt, real big on nature and hiking and all that jazz. sheâs always down for an adventure and to go hiking.
â when she was ten she got one of those kidâs polaroid cameras ( u know the ones where the film is only a little bigger than a postage stamp ) and she was obsessed. she worked her way up through cameras over the years, having a natural eye for it.
â one of the first games she ever shot was one of her brotherâs high school football games which sounds sweet but it was actually because she was so bored out of her mind and wanted something to do. needless to say, though, that was the start of it. some might say it was kind of inevitable she gravitated toward sports somehow â she was a clearwater at heart. since then she has gained a lot of knowledge and respect for all different kinds of sports.
â for college she was torn between dartmouth, nyu, and halston. she ultimately chose halston because it was somewhere new, though the elite photography program at nyu was hard to pass up.
â her freshman year ayla was at as many games she could physically get it every weekend, shooting and shooting and shooting, until eventually the office took notice of her. her sophomore year she split time between the menâs hockey and football teams ( and a few other games of other sports where she could grab them ). a couple of her photos have been used for the banners outside the football field and hockey arenas, one across the header of the football teamâs website, and several in the yearbook, including a two page spread shot of roo carlson that sheâs very proud of.
â PROFESSIONALLY, she has managed to shoot a few kings, dodgers, and lakers games as well. sheâs held an internship with the la galaxy from the spring of her freshman year to early fall of her sophomore year. she then accepted an internship with bernstein associates, official photographers of the la kings, clippers, dodgers, and lakers, this past summer.
â she does a little freelance work as well ; mostly for friends or friends of friends, though sheâs been considering lately trying to make her skills and business available in a more professional manner to begin building an image for when she graduates. she does do a lot of photographing for herself â a lot of candids ; she thinks they capture the true spirit of a person moreso than when theyâre posing or prepared for a photo.
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â just got a new camera + lens ( nikon D500 + fancy zoom lens ) last summer as an early birthday present to herself. she practically become one with it over the course of the summer and sheâs rarely separate from it. that thing cost her so much money and is her baby okay.
â she hopes someday to be the team photographer for a professional team, hopefully in one of the âbig fourâ ( mlb, nfl, nba, or nhl ), and she thinks her prospects are looking very good.
â she played field hockey and lacrosse through high school.
â ayla thinks sheâs better at shooting people. part of what she loves about being a sports photographer is how active and unpredictable it is to shoot a game. sheâs had to learn a lot to try to predict what she can. they say you make your own luck and for a sports photographer that is true. part of it is down to chance, but there are things you can learn about the game in order to increase your chances of being in the right place at the right time.
â very much a morning person. has never had a problem waking up in the morning. typically goes for a run at sunrise, and has showered, gotten ready for the day, and is at a local cafe shop editing photos / making graphics and drinking an iced mocha by 8. truly couldnât be meâŚÂ
â you can often find her watching practices, not just to practice shooting but to learn more about what makes each team and player tick in order to improve her ability to predict their tendencies ( which in turn makes her chances of getting a good photo go up ). she takes her craft very seriously.
â she has a policy of not sleeping with or dating players on the teams that she shoots â itâs called professionalism, boys !! she likes to be respected and somehow doesnât think that sleeping with the players goes very far for her in that regard. that doesnât mean the players donât try, though...
â she has struggled a bit with people who think her opportunities have only arisen because of her family pedigree ( which some have gone so far to tell her theyâre ânot her familyâ â which, donât even go there, lads... ), and that has made ayla work all that much harder to prove that sheâd gotten where she has on her own merits.
â so desperately wants to be that girl with tons of cute aesthetic plants in her room but tragically plants always die in her care no matter what she does. probably has gotten one of those tiny tabletop sand zen gardens to make herself feel better tho she still keeps trying with plants. so far the only ones that have lived any length of time are the air plants. there is no hope.
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â sheâs generally well liked, with a hint of sass and humor. she comes across as a bit of an air-head at times, but thatâs part due to a persona she put on from a young age. she has an observant eye that drew to her photography in the first place and will often allow her to draw certain conclusions about people.Â
â ayla has a very down to earth outlook and approach to life, often taking things as they come. sheâs adaptable to situations, but manages to usually stay to the original path she saw for herself.
â sheâs well versed in all the sports she shoots, something that tends to surprise a lot of people, but how is she supposed to be good at her job if she isnât ? if she gets bothered during games she typically shuts people down with wide eyes and some obscure bit of knowledge in her cute, raspy lil voice. dareisay⌠elle woods, what like itâs hard ? energy ?? sheâs a hard worker, and strives for everything she posts or hands in to be perfect.
â a few of her downfalls include her narcissism and need to be liked. she looks to look and feel pretty, by her own standards, and is a queen of the self-timer and remote self photography : has two instas because of it â one for her sports photography and one thatâs a âpersonalâ and mostly just pictures of herself.Â
â her need to be liked is something she doesnât even realize. she likes to be seen in a positive light and it can on occasion lead to her agreeing to do things she doesnât really want to. at the same time this is constantly in conflict with her desire to be independent and be her own person.Â
â she also just believes that everyone just does like her because she is a likeable and very down to earth person â both of which are true for the most part, but reveals the blurring line she has between confidence and arrogance. she can be quite judgmental at times, especially towards those who are overly dramatic, but theyâre confined more to just thoughts than any actual voiced words or actions. in a way, this feeds into a sense of her own self-arrogance.
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â  alya stands at 5â˛3âł with a slim but athletic build. she has a runnerâs body, deceptively strong, lithe, and built for distance.
â warm brown eyes that look like theyâre laughing more often than not.
â her hair is naturally brown, but is dyed to have blonde highlights near the bottom. often styled half up & half down, kept down and loose, or in a messy bun.
â she does not need glasses or contacts and has no tattoos.
â piercings & jewelry: both lobes and cartilage. often wears simple black studs in all of them ; has an affinity for simple silver rings, often wearing two on each hand ; a black timex watch she bought for $20 at target thatâs waterproof
â style : sheâs almost always wearing the same pair of beat up timberlandâs sheâs owned since like sophomore year of high school. she likes to be able to move easily ( bc homegirl absolutely cannot walk in heels at all ). despite this, she also likes to look cute at the same time, often pairing them with short, flowy sundresses or skirts + crop tops. when she shoots games, however, sheâs dressed rather practically in skinny jeans, a crop top, and a cardigan ( if necessary ).
â PINTEREST BOARD HERE
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â pretty girl like you ( any ) : someone who does not understand why ayla is âwastingâ her talents on sports and thinks she should try moving into the fashion or modeling business. i donât think this is necessarily a negative connection â it could be well intentioned, or maybe it is truly just meant to be scathing.
â you & me were never meant to be ( any, female wld be real lit tho đ ) : an ex from her earlier years at halston. i imagine they broke up either before the summer of her sophomore year or early in her sophomore year. thereâs not much ayla loves more than her photography, and i think maybe they didnât understand. could have been mutual, could have ended poorly, could have just.... fizzled out. pretty open !! iâd just like her to have an ex.
â you just donât get the message ( male ) : someone who is just relentlessly pursuing her ( not in an overly creepy way, yâknow tho ). someone sheâs told no multiple times and yet he still keeps trying rip. â TAKEN BY OWEN
â my brother, what ? ( any, probably female tho ) : just someone who is a big fan ( honestly fan or like... fan đ, yâknow ?? ) of her brother and sheâs like please stop my poor ears donât want to hear this.
â and i just love to vibe ppl !! ayla is a pretty friendly and outgoing person so... letâs just have at it :)
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hello friends. oliver/ollie back here again ( 22, est, they/them ). i also play caz !!
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William Wordsworth, Book VI: The Church-Yard Among the Mountains, from The Excursion (1814)
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simay barlas in hayat bazen tatlÄądÄąr
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