musingsofafosteradventure - Tumblr blog

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Happy thanksgiving everybody! It was been a crazy sort of year but many things to be thankful for. Buying a house (hopefully sometime soon we will finally close), a great group of coworkers and a job I’m really growing into I think, but most of all the little red headed ray of sunshine that is Jack-Jack. He is my biggest blessing this year. Can’t believe how much this little boy has brought into my life. He will always be my first little man no matter how long or short he stays.

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Nothing like the first real snow fall. I love winter. It’s so cozy with warm tea and fuzzy socks. This is one girlie who could never move south.

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New daycare seems to be going well. Jack-Jack I think likes having other kids to play with and he is only a little bit salty at me for dropping him off. Townhouse has been a pain in the butt so who the heck even knows at this point what is going to happen. Dang salty old sellers are trying to play hard ball on fixing some stuff. I don’t have time for that crap.

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Motherhood... your 9 month old laughing at your plans to make day light savings time less miserable in the morning. Oh 5 am, how I so do not want to see you tomorrow.

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Happy Halloween y’all in tumblr land. So far this week I found a new daycare, agreed to purchase a house and made it out of trick or treating alive. How is your week going?

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1 year

Today marks the one year anniversary of my grandfather’s death. I learned so much from him. He was admittedly not always the best father in his younger years but he fiercely loved his grandchildren and was always there with a wisecrack and a helping hand. I notice small things all the time, from how I smashed my crackers in my chili today to the quick wit he passed on to all of his children and grandchildren. Love you now and for always grandpa. Thanks for everything you passed on to our big crazy family.

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Today... today sucked. Awesome daycare lady gave her two week notice so she can go back to her family business. I have limited options for centers in my area and all the in homes are full for ages. I work across state lines but my state doesn’t have the best reputation for paying timely so while I can go out of state they will probably balk at taking the stipend. This gives Jack-Jack another transition from a place he is comfortable with on top of potentially moving some time in the next few months away from Lemur, Giraffe, B and E who he loves dearly. I could tell maybe it was coming but was hoping to get all this house crap figured out first. I’m still already paying out of pocket because the case-worker hasn’t done their part to get the stipend set up in the first place. Jack-Jack is worth every penny I spend but good gracious it would nice if people just got things set up in a timely manner. I know I know foster care and all that but come on, he had been here for almost 2 months and I have seen my caseworker 2 times when my state requires technically like 6 visits in this time span I think. 4 the first month and 2 the second if I remember correctly. Plus he has asked for her information three times to do it.

Work has been crazy and I’m always the pragmatist in the subset of my department we are trying to get off the ground and my boss is getting annoyed at me. I’m not sure what you want me to do boss lady, my job is just to identify potential problems. It is not to fix them. That is why you make more money than I do.

Still stuck in offer limbo on the townhouse. Because yay for prolonging that torturous hell.

And the final icing on the cake, got a call from the aforementioned case worker. Visits have been suddenly suspended indefinitely for an undisclosed reason. I may be new at this but that sounds like no possible good reason could be the cause of it. Especially when he reiterated last week that they were committed to having visits and would remind Mom she needs to confirm so she can show she is attending. Poor Jack-Jack, looks like he is going to be here for a long while potentially. This part of care sucks.

This whole post seems long and whiny but oh well I’m going to indulge in a good fit on here tonight. Because sometimes, things just suck.

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Motherhood... your child repeatedly waiting to poop in a newly changed fresh diaper 😑

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Another Thursday, another canceled visit. This time it was because of a sick case aide or something. This means Jack-Jack has seen his parents like three times since the beginning of September and he is starting to get major stranger anxiety recently. I hope they bodes better for future visits than I fear it will.

No new news on the house front. My coworkers are going to probably hope I go for the trifecta and quit my job soon because of the craziness in my life. Thank goodness it has been abnormally slow this fall or my life would be even more complicated than it already has been.

The kittens have been a bunch of fun. I need a cat in my new place. But in like a year. So that I can regain some sanity first. Not that there is much prayer of that.

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So I am currently stuck in the world of counter offering limbo. This limbo world is basically my personal nightmare. At work I am a problem solver and get stuff done efficiently and decisively. I am only middling in the ranks of seniority in my department but I have earned a reputation for sound judgements and well thought arguements. In my personal life? Yea that’s a hot mess. I am basically the most indecisive person ever. Add in my choice to be perpetually single equaling not having someone else to step in and make decisions for me occasionally and my anxiety shoots through the roof.

Remind me again why I thought this was a good idea to buy a house 6 weeks after Jack-Jack showed up? Oh that’s right, because I have no regard for my own sanity.

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Put an official offer in on a house. Excuse me while I go nervous vomit in the corner.

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I changed diaper brands and we are diaper rash free. Fingers cross this helps me keep on top of it. Visit was cancelled yesterday so all quiet on the foster front. I am looking at buying a house so of course because foster care is quiet the rest of my life is crazy. E and B also got their kids kittens so we have two adorable balls of fluff running around the house. They are pretty hilarious and the kids love them, Jack-Jack included.

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This child’s diaper rash prone sensitive skin is going to be the death of me. About to go buy some Egyptian cotton diapers or something so his butt starts cooperating. His mom is going to be super mad if he has another bad one when I send him for a visit Thursday. Any miracle cures for diaper rash?

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Motherhood... double checking the baby you just literally laid down is still breathing because he is sleeping so deeply he looks dead.

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Visit day

I got a... less nice note today. It wasn’t terrible but definitely a significantly different tone than the last one. I am trying to not take it personally and I am bummed Mom didn’t see the pictures or note I sent either. Oh well I guess, this is life in foster care, try again next week. I feel strongly about reunification and Jack-Jack knowing his family no matter what crap I need to deal with to make that happen. I do feel bad because awesome daycare lady got dragged in and she was clearly bothered by it. Jack-Jack is still doing well and that is really the whole point of all of this even though I am whining and centering myself here. I still don’t know what I am doing half of the time but I won’t stop going to bat for him. He is so cute sometimes I cannot even handle it. He makes all of this worth of it.

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Motherhood... when you wake up in the morning and wonder how your hair dried and how much work it will take to fix it for a solid 5 minutes before you realize that a. You never showered last night b. You wondering this now makes it impossible to shower.

Alternatively, it is having to ask if you showered this morning to your roommate because I honestly can’t remember if it was this morning or yesterday morning.

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I've been following for a while and really enjoy your blog, just thought I'd let you know about 1 thing. "Differently abled" is not a term used by disabled people. It's really patronising and generally it's disliked. It's used by parents/carers etc to describe us, but it's not used by us. Thanks

You are right anonymous, I was in a hurry and trying to avoid details. I am in a profession where I do try and be very mindful of the specific language I use around the people I am working with so I should know better. Regardless, I will try and do better in the future on here. I think it is good to hold people accountable about the language we use and I am certainly not above screwing that up. Thank you for taking the time to reply.