music-keeps-me-sane

[music-keeps-me-sane]

"I Don't Know."

April 28 2016 4:50 AM

“Why don’t you just sleep at night?”

Because I know how many feet you need to drop hang from to kill yourself instantaneously Because I know that if I offed myself in the middle of the night, it would take hours before anyone found out Because during those hours, the world would continue to exist without me Because shooting yourself in the head is the most painless way to commit suicide Because I don’t own a gun Because it takes about 10-15 stories of a building to kill you on impact Because I’m afraid of heights Because the world isn’t actually affected by my existence Because I need to convince myself that I don’t care that people don’t care Because I need to convince myself that I need to stay alive Because I need to convince myself not to hate myself Because it’s too loud in my head Because my mind wont let me rest Because if I’m not ready for tomorrow yet Because the moon makes nice company Because I know that no one knows I’m awake right now Because it’s quiet for once Because I’m debating whether or not i deserve to live another day Because it’s not really my choice Because I can’t JUST sleep. Because sleeping doesn’t fix my problems but only fast forwards a couple hours right to them.

“I don’t know.”

[music-keeps-me-sane]

Believe me, I really understand why loving me will never be an option

I could never love myself either

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Things are getting worse and I’m just too tired to fight it.

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2 years down the drain 🙃.

TW: Do you ever do something that you know you'll regret in 5 minutes but fuck it. Me tonight. Had to restart my counter.

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i wish i could tell everyone how bad im struggling 

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there is so much hurt and sadness inside of me and i have no idea how to control it anymore

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this is the recovery bee popping in, gently booping your nose and landing on your shoulder to remind you that things will be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. you’re loved, you’re worthy and you’re important.

[music-keeps-me-sane]

this is the recovery bee popping in, gently booping your nose and landing on your shoulder to remind you that things will be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. you’re loved, you’re worthy and you’re important.

[music-keeps-me-sane]

My special talent is assuming our friendship is a burden on you and you dread hearing from me. So then I stop talking to you to ease the load and ruin what we had

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"If it's not drugs it's drinks, if it's not drinks it's things, if it's not things it's people," - Mothica

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I'm a cancer and it couldn't be more true

NEGATIVE TRAITS OF THE ZODIAC SIGNS.

𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑺. tries to do everything at once. doesn’t know when to stop & take care of themselves.  bends over backwards for everyone even if someone did them dirty.   has entirely too much on their plate. over-assertive. both insensitive and oversensitive.

𝑻𝑨𝑼𝑹𝑼𝑺. idealistic. spends a lot of time trying to impress others. doesn’t like to apologize. eating is a coping mechanism or just addictive personalities in general.   a tad co—dependent.

𝑮𝑬𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑰.  the most flip—floppy people ever.     what’s today’s mood?     never apologizes.   in denial 90% of the time.   their way or the highway. desperately needs a break.    has a hard time setting goals because their goals scare them.

𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬𝑹.  the literal meaning of  ‘i’ll give you the shirt off my back’. isolates themselves in fear of someone hurting them.   wants to change but is scared of change.   complains a lot but never takes the advice people give them.

𝑳𝑬𝑶.    no one takes them seriously because they feel they always have to portray themselves as the fun one.  is actually really sad inside.   honestly needs a hug. always exhausted.  a crackhead.

𝑽𝑰𝑹𝑮𝑶. can dish it but can’t take it.     rushes everything.    anxious.   plans their future but forgets to live in the moment.  sometimes ignores their friends because they have so much on their mind.    talks about themselves a lot & sometimes forgets to ask the other person how they are.

𝑳𝑰𝑩𝑹𝑨.   solves everyone’s problems but their own.     is actually really sad & lonely.  gets easily heartbroken but tries not to show it. will do anything to justify bad decisions.  honestly just wants everyone to love them but doesn’t really love themselves.

𝑺𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑷𝑰𝑶.   easily set off. will give anyone the cold shoulder at any given time even without reason.keeps a lot in.  so observant that they often times find out things that hurt them.too many  ‘what ifs’  swirling in their head.  has trouble showing their true self.

𝑺𝑨𝑮𝑰𝑻𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑼𝑺. impatient.   brash.commitment issues.   body issues.    doesn’t realize they don’t need to change for anyone.  has a lot of different goals to a point where they get overwhelmed.   just wants to disappear & do what they want without anyone questioning them.

𝑪𝑨𝑷𝑹𝑰𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑵.    scared people won’t like them unless they’re at the top of their game 24/7. it takes a lot for them to talk about their feelings.secretly struggling.     fake happy.    needs a plan but doesn’t know what that plan is.confident but insecure at the same time.   wants to be stable but sometimes wishes they could drop everyone’s expectations of them & live normally.

𝑨𝑸𝑼𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑼𝑺.  gets heartbroken like 30 times a week. trust issues. can be unmotivated & disinterested.   feels they have to adapt to every person they meet so they can be liked. doesn’t know how to tap into their emotions despite being very intuitive.  confused. expects little.

𝑷𝑰𝑺𝑪𝑬𝑺.  empathetic,  often to a point of no return.    plays the victim.     doesn’t know when to say no.     cynical. hermit.     is very impatient.    trusts everyone too much.     can be secretly very critical & judgmental.    can only tolerate maybe ten minutes of social interaction.     needs a lot of validation.

TAGGED BY: @effugeretm , thank you, love you <33

TAGGING: @sacrifinn / @ilaija , @bayoeu , @betrayher , @mariette & you ! steal this from me !

[music-keeps-me-sane]

Yeah to be honest I have an addictive personality. As in I'd probably get addicted to substances really easily. :/

[music-keeps-me-sane]

I have numbed myself so exceptionally well, that I am no longer able to feel the effect laughter and smiling used to have on me. I mean I can fake a smile, and I can fake a laugh. And when the moments passed. And I’m sitting there with a blank, tired look on my face. You would never be able to tell I was laughing or smiling five minutes ago, because I don’t feel it…I laugh but it never feels like I did, I never feel truly happy enough to laugh and smile on the inside…it’s so depressing to know Happiness has no effect on me, I can laugh and smile to please everyone but myself…