murphymakestherules

[murphymakestherules]

Bigotry agaisnt trans men is spreading so I want to send some love to the transmasc community.

I love you trans men.

Love you trans men who don't pass.

Love you trans men who will never pass.

Love you trans men who don't want to pass.

Love you poc trans men.

Love you gay trans men.

Love you lesbian trans men.

Love you straight trans men.

Love you bi trans men.

Love you ace trans men.

Love you Jewish trans men.

Love you atheist trans men.

Love you pagan trans men.

Love you trans men with breasts.

Love you trans men who aren't on T yet.

Love you trans men who'll never be on T.

Love you mentally in trans men.

Love you unmedicated mentally ill trans men.

Love you trans men who self harm.

Love you trans men who've thought about ending their lives.

Love you trans men with cringe interests.

Love you trans men who dress in ways people consider cringe.

Love you trans men who'll never have sex.

Love you trans men who have a lot of sex.

Love you trans men who are sex workers.

Love you trans men who've had abortions.

Love you feminine trans men.

Love you butch trans men.

Love you trans men who still consider themselves cute and pretty.

Love you trans men who aren't physically attractive.

Love you trans men who hate being called cute or pretty.

I love you. I love you. I love you. You are valid. You are a man. You deserve to be seen as a man. You deserve to be loved and cherished as a man. You deserve to be happy. You aren't made worse by your transition, you aren't a burden on the community, we're happy you're here, we're happy you're men, we love you.

Reblog this to send love to your transmasc followers.

[murphymakestherules]

[murphymakestherules]

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

[murphymakestherules]

Genuinely, what happened to “feminism is for everyone”?

That’s the feminism I grew up with: encouraging people to recognize that fighting sexism and restrictive gender roles helps folks of every gender. We’d push back on the idea that feminists hate men, pointing to inclusive feminist literature and how many men are feminists.

Now, there are so many people insisting that the solution to patriarchy is to openly hate and ostracize men no matter what. Why? What is the benefit? It’s certainly not effective in fighting oppressive structures to exclude half the population from your cause on the basis of immutable traits. It may feel cathartic to say horrible things about men and try to punish them for your frustrations with patriarchy. But the only actual effect I see is the increasing right-wing radicalization of young men, who are being told that the left hates them for the way they were born and presented with an abundance of proof that it’s true.

Why are we going back to treating men and women as different species? It doesn’t fix things to say “well women are the good gender and men are the bad one” this time. If you sincerely want to dismantle sexism, you’re going to have to unpack and let go of all sex and gender essentialism—even that which considers women inherently pure and men inherently immoral.

[murphymakestherules]

As someone much wiser than me put it, "If your goal in upturning society is so you can be the one whose boot is on somebody else's neck, you're not fighting for equality." And feminism is about EQUALITY. Not replacing patriarchy with matriarchy.

I want there to be fewer MRAs. Do you want that too? Do you want to know what helps us get there, from a feminist perspective?

You may not like my answer: acknowledge that sexism can affect men. Recognize that, although the patriarchy generally privileges men, they are also subject to restrictive gender roles that are harmful to them (shunning all things “feminine,” not showing emotions, being protectors/strong, never admitting being victims of SA/IPV, having to “earn” their manhood, etc.).

Give young men a place other than the right-wing manosphere to be heard about the issues they experience. If these grifters are telling them “only we understand how hard it is to be a man, the left hates you for your gender” and they look to the left and see “men claiming they have ‘problems’ are losers who just hate women, all men are trash,” do you think they’re going to be drawn towards or away from feminism?

Before you leave an angry response: no, this does not mean to center men instead of women in feminism, it just means including them at all. No, it is not “coddling” men to treat them with human dignity, you can and should continue to hold them (and every other gender) responsible for unpacking sexist beliefs. No, this does not mean it is every individual woman’s and feminist’s responsibility to prioritize men’s issues, it just means at the least not shutting them down when they do speak up about sexism. No, it is not “not all men-ing” to point out that “men are trash” sentiments hurt the feminist movement rather than helping it. Ask questions before you make accusations on this post, please. I have been abused by men too, I get it, this isn’t easy to hear.

[murphymakestherules]

It was too fast and easy and the votes have not been certified yet.

[murphymakestherules]

“in order to create loving males we need to love males” means teach boys that they can be themselves without being less of a man. it means being encouraging and nurturing of their emotions so they don’t become cold and hateful. it means showing boys, early in their lives, that they have value outside of what our society deems proper masculinity. what it doesn’t mean is that it’s our job to handhold men who see women as walking sex toys through the concept of empathy, and maybe if we’re really really nice to them and don’t say things that hurt their feelings they’ll stop killing us for saying no

[murphymakestherules]

Beneath the noble bird

Between the proudest words

Behind the beauty, cracks appear

Once with heads held high

They sang out to the sky

Why do their shadows bow in fear

[murphymakestherules]

It’s not conspiracy to follow up on mismatches.

[murphymakestherules]

"People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people. As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn’t measure up."

[murphymakestherules]

Don't stand with our enemies and don't push potential allies into their arms

B/c as prev said, we're all people. Humans. Homo sapiens. And that alone gives us more in common with one another than different.

All the shit going on is already upsetting enough but it rly is devastating to keep seeing posts bashing trans men for asking to be included in conversations about reproductive healthcare, trans safety and hrt right now, at a time where solidarity and community is so fucking important

And unironic posts along the lines of "don't forget to include trans men in your no-dating-men practice".

And a post about how trans men aren't safe to date either because they're rapists too with replies full of this

Gender essentialism will doom us all. The fascists don't even need to "divide and conquer" anymore because y'all are just doing that shit for them for free.

[murphymakestherules]

Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter

The media is normalizing Trump's victory by “blaming Democratic elites” and criticizing the Democratic campaign.

The defining feature of Trump's campaign was its appeal to racism, misogyny, and white supremacy. He pushed those themes despite pleas from his advisers to focus on the economy. Having campaigned on themes of hate and division, he won decisively. The most compelling inference from those facts is that Trump's campaign themes appealed to a broad swath of the voters who supported him.

But the media is (again) sane-washing Trump's depravity. Rather than acknowledge—or even mention—his dominant campaign themes in analyzing his victory, the media insists that Trump won because Democrats are “elitists” who somehow “alienated” major portions of the electorate or that Democrats lost because Kamala Harris and her advisors refused to run her campaign in the manner demanded by the legacy media.

Saturday brought a new spate of such articles—many of which were forwarded to me by readers who seemed to agree with the “I told you so” tone of the articles.

Okay. I’ll play that game. Let’s assume that Democrats made mistakes in the execution of Harris’s nearly flawless campaign. Let’s assume that despite the dozens of policies designed to help the working and middle classes, Democrats are not connecting with those voters. Even accepting those assumptions, the story of what happened on Tuesday is not that Democrats deserve a tongue-lashing by professional scolds.

The story is that America elected a convicted felon for the first time its history. It is that America elected an adjudicated sexual abuser as its president. It is that America elected a man who attempted a coup and incited an insurrection the last time he was president. It is that America elected a president who declares that those Americans who oppose him are “enemies from within.” It is that the man the media is currently lionizing has threatened to shut down CBS, ABC, the New York Times, Google, and other outlets that have accurately reported the truth about Donald Trump. It is that he has promised to fire the prosecutor who is pursuing two indictments issued by grand juries of his peers.

Here's the point: Choosing to write stories that “blame elitist Democrats” ignores the real story of what happened on Tuesday. That distraction normalizes the grotesque, existential threat of Trump's electoral victory. Trump could not buy more favorable and helpful coverage if he paid for those stories with Elon Musk’s billions.

The media again fails to comprehend the moment, much less rise to it. It is like reporting on the sinking of the Titanic by criticizing the viscosity of the oil in Engine Number Two. While the Titanic’s engineers might have used underweight oil, ignoring the iceberg’s role in the Titanic’s sinking is unforgivable.

The failure of the media is even more unforgivable because Trump represents an ongoing threat to democracy. Such petty, “inside baseball” reporting is fatuous under normal circumstances. It is journalistic malpractice in this perilous moment.

It is also insulting to the millions of Democrats who worked their ***** off to help elect Kamala Harris. While it is true that the Democratic Party has high-paid consultants and political insiders, they are the tiniest fraction of the party. The real Democratic Party includes Black women who staffed nearly every polling station in the South. It includes young, first-time voters who believe fervently in the promise of America. It includes retirees living on Social Security walking precincts despite aching knees and anxious hearts. It includes young married couples, straight and gay, who are desperately hoping for a better future for their children. It includes the out-of-work middle-aged mechanic with a pre-existing condition who worries about not qualifying for health insurance on the open market.

So, when clueless but know-it-all wags criticize the “elitist Democrats,” that is who they are criticizing. In fact, those who choose to criticize “Democratic elites” are revealing their profound ignorance of who makes up the backbone of the Democratic Party.

It is especially offensive to exhibit glee while chastising “Democratic elites” when most everyone in the party is experiencing raw emotions of bewilderment and despair over the fact that America would elect a convicted felon-sexual abuser-insurrectionist as our president. So, please desist.

There will be a time and a place to discuss how Democrats governed under Biden and how they campaigned under Harris. But rubbing people’s faces in grudge-settling op-eds by smug journalists is counterproductive, graceless, and offensive. Exhibit some empathy and humanity. Rather than explaining why you believe Democrats lost, consider asking someone whose heart is broken how they are doing after giving their all in the hope that Kamala would win and that Trump would lose.

I sometimes receive criticism from readers saying that my comments are “over the top” or intemperate. That may be true. However, Rebecca Solnit (of The Guardian) feels even more passionate about this subject than I do. For those of you who know Solnit, she is one of the finest writers of our generation. See her Facebook post, link here: Rebecca Solnit – F*ck the media explanations that Trump won because of the economy . . . . For those of you who do not have a Facebook account, I have excerpted the posting in a Google Doc, accessible to all here: Rebecca Solnit Facebook Doc.

Democrats tried to stop Trump. They lost because Trump’s feral instincts knew that a substantial portion of the electorate would respond to his racist, sexist, white supremacist platform. Sadly, he turned out to be correct—for now. But he is wrong about who the American people are. When more of them vote, his dark vision of America will be repudiated, and the arc of the moral universe will once again bend toward justice.

[murphymakestherules]

Why are British teenage girls so unhappy? Here’s the answer (Caitlin Moran, The Times, Sep 13 2024)

"The report, by the Children’s Society, found that British 15-year-old girls are the most unhappy in Europe.

British girls aged 10-15 are “significantly less happy” with their life, appearance, family and school than the average boy — and their happiness is still declining.

Boys’ life satisfaction, meanwhile, remains broadly stable. (…)

But I still didn’t have an “aha!” moment about why this so disproportionately affects girls until… I talked to some teenage girls.

It was at a party, and I went to vape with them on the patio. Because I take my nicotine like children do.

“Duh — it’s the boys,” one said when I brought it up, as all the others agreed.

“The boys?” I asked.

My last book, What About Men?, had been all about how much boys struggle these days: their loneliness; their suicide rates. I’d spent the past year feeling very sympathetic towards boys.

“Yeah, well, who do you think they’re taking out their unhappiness on? It’s us,” another girl said.

“One boy at school used to draw a picture every day of how ugly I was,” a third girl said. “Every day for two years.”

“They’ve all got ‘Rate The Girls’ polls on their WhatsApps,” the first said. “They mark you down for weight gain, haircuts, what you say.”

“But then, if you’re hot, it’s just as bad, in a different way, because they’ll be talking about how they want to f*** you.”

The girls discussed coping techniques. Bad news: none of them worked.

“The only way you can stop them is if you become ‘one of the boys’ and hang out with them. But then,” the second girl said with a sigh, “all the other girls call you a slut. Because you’ve gone over to the boys’ side.”

“Surely it’s not all the boys?” I said. “There must be some nice boys?”

“Oh, yeah,” one girl said. “But they keep their heads down. Because… well, look.”

She showed me the Instagram account of her friend. Under every picture she posted of herself — smiling in a new dress; with her dog — dozens of anonymous accounts had replied with the most rank abuse.

“Fat.” “Slut.” “You gonna try and kill yourself again, for attention?”

“They’re all boys from her school,” she said. “And look, this one boy tried to defend her.”

I saw a series of messages from a brave teenage boy, posting things like, “You’re all big men, leaving these replies under anonymous accounts.”

As I could see, this boy immediately became a target too. Mainly accusations that he was “white knighting” this girl: “You wanna f*** her, bro?”

“So,” I asked, “you don’t think it’s social media pressure to be beautiful, or the economy, that’s making girls so sad?”

“Well, yeah, them too,” the first girl said. “But, Monday-Friday, 9-3, I’m not on social media. I’m not… in the economy. I’m just with these boys. And no one talks about how horrible they are.”

I thought about another recent report, showing a 30 per cent ideological gap between Gen Z men, who are increasingly conservative, and Gen Z women, who are increasingly progressive.

I thought about Andrew Tate, who has nine million mostly young male followers — and faces human trafficking charges, which he denies.

And I thought: maybe these girls are on to something. Maybe more people need to vape with teenage girls and ask them for the school gossip."

[murphymakestherules]

Hey, the ACLU is getting people to send letters to your Reps to have Congress pass the No Kings Act.

This act would make constitutional amendments to ensure that even sitting presidents are held liable for their actions. That NOBODY is above the law.

Their goal is 150k messages sent and at the time of writing this they're about 2.1k off from that goal!

ACLU gives you a prefilled message that you can edit to send to make the process easier, and will send it out for you.

This only takes a few minutes!

[murphymakestherules]

I reblogged a comic the other day about a doctor watching House, MD and diagnosing toxoplasmosis, tagging it with "you're more likely to get toxoplasmosis from a salad than a cat". There's a story behind that.

I used to work in the kennel at a vet clinic. One day one of the vet techs came into the kennel in a tearing hurry, handed me two cat carriers, and said, "Find a cage for these two. Don't know how long, but you can put them together." And then she left.

This was not how that was supposed to happen. I had no cage cards--no names, no feeding instructions, no health information--they weren't on the schedule, and techs didn't usually intake boarders. Medical cases had a separate kennel, so a tech shouldn't be bringing me an animal in during office visit hours. But I had a cage in the cat room, so I tucked them in--two adult females, very friendly, apparently healthy.

Half an hour later the tech came back--with cage cards--and said, "It's okay, they're staying overnight and going home tomorrow." She slumped against the kennel wall and told the cats' story.

They had been brought to the clinic to be euthanized, to die.

These healthy, friendly, beloved cats had been brought in to be killed, because a woman's doctor, her obstetrician, had told her that they had killed her unborn baby. He told her if she ever wanted a child she had to get rid of the cats. He told her they should be euthanized before they killed any other woman's unborn child.

He said, with no evidence, that they had toxoplasmosis. He said that toxoplasmosis caused her miscarriage.

The woman was distraught. She had just lost her baby, she was dealing with the hormonal changes of the pregnancy loss, and now she had to euthanize her beloved cats. Fortunately no vet I've ever worked for will euthanize healthy animals brought in by a sobbing client without asking why!

The vet spent almost an hour talking to the woman, educating her on toxoplasmosis, telling her all the reasons her doctor was wrong.

Not all cats have toxoplasmosis, and even when they do they only shed the oocytes in their feces--they're only infectious--for the first few weeks. Most cats are infected as kittens and are no longer infectious as adults. According to Wikipedia, "Numerous studies have shown living in a household with a cat is not a significant risk factor for T. gondii infection,[61][63][64] though living with several kittens has some significance.[65]"

Most people get toxoplasmosis from raw vegetables, especially salad greens that grow close to the soil and are hard to clean. Raw or rare meat, raw seafood, and unpasteurized milk are also a risk.

Toxoplasmosis can be a soil-borne disease from feces in the soil. Gardening is a greater risk than cat cohabitation.

Toxoplasmosis infection is dangerous to the fetus in pregnancy, yes, causing birth defects and miscarriages. But only the first time the person is infected. If this this woman had lost her first pregnancy to toxoplasmosis--and the vet said it really didn't fit the symptoms--she would be at low risk in a subsequent pregnancy.

So basically the vet told the woman that 1) her miscarriage probably wasn't toxoplasmosis, 2) even if it was, she probably didn't get it from her cats, 3) even if her cats had given her toxoplasmosis, they weren't infectious anymore.

The woman kept her cats and got a new obstetrician.

Human doctors get a few lectures on zoonotic diseases--diseases transmitted from animals to humans or vice versa. Veterinarians get semesters. If a doctor ever tells you your animals have given you a disease, get a second opinion from your vet!

[murphymakestherules]

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping