mugknife

[mugknife]

Bruce: Tim, we need to talk about your last will.

Tim: What about it?

Bruce: Well, the fact that you wrote a will.

Bruce: Also, the only thing you wrote was "bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with the archaeologists lmao."

[mugknife]

Batfam hide-and-seek hcs (because I'm bored and this popped into my head)

Bruce: Invisible to the naked eye... until you turn the lights on. I like to think he's gotten so used to blending into the darkness that, as Bruce Wayne, he can't hide any other way (we can all see you behind the curtains, Bruce)

Dick: Constantly moving. I feel like he follows whoever the searcher is. It's fun to him, stalking them around the house like a predator hunting prey. Everyone hates it. He finds it hilarious.

Jason: Strategic, calculated, the same spot every time (but in different rooms). When asked why it's always the same spot, he goes on about having the tactical advantage ("This is hide-and-seek Jason, you don't need 'tactical advantage'")

Tim: Almost always found last. Why? He hides in the first room. Most people run out of the room, searching everywhere else first, because who would hide right near the seeker? Tim. Tim would, and does, hide right there. Why run when there's perfect cover nearby?

Damian: Anywhere up high. I like to think he's like a cat, always in a high place (bonus points if he gets stuck and needs help getting down). The rafters, on top of cupboards, anywhere he can climb up to. He also has the advantage of being the smallest, and he'll squish himself into the smallest spaces (if he fits, he sits)

Alfred: Banned from hide-and-seek. He finds everyone far too quickly, and no one knows how. They only let Alfred help if the game needs to finish (because saying "the game's over, come on out" will never work. If you hear that, the seeker is lying, don't fall for it)

[mugknife]

I sometimes imagine that Dick Grayson kept up with his gymnastics in a public setting so that he just. Goes to the Olympics as himself. Several times. Doesn't mention it to his family so there are just several possible avenues of this coming up like:

Jason, watching the Olympics: that could have been you doing that for your country, dickface

Dick: damn, I already won four gold, what else do you want

Jason:.....w h a t

[mugknife]

People from other cities: How can Batman keep training these child soldiers for his crusade? It's child cruelty and he should be investigated!

Gothamites: The children yearn to fight crime. At least the birds have adult supervision, cause I sure as hell didn't.

[mugknife]

Duke, filming a TikTok walking through the halls of Wayne Manor: “I’ve never understood why people want to know what it’s like living with the Wayne’s.”

He walks past a dark, candle lit room. Dick, Tim, Steph, Cass, and Damian all stand in a circle around Jason. They hold hands and rhythmically chant out the words to Smashmouth’s “All Stars.”

Duke: “Like, they’re just regular people doing regular people things. They aren’t aliens, you know?”

Duke cracks at the last second, laughing at their skit.

[mugknife]

The batfam trauma candy salad would go absolutely insane.

Dick: Hi. I'm Dick Grayson and when I was 8 I watched my parents fall to their death in front of me, then I had to move away from everything I love and spend the rest of my life in some weird American city. And I brought the sour gummy worms.

Jason: This is so stupid- my mother used to kick me out when he drug dealer would come over so I didn't see her spending our very small amount of money on drugs.

Steph *off screen*: what did you bring?

Jason: nerds.

Cass: I was raised to be a weapon, a murderer. I brought peach rings.

Steph: I'm Steph and My dad was an alcoholic who thought he could go head to head with batman and outdo the riddler. And I brought Reese's pieces.

Tim: I'm Timothy Drake Wayne and I had left the house to try and find some guy before he killed my dad, just for him to kill my dad when I was gone. I brought sour rainbow strips.

Duke: My parents are in a mental ward, high on joker toxin. No one knows if they'll ever get better. And I got m&m's.

Damian: I am a highly trained assassin and-

Steph: cut. Cut. Damian. Civilian identities. Ok. Restart.

Damian: My mother randomly dropped me on some weird man's doorstep when I was ten. I brought rock candy.

[mugknife]

Meteor Golem

The impact sent the soldiers scattering—then something came out of the crater.

Artist: Lake Hurwitz

[mugknife]

[mugknife]

[mugknife]

helen “trans people are perpetuating gender steriotypes” joyce is now upset that the scientific american is writing about how women were hunters too back in the day, not just mothers and caretakers. feminist win!

[mugknife]

of course you have blood all over you. and pronouns

[mugknife]

"Actually the autistic way of communication is the superior one and allistics are so stupid for expecting me to-" No guys I'm sorry, but the road to effective communication is to actually listen, communicate, accommodate to the best of your ability and try to find a middle ground, not to develop separate superiority complexes

[mugknife]

[mugknife]

They actually make physical media for a much larger percentage of movies than they ever did in the past. Often with a lot more care than any small release was treated in the early dvd days. Its just if you only watch streaming stuff or the big new recent box office hits you won't see that. It is so ridiculously easy to get physical media for movies that even 5 years ago you couldn't even find. Like yes Netflix is a stingy bastard but so many things are available on disc WITH special features than ever before

[mugknife]

Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix;  tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

[mugknife]

highlights of trick or treaters:

kid who took an eraser, tried to bite it, and put it back

little girl who told us she loved us after getting her treats

child who, when prompted to say "thank you" instead said a confident singular "halloween!"

vampire football player

one kid who so gravely misinterpreted the candy limit that we could do nothing but laugh as, instead of four things spread out from any of the buckets, she took four things. from several buckets. all at once.

one teenager who asked us how our night has been and when asked the same, took a look at the table and said "it just got a whole lot better" while rubbing his hands

kids are so funny