mrmontague

[mrmontague]

Strum Thy Heart

Have you ever wanted to describe someone that you really liked? Well here's a description of someone that I really liked... Tbh I still do but last week she said no... Idk if this is a rant, or just me pouring my heart out.. but either way here goes nothing...

Everytime I saw her, my stomach spawn butterfies. My joggers heart would race and pound like there's no tomorrow. My palms would often sweat if I ever sat next to her whilst we watch a movie. Her prescence was sweet and savourable, one that no one would want to fade away.

A sense of warmth would fill my chest, like a soft ember quietly burning, reminding me I was alive in ways I’d never known before. Her laughter, light and unguarded, would settle in my heart, as if it had always belonged there. Even her silences spoke volumes, drawing me into a tranquility that was both comforting and terrifying in its own way.

The way she did her messy bun would leave me mesmerized. It was something that genuinely made my jaw drop andmy heart flutter.. It wasn’t just the look but the way it felt like the world slowed down in those moments like a movie...

Yet, for all the brightness she brought, there lingered a quiet shadow, a feeling of unspoken distance. I’d catch myself hesitating, holding back as if the mere thought of reaching out would shatter the delicate connection we had. And so, I stood in the glow of her presence, basking in a light I was too afraid to claim as my own.

I finally found the courage to ask on holiday durring a run in the morning... My voice wavered, the words trembling as much as my hands. She listened, so I believed. But then she smiled—gentle, apologetic, and final. "You're nice... but... no. sorry...."

The loud silence that followed, my mind filling in the blanks with a dozen different endings, none of them good. The warmth in my chest flickered, and was replaced by a hollow ache that spread like a winter chill.

I managed a smile that felt foreign on my face, and told her I understood. And I did—at least, I told myself I did. But understanding didn’t make it hurt any less. It didn’t stop the butterflies from turning into weights in my stomach or keep her laugh from echoing in my mind long after she walked away.

We continued our run, step after step, stride after stride, the rhythm steady but the silence between us heavier than it had ever been. I tried to focus on the path, the trees, the occasional sound of birds, anything but the searing ache in my chest.

By the time we finished, the exhaustion of the run felt like a mercy compared to the pain that lingered within... sharp, raw, and nearly unbearable. I told myself it would fade eventually, that time would soften the edges, but in that moment, it felt like I was carrying the weight of the sky. A week later, (today), I still feel the same weight. My stomach sinks and the thought lingers. A fragile heart mourns and waits for it to heal.

fyi I posted this on reddit too.. just to see what happens