mr-mitosis

[mr-mitosis]

The only thing about my job that makes me happy is walking out the door

[mr-mitosis]

Hot take: dinner dates are actually wretched first date idea. I don't want your first impression of me to be clouded by how feral I'm about to go on this plate of pad Thai in front of me.

[mr-mitosis]

Here's mine

Repost this with pretty cloud pictures/art

With things blowing up rn, I think we could all use a bit of sky-based escapism.

[mr-mitosis]

Repost this with pretty cloud pictures/art

With things blowing up rn, I think we could all use a bit of sky-based escapism.

[mr-mitosis]

You can theoretically get bitches in Car Car Binx

[mr-mitosis]

I'm from a horrid reality where the stuffing at build a bear is an extra $5

[mr-mitosis]

[mr-mitosis]

guess who just got ✨dommed by the narrative✨✨✨

[mr-mitosis]

Wait so is that the spiders georg of tits????

[mr-mitosis]

You know it's a good day when 69 and 169 are your lucky numbers

[mr-mitosis]

I sexually identify as a hallmark movie

[mr-mitosis]

I think the next time someone asks what I identify as, I'm gonna say your mom's boyfriend

[mr-mitosis]

Ah yes, when nostalgia makes you want to buy your grandparents old, definitely haunted house on the hill.

I certainly will not regret buying my grandparents old, definitely haunted house on the hill.

[mr-mitosis]

People say "your head's stuck in the clouds" like it's a bad thing, but tbh the view is pretty nice up here

[mr-mitosis]

I do feel like I'm a main character, but that might just be the narcissism from my genetics creeping in

[mr-mitosis]

Step 1: make the gum

Step 2: profit

[mr-mitosis]

I don't even go to work to achieve what I want, I simply go to avoid what I don't want