mr-mitosis - Tumblr blog

mr-mitosis · 12 days ago

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I dont think I've heard the word "tarrif" this many times in a week since my early American history unit in 2012.

#two taco #tarrif

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mr-mitosis · 13 days ago

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If i were god, I wouldn't need scissors

#castration

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mr-mitosis · 14 days ago

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Yall I've been shitposting since before I could spell guarantee

#garanntee #gurranti?#garant?#aaah fuck it

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mr-mitosis · 23 days ago

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Anyone else feel like the velcro in that tactical velcro video??

#tactical velcro #aaaahhhh

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mr-mitosis · 24 days ago

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I stg, vegans were put on this earth to test me

#the world knows not #what i would do #for a chicken nugget

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mr-mitosis · 25 days ago

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Wench! Bring me my tacos!

#shitpost

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mr-mitosis · 26 days ago

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I haven't seen my glasses since I started playing merge dragons. -Loafy

#it has been #hours

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mr-mitosis · 27 days ago

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👉👈 do you wanna kiss under a burning flag?

#for legal reasons this is a joke #but maybe we can put our minecraft beds together #under the burning flag #shitpost

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mr-mitosis · 27 days ago

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I have a strong and sudden craving for teddy grahams

#those #cookies #hit different

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mr-mitosis · 1 month ago

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Someone could drive off I-5 and come crashing down on top of me in a metallic fiery blaze and I'd be the one apologizing for jaywalking

#en esta economia #we all #jaywalk #shitpost

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mr-mitosis · 1 month ago

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My plan has backfired.

I played dumb at work so management won't ask me to do things and now they actually think I'm dumb.

#be stupid at work #be smart at home #they think i can't count #shitpost

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mr-mitosis · 2 months ago

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Nothing speaks to the modern era like watching a beautiful sunset while placing an order in the McDonalds app

#mcdonalds #weather #clouds

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mr-mitosis · 2 months ago

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Am I the M being pregged?

#no but your mom is

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mr-mitosis · 2 months ago

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Listen listen

If you put food in the break room microwave DO NOT walk away and sit down somewhere to have a conversation with your friends. Your unattended fritata is eating into my lunch break, Jackie.

#ceos get shot for this #how can i live laugh love in these conditions

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mr-mitosis · 3 months ago

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Anyone else feel the need to become the funny conman from a 90s animated film? Just me?

#shitpost #anastasia #titan ae #firefly has the same energy

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mr-mitosis · 3 months ago

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Brother, if I can't have Dimitri from Anastasia, give me Cale from Titan AE

#or better yet #garrett from Quest for Camelot #fictional men #hit different

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mr-mitosis · 3 months ago

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Cavemen been sayin bingus since before god was real

#shitpost #happy thanksgiving #he has rizzen #tuberculosis

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