mothman-foreskin

[mothman-foreskin]

I am undesirable yet I am desired. I think that they're lying or I think that they're blinded. every kiss tastes like shame. we share saliva and emptiness and not always our names. cement drips into open wounds and it will always be like this. the clock in my room will always reach 4 am and the minutes will always reflect as pixels in my eyes. I'm going to sleep now.

[mothman-foreskin]

"it's good to get up early so you can see more of the day." who told you I want to see more of the day? I go to sleep so late because the nighttime is quiet and expects nothing of you. I dread going to sleep because once you fall asleep the next thing that happens is you wake up. and I dread waking up. I'm actively trying to see as little of the day as possible I don't wanna be prolonging this shit !!! my god

[mothman-foreskin]

everything is about reaching the ending except for the ending which is about wanting to go back to the start

[mothman-foreskin]

hey guys it's going really good right now and I just need to remember that it's all going to be fine and I'm going to be okay :)

nothing bad could ever happen and it's really all going to be alright

I think that the air is moving softly and the oxygen in my lungs wants to bring me comfort

I think that I can move past anything and tomorrow will hold my hand through the night

nothing is worth losing to and the warmth in my chest can't hurt me

[mothman-foreskin]

self-induced panic attack

but where is the panic

oxygen is fleeting

snowflakes dance across my skin

ants made of winter perforate the delicate mollitude of my arms

I am a mirror at first glance

the beholder lies within thine own eyes

perfect reflection, until tentative fingers create ripples across the surface

liquid silver, murky puddle, cheap illusion

I can never be you no matter how hard you squint your eyes

[mothman-foreskin]

i was a dancer in another life because nothing feels more natural than moving jerky erratic liquid smooth but alas. here and now in the dark of my room my only audience is blurred breath on the mirror and my only partner is god

[mothman-foreskin]

my eyes glaze over and my lips fuse together. I kiss medusa and she injects me with concrete Botox.

[mothman-foreskin]

the mortifying ordeal of being known? I don't agree with that. know me, please, but not by sight. perceive me as you would a concept, formless and incorporeal but with an understanding so inherent that it's woven into your subconscious. know me as an emotion, by the rhythm of my footsteps and not how loud they fall. you taste my thoughts on your tongue before I speak them. you don't think about crooked teeth or uneven lines.

[mothman-foreskin]

it IS violent

I get hit by the force of every planet in succession when you match my gaze

incomprehensible, unsurvivable

[mothman-foreskin]

and the guilt flows like warfarin through your veins. it keeps you bleeding until you have nothing left to give

[mothman-foreskin]

suddenly my teeth are made of spiders and I smile so wide as they crawl out of my mouth

[mothman-foreskin]

being in love with your friends is surreal it's like staring in awe at the moon and it suddenly blinks back and holds your gaze

[mothman-foreskin]

you swim in the ocean of my mind

revel in its vastness but know that you are the only living thing for miles around

[mothman-foreskin]

ur so sweet ur so sweet my GOD I could bathe in ur words like syrup and never age a day

[mothman-foreskin]

miss me with that apathetic nonchalance bs. we're going to kiss on the mouth and I will feel everything for the both of us

[mothman-foreskin]

I feel god gently snap each of my bones. the only love I recognise is a tighter grip.

[mothman-foreskin]

the grass wilts. the rocks grow sharp beneath my feet and the flowers drift away on the breeze. the earth softens only to swallow me whole and the sky sinks down to meet my embrace. I know not of a calmer terrain.