motherly-birdy

[motherly-birdy]

how my brain picks a new favorite character who sucks

[motherly-birdy]

I want to kiss whoever came up with the idea of coffee shops being little brick rooms on street corners at the edges of neighborhoods

Coffee drive-thrus are one of my favorite things rn

Look at these things.

Aren’t they amazing?

[motherly-birdy]

obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

[motherly-birdy]

Jason finds out what Bruce really thinks of him when Poison Ivy’s latest batch of pollen compels its victims to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. No, Dick, not quite truth serum. More like “spewing whatever’s on my mind right now” serum.

Bruce has just finished sharing the fact that he’s never tried Hot Cheetos yet desperately wants to, despite the shit Alfred would give him and the heartburn it would probably cause. He’s clicking and clacking away at the Batcomputer, trying to synthesize an antidote before he admits something more embarrassing than the time he made out with Oliver Queen in a broom closet at boarding school.

That’s when Jason has a bright idea that he’ll regret later.

“What do you really think of me?”

The response is instantaneous, given with no hesitation. “Baby. You’re my baby.”

Jason glares at the older man. He’s found a way around the pollen. Miserable fucking—

“Dick,” Jason snaps. “What do you think of Dick?”

“Acrobat baby.”

“Tim.”

“Sleepy genius baby.”

“Damian.”

“Youngest baby.”

“Duke.”

“Sunshine baby.”

This is getting him nowhere. Time to think outside the box.

“The clone boy,” Jason growls. “Kon or whatever.”

Bruce levels a flat look at his son. “Superman’s baby.”

“The little speedster fucker Tim hangs out with.”

“Fast baby.”

“Me.”

Bruce smiles warmly at him, and Jason curses internally when he sees none of the tells that usually indicate lies. “Bookworm baby.”

Jason curses again. This isn’t going how he thought it would, and now Bruce is looking at him the same way he does when Damian actually acts his age and falls asleep on the couch, face innocent and adorable. Fuck.

“Fuck you, I’m not a baby,” he grumbles. He could kick himself for not thinking of a cutting remark or a venomous barb, but Bruce is just staring like he wants nothing more than to wrap him up in his old Wonder Woman jammies and read him a bedtime story. Is this pollen making the old man sappy? Ugh.

“Move over,” Jason barks. He pushes Bruce out of the stationary chair in front of the Batcomputer. “Might as well help you with the damn antidote.”

[motherly-birdy]

It’s almost impossible to even mention anything on chris chan without someone asking you for more information on chris chan. I can not overstate how unimportant knowing details about her is. Can we focus on the decades long harassment and stalking campaigns. Can we focus on the guy who made like an 80 part chris chan youtube documentary. Can we talk about how documenting this much information about random civilians is horrifically unethical and continuing to distribute said information is participating in harassment. Can we let her be anonymous and unknown again

[motherly-birdy]

Younger writers. Please, just know that you could not skip to different songs on a cassette tape, that’s CDs. With tapes you pressed fast forward or rewind and prayed.

Also, VHS tapes did not have menu screens. Your only options were play, fast forward, rewind, pause, stop, or eject.

Y’all are making me feel like the crypt keeper here, I’m begging you 😭

[motherly-birdy]

Tim: Oh, Damian's tried to kill me lots of times.

Tim: There was one time when we were younger, he disguised himself as a case file, because he knows I love case files.

Tim: So I went to pick it up to work on it and he took off the disguise and went 'MBLEGH it's me!' and stabbed me.

Damian: *smiles fondly at the memory*

Dick: Damian, no stabbing your brothers.

Jason: There's a more important issue here. How the fuck was he disguised as a case file -

[motherly-birdy]

Let me introduce you to this concept: batkids pick a silly t-shirt of the week, in which Brucie will be “accidentally” caught by the paparazzi.

Dick, as a millennial he is, chooses something with mottos like yolo or jokes about coffee. He also has a special love for quotes and puns, which nobody but him finds funny.

Jason does not participate, because he refuses to think about Bruce more than it’s absolutely necessary. And if some t-shirt reminds him of his dad Bruce, well, he just passes by.

Barbara, although she has a wonderful sense of humour, uses her power to spread awareness instead. When an important social or political event takes place in Gotham and beyond its chapels, the choice is hers.

Cass loves matching t-shirts, because it makes her feel that she belongs. Every time it's her turn to pick, newspapers spread out the touching headlines like “Bruce Wayne was caught with his daughter in I'm with stupid t-shirts”.

Steph simply goes to the women's department and chooses one of those ugly Eiffel Tower or a rhinestone “princess” t-shirt. They're also usually pretty tight, and, trust me, the press just loves it.

Tim wake up and choose violence Drake prints t-shirts himself, always putting some brainrot words on them. That's how “what a sigma” and “skibidi toilet rizzler” appeared in Bruce's wardrobe.

Damian takes great pride in his t-shirts, because he draws pictures on them by hand. Nobody could convince him that it's not, in fact, a competition, and he has to make sure that he is winning.

Duke always gives Bruce some niche band t-shirts. Plot twist? These bands do not exist. He just creates them himself and then proceeds to gaslight people, because “what do you mean you don't know batshit on the rooftop? You, uncultured pig! Their music literally changed my life!”.

[motherly-birdy]

it’s weird to think how many mental disorders are diagnosed less by what the person actually does and more by how others respond to that person. like how in hysterionic personality disorder (off to a great start) a literal diagnostic criteria is the person’s emotions don’t seem convincing, which is obviously going to depend hugely upon a doctor’s personal bias. and in bpd, though it isn’t a criteria, you hear about clinicians diagnosing people based on the “meat grinder sensation” (feeling like their own insides are being ground up while talking to their patient), and with autism based on the “wall of glass phenomenon” (feeling like there is a barrier in reaching the person). they’re such weird ways to talk about people especially when the clinician’s own biases are rarely taken into account. 

[motherly-birdy]

[motherly-birdy]

Battinson and Dick Grayson - quick drawing

[motherly-birdy]

Anyways I do think it's incredibly important for people who aren't trans women to talk about transmisogyny too, and to condemn it when you see it in your own social circles.

[motherly-birdy]

Everyone in the league is shocked when Batman turns out to be *the* billionaire playboy, Bruce Wayne.

Of course Superman would be too, but he looked horrified, shell shocked. Bruce simply couldn't understand *why*. He thought Clark wanted this. Most of the reason Bruce had decided to finally reveal his identity, was for him. He thought Clark wanted more than their rooftop kisses and secrets. And he was finally, finally ready to give him more. Show him his life outside the suit.

And he looked at him like /that/.

Bruce was once again wearing his cowl when Superman eventually pulled him aside to talk, looking uncharacteristically nervous in his suit.

"What do you need?" Bruce's gaze was cold and hard as he spoke, trying to brace himself for the imminent rejection, keeping his pulse as steady as he could, hoping Clark's superhuman senses wouldn't give away the dread building in his gut.

At the very least Clark would let him down gently. He would be kind. He was /always/ kind. That didn't stop the ache in his chest.

"You have kids?" The words came out with that same look of panic on Clark's face.

"It doesn't change anything, of course! I just, I didn't know. I don't know any of them. I understand why you didn't tell me-" Clark cut himself off for a moment closing the distance between them and taking Bruce's hand in his own, his grip like iron. Bruce had never seen him so nervous.

"I want to meet them. Please. I will be the best I can be for them. For you." Clark met his gaze, and Bruce realized two things.

One, he was an idiot to think Clark would reject him.

Two, he was going to marry this man.

[motherly-birdy]

Dick definitely has a habit of hanging upside down everywhere. He doesn't do it with any specific intention, it's just a strange position that he finds comfortable. As an adult he still seeks heights, and there is an area in his apartment where he can simply hang upside down from the ceiling, he does this whenever he needs to think, or simply relax.

Bruce, of course, is used to it. This kid has been doing it ever since he arrived at the mansion, and he never managed to break the habit. Hopefully he stopped him from doing it at some gala.

Sometimes Bruce still looks up at the ceiling, expecting to find Dick hanging upside down, staring at him, or just thinking. Sometimes he actually finds him, and just smiles.

"Hey there, chum"

"Hey, B"

Not everyone is Bruce. Dick scared too many people, more than he can count. He doesn't care at all.

[motherly-birdy]

Very public and an obviously not fake Batman is Bruce Wayne reveal

But Bruce simple acts like this never happened

_

Reporter: MR. WAYNE, MR. WAYNE, WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THE FACT YOU ARE A FOUNDING JUSTICE LEAGUE MEMBER?

Bruce, head tilt, eyes squinted: .. What is a “justice league”

-

Reporter: Mr. Wayne, prince and knight of Gotham-

Bruce: why would I be “night” of Gotham? I would be 3:24 pm at most

-

Gothamite: thank you for the save Batman… or Mr. Wayne… do I call you Batman in the suit and Mr. Wayne when you get coffee on Wednesdays?

Batman: *turning around slowly* what the fuck is a Mr. Wayne?

-

Villain: ah, Batman, or should I say BRUCE WAYNE-

Batman: *puffing up* WHO is this ‘Wayne’ and why is he impersonating me

[motherly-birdy]

Duke spent all his childhood and most of his teenage years in a middle class family, so I like to think that he carried these habits into his rich life as well.

Example 1:

Duke: who the fuck is wasting our water? Do you know how expensive the bill will be next month?

Tim: Do you know that even if we had opened all the taps in the manor, Bruce would still have no problem paying for them for at least the next ninety years?

Duke, closing the faucet: yeah, what's your point?

Example 2:

Duke: It's literally a rip-off! Six dollars for a fucking yogourt?! Nah, let's go Cass, bet I can find an analog for three.

Cass, handing him the hundred dollar bill that Bruce gave them to buy two yogourts (he didn't know the price and just hoped that it was enough): ?

Duke, dragging her out of the store: It's a principle now, let's go.

Example 3:

Dick, accidentally dropping his phone: oopsie-

Duke, without thinking: of course, go on and break it. We are all billionaires here, aren't we?

Dick, pretty much confused: well, technically…

Duke: I see you, victim of capitalism.

He also constantly turns off the lights when someone leaves the room for more than 0,5 seconds, because it pisses him off.

[motherly-birdy]