mossavery - Tumblr blog

[mossavery]

since the old version of this post was flagged for ‘adult content’…

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the enby spectrum!

[mossavery]

Vignette from a Street

I was walking down a street the other day when I noticed something slightly odd.

A person sat alone in an unfinished building. It was just them, their rolling chair, and a folding table. The rest of that level was empty. Concrete floors, unpainted walls, the skeleton of the building visible in the ceiling. It was dark in there. The sunlight from the glass walls only went so far, and there were no other lights. They were more silhouette than anything else.

I wondered what they were doing. Then I decided it was none of my business, and moved on.

[mossavery]

Liminal mowed grass

I sit on a raised entrance to the sewers, only steps away from the edge of the mowed grass.

The sun is setting behind me, bathing the small, unkempt patch of forest that grows along the road in a beautiful golden light.

Nobody sits here. Nobody spends time here. They park their cars in the lot behind me, go into the convenience store, buy something, walk back to their cars, get in, and leave on the road in front of me.

Who is this grass mowed for? I guess the maintenance workers who may need access to the manhole I sit on? How often are they here?

This space is living. The power lines buzz, birds fly overhead, bugs and other small creatures move through the mowed grass, larger creatures rustle leaves just beyond it. The wind blows, the sun shines. Other times, rain and snow dampen the ground. Does anyone care? Does anyone know they could care?

This place is a void in the memories of most passers by. It exists outside the bounds of their perception, or at least their memory. A space that, in some ways, barely exists.

But I still sit here. Listening, breathing, watching, perceiving, caring. This place exists in my mind. I guess, right now, the grass is mowed for me.

[mossavery]

just bought another book. oops

[mossavery]

the world really is bursting with beauty, isn't it?

this is just...on the side of some stroad. but look at it! all the little plants, and their delightful colors! life goes on, and beauty flows through everything.

[mossavery]

i need to fucking write more

[mossavery]

A Little Night Music

We sit under the light of the moon. 

Occasional birdsong carries through the night air.  

The traffic never stops, but is quieter now. 

A gentle wind blows. Cool, without the sun’s warmth.

Rabbits rustle tall grasses. In the distance, coyotes howl. 

Crickets, frogs, and other creatures call out together.  

Together, we listen intently

as the night musicians play their parts. 

[mossavery]

wrote this quickly this morning after standing in my room, literally wanting to let myself just...fall. not a fun feeling! it was nice writing about it though.

Falling

[mossavery]

Falling

[mossavery]

[mossavery]

Wonderstruck at the DFW Founder's Plaza

There was a night, a few years ago now, that was important to my life at the time. I hope I can find the words to share it. If only for the sake of my own sentimentality, I feel it's worth sharing.

That night, I found myself at a small park just outside the DFW airport called the DFW founder's plaza. I had been driven to the founder's plaza by my friend, who I was staying with at the time to avoid my transphobic and right-wing father. Living with him—and to a lesser extent the rest of my family—was a nightmare. I needed to go somewhere else.

That night, me and my friend had gotten restless. We had decided to just get in her car and go. We hadn't fully planned to end up at the founder's plaza, but there we were anyway, gazing at the many lights of the airport, and the airplanes, and the cars, in the cold. It was magical.

Something about that night really captured the feeling of my life during that period. The constellation of airport lights, set against the darkness of the land in front of us and the night sky above us. The chill of the air around us. The thrill of being somewhere just to be there. Just because we could. The atmosphere was filled with…Wonder. That's the word I'm looking for.

My life was full of wonder. I was in a tough spot, but I was making progress. I was finding myself, and my future. I was in awe of the endless possibilities. I was restless. I wanted to go, and do, just for the sake of going and doing. I saw so much beauty in everything. In the leaves falling. In my search for stability and meaning. In my—at the time—fruitless search for a job, as weird as that may sound. In the hospitality of my friend and her family. In my struggle to find a place to live where I wasn't a burden. All that was in the chill of the air, in the roar of airplane engines, in the constellations of lights, and in the darkness surrounding us. I was wonderstruck by the enormity of it all.

The cold eventually drove us away. We went back to her house, and went to sleep. I don't remember the day after. It was just another day, most likely. I would move out of this friend's house and into another friend's house soon after, and then to another city with my mom (and without my dad) after that. I lost sight of the wonder I felt that night. I guess that's part of the reason I'm writing this.

To find it again.

[mossavery]

fun fact! I hand-wrote this poem on my tablet, then used the handwriting to text function to turn it into text. This is what it originally looked like:

and this is what the handwriting to text program outputted:

like an eye

A glowing eye, in the Lark.

The rectangle of light gazes aimlessly.

Nearly hypnotic.

Given Lepth... much more than it has

much more than it should have &

by my wild imagination.

I did obviously have to edit it a bit. not sure why it's so insistent that my lowercase d's are uppercase L's. Regardless, I think this is so cool, especially with how messy my handwriting is!

My Neighbor's Window

Like an eye...

A glowing eye, in the dark.

The rectangle of light gazes aimlessly.

Nearly hypnotic.

Given depth...much more than it has—

much more than it should have—

by my wild imagination.

[mossavery]

My Neighbor's Window

Like an eye...

A glowing eye, in the dark.

The rectangle of light gazes aimlessly.

Nearly hypnotic.

Given depth...much more than it has—

much more than it should have—

by my wild imagination.

[mossavery]

What is this feeling

The sun is long down

I should be sleeping...

But I feel safest

In the night's embrace.

[Image ID: The above poem, handwritten]

[mossavery]

wow I love being a writer so MUCH

[mossavery]

omg -ish is -ic but less solid and certain. which plays in to how it's used!!