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monitorsscrawlings · 4 years ago

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Jonathan’s Hair-Raising Halloween Adventure Ch.3

October was easily Jonathan’s favorite time of year. Between the extra lessons in (very simple) magical theory he received from his mother on top of the lessons given to everyone at school, the stories his monsters sometimes told him of Halloweens of yore when they weren’t being especially scary, creepy and crawly; and Halloween itself it was little wonder as to why.

But even with the usual seasonal excitement and mystique of the autumn season thrumming through his veins, not even Jonathan could hope to best his bed-time curfew of eleven at night. Or stifle the mighty yawn that left him blinking drowsily as he slipped into his Batman PJ’s and scampered off to the bathroom down the hall from his bedroom to wash up and brush his teeth before bed, at his mum and dad’s urging.

“Jonathan, are you almost ready for bed? You’ve been in there for a hot minute son, everything okay?” His dad called out a few minutes later as he mounted the stairs, the steps creaking with each foot-fall.

Jonathan hastily straightened up at that, having forgotten to finish brushing his teeth in favor of peeking under the sink and inspecting the bathrooms other nooks and crannies for monsters. The weird and worrying part wasn’t that there were monsters in residence, which was expected. No, the weird and worrying part was that he couldn’t spot any at all. At least not tonight.

It was always the ones you couldn’t spot coming that you had to watch out for the most!

“Sorry papa, I’m almost done!” He called out.

His dad let out a muffled sigh at that as he walked down the hall before giving the bathroom door a brisk but gentle knock. “Alright, well try to hurry up in there and finish brushing your teeth okay? It’s time for you to be getting to bed kiddo, it’s getting late.”

“Okay, sorry papa!” He called out again, blushing with embarrassment and feeling told as he quickly fetched and mounted the green steeping-stool in the corner, turned on the faucet taps, squirted a line of toothpaste on to his toothbrush and set about giving his teeth a good brushing.

Both his mum and Grunk said that strong, healthy teeth were important, and that he needed to make sure to brush twice a day, oh, and floss too. Drool had once told him that if he didn’t stink-goblins would infest his mouth and play polka-music all day and all night, but he was pretty sure they were just teasing him.

He still didn’t want to risk it though.

Spitting the foam in the sink and rinsing first his mouth out with cold water, and than his toothbrush, he gave his reflection a toothy grin before washing his hands and face with warm water and soap. Turning the sink taps off he snatched up the big fluffy towel hanging up by the sink to dry off with before throwing the bathroom door open, almost running right in to his dad, who quickly stepped to the side and peered down at him.

“All set and ready to go?” His dad said warmly, peering down at him over the rim of their glasses.

Jonathan grinned and nodded.

“All washed up, teeth brushed and everything?” His dad inquired, stooping down to ruffle his hair and give him an inspection.

“Yes papa!” He chirped.

“Well good! Everything looks in order, and your teeth look nice and clean; so off to bed with you now. Your mother and I will be along to tuck you in to bed in just a minute, okay son?” His dad Nathaniel said, before taking away the towel he was still practically draped in. “Oh, heh, and I’ll just hang this up for you. Alrighty Jon you can go, straight to bed now okay?”

“Yes papa.” He said with a nod, before he obediently spun on his heels and scampered quickly down the hall to his bedroom, hesitating for only a moment in the open doorway before making a dash inside and flinging himself in to bed with a muffled giggle of nervous energy. Bedtime with Grunk and the others made for plenty of scary fun and excitement, but if he didn’t want to get his ankles grabbed or get snuck up on and slimed or snatched and scared badly he still had to be careful, and to remember to jump in to bed and keep his feet away from the dark underside where his monster under the bed Grunk liked to lurk the most. Squirming on to his side, he quickly slipped under the covers and pulled his favorite dinosaur blanket and the beds light blue comforter close, tucking both up around his chin as he drummed his heels against the bed as he let out a nervous giggle, a cold shiver running down his back as he imagined the monsters hiding under his bed, inside his closet and around his room, just waiting for the lights to go out and the door to close so they could break loose.

He waited, green eyes wide as he peered out at the shadows and suspicious night-time shapes arrayed around his room, fidgeting and squirming under the covers, though he made sure to keep his feet firmly tucked safely under his blanket.

His mom and dad entered his bedroom a few minutes later. His dad placed a glass of water down with a clink on top of his nightstand, before moving to tuck him in to bed. His mom kissed him on the forehead and handed him his stuffed rabbit Poke, still warm from the dryer, her long wavy russet hair and the smell of leather, ozone and peat-moss tickling his nose even as she ran one hand through his hair.

“G’night son, we love you,” his dad said.

“Sweet dreams dear, we love you. Now try to get some rest,” his mom said.

“Love you mom, love you dad, g’night.” Jonathan murmured, feigning drowsiness as he closed his eyes with a smile and snuggled under the covers with his stuffed rabbit.

He listened closely to the sounds of his parents retreating from the room, his papa’s voice making him open one eye, squinting against the hallway lights.

“Want the door opened, or closed tonight?”

“Closed, please!”

“Heh, well alrighty. I’ll leave the hallway light on just in case though, okay?”

“Mmm, okay. Thanks papa.”

“Sweet dreams kiddo.” His dad said, shutting his bedroom door shut with a click behind him. Jonathan closed his eyes and tried to keep very still, though he couldn’t stop himself from squirming and fidgeting, first listening intently as his parents walked down the hall and away; then for the tell-tale sounds of his monsters creeping about.

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Either Krolli had been a little too enthusiastic scaring their kid—though really, who could blame him under the circumstances—or the boy had somehow gotten his hands on some soda-pop before bed. That, or someone must have let slip loose a hint or whisper of the big news to Jonathan when they shouldn’t have, because their adorable little human was being especially squirmy, bouncy, and energetic tonight. Not that he minded one bit of course; if Little JonJon had been in a sulky mood he might have quailed and been tempted to bail and put things off until another night, which would have been a dreadful shame.

Grunk smiled to himself in anticipation, ears perked as he kept himself hidden deep in the darkness under his humans bed, eyes wide and glowing bright, while the tip of his tail twitched restlessly back and forth. He waited patiently while his human scampered up the stairs and in to the bathroom after dinner to prepare for bed. And he waited patiently as his human slipped in to bed with a bounce, their incessant restless squirming making him smile wider still. And he continued to wait, keeping very very quiet indeed, when the boys parents came in to wish their son good night and tuck him in, before the boys father closed the door behind him with a click, leaving the room dark and full of shadows broken only by the boys nightlight and the spare starlight coming in through the uncovered windows.

The underside of the bed had begun to fill up while he waited: Sly rousing himself from his nap and slithering off to a more advantageous position, while Drool kept him company as they crawled to sit atop his head while they waited for their human to climb in to bed. More and more monsters joined them as time went by, many more surreptitiously taking up places hiding under or behind bits of furniture, and more no doubt gathering in the closet. Still, even with the door closed and the lights out Grunk motioned for everyone to keep quiet and still as they all waited patiently. If they started too soon the boys parents might hear or sense something amiss and would come right back up to investigate. Which would make for a very taut and awkward game of hide-and-seek.

Grunk didn’t want to chance Little JonJon becoming cross with them if he got in trouble for any perceived mischief or bedtime rumpus-rousing on their behalves. On the other claw...as much as he would have loved to bait their boy in to peeking under his bed to investigate a suspicious lack of monsters bursting out to scare him, or some other trick that wold tease the child’s imagination and irrepressible curiosity, he couldn’t imagine everyone else waiting patiently—and more importantly quietly—for him to pull such a thing off. Not tonight. The air was too thick with restless excitement and anticipation.

No, tonight would have to be real rumpus, and he would be the one to kick things off. He was embarrassed to admit to himself that he was also feeling a bit nervous. Not about scaring and spooking his human of course, that would have been ridiculous! No, instead he was feeling a touch of nervousness over revealing their plans to the boy. It would be a big moment after all, and he didn’t want to muddle things up!

The standard creaks and groans of the Sloan-families old manor-house mingling with the sounds of Jonathan’s stifled yawns and nervous giggles, along with the sound of them restlessly shifting and squirming around in bed the only sounds to be heard. Ten long minutes ticked by one by one in this fashion, before Drool finally broke the silence. The wait had clearly become to much for him to bear as he rolled all four eyes and began impatiently poking Grunk’s snout, letting out a muffled whining groan as he buried his face in to the monster under the beds thick warty neck.

“Can we start soon? I think Noose is starting to fall asleep on me over here.” Drool complained plaintively, gesturing to his snake-tail. Noose did look like they were about to flop over and take a nap at any moment, judging by the glazed look in their eyes.

Grunk couldn’t quite stop himself from letting out muffled snort of amusement in to the crook of one arm at that, before after a few seconds of deliberation he decided to relent. While patience and timing were key in this line of work, especially for a monster like him, being the boys personal boogeyman and monster under the bed and all, he had to admit to himself that they certainly couldn’t afford to just wait all night. A quick glance about showed that Drool wasn’t alone in this: already more than a few of the other monsters gathered with them tonight were starting to look both visibly bored and impatient.

“Heh, oh very well. Yes, yes, we can finally start. Mr. and Mrs. Sloan should be safely out of ear-shot by now. Just follow my lead, and remember what we’ve discussed.” Grunk whispered, flashing everyone present the ‘all-clear’ sign by making a circle with his thumb and fore-claw over his head before he shifted in to action, creeping in to a better position for the old hulk, growl and drool shtick. They’d do a nice slow build-up to start with before building things up from there. No need to rush everything after all!

Plus it would help give him a little more time to think about how to broach the subject to their human. Such a shame that he wouldn’t be able to indulge in some ominous drooling or some other deliciously gruesome theatrics to start the night off with, but needs must after all.

From under the bed Grunk rose into a crouch as he inhaled deeply, breath rasping from in between his teeth as his throat ballooned and his chest began swelling with air. After a minute of this he let loose with a long dreadful haunting moan, before with a bit of teeth-gnashing and the loud scrapping of claws rasping against wood he dropped in to a deep, gravelly bed-shuddering growl. Teeth bared in a wicked grin he arched his back back and made himself grow a few feet in size, the bed shifting and rocking gently as his tail unfurled from out under the bed to thump loudly against the floor, sending a mighty shudder through the room.

His human let out an appreciative shriek of fright at that, and even from under the bed he could both hear and feel the boy dive under the covers with an audible gasp that made him chortle heartily, even as he sent his tail to slither and rasp across the floor and over the lip of the bed to slither along the boys bed-covers.

Drool needed no further prompting from him to crawl out from under the bed with a slathering wet growl interspersed with unwholesome braying laughter, keeping low and out of sight as he indulged in a brief experimental tug-of-war to try and steal away their humans protective blanket before scampering away in preparation for his next scare-tactic.

With a series of moans, growls, and just a little bit of hissing and jaw-snapping he slowly clawed his way his way out from under the bed, his back and tail-spikes grinding against the bed-frame as he made the bed shudder and shift artfully once more with his movements. “Not scared of monsters under your bed, are you lad? Because if you are...” Grunk rumbled, a judicious trickle of green ooze bubbling up inside his jaws to slather out from between his teeth and down his chin as without warning he leapt free from under the bed and to his feet with a dull thump and rounded on his human with a gleefully bestial cry of “...I’m gonna getcha good!” His claws splayed and arms spread wide to snatch, his eyes glowing bright red like embers, growling and drooling hideously as he shifted forward, hulking in close.

Eyes as wide as tea-saucers and hair standing on end in fright, Jonathan fairly jumped out of his skin when Grunk leapt out at him. Letting out a noise somewhere between a breathless laugh of horrified delight and a high-pitched scream bordering on a squeal, his blanket already drawn up to his chin as he huddled safely under his bed-covers, Jonathan slid even further under the covers with a shiver until only the tip of his head and his eyes were visible. Squeezing one eye shut he squirmed and ducked away from Grunk, though the monster could tell his boy was smiling, even as they tried to muffle both their screams and shrieks of fright and occasional giggles of nervous excitement at his frightful antics.

Letting out a please growl and licking his chops with a loud theatrical slurp and snapping of jaws, Grunk ducked back down to the floor and away as he shot under the bed; creeping out from under it to Little JonJon’s other side with a stealth and speed that belied his size as he cleaved to the shadows, only allowing for the dry rasp of his tail slithering across the floor for affect as to the only hint to where he would strike from next.

They had all agreed earlier that he would take the lead tonight, though that had been a forgone conclusion naturally. Drool, meanwhile, would mostly act as his second and run support. That didn’t mean the closet-monster couldn’t ply a few of his own tricks or enjoy a little time in the spot-light of course; especially since it would afford him the opportunity to creep up on their human. Something that would have normally been much more difficult to pull off, what with how Jonathan was already on high alert for his next ghoulish surprise!

While he was busy giving the kid a good scare, Drool had scampered away to slip back inside the bedrooms closet, leaving the door cracked open by the barest of slivers. It was a gap just wide enough for the closet-monster to keep both their eyes and ears opened. A gap wide enough for them to watch and listen in on the proceedings and be ready to pounce in to the lime-light and give the kid a good scare of their own too, when the time came. So when he slithered away and repositioned himself, Drool was ready to make his move. First the closet door slowly swung open with a drawn out, beautifully haunting groan, the depths of the closet shrouded in inky blackness. Next, a whispery autumn wind blew out from the closet, sending a chill dancing through the room and carrying with it the smells of dust, dead leaves, and the faintly malodorous scent of something sinister and foul, before it died out as soon as it had started with a mournful sigh.

There was a heavy pause, as the sounds of things shifting and scuttling around inside the closet could be heard emanating from the darkness, before a myriad of glowing eyes of all shapes, groupings and colors blinked in to existence first in ones and twos, and then in threes and fives. Drool took the lead, eyes glowing bright and ears perked as he abruptly shambled out of the closet with a wet slathering growl, tail hissing as it reared up over his shoulder, all four arms spread wide. Other monsters followed in his wake from inside the closet like a parade of nightmares. Everyone had caught the signal—hard to miss it under the circumstances—and the rest began slowly making their way out from the Shadow-Ways, crawling out from under the bed and their various other hidey-holes around the room to reveal themselves, most content to simply watch and wait for now, while a few others crept closer in preparation for snatching at ankles, making bumps in the night, trialing limbs along the covers, or pulling faces as they preferred.

Dropping on to all fours, Drool scampered across the floor to leap up on to the boys toy-chest before leaping clear seconds before it burst open to reveal Sly, nimbly landing to cling to the bed-post on the left side, right by the boys head. Clinging to the bed with a slathering chortle and a toothy grin, Drool made a show of leaning in to inspect Little JonJon, eyes narrowed and one set of claws rubbing together as he pointed at his human with a third claw-tipped hand. “Ready to see something really scary and gross?” Drool asked gleefully with a braying laugh, before without waiting for a response he proceeded to use all four hands to hook his fingers in to the corners of his mouth while wrapped around the bedpost, leaning in over the headboard towards their human as he stretched his mouth grotesquely wide and let out a gusty roar, teeth and gums glistening wetly as slime dripped from his jaws and he bared both sets of teeth in a wicked grin.

Naturally, Jonathan let out a shriek of appreciative horror at that, leaning well away from Drool as far as the bed would safely allow even as he clutched his blanket tightly to himself while raising part of it up like a shield to ward away the closet-monster, smiling and shivering the entire while. Encouraged, Drool let out a braying laugh and proceeded to smush and screw up his face into something so ugly and grotesque-looking only a gargoyle would have found it appealing: snout screwed up and all four eyes bulging wildly while his tongue hung past his jaws and flailed about like a worm, groaning and slathering while playfully tugging at Jonathan’s bed-covers and making motions to snatch and grab at the boy while he was at it.

Grunk found himself smiling widely as he watched. It was good work, very good work, and Grunk was proud of Drool for giving such an excellent performance. Seeing his protege give it his all with such glee and gusto while having such fun with their human warmed his slimy black heart. He shook himself out of it a second later. Ah, but before he got distracted by sentimentality he needed to move; he wasn’t going to be afforded a better opening or a better distraction than this.

Repressing the urge to snort in contentment and give the game away, he moved with care to slide out of the shadows he had been watching everything so closely from, silently taking up a casual position leaning against the boys bedpost on his right side, looming over the kid even as he hunched down, his tail lazily snaking back and forth behind him while one arm hung over the beds head-board, claws a hairs breath from tickling the top of their humans head. Slowly and with great relish he proceeded to loudly sharpen the claws of his left mitt along the wooden bed-post.

Jonathan had leaned and wriggled his way so far away from Drool that he had very nearly rolled clear out of his own bed. As it was, his Little JonJon was leaning in to his stomach before he finally realized the monster under his bed was right behind him. The way he jumped before slowly twisting around to stare up at his monster, followed by the dawning realization and fear, and the way the kid gulped audibly before quickly twisting away to huddle in the middle of the bed with a squeak was simply delightful. And absolutely priceless to boot!

Grunk let out loose with a rumbling chuckle, a steamy wave if muggy air billowing out from between his jaws to wash over his humans face, his eyes glowing brightly and pupils narrowed in to slits as he grinned wide, wriggling the claws of his free hand at the boy. “What’s the matter Jonathan, you aren’t...scaaared, are you?” He teased, voice laced with a deep and gravelly menacing growl, his bat-wing ears giving a little flap as he hulked in nice and close, until they were almost nose to snout.

Jonathan let out a muffled little scream laced with what definitely sounded like another poorly concealed giggle as he ducked under the covers and leaned away from Grunk, least he fall victim to another bout of slimy, slobbery monster lickery-kisses from his boogey-monster.

“Well y-yeah...n-no one can scare me quite like you guys can.” Jonathan admitted after a moment, peeking out at both Grunk and Drool from under his blankets.

“Heheh, music to my ears.” Grunk said happily to that, momentarily lost in the warm glow of a scare well done, blushing faintly purple as twin trails of green smoke billowed out from his nostrils.

Drool promptly brought him back down to earth with a poorly suppressed snicker before letting out a rasping wet cough, reaching over to poke him in the shoulder with one hand, while another made a subtle motion towards their boy, Drool shifting back and forth on the bed-post with restless excitement.

“Hehe, hey, hey! Hey Grunk, wasn’t there something we were supposed to share with Jonathan? Something really cool, and exciting, and important? Oh! Can I start, can I?” Drool said, leaning over Jonathan to whisper in a mock-conspiratorial hiss in to his ear, grinning widely.

“Tell me what?” Jonathan pipped up suspiciously, peeking his head out even further from under his blanket-fortress, peering up at the both of them with unabashed curiosity.

Grunk made a show of thinking about it, rubbing at his muzzle and letting out a thoughtful rumble. Now that they were nice and warmed up, and the kid had been adequately spooked, there was no point in stalling further. But...that didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little fun teasing everyone else though, now did it? The other monsters had since moved in closer now that the main event was winding down, many clinging to the ceiling, piled up near the window or huddling en-mass under the bed until they were spilling out from underneath to listen in. Already tentacles, claws, eye-stalks, snouts and assorted other appendages could be seen peeking out from under the bed or trialing and creeping up over the covers, the air thick with menace and anticipation.

And while it might have been too softly spoken for their human to pick up, he could just about make out the faintest sounds of heckling from their audience.

“Come on, tell him already!”

“Chaa bros, what’s the hold up?”

“I bet he’s taking his sweet time on purpose just to mess with us! This is torture!”

“The suspense is killing me.”

Rolling his eyes in amusement he lazily gestured for Drool to proceed with a wave of his claws and a lash of his tail before the closet-monster fell off his perch. “Of course, be my guest.” Drools eyes fairly sparkled at that. “Really?” He brayed excitedly.

“Really really.” Grunk said with a firm nod, fighting back a smile as Drool almost toppled over in surprise.

Drool grinned from ear to ear as he let out a little cackle of glee before his head twisted fully around with a series of sickening cracks and crunches to show off for their human. Drools antics evoked another squeal of pleased fright, followed by a murmur of fascinated revulsion from Jonathan as the closet-monster leaned over backward to share the news while still clinging to the bed-post, leaning in close to speak.

“Right! So listen to this: we were thinking...”

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As Jonathan lay awake in bed with his blanket drawn up to his chin, restless, excited and scared, waiting and listening and watching as he fidgeted and squirmed and maybe drummed his heels against his bed just a little while he contemplated trying to sneak out of bed, or maybe just having a quick peek to see if Grunk was ready yet, he realized something.

Something was up. Something was most definitely, absolutely, positively up.

I hadn’t taken Jonathan long to realize this. He had instinctively known something was up when after the lights went out and his dad closed the door shut behind him and left, his monsters didn’t promptly start creeping and crawling and making scary noises soon after, or start jumping out of hiding to scare and grab him, as they usually did.

Oh sure, he knew Grunk and the others liked to wait a few minutes until after he was in bed and it was getting late before they started creeping around to scare him. His mom and dad had some funny ideas about monsters after all—though adults seemed to have some funny ideas about a lot of things in general, really—and he didn’t want them to worry, or risk getting himself in trouble for staying up too late or being too loud. Playing with is monsters and getting grabbed and scared and everything was actually kind of fun in a spooky, shivery sort of way.

But while he loved his parents, and he loved his monsters; he really didn’t think his parents were ready to meet his monsters or find out about them either. And he knew his monsters worked very hard not to get found out, too. Which would have maybe explained why they were taking longer than usual, and being so very quiet tonight.

But that was the odd part: it was awfully quiet in his room tonight. Like really really quiet. Too quiet. Where was the ominous drooling slowly puddling from under his bed? Where was the scraping of raggedly sharp claws or the wet slimy slurp of tentacles? Where was the gnashing of teeth, the sounds of boards creaking or all the other scary noises his monsters should have been making as he tried to fall asleep, stuck in bed and too scared imagining all the frightful things that would happen if he tried to sneak out?

Was something wrong? If something was wrong, one of his monsters would have come out of hiding and told him so by now, right?

Right?

As his eyes gradually adjusted to the darkness of his room and the grinning Serendipity The Cat clock on his wall ticked away, he began to notice that there were way more monsters in his room than normal, even for October! It was like a game of I-Spy, trying to pick out where they were hiding, or what they were pretending to be. For instance, he didn’t have two coat-racks, and no coat-rack he had ever seen had been covered in stringy hairs or had tentacles for feet. Maybe it was because it was October? He knew that that all the monsters around his house were as excited for the month and for the slow arrival of Halloween as he was, maybe even more! But at the same time he wasn’t sure what to expect. Where were his monsters?

How was he going to fall asleep tonight and resist sneaking out of bed without his monsters there to make sure he stayed put? How was he going to fall asleep tonight without his monsters there to scare him and keep him company? A lot of the other monsters who occasionally filled in for Grunk and the others were okay he guessed, but they still weren’t _his _monsters.

Before he could start to fret too much, something caught his attention. Was it just his imagination, or did he hear whispering coming from under his bed? It wouldn’t hurt just to take a teeny tiny peek and see what was going on, right?

Just as he started to push himself up in to a sitting position on his bed so he could sneak a quick peek at what was going on, a chilling moan billowed out from under the bed, followed by the familiar spine-tingling sounds of fangs gnashing, claws scraping, and the dreadful sounds of lots of deep gravelly growling coming from underneath as his bed began to shudder and shake, something big and hairy shifting around in the darkness beneath his bed, before his monsters long hairy tail shot out from under the bed to unfurl and land on the floor with a mighty thump. He jumped in surprise, a thrill of fear shooting through him as he gasped and shivered in fright before quickly ducking back under the covers so his monster couldn’t get him.

Grunk was here! Finally! And Drool too! When he heard his closet-monster crawling out from under his bed with an evil chortle he knew tonight was going to be an extra-special kind of scary, and wild too. Which was good, because he didn’t feel the least little bit tired. Jonathan would have sighed in relief to have his monsters with him tonight if he’d had the breath to spare. As it was he was too busy shrieking and giggling in breathless fear and excitement as his monsters kept him on his toes, making him guess where they would pop up to scare him from next as they made his skin crawl and his hair stand up on end.

After a brief tug-of-war with Drool as the closet-monster tried to steal away his blanket, Grunk clawed his way out from under the bed with a jaw-snapping snarl and plenty of his usual deep gravelly growling, drooling lots of green slime. When Grunk jumped out to grab him he jumped so hard he thought he was gonna bounce and tumble right out of bed, and he screamed so loud he was worried his parents would burst up the stairs and in to his room any second. He didn’t hear his mom or dad start climbing the stairs to investigate as he huddled under the covers and tried to muffle his squeals of fear and laughter though, just the pounding of his own heart. He made sure to keep his feet firmly tucked in so Grunk couldn’t grab his ankles or nibble his toes as he tried to guess where they would pop up next. He loved all of his monsters, they were all so scary, creepy, gross and cool! But Grunk was definitely the scariest of the bunch. He didn’t think he would have any trouble staying in bed or falling asleep tonight, not with both Grunk and Drool around, that was for sure!

But when he heard his closet creak open, he knew Drool would be the next to scare him. All the glowing eyes, dripping fangs and grasping limbs he could see in his closet made him gulp as his insides squirmed with fright. There really were an awful lot of monsters in his room tonight, he realized, clutching his blankets tight just to be safe.

He stopped wondering and worrying about that when Drool slunk out of his closet with a slimy braying chuckle before letting out a menacing growl, their eyes glowing brightly as his closet-monster raced over to bounce off his toy-chest with a hop and leap clear across the room with all four arms splayed wide to snatch and grab him. He froze and let out a gasp when he thought Drool was going to get him right then and there, before they landed right by his head instead. Grunk might have been the scariest by far, but Drool was pretty scary too! They were also definitely the smelliest, grossest, and creepiest. Jonathan loved them, they were so slobbery and gross and fun to play with!

Drool clung to his bed-post with a slathering chuckle as he made like his namesake before rubbing his claws together and pointing right at him with a toothy grin, leaning in so close he could see Drools weird dimly glowing bugs crawling all over him clear as day, and he could definitely smell him too. Drool always let him play with his bugs whenever he asked nicely, and had proudly explained that they were unique, as much a part of him as Noose, his snake-tail, and the reason for his skunky stink.

“Ready to see something really gross and scary?” Drool asked him with ghoulish glee, the question the only warning he got before Drool pulled his mouth wide and roared right at him, showing off his teeth and shape-shifting both. He screamed and squirmed away in horror and revulsion, which seemed to make his closet-monster very happy, as they continued to pull gross faces and drool, trying to steal his blanket so they could tickle and slime him while they were at it.

It was Grunk reappearing right behind him to loom and sharpen their claws against his bed-post as he clutched his blanket tight and tried to roll away from Drool as much as he could without falling out of bed that really made him jump in fright. He quickly moved to huddle in the middle of his bed were it was safe so Grunk and the others wouldn’t be able to grab him.

“What’s the matter Jonathan, you aren’t...scaaared, are you?” Grunk growled out with a grin as he shifted forward to playfully lean in to grab and scare him even with his blanket firmly in place, snout a hairs breath from his face, making him giggle and scream as he ducked under the covers to escape so Grunk couldn’t give him any slimy monster lickery-kisses. He wasn’t going to let them get him that easily, no way, no how!

“Well y-yeah...n-no one can scare me quite like you guys can.” He admitted out loud with a shy smile after a second, peeking out from under the covers with a shiver to peer at both Grunk and Drool. He’d had substitute monsters from time to time, and even been freaked out by surprise scares from monsters around the house, but none of them were nearly as scary as Grunk. Some of them had almost been as scary and creepy as Drool, Krolli and Sly, but he still liked them a whole lot better.

“Heheh, music to my ears.” Grunk boomed out happily in response to that before letting out a contented snort, his face taking on a purple tinge as green smoke trailed from his nostrils. Grunk always got really happy and kind of silly when he said stuff like that, but he didn’t mind.

Drool snickered before poking Grunk in the shoulder while gesturing to him, bobbing and shifting around with excitement, before giving him a wink and leaning over his head to whisper in to Grunks ear with a braying giggle, though he caught snatches of what they were saying

“Tell me what?” He pipped up suspiciously, peeking his head out even further from under the safety of his blankets to glance back and forth between Drool and Grunk. Whatever it was they were talking about it sounded important. He just couldn’t resist a good secret or mystery. His parents said that made him precocious. His big sister said that he was just naturally nosy, but that it was okay because it was a family trait, whatever that was supposed to mean.

Grunk paused to think about it, rubbing at his muzzle with his long black claws and sort of humming to himself in a rumbly sort of way. After a moment or two of this he rolled his eyes and with a sly smile gestured at Drool to go ahead. Drool nearly fell off his perch in extiment, jerking forward as his eyes lit up brightly, glowing like a pair of lit candles.

“Really?” He said with a loud braying sound.

“Really really.” Grunk said.

He had to bite his lower lip to keep himself from laughing out loud when Drool looked like they were just about to tumble in to bed with him, swaying for a moment before they steadied themselves. Grinning from ear to ear as their mouth stretched wide open they cackled loudly, practically hopping up and down with joy before their head twisted around with a series of awful juicy cracks and crunches, their head jerking this way and that as his closet-monster leered and slathered, their grin only widening when he let out out a squeal of revulsion and fright, before they suddenly leaned back until they were almost but not quite touching him, letting out a raspy growling chuckle.

Drool had shown him this trick plenty of times before, but it still made his toes curl and his hair stand on end every time they did it. It was just so gross and creepy! Their mailman could rotate his head around too, but that was because he was a griffon and when he did it, it was smooth and silent like an owls. He could tell his monster was totally showing off to freak him out of course, but it was still wicked cool and so, so creepy. Drool said that they would teach him to do it too when he was older if he wanted—and he absolutely did—but he wasn’t sure if he would really be able to, even with Drools help. Even with magic, he knew human’s necks couldn’t twist like that naturally.

Not unless they were really really good at shape-shifting. Or there was something bad inside them controlling them. He’d even asked his mom about it and she’d told him as much herself. And his mom knew so much about magic, it was crazy!

“Right! So listen to this: we were thinking...” Drool drawled as he lowered his voice to a stage-whisper, glancing around shiftily as he trailed off.

“Yeah? You were thinking about what?” Jonathan whispered back, frowning and giving his closet-monster a funny look as he waited impatiently for Drool to finally spill the beans and tell him what was going on.

“...well, what if we took you trick-n-treating with us this year, huh?” Drool said, his voice rising in excitement as he gestured first at himself, and then at Jonathan before making a grand sweeping gesture to encompass his bedroom and all the other monsters in it.

“Wait, really?” He said, his own voice rising in excitement to match Drool’s as he let out an excited shriek.

“Yeah, absolutely!” Drool crowed, sweeping off the bed-post, his neck twisting right-way around with another series of pops and cracks as the closet-monster dropped down to land on top of his bed in a crouch, before making another go at grabbing and sliming him as they leaned in to his side and tried to steal his blankets away with a chuckle. He wasn’t having any of that though, pulling his blanket up to act as a shield and tugging them back whenever Drool tried to pull them out if his hands.

Grunk let out a low rasping chuckle that sent shivers through the bed and up his spine, flashing him a wide smile full of sharp teeth, gently butting heads with him before taking up the thread of the conversation. “Heh yes, really really. Now, before you make up your mind just consider it, hmm? You’d get to spend all Halloween night with us for a change. We could race through the woods, explore the cemetery together, howl at the moon, and we could show you a side of this town you’ve never seen before. Just imagine all the people we’ll scar together, all the pranks we could pull, and all the ghoulish fun we could have if you joined us.”

“Not to mention all the candy we could all rake in this year: more candy than you could hope to eat by yourself in a month, just piles and piles of it everywhere!” Drool added excitedly, nodding along.

He gave the pair of monsters an incredulous look, barely resisting the urge to throw away his covers and start bouncing up and down in bed from how excited and exhilarated he felt. “Are you joking? Yes of course, I’d love to!” He cried out, throwing an arm around Drool to hug them close, before with a bit of squirming and sitting up in bed he did the same for Grunk, hugging both of his monsters close. Grunk let out another pleased snort, reaching over to ruffle his hair even as he leaned in to the hug. Drool meanwhile wasted no time in giving his exposed face several slobbery monster lickery-kisses much to his vocal disgust, before snuggling in to his side with an unapologetic snicker as he quickly wiped the slobber away on the closet-monsters mane of purple fur.

“We’ll be sure to make this your best Halloween yet.” Grunk boasted, wriggling their claws at him and letting out a low growl, before gently booping his nose, which made him burst in to a brief fit of excited laughter as he dropped back down to lie in bed. This was going to be so cool, he couldn’t wait! A second later he remembered something that made him shift with a guilty start, half-rising in to a crouch, unsure of what to do, frowning I worry.

“What’s the matter?” Drool said, catching sight of the look on his face and sensing something amiss.

“Mom and Dad! I completely forgot, they promised to take me trick-or-treating again this year! I can’t be in two places at once and I really don’t think they’re ready to meet either of you or any of the others and we can’t go together they’ll know somethings up if you guys try to pass as trick-or-treaters! It just wouldn’t work.” He wailed quietly, everything coming out in a panicked rush.

Rather than being offended or disappointed like he’d been afraid of, Grunk simply let out a deep growling chuckle, eyes blazing red and teeth gleaming wetly before without any warning they gave his exposed face several slimy lickery-kisses, making him collapse back in to bed with a squealing laugh of both amused disgust and surprise as he tried to keep Grunk from springing any other monstrous tricks on him. Twisting around in bed he quickly rubbed the monster-slobber off on the sleeve of his pajama-top, ignoring Drools amused snickers. He froze when he felt Grunks mitts patting him on the head before pulling his bed-covers back up to rest just under his chin. “No need to worry kiddo. I’m your boogeyman ain’t I? We’ve got everything covered, just wait and see.” Grunk promised with a grin and a wink, their long black claws flexing as his monster let out a menacing rumble and leered at him, before hulking down to give him a comforting hug. “So no scaring yourself. That’s supposed to be our job, remember?”

“Now then: it’s time for _you _to finally rest your head and go to bed. No trying to sneak out tonight, you hear? We’ll be waiting and watching hehehe...Sweet nightmares, my boy.” His monster hissed with a gruesome grin, drooling thin trickles of steaming green ooze as they slithered out of his embrace to loom over him, claws splayed to snatch and grab, before Grunk slid back under his bed with a scraping of claws and a low fiendish snarl that made him shiver from head to toe all over again as his bed shuddered and bucked.

It took him a while to fall asleep after that. The fear and excitement kept him wide awake, while his head buzzed with imagination and questions, all while he huddled under the covers, all the creepy noises and continued scary antic of his monsters keeping him firmly planted in bed. Eventually, Jonathan finally fell asleep, all four of his bedroom monsters staying close to keep him company, their own contented growls and hisses lulling him to sleep.

He could hardly wait for tomorrow to begin, he had so many things he wanted to ask...

#Jonathan's Hair-Raising Halloween Adventure #Jonathan Sloan #Halloween #Monsters #Little JonJon #Grunk Von Hurst #Marlo 'Drool' Shalts #Krolli Modber #slime #Sly #Monster #JHRHA #JHRHA Ch. 3 #Rough Drafts

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monitorsscrawlings · 4 years ago

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Shock It To Ya! Chapter One

Chapter One: Zap! Goes the Powerline.

In my modest opinion there’ s just one thing that sucks more than ending a long slogging week of work in customer-service slinging coffee and dealing with a conga-line of self-entitled yuppies and skeevy weirdos by having to walk to work in the pouring rain on that final day before I could finally take a couple of well-deserved days off.

Just one thing mind you, just one!

And that one thing would be ending the mostly metaphorical slog with a much more literal one home from work through a rainstorm that had somehow managed to upgrade itself from ‘drenching, heavy rain’ when I had stomped through it on my way to work that morning, to ‘absolutely relentless downpour with a side-order of thunder and lightning’. I already knew all too well that it would take a literal act of divine intervention, or at the very least a timely power-outrage to get the owners to close the shop down early, but this was just fucking ridiculous. The rain made a mockery of my sad little umbrella, the wind whipping it this way and that, water dripping down my face, every inch of me drenched, with another slow, miserable ten minutes of squelching, dirty water squishing between my toes and feeling like the kind of drowned rat that other drowned rats would stick their noses up at, I couldn’t muster the emotion to feel more than a low, simmering resignation as I squinted through the rain and kept on slogging through muddy puddles, having long given up on being able to see much of anything more than a couple of feet in front of me, even with my glasses on.

Or on staying dry for that matter.

I was just happy to be alive, and for my week to be over. God, I was so ready to just shower, flop in to bed and pass out. Sleep had never sounded so good. Praise be to a hot shower, a warm bed, and a full nights rest!

The storm had other ideas. As I discovered not five fucking minutes from my house, as an errant lightning bolt slammed into the power-lines over my head, and a live-wire came down right on top of me. I never heard or saw it coming of course, the thunderous boom and flash of the lightning strike had rendered me blind, deaf and dumb, ears ringing and spots of light exploding in my eyes. Oh, but for one split second of searing, electrical agony I sure did feel it. Everything went black after that, and I’m quite sure I was dead before my body hit the ground.

I don’t remember anything much after that. Blackness, then a sort of hazy gray-white, with a background noise a little like the rush and gurgle of water filling your ears when you dive under the surface of a lake, a little like the dull background hum of a bad case of persistent tinnitus, and a lot like neither of those things. I’d been some kind of lackadaisical Christian as a kid, because my family had been Christian, and agnostic for most of my life after that besides, so I wasn’t exactly surprised by this...thisness. This non-existence that felt like the spiritual equivalent of being left on hold for six hours with nothing but an all-you-could-stomach stream of never-ending smooth-jazz and elevator music to distract from the tedium.

I guess I hadn’t been good and religiously devote enough to schmooze my way through the pearly gates, but not enough of an evil little shit to end up spending eternity in hell as Satan’s personal toilet-scrubber. Damn. This whole situation really sucked.

And then it was like blinking awake from a very strange yet immersive day-dream, the kind where the dream feels realer than reality, and I woke up.

I woke up, blinked the sleep from my eyes, and half-pushed, half-stumbled until I managed to drag myself upright, my body feeling leaden, head groggy, mouth coated in yuck. Well, I was up, so I guess it was time to start the day. Leaning down to splash some water into my face from the pond I’d fallen asleep beside, it wasn’t until I’d finished scrubbing my face that I was caught by a strangeness, a wrongness in the distorted reflection that stared back at me from the pool of water. It took a solid five seconds as my brain caught up with itself and I lurched into full wakefulness with a sensation like falling up. But then everything clicked in to place and I screamed. Oh how I screamed: first in panicked confusion, than in horror, then once the shock wore off, in rage.

I’d been frustrated, pissed off, stressed out, and ready to throw down before; usually after customers had worn through my last nerve or after an unusually shitty week with too much stress and too little sleep. I was usually a pretty upbeat and calm person, at least until I couldn’t put up with any more and just needed to scream bloody murder somewhere discrete and away from other people. But this, oh this took the stages of grief and made them explode as anger took everything and swept it away in a tide of red.

‘I was a motherfucking Abra. I had died—could remember every detail leading up to my demise and the sensation of my heart stopping as I jittered like a cockroach trapped in a microwave—because of random chance and shitty weather and I’d been close enough to turning on to my street and dragging my carcass in to my house that if I’d been just a little bit faster I wouldn’t have died and lost everything and I was a motherfucking Abra! My friends and family, my writing, my house and my job and every last scrap of my old life and everything I had slowly worked towards, grinding my life away just surviving with my shitty job working for a better tomorrow gone in an instant and now for whatever reason I was stuck in the Pokemon universe as a stumpy little psychic fox-shrew-looking rip-off muppet Abra and oh god I died what the fuck everything's gone, everything's gone everything's gone oh you motherfucker why the fuck was I an Abra?!’

Everything became a blur of seething rage and desperate panicked flailing after that, as I vented my emotions in one massive explosion, screaming and cursing until I was hoarse. I can remember with distinct clarity kicking and punching and clawing furiously at a tree until my hands throbbed with pain and bled and my rage was spent, fatigue swiftly taking it’s place. My body had felt so heavy, and I had felt so, so tired, like every corner of my being was filled to the brim with cold lead relentlessly weighing me down. Before I knew it I was slumping over to sleep in the wreckage my physic-empowered tantrum had created, my weak little Abra body’s power spent as I curled up into a little ball, arms cradling my head and tail curled up under my feet. I yawned, and then I was out. I didn’t fall asleep so much as sleep clubbed me over the head and threw me ass over heels face-first in to dreamland.

It was quite possibly the best nap I had ever had.

Unfortunately it also lasted for almost twenty-four hours, which as I would find out soon after, was going to be a really annoying part of my new normal.

The days seem to run like water when you’re out there in the wild all by your lonesome, with nothing for company except the few scant wild pokemon ranging the area and your own thoughts, and precious little to entertain yourself with besides. Seventeen to eighteen hours of mandatory sleep with a body that absolutely won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, or else; followed by roughly six hours of wide-awake scurrying around like a hyperactive five year old dosed up on snicker-doodles and cola as I thought and thought and thought without end, about everything and nothing, mind constantly at work. I couldn’t stop. I wouldn’t stop. Frankly I didn’t know how to stop. Not when I was foraging for food or water, not when I ran and climbed and did somersaults and back-flips and front-flips and experimented with what little psychic power I had at my disposal just to take the edge off my boredom, which in my case meant figuring out what I could do with ‘Teleport’, and little else. Certainly not when I punched and kicked trees or forced myself to do squats and push-ups and sit-ups and stretches, no matter how much I loathed the repetitive movements or how little it did to distract me from my thoughts, my day-dreams, or all of my many, many, many questions.

To some people Hell is other people, or Hell is simply Hell in a more literal fire and brimstone and sadistic blood-thirsty demons sort of way.

To me, in that first dull week of being reborn in the wonderful world of Pokemon, with all that it entailed, Hell was isolation and boredom without end.

---------------------------------------

But that was a week ago. Or maybe it was two weeks ago, or three, or five? Time’s funny like that, it’s hard to pin down and keep a hold of when you have no way to keep track of it except for the rising and setting of the sun and moon and your own finicky internal clock. All I knew was that I’d landed in a temperate forest, the weather had been cool but comfortable, and there was plenty to eat and little to do.

But that had been then, and this was now. And now, as was fast becoming an annoying new custom with me I was woken up by the sensation of someone tickling my nose with their tail until I was forced to teleport away. I enjoyed a moments peace while it lasted, only for them to track me down and start bothering me again, repeating the cycle until I was finally annoyed enough to snap into wakefulness and threaten to feed them their own feet, only to find a chubby yellow, stripped electric-mouse grinning cheekily at me. One that I happened to recognize, since the chubby little bastard loved pulling pranks on me, no matter how often I teleport-juggled them through the air until they were too dizzy to stand upright. Or threatened to use them as target practice for my amateur-hour close-quarters attacks.

Honestly I think they liked it. Serves me right for getting too friendly with the locals and spending so much time napping in apple-trees. Just like last time I was tempted to give them the ol’ Thunder Punch to the gut as a pulse of irritation ran through me at having my slumber interrupted again. But that would have been a poor way to say ‘thank you’, when their elder had been the one to help me learn the move in the first place.

Besides, I had I worrying suspicion that the little masochist would have enjoyed getting smacked around too. I didn’t want to think about it, or risk finding out, so I didn’t. Instead I took my sweet time, making a show of it as I stretched and yawned wide, flexing my fingers and toes and luxuriating in the warm lazy sensation of slowly waking up from my daily nap. It didn’t take long at all for Pikachu to start poking me gently in the side to chivy me along, practically dancing an impatient little jig when I made a show of twisting around to turn by back towards him and going back to sleep sitting up. Heh, messing with them was just too easy sometimes. Served ‘em right for interrupting my sleep, too.

“Aww jeeze, come on sleepy-head, quite being such a Slowpoke and get up already! Tree-berries are back on the menu Jabra! There’s apples and pears ripe for the taking, if we don’t hurry they’re gonna be all gone, come on, wake up!” Pikachu pikachu’d at me eagerly, as their little paws poked and prodded me in the side some more, before they switched to lightly drumming out a little beat on the top of my head, to the tune of Merv Griffins ‘I’ve Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts’. On reflection, humming and singing songs from my old world where other ‘mons could hear might have been a mistake. Just a little one.

But I couldn’t find it in myself to feel much regret over it now. That train had already left the station ages ago, and there wasn’t anything I could do to drag it back. But what I was feeling was another sting of irritation over having my sleep interrupted by spring apples and what was probably going to be some very sad green pears, which however tasty, weren’t worth the grogginess and headaches I could now look forward to until I went back to my nap and completed the mandatory Abra sleep-cycle. And just like that, I was back to contemplating the virtues of giving Pikachu a taste of my thunder-punch

I twisted around to yawn again, even louder and wider than before right in Pikachu’s face to let them know exactly what I thought of that, before I flopped on to my side with a sleepy tongue-blep, ears flicking as I cupped my head in the palm of my right hand, the claws of my left lazily tap-tap-tapping out ‘shave and a haircut—two bits’ over and over again into the bed of moss growing on one of the massive boughs of the ancient dead tree this conversation was currently taking place on. They sure didn’t make ‘em like this back home. Probably a pokemons doing come to think, but that was a worry for another time. “Mmmrph, you woke me up early just for that? I’ll pass, thanks.” I mumbled, quickly cutting off the tune to stifle another yawn.

Undeterred, Pikachu scampered to stand by my feet before flopping on to his side next to me, mirroring my pose as he smiled in his usual happy-go-lucky way. “Come on man, it won’t be the same without you there to teleport to the juiciest ones,” he said, before leaning down to whisper the magic words in to my ear with a sly lilt, “I’ll even roast your half of the haul for you, just the way you like ‘em. I don’t think you’ve tried these apples yet either, they’re different, softer and juicier! They’re really good, I promise, so let’s go already!” He added pleadingly, injecting a wheedling note in to his voice.

Heh, well, I rather did like roasted sweet apples...and as I’d learned the hard way a couple of days ago, thunder-punch was great for smacking a little sense in to other ‘mons, or knocking stubborn fruit out of trees, but absolutely rubbish for cooking and baking. Unless you liked apple-sauce or hot mixed-berry jam of course. In which case it was just perfect!

...As long as you didn’t mind having your apple-sauce ending up with a bit here, a bit there, and the rest of it crop-dusted all over yourself, your friends, and the female Scyther nesting way over in the bushes off to your left but unfortunately still somehow well within the splash-zone. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, and sheer boredom had played no small part in the decision. But while what little apple-sauce I’d managed to lick off my mitts while running and teleporting hither and yon around the forest for my life from the homicidal, flying hack-n-slash bug-woman had been delicious, it hadn’t been enough to be worth the bother I had gone through to make it. Or the stabbing headache I’d been left with afterwards for overexerting myself while my danger-sense had been pinging left and right, going completely ballistic the entire time. I certainly hadn't needed any extra-sensory abilities or psychic powers to know that particular Scyther had wanted to gut me like a Magikarp and then shred the remains into Abra-tartar. On the bright side my little jaunt had provided me with some excellent cardio, so I was still counting it as a partial win all around.

But yeah. No more punching fruit with electricity until it exploded. At least not until I could find a better way to harvest the results.

“You had me at toasted apples,” I said, perking up before grabbing one of Pikachu’s paws without ceremony. “Alright then, lets go. Teleporting in three, two, one, take off is now.” And then I teleported us out of the massive old oak tree and down into the tall grass growing around its base in the blink of an eye, with a little mid-teleport twist to swing us both from laying on our sides to standing more or less upright before we both landed facing each other with only a little bit of a stumble on either of our parts.

It took us both a second to reorient as Pikachu moved to stand by my side, his left paw held firmly in my right, before he started feeding me directions to where we were heading, gesturing enthusiastically with his free hand the entire time, ears perked and his eyes sparkling with shameless gluttony and no little excitement at being taken teleport-hopping through the forest.

I took a moment to raise my head and let my gaze drift up in to the sky above. The day was clear, sunny, and pleasantly cool with a light breeze and only a few fluffy white clouds slowly drifting across the sky. Good weather for travel and picnicking.

“Right then, off we go. All you can eat apple and pear cornucopia, here we come!” I said laconically, and faster than two shakes of a Taurus’ tails, we were off, Pikachu whooping and giggling excitedly beside me the entire way as we blinked in and out with a twist of teleportation, skipping from one place to another with only a few seconds spared each time to reorient and take the next jump. The scenery around us went by in a series of blips, like watching a slideshow of nature snap-shots or the highlights reel of a wilderness documentary as we teleported through the forest in a generally westerly direction, navigating primarily based off of Pikachu’s directions and using easily identifiable forest landmarks to help keep us moving in the right direction.

Oh the sights you’ll see when you teleport-spam: big rock that kind of looked like a sleeping Gengar situated at the mouth of a mossy cave; lightning-forked tree; Beedrill nest; the massive river that bisected the forest into it’s east and west halves; gravelly hiking path with an old tree-stump carved to resemble a Hoothoot; three Rookidee nesting in the window of an abandoned log-cabin—I immediately teleported back to pull one eyelid down and stick out my tongue at the trio of little brats for keeping me up with every child's favorite game, the ‘Why’ game several nights ago, before teleporting myself and my passenger away before they stopped squawking and started pecking—and soon we were by the hiking trails and webway of roads used by the humans of this world, especially the trainers. A journey that from start to end would have probably taken us about two hours to make going at a steady pace on foot. But using Teleport? It only took us five, maybe six minutes tops until we finally arrived at where the fruit-trees Pikachu had been talking about were supposed to be.

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Before, when I had said ‘all you can eat’, I’d been entirely joking. I hadn’t realized how prophetic my words would turn out to be until I let Pikachu’s paw go and we ambled our way across the road and through the brush and scraggly tree-line to reach our destination, Pikachu rushing ahead of me so he could perform a little bow and flourish, waving his paws as if he had personally pulled what awaited us out of his hat like a magician performing their final and grandest trick of the night.

I had been expecting one or two young trees starting to fruit prematurely at best, maybe some berry bushes that hadn’t already been picked through by other pokemon and traveling humans.

What I hadn’t been expecting to find was something that combined a Poke’Stop campsite with a small albeit seedy-looking fruit-orchard.

A ring of thirteen rock slabs and old logs had been evenly spaced out in a circle around at what one point must have been a fire-pit with a brick basin set in to the ground, and a good sized one at that, surrounded by a mix of old ash, sand and gravel in the center of the camp. To the left of the path was a long stretch of packed down sandy earth pockmarked with a few patches of stubborn grass that looked like it had been the designated spot for travelers to pitch tents. The grass here was short and patchy, and aside from a few boulders that had been set at the borders of the clearing in what looked like a rough rectangle there wasn’t much else to see. A dirt path led from what must have been the intended entrance, through the camp, and to the right, where it led to a shallow stream being fed from the river back the way we’d come, and beyond that? A weed-riddled orchard with several tidy rows of apple trees, and even a couple of pear-trees off in their own corner. There was also what looked liked an attempt at a vegetable garden that had gotten completely overrun with wild-mint and blackberries, both vying aggressively for the rich black soil that might have once grown potatoes and carrots or the like.

Overall, the place felt like it hadn’t been seriously used or properly tended to in, well, months at least. Not abandoned exactly, so much as dormant, and maybe a little neglected. It didn’t stop either of us from strolling on in of course, but it still struck me as just a little odd.

‘Maybe the nearest local pokemon-gym’s gotten it’s funding slashed, or its the off-season or something?’ I pondered to myself as I cautiously poked around, curiosity aroused. If I hadn’t already had two close encounters with wannabe pokemon-trainers poking their noses around my favorite napping tree, keen on adding a shiny new Abra to their teams, who wouldn’t take a hint to go away without a little gentle persuasion, seeing something like this might have made me start to worry about the state of the world and human-kind.

As it was though, I had better things to focus on: like following Pikachu in to the orchard before he either ate everything or kicked off a brawl with an Ursaring or something. Not even the first hints of drowsiness and fatigue, or the burgeoning headache beginning to throb and squeeze at the front of my skull and temples could keep me from feasting on fruit or making sure the electric rodent didn’t get us both into some nutty new situation. Just had to soldier through, and once we’d both eaten our fill I could beg off and find some place to take a well-deserved nap.

In the mean time, there were trees to punch and fruit to collect.

“Thuuundeeer Puuunnnch~!” I roared, striking a super-sentai pose and hamming it up just a bit for Pikachu’s benefit, before going at it on one especially stubborn trees trunk with a series of rapid jabs and a few kicks, all empowered with just the mildest burst of electricity. I wanted to see if I could knock down some fruit before I had to start resorting to latching on to apples with teleport and letting gravity do the work. Preferably without killing the poor tree dead with lightning if I could help it.

Unfortunately I did my job a little too well, as several apples finally fell from the boughs above.

To bounce rapid-fire one after the other right off the top of my already sore head with a loud sort of ‘donk donk plonk’ noise, making white and yellow stars burst in my vision before I blinked them away, and escalating my headache from ‘low burgeoning tenderness’ to ‘moderate but persistent throb’ in a heartbeat.

Naturally the electric furball found it just so damn funny he immediately sprayed bits of chewed-up pear everywhere, choking on his own spit and flailing around on the ground as he rocked with helpless laughter at my misfortune, his half-eaten pear momentarily forgotten.

I could feel a vein in my head pulse, lightning dragging itself through my limbs to arc between my clenched fists as I slowly pivoted away from the apple tree with as much dignity as I could muster and glared. “I meant to do that,” I ground out.

That only seemed to set him off even harder, the choking getting worse as he squealed with laughter, before he swallowed wrong, started choking in truth and turning blue in the face. If the overfed flea-bag died laughing right now, it would have only served him right, fondness for the little glutton be damned. On the other paw...if he died and came back as a ghost pokemon over something as dumb as this, then I would never get a moments peace or sleep again.

Never ever again.

Flesh and blood beings like me had to sleep regularly. Ghost-pokemon? As far as I knew, not so much.

With a growl I flash-teleported right next to him and let Pikachu have it with a solid punch to the gut, a chunk of pear that the little glutton must have been struggling to swallow narrowly missing clipping my right ear as they let out a gasp, before curling on to their side with a weak panting groan, still chuckling occasionally.

“You gonna live?” I sighed sarcastically, rubbing at my aching temples.

And just like that Pikachu went right back to giggling as they straightened up and gave me two big thumbs up, before they pressed their paws against their muzzle as they tried and failed spectacularly to hide their cheeky grin, none the worse for wear even after almost choking to death and then taking a direct hit to the stomach.

We spent a few minutes in companionable silence after that, sitting down next to each other as Pikachu roasted my share of the fruit for me and we both ate our fill with gusto. Although I left eating the apple-cores to the one ‘mon garbage disposal, and thankfully this time he remembered to take his time and chew, instead of trying to swallow things whole like an Arbok.

Just as I was about to get up and help myself to some berries and mint chased down with fresh rive-water to finish my meal, a fresh stab of pain lancing through my skull made me pause and flinch, followed by the sensation of a chill racing up my spine. Right, right, read you loud and clear body: nap time was now, food time would have to be put on hold until later. Oh, and apparently something was setting off my danger-sense in a big way, but something was muddling it.

Time to go.

“Right, I think we should wrap things up and head back for now while I still have the juice for some teleports still left in me. We got what we came for, yeah?” I said, clapping my hands together to get Pikachu’s attention, while trying not to panic or let on how much my head hurt show.

Guess I was a better psychic than an actor though, because Pikachu seemed to immediately sense something other than my usual ‘I’m sleepy-tired’, ‘I’m bored’, or ‘I’m sleepy, bored and cranky’ modes was going on from the way their eyes snapped to me and they froze mid-bite into what must have been their upteenth’d apple. I hadn’t really been paying attention but he must have been starting to get full now, surely?

I mean, just how much fruit could one Pikachu eat?

“Ah Awweddy?” He mumbled around a mouth full of chewed up apple and pear, before swallowing thickly. “What’s the rush though? We just got here didn’t we? Besides, there’s plenty of food and water, its a beautiful day, and there’s plenty of places to take a nap in, right?” Pikachu chirped licking his chops, before he frowned, his face clouding up with concern, brow beetling up and ears drooping as he hopped to his feet.

“Are you not feeling good? You didn’t accidentally eat some Caterpie eggs did you? Or some of those funky mushrooms that make you see things?” I blinked in confused-surprise at that and suddenly Pikachu was standing in front of me, paws on my shoulders as they peered intently in to my face to make sure I wasn’t suffering from acute food-poisoning, or tripping out on those damn speckled blue hallucinogenic mushrooms. Again. Even after gorging on fruit they’d moved so fast they’d almost left after-images, cool air washing over me from their use of ‘Agility’.

“Whu—no nothing like that! I’m just tired and headach-y, figured I’d go back to my tree and sleep it off. I didn’t want to leave you to take the long way back on a full stomach, that’s all.” I said, resisting the urge to just grab Pikachu and teleport them out with me now, permission be damned.

“Oh? Oooh. okay! Had me worried for a second! Well, why don’t we just hang out here until you feel better then silly? I mean, what’s the worse that could happen?” They chirped, waving one paw about negligently as they leaned against me, the very picture of lazy devil-may-care confidence.

And that’s when my danger-sense pinged even harder than before, sending a fresh burst of pain through my skull, followed by a chill that seemed to start from my ears and flow all the way down my body to my tail. I didn’t need psychic powers to know that invoking Murphy’s Law was bad, bad, really really bad.

“Well, I mean...” I started weakly, trying not to start clutching at my head in both frustration and pain, when, as if to prove my concerns completely valid while simultaneously laughing directly in to my face, the sound of a tree-branch snapping under-foot went off like a gun-shot in the relative quiet of the clearing and both of us swiveled around in a snap of motion to stare at a boxy-faced, sandy-haired, white lab-coat wearing human intruder standing by the path leading out of the clearing, watching us both with transparent interest and a faintly indulgent yet crooked smile, face lightly seamed with laugh and frown lines both.

“We could be cornered by some random middle-aged science-nerd out on a hike, for a start.” I pointed out in a voice dryer than your average Murowaks sense of humor. This was what my danger-sense had been basically flipping tables and screaming in to my ear for? This? Something must have been up. My extra-sensory abilities were a pain in the skull both literally and figuratively, and annoyingly vague most of the time besides, but they didn’t start going off over nothing.

I returned my attention back to who I was guessing was either a Pokemon-researcher, or someone who’s job it was to survey and maintain areas like this rest-stop and the orchard, noting the battered old walking-stick resting in their left hand, and what looked like a fully expanded poke-ball with a weird glittering pink hand doing the ‘V for victory’ sign imprinted on the red half of the poke-ball, in pride of place roughly above the button and clasp portion.

“Well, this human seems nice?” Pikachu offered tentatively, before they smiled widely, perking up as something seemed to occur to them. “Oooh! Maybe they’ve got snacks on them; human snacks! Or maybe they’re just out here to help themselves to some fruit too? I mean, what’s the worst that could happen right dude? It just some old human, like Granpa Zippy! I bet he’s nice, he looks nice! Doesn’t he look nice Jabra?”

“Yeah, he sure looks nice, real swell guy! Maybe we should go and leave him to it, eh?” I agreed with more good cheer than I was currently feeling, ignoring the stab of pain followed by the cold shiver Pikachu’s continued taunting of Murphy elicited as I tried to nudge Pikachu into backing up, and Pikachu failed to notice that I was trying to back us both up and just leaned in to me, their attention on the ‘nice-looking human’ and the possibility of pets and snacks. Oh Pikachu, forever the optimist.

While we’d been chatting between each other, the old man had been thinking out loud, leaning against his walking cane as he seemed to study us intently, gaze friendly but piercing. I could make out most of what he was saying, though parts of it were swallowed up by Pikachu’s relentlessly cheerful and optimistic chatter.

“Well...a treat and, quite the stroke of luck to boot: a Pikachu and an Abra, both wild, and.…at that…could prove useful for my research...hmmm, but there’s been a larger intake of new trainers seeking their licenses than...and that Abra looks ready to collapse, the poor...will need to get it treated and checked over...yes, I think that would be best.” They mumbled to themselves, idly tossing and catching the poke-ball they held in their right hand, before with a casual wrist-flick and the press of a button, the poke-ball opened up, and in a rush of pink-tinted white light something flew out to re-materialize and coalesce in front of the human.

A...Wigglytuff? A really big Wigglytuff with battle-scars up and down its arms and its little hair-poof styled into a cute pink little pompadour.

“Mr. Wiggles, you’re up champ! Focus your Disable on the Abra’s teleport and tag the Pikachu too if you can. Follow up with ‘Play Rough’, but not too rough if you please, we need to bring them back to the lab.” The human ordered, the relaxed air of before replaced by the sudden tension of a looming fight as I tried to grab Pikachu and teleport us out and Pikachu instinctively tried to jump away and launch into an attack to stop the fluffy pink pokemon from wrecking our whole day.

Neither of us managed to do more than twitch before ‘Mr. Wiggles’ eyes glowed an ominous electric-blue and I felt them reach out with their power in a split second, waves of crackling energy forming into tendrils and loops that crossed the distance and started suffusing us both, rooting me to the spot as I felt something slam down over the aspect of my powers devoted to using teleport. Though it was less like a gate slamming shut and more like a favorite radio-station suddenly dissolving into shrieking static and then glommed up in a mass of white elmers glue for good measure.

“Run.” I snapped as we both managed to split up and rush in opposite directions, Pikachu skidding to a stop in a burst of speed, while I was forced to scamper across the clearing as fast as my legs could carry me, which compared to someone like Pikachu wasn’t very fast at all.

Not having access to teleport until the pink marshmallows disable wore off was going to suck massive lemons.

“I’m not going to just ditch you! Come on Jabra, we can totally take ‘em!” Pikachu growled, tensing up as they squared up and started sparking madly, glaring at Mr. Wiggles for all they were worth, teeth bared.

“Nothing personal guys, but orders are orders. Why don’t you two just make this easy on yourselves and come along quietly. Sammy’s good people, he ain’t gonna hurt yous, I promise.” The Wigglytuff called out to us, arms raised and tense in a loose defensive stance, their voice warm and mellow, with a little bit of a twang that put me in mind of someone trying to do their best Italian mafia wise-guy impersonation.

Frankly, I didn’t care if they started crooning ‘Dream A Little Dream of Me’ and ‘Mister Sandman’, I wasn’t about to roll over and surrender on some random ‘mons say-so. Now, I wanted to run, but without access to teleport I figured I was pretty useless aside from maybe being able to get in a few lucky shots. Pikachu clearly had his pride too, because the little glutton just sparked electricity harder, and leaned forward, raring to go.

“I’ll pass!” I called out.

“Yea, me too.” Pikachu snapped. ”Let’s hit the big pink jerk on three!”

Well, I guess we were really doing this, huh? I didn’t much like my chances of escape as is, but I wasn’t about to just run away on Pikachu like that. At this point I was resisting capture simply because my head hurt, I was now officially in a very very bad mood, and I was feeling extra petty after that little ultimatum. No idea what Pikachu was thinking though, given that unlike me he still had his gramps to consider, though I got the impression Senior Zippy was no stranger to pokemon trainers or fighting from what I’d observed of them.

“Three!” I barked out, already running for all I was worth, arms and legs pumping as I swept in from the left, while Pikachu zig-zagged in like an adorable little yellow rocket from the right.

This was such an incredibly stupid and terrible idea, and I didn’t need the added stabs of pain as my danger-sense kept yapping at me again to know that. But I guess I was fast becoming the king of bad decisions, because I threw myself into the fight while Mr Wiggles had my teleportation on lock-down anyways.

And then the two on one scrum began.

#Shock It To Ya!#Pokemon SI/AU Fanfic #Yep it's me; or at least an alt version of me #and a bit of a caricature at that #Jabra #Abra #Pikachu #Mr. Wiggles #Prof. Oak #Chapter One: Zap! Goes The Powerline #pokemon

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