moldyfloorboards
547 posts
vent blog || he/she/they || over 18
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16 hours ago
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Kill me
#the caffeine made one of my health issues much worse and now all I can do is wait for it to go away#my parents also keep bothering me#and I'm realizing yet again how few options I really have#I look and look for solutions but I'm just deluding myself. at the end of the day there's nothing for me to do#/馃崉
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I wish I could always feel this way
#all nighters suck obviously but the energy/high you get at the peak of it feels so good#if I could have that without being sleep deprived I'd be unstoppable#/馃崉
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Oh I also figured out how to use gifs
#I've been on this platform for over 4 years. it should not have taken this long.#/馃崉#this guy and his silly little animation plays in my head all the time
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I'm alive
If I die and end up in a chubbyemu video uhhh change the world my final message goodbye
#have I slept though? nope!#I don't feel as weird now but I still don't feel very good#and. as mentioned. I cannot sleep#aaaaaa#/馃崉
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If I die and end up in a chubbyemu video uhhh change the world my final message goodbye
#after taking two different (mild) laxatives and eating 150mg of coffee I'm not doing so well stomach-wise#the caffeine gummies I took were also opened a month ago so that probably didn't help#but people have lived through worse. probably#/馃崉
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Tried coffee again and it just made me feel a deep exhausion
#too tired to try to write this in a way that's abstract and relatable#not a calm tiredness or a sleep-deprived tiredness but something entirely different. like I could sleep for a million years#my parents want me to do online college. I'm probably gonna flunk out of that too but at least it buys me time#/馃崉
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I'm tired of trying to convince myself everyone feels like this and I'm just worse at dealing with it
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I feel so trapped
#trapped in my body unable to move. trapped in this house no hope of ever leaving.#I know I keep saying the same shit over and over but I can't do anything else#/馃崉
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dont kill urself until u try adderall and/or transitioning 馃憤
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I could be so much more than this and it hurts so much
#if anyone puts a game or animation or comic within 10 feet of me I will start crying hysterically#/馃崉#*through tears* at least I'm back to wanting things. that's good. I guess.
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wild how we have a medication that is super effective at treating a debilitating disability but its controlled to hell and back because What If Someone Takes It For Fun like i have an idea who gives a shit
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good things will happen聽馃挮
things that are meant to be will fall into place聽馃挮
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There are two wolves inside you. One wants to fight to take care of yourself even if it pisses people off, and the other wants to keep going until something really bad happens so maybe they'll finally learn to listen to you
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I feel so trapped inside my body, I wish doing anything wasn't such a battle everytime
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