mold-wizard

[mold-wizard]

Which is better, аlcohol fermentation or lactic acid?

Look. There are millions of species of fungi. How many of those are molds is kind of subjective, because the definition of "mold", like molds themselves, is kind of fuzzy. But it's thousands at least. Of those thousands of mold species, only a handful are used in culinary fermentation processes. And I'm not one of them.

That being said, I have some friends who are those types of mold, and... I'm not going to give a definitive answer to your question because I don't want to offend them. I mean, if I said alcohol fermentation was better then I'd be putting down my friends who are into lactic acid fermentation, and vice versa. You understand. So I'll just give you a hand-wavy answer of "It depends" or "They both have their place" and I'll leave it at that.

[mold-wizard]

Since another Tumblr user I will not name has decided to be a coward and stop reblogging mushroom pictures just because he was possessed by a fungus one time (and okay multiple copies of him are still possessed but that's beside the point), I'm going to have to take up the slack and start reblogging mushrooms myself.

Silent architects of rot and bloom, weavers in the forest gloom. Threads unseen through earthly veins, conjure life from death’s remains.

In dampened hush where roots entwine, they speak in tongues of arcane kind. A fleeting kingdom, soft yet grand— the ghostly breath of ancient land.

[mold-wizard]

"Toxic" is a relative term. These floating clouds of spores scattered around my wizard tower are toxic to you. To me, they're invigorating. Sexy, even.

[mold-wizard]

Way too many wizards just cast fireball over and over and never try to think outside the box. Or the ball. Why is it always a ball? Why not a firecube? A firetorus?

Me, I'm currently working on perfecting a fire-great-grand-stellated-polydodecahedron.

[mold-wizard]

No, no, it's okay! The slime in question had the ability to split off copies of himself, so I only took over some of him! Well.., maybe most of him. But not all of him.

And later, the part of the slime that I didn't take over signed a notarized document waiving all claims to the copies of him that I took over, and any further copies later split off from those copies, and declaring them my sole property in perpetuity. See? I've got the contract right here.

So it's fine. Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about.

"stop consuming brainrot"

Ma'am, this is a tumblr blog where I roleplay as a parasitic organism controlling a wizard with homosexual tendencies

I am not consuming brainrot

I AM the brainrot.

[mold-wizard]

Oh, thanks; been a while since I'd had some good cellulose. My wizard tower's in Antarctica, which is, you know, not known for its abundance of plant life...

"stop consuming brainrot"

Ma'am, this is a tumblr blog where I roleplay as a parasitic organism controlling a wizard with homosexual tendencies

I am not consuming brainrot

I AM the brainrot.

[mold-wizard]

Whoa, hey, I don't think we've met before, but I'm... well, not exactly the same thing, but I'm a parasitic wizard controlling an organism with homosexual tendencies, so close enough. (Well, my primary host bodies are magical shapechanging slimes; not sure they technically count as organisms.)

Good to meet a fellow mind-controlling parasite; I think we're really underrepresented in the wizard community.

"stop consuming brainrot"

Ma'am, this is a tumblr blog where I roleplay as a parasitic organism controlling a wizard with homosexual tendencies

I am not consuming brainrot

I AM the brainrot.

[mold-wizard]

Fun fact: the reason that wallpaper dyed green with arsenic-based pigment caused toxic reactions even in people who didn't come into direct contact with it is because molds growing on the arsenic-laden paper released toxic compounds. The molds themselves, of course, were unharmed by the arsenic compounds.

The reason I bring this up, of course, is merely to say that I'm going to lick all the spellbook covers I want to!

STOP LICKING THE SPELLBOOK COVERS

THEY'RE GREEN BECAUSE OF THE (VERY TOXIC) ARSENIC PIGMENT

THEY'RE NOT GREEN APPLE FLAVOURED!!!

[mold-wizard]

*very slowly carves a single line into the wall near the button*

So, I've decided to add a self-destruct button to my wizard tower.

[mold-wizard]

I wonder if they can tell from the inside that the crystal they're sealed within is shaped like what tumblr likes to call a "peanus"...

[mold-wizard]

I've actually started collecting crystals with naked guys sealed inside them. Got a whole shelf full.

I think my favorite is the one with the two twinks sealed inside the same crystal together who sometimes climb up on each other's shoulders like they think they can... you know, get to the top of the crystal or something. Yeah, that's not getting you out of the crystal, pals.

[mold-wizard]

I see so many people doing sloppy crystal-sealings that it's good to see someone do it right.

You see those clothes on the ground? Yeah, that's right. Those don't go in the crystal. You just seal the person in the crystal. Not what they're wearing. Not what they're carrying. Just the person.

Why? Well, a few reasons.

First, because then you get their stuff. Rifle through their wallet, take their cash and credit cards, hell, hock their clothes at a secondhand store, because why not.

Second, because what if they were carrying something that let them escape from the crystal? Say you trap someone in a crystal who happens to be carrying an interplanar teleport token. You let them bring that into the crystal with them, they crack the token, ping, they're outta there. You trap just them in the crystal and leave their stuff outside, they're stuck in the crystal and the token is yours now.

And third, that means they're trapped in the crystal naked. I don't think I have to explain why that's an upside.

[mold-wizard]

Or, you know, the eyes could be completely unconnected to what you ate; the fact they're showing up at the same time could be just a coincidence. It could be that you're being followed by Olholaga the Omnipresent Observer, who manifests as a vast collection of eyes on every object within a certain area. I'd heard they recently escaped from the otherdimensional prison they were cast in by the Council of Ignorance. Not sure why they'd be following you, but hell, I'm not sure why Olholaga the Omnipresent Observer does anything.

I'm not saying it definitely is Olholaga the Omnipresent Observer; just wanted to bring up the possibility. Just in case it is, though, I'd advise against whistling tunelessly while the eyes are there. Olholaga the Omnipresent Observer hates that.

Fellas, I’ve been eating random unknown shit in the forest again, in the name of magic of course, but I think I fucked up.

I couldn’t say if it was a slime mold, particularly damp moss, droppings I couldn’t identify, or whatever else, but I ate a good bowlful. Next thing I know, I’m barfing up things I’ve never eaten and everything I look at has eyes that are looking at me. And the eyes are giving me fierce lööks 🤨

[mold-wizard]

Sure. Accidentally.

You've just accidentally been hogging all the prime poison swamp real estate.

i think i accidentally lived my entire life in a poison swamp

[mold-wizard]

Which come to think of it they also can't do...

Fly, my familiar!

[mold-wizard]

For the record, I don't mean, like, fly through the air. My familiar Notty is a slime mold. They can't literally fly.

I'm just telling my familiar to go fast.

Fly, my familiar!

[mold-wizard]

Fly, my familiar!