Lilly: Good morning New Babel, you're listening to Screw Loose, your favorite early-morning exo rig and rig maintenance rig show this side of the white river, I'm Lilly.
The Bear: And I'm the Bear, and you- are on the air. What can we help you with?
Caller: Howdy girls! Togen, from the South Teykile. I've got a bit of a mystery for ya, I was hoping you could help me solve it.
Lilly: Oh lovely! I think we're ready to sleuth.
The Bear: What the problem doll?
Togen: So I'm a boatwright. About a month ago, I'm on the job in a Wylan Mastiff UD-940. I'm lifting a panel of ship-chitin that weighs maybe 1000 kilograms, and I can feel the exhaust channels getting hot.
The Bear: Uh oh.
Lilly: Uh oh indeed.
Togen: I figure I'm overcycling, but the Mastiff can pull 1000kg easy right? So I put down the panel, and suddenly, BOOM! Radiator explodes right out of the chassis! I can hear the I-bolts ping against field tech's facemask!
[Both hosts begin to laugh]
Lilly: Huh!?
The Bear: Okay okay hold on a second-
Togen: I've got an insulated undersuit, but the radiator is just full-on burning at this point. Now, I'm not about to jump into the Occimedian with my rig on, so I slam the emergency kill. So now I'm lyin there, facefirst on the dock, hollerin for the other idiots to put me out!
The Bear: You had an extinguisher right?
Lilly: Maybe someone had a drink?
Togen: Well...Okay so get this. The yard has an extinguisher. That's union. But before someone could grab it, one of the boys uh, relieves himself, on the radiator.
[The hosts are silent for a moment, but can't keep it going. Lilly snorts loudly as she laughs.]
Togen: Hey it worked! Problem is, the damn thing hasn't been running right ever since. I replaced the radiator that evening, but for some reason I'm only getting about 70, 80 percent torque when I lift, but its only from certain positions. I've taken the thing to two different shops at this point, and they both said that everything looked fine. I’m at the end of my rope here ladies, can you help me?
Lilly: Sleuthing hats on!
The Bear: Well sir, I think I know what your problem is. You set yourself on fire, and then someone pissed on you.
Lilly: Yeah! Just tell the boys at your local rig shop, they'll know what to do.
[The hosts pause for a moment, deliberating]
The Bear: Well damn Togen, you've given us two mysteries for the price of one.
Lilly: First, we gotta figure out why your radiator exploded. Then, we gotta figure out why your lift capacity is damaged. Okay, replacing the radiator was the right call, did you have them look at the recycler?
Togen: Yeah, when the first guy said it was fine, I took it to the second shop, and they said the recycler was probably running cold in the early morning air, you know, building up heat in the radiator.
[lilly scoffs]
The Bear: That guy didn’t know what he was talking about. The recycler generates a ton of heat. While your rig is live, they’re actually floating in coolant because they generate so much heat.
Lilly: Hmmm. Did you have any custom work on the Mastiff before it exploded?
Togen: Yeah. Lets see…I had the 8-cell replaced with a 10-cell, added a fluid circulator, and full weatherizing. Tubes, seals, soles, the works.
The Bear: The weatherizing, synthetic or biosynthetic?
Togen: Biosynthetic ma’am.
The Bear: Here’s what I think happened. Whoever shopped your rig under-tightened the bolts, and used overripe sealant. See, the biosynth sealant that Wylan uses is self-repairing, and it feeds on heat. I bet that when they replaced your power supply, they left a gap, so the sealant started growing into your radiator channel, sealed it up like a pressure cooker and BOOM.
Lilly: Okay love, when you try squatting to pick something up in the rig, is there chugging from the leg hydraulics? Or is it more like the force just hits a wall at 70%?
Togen: There’s definitely chugging.
The Bear: Have you checked the tubing rings? You might’ve vented some heat onto them during the explosion, caused a hairline breach?
Lilly: Bearie dear I have a hunch. If he burned the rings he’d know. They’d pop right out as soon as he tried to squat. Follow me here.
The Bear: Uh oh.
Lilly: [starting to laugh] No! Listen! Okay you said you added a fluid circulator right?
Togen: Yes ma’am.
Lilly: Listen! Okay! Love! Here’s what I think happened! So urine has both salt and uric acid in it right? Both corrosive substances. I’d bet my bonnet that when you hit your kill switch, it took a moment or two for the circulator to spin down. There was probably already some urine in your radiator. That urine had enough time to get circulated into your hydraulics, where it’s been sitting, corroding your internal glide sheathes.
The Bear: [laughing] Oh my lord that has to be it. Yes. Yes! That has to be it! Here’s what you’re gonna do, doll. You’re gonna take it to the local garage. You’re ask them for a total flush. Your biosynthetics should heal within a week.
Lilly: And while you’re there, have them check the I-bolts on the new radiator chassis!
The Bear: How’s that sound doll?
Togen: Well gosh ladies, I’m gonna be honest. The boys at the shop yard have a betting pool on just what was wrong with the rig, and I think all of us might owe the two of you some money. Thank you so much!
[The hosts laugh]
The Bear: Good luck doll!
Lilly: Thanks for your call!
[The show transitions to commercial]
(If you want to read the full novel in this universe, Amber Skies is linked in my pinned post)
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