missycj-blog1

[missycj-blog1]

part 1: pedestrian lane

It is gloomy at that time of year in Amsterdam. The cold runs on people’s skin, making them shiver and their goosebumps visible. The streets are slippery wet, window glasses are moist, and umbrellas are raised blocking one’s vision.

9th of July, Monday, 6:00am: Apartment

You hate waking up early in the morning, and you treat your alarm as your worst enemy. You always set it 30 minutes before it snoozes to get your droopy eyes, lazy bod, and dysfunctional mind ready to face the day. When you get up, you always try to recall last night’s dream, yet you forget, as it has always been that way. As you do your routine, you play your For Rainy Days playlist to lift up the mood. Choosing clothes and accessories to wear also helps to excite you in the AM. You prefer hot teas because you hate the smell of coffee, when it is poured into your cup and when it leaves its scent in your mouth. Since the university is just 7 blocks away from your apartment, you don’t drive, you walk. Well, you don’t have your license yet, you don’t really have a choice.

7:00 am: Stoplight

Through drought and famine, natural disasters, my baby has been around for me

The last song plays off your playlist as you stop and wait for the pedestrian lights to turn green. A boy stands idly across the lane and catches your attention. His skin is very pale, close to the snow’s hue. He wears black, all black from head to toe. The only living colour in his appearance is his lips, they almost possess all shades of red. He freely taps his shoe to the music he’s listening, making people want to as well listen.

The light finally shifts from red to green, and you start walking towards his space. He steps forward, making your pulse beat at a great speed. You can’t keep your eyes off of him. It seems like you know him, and you did not want the walking to end. You needed the lane to be longer and your midpoint farther. The song playing seems to fade, and you started hearing his footsteps louder. He stares at you like he knows you too. As you nearly walk past each other, you avoid contact.

‘Shit, shit. Shit? Shit! Why did I stare at him like that? Am I creepy? Did he feel uneasy? Stupid. We were the only ones crossing the lane. Who else would I stare at? Dummy. Duh. Your way to university. Where else could it be’, you whispered in your head. You regret the way you observed him, but you are far more distracted of how you reacted to the situation. How much can a stranger leave you that certain feeling? You usually don’t care about anything, other than your dancing.

2:00 pm

Walking across the corridors of your college, you hear piano keys played smoothly that you want to search where it comes from. You peek through the privacy window of every classroom until you reach the music room. There is a grand piano situated at the corner of the room which is played by some boy. You can’t clearly see his face, but you wish to. You decide to stay and sit outside the room to prevent disturbance. You are still stunned by the piece, making your eyes close and your soul sway.

Minutes have passed, you slowly open your eyes. The music stopped, you don’t know for how long. At your peripheral vision, you noticed a person leaning at the door, facing your direction. You carefully look upwards and surprised at who you just saw. It is the same boy from the stoplight. Fuck, (Y/N.) The. Same. Boy. Pale. Skin. Black. Clothes.

As your eyes meet, he puts a smirk on his face. You look down as you feel embarrassed, thinking of how silly you are for staying. You stand up and try to look at him again. You couldn’t focus. The moment you look back at his eyes, his nose, his lips, everything he is, your body starts to shiver.

‘Hi!’, he brightly greeted.

‘Hey’, you replied. Why did we meet again? Why the hell am I nervous again? Be cool, (Y/N).

He stands straight and slips his hands into his pockets. ‘Do you play the keys too?’ he added.

‘No, I dance. I just heard the music playing, wondered where it was from, found it and listened.’

‘Did you like it?’ he asked. He tiptoes and stands straight with his hands in the same place.

‘It did catch my attention. I found it beautiful,’ you smiled. Oh. My. God. (Y/N) That was cheesy. Should I rephrase it, I should rephrase it. ‘I mean—’.

‘Really? Thanks. I’ve been working on it for a long time. I still feel like I’m missing something. I hope I can get to finish it over the weekend.’

Shit??? He plays the piano. The pedestrian lane guy. It left you in shock.

‘I think I recognise you, have we met?’ he asked.

‘Have we? I’m not that sure.’ you answered falsely.

‘Mmm... pedestrian lane!’ both of you said in a higher pitch while pointing at each other.

You laughed it off and asked for his name. ‘I didn’t get your name.’

‘’It’s Yoongi, and you are?’

‘I’m (Y/N). Nice to meet you’, you replied. Your phone suddenly rings. It is your trainer, calling you for dance practice.

‘Do you have to go?’ asked Yoongi, with a slight tone of disappointment in his voice.

‘Unfortunately yes, but I’m glad we met. See you around, Yoongi!’ you hurriedly left.

He waves his hand, places it back into his pocket and steps inside the room.

6:00 pm: Train

You are too tired to walk home so you decided to take the tram. Your place takes two stops from the university and you arrive home in a snap. At a nearby convenience store, you fetch some instant noodles and drinks. A steamy, noodle soup with right amount of spice, paired with soda fits right in this kind of weather. You choose to have a movie night, since you can never go wrong with that. It doesn’t matter even if you’re alone, it is always better. Maybe not always. Maybe.

After a nice bath, you jumped into your tank top and lady boxers. You wear long socks when you sleep, thinking that the ankle ones disappear as you wake up. When you lie down, you remembered the pedestrian lane guy. You thought you forgot his name but you didn’t, even at that moment of rushing to class. Yoongi isn’t a common name, it is rare that it might only be him who was named after it. You try to think of its spelling, number of letters, even words possibly. If it is a name his family called him when he was a kid, or a name he just wants to be called as. You want to know more about this boy, whom you just foolishly met at a pedestrian lane. Just a casual pedestrian lane.

As the clock ticks, it feels like it was a need to know him more. No reasons, just urge. You try to sleep, but when you close your eyes, you see his face. It’s almost like a curse that you couldn’t get him off your head. A curse that you won’t be needing a spell to break.

The atmosphere is cold, dark, and your body feels warm. From your hips, to your waist, all the way to your chest, neck and face. You knew what you needed that night. So you attempt to touch yourself. You slip your fingers down your own as you slowly squeeze your breast. You hide under your sheets feeling embarrassed of your needs. You close your eyes, wanting a presence to see. Visibly clear, pale skin. Black clothes. All shades of red. Lips. Hair. Everything he posseses. You rub your own as hard and as fast as you can possibly do. Pale skin. Smirk. Piano keys. Fingers. Lips. Red. Snow. Repeat. You go faster and harder by time. You open your eyes and you sighed to satisfaction. You finally reach your high yet you want it to be better, better than just yourself alone the next time.

22nd of July, 7:00am: Stoplight

You love walking to university, you love how it boosts your body, how the wind sits on your skin and makes your hair fly away from your face. You even love it more when you met him, you learn how to love mornings, how every step you make exciting, and how you search for a boy with paper skin and charcoal clothes in every direction.

It has been two weeks since you last saw Yoongi and you wondered why. No existence of him under the pedestrian lights, nor the lane, nor the hallways of college, nor the music room, nor behind the grand piano. You try to search for him, of where he might be existing. The fortune starts escaping, as there seems to be no place for him to be found.

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