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ONE SHOT : Girlfriend, boyfriend, they say - [Part 3]

PAIRING : Jules Koundé x Black reader

SUMMARY : Quality time, unconditional support, unlimited attention, gifts, acts of service, unique chemistry, an unbreakable bond, physical touch, the perfect match, the perfect mix for a great relationship, they say. Yet, a major ingredient was missing.

Warnings (+18) : angst, heartbreak, fluff and mention of SMUT - Words : 11k. - Read part 2 here.

Note : Hey, girlies! I'm back, this time only a week later 😌 This is the last part of a mini series. In my head it was suppose to be a two-part one shot, but you know that writing short stories is not what I do best. (I should start doing so to be able to post more tho 😫). Anyway, thanks for the love and support I received. Every single interaction meant something 💕 I truly hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. 😘

English is not my first language. Writing takes a lot of time, if you enjoyed, please reblog, comment and interact.

Jules focused on the weight in his hands. Each time he lifted, images of you whispering in that man's ear came back to his mind. The way you giggled, the way you danced with him, the way you allowed him to touch you. All of that enraged him. 2Pac - Hit them up, playing in the background, only adding fuel to his rage.

What affect him most was the conversation that followed. He was mad at himself for letting his ego, fears, and jealousy take the lead. Of course, he wanted to be with you and be your man. Yet, at the moment, he stayed quiet, fully controlled by his fear of rejection and pain. If only he had opened his mouth, you would not be here today. Instead, you would be standing by his side, visiting him, and most of all, talking to him.

The radio silence, the distance, the emptiness—he felt it all. Jules deeply missed you. It drove him crazy to know that he no longer had access to you, one of the best connections he ever had.

He lifted, lifted, and lifted again. The pain in his bicep felt like a light inconvenience compared to his heartache. He ended up dropping the weight on the floor. The noise resounded in the room, not enough to cover the loud groan he left.

His breath accelerated, matching his heartbeat. Drops of sweat rolled from his forehead to his eyes. He needed to calm down, but the images kept coming back. He despised himself more for not stepping up. For letting you go, thinking that his silence would convince you, letting fear and jealousy get over his head.

He sat down on the floor, rubbing his face. What killed him was the lack of responses. The last message you sent him was the last time he heard from you. Texts, vocals, FaceTime, DMs, phone calls—he tried it all. Same result, his messages were left on read. Each time he hoped for a response, ideally a vocal one, to hear the sound of your voice. Right now, he would have to rely on his memory to remember your smell, voice, laugh, face, touch, kisses, and even the way you thought.

Unfortunately, he always ended up disappointed. The small film of your story replay in his head. Where went wrong? What could have been done better? What did he miss or misunderstand? He would have given everything to go back in time, not to the dispute in his apartment, but to that night in Paris. He should have asked you before.

"Putain." - Fuck. He cursed, punching in the air. What a fool! He fumbled the woman of his dreams. Jules took a deep breath. He would not resign that easily. You needed to know that we would not easily give up. He took his phone and typed, "Chérie, pourquoi tu me fais ça? Je tiens à toi et tu le sais. Tu me tue là. Réponds, s'il te plaît. Je veux m'expliquer avec toi." - Darling, why are you doing that to me? I care about you, and you know it. You're killing me right now. Answer, please. I want to explain myself.

Je t'aime. - I love you. He wrote and deleted. It burned him, consumed him, not what happened, but his love for you. In his head, things were pretty clear: you or you.

His eyes lit up with hope when he noticed the dots on his screen. You were writing or recording. Either way, he would eventually get a reply. He chewed on his bottom lip, impatient to read the reply. Yet, he also hoped that you will not brutally stop writing and leave him on read once again. It has happened before. For some reason, he knew today would be different.

"Laisse moi, Jules. J'ai pas envie de te parler. You had your fun with me, now let me move on, please. I’m pretty sure many girls would love spending time with you.” - Leave me alone, Jules. I don't want to talk to you.

Jules bit his bottom lip out of frustration. Obviously, he hoped for a different response—a more open one. No matter what, giving up was not part of the plan. The replies would not stop him. He loved you and would fight to rectify the situation. No one else could make him feel the way you do. No other girl could replace you. Jules knew it would be easy to find someone to lay with. Finding another strong bond was nearly impossible.

****

Taliah sat on your couch. The two of you just finished watching Bridgerton Season 3, a good form of entertainment to distract your mind. Before you focused on TV, you decided to empty your sac. She gave you a gentle rub on the shoulders.

Once the show ended, silence came back. By the look on your face, Taliah knew that you were not doing well. Even if you tried to downplay it at the beginning,

"So it's truly over with Jules?" You shrugged.

"Who cares? You were right. I'm probably another girl on his fucking roaster. I'm just mad because I wasted time and energy with him. I could have done something else."

”Hum… I'm not sure he has a roaster.”

"Thanks for trying, but I'm not that naive. I mean not after that reality check. I thought he loved me. I don't know. The man cannot make me his girl, there’s nothing I can do. I literally told him that he could make things right, but he never responded until I left. If he loves me, why not make me his girl? If that were the case, I would never have danced with Ruben.” You confessed with a pinch of anger.

"Do you regret flirting and dancing with Ruben?” Taliah asked in a serious tone.

”Not really. It was a good wake-up call, I guess. My only regret is not taking Ruben’s phone number. I said no because of Jules. Now we're not even talking anymore.” You explained with a giggle. Taliah attentively stared at you, she did not believe one word. She could hear the regret in the sound of your voice.

”So if you could, you’d do it again? You’d even take Ruben’s number this time?” You hated how well Taliah could read you. Obviously, if you could go back in time, you would have done things differently. It would be a lie to say that the current situation does not hurt you.

”Taliah… Come on.”

”If you really want to move on and heal, you need to be honest with yourself.” You rolled your eyes.

”No, I wouldn’t. The only reason I did it was out of fear. I instantly regretted it when I noticed the pain in his eyes. At the same time, I refuse to feel 100% guilty. He’s not my man.”

”Yeah, but you love him. You couldn't be indifferent to his pain and feelings.” You played with your hands, avoiding Taliah’s insistent stares.

”We all make mistakes. The most important thing is to not make the same ones over and over. I don’t think he stayed silent because he has a roaster somewhere. Maybe he never wanted to ask. Who knows? That’s his loss. You’re a bad bitch. He’s not the only great guy you can pull off. It's not too late for Ruben, you can still slide in his DMS."

"Yeah. I don't feel like that's the moment to make another connection." You replied with no conviction. Sure, you could attract another man, but you wanted him. Jules was your person.

”On a more serious note, I don’t think he was lying.”

”Are you joking, Taliah?” You surprisingly asked.

”From what I’m hearing, it’s a big misunderstanding between you. It's weird, but I feel like he was sincere. Maybe you should let him explain himself."

”I don’t care, Taliah. He had the chance to ask, but he still didn’t. It’s clear that he never had the intention to do so. I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I’m going to grieve and move on. Life goes on.” You concluded with a firm tone. Taliah knew that the conversation would end here. You have already shut down.

Her heart broke into pieces each time she laid eyes on you. The emptiness in your eyes, your lack of appetite, and the glistening eyes killed her. She was sad, but she could understand where you were coming from.

It only got worse when she heard you sobbing in your bed at night, if only she could do something to soothe your pain.

Multifaceted, baby. I can do it all. 💕😘

Jules mindlessly scrolled on his Instagram, anything to get you out of his mind. The attempt clearly failed, as one of your latest posts appeared on his screen. He noticed that you posted pictures of your last holidays with him. Jules knew it meant nothing. You simply used the pictures for your profile's aesthetics.

He automatically licked his lips. His eyes were focused on his phone the entire time. You were gorgeous, sexy, and charismatic. The perfect combo matched a bomb personality. He could have you for himself, but he messed it up.

The worst idea Jules had today was scrolling through the comment section. It was full of people praising your beauty. There were many high-profile men who shamelessly commented on your body or face. Words, quotes, emojis, jokes—each one tried his best to catch your attention. Hopefully, none of them will get your attention. It would kill him to know that you are already trying to move on.

Jules gulped as a pinch of frustration resurfaced. He should have asked you that special day, probably one of the best days of his life. He remembered how his entire being warmed and how his eyes lit up during your unpredictable visit to Barcelona. He was surprised to see you, but that was all he needed to be the happiest man in the world—his chérie right in front of him.

The day started with a shopping session and continued with a cosy night on his balcony. With music playing in the background, food and drinks in the middle, the two of you talked about everything and anything, just like best friends would. This was the day he realised he never wanted to lose you. He loves you. Hearing your giggles was music to his ears. Getting the chance to talk on various subjects, listen to your opinions and points of view was a privilege. He certainly loved your physique, but your mind, spirit, and soul fascinated him.

That night, he made love to you like it was his last day on earth. It was intense, vibrant, and unique. He never wanted to let you go. Falling in love was not the plan, but it happened. Jules should have asked that particular day when everything was going on perfectly. Yet, his doubts stopped him. What if his love was not reciprocated? Things were going a little too well—the woman of his dreams, the whole package. What if he was not the man of your dreams? It could ruin your relationship forever. That night, he chose silence instead of losing you.

The comments proved one thing, a relationship status would never stop all the thirsty men. If he had stepped up sooner at least he would get the comfort of knowing that you were committed to him and him only. He wanted to be the only man to share your bed, the one to make you laugh, the only one to dry your tears, listen to your complaints, ease your life, and help you achieve your dreams and goals. Anything that could contribute to your peace or happiness, he would do it.

From there, Jules clicked on your profile to see more. He remembered the first time he visited your Instagram page. The beauty and mysterious side charmed him. He wanted to know more. He needed to explore the mystery you were. You corresponded to the woman who fascinated him in the club.

****

During his small break, Jules went to Madrid to visit his friend, Aurélien. The man teasingly tapped Jules’ shoulder. He knew that those were his last free days, as he would have to fully focus on the EURO soon. Clairefontaine was right around the corner, it means full focus on the competition.

The conversation started lightly until Aurélien brought the subject that pained him to the table.

”You’re still thinking about that girl." Jules ignored his friend's comment. He simply gave him a cold glare.

"I get it. She's a 10, nice and tight body. I know that ass got you but please get off the floor."

"Je ne l'aime pas juste pour son cul ou son corps. Arrête tes conneries." - I don't like her just for her ass or body. Stop your bullshit.

”Détends toi, je rigole. Tes yeux brillent quand tu parles d’elle. Je sais que c’est plus qu’un simple corps.” - Relax, I’m joking. Your eyes are glistening when you’re talking about her. I know that she’s more than a hot body.

Jules let out a loud sigh that presented nothing good. Aurélien suspected that something had happened. Usually Jules would talk about you even through messages. Today, he tried to avoid the subject.

"Jules, poto. Qu'est ce qui se passe? Elle t'a troublé la jolie demoiselle là, on dirait.” - Jules, bro. What's going on? It looks like the beautiful lady is causing trouble.

”It’s not funny, Aurélien.” He finally replied with a serious face.

"No, seriously. Tell me what's up. As far as I remember, you weren't serious. Just messing around." He played with his moustache, thinking about everything that had happened in the last six months. Jules explained the situation to Aurélien, who attentively listened. He looked invested as he had rarely seen a woman have this effect on his friend.

"Ah ouais, c'est chaud là. Tu l’aimes vraiment on dirait.” - Damn. It's tough. It looks like you really love her.

"C'est la femme de ma vie. Je te le dis.” - She’s the woman of my life, I'm telling you. Aurélien laughed out loud.

”Pour le moment, pas trop hein. Vous vous parlez à peine.” - Not for the moment, huh. You guys are barely talking.

”Je sais mais je m’en fou. Je vais trouver un moyen de lui parler. Elle me manque, je te jure. Je savais pas que j'allais autant le ressentir. Je sais même pas si ça l’affecte elle.” - I know, but I don’t care. I'm going to find a way to talk to her. I miss her, I swear. I never imagined I could feel that way. I don’t even know if she’s affected as much.”

”Attends, pourquoi tu lui as pas demandé avant, bro? Tu aurais tellement pu éviter ça.” - Wait, why didn’t you just ask her before, bro? You could have avoided it.

”I wanted to ask her in Barcelona after she surprised me, but I... I just assumed she didn’t feel the same, so I gave up. A month ago, I was motivated again, so I planned to ask her in Paris after the match. Everything was ready and meticulously prepared: fresh flowers, her favourite pastries, balloons, gifts, everything. I cancelled because the week before, I said I love you and she replied, I appreciate you. I thought there would be no change. I’d never thought she wanted the same thing.” Aurélien jokingly cringed and put her hand on his chin.

”Non chaud. J'avoue, j’aurais pas demandé. Je t’aime, elle répond, je t’apprécie. Ça fait mal. Après, c’est ta faute aussi avec ta Kimberley là. Je l’aime tellement pas elle. Bref, elle était surement fâchée à cause de ça, c’est pour ça elle t’a répondu: je t’apprécie. Elle était jalouse.” - Tough. I admit, I wouldn’t ask either. I love you, and she replies I appreciate you. It hurts. Also, it’s your fault with your freaking Kimberly. I can’t stand her. Anyway, she was probably jealous. That’s why she replied, I appreciate you. She was jealous.

Jules let out a loud groan and threw his head back. ”Putain. Ça me casse les couilles. Comment je vais arranger ça? Par contre, j’ai encore le seum d’elle avec son Ruben là. Ça j’accepte pas.” - Fuck. It fucking gets on my nerves. How am I going to fix this? However, I'm still pissed at her with her freaking Ruben. I don’t accept that.

”Mon frère, je sais pas mais faut faire vite hein. If you don’t act right, the next man is going to. You need to be honest. Look at the body and face.” - My brother, I don’t know, but you better hurry. Jules gave him a death glare.

He remembered how Aurélien once had his eyes on you, but he had to let it go when he realised that he would never get a reply. The second you went on a date with Jules, the case was closed. He would never again try anything.

"Not gonna lie, you have competition. Jude found her Instagram recently and hasn’t stopped talking about her ever since. He keeps saying that she’s stunning, he needs to reach out, her body is insane. The brother was biting his lips at her and stuff.” Jules clenched his jaw, he had competition, but he would not be impressed, not when these men never spend half of the time he has with you.

"She's too grown for him. He can’t handle that.” Aurélien laughed out loud, shaking his head at the same time.

"They're just five years apart. Also, you know Jude doesn't care, he loves a baddie.”

"Il n'a même pas intérêt à l’approcher. Je rigole pas.” - He better not approach her. I’m not joking.

"Tu vas faire quoi? T'es pas son gars.” - What are you going to do? You’re not her man.

Jules rolled his eyes, he could not care less. He would not allow anyone to come between him and the woman he loves.

”T’inquiète, bientôt, je serais son gars.” - Don’t worry, I’ll be her man soon.

”En tout cas, si tu la veux vraiment, montre lui. Perds plus de temps.” - If you really want her, show her anyway. Don’t waste any more time.

”Je sais, mais je sais pas comment lui parler ou la voir. Elle me réponds pas.” - I know, but I don’t know how to talk to her or see her. She won’t even respond to me.

”You’ll figure it out. I’m not worried.” Aurélien reassured Jules with a tap on the shoulder.

”Anyway, no to be that guy, but she’s fine fine. Does she have a sister or anything?” Jules suddenly smiled. He had an idea. Maybe Aurélien could play a part in his plan.

”Qu’est ce qu’il t’arrive? Pourquoi tu me regardes comme ça? T’es taré toi.” - What’s going on with you? Why are you looking at me like that? You’re nut.

Jules had a big grin on his face as he remembered a detail that could help him have access to you.

”Parce que j’ai un plan et tu vas m’aider. Non seulement tu vas m'aider, mais tu vas aussi faire la connaissance de la cousine de ma chérie.” - Because I have a plan, and you’re going to help me. Not only you’re going to help me, but you'll also meet my darling’s cousin.

”J’aime le plan, mais montre d’abord une photo.” - I like the plan, but show a picture first. Jules took his phone out and showed him Amara’s profile. Aurélien whistled when he stared at the pictures.

”Putain. Elle est fraiche hein. Le visage, le corps, je valide.” - Fuck. She’s fly. Face, body, I approve.

The more Aurélien looked at her pictures, the more he bit his lips.

”Elle te veut hein.” - She wants you. Aurélien furrowed his brows.

”Comment tu sais?” - How do you know?

”Sa propre cousine me l’a dit.” - Her own cousin told me. Jules confessed with a smirk on his face.

Aurélien giggled and shook Jules’ hand. ”Tu vois? C’est pour ça, on est amis toi et moi. J’aime le déjà plan. Déroule.” - See? That’s why you and I are friends. I already like the plan. Explain.

****

Two weeks later…

You calmly prepared to spend another day inside the house. For the moment, you were not in the mood to dress up and go outside. As you were cooking your dinner, knocks on the door made you jump.

”Who is that?” You yelled, hoping to discourage the person on the other side of the door.

”It’s the one and only Amara.” A giggle slipped from your lips as you rolled your eyes. You did not expect her to randomly come visit you, but there she was, one of the most unpredictable women.

”What are you doing here in London?”

”Yeah, the flight was good. Thanks for asking.” She sarcastically replied, taking her shades and shoes off.

”I’m serious. Is your mom okay?” You asked with a pinch of worry, hands on your stomach. Amara rolled her eyes, shaking her head in the process.

”She’s fine. You’re such a drama queen. I came here because I planned a weekend in Paris. We’re leaving tomorrow night. I don’t want to hear anything.” She raised one hand in the air and sat on the sofa.

Your eyes widen in surprise. Only Amara could have such ideas. She perfectly knew that you were not in the mood. Yet, she decided to go against your needs.

”Are you crazy? I’m not going, I’m not in the mood.”

”So you’re going to let Jules destabilise you? Come on! Life is too short to cry over a man, especially when you didn’t communicate your needs well.”

”There she goes. We’re not having that conversation.” You stopped her with a hand in the air. Your footsteps guiding you towards the kitchen. Unfortunately, Amara looked determined, so she followed.

”Y/N, I thought about it for the past few days and I said what I said. You should have asked directly.”

”Yeah, it’s all my fault, of course.” You sarcastically groaned.

”I never said that. Jules played a part too. He should have listened more and stepped up instead of giving you a silence treatment.” You let out an annoyed sigh as you chose to focus on your meal prep.

”It doesn’t matter. Jules is out of my life. We’re done. The past is the past, I should move. So, please, no more conversations about Jules.”

”Are you happy about the situation?” You frowned, wondering if Amara was not drunk.

”Oh yes! I’m happy to have a broken heart, to have left the man I wanted behind. Yeah, as you can see, I’m living my best life right now.” You trolled with another eye roll. Amara did not look disturb, she even laughed.

”So you miss him?” She replied with a grin.

”Amara, what’s wrong with you? I was at peace until you arrived. Don’t piss me off with your Jules.”

”My Jules? That’s your man, because, as far as I remember, he doesn’t like me. You still haven’t replied.”

”You already know the answer, quite playing. Of course, I miss him because I love him. He wasn’t a random flirt or hookup. I fell in love with the man. Are you happy? Can we talk about something else?” You spat while turning the oven off.

”Okay, now that you’ve admitted being sad, desperate, heartbroken, and depressed over him, we can talk about our weekend.” You groaned in frustration, missing the silence you had thirty minutes ago.

”I have planned everything. It’s going to be a very cool moment. You need to relax, have some fun, or something. Staying inside the house isn’t going to heal you.”

”I’m not going. I don’t feel like it.”

”I’ve already paid everything.”

”Well, it’s not too late to cancel. I don’t want to go to Paris.”

”Why does it remind you, Jules?” You sighed again, Amara was really against you today.

”No.” You lied. Of course, it reminded you of him. Both of you had spent beautiful moments there more than once.

”Then I don’t see any problems.” You rubbed your face, why did she insist so hard.

”Amara! I don’t want to leave my apartment. I love my silence, peace, and comfort. Paris wasn’t in my weekend plans. I even booked a nail appointment.”

”Are you throwing a tantrum for a nail appointment you can cancel anytime? Shit, you’re one of her best clients, you can reschedule. Anyway, I won’t argue with you. Either you come with me to Paris or I’ll tell your mother why you’ve been staying inside the house for the last few weeks. Choose wisely, you have five minutes.” She explained with a smirk on her face. God, she could be so annoying. Jules was right, she could be detestable.

You brushed your hands on your face. As much as you loved and trusted your mother, you refused to share the roots of your pain. The last few weeks she has been suspecting that you are not doing well. Each time, she tried to convince you to open up, but you could not. Your mother was open-minded, but old school still. The concept of a situationship would probably go over her head. For the moment, you prefer to heal on your own.

”I just want you to feel better, cousin. No more, no less. It’s coming from a place of love.” You gave her a death glare before picking up the dishes to lay them on the table.

”Fine, but I’m not going to the club or anything. Also, you don’t get to set me up with guys.”

”Relax, we’re going to chill at the hotel, do some shopping, eat good food, visit a museum, and go to the spa. It’s no big deal, don’t worry.” She reassured you with a genuine smile.

”Hum.” You replied and focused on the table. A moment of silence would not kill you. Inside, you were boiling. She ruined your plans, and you hated it.

”You have to come because I can’t cancel.” She added, hoping to ease the tension.

”Yeah, I know. Paris is quite expensive. Thanks, I appreciate it, but you should have kept your money.”

”Oh, I’m not paying, don’t worry.” You furrowed your eyebrows out of suspicion.

”Who is paying then?” Amara giggled, amused by the look on your face.

”My new boo.” She confessed with a naughty smirk, which made you roll your eyes.

”Who’s the new boo?”

”It’s none of your business.” She cut the conversation short. ”I’m starving, let’s eat.” The look on your face made her laugh again. ”Don’t worry, it’s not Jules.”

”Fuck you, Amara.” She exploded out of laughter as you sat down, ready to eat the home-made meals.

After dinner, you spent the night watching reality TV on Netflix, one of your favourite activities to do with Amara. Her comments and reactions never failed to make you laugh. However, this time she spent more time smirking at her phone. The new boo was certainly that special, Amara was not easy to impress. She oozed confidence and charisma and was very strict about her standards. It was very rare to see her guard down.

When she went to the bathroom, her phone vibrated. A wave of curiosity washed over you, the temptation was too strong. As a result, you discreetly looked at the screen, your mouth widened in shock when you read Sexy Aurélien.

You displayed a poker face, waiting for her to share the information with you. In your memory, you randomly spilled the tea to Jules, but you never thought that he would actually believe you and make things happen, especially not when he almost hated your cousin. Curiosity lingered at the top of your lips. Amara looked unbothered, she kept smiling and biting her lips at each vibration.

If Aurélien and her ever become serious, it mean that you would probably have to meet Jules again. The mere idea of it made you groan. She really picked the worst time to start something with Aurélien. Once you were both in bed, you decided to unleash your curiosity.

”Are you talking to Aurélien?” She stared at you, almost shocked to hear that question.

”How do you know?”

”I saw his name on your phone when you went to the bathroom.” Amara smiled, covering her body with the cotton sheets.

”Yeah, we’re talking. He’s amazing, better than whatever I imagined.”

"When did you meet and how?” You were pretty surprised to see how fast she got in touch with him.

”Since your ungrateful arse refused to help, I slid in his DMs.” She sarcastically attacked you.

”Bare me, please. I want all the details.” Amara poked her tongue at you.

”Nosy woman.” She joked and started to explain how she slid in his DMS and how fast he replied. They have been texting, calling, and flirting ever since.

”I’m going to see him soon. He invited me to games for the EURO and the Champions League finale. I’m so excited. Do you think they’re allowed to have sex during the competition?”

”I don’t know, I’m not a staff member, Amara.”

”Come on. You’ve been knowing Jules for a moment, you should know.”

”I don’t know. We’ve never been in that case.” In a whisper you remembered how your plans for EURO no longer existed. They vanished, just like Jules, if only the idea of him could disappear too.

”Why are you even asking me? I know that you’re going to sleep with him anyway. You don’t have what it takes to resist.” Amara slapped your arm.

”Actually, he invited me to Madrid last week, but I declined. See? I’m still holding tight to my standards.” You giggled.

”Congrats! You resisted for two weeks.” You teased her.

”We had sex on the phone to compensate.” The two of laughed, you felt light for a moment.

”Wow! Thank you for proving my point.”

”Aurélien is so... You can’t understand it if you’ve never experienced it. You know nothing, Mrs. Koundé.”

”Don’t fucking call me like that. Ever again.” You spat before slamming your pillow on her face. She laughed in return.

”I know it turns you on.” She replied out loud, which made you roll your eyes.

”Fuck you, Amara. I hate you. Good night.” You annoyingly said and turned your bedside lamp off.

”I don’t care, I still love you.” She joyfully responded while tickling your ribs. You could not resist, you laughed again. Whatever happened next did not matter, you laughed. It was enough for her. You laughed more than once.

****

Friday night, you arrived in the city of lights, Paris. The type of trip your brain or mind did not even imagine. Although you hated the idea at first, the simple feeling of being in another city already enlightened your mood. Amara was right, you needed it. To thank her for her beautiful act, you will make sure to make the most of it. You will force your mind to not think about Jules.

It has been a moment since he tried to contact you, he probably got the message and tried to move on, a new chapter could start for the both of you. At least next time, you will not allow yourself to make the same mistakes. If you ever thought about it, the current pain in your chest would be the perfect reminder.

The Uber stopped in front of one of the most prestigious hotels in Paris. You furrowed your eyebrow. There was no way in the world that Amara could afford it. She was still a student. You decided to keep the questions for later. As for now, you would simply stare at the fancy hall.

Once you were in the elevator, you decided to bring the subject up, ”Damn. Aurélien isn’t wasting time. You said you wanted to spend a weekend in Paris, and boom, he booked a fancy suite in a palace. That’s crazy. The phone sex was really good then.”

”How dare you? I can offer more than sex, don’t insult me.” Amara pretended to be offended.

”That’s not an insult, I’m just observing.”

”I’m more than sex, you know it.”

”I have no doubts. All I mean is that he’s really whipped.” She wheezed.

”You know how it is.” Amara tried to downplay your comments.

When she opened the suite door, you let out a loud gasp. The room was full of balloons, pastries, flowers, and petals. You were in shock. Aurélien really stepped the bar high. Amara had a smirk on her face, almost unfazed by the romantic surprise. The suite was perfect for a relaxing weekend, and the view made things even better.

Amara stood in front of the bedroom door, taking pictures of the decor. You clapped your hands.

”Wow. Aurélien deserves everything. He has planned all of that for you, that’s so cute. I really hope things are going to work out between you two. He set the bar so high.” Your eyes wandered around the room.

When Amara finished taking her pictures on the phone, she turned to you. ”I must confess something.”

”You need to call Aurélien first and thank him for everything, then we can talk.”

”Aurélien may have participated in the plan, but all those things aren’t for me. I hope you’ll find the strength to forgive me, cousin.” You furrowed your eyebrows, wondering what she was talking about.

Before you could even ask her what she meant, Jules exited the bedroom with a bright smile on his face. ”Coucou, ma chérie.”

Your brain froze, your heart stopped for a second as a wave of heat washed you over as untamed emotions took over, a part of you was delighted to see him. He looked even more beautiful than your memory. The other part wanted to jump on Amara’s throat for setting you up. Love, pain, anger, happiness, peace, and tourment, every emotion came back in full strength.

"Jules? What are you doing here? Amara, what is Jules doing here? In our room? It’s suppose to be a cousin getaway.” Those were the only words that came out of your mouth.

"I'm happy to see you too. Thank you." You looked away, refraining from an eye roll. Hearing his voice after three weeks brought back all the memories and feelings you had for him. Lust even knocked at the door as you noticed his new haircut, long locs. He looked even hotter like that. You hated it.

”Well, it’s a setup, the two of you need to discuss. It’s about that time. He loves you, and you love him. Get together and let us breathe, please.”

”How dare you, Amara? You promised.” You spat in growing anger.

”It’s for the better. Believe me. I’m sure Jules is going to reveal the plan as soon as you finish discussing.”

You suddenly realise how everything made sense, you should have suspected her from the beginning.

”That’s why you had access to Aurélien. Jules contacted you and...”

”Amara, you’re supposed to be on my side. Fucking traitor!” Your cousin raised her hands in the air.

”I wanted Aurélien, sorry.”

”You’re betraying me for dick?” You asked in shock.

”Not for a random dick. Aurélien’s.” She tried to joke, but you were not having it. Amara crossed a boundary.

Jules wanted to laugh out loud but tried to keep his composure. Amara, whom he once hated, became his ally and a person he enjoyed being around. She was very special and funny—a more extreme version of you.

”I had enough. I’m leaving.” You said in exasperation while you collected your small luggage. His warm hand on your forearm brutally stopped you from moving. You forgot how tender and gentle his touch could be. Another wave of emotions. This time, your eyes gradually filled with tears, but you fought. He could not see you cry, not after he let you go without fighting.

”Stay, please. Just listen to me, please.”

”Listen to you for what? We’re already done.”

”No, we still have things to talk about. If you don’t, I do.” He whispered with the same intention in his voice. You could still feel the love, tenderness, affection, and care. Things got worse when your eyes met him, your entire body came back to life, just like your heart. You still loved him.

Jules desperately waited for a reply. You could see the fear in his eyes. The fear of losing you for good. You simply nodded at him and freed your forearm.

”Amara I’m going to kill you. Jules, you have five minutes.”

”He’s going to need more than five minutes, Y/N.” Amara commented as she exited the room in a rush. She knew that you would cook her later on.

There you were standing in a suite alone with Jules. He smiled at you and invited you to sit down on the sofa.

”You look so beautiful, even more than you did weeks ago. How are you?” The question you did not want to hear from him.

”Jules, you don’t have much time. I advise you not to waste a minute. You didn’t plan all of this to ask me how I was doing or compliment me.” You replied with crossed arms.

”I wanted to know because I’m doing terrible. I miss you so much. That separation made me realise that I truly want you. I really want to be with you and no one else.” He confessed with a half-smirk. The silence did not intimidate him, he pursed.

”You’re mad at me. I know, I understand, but we need to talk seriously. What happened clearly could have been avoided. Are we really going to blow everything we have built for a misunderstanding and lack of communication? I don’t want to sacrifice that, not for such a reason." You looked right in front of you. Your eyes still refused to stare at him. The stakes were too high.

”Hum. I’m going to start if you don’t mind.” Jules added, putting a hand on his chest. You attentively listened. His eyes were still on you. Jules was not intimidated. He missed you too much to look away.

”J’ai pas compris ce qui s’est passé avant la dispute. I think there was a big misunderstanding about what we both wanted. Pour ma part, je voulais être en couple avec toi. I wanted to ask a long time ago, the day you surprised me with your presence in Barcelona.” - I don’t understand what happened before the fight. Personally, I wanted to be in a relationship with you. He paused and pursued.

”J’avoue que j’ai eu peur. Je me disais que tu allais me recaler. Bref. Time went on, and the same urge to ask you came back. That’s why I wanted you to come to Paris for the Champions League so badly. I planned to ask that night, but when you told me "I appreciate you", it killed me inside. For me, it confirmed that you wanted nothing serious, so I cancelled everything and gave up.” - I must admit, I got scared. I kept saying to myself that you’d say no. Anyway. Another pause, he tried to find his words. Jules wanted to be more open, you could feel it.

”When I saw the images of Ruben and you, it got worse. In my head, it was clear that I was just a fling to you, nothing more. If I didn’t reply that day, it’s because I had a lot to process. What I mean is that I already doubt your feelings and the episode with Ruben didn’t help. Ça m’a vraiment blessé. C’est comme çi tu t’en foutais de nous, de moi, alors que je t’ai dit que je t’aimais quelques semaines avant. Je veux juste que tu sois honnête avec moi. Si tu m’aimes pas, c’est okay, mais je veux pas rester dans le doute.” - It really did hurt me. It felt like you didn’t care about us, me when I just confessed weeks ago that I love you. I just want you to be honest with me. It’s okay if you don’t love me but I can’t be in doubt. You attentively listened to each word, as each one of them meant something. Amara was right, the two of you seriously needed to discuss. You both needed to know about your future, whatever you decide at the end.

”Merci pour ton honnêteté.” - Thanks for your honesty. You cleared your throat and started, ”My turn. When we met, I never thought that I’d end up falling in love with you. I mean, in my head, you were a simple fling. As months passed by, things started to change. I wanted more for us, more than a situationship. You treated me like a girlfriend for more than six months. At some point, I was convinced that you’d ask. Yet, you never did.”

Jules opened his mouth to respond, but you raised one finger in the air. ”Let me finish. I haven’t interrupted you, Jules.” He nodded, raising both palms in the air.

”T’as raison, excuse.” - You’re right, sorry.

”J’ai commencé à douter, à me dire que tu me voyais pas comme une potentiel copine. Tu m’aimais bien mais sans plus. I find it weird that you’d give me the girlfriend treatment without commitment. When I visited you in Barcelona, when you confessed your love, remember when you kept asking what was going on inside my head? Well, that was my issue. I was so confused, then you came and said "I love you". Without knowing, you did more damage than good. I thought you were playing, it felt like a slap in the face. That’s why I tried to bring up the subject on the beach then on the phone when we fought.” - I started to doubt, thinking that you don’t see me as a potential girlfriend. You didn’t love me like that. You threw your braids behind your shoulders, pausing for a moment.

”Maybe I should have expressed myself better. That’s a reality, but my past held me back. I didn’t want to blatantly ask and hear you say oh no I don’t see you like that. As I shared with you in the past, most guys never truly cared for my person. It’s all about my appearance, rarely about my thoughts, interest, fears, dreams none of it. I guess, I wasn’t ready to hear you express that to me. Say to me that you wanted nothing more than my physique.“ You confessed with heaviness. Being vulnerable was a hard task for you but it had to be done. It had to be done because deep inside, you truly cared about him.

”I know I need to do better at communicating, but I’ve dropped hints. Same week, we made love then I told that you were very special to me. You should have known that you’re more than a fling.” You paused, trying to refocus on what you wanted to say.

”For the Ruben episode, as I said the day we argued, I’m sorry. Sincerely sorry. I would have acted differently if I knew it would hurt you the way it did. I would have acted differently. I let my thoughts and ego get the best of me. I never thought it would affect you like that. In my head, you didn’t see me as a girlfriend, so it wouldn’t mean anything to you.”

Jules waited for you to pursued, but you nodded, allowing him to make his point. ”Bien sur que ça allait me faire du mal. Comment t’as pu penser ça? Je t’avais dit que je t’aime, j’étais sérieux. Je faisais tout pour te le montrer. Je comprends pas pourquoi tu as douté. Ce que j’ai fait pour toi, partagé avec toi, je ne l’ai jamais fait pour une autre. I gave you the girlfriend treatment because I wanted you to know how much I value you. How much you mean so much more than your body.” - Of course, it was going to hurt me. How could you think that? I told you I love you. I was serious. I was doing everything to show you. I don’t understand why you doubted. What I’ve done for you, shared with you, I’ve never done for another woman. Jules whispered directly staring at you. For the first time of the night, your eyes met. God, he was even more beautiful than your memory.

”Jules, I understand where you’re coming from, but things were different in my head. The man is giving me everything, except commitment. For me, it meant that you liked me, but not enough to commit. I should have expressed my feelings better, but you also could have asked and see my answer.”

"Yeah, you’re right, but your response to my confession was a slap in the face to me. We both hurt one another that day, differently, but same result. My confession felt like a slap in the face to you, and your response felt like one to me. I couldn’t ask after that. Pour moi, ça voulait clairement dire que tu m’aimes pas. Je voulais pas insister parce que je voulais pas te faire peur et te perdre pour toujours. Quand tu m’as parlé de status au téléphone, j’étais trop saoulé, je pouvais pas en parler. La dernière fois, je suis restée silencieux parce que j’étais trop énervé avec ton histoire de Ruben. Tu me connais quand je suis gonflé, je parle pas. The silence never meant that I didn’t want you. I was just pissed at the situation and myself.” - For me, it clearly meant that you don’t love me. I didn’t want to insist in fear of losing, scaring you away, and losing you for good. When you brought the subject up on the phone, I was annoyed, I couldn’t talk. Last time, I stayed quiet because I was way too pissed. You know I don’t communicate when I’m too upset. Jules confessed while playing with one of the rings on his fingers.

”What about the discussion on the beach, I brought commitment there too.”

”Justement pour moi, tu te foutais de moi sur la plage. Perso, j’ai compris que tu voulais voir d’autres personnes. J’étais saoulé. Je me disais, tu m’aimes pas okay, mais pourquoi tu me parles de porte ouverte? Bref, j’avais pas compris où tu voulais en venir.” - Actually i thought you were kidding me on the beach. Personally, I understood that you wanted to see other people. I was pissed. I thought not loving me is okay, but why are you talking about open doors. I couldn’t understand what you truly meant.

”Pourquoi ne pas me demander si c’était pas clair?” - Why not ask if it wasn’t clear enough?

”Chérie, I told you when I’m pissed, I’m not trying to communicate.” - Darling. You looked at him in seriousness before laughing out loud. Jules followed a few seconds later. He still feels like home even three weeks without any contact.

”We need to talk seriously, not laugh. Let’s refocus.” You expressed and collected your calm.

”I agree. I have a question.”

”Go ahead.”

”How did you feel with Ruben? Did you enjoy his touch, his whispers, or whatever? I also need to know everything that happened between you for closure. I’m sorry, but I can’t stop thinking about it.” He asked with his eyes on his rings. This time, he could not look at you. The fear of what he might hear was obvious. You chewed on your bottom lip to hide the guilt.

”I felt nothing for him. He’s a beautiful man, we danced, flirted, and talked, that’s it. He wanted my phone number, but I said no because of you. Nothing more happened, Jules. His touch wasn’t bad, but nothing in comparison to yours. I think I came back to my senses when I closed my eyes. All I could see was you, Jules. I’m not saying it to reassure you or anything. That’s the truth. You know me, I only say what I mean.” Jules nodded with a pout.

”Jules, if we’re going to move on, you have to leave the Ruben episode behind. Forgive me for good, if not, it’s never going to work. You can’t bring it back every time. I respect your feelings and understand them, but you also need to consider mine.”

”I agree with you, but you also need to forget the Kimberley episode. You didn’t bring it up today, but last time you threw that in my face again. We both need to forgive one another if we really want to make it work.” You nodded in agreement.

After that deep conversation, you felt lighter and better. The anger dissipated as you exchanged with Jules. Amara was right, the two of you just miscommunicated, which led to a fight that almost tore you apart for good.

”Anything else to say or add?” Jules questioned again to make sure that you let it all out.

”We’ll have to work on the communication. We can’t let such a thing happen again. The communication needs to be clearer on both sides.”

”Okay, one more thing, I don’t want to share my time with your friends or cousin.” You furrowed your brows.

”What do you mean?”

”I have nothing with you going out with your friends or cousin, mais quand tu as déjà reservé ce temps pour moi, je veux pas que ça change. On passe déjà pas beaucoup de temps ensemble avec mon emploi du temps, donc je veux pas partager.” - but when you’ve already allocated time for me, i I don’t want it to change. We already spend little time together because of my schedule.

You chewed your bottom lip, ”I’m not splitting your time somewhere else, it’s just that I can’t always control everything. Amara is unpredictable, so can be Taliah. I’m not doing that on purpose.”

”I know, chérie. That’s not the point. Of course, you can have plans with your friends and cousin, but not at my expense. Sometimes, we have plan something and you decide to change it because Taliah or Amara called you at the last minute. It shouldn’t be that way. It makes me feel like I come last.”

A silence settled in as you prepared your honest reply. ”You didn’t come last, but not first, that’s for sure. I mean, we had no committed relationship, so I didn’t want to make you my priority. If you become my man, I can definitely make an effort.”

”Comment ça si je deviens? Je suis ton mec.” - What do you mean if I become? I’m your man.

”We’re not there yet, Jules.”

”Soon. Another thing, I’ll ask is to leave your past behind. I’m not here for your body. Bon, j’avoue que tu es très bien foutu mais c’est pas le sujet.” - All right, I must admit that you have a great body, but that’s not the subject.

”Jules!” You screamed and playfully smacked his shoulder.

”Sérieusement, j’aime ton physique mais c’est pas ça qui m’a rendu fou de toi. J’aime ton petit caractère, ta voix, ton rire, toucher, odeur, style, ta créativité, ton intelligence, ta culture, ton côté fou, audace bref même ce que j’aime pas, j’aime. I’m ready to work on communication or anything else just to be with you, to be your man.” - Seriously, I love your physique, but it’s not what drove me crazy about you. I love your little attitude, voice, laugh, touch, smell, style, créativité, intelligence, knowledge, craziness, audacity anyway even what I hate I love it .

You giggled like a schoolgirl as Jules squatted down in front of you, placing his hands on your knees. "Je t’aime, ma beauté. A part toi, je ne veux personne d'autre. Tu me rends fou, tu ne sais même pas à quel point. J’ai tellement eu peur de te perdre. J’étais trop mal. Je pensais à toi tout le temps, tu me manquais trop. Je veux plus que ça arrive. Je veux pas te partager. Je veux avancer avec toi et personne d'autre. You and only you. You or nobody.” - I love you, beauty. Beside you, I don’t want anyone else. You drive me crazy, you don’t even know how. I was so scared of losing you. I felt terrible. I used to think about you all the time, I missed you a lot. I don’t ever want it to happen. I don’t want to to share you, I want to move forward with you and no one else.

You playfully looked to the ceiling with a smirk. This time, you believed him, his word meant something. Your eyes glistened as you waited for the final question. The question that would officially put an end to the conflict that almost tore you apart.

”Jules. I’m still waiting.”

”Waiting for what?” He nervously asked.

”For you to ask the question, you're still single as we speak.” He shook his head with a smile.

”Okay, chérie on est ensemble ou bien?” - Are we together or what? Both of you laughed out loud at his lack of seriousness. You missed hearing that laugh.

”Ask properly, fais un effort s’il te plait.” - make an effort, please.

”Je rigole. Y/N, I sincerely love you. I don’t want to be with anybody else.” - I’m joking. He took your hand, helping you rise from the sofa.

”I’m still waiting.”

”Be patient.” He whispered as you walked towards the bedroom. When he opened the door, you noticed pink and white balloons floating in the air. On each one of them, one question: Will you be my girlfriend, chérie? The rest of the room was filled with rose petals on the floor, shopping bags and more petals on the bed. Your eyes glistened due to the overwhelming feeling. It was better than whatever you imagined inside your head.

”Have you prepared everything by yourself?” He nodded, glancing at the room.

”It took some time, but you’re worth it. This is exactly what I planned last month, when I wanted to ask you in Paris. Anyway, what happened, happened. We’re going to learn from it. I'm just glad we’re making things right today.” You vigorously nodded your head while wrapping your arms around his neck.

”It’s perfect, Jules!” You replied with the brightest smile. Although you never expected your weekend to turn out like that, you were still happy that Amara pushed. Without her, you probably would not be there.

”T’as pas répondu, madame.” You giggled and pecked his lips.

”Oui! Je veux être ta copine, Jules.” - Yes, I want to be your girlfriend, Jules.

”Enfin! Maintenant embrasse moi.” - Finally! Now kiss me. You placed a hand on his torso to stop him. The same smirk was still on your face. Jules bit his bottom lip in frustration.

”What? Why can’t you kiss me.”

”I need to open the gifts first. Depending on them, I’ll decide if you deserve a kiss or not.” You joked as your hands gently rubbed his chest. Jules chuckled with a head shake.

”N’importe quoi, toi. Viens ici.” He whispered right before locking his arms around your waist and crushing his lips against yours. The kiss was passionate, lustful, and needy. The softness of his lips still feels familiar. Your entire body and heart warmed up at his touch and kiss. You missed it. You missed him. A few hours ago, you thought that you would never relive that again. There you were making out with your boyfriend in a fancy suite in Paris.

You playfully sucked on his tongue and split from him. ”Jules! Let me open my gifts before it goes south.”

”Good idea!” He agreed and handled the three bags on the bed. You happily took them in your hand, sitting down on the bed to open each one. The first bag contained a beautiful denim trench coat.

”I ordered it the second I saw it. I know you’re going to look amazing in this. I trust your styling abilities.” You paid attention to every single detail of the coat before thanking Jules with a hug.

”I love it! Thank you so much. I already know how I’m going to style it.” Jules knew exactly what to buy for you. In terms of fashion, no one knew you better than him. With a huge grin on your face, you went on to open the second gift. This one contained a leather bag you had wanted for a long time.

”Oh Jules! I wanted this bag for a very long time. I was looking for that colour everywhere. Thank you, babe.” He had the biggest grin on his face. The smile on your face had no price for him.

”Come on, there’s still one more gift to open.” He handed you the last bag that you had excitedly opened. A huge grin appeared on your face as you analysed the beautiful pair of earrings that Jules gifted you. The pair perfectly matched the necklace and bracelet he gifted you in the past.

”I have the whole set now.” You proudly said, removing your current earrings to replace them with your brand new pair.

”The ring is missing.”

”Don’t buy! I don’t like the ring in this collection.” He chuckled.

”I remembered. That’s why I went for earrings.”

”It’s perfect!” You exclaimed while looking at your reflection in the mirror. ”Thank you so much, Jules! I cherish each gift.” You murmured, sitting on his lap.

”Welcome, you deserve it, chérie.” Your arms wrapped around his neck as his locked around your waist.

”Okay, now I need to know how you organised all of this with Amara. That traitor!”

”That’s between her and me. I have something else in mind.” Jules whispered, staring at your neck. His eyes widened at the sight of the necklace he bought you.

”Tu me détestais pas tant que ça, tu portes encore le collier.” - You didn’t hate me like that, you’re still wearing the necklace.

”Ne commence pas, Jules.” - Don’t start, Jules.

”Bref, viens là toi.” - Anyway, come here. He seductively whispered, kissing your face. Jules continued, focusing on the sensitive spot on your neck. The gesture lights up your entire body with burning desire. As Jules began kissing your breast, you stopped him.

”Amara peut revenir n’importe quand Jules.” - Amara can come back at anytime.

”La porte sera fermée, elle comprendra c’est une grande fille.” - If we close the door, she’ll understand. She’s a grown woman.

”I don’t want her to hear us.” He groaned in frustration and kissed your neck again.

”On va faire vite alors.” - We’re going to be quick, then.

”Jules!”

”Je suis sérieux. Je rigole pas. I want you so much, I can’t wait.” - I’m serious, I’m not playing.

You locked your lips again, abandoning yourself to the territory of lust and desire. Hopefully, Amara took her time to came back to the hotel.

****

You sipped on a glass of champagne in a robe and ate the remaining pastries Jules had specially bought for you. Gradually, a smile appeared on your face as you thought about the evening you had just spent. Jules was back in your life as a boyfriend. Although you were still waiting for Amara to give her an earful, you were still happy that her plan turned out for the best.

After the gifts opening, Jules and you spent hours making love, making of for all the days and nights spent apart. Jules ordered a service room for dinner, allowing you to spend more time together and discuss some music in the background as you usually do.

At midnight, Amara makes an appearance in the room like Cinderella would. She took her sunglasses off, showing her famous playful grin and eyes. Jules and you discussed in the living room, enjoying the view of the suite.

”Bonsoir, lovers. I’m glad to see that everything went well.” You gave her a death glare which made Jules giggle.

”Amara! The best! Did you spend a good evening?”

”Perfect. The dinner was just splendid, one of the best I had. Selling my cousin out was worth it.” She joked in the hopes of escaping your tirade.

”You’re lucky, things ended up.”

”I can tell, you look like you just had the best sex of your life. I can see it on your face.” Jules waited for your reaction, he knew how much you could hate Amara's comments.

”That’s not the topic. You literarily plotted against me to get Aurélien's phone number.”

”I’m sorry, but it’s not about Aurélien. Actually I accepted because I hated seeing you sad about a problem that could have been not only avoided but resolved. Aurélien is the cherry on the cake. Anyway, thank me later.” She said without giving you any time to reply.

Amara turned to Jules with half a grin. ”I hope that my betrayal was worth it.” He nodded with excitement.

”We’re together, so it was worth it.” Amara joined her hands and looked at the sky.

”Thank God! Finally! You were so fucking annoying. Anyway no offence, but I’d like to sleep. If you want to fuck on the sofa, be quiet. Thanks! Also, have you at least changed the sheets? I don’t want to sleep in your body fluids. I appreciate you, but not like that.” Jules laughed—a genuine and light laugh that expressed his happiness.

”I was just about to leave. I’ve done my part, now you can enjoy your weekend.” Jules added as he got up.

”Wait, I thought you would stay the entire weekend.” You pouted.

”I have a photoshoot with Adidas tomorrow afternoon. I can’t stay, even though I truly want to. Don’t worry, I’ll see you before the EURO, okay?” You nodded with a disappointed face.

”Chérie, arrête. On se revoit dans une à deux semaines.” - Stop, darling. I’ll see you in one or two weeks.

”C’est long, Jules.” - It’s a long time, Jules.

”How cute! Have you changed the sheets, yes or no?” Amara interrupted.

”No, you’re going to sleep in our fluids.” You replied with sass.

”Fuck you, Y/N.” She shouted, leaving the room.

Jules caressed your face, the gentleness and affection in his touch almost made you melt. You wanted it to last forever. ”It won’t be long, I promise.”

****

Two weeks later…

Jules and Aurélien had two days off before the beginning of the tournament, a small getaway in Paris so the guys could see their families and friends but also spend time with you. They decided to book a two-bedroom suite in Paris to maximise the time spent together. Today is your last day in the city. Tomorrow night, the boys will have to leave for international duties: representing France national team in the EURO, an event you will get the chance to fully live. Jules and Aurélien insisted that you come and support them.

The last night spent in that suite could have been top-tier if Aurélien and Amara were not that loud. Jules and you giggled at the various sounds they were making.

”They need to relax, my man is going to be injured like that.” You chuckled.

”Don’t judge him. You’re no better. Just because no one heard doesn’t mean that you’re better. Ils sont trop gênants.” - They’re so embarrassing

”Laisse les profiter, t’es jalouse ou quoi? Tu criais plus fort dans la salle de bain toute à l’heure.” - Let them enjoy. Are you jealous or what? You were screaming louder in the bathroom earlier.

”Jalouse de quoi?” - Jealous of what? You frowned with an eye roll.

”Toi aussi, tu veux crier? Tu as juste à dire oui.” - Do you want to scream too? You just have to say yes.

”Jules, arrête. Je veux dormir. We’ve already had sex five times today, let my poor pussy rest.” - Jules, stop. I want to sleep. He mocked you with grimaces.

”Poor pussy? I don’t think so. She was begging earlier.”

”Jules!” You warned him with a teasing stare.

”Just saying. Anyway, I’m going to miss you.” He said, wrapping his arms around your waist. His lips found their way onto your naked shoulder. Goosebumps appeared on your skin at the feel of his soft lips on your body.

”I’ll miss you too, but I won’t be that far.”

”It won’t be the same, chérie.” - darling

”Stop worrying, Jules. We’re going to be alright, okay?” You whispered, placing your hand on his chest. He kissed your forehead in response.

”I don’t want to sleep. I want to talk to you.”

”Jules, you have a competition coming very soon. You need to rest.” Jules was about to reply, but a piercing moan and a loud groan stopped him. You stared at him with wide eyes before you burst out of laughter.

”Putain, j’en peux plus. C’est quoi ça?” - Fuck, I can’t. What was that?

”I hope they stop here. I’ve had enough.” He laughed again, and the wrinkles around his eyes appeared. You would never get tired of that view.

”Okay, we can talk, but just for an hour.”

”Parfait! Tu as lu le livre que je t’ai offert? Le livre sur le Bénin.” - Perfect! Have you read the book I gifted you? The book about Bénin.

You shook your head in response. ”I started it. I’m very excited to finish it and even more visit.”

”It’s going to be amazing, you’ll see. It can only be amazing with me as a guide.” You rolled your eyes and giggled.

”I never said that. Talking about Bénin, have you planned some outfits? You wanted us to have matching ones.”

”Je m’occupe de tout t’inquiète.” - I handle everything, don’t worry.

”Actually, I started to look for some ideas.” You responded and pulled your phone out to show him the pieces that caught your attention. Jules rubbed your stomach as he watched the pieces attentively. He loved every single one you picked out. At the moment, he was more than happy to have you back in his life.

”T’es ma future femme, tu sais ça ou pas?” - You’re my future wife. Do you know it? He whispered in your ear.

”One step at a time, Jules.”

”I can already imagine it. Victoria and David, who?” He joked, making the two of you burst out.

”Jules and Y/N have entered the building. Please imagine it. We’re going to be the most stylistic couple that have ever exited.” Jules explained with a huge grin.

His excitement made you laugh, it was cute to witness. ”That’d be very cool but the only thing I can imagine right now is me sleeping.”

”Tu gâches tout là. T’aimes trop dormir.” - You’re ruining everything. You enjoy sleeping way too much.

”You’re sleeping more than I do. What are you talking about?” Jules giggled again. You loved how the two of you were laughing like best friends, an opinion your cousin Amara did not share as she banged on the wall.

”Shut up, you two!” She shouted from the other side of the wall.

”The audacity!” You replied in shock as Jules died of laughter. The astonished look on your face was enough to make him laugh louder.

”Arrête de faire cette tête, putain.” - Stop making that face, fuck!

”They were the ones making noises. I’m baffled.”

”Amara a raison. On veut dormir nous. Silence.” - Amara is right. We want to sleep. Aurélien added with a deep, sleepy voice.

”Parle bien à ma chérie toi.” - Speak better to my darling. Jules joked with a fake, threatening tone.

”Laisse ma copine aussi alors.” - Then, leave my girlfriend alone too.

”Your girlfriend? Since when?” You asked in shock.

”Tonight. She ain’t going nowhere no more.”

”Oh babe.” Amara whispered in a romantic voice.

”As you guys said, silence!” You cut their romantic moment off, making Jules giggle again. Amara and Aurélien cursed out but not loud enough for you to hear, leaving Jules and you laughing for additional minutes.

”Damn, you two lovebirds are annoying! Stop laughing!”

”You can't say nothing to me when you were fucking like animals.”

”T’es vraiment la meilleure. La plus drôle en tout cas.” - You're truly the best. The funniest, at least. He raised his hand for your special handshake.

”Don’t worry, we’re in this together, my Jules.”

”She ain’t funnier than me, Jules. Don’t lie because you’re in love.” Amara jumped back into the conversation.

”I thought you wanted to sleep, but you're still out there, running your mouth.” Aurélien and Jules were both laughing at your interaction. They would probably never get tired of it. The future seems even brighter. They looked forward to it, especially Jules. He was in for a long time, he knew it. You were the woman of his dreams, and he would do anything to keep you by his side.

END.

#jules kounde x reader

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missswritings · 2 months

Text

ONE SHOT : Girlfriend, boyfriend, they say - [Part 2]

PAIRING : Jules Koundé x Black reader

Warnings (+18) : Situationship, fluff, angst, heartbreak and SMUT - Words : 13k. - Read part 1 here.

Note : Hey, girlies! I'm back three weeks later 😫 The ideal would have been to drop 2 weeks later, but sometimes life takes over. Not only that, I also wanted to post something I'd be proud of. It took me many hours to write it, so I hope that you're going to enjoy! As per usual don't forget to share your thoughts with me. I'll try to post the next part sooner. (Yeah, it was supposed to be a two part thing, but you know your girl loves a long story 😂)

English is not my first language. Writing takes a lot of time, if you enjoyed, please reblog, comment and interact.

The next morning, you shyly emerged from a short night of sleep. Last night, memories flew back into your mind, reminding you how frustrating and confusing the situation was. Once again, Jules failed to put an end to your torment. The more you spent time with him, the less his sweet words held weight. Confessing feelings mean nothing if he cannot commit.

The man spends his days praising you, explaining how amazing you were. He loved your self-confidence, intelligence, fashion sense, empathy, open-mindedness, calmness, ability to listen and advise, curiosity, sense of humour, musical taste, the way you think, the way you made love, the way you danced, the way you partied, the way you never took yourself too seriously, and the list goes on. Everything sounded perfect on paper. Yet he still refuses to sign for perfection.

Jules was in the living room, preparing to go to training. His eyes left his phone screen when you appeared.

"Coucou, chérie. Bien dormi?” - Hello, darling. Slept well?

"Bonjour, Jules. The night was long. What about you?” - Hello, Jules.

"I slept well, thanks." A silence settled in between you two. The atmosphere shifted after your small conversation last night. The intimate laughs and physical touch seemed far away. This time, you needed more than words. A simple love declaration would not be enough to contain your loud thoughts.

"Jules, can we talk?" He moved to the side, inviting you to sit by his side on the leather sofa.

"I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday."

"I'm listening.”

”Are you sure that you really want me?” He raised his brows in shock. Jules never thought that you could have such ideas, not when he dedicated most of his time to making you feel special and loved.

”Why would you ask that?”

”I need an answer, Jules.” He let out a loud sigh with his eyes glued to yours. With the serious look plastered on your face, he knew that he could not avoid that conversation, and you wanted an answer.

”Of course I want you. I don’t even understand why it’s a topic. I’ve always treated you like a princess. There's no one else. I mean, I never gave you any reason to doubt. I’m very surprised to hear that.” You played with the yellow gold bracelet on your wrist. Another precious gift from Jules. Another Pinterest picture turned into reality.

”I don’t know, Jules.” Again, he missed the issue or purposefully avoided it. At this point, you could not tell. The peace and certainty you had about his feelings are now morphing into confusion and uncertainty. You had a hard time trusting the sincerity and resonance of his words.

”Love, are you going to let what happened last night get into your head? As I said yesterday, I'm only talking to you.”

"I feel like you're lying. I mean, we spend a lot of time together, but we're not committed to one another. There's clearly an open door for other women. Also, I’m not here 24/7, I cannot be sure that you’re not seeing someone else.” Jules passed his fingers over his moustache with a frown.

"Why can't you believe me? I suspect Amara for putting ideas in your head.” You hated how his first thoughts went to Amara when you dropped a big hint about the issue, one that has been capturing your mind for weeks. If he truly cared, he would have pushed for commitment. Apparently, leaving the door open to other women does not seem to bother him.

"Amara has nothing to do with this."

"Everything was perfect until you went out with her." You rolled your eyes out of irritation and placed your elbow on the pillow by your side.

"Jules, it's not perfect. Can’t you see it?” The look on his face showed how lost and perplexed he was. In his eyes, everything was perfectly fine between you, as perfect as it could be.

”Well, I’m seeing it now. I thought we were good, but apparently you don’t trust me.” You groaned, trying to calm your growing frustration.

”It’s not about trust, Jules.” He left the sofa to kneel before you. His hands finding their place on your knees.

”What it is, then? I don’t get it.” The message was either too unclear or he really had no desire to make you his girlfriend. He literally ignored the mention of commitment. You shook your head in response. Jules used his thumbs to rub the back of your hand.

”Please, don’t let one night shift your perception. I love you. I truly do.” He whispered the words you did not need to hear. Why say it now? Why? Pronouncing Those words left a sour taste in your mouth. He never addressed the commitment issue, why confess now? You fought back the tears that wanted to roll down your face. He loved you, but could not commit. At the moment, the words he pronounced sounded empty. The actions did not correlate with the love confession. In fact, it reflected a lack of sincerity on his behalf.

You looked away from his tender and vulnerable stare. Today, his beautiful brown eyes would not be enough to cajole you. Jules looked down. His eyes on the white carpet. He looked ashamed to have pronounced those words. The brutal silence affected him you could tell. If only he had chosen different words. From the corner of your eyes, you could feel the embarrassment, fear, and concern of scaring you with his love confession.

The atmosphere was getting heavier each second, the words stayed in your throat. Your eyes met at the same time, desperately looking for answers.

You finally gulped and responded, "I appreciate you too, Jules. That's not the topic here.” Confessing your love would only reinforce the situationship you already hated. He takes your presence for granted. Why would you confess your love to him?

Even if you wanted to, the words would not have come out. They were stuck in the depth of your throat. These three words meant a lot to you. So much so that you never voiced it to anyone except your parents and Taliah. The dynamic changed at this precise moment, you could feel Jules’ heart shattering in pieces as he heard your response. His hands slowly slid off your knees. Perhaps silence would have been better.

”I should go. I don't want to be late. See you later.” He whispered with a light heart and collected his bag to vanish, leaving you alone with your loud doubts and frustrations.

The second, he closed the door, you placed your head between your hands. What just happened? You could not confirm anything but something broke between you. Without realizing you both opened wounds that would leave permanent scars.

****

Usually, you hate silence around the people you enjoy spending time with. Silence was even rarer between Jules and you. The two of you always had something to talk about. Tonight, the atmosphere was heavy, almost as heavy as the frustrations you carried. Since Jules came back from training, you both sat there in complete silence. At some point, you even left him in the living room to lay in bed.

Although a part of you wanted to converse with Jules, the other wondered, What could he be mad about? He should not be mad. In fact, he had nothing to be mad about. The man said it himself everything was perfect in his eyes. You decided to test the waters.

”How was training? You barely spoke since you came back.”

”It was alright, routine.” He replied without ever looking at you.

”Okay.” Another silence.

”Jules.” You called his name in a whisper. He looked at his plate before finally focusing on you.

”Oui, j’écoute.” - Yes, I’m listening.

”Je veux aller faire un tour sur la plage après le diner. I need a breath of fresh air.” - I want to take a walk on the beach after dinner. Fighting with Jules was rare. Until feelings got involved, you had nothing to fight about. A walk on the beach could help ease the tension.

”Pas de soucis.” - No problem. He replied with a stern face. Even after a fight, your desires were still his priority. You appreciated that.

”Thank you, Jules.”

****

The two of you walked side by side on the beach, enjoying the fresh air. You wore one of his long-sleeve teeshirt with kaki cargo pants. In this particular case, comfort was a must. The sound of the waves brought a kind of comfort to the ruling silence. Jules looked lost in his thoughts as you were.

”Jules. Are we going to behave like adults and address the elephant in the room? Or just stay in silence until I leave tomorrow?” He rubbed his chin and stopped in his tracks. You followed him and faced the dark large horizon before you—a large stretch of water. Jules broke the silence.

”If everything wasn't perfect in your eyes, why have you never told me?” You shrugged.

”I thought that you’d realise at some point.”

”How? How do you want me to know if you don’t speak? I can’t read your mind. On my part, I thought we were fine, but apparently it was an illusion.” The tone he used slightly broke your heart. He was hurt.

”Illusion isn’t the word, Jules. I never lied to you or hid anything. I’ve always been real.”

”I know, that’s not the issue. You don’t trust me. That’s the real deal. I never gave you a reason to doubt me or my words, yet here we are. Whatever I say, I feel like you won’t believe me.” Your heart jumped, the man still doesn’t get it.

”Jules it’s not about trust. Put yourself in my shoes, please. We have this strong bond and I’m finding out that women you’ve been intimate with in the past are sending you messages. You were mad at me for less than that. Or should I say mad at Amara for even bringing Nathan. You can’t expect me to be cool with that situation when you couldn't handle a man looking at me.” He looked at the sand at his feet and let out a loud sigh.

"Oh, he did more than simply look. Anyway, I’m not asking you to be indifferent. I’d be jealous too if the roles were reversed but I’ve been honest and still feel like it’s not enough.”

”It might be true today, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be true in the coming months. You can meet another woman one day. The door is still open. There’s no commitment, Jules. This is what I mean.”

”No commitment? What do you mean? I’ve been commited to you for more than 6 months. You’re the only woman I'm talking to, spending time with, and laying with. I’m giving my all to you. How it isn't commitment?”

”Is that your definition of commitment, Jules?” You asked while disappointment escalated. You realised that he had no intention of asking you to be his girl.

”Giving my heart and soul isn’t enough for you?” His eyes widened.

”I'm doing the same, Jules. I can confirm it’s not commitment.” Jules wanted to end the conversation, he either misunderstood or got the wrong message.

”Jules, as long as the door is open for other people there’s no commitment.” You explained as your eyes focused on his clenched jaw.

”If you’re really giving your heart and soul to me, the door shouldn’t be open to other people.”

”Really, Jules? Then you need to explain to me why are still replying to Kimberley. In my eyes the door is still wide open.” You bitterly expressed.

Jules either played stupid or simply had no intention of asking you to be his girl. Whatever the reasons, you had enough.

”Whether you believe me or not, I have nothing to hide or be ashamed about. Kimberley or other girls, it doesn’t matter, I’ve always gave you my everything from the first date. If it’s still not enough, there’s nothing I can do to make you change your mind.” Your mouth slightly opened before closing again. The words were vain. The misunderstanding reached another level.

”Now, if you want to leave the doors open for other people because I’m not enough, that’s up to you.”

”This isn’t what I said, Jules.” You expressed with annoyance.

”It sounds like it. Anyway, let’s go home.” He concluded. Both of you walked away. This time, you were not confused, just sad. He refused to understand or listen. In the worst case, he completely understood the message, but still brushed it off.

Whatever reason, you were misunderstood and hurt yet you were willing to not pursue the conversation. You would stick to your ground, you refused to force someone into a relationship. The walk on the beach was supposed to ease the tension, but here you were, ready for another long sleepless night.

Another first in a span of ten hours Jules slept with his back turned. He avoided touching you or even looking in your direction. If you turned around, you would only see his muscular back. Never you would have thought that this conversation would have completely disturbed your dynamic. It may have caused damage but things were clear on your part. Jules had no intention of committing. He preferred throwing a love confession hoping that you would be content with it. You were not.

In your head, you already tried to make up excuses in anticipation of your conversation with Taliah. A few days ago, you remembered how confident you were about him coming forward. Today, Taliah’s perspective seemed more believable than the small narrative you created in your head. He confirmed that Taliah and Amara were right. He liked you, but not enough to step up and commit. From now on, you will continue spending time with him, while keeping your door open for someone else.

****

The second you passed the restaurant door, Taliah knew that something was in the air. Your post-Barcelona glow and smile did not illuminate the room as they usually did. Taliah could tell when you had spent quality time with Jules. It was written on your face. This time, you looked less radiant and excited.

She greeted you with a tight hug, giving you time to arrive and watch the menu. Taliah expected a detailed explanation of your small getaway, but ever since you arrived she felt like you avoided the subject. The brunch went on, and still have no mention of Jules or Barcelona. She could not stand the slight sadness in your tone so she asked.

”How was Barcelona?”

”Good.” You lied, playing with your fork.

”Babygirl, you can fool anyone expect me. I know something happened there. You look different than usual. I can’t explain, but I can feel it.” You let out a loud sigh and stared at your empty plate of pancakes.

”Well nothing and a lot happened there, Taliah.”

”What? Explain to me.” Taliah said with curiosity in the eyes. You took a deep breath and shared every single detail of your small trip to Barcelona. After you finished she longly stared at you, trying to find the right words. She knew how the situation affected you.

”Even after you talked about commitment, he still refused to commit.”

”Taliah, you heard him. Giving your heart and soul to a person is enough for him. He doesn’t feel the need to close the door for other people.”

”From what you explained to me there's a chance the message didn’t land well.” Your eyes widened.

”Taliah, come on. I couldn’t have been clearer. What was I supposed to do? Ask him to be my man?”

”Well, you could have some women are proposing out there.” You looked at her and both laughed out loud. She always found a way to make you laugh, even in the worst situations.

”Stop playing, Taliah. I’ll never do that.”

”It was a joke, I’ll never let you do that too. It’s so weird! He willingly acts like a boyfriend but doesn’t want to commit.”

”See? This is why I don’t believe him when he’s saying that he’s not talking to other women. If that’s the case why would you refuse to commit? Give your heart and soul is cute, but that’s not commitment. I feel like he got mad when he heard that.” Taliah took a sip of mimosa and refocused on you.

”Now that you’re almost sure that he has no attention to make you his girlfriend what are you going to do?” You shrugged. Once again, it was a great question. You had no idea of what to do next.

”I like him Taliah. I’d be lying if I say the contrary. For now, I don’t want to cut ties.” Taliah nodded with compassion.

”I know, but the more you wait the harder it’s going to be. Unless a part of you still hopes that he changes his mind and do the right thing.” You sighed in defeat. She had a point, deep inside laid an ounce of hope.

”I hate how you can read me. Yeah, I guess that I still have hope. The only difference is that I’m going to open the door for other people.” Taliah tilted her head.

”Hum. Don’t you think that it’s going to ruin your relationship forever? If he’s been as loyal as he pretends to be, he won’t accept you engaging with other men.”

”Well if he wanted that privilege, he should have made me his girl. For now, I’m a single woman, I don’t owe him shit.”

”I agree, but deep inside you also know that your heart belongs to him. Isn’t that why you stopped talking to other guys?” You closed your eyes at Taliah’s question. Once again, she had a point.

”I'll make an additional effort. As long as the man I love isn’t willing to commit, I shouldn’t feel guilty or anything about talking to other people.”

”You do whatever feels right for you. I’m just making sure you’re not acting out of pride or ego because nothing good ever comes out of it.”

”That’s not pride or ego. It’s logic.”

”It’s not. If you were thinking with logic you would have cut him off. Why give him access to you if you know that nothing is going to change? Actually, it might even get worse. You’ll only be more and more frustrated. In my opinion, you should gradually take distance and then cut him off for good.”

Cutting Jules off for good was not on your priority list. You did not even consider that option. It would be hard to form a connection as beautiful and strong as the one you built with Jules. Jules was special and unique, he was the man you wanted, the only one you imagined yourself in a relationship with. Unfortunately, it was not the case for him.

”You said it yourself, Y/N. You shouldn’t beg for a title, but if you keep him in your life after what happened, it’s giving desperate.”

”You’re right, but I need to emotionally check out first. I can’t just kick him out of my life when I’ve spent the last six months talking to him every day and spending time with him every two weeks.”

”As I said before, whatever you do, I’ll support you. I just don’t want to see you hurt.”

”Don’t worry about that. I’m still that girl!” You said with a laugh, raising your orange juice glass in the air.

****

Paris, France

Apparently, you underestimated the connection between Jules and you. Two weeks ago, you were talking about cutting him off, yet here you were supporting him in the stands for the quarter final of the Champion League, proudly wearing a Barcelona shirt with his last name on the back.

You freshly arrived from London this morning. As per usual, Jules made sure to give you the full princess treatment. You could even say that his efforts doubled since that conversation on the beach. Every action, word, or gesture only fueled your endorphin release. He booked a luxurious suite for you in a palace, had your favourite flowers and pastries delivered to the hotel. All the attention and love you were receiving put a huge smile on your face, almost making you forget about the actual reality : your situationship.

Later on, a staff member came to your room to inform you about a spa appointment. Jules wanted you to relax before the match, he knew how stressed you were every time he played. As you watched the ball coming and going on both sides of the pitch, you felt thankful for the relaxing moment earlier. No matter what happened tonight you were proud of Jules. The way he defended, played calmly and blocked one of the best players in the world, how could you not be proud?

Thankfully, the match ended with a 3-2 win for Barcelona. Anything was still possible for the next round but you had high hopes for Barcelona. At the moment the only thing on your mind was Jules. You wanted him, you wanted to be reunited with him, you missed him. Two weeks without physical touch felt like a punishment. The smile on his face could light up an entire room. You waved and grinned in return.

****

The knocks on the door made you close your silk kimono. The winner of the day has just arrived. You almost rushed to the door, excited to spend time with him. Before you could fully open the door, Jules entered and closed it behind him. He had a huge grin on his face.

”Bonsoir, ma chérie. Tu m’as manqué.” - Good evening, darling. I missed you. He barely finished his sentence when you jumped on him with arms wide open, wrapping your legs around him. He kissed your neck, taking his time to hum your skin and enjoy the contact of your skin on his lips.

"You were brilliant tonight, Jules. I’m so proud, and yeah, I missed you too.”

”I thought you wouldn’t come, love. After the discussion we had, I-” You stopped him by putting your finger on his lips.

”I’m still your biggest fan, Jules. Sure, you piss me off sometimes, but it won't change anything.” You whispered and pecked his lips. Jules put you back on the floor admiring the red silk kimono on your body. He certainly imagined what was underneath the kimono, something you planned to show him very soon. You loved how his eyes glistened every time he laid eyes on you. The type of power and impact you enjoyed having, even more on the man you loved.

”You played so well. I felt such pride wearing your jersey.” You murmured while comfortably lying down in bed.

”Seeing you wear my jersey is always special. Thank you for the love and support, chérie. It means much more than you could imagine.” Jules dropped his bag on the floor before sitting on the edge of the bed.

You stared at him and licked your lips. The images of him on the pitch came back to mind. The way he defended and oozed confidence was all it took for you to succumb to your desire. His beautiful brown eyes sparked as he ranted about the game. Before he could finish, you climbed onto his lap.

”I think you deserve a reward. You played so well.” Your seductive tone always had a strong effect on Jules. The way his eyes shone with lust, how his mouth slightly opened, how he licked his lips, the half smirk on his face, the way his hands roamed all over your body and ended up on your butt. You enjoyed every second of it. Actually, you loved how your charm worked on him.

”Sounds very interesting.” He replied, perfectly aware of what it implied.

”Lay down for me, babe. So I can show you how proud I am of your performance.” You whispered in his ear and bit the tip.

Jules ignored what you exactly had in mind, but trusted you enough to lay down. The idea of being intimate with you and seeing you naked was enough to wake up his senses. You boldly unzipped his pants. The eye-contact only intensified the moment. Jules licked his lips in anticipation, he now had an idea of the reward. He was absolutely here for it. His eyes were already focused on your very visible, hard nipple. The thin silk could not cover it up, you wanted him. He licked his lips in anticipation. If it only depended on him, they already would have been in his mouth.

A loud gasp escaped from his lips when your warm hand came into contact with his hard member. Your thumb played his leaking tip. You stared at him with a smirk on your face. The sight of him succumbing to your charm was enticing.

”Chérie.” He whispered.

”Yes, Jules?” You teased innocently. Your hands moved up and down. Another gasp from him, this one was longer. The desperation in his eyes made you smile. You enjoyed having that kind of power over him. The movement of your hand made him squirm—another lovely sight. You had one mission in mind, give him a mind-blowing reward for his game. That bonus did not include immediate gratification, he would have to wait. You wanted to take your time, capture every reaction from him.

”Does it feel good, babe?”

”Tu rigoles, j’espère.” - I hope you’re joking. You laughed which made him gulp.

”Je sais ce que tu fais. Attends que je te prennes.” - I know what you’re doing. Wait til I get you.

”You’re way too chatty, in my opinion. Maybe I should do more.” Before he could pronounce another word, you spat on his shaft. A few seconds later, your tongue played with his tip. You circled it, letting your hand rub the base.

”Putain.” He moaned, his eyes were fully focused on you. It was not enough, you needed him to be desperate, to close his eyes, and to moan until he reached his peak. You slowly bobbed your head down on him, trying to take as much as you could.

Your eyes stayed on Jules’ face; he looked down at you and threw his head back. His hands gently massaged the top of your head as you kept sucking and licking him. The slurps and throat sounds made him twitch in your throat. You were amused by the situation, even if your core started to ache, begging for some attention.

You took your mouth off him for a second, your hands still caressed the base. ”You like that, babe?”

A groan escaped his mouth when the innocent look on your face. He would not last, his eyes were almost closed and his mouth partially opened.

"I’ll take that as yes." You joked, switching your attention to his balls.

The feeling of your warm mouth on them and your hands on him only hardened his member, he was leaking.

”Putain, tu veux me tuer toi.” - Fuck, you’re trying to kill me. You giggled. Jules was groaning, sometimes cursing in French. His bottom lip trapped between his teeth when he noticed your hallowed cheeks. Your hands were playing with his balls, pushing him further down your throat. He moaned louder when he almost reached the back of your throat.

”Oh putain!”

You moaned around him, making him twitch in the process. His eyes were fully closed now, one of his fists gripped the sheets. Moans and groans increased in rhythm with the slurps and throat sounds. He would come soon, you knew it.

”Je - Je vais jouir, chérie.” - I - I’m going to cum, darling. You moaned around him in response, the vibrations around him were enough to send him over the edge. A warm liquid exploded in your mouth as Jules recovered from his high.

After showing Jules the result of his orgasm, you went to the bathroom to rinse your mouth. When you came back Jules was still on cloud nine. He had the biggest grin on his face when he saw you coming back. He extended his hand, inviting you to the bed.

”Viens.” - Come. He whispered, his eyes on your figure.

”Patience, je viens.” - Patience, I’m coming.

Without warning, he took your hand and pulled you into bed. You laughed out loud when you landed on top of him. His hands rested on the small of your back. A few seconds later, Jules hungrily captured your lips. You responded, unleashing all the lust and desire you had. Your hands rested on his face as you deepened the kiss. You needed him.

”T’es vraiment une cochonne toi.” - You’re such a naughty girl.

”Your naughty girl.” You responded in a whisper. Jules bit his lips. His hands pulled on the belt of your kimono letting the soft fabric slide down your body.

”Jules.”

”My turn.” He whimpered and kissed your neck. ”Je vais te faire crier, te faire jouir. Tu me supplieras d’arreter.” - I’m going to make you scream, make you cum, you’re going to beg me to stop.

”On verra.” - Let’s see.

What you could say is that his words were not in vain. He had you screaming, whimpering, and moaning on the verge of tears. At some point, you had to beg him to stop. After your third orgasm, you collected your breath with your head on his torso.

”La récompense était incroyable. Merci, ma chérie.” - The reward was incredible. Thanks, darling.

”You deserved it, Jules.” His thumb came into contact with your face before he leaned in to peck your lips.

”Tu comptes beaucoup pour moi, tu sais.” - You mean a lot to me, you know?

”You too, Jules.” You murmured, maintaining eye contact with him. Your heartbeat increased, maybe he is going to ask. Taliah was right, you still hoped for him to ask. Yet, you fell asleep to another love confession.

****

After your very brief getaway in Paris, Jules and you spoke every single day. You both would find the time to talk on the phone. The type of effort that made Amara and Taliah frown. In their opinion, you were supposed to gradually put some distance and not give him more time or attention. You agreed that Jules should have less access to you as long as he does not step up. Yet, here you were on FaceTime with him right before going to bed. You comfortably lay in a satin set with a bare face and a silk scarf on your head. On the other side of the screen, a shirtless Jules with a black durag and grey shorts.

”Jules, I don’t think I'm going to be there for the UCL game in Barcelona. Amara comes into town tomorrow, and Taliah wants to celebrate her birthday.” Jules truly hated hearing about your cousin. He could not say much but he did not trust her. The Nathan episode and the dispute you recently had were enough to rub him the wrong way. There were too many red flags for him to like her.

”What’s the matter? You can bring them to the stadium.” He tried to convince you. That view of you in his jersey mattered too much for him to easily give up.

”Jules, it’s not possible. Taliah hates football, and she had already planned something.”

”Okay, why are you telling me now?”

”Because she was hesitating. She wasn’t sure about celebrating her birthday. Now that Amara is in town, she has changed her mind.”

”Amara once again.” Jules respected the fact that Amara was your cousin, but he could not stand her. You could feel it every time he mentioned her name.

”Amara has great connections, which makes it easier to get access to VIP tables and other privileges.”

”Yeah, the party girl. Of course, she knows everybody.” He groaned.

”Okay, I can feel that you’re not very enthusiastic about the situation, but it is what it is.” A silence ruled before Jules finally decided to respond.

”Sorry for not being happy when you break a promise. You can spend time with Amara and Taliah whenever you want. Things are different for us. I only get to see you a few times per month. I completely understand that Taliah's birthday is important, but so is my quarter-final. I thought my love would be there to support me.” You let out a loud sigh, expressing your frustration. Another return to reality. You could not run away from it for the rest of your life. He expects you to prioritise him without any type of commitment. You ignored whether you should admire his audacity or curse him out. The surname Love stopped working its magic three weeks ago. Today, it irritated you to the core.

”Jules, it’s not my birthday. I’m not going to force Taliah to change her plans because of your agenda, it’s not fair. I cannot miss her 25th birthday, I'm sorry. She’s my ride or die, and you know it.”

”Yeah, but you promised to be there last week. I understand the issue, but you’re still breaking a promise.”

"Jules, it’s not that deep. I’m not breaking a promise just because I want to. I have no choice. I travelled to Paris last week to support you. You could grant me some grace.” Jules sighed, defeated. He knew that you would not change your mind. No matter what he said, you would go to your best friend’s birthday.

”Don’t think that I’m against you going out or anything. You just shouldn’t have made a promise if you weren’t sure. That’s it.”

”How was I supposed to know that Taliah would change her mind? I’m not inside her head. I’m sorry for breaking that promise, but I can’t miss her birthday. Don’t worry I’m still going to root for you even if I’m not physically there.”

”Hum. What have you planned?”

”We have booked a restaurant then we’re going to turn up at the Tape. That famous London club, you know?”

”Is that Amara’s idea?” He asked although he already knew the response.

”Yeah. It’s easier to get access to privileges with her.”

”Good. I just hope that she won’t bring another man into your face.”

”Jules. I’m grown enough to decline.”

”I don’t trust Amara.” Another silence, you needed time to think before speaking.

”She can’t force me to do anything. Why are you so obsessed with my cousin? What happened last time had nothing to do with her. It was your fault, Jules.”

”My fault? How? You went out with her and your entire attitude changed when you came back.” He explained with a laugh.

”I meant what I said, Jules. You don’t know what you truly want.”

”Wow. Where it’s coming from this time? What a man has to do to prove himself?”

”I don’t know, maybe put a clear status on our relationship.” You spat more aggressively than intended. A silence followed, your heavy breath was the only sound on the phone.

”You know what Jules? Nevermind. I’m not going to force you to do anything. I’m not that girl and will never be. I’m just going to act accordingly. Also, you don’t get to tell me what to do. You’re not my dad, Jules.”

”I’m not trying to tell you what to do but I’m allowed to share my opinion. I’m not a fan of the idea. We had an agreement and you decided to change plans at the last minute. I’ve never done that to you. I’ve always keep my promise. This is how much I respect and value you. Whatever. I’m not even surprised coming from someone who can’t appreciate my efforts.”

Those words felt like a slap in the face. The man completely missed the meaning of your words. Or, choose to focus on something completely different, you could not tell. Whatever the excuse is, you do not care. Two could play this game.

”If I can’t appreciate your efforts, go find the one who can. How about Kimberley? I’m pretty sure she’d be more than happy with all your efforts. You’re really acting stupid for the smart man you are.” You spat and hung up, not giving him any chance to reply.

Of course, Jules called you back a few seconds ago. One call, two calls—you lose count after you put your phone in, not disturb. Your nerves were at their peak. You needed a moment to calm down before saying things that you would regret. In only a few minutes your bare face was covered with tears. Salty and burning tears that encapsulated your anger and frustrations.

He had more than three opportunities to make you his girl in a span of two weeks but nothing. You were still stuck. How much more direct did you need to be for him to get the message? You hated losing control, especially when it came to relationships. Most of the time, you were the girl giving advice, not the one crying or ranting about men.

You hated how Jules came into your life and changed everything. You hated how your heart raced faster each time you interacted with him, let alone touched him. After crying your eyes out, you decided to read your text messages. All of them were from Jules.

”I thought we left the Kimberley thing behind. Why do you always feel the need to throw that into my face? It's either you can move on or there’s no point in pursuing. Ever since you found out about her, things had been rocky.”

”I've confessed my love, being honest, vulnerable, and everything, still it’s not enough. You had to bring up Kimberley again. You’re talking about status, how about we start with trust? There’s nothing we can build without trust.”

”Last thing don’t ever talk to me like that. I’m not your dad, but I’m for sure not your kid too. I’m allow to be mad when you break promises. Anyway, have fun with the girls.”

Reading the messages was a terrible idea. The wisest choice would have been to go to sleep and read them tomorrow. Now, here you are crying out of anger. Whatever happens next, happens. You started to type on your phone, ”Dear Jules, all I can read are excuses. Things weren’t rocky in that hotel room in Paris, uh? You’re the one who ruins everything with your attitude. If you think that I give a shit about Kimberley, you’re absolutely wrong. My problem is you, not her, trust isn’t the issue either. The biggest issue is your actions not matching your words, Jules.

Stop acting as if you’re the only one who’s been open and vulnerable, I am too. I do apologise for my last words, they were mean. I should know better. Last, I feel like we need some distance as we struggle to communicate and understand each other. Good night, Jules.”

****

A few days later…

The three of you prepared for the festivities of the night applying makeup in the bathroom while singing to all types of songs. It’s been four days since you last spoke to Jules.

”Hello, Jules. I know we’re not in the best place right now, but I still want to wish you good luck for the game tonight. I’m still rooting for you. #ViscaelBarca.”

”Merci, ma chérie. Amuse-toi bien.” - Thanks, darling. Have fun. These were the last words you exchanged before going on with your lives.

”Y/N, have you asked Jules about Aurélien, yes or no?” Amara asked in all seriousness which was not surprising. Aurélien was her type of man: tall, dark-skinned, muscular, and charming. You shook your head and giggled.

”See, Taliah? She’s against my happiness, I’m just asking for his phone number or something. I need him, can’t you understand?” You rolled your eyes at her.

”You’re dramatic, Amara. I’ll see what I can do.”

”Girl, you need to do something before cutting Jules off for good.” Amara paused and opened her mouth in shock. ”Unless you don’t want to so you can date Aurélien after dumping Jules. That’s evil, Y/N.” Taliah laughed at Amara’s imagination. She was such a drama queen.

”You’re stupid, Amara. I’ll never do that to Jules. Aurélien is like a brother to him.”

”Oh girl, you’re better than me.” You giggled again. Knowing Amara she has probably done it. Personally it is a line you will never cross.

"Aurélien wouldn't be okay with it. He really cares about Jules." Amara laughed again, shaking her head.

"Hum. Let's not forget that the man was in your likes before you met Jules."

"It doesn't matter. With everything that has happened with Jules, forget about it."

"Good, I can have him for myself." Sometimes you hated how unserious Amara could be. Opening the doors did not mean hooking up with his friends, not when you actually cared about Jules.

Taliah jumped on the occasion to ask, ”Talking about Jules. How things are going between you?”

”Bad.” You briefly responded, hoping to end the conversation as soon as possible.

”We need more, Mrs. Koundé.” Amara teased, which made Taliah laugh.

”He can’t make me his girlfriend, let alone a wife. I'm not even thinking about it.” You sadly responded, playing with your thumbs. Amara and Taliah stopped joking when they noticed your glistening eyes. You were clearly affected by the situation they could tell.

Amara let out a frustrated sigh, ”You need to let him go. I know it’s hard, but look at you. On the verge of tears for a guy. I don't like that. He doesn’t deserve you. You’re a fantastic woman, it pisses me off that you’re holding onto him as if your life depends on it. You deserve a man who can commit. Not an indecisive one who can’t step up after six months.”

”Y/N, please. We had that conversation already. It will hurt today, but you’ll feel better in the future. Keeping him around isn’t going to help you at all. Jules is a great guy on paper, but it’s not enough.” Taliah added.

”I know, it’s just not easy when you’re so convinced that this man is your person.”

”You’ll find better, believe us.” Taliah gently caressed your shoulders as Amara rose from her chair.

”Tonight, you better have all the fun you want. I don’t want to hear anything about Jules. We’re pushing him to the left for the rest of the night. I’m pretty sure you can meet beautiful guys. Taliah, do you have some hot friends?”

”I don’t think they’re your type, ladies.”

”It doesn’t matter, we’ll meet guys in the club.” Amara brushed the subject off. Her ability to move on to the next thing always surprised you. If only you could borrow it for a week to simply move on from Jules.

"Ready to have fun tonight?" Amara asked with a smirk on her face.

"You don't owe him anything, anyway. Who knows what he's doing behind your back. He's a baller, he can't be trusted." Amara confidently said.

You look at Taliah, hoping that she will defend you or stand up. Of course, you wanted to have fun, but you ignored if your heart would allow it. Taliah noticed the hesitation in your eyes and gave you a reassuring smile.

"We don't know if he's seeing other women for sure, Amara." Taliah tried to explain.

"Y/N is my cousin, she deserves the truth. They're not the type of men you should trust anyway. Most of them are dogs. If he never asked you to be his girl it's probably because you're just another girl on his list. No more, no less. The only reason he acts like a boyfriend is because he knows that you won't accept less than princess treatment. A woman of your calibre cannot. He probably wants to keep you for himself. I'm sorry for being that harsh, but you need to hear it."

You gulped in response. Amara was probably right. Jules certainly had other girls somewhere. He only behaved like a boyfriend to keep you around. Taliah furrowed her eyebrows in response to Amara's tirade.

"I can agree to an extent, Amara. Jules hasn't given our girl a reason to doubt. He's been on his best behavior. We cannot be sure that he has other girls." Taliah did not want to be Jules' advocate, but someone had to balance things out.

"They're ballers, you know how they roll. I mean, I've been onto one roaster once. No commitment, just sex and gifts. The best of both worlds to me. If you cannot do that, Y/N, I advise you to cut this man off as soon as possible. You're the one who's going to suffer from the situation. That's why you need to wake up and live your best life tonight."

Taliah stared at you, wondering if you agreed with your cousin. You nodded, defeated. She was right. You were just delusional. While you wasted your time thinking, worrying, and crying over Jules, the man on the other hand, certainly entertained other women. You ignored if he treated them like you, but one thing was certain. Tonight, you will have fun, you will let it go and bring back the bad bitch for one night. Maybe more than a night if things were right.

”Why would you want Aurélien then? If they’re all dogs.”

”As Gaga once said, I wanna take a ride on his disco stick.” The sentence made you laugh out loud. Amara was a very special woman.

”I don’t think there’s any kind of disco in him.” You replied with a smirk.

”I don’t care. I want to take a ride. Don’t worry about me, you know how I roll. Money or status can’t impress me, I’ll still treat you like the guy next door.” Another fact, you remembered how one of her flirt messaged you on Instagram to complain about her nonchalant attitude.

”It doesn’t mean shit. Y/N treated Jules like a random dude when they met. Look at where she is today.” Taliah contested as she finished dressing up. When you were ready to leave, Taliah gently grabbed your arms and whispered, "Don't act out of fear. I wanted to tell you. Only do what feels right for you.”

You smiled at her, she always had the best intentions at heart. Deep inside, she knew that you only wanted to follow Amara's advice out of fear. The fear of being hurt, left behind, or heartbroken. Not because you actually wanted to have fun. Still, you needed to explore that door, you needed to see who could stand behind it.

"Don't worry about me, Taliah. Let's go."

****

After a convivial time at the restaurant with Taliah's friends and some family members, you all went to one of London's most famous clubs, The Tape. Usually, it was pretty difficult to get in, but things were always easier with Amara or nightlife networking queen, as you liked to call her.

Everybody looked excited and enthusiastic to spend time here in Taliah's honor. She had a very close yet solid circle. The music blasted in the club as a staff member led you to your private table for the night.

"One of my friends seems interested. He wants to get to know you." She whispered in your ear when you sat down on the sofa.

"I know. He kept devouring me with his eyes the entire time."

"What do you think?" You stole a glance at the man for the second time before shaking your head.

"Not really my type." Taliah smiled, she already knew that the man was not your type. Actually, none of her three male friends were your type. They were cute, sympathetic, and the last one was even funny, but you were not interested. The spark and excitement you wanted were missing. On the other hand, your cousin, Amara, shamelessly flirted with the funny guy. Nothing is surprising when it comes to her. It would not be a night out if Amara did not flirt with somebody’s son. She threw her head back, laughing at his jokes, her arm intertwined with his.

That sight reminded you of your strong connection with Jules. In public, his hands always ended up on your knees. Jules was the one laughing at your jokes, sass, or sarcasm. That was the only difference.

”Is everything alright?” Taliah asked worryingly.

”Oh, yes. I just need some alcohol.” You lied, refusing to admit your moment of weakness. You hated how your mind always brought you back to Jules, even when you promised to live your best life.

Thankfully, the extravagant entrance of the bottles of champagne and vodka caught your attention, shifting the focus to something else. The entire VIP area turned around to watch the waitresses dance and wave happy birthday lightening signs. She even got a shout-out from the DJ. As you joyfully danced and clapped in your hands, celebrating your best friend, your eyes met a gorgeous brown eyes. There he is, the first person behind the door, your type. The two of you stared at one another for a minute before you looked away with a smirk on your face. Time to explore your other options.

****

The beautiful and familiar face stole multiple glances at you. Apparently your little tricks were working: stare at him for a few seconds before turning away with a smirk, look at him up and down, make eye contact while sipping on your drink, slowly licking your lips. The man looked mesmerised, he could not help but stare.

The moment was similar to your meeting with Jules. You remembered how his eyes were glued to you, how his mouth slightly open each time he looked at you dancing. Jules was tormented, but still took his time to admire you. He was in no rush to talk to you. In his eyes, you were like a rare painting, one he wanted to watch as long as he could. He wanted to remember every single detail.

Tonight, Jules was not the one to devour you with his eyes. Another light-skinned man with big brown eyes and full lips was doing so. You ignored his name but hoped to have it by the end of the night. Of course, you would have his name. You were that girl, that seductress, you just toned it down in the name of love. A love you would put to the side for the night.

You could feel the man hesitating. Time to capture his attention for the rest of the night with your special move. You waited for the next catchy song to come on. The second you heard a beat, you left your seat and joined Amara and other girls on the VIP small dance floor.

Ayra Starr played in the background when you slowly twisted your hips. It was only a matter of time before his eyes glued to your figure. His eyes alternated between your naked legs, hips, and butt. You exaggeratedly rolled your hips directly staring at him. He smiled, probably the cutest smile you have seen for a moment.

He gasped when you blocked your hips and grinded again. Even Amara whistled at the very bold dance move. "That's my cousin! Go girl!" Those words only increased your boldness. With the alcohol, adrenaline, and frustration, you walked towards him and took his hands.

Without a word, he rose from the sofa and followed you. The DJ seemed to be on your side as he played another song that would allow you to perform. Many eyes were on you, most of them surprised by the bold move and others curious to see what would happen next. You turned around and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"It's rude to stare at a lady like that without introducing yourself." He smiled again, lightly tilting his head to the side.

"I'm sorry, you're absolutely right. I'm Ruben. What about you?"

"I like that name." You whispered in his ear.

"What's your name?" He patiently waited. The player you could be had something in mind.

"I don't know if you deserve it. You stared at me for a moment."

"I wanted to talk to you, but I enjoyed the dance moves way too much." You smirked.

"Hum. If you can make things up by the end of the night, I'll give you my name."

"Bet."

The conversation started with basic stuff: What are you doing here? Where do you live? How old are you? Nothing special until you decided to redirect the conversation.

"It's weird. I feel like I've seen you before." You said in a curious tone.

"I see what you're trying to do. We never met before I would have remembered. Maybe you've seen me in your dreams. If that's the case, I'm flattered." You laughed and rolled your eyes.

"You wish. What I can confidently say is that you're probably going to see me in your dreams tonight." He giggled, clearly turned on by your confidence.

"On a more serious note, I know I've seen you somewhere."

"If you're watching football, there's a high chance, yeah." Please, not a baller for another one. You thought to yourself. The universe really wanted to slow you down in your fun. You were not enthusiastic to be another girl on the roaster or in another situationship.

"Who are you playing for?"

"AC Milan."

"I don't know much about Serie A. You're lucky. I can't drag you." He laughed out loud.

Amara observed the scene with a thumb up and a huge smile. She was very happy to see you flirting and giving your attention to someone else than Jules. The music in the background did not matter as you conversed with Ruben.

"Yeah, I'm very lucky then. I know that mouth crushes egos.”

”Only when the ego gets on her nerves. If not that mouth can be very sweet.” You seductively implied which made Ruben lick his lips. From that moment on, his arm wrapped around your waist as you both pursued your flirty session. More than once, you found yourself throwing your head back while laughing at his jokes.

You did not mind interrupting the conversation each time one of your favourite songs came on. Many eyes envied Ruben as you grinded and twisted your hips on him. His hands rested on your hips as he murmured in your ear, praising your dancing skills. Ruben quickly fell under the spell. He hides his face in your neck, desperately trying to memorise your sweet and flowery perfume. You closed your eyes, enjoying all the attention you were receiving. The one move you should have avoided. The second you closed your eyes, your brain saw the images of Jules: memories, laughs, his face, his scent, even his voice.

Suddenly, Ruben’s body felt too close to yours. That was all it took for you to crave Jules again. Within a second, you broke contact with Ruben. Your attitude shifted, you were less flirty and more friendly. All of a sudden, Taliah’s words made sense. You acted out of fear, not genuine desire. Sure, Ruben was a very attractive man, but your mind and heart were with Jules. You just wanted to see if you could forget about him for a night. Obviously, you failed the test.

”Is everything alright?” Ruben asked worryingly. He seemed very attracted to you and determined to get your name and number.

”Fine, sorry. I feel like alcohol is getting the best of me.” You lied with a fake smile.

”Maybe you should sit down a little bit.” He offered his arm to lead you to the sofa, a kind gesture you appreciated. Once you were seated, you thanked him.

”Should I get water for you?”

” No, thanks. I’ll be alright. Don’t worry.” Ruben stayed by your side the rest of the night to make sure that you were fine. The two of you pursued the conversations, they were less flirty and more serious. The simple thought of Jules was enough to stop you in your tracks. Tonight, you realised how much you loved and cared about him. The girls were right, if you keep him in your life, you will only suffer more.

"So, can I have your phone number?” Ruben asked with the flirtiest smile ever. Although he had a radiant smile, you had to decline. It would be cruel to waste his time or simply use him to get at Jules. He deserved better.

”Ruben, I’d love to, but it wouldn’t be fair for you. My heart is with someone else, and I don’t want to use you.” He longly stared at you in silence.

”Oh, I see. You’re in a relationship.”

“Not really, let’s say it’s complicated.”

”I hope it’s at least worth it. I mean, I’d love to get to know you. Are you sure there’s no way? It shouldn’t be a problem if it’s not a relationship.”

”Ruben, it has nothing to do with you. I'm the problem.” He sighed, defeated.

”All I can say is that I hope he’s worth the complication. If you do change your mind, I’ll be waiting for you, gorgeous.” You grinned and gave him your name. That is the best you could do at the moment. Ruben had no idea that he triggered a sensitive cord.

”Thanks, Ruben. I had a great time!” He replied with open arms. With a smile on your face, you hugged him. He smelled good—so good that you almost cursed yourself out for not taking his contact. Jules, Jules, Jules, if it were not for you.

The second you exited the club, your first reflex was to check the final score between PSG and Barcelona. You let out a loud gasp as you read the final score and the recap. Everything went downhill after Araujo got sent off. They tried to keep the score, but gave in. 4-1 was a tough loss.

”Fuck!” You said under your breath.

By the time you were in bed, you had tried to call Jules for the fifth time, but he never responded. ”Jules, babe. I’ve seen the score. I’m so sorry. I wish I was right next to you. I wanted the team to win that one so bad. Call me back, please.”

****

Instead of waiting behind a phone, you decided to take a flight to Barcelona to love and support Jules. He probably needed it after what happened last night. You hoped that your little surprise would cheer him up and help him relax. A small luggage on one hand and a gift in the other, you rang on the door.

Jules opened the door right before he clenched his jaw. ”What are you doing here?” He coldly asked while inviting you inside.

”I’m here to support you and spend time with you. Surprise!”

”I’ll be fine. It happens in football.” The distance and coldness of his tone alerted you. Jules never behaved that way, even after an important loss. Most of the time, he would talk or vent to you. Isolating himself was not a habit of his.

”Here, open your gift. I’m sure you’re going to like it.” Jules thanked you with a murmur as he slowly opened the bag that contained a manga figurine. He examined it with a half-smirk and put it on the kitchen counter. No kisses, no hugs, nothing, just a simple thank you as if you were a random fan he met in the streets.

”Do you like it?”

”I love it.” Something was clearly off. Not even a full smile, he just stood there with empty eyes.

”It doesn’t look like it, Jules. I mean, I thought you’d be happy to see me, but I feel like that’s not the case. You didn't even greet me with a kiss or anything. Are we fighting? I don’t understand.”

”I’d be more than happy if I didn’t have to see you dancing and flirting with another man last night.” Your heart stopped. The last thing you expected was a video proof of your failed flirt attempt.

”What?”

”Don’t play innocent. Be honest.”

”I’m not playing innocent at all. I’m just wondering -”

”How do I know? It’s all over the football gossip pages, and one of my friends sent it to me. You and Ruben Loftus Cheek. Everything makes sense now. I now understand why my heart and soul aren’t enough.”

”Jules. You’re misinterpreting things. I never said that it wasn’t enough. I said that it's not commitment. It leaves the door open for other people. This is what I said.”

”Yeah, I remember. You talked about leaving the door open for other people. I understand what you meant now. I was so stupid. I’m here treating you like a princess, thinking about how to make your life easier, always making more efforts, even wondering what I can do to fix things between us. All of that for you to openly flirt with another man. Ça me m’énerve tellement.” - It pisses me off so much.

"Can I at least talk to you?” Jules was fuming, your words were very hard to digest for him. His clenched jaw and closed eyes were clear signs.

”I…Nothing happened between Ruben and me. He even asked for my phone number, but I said no because of you.”

”Is that supposed to make me feel better, Y/N? I just lost a quarterfinal. The game was awful. As I come back home, I have to see videos of you flirting and grinding on another man. Nothing is going to make me feel better. Nothing. What kills me is that you’re the only person I wanted to be with and talk to after the match, I mean, until I see you living your best life out there.”

”Jules, it was more of a discussion than a flirt. The images aren’t representing what truly happened.”

”Don’t. Please, don’t. A simple discussion with a huge smile on your face? The same one you have when I flirt with you. Discussing with his arms wrapped around your waist? Discussing with him, murmuring in your ear? Almost kissing your neck? Twisting your hips and grinding on him is discussing? Tu te fous de moi ou quoi?” - Are fucking kidding me or what?

Your heart broke at the sight of his glistening eyes and the sound of his broken voice. You looked down, regretting certain moments of that interaction. It was not worth seeing all the pain you have caused. Especially not when you acted out of ego and fear.

”It meant nothing to me. I only care about you, Jules.”

”Really? Is that all you have to say to me, Y/N?”

Another silence. You were heartbroken at the situation, but also mad at him for allowing it to happen. After all that misunderstanding could have been avoided if he had stepped up when he had the chance to.

"You let me down when I needed you the most."

”Jules, you know that's not true. I’ve always been there for you. I literally flew all the way here to show you some support.”

"We lost. I had a shit night. I'm going through it and I have to see my girl with another man.” You stared at him in silence. Your eyes waiting for another word, an explanation. His girl? Since when? That conversation never happened.

"Your girl? Jules, really?" He realized that his emotions got the best of him. That is not how he wanted to phrase it.

"That's unfair, Jules. I'm not your..." You paused, the knot in your throat would not let you finish the sentence. Jules looked at the white wall before him. His eyes wandered everywhere, except for your figure.

"Jules. We never discussed it. When I tried, you never responded or even asked me to be your girl. This what I’ve been trying to tell you recently. We have everything except commitment.”

”Is that why you behaved the way you did?”

”I haven’t cheated or anything.”

”I’m not accusing you of cheating. I feel betrayed, that’s it. What about my feelings? If you really cared, you would never have crossed that line. You can’t complain about Kimberley to do worse two weeks later.”

”I do care about you, Jules, but you also need to admit that it would never have happened if I were your girl. If you had asked, we wouldn’t be in that situation.”

”Why would I ask you to be my girl? You don’t love me.You said it yourself, you don’t love me. You just appreciate me. At least, you proved it now. There’s no doubt left.” You closed your eyes, understanding where his actual frustration came from.

”Jules, I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, but you’re unfair.” You said with a trembling voice. ”Even if I didn’t reply to your love confession, I still brought up those conversations about commitment. You should have understood. I’m not 100% responsible. We both miscommunicated.”

”No, you’re not fair. I can’t read your mind. You’re telling me that you don’t love me and still expect me to ask you? The same night, you’re talking about how giving your heart and soul isn’t a commitment. You never at any point expressed that you wanted commitment. Don’t blame it on me. Also, may I remind you that when we started to talk, you told me that you weren’t looking for anything serious.”

”All I can hear right now are excuses. If you had any doubts, you should have stepped up and asked the right questions. You didn’t. Unless my memory is getting hazy, I mentioned it. Remember when we fought about my girl's night out? As I said before, I’m not 100% responsible for the situation. Also, why would I say that I love you when you’re still talking to Kimberley? Be honest, Jules. Sure, it’s not an excuse for what I did in, but you’re not innocent.”

”I don’t give a flying fuck about Kimberley. Never did. As I explained multiple times she used to be a hookup. I’ve seen how it bothered you so I blocked her the same night. What do you do in return? Flirt and grind on another man and it’s supposed to me my fault? T’es sérieuse?” - Are you for real?

”I never said it was your fault. I guess I just wanted to -” He rubbed his face, trying to hide the frown that gradually formed as the tension increased on both sides.

”To what? What was the reason? You thought he would make you his girl after a few hours in a club, is that it? You took the easiest route instead of fighting for us.”

”That’s the problem, Jules. There’s no us. That was the freaking problem. You don’t get to be mean and jealous when you refuse to commit. Also, who’s telling me that you're not doing the same? Just because there’s no proof doesn’t make you innocent.” You replied without thinking. With your emotions all over the place, maintaining a facade became more and more complicated.

”You can look for all the proofs in the world, you’re not going to find anything. My heart, body, and soul are 100% with you. No one else. I was very serious about you.”

”Jules, if you were that serious, why not commit? You didn’t even try, Jules. Without commitment, both of us are still free. That’s the thing.” You explained with glistening eyes.

”It hurts but there’s no us, Jules. You never made me your girl. How can you treat me like your girl, but never step up to ask the question? I’ve tried to have this conversation with you more than once. Yet, nothing. You still ignored. What was I supposed to do? Force a relationship down your throat? This isn’t me. I’ll never be that girl. Jules, God knows that I was waiting for you to ask. This is what I wanted. I thought that you would understand, but I was apparently wrong.” Those words resonated, he realized that you both wanted the same thing but struggled to be open about it.

”Hearing I love you you didn’t do anything for me. I wanted you to make me your girl first. I replied the way I did because I didn’t believe you. You appreciate me there’s no doubt. The problem is that we don't know what we are, not even ourselves. We're clearly not friends, Jules. If you had to introduce me, what would you even say?”

"You're the woman I love, the one I imagined a future with. I’ve been open about it.”

"Apparently not enough to make her your girl. My cousin and friend warned me multiple times, and I still choose to trust you. Last time, I was convinced that you’d ask me, but once again, nothing. You had many chances to do so but never did. You call me love, act jealous, all of that to not even claim me? If I'm that perfect for you, why am I not your girl, Jules? Why?” You let it all out, your voice was shaking. By the time you finished, you were almost out of breath. Obviously, you regretted your actions, but you were also mad at him for all the frustrations he caused.

”I planned to do so until you hit me back, with I appreciate you too. At the moment, it was clear that you had no intention of making a commitment. The very next day, I already took an L, and you come up with your open the door to other people. Yesterday was just the final straw. It was clear to me that you weren’t looking for a relationship.”

”Why not ask and see what I have to say, or just be upfront about it?”

”Would you have done it after saying I love you to your person and hear I appreciate you as a response?”

”Today, you can make things right.” Things were clear on both sides, you wanted the same thing but could not express it. Now that you have laid everything down, there should be no more obstacles. This is what you thought until you heard Jules’ reply.

”I don’t think it’s a good idea.” He whispered, his eyes on the white wall. They were slightly more open than usual. The man was very pissed, but the depth of his eyes revealed how hurt he was.

”Jules, Ruben isn’t who I want. I declined taking his number because each time I closed my eyes, I’d see you. Everything brought me back to you. You’re the one I want, Jules.”

You were met with silence—a very heavy and meaningful silence. You were right, Jules was only making excuses. How could he stay silent after the confession? Both of you intensely stared at one another. As time passed, you felt stupid. He probably played games from the jump, and you were stupid enough to fall for it.

”I get it, Jules. I get it. My bestie was right, I'm probably another girl on the roaster. You’re trying to find excuses all the time. I was just stupid enough to think that..." You falsely giggled as your eyes glistened.

”I think, I should go.” You whispered right before collecting your small luggage and heading towards the door. That is when Jules rose from his seat and tried to follow you.

"Don't." He screamed when the door closed behind you. It was too late, you were already gone. Jules hesitated, but still went out and called your name multiple times.

Hearing his voice break each time he called your name broke your heart into pieces, but you needed to be stronger than that. Today, it would not be enough to make you stay. The silence was a clear message. Jules never truly wanted you. It was all an illusion.

****

With a heavy heart, you kept pushing your cousin’s doorbell. Your vision blurred because of the tears that rolled down. Amara groaned, taking all her time to open the door. She shouted behind the door, asking who it was.

”It’s me.” She immediately recognised your voice and opened. Amara was in pyjamas, probably chilling in front of the TV, which was rare.

”What happened to you?” The worries in her voice replaced the usual light and funny tone.

”Jules. He… You were right.” You proceeded to articulate, right before sobbing into her arms.

”Sssshh, it’s okay. I’ve warned you. I told you.” She murmured while caressing your back.

”I was so stupid, Amara. So stupid.”

”We all make mistakes. Don’t be so harsh.”

Amara sat across the couch, a cup of tea in her hands. She stared at you in silence, thinking about various ideas or words to cheer you up. Yet the look on your face discouraged her. Whatever happened with Jules clearly affected you.

”Can you explain to me what exactly happened?”

”We had a fight. He has seen the videos with Ruben and me last night.”

”What about it? You’re not his girl, he cannot be mad.”

”This is what I explained to him, but it’s more complicated than that.”

”Explain yourself.” You took a deep breath and opened up about the situation. Amara listened attentively, as if she were scared to miss something. When you were done, the cup of tea was on the table.

”Please, don’t tell me you replied I appreciate you when he said I love you.” A long silence settled in as Amara put a hand on her forehead.

”Are you crazy? Of course, he wasn’t going to ask after that. That’s a huge blow for anyone’s ego.”

”It doesn’t matter. He had the chance to make things right today, but he still refused. That’s a lie. He never had any intention of making me his girl. Don't fall for his crap.”

”He wasn’t going to ask you in the middle of a fight. You wouldn’t have done that yourself. Let’s be realistic.” You slightly opened your mouth in annoyance.

”I don’t even care at this point. I’m done with him. I refuse to stay in that situation. We’re done. I hope he’s going to have all the fun with other girls on his roaster. When it comes to me I’m out. I’m sick and tired of his words and meaningless actions.”

”I don’t think he's lying. I truly think he wanted to ask but hearing I appreciate you killed him. Also the fact that you speak of opening the door and then go to the club and flirt with somebody else. It doesn’t send relationship signals. Y/N, if you have brought up the topic the way you explained there’s a chance the message got lost. You should have been clearer.”

”What did you want me to do? Ask him to be my man?”

”Nobody said that. I’m just explaining that you could have simply asked him: What do you think about us? Where do you see us in the future? How would you qualify our relationship? I don’t know but anything other than your open doors or whatever.”

”I thought you hated Jules.”

”I don’t. Jules hates me, and he’s probably going to hate me more after that.”

”As I said before, it doesn’t matter. We’re done. Summer is coming soon anyway, I’m going to live my best hot girl summer and not think about anybody.” Amara giggled.

”This isn’t how it works. You should heal before, otherwise, you’ll make even more mistakes. You still love him, it’s very obvious.”

”Don’t worry, this is the last time you hear about him. Promise.” You spat with bitterness. One thing you loved about yourself was your ability to stand on business. If someone takes the door in your life, they’re never coming back. Nothing or no one will make you change your mind. You would mourn later.

After a long and hot shower, you spend the entire evening with your cousin commenting on reality shows on Netflix. An extremely entertaining activity that diminished the ache in your heart. ”Girl, please get off the floor. Stop begging for love.” Amara annoyingly shouted at her TV screen, which made you laugh.

”Not everybody has your cold heart, Amara.”

”I agree, but your heart cannot be too warm. If not, it will melt the second a man murmurs bullshit in your ear.” You giggled, remembering how funny Amara could be. The moment of joy was cut short by your phone consistent vibrations. Amara raised an eyebrow.

”Can you deal with it? I want to finish my show in silence.” You rolled your eyes and turned your phone off.

”Girl, what if you get an emergency call?”

”If that’s a real emergency, people better call the police or an ambulance. There’s nothing I can do for you at this point.”

”You’re such a drama queen. DND would have worked perfectly.”

”Coming from another drama queen, I’m not taking that comment seriously.” She shook her head while eating some chocolate.

”You’re rude. Don’t forget you stay at my place, I can kick you out. It’ll force you to go back to your man.”

”I’ll go to a nice hotel. Don’t even worry.” The two of you shared a laugh and refocused on the TV screen.

****

The ache in your heart increased brutally resurfaced the second you laid down, hoping that sleep would appease your wounded heart. You tried, switched position, all of that in vain. Sleep never came. You turned on your phone to scroll through some shopping sites, praying that sleep would appease your tormented soul.

Unfortunately, your reality kicked back in as the surname you picked for Jules appeared on your screen: King Jkey 👑💙😎. He had called and messaged you more times than you could count.

”Chérie, answer to me. Where are you?” - ”I need to know that you’re safe. Love, please.” - ”Are you at Amara’s or at a hotel?” - ”I’m sorry, chérie. I felt so many emotions at the same time, I froze. Can we talk again? I feel like we both needed to calm down a bit.” - ”It’s not what you think. I want you. Please, can we talk?” - ”Love? Don't do that to me, please. Don’t ignore me.” - ”Chérie, t’es ma moitié. Tu le sais. Arrête s’il te plait. J’ai besoin de te parler.” - Darling, you’re my half. Please, stop. I need to talk to you.

One thing about Jules, the man knew how to speak to women. A few weeks ago, you would melt like ice cream under the warm sun. After what happened today, no words could impress you. The pain in your chest reminded you how Jules failed to keep you. The message was more than clear, he just wanted the advantages of a boyfriend without changing his status.

It hurt even more because, at some point, a part of you thought that Jules was your person. Never in your life have you developed such an intimate, strong, and deep connection with someone. Jules was the first one to make you feel that way. He had so many traits and values you were looking for in a partner: calm, empathetic, adventurous, curious, cultivated, generous, romantic, funny, ambitious, a fashion lover, disciplined, and great in bed. The list could go on, but you preferred to stop. The same way your desires were brutally denied earlier.

You took a deep breath and typed, ”Bonsoir, Jules. I’m safe, thank you. After what happened this afternoon, I needed a moment to think and clear my mind. Now, I can confidently say that I think it’s best for both of us to stop everything. We had a great time together. We spent so many good moments together. I'll never forget them, but this situation really affects me, and I hate it there. I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s tiring to be in confusion. Today, you brought me the clarity I needed or refused to see. Your silence didn’t go unnoticed.

Don’t worry, I completely respect and understand your response. You’re young, hot, and rich. A relationship might not be what you want at the moment, and that’s okay. I’m not mad at you. I just want to cut ties. Please respect my decision. You’re an amazing person, I’ll never forget you. I wish we had more time and more moments, but life is what it is. I wish you nothing but the best. Keep serving looks and defending like you do.

PS: Feel free to get a refund for my flight ticket for Benin, same for everything you had planned for the summer. Good luck with the EURO! I’ll be somewhere, rooting for your success. Bye Jules.”

Your already broken heart shattered in pieces when you sent the message. It affected you, but it was the right decision to make. Tomorrow morning, you will go back to England and close that chapter for good. It’s going to be long and hard, but you need to move on. You needed to choose yourself, which meant knowing that you deserve better than a simple situationship. That night, as you closed your eyes, slowly succumbing to sleep, the images of him came back to mind. God, he was beautiful.

You could not tell if it was a dream, all you remember was the sun caressing your skin as you enjoyed a picnic on the beach in Benin. The most memorable image was the smile on his face. He looked happy. He had the most genuine smile—so genuine that small wrinkles around his eyes appeared. Those were the last images you allowed yourself to enjoy. After that, you needed to slowly push him out of your mind.

To be continued…

#jules kounde x reader

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