Miriam Wilde, but everyone calls me Midge. PSU masters student, accountant at Pacific Grace Church.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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Never have I dealt with anything as difficult as my own soul.
Imam Al-Ghazali
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“I feel strong. Not strong enough to face myself, but strong enough to keep going.”
— James Frey
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My mind is running too fast. Shadows on the wall keep lurking. || Namidge
WHO: @natepuck, @mir-iamwilde
WHERE: Midge's Apartment
WHEN: The 7th of November
WHY: Nate has a disappointing date and shows up at Midge's who is home alone and grateful for the company.
WARNINGS: I think this is mostly just fluffy tbh.
nate puckerman Nate was officially an idiot, which is something he was very well in tune with. No matter who he hooked up with, it was never as good as it was with Midge. Was he on a mission to possibly find someone who could make him feel exactly like she did? Possibly. But at this point, he was pretty sure it was impossible. He had just spent the last hour with a girl who was very attractive, yes.. but completely underwhelming. He found himself standing in front of Midge's apartment, as he always did, and shot her off a text: actually proud of you for locking your door this time. let me in though
Midge WildeIt felt rare lately that Midge spent a night home alone, and she hated it. She used to enjoy her own space, but now she felt anxiety whenever she was alone. Still, she was determined to not let herself become pathetic and afraid, so she planned a night at home alone. She regretted it, as she sat with every light in her apartment turned on to make sure she was really alone, and could feel herself flood with relief when she saw the text from Nate pop up to say he was there. She hadn’t expected him, but she certainly welcomed the company. She sprang to the door, pulling it open as she regained her composure. “You just can’t stay away from me, can you? Even a locked door won’t deter you.” She grinned, stepping aside to let him in. “What’s up? You couldn’t find a poor girl to fall for your charm tonight?”
nate puckermanNate leaned forward to press a quick kiss to Midge's cheek, and rolled his eyes. He didn't want to let her know that he was actually coming from hooking up with a girl and came straight here instead. "Shit, does that make you a poor girl who fell for my charms?" He grinned, making himself comfortable as he grabbed himself a water bottle. "Nothing. Just wanted to see my favorite girl tonight. What's so wrong with that?" He'd been drinking, but the effects of the alcohol were almost long gone. After taking a few sips he walked over towards her, wondering why she was alone tonight. She was always around someone, whether it be him, Danny or some other lucky dude. Nate took her hand in his own. "You doing okay?"
Midge WildeShe grinned at his words, shaking her head, "No silly, you're the poor guy who fell for mine." She shut the door again, relocking it, and laughing when he spoke again. Midge didn't bother to be shy with Nate, she pulled her hand away from his, instead letting her hands land on his waist, snaking around to his sides to stand closer to him. Her eyes met his and she nodded, "I'm good, glad to have some company now." She smiled, her head tilting to the side, "You smell like alcohol and shitty perfume, so maybe you did find a poor girl to fall for your charm, what happened?"
nate puckerman"Poor guy? Far from it." Nate couldn't help himself whenever he was around Midge. He slid his hand down her back and let his hand rest on her ass and smiled down at her. He shrugged when she asked what happened. "Nothing happened. It was just shitty. I don't even know how to explain it, but I was not feeling myself with her." She wasn't you, he doesn't say. He probably didn't need to anyway. With his free hand, he cupped her chin gently, letting his thumb run over her jawline. "What have you been up to by yourself?"
Midge WildeShe let herself relax into his touch, her own hands finding their way to his chest now. “Shitty sex is the worst.” She commented, though maybe that wasn’t what he meant, but she wasn’t sure how far either of them should be diving into what he meant. Midge looked up at his touch, meeting his eyes and smiling. “I’d love to tell you I was doing something naughty and get you all wound up, but I wasn’t. I was just trying to find something to watch.” Her voice sounded sadder than she’d intended it to but she shook away the feeling, remembering how every light in the whole place was on and hoping that didn’t seem odd. Midge moved to lay one of her hands over his, moving his hand so she could kiss his palm, “Did you want to change that?”
nate puckermanNate knew Midge well enough at this point, and when she teased about doing something naughty - the tone of her voice told him something else. He looked around the apartment and then back at her. "You were looking for something to watch with all the lights on? C'mon now." Everything that had been going on with her dad had to have been weighing on her. He watched as she pressed a kiss to his palm and gave a small smile to her, shaking his head amusedly. He settled his hand behind her head and pulled her in for a kiss, though it was a soft one - not one that he would give to really anybody but her. "You know that I'm always down to fuck you." God, he was. She was fucking incredible, and she had him completely addicted. Nate paused. "But something's telling me that's not what you really want. Or am I wrong?"
Midge WildeShe sighed at his words, it was a blessing and a curse to have someone know her the way Nate did. Though kissing him was nice, she couldn’t deny that he was right, fucking wasn’t what she wanted right now, if it was she’d be doing it already, she’d have made plans for the night, or hell, she’d be down on her knees for Nate by now, but she knew that her head wasn’t in it right now. “I’m just trying to force myself to feel okay to be alone again.” She whispered, pulling her eyes away from his now, looking at the floor instead. “I used to love having a night to myself at home, and now I feel like there’s a monster hiding in every shadow.” She hated the way she sounded, she hated feeling so pathetic and scared. “I’m glad you showed up so I don’t have to feel afraid.”
nate puckermanNate nodded, knowing that sex wasn't what she wanted. He could always tell by just the tone of her voice even if she tried to hide it. Nate wrapped his arms around her and brought her as close as possible and started running his fingers through her hair. "You never have to feel afraid when I'm around," he promised her, pulling back to look her straight in the eyes. "It's completely normal to be freaked the fuck out by what happened, babe. Anyone would be scared. I know you've got Danny," he started, and though he had no right to feel jealous, especially when he knew the guy actually cared about her, he did anyway. "But when he's not here, how about you call me? You can always come over to my place too. I can just give you the access code to my apartment and you can come over whenever. Even when I'm sleeping, I really don't give a fuck. Whenever. Alright?"
Midge WildeShe smiled at his words, at the feeling of his hands on her, at the closeness and safety she felt with him, leaning herself back against the wall behind her. “I know I can call you, it’s not that. I want to be able to be alone not be afraid. I don’t want to feel so pathetic all the time.” Midge let out a small laugh, shaking her head, “And what happens when I show up and there’s another girl in your bed, am I supposed to crawl in the middle?”
nate puckerman"Alright, well. You're not pathetic. It's gonna take some time to not feel like this and that's alright. No one's staring at you expecting you to have your shit together. I know your brother isn't, Danny isn't and I sure as hell don't." He laughed when Midge mentioned that another girl might be in his bed, and to be honest.. He didn't even think of that, mostly because he wasn't one for letting people stay the night. Nate took Midge's hand and led her to her couch, sitting his back against the arm rest and motioning for her to get comfortable in between his legs. He wrapped his arms around her, leaned over and kissed her collarbone. "Nah, you know me. I'm not a 'stay the night' kind of guy. I'm more a 'get the fuck outta here' guy but in a nice way. A gentle nudge, if you feel me."
Midge WildeShe wanted to argue that she was expecting herself to have her shit together, but she decided not to. She’d spent her whole life afraid of her father, this wasn’t anything new, it was just a new level of fear that she had to adjust to. She followed where he lead, settling against him and laying her head against his chest. She tilted her head to look up at him, a smirk on her lips, “I don’t know, babe, you might have a warped perception of yourself, I don’t think you’ve ever kicked me out of your bed, in fact, I can recall quite a few times where you asked me to stay the night. I suppose you’re going to tell me that’s just because I’m special?”
nate puckermanNate looked down at Midge and was taken aback, as always, by how fucking beautiful she was. He laughed when she mentioned that he'd never kicked her out and wondered if she would ever realize how exactly he looked at her. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you are special. The fuck? Don't you realize that? You ever see me going to these other girl's apartments and saying no to fucking them because I know they're upset?" He looked down at her, shaking his head in disbelief. "C'mon, babe. You've gotta realize you're number one, at least."
Midge WildeShe laughed softly, “Nah, you talk a big game but I think you’re secretly a softie, if another girl was upset you’d be sitting just like this with her, telling her she’s special.” Maybe that wasn’t true, not exactly, she knew him enough to know he wouldn’t ignore a girl being upset and fuck her anyways, but would he stay and tell her she was special, maybe not. “Of course I’m number one, I give better head than you even knew was possible, so no one comes before me, except for you, because you know how much I like having to beg for it.” She grinned, her hand grazing absently over his chest now, too. She felt herself relaxing more and more as they spoke, enjoying feeling so at ease with him, “You know, I like when you sleep here, too. I like waking up next to you.”
nate puckermanNate wasn't an asshole - he wouldn't just kick a girl out because she was sad or fuck her anyway, but he certainly wouldn't be holding them and telling them how special they were. He smirked when she talked about her head game because yes it was unbelievable, but this was even further proof that she had absolutely no idea what he felt for her. Nate couldn't decide if this was a good or bad thing, honestly. But he was gonna keep it that way as long as he possibly could. "You're such a bad girl, you know?" He laughed, settling one of his hands on her hip, moving her shirt just a little bit so he could feel her skin against his fingertips. "Yeah? Now I bet you say that to all that guys. Now you're trying to make me feel special, huh?"
Midge WildeMidge turned around to face him now, sitting back on her heels between his legs. “Sometimes I’m a good girl, just depends on my mood, really.” She grinned, leaning in to kiss him again. “I don’t have to worry about saying it or not, most guys aren’t allowed through the front door,” she paused, raising an eyebrow at her own words, “or the back door either, before you ask,” she grinned, “I only let the special ones come home with me, and I certainly don’t let just anyone show up unannounced and cuddle on my couch with me instead of fucking me so I can talk about my feelings.”
nate puckermanEven though Midge was calling him special, he knew that he wasn't the only guy that got this treatment from her. But Nate stayed quiet instead and tugged her close so he could kiss her, smile playing on his lips. "Damn, so.. If you're special to me and I'm special to you.. Sounds like you should let me through your back door," he teased, settling his hands on her thighs. She was so fucking clueless, honestly. "Seriously, though. I'm glad you trust me enough for all of that. I hope you know I'm always gonna be around to cuddle on your couch and talk about your feelings." Nate quirked an eyebrow, sliding his hands up to her waist. He really couldn't keep his hands off of her. "And to fuck you, of course."
Midge WildeHer eyebrows raised at his comment, she tilted her head to the side, “I thought you’d never ask,” she whispered against his lips, a short laugh escaping her. She kissed him fully now, her hands cupping his face as she did, hoping he knew how much she appreciated his presence. She finally pulled away, turning back around so she could settle into him again. “Tell me more about this shitty sex you had earlier, what happened?”
nate puckermanNate lost himself in the kiss for a moment, wondering if Midge actually had meant it. It wasn't something they'd ever talked about, but he was certainly interested in exploring that with her. After she turned around, he wrapped his arms around her to bring her closer. He laughed when she asked about the shitty sex and shrugged. "I don't know. She was clearly really enjoying herself, and I mean, yeah.. I got off. Like it was just okay. You know what I mean? Y'know how with us, we can't get enough of each other? How I can't get enough of you? Polar fucking opposite of that. I mean, I think she wanted more of me, but nah. It just wasn't clicking for me. She was hot too, so I don't know what's up with me."
Midge Wilde“Did she dead fish you or something?” She laughed, feeling bad that his night had been a dud. She’d had nights of her own like that, the sex was fine but that was all it was, and when it was done it was done and she had no need for more. That was never the case with Nate, she wasn’t sure there was ever a time they’d been together where they hadn’t gone multiple rounds, where she hadn’t craved more of him, or where he’d been able to keep his hands off of her. They had intense sexual chemistry, and it was more than that, there was such deep friendship between them, there was never a moment when they didn’t want each other. “Sometimes it’s just not there,” she sighed, her fingers drawing lazy circles on each of his knees, “Did you let her down easy, at least?”
nate puckermanJust sitting here like this was something that Nate didn't do with anybody but Midge, and it just felt good. Yeah, having sex with her was great, but this was just as good. Just talking to her and being with her. Nate couldn't remember the last time he'd felt that about someone. "Yeah, of course. You know I'm not an asshole. I did the whole 'oh shit, my boy just texted me and I gotta go' but I made it super convincing. What she doesn't need to know is I came to your place afterwards," he laughed. "I'm sure she'll be fine. She's probably telling her friends it was the best night of her life."
Midge WildeShe laughed again, “I’d tease you for being full of yourself but you’re probably right, and she’s probably not lying, it probably was the best night of her life.” Midge turned on her side now, so she could still relax but meet his eyes, too. “You wanna spend the night?” She asked, her eyes steady on his when she asked, there was no hidden meaning behind her words, wether spending the night meant fucking or not, she didn’t know or care, she just knew she didn’t want him to leave.
nate puckerman"You're damn straight it was," he grinned, knowing he knew exactly how to treat a woman right. Most dudes couldn't even find the clit correctly, which was just embarrassing. He looked down at her and nodded. "Yeah, I'll stay the night." He brushed Midge's hair out of her face, admiring her for a moment. It was kinda stupid how his heart felt when she looked up at him, but he really couldn't help himself. "Have you eaten? Should I order something to eat?"
Midge Wilde “Mmmm, food sounds great,” she smiled up at him, “I don’t suppose you’re interested in pizza?” She asked, a small pout on her face, hoping to win him over.
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So what would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud || Zach & Midge
WHO: @zachwilde, @mir-iamwilde
WHERE: Immy and Zach's House
WHEN: The 5th of November
WHY: Zach and Midge discuss Midge's plan with Aaron, and what happened on Halloween with Danny.
WARNINGS: Mentions of violence, abuse, religion, and murder. Zach suffers a panic attack.
zach wilde Zach loved when it was just him and Malea. The fact that Immy had trusted him enough to take care of her on his own, and the fact that Malea liked him enough to spend one on one time with him. They'd been coloring and watching cartoons together when Midge walked through the front door. "Hey!" Zach greeted happily, immediately looking her over to see if there were any noticeable bruises on her. He relaxed when there weren't any, and got up to greet her. He wrapped his arms around Midge, kissing her on the top of the head. "You remember Midge, Malea? Say hi!" He waited for what Malea was going to do, and she looked up and sighed. "I'm still coloring, Zachy," she told them, and Zach laughed. "You're so right, I'm sorry, bug." They turned to Midge, voice lower now: "What's up? Is everything okay?"
Midge WildeMaking her way to Immy's house, or - Zach and Immy's house, she felt her nerves building. She knew Zach wasn't going to like this conversation, that they were going to worry about her, but she couldn't keep doing so many things behind their back. She'd promised to tell him what her plan was on Halloween, and she needed to follow through. Midge barged through the door, kicking it shut behind her, wondering if Immy was there to be annoyed by her, but was disappointed when she saw it was just Zach and the kid. At least Han was there to greet her.
Midge hugged Zach back, relaxing against them, and couldn't help but to let out a laugh at Malea's words. She could respect a girl with an attitude, "Yeah, don't be so rude, Zachy." She teased, nudging them with her arm. Midge nodded at their question, and gestured towards the next room, "Maybe we should talk in here?" She said, taking a seat at the kitchen table, "Are you doing okay?" She asked, biting her lip, knowing that they'd likely need to discuss both Aaron and Danny, and she wasn't sure how either would go.
zach wilde"I'm gonna talk to Midge, okay?" Zach told Malea, but she was far too busy with coloring to really care what they were saying. He laughed and then made his way to the kitchen. Zach grabbed two glasses and filled them up with water, setting them down on the table and joined her. As much as he liked a visit from Midge, he knew that there must be something going on. He wondered if she knew that Danny put his hands on him, and still was going back and forth with deciding if he should even tell her or not.
"I'm okay," they nodded, tilting their head to the side, a little confused. Why was she asking if they were okay? "Are you? I love that you're here, Midgie, but I'm kind of confused. Is there something going on? Nothing happened with Aaron, did it?" They couldn't help themselves, they looked over Midge again, making sure there weren't any bruises they'd missed the first look over.
Midge WildeMidge felt herself flinch under their gaze. She knew Zach only cared that she was okay, but she didn't like feeling like she was being inspected. Instead, she brushed them off, stretching her neck up so they could have a clear view, letting a small laugh escape her, "You want to see my stomach, too, make sure there's nothing hidden anywhere else?" She teased, reaching out to squeeze their hand gently.
"No, nothing happened with Aaron, but I just ...I didn't really get to explain on Halloween, but I think there's a way that maybe I can get him out of our lives." She bit her lip, feeling her nerves pick up again, "But I need you to tell me it's okay to do this, because if you tell me not to, I won't." Midge took in a deep breath, "I think all these years, Dad has been stealing money from the church, I think I can get proof, and from what I'm seeing, he could go to jail for a really long time. But...I have to be able to prove it."
zach wildeZach frowned. "I'm sorry. Ever since you told me what happened with dad, I've just.. I've been having a lot of bad dreams. I can't stop thinking about it," his voice was quieter on the last sentence, but he squeezed her hand back. He wouldn't tell her that he was constantly plagued with the anxiety that Aaron would show up and do even worse to her.
They were immediately locked into what Midge was saying, brows furrowing in confusion. Everything made sense when Midge commented on Aaron stealing money from the church. Zach couldn't help his laugh. Of course the good Christian man was stealing money from Pacific Grace. Of course he was. But Midge being the one to uncover it... "Midgie.." they finally said, shaking their head. "I'll be the first one to say I want Aaron to go to jail. He deserves it. But.. Are you being careful? What if he catches on? What then?"
Midge WildeShe regretted telling Zach what had really happened with Aaron. As much as they deserved to know, and she knew she should have told them, she regretted the worry it was causing them. Midge frowned at their words, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, but I promise, he’s been fine at work, he wouldn’t let anyone think less of him by treating me badly in front of anyone. You don’t have to worry about it.” She knew that would likely be little comfort, but she hoped it helped enough.
She was surprised how well he took her news, of course he was worried, but she expected that. “Well, he’ll have to find out eventually, but I’ve got time to prepare for that. As far as him catching on, he won’t. I’m not doing anything, I’m not stopping him or anything like that, just making records and I’m not keeping them there. They’ve got it all set up as this fake charity, they put a set amount in it each month as a donation but it doesn’t exist, it just goes to dad and I’m guess Al gets a cut. So as long as I keep putting money in there he won’t notice anything. At first I thought I’d try to tell him we needed to diversify our donations and wanted to set up other places to donate to, but I realized that would raise too many questions when he got mad at me and he’d suspect I knew something. So I’m just playing dumb. It’s easy, he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else already, so he just assumes I’m still just naive little Miriam and he’s too proud to question that.”
zach wildeZach sighed, and then looked out to the living room to make sure Malea was still doing okay. She was talking to herself and he gave a small smile. He turned back to Midge, unsure. As much as he wanted Aaron to go down, having his sister be the one to do it made him nervous.
"Midge, I know you think he's stupid. He is in a lot of ways, and I'm gonna be the first one to admit that. But he's also really smart in other ways. He's a fucking master manipulator, okay?" Zach let out a shaky sigh. They weren't sure if this was the best idea, and they felt the pressure in their chest that told them they were getting anxious. Zach stood up from the table and paced back and forth. "I don't know. Like I said, I'm the first one to say he deserves to go to jail. But on the other hand, I don't know what the hell he'd do to you if he found out before you could do anything." Actually, Zach had a pretty good idea - Aaron would most likely try to kill her. Or at least get close to it. There were a few times when Zach had been younger, that he was sure that's exactly what he was trying to do to them. While their siblings understood the kind of man he was now, they never really knew exactly how bad it got. Tears filled Zach's eyes and he balled his hands into fists. "I can't have anything else happen to you."
Midge WildeShe knew everything he was saying was true, it wasn’t anything she hadn’t thought herself. It didn’t matter though, she needed to do this. She could understand why Zach wouldn’t want her to, why they would worry and want her safe, but she wasn’t going to be deterred. She knew she’d said she needed them to tell her it was okay, but she was realizing that wasn’t true, she couldn’t walk away from this. “I don’t think he’s stupid, I promise you, he may be underestimating me, but I won’t make that same mistake with him.” She said, hoping to reassure them. She felt a chill run down her spine when they mentioned not knowing what Aaron would do to her. What had happened already wasn’t nearly as bad as what she knew Aaron was capable of, when it came to protecting his reputation, he would go much further. “Well, if I end up dead he could go to jail for that, too.” She teased, though she knew that joke was in poor taste, and Zach would never be amused by it. “Look, I’m being as careful as I can be. I can’t promise everything is going to be fine, but I can’t promise to keep you updated and to stop if I think he’s catching on. And I can promise to keep myself as safe as possible. Danny stays with me most nights, honestly, so he’s not going to catch me home alone again at least.”
zach wildeThough it was a joke, Midge saying that if she ended up dead Aaron would go to jail really got to Zach. He couldn't even listen to the rest of what she'd been saying and completely turned away from her. He didn't want Malea to see him like this. Zach sucked in a deep breath, feeling his hands shaking. The anxiety that had been bubbling up came completely to the surface and he couldn't handle it - he felt like he couldn't breathe. Zach quickly made his way to the back door and immediately tried to take in a big breath.
It all hit them just then - everything. Everything that had been happening, and it was because of Aaron. Zach slid to the ground and a sob immediately felt like it ripped out of their throat. Tears were spilling and quite honestly, they weren't even aware of it. The thought that Aaron could kill her was the only thing on their mind, and the fact that they couldn't do anything to stop it. Zach had tried to not let their siblings see this side of them, and honestly, it'd been awhile since they'd had a full on panic attack. They were gasping for breath and pulled their knees to their chest, just trying to calm themselves down.
Midge WildeShe watched as Zach seemed to fall apart in front of her. She didn’t know what to do at first, but as they slid to the ground, guilt filled her completely. She grabbed their water and came outside behind them, shutting the door but leaving it cracked so they could hear Malea is she needed them. “Okay, I’m sorry,” she said softly, taking the cold water and pressing the cold container to their cheek, then the other, and then the back of their neck. “Just try to take a deep breath, okay. Smell the flowers, blow out the candles, right? Isn’t that what they say?” She felt herself panicking too, but knew she needed to stay calm if she was going to help Zach at all. Midge sat on her knees in front of them, her hands resting over theirs. “Just breathe, okay?” She repeated, not knowing what else to say, before resuming moving the water around to try and cool them, hoping to reset their nervous system.
zach wildeIt took a second for Zach to recognize that Midge was next to him, but when he felt her hands in his own he finally looked up. His eyes were full of tears and he hated getting like this, especially because both Midge and Malea were around. They let her run the water around him, the coolness of it starting to distract him. His therapist had told him several different ways to calm down from a panic attack, but it was always hard to actually do it when he was in it. Zach breathed just as Midge told him, the tears still falling but not as quickly as before. After a few minutes of silence, they finally spoke up again. "Fuck, I'm.. I'm really sorry. That happens sometimes," he explained, holding Midge's hand in his own, squeezing it tightly. "Please don't joke about that ever again. Okay?"
Midge WildeMidge nodded at their words, relieved that they seemed a bit more calm now. “I won’t.” She whispered, lending forward to hug them. “Besides, I don’t want to die, there’s way too many dicks out there left to be sucked by the two hottest Wilde’s and you’re dick sucking days are over, so I guess it’s all up to me.” She knew that that joke wasn’t likely to make them feel any better but at least it might distract them from the anxiety. They could be annoyed at her all they wanted. “And don’t apologize, at least you give a shit about me, it’s more than I can say for him.” She said, not feeling a need to elaborate on who she meant.
zach wildeZach's head immediately snapped up when Midge started talking about... sucking dick. "What the fuck?" Zach said, staring at her because the absurdity of it all. "Why the hell would you..." He trailed off, not wanting to think about that particular subject when it had to do with his sister. Despite himself, he laughed just because what the fuck. They pulled Midge in for a tighter hug again, resting their forehead on her shoulder. "You're fucking crazy but I love you. I just want you to be safe, okay?
Midge WildeShe couldn’t fight her grin when they swore, letting them hug her, more than happy to hug back. “I know, Zachy.” She smiled, pulling away again, and then standing, her hands held out to him to pull him up as well. “I love you, too. And I have so many years of driving you insane to look forward to, so I’ll be safe, I promise.” She sighed, “I do want you to be okay with this, though. I’m going to do it, but I want you to be okay with it.”
zach wildeZach wasn't completely okay with it, but because she was going to do it anyway, he knew that there was nothing that he could say. She wanted his support, and that's exactly what she'd get. Zach let Midge help her up and stood up, making his way back into the kitchen to check on Malea. She was fine, of course. "I'm okay with it. Can you update me on everything, please? Just everything that you can. You know I'm going to drive myself crazy just thinking about it."
Midge Wilde“You want a code word?” She asked, sitting back down in her seat, completely serious. “Like if things aren’t okay and I need help but he’s there and I can’t say it, I can say ‘banana pudding’ or something, I don’t know. Like if I call you and start talking about dessert and ask if you like banana pudding then you know somethings wrong.” She didn’t know why things like this came to her mind, but here she was. “Or anything, you pick. That way if something is wrong, I can tell dad that I need to call you because you’re expecting me and if you don’t hear from me you’ll worry, he can listen to the call and then I can signal to you that I need help without him knowing.”
zach wilde"Banana pudding works," Zach nodded. "I like that. I just want to be able to know that there's something that I can do to help you. Thank you for letting me know and having this open line of communication with me, Midge. Even if I did freak out a little bit," they laughed, still wiping their face, feeling like it was still wet from the tears. "I really hope that it doesn't come to that, but yeah. Banana pudding works. He'll just think you're being a good woman who wants to cook his oldest son food," he rolled his eyes.
Midge WildeShe nodded, hopeful that this could make them both feel a bit safer. She sat back in her chair, relaxing for a second as she debated if she wanted to keep this conversation going or not. “Zach,” she finally said, knowing that they were likely to get upset again, but she didn’t want anything hanging over them anymore. “Danny told me about what happened on Halloween between you and him.”
zach wildeZach sighed and sat back down in the chair. He was a little impressed that Danny had actually said anything to her, but he was still pissed off about the whole thing. "Did he?" Zach questioned, trying to stay level-headed. After everything Immy had said, they understood Danny wasn't a bad guy, but it definitely wasn't someone he wanted to be with her. "Just so I'm clear. What did he exactly say what happened?"
Midge WildeShe could sense the tension rising in the room and wondered if she’d made a huge mistake bringing it up, “He said you told him you didn’t think he was good enough for me and that he grabbed you.” She sighed, boiling it down the basic gist of what had happened. “He said he got angry and took things to a physical place and that you walked away, he didn’t try to blame it on you or anything like that.”
zach wilde"Actually, I said that he doesn't deserve you after he put his hands on me. He was talking about you in a disrespectful way to me, which - what the fuck? That was already upsetting enough. Then I said that you said he's not what people think, but I was starting to think that's not true. That's when he came up to me and grabbed my dress and pulled me close to him and got in my face." Zach told her, hoping that she understood that he didn't just walk up to Danny and start saying that shit to him. "I was just asking him his intentions with you to begin with."
Midge Wilde“He shouldn’t have said anything like that to you,” she said, almost tempted to ask what he said, but she’d ask Danny for more detail later, she wanted to hear it from him. “I know,” she said, reaching forward to squeeze their hand. “I told him that it was fucked up, that that’s what big brothers say to guys that are hanging around their baby sisters, and how it wasn’t okay that he grabbed you. I’m not here to make excuses for him, or to apologize for him, he should do that himself, I just wanted you to know that I knew. And that I appreciate you care enough to talk to him.” She sighed, “Everything is just so fucked up. I know you probably have feelings about me spending time with him after that, but right now I need him, and he needs me. I’m sorry.”
zach wilde"I'm not about to sit here and argue with you about the guy that you have feelings for, I just want you to know that I don't like him for you. Maybe it's good right now and it's fulfilling something for you and that's great, but I don't think this is the guy, is all I'm saying. You're probably gonna roll your eyes and think I'm being overprotective, but I dunno, I just think a guy who's willing to put his hands on the brother of the girl he's sleeping with.. or whatever it is that you guys are doing.. after what you're going through? Not right." Zach squeezed her hand. "I love you, and I know that you're gonna do whatever you want. That's alright."
Midge WildeShe squeezed their hand back, shaking her head at their words, “I’m not rolling my eyes, I don’t think you’re being overprotective, I get it, Zach. Like I said, I’m not making excuses for him, he shouldn’t have done it.” She sighed, shrugging a shoulder, “I love you, too. Danny makes me feel safe right now, and I need that. I know he fucked up, and I get what you’re saying, but I need that, I need to feel safe.”
zach wilde"Good. I'm glad you have somewhere you can feel safe, but..." He trailed off, sighing. "You feel safe other places too, right? Other people? And when I say other people, I do mean other people, but I kinda also mean me. You feel safe with me, right?" They paused. "Trust me, I know it's different. I just wanna make sure that you've got more than one person that you can feel that with. AKA your big brother."
Midge WildeShe let their words settle, wondering for a moment if that was something they really questioned, because to her it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Zach, there’s no one in the world that feels safer than you. You’ve always been where I’ve felt safest. But..” she trailed off, her eyes glancing into the other room for a moment before meeting theirs again, “ You have other people that need you to keep them safe now. That’s not-…I’m not trying to be passive aggressive or anything, I mean it genuinely, they need you now, and that’s how it should be, you can’t keep being everything for everyone. You have to let me find my own way to be safe.”
zach wildeZach nodded because he knew Midge was right. She was old enough, and he always held onto the fact that he needed to take care of her. But she could make those choices for herself, and it was about time he stopped questioning that. "Okay, yeah. I know. You're right. I've got Immy and Malea, but I want you to know that doesn't make me worry about you any less. Or want to take care of you any less. But.. Yeah, I get it."
Midge Wilde“I know, but that’s because you’re the best. Sometimes I think Dad was born without a heart and you were born with a big enough one for both of you.”
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Aren't you scared? Well, that's just fine. || DAMIDGE
WHO: @dannyssylvester, @mir-iamwilde
WHERE: Midge's Apartment
WHEN: The 31st of October, before and then after the halloween party
WHY: Danny and Midge get ready for the party, then come back to Midge's afterwards. Danny shares some personal information, and then Midge gets vulvernable.
WARNINGS: Mentions of kidnapping, violence, religion. Sex, NSFW
Midge WildeStepping out of the shower, Midge was kind of excited for her costume. She knew she was going to look great in it, but it was surprisingly low maintenance for her. She didn't even have to blow dry her hair, just brush and braid it. Which is exactly what she decided to do first as she stepped out of the bathroom and into her bedroom, still wrapped in her towel as she sat down at the chair in front of her mirror and began brushing her hair. "You know," She said, turning to Danny, "You could have joined me in there, I wouldn't have minded." She teased, winking over at him as she began to put her hair into a french braid.
Danny SylvesterIt was Halloween already, never Danny's thing, but he liked to dress up hot whenever he could so this definitely counted. He'd got his pants on so far, and pulled on his shirt but hadn't buttoned it up yet. Too busy getting distracted by the very gorgeous woman who's house he was in. "I know," He replied as Midge came back into the bedroom. "But I didn't want us to be late, we would have definitely got sidetracked." Even though he said that, he still stood up and placed a kiss onto Midge's shoulder, before moving to look at his accessories for his costume. "I feel like this is going to come in handy tonight." Danny waved his whip at her, a smirk on his face.
Midge WildeMidge grinned at his answer, letting her fingers tangle into his hair when he kissed her shoulder, "Babe, it's a party, not a wedding, you don't have to show up on time." She grinned, standing when she'd finished her hair to look at what he was holding. Midge walked over to where he stood, her hands adventuring to his abs, enjoying his open shirt. "I'm confused," She said, her face innocent as she met his eyes, "What could you possibly use that for?" She bit her lip as she tilted her head, as if trying to understand, "Maybe I need a demonstration..."
Danny Sylvester"Well in that case." Danny muttered and pulled Midge into a kiss as she began to touch him. He quickly pulled back and grinned at her. "A demonstration? I don't know... Are you sure you don't want to go straight to the party?" But he unfurled the whip and wrapped it around Midge's back to pulled her closer and kiss her hard. "If you want a full demonstration you'll have to get on the bed. And then I'd tie you up and then eat you out, but not let you come, just leave you hanging and keep teasing you, but you can't touch yourself." He nipped at her bottom lip. "And maybe I have a few other ideas too."
Midge WildeMidge let her eyes slide closed when he spoke, the images running through her mind caused her to let out a soft moan as her hips ground slightly against his on instinct. “Please,” she whispered, her hands still roaming his upper body. She couldn’t seem to resist him and didn’t care how long it took to get to the party, “You can’t tell me something like that and then leave me hanging, baby.” She said, her fingers tangling into his hair, not caring that her towel was coming loose around her on its own, “I need follow through.”
Danny SylvesterDanny just chuckled and brushed his lips gently against hers, teasing her. "Are you sure? Everyone will be waiting for us at the bar." He looked down to see that Midge's towel was starting to come off and he reached forward to pull it away from her body, mouth watering at what he saw. "We have all the time in the world after the party though." And he pressed hot kisses to her neck. "And at the party."
Midge WildeShe couldn't explain how much she didn't care about anyone who was waiting for them, but she could tell that Danny did, and she could wait. Waiting was half the fun. Midge laughed as he pulled her towel away, letting her arms rise up at her sides as she turned around to give him the full view. "All the time in the world, huh? You promise? Because I want you to take your time tonight." She grinned, her fingers tangling into his hair, "I think I might make you wait until after, maybe tonight at the party you can look but you don't get to touch, what do you think about that?"
Danny SylvesterAs she turned around and showed off her body to him, Danny smirked and slapped her ass lightly before she turned back around. "Oh don't worry, I will take my time tonight, if you're a good girl that is." He leant down to peck her lips a few times before pulling back. "You know you drive me crazy when you tease me. But I like the sound of that challenge honestly." His hands soon found their way back to her ass. "Not gonna lie though I'm going to be staring at your ass all night baby."
______________________________ Midge WildeComing home from the party, she hadn’t really had the fun time she’d envisioned. It wasn’t that she’d had a bad time, but the night seemed to feel heavier and heavier as it went on, and by the time she found her way back to Danny, she was just ready to leave and be alone with him. After hearing about his fight with Zach, the last bit of her energy seemed to drain out of her and she was ready to just sink into him. Entering her apartment she made her way straight to the fridge for some water, before turning to warp her arms Danny’s neck, her free hand tangling into his hair before removing his hat and placing it on her own head instead. Midge gave him a soft kiss, “Thanks for coming home with me.”
Danny SylvesterWhere he thought he was going to have a really fun time tonight with Midge and win the couples costume contest, but that certainly didn't happen. It was a bad time all around, with weird conversations and an almost fist fight, caused by him of course, and now he just felt slightly deflated. But luckily there was one little light in his life right now, Midge was still here. She was a good distraction, and was all over him straight away. Smiling softly as she put his hat on, he kissed her gently. "Thanks for inviting me back. Means a lot."
Midge WildeShe frowned, knowing his night hadn’t been great, not that hers had been either, but she wanted so badly to see him smiling like he usually did. She placed kisses along his jawline, “Baby, come here,” she whispered, taking his hands to lead him to the couch. She gently pushed him down on the couch before straddling him. Instead of rushing to take their clothes off like she normally would though, laid herself down on top of him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “You wanna tell me what’s on your mind?”
Danny SylvesterHe couldn't deny it, but Danny melted every time she called him baby. With a small smile, he let her lead him to the couch and he sat down. As she straddled him, he did expect it to be the start to sex, so he was definitely surprised when she wanted him to talk. "I'm sorry I ruined our night." He frowned and sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know, I just... You mean a lot to me, you know that right? I've never felt a connection with anyone like this before." And he looked deep in her eyes, trying to convey everything he felt. "But you don't know the real me. And I think we need to change that."
Midge Wilde“You didn’t ruin anything, my night still looks pretty good,” she smiled, gesturing to them sitting together on the couch. She nodded when he said she meant a lot to him, though she tried to deny it to herself, she knew whatever this was with Danny was deeper than just great sex, it was deeper than anything she’d felt. Midge frowned as he continued, anxiety spiking in her chest at his words, “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”
Danny SylvesterHis smile was soft, and so was the kiss and he leant up to press his lips to her. Danny could see that Midge was getting a little tense, so he reached up and held onto her arms, rubbing them to sooth her. "Sorry that did sound a little ominous." He swallowed a lump in his throat and took another deep breath. "This is going to sound crazy, I can't deny that, it took me a while to wrap my head around it." With a sigh, he got himself settled better on the couch. "Originally I was led to believe that I was adopted by Sue Sylvester. But I wasn't. I was kidnapped. You ever hear the story about Daniel Schuester? The baby that got kidnapped, that's me. And I have been living a lie my whole life and it is eating me alive."
Midge WildeShe sat up as he spoke, trying not to show her disbelief on her face. For a moment, she sat silently, just trying to take in what he'd just said. "What?" She finally spoke, her voice so low she didn't know if he'd even hear it. She wasn't sure if this was some kind of Halloween prank, or what, but she also couldn't imagine why Danny would come up like a story like this. "What?" She repeated, finally meeting his eyes, "How is that possible? You said originally you were lead to believe, so when did you find this all out?"
Danny SylvesterDanny just nodded slowly, his face sad. "Yeah... yeah it's true, it's all real." He rested his head against the back of the couch as he reflected back on bad memories. "About twelve years ago." And he shook his head. "I had been at home searching for my birth certificate and instead found lots of information about the real me and what happened... I flipped out, asked Sue and she confirmed it, and then I ran. That was my biggest mistake and regret. I left and didn't tell my siblings anything. Disappeared for twelve years and turned up like two months ago because I decided to tell them the truth." He finally looked at her now. "I'd been through so much shit and had just given up, I needed to come home."
Midge WildeShe didn’t know what to say, and instead just stared at him. She should have had a million questions, but her mind was blank, just trying to take in what he was saying. “What kind of shit?” She finally asked, wanting to make sure he knew he could tell her everything. “What about your birth parents, do they know?”
Danny SylvesterThe first question had caught him off guard and he paused. "I got arrested a few times, Sue bailed me out and then after the second time she said she wouldn't any more. So the third time I was in jail for just over three years." She was the first person he'd actually explained this too other than Penny. "Then after I was released I struggled to get a job and I ended up homeless for two years." Danny's brows furrowed deep. "That was hard. Really hard. I thought I was going to die, I was really ill at one point." Then he shook his head. "That doesn't matter though. And no they don't, I'm just trying to get to know my siblings a little better first."
Midge WildeHe had mentioned some of his past to her before on their date, how it was difficult to get a job because of it, but he hadn’t provided as many details. Staring at him, she ran her fingers through his hair, hoping to be some kind of comfort, “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.” She whispered, “I hope you know that that never has to happen again, you’re stuck with me now, so you’ve always got a place to stay, okay? And someone to bail you out.” Midge sighed, leaning forward to give him a soft kiss, “I think that’s smart, I can’t imagine what navigating all of this has been like for you, baby, but just know I’m here for you, okay? Whatever happens, whatever you decide to do, I’m going to be here, okay?”
Danny SylvesterAs Midge ran her fingers through his hair, Danny sighed and leant into her touch. "It's okay." He muttered, the only thing he had the energy to do was shrug. Her words sunk in and he looked over at her, unable to find the right words to say, so he just nodded, many thoughts and feelings overwhelming him. He knew that Penny would never kick him out, but to know he had another place to stay if he needed it just made the heaviness in his chest ease slightly. "Why are you so good to me?" He asked against her lips, desperate to kiss her. "Penny is friends with some of them so I can go to her for help with telling them." Danny tried a small smile and nodded. "I know. Thank you."
Midge WildeBecause you deserve to be treated well.” She said, her voice serious, her answer matter of fact. Midge nodded, she wanted to listen for as long as he wanted to talk, but she also wanted to feel close to him, closer than she felt right now. She wanted to try and make his night better, to show him that she cared about him in the only way she really knew how, so she leaned forward again, kissing him as her hands cupped his face. She deepened the kiss, knowing that if he needed to talk more he would. Still she pulled away to rest her forehead against his, “You deserve so much better than what you’ve been given, baby.” She whispered, her hands roaming his body now as she placed kisses along his jawline, “I want to give you everything you deserve.”
Danny Sylvester"I don't." Danny replied, his voice barely a whisper so he wasn't sure whether she'd hear him or not. But then they were kissing again, and this time he allowed himself to get lost in it. As their foreheads rested together, he sighed, Midge was trying her best to cheer him up and he just kept pushing her away. Reaching up, he took his hat off her head and threw it aside so he could run his fingers through her hair. He didn't say another word, and just pressed his lips desperately against hers.
Midge WildeShe deepened the kiss, just wanting him. She didn’t feel the need to try and impress him, or make stupid comments, she just wanted to be as close to him as she could get. She sat up, just enough to take her top off, before moving closer again, her lips leaving a trail down his neck as she unbuttoned his shirt, allowing her fingers to trail along his bare skin as she went. “Danny,” she whispered, meeting his eyes again. “Take me to the bed.” It wasn’t that they couldn’t have sex on the couch, but it didn’t feel intimate enough tonight, she wanted more than just to be fucked by him, though she couldn’t put what she wanted into words, it felt like it needed a bed, and a closeness that the couch didn’t offer.
Danny SylvesterHe smiled as she pulled back to take her shirt off, letting his eyes roam over her upper body. His hands moved to cup her breasts, squeezing gently and then moving away so she could unbutton his shirt. Pressing his lips against hers again, he grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him on his lap. But as Midge spoke, Danny looked at her and nodded, glad that she felt the same as he did. He didn't want to fuck her today, he wanted to spend some intimate time with her. Hooking his arms under her legs, Danny scooped her into his arms and picked her up, carrying her to her room, and gently placing her on her bed.
Midge WildeShe held onto him as he carried her, and then pulled him down on top of her when he laid her down. Midge began kissing him again, pushing his shirt off his shoulders now and down his arms. “Danny, I-…” she started to say something she was sure to regret, but the words love you almost tumbled out of her mouth without a thought. She didn’t know if it was even possible for her to be in love with anyone, but she did love Danny, as a person she loved him, but she couldn’t say that, not when they were about to have sex, not when she wasn’t even sure how she meant it. “I need you, baby.” She whispered, trying to cover up for her almost slip as she kissed along his jaw again.
Danny SylvesterHe was pulled down on top of her and he grinned into the kiss. Midge had definitely made him feel better by just being her, but he couldn't deny that sex would help too. But it was different, with Midge, even though he didn't feel like he was worthy of what she said to him, she did make everything better. His heart was thumping hard in his chest as he took a moment to look down at her. What was this? He had never been this soft and intimate with anyone like this before. So why Midge? Why was she different? She spoke and he nodded again at her request, kissing her once more. "I'm right here baby, I'm not going anywhere." And he tilted his head so she could kiss his jaw.
Midge WildeShe let his words echo through her, but didn’t say anything back. She didn’t need to, she just let the sounds they made fill the room instead. Midge reached down to undo her shorts, pulling them down with her panties and then kicked them the rest of the way off, leaving herself completely naked. She wasted no time moving to his pants, undoing them and pushing them down, leaving the rest to him to kick off. Midge kissed him again, her hands wrapping around his shoulders as she pulled him closer. She didn’t want all of the games and the teasing they usually had, she just wanted him as close to her as he possibly could be.
Danny SylvesterAs Midge took her clothes off and lay there naked in front of him, Danny pressed his lips to wherever he could on her body, feeling himself getting hard. Then his pants were coming off and he dragged his boxers down his legs before throwing them to the floor. They were pressed so closely together and he rolled his hips against her as they kissed. Danny reached down to stroke himself a few times before he pulled back from the kiss to look at her. "You ready?" He whispered softly.
Midge WildeShe let out a soft moan at the feeling of Danny's hips rolling into hers. Midge nodded, when he asked if she was ready, "Yeah, I'm ready." She whispered, letting herself relax back against the bed, her legs spreading to make sure he had plenty of room. She didn't know what this was, why this felt so different, but she felt like they were on the brink of something. Standing at the edge of a cliff that they were trying not to tumble over, and yet she also wanted to leap.
Danny SylvesterDanny gave her one last kiss before he lined himself up and slowly pushed in. He let out a soft gasp at the feeling and moved his head down to press his forehead against hers as he began to slowly rock his hips back and forth. Danny certainly wasn't used to this level of intimacy, it was soft and gentle, but honestly right now he wouldn't change it for anything, he wanted to be with Midge like this. Something had changed between them, but he just didn't know what. He moaned deeply as he pushed himself in further, but didn't get any quicker.
Midge WildeShe let out another moan at the feeling of him filling her, her hips rocking toward him in rhythm with his own. The pace he set was slow but it felt incredible, every movement felt magnified. Midge brought her hands up to cup his cheek with one, the other finding its way into his hair. She didn’t try to hide the moans that were escaping her with each thrust he made. Midge wanted to close her eyes, get lost in this feeling completely, but met Danny’s eyes instead. Everything felt so intimate, and she didn’t want to run from that for once. She didn’t know if he felt the same way, if he felt the same connection she was, but in the moment it didn’t matter, all that mattered was being there together. “Tell me something,” she whispered, longing to hear something that told her this was more than just in her head, that he could see the real her, that he thought she was beautiful, that he felt as vulnerable as she did in this moment, anything to tell her she wasn’t crazy for feeling this way.
Danny SylvesterHis eyes wanted to flutter shut as Midge ran her hand through his hair, but he kept them open needing to see all of her in this moment. There were a few soft groans from him as his pace picked up, and he pulled away so he could take a better look at her, laying there all for him and only for him. When Midge spoke, Danny's brows furrowed and he slowed himself down slightly as he stared at her. What did she want him to say? His heart was beating like crazy in his chest as he opened his mouth, he didn't want to say the wrong thing. But in the end, it came naturally to him. "You're so beautiful." And he brushed his lips against hers. "I care about you so much. I swear I do."
Midge WildeShe kept her hips moving in rhythm with his, watching him as he spoke. Midge pulled him closer so she could kiss him again. It was strange, the way she’d been naked in front of him plenty of times now, but had never felt this vulnerable, and yet, she’d also never felt this safe with anyone. Midge could feel her orgasm building already, “Baby,” she whispered, placing kisses along his jaw again, “I’m so close,” she added, her knees starting to shake a bit at the feeling. She couldn’t explain this, why she felt so exposed to him like this, she couldn’t hide behind her normal bravado and it terrified her, but Danny on top of her felt like a shield from all of the bad shit in the world that could hurt her.
Danny SylvesterHe moaned into the kiss, his rhythm picking up now as he was desperate for them both to come. His fingers traced all over her skin and moved down her body until he was gripping onto her hips. "Yeah..." Danny grunted slightly as he pushed in deeper. "Me too." He looked down at her, meeting her eyes and smiled softly. Everything he was feeling right now seemed to be amplified even more on this moment. And Danny cared about Midge so much, he knew he did, so why did this feel so different? "Come with me?" He asked, nearly at his peak. "Please come with me baby."
Midge WildeMidge nodded at his question, knowing she wouldn’t be able to hold off now even if she wanted to. She kissed him again, moaning into his mouth as she felt herself come undone, her hips rocking in rhythm with the waves of her orgasm now. She moaned again, her breathing ragged as her back arched off the bed, her toes curling into the blanket under her, and her hands grasped his arms, as if she needed to hold herself steady. Midge relaxed against the bed again as her orgasm slowed, trying to catch her breath. She didn’t want to move yet, didn’t want to lose the closeness, worried that somehow the vulnerability and the safeness of the whole thing would disappear as soon as the moment ended.
Danny SylvesterAs he saw Midge hit her peak, felt her tighten around him and heard her moan, Danny came too, his whole body shaking and feeling like it was on fire. It seemed very intense for Midge too and that spurred him on even more to keep moving his hips as they rode their orgasms out. Once they'd both came down from their high, panting hard, Danny moved down to kiss her softly, cupping her cheek. "That was incredible." He whispered and brushed his nose against hers. "Never felt anything like that before." He admitted.
Midge WildeShe let out a few shaky breaths before speaking, wanting to make sure she didn't say anything stupid. She brushed her fingers through his hair again, trying to keep herself in the moment, not let all of her fears and insecurities seep in and ruin this. "Me too." She finally whispered back, kissing him again. "Will you stay with me?" She finally asked, wanting him to spend the night, of course, but she knew that she meant that question with a deeper meaning, wondering if one day Danny would leave her, outgrow her. "I don't want to sleep alone." She added, hoping to cover up any double meaning to the question.
Danny SylvesterDanny nodded his head slowly at her request, but was confused to why she would even ask, of course he would stay with her, he'd stay forever if she asked. He pulled out slowly with a groan and dropped onto the bed next to her, gathering her into his arms. "I'm not leaving your side, I promise." Pressing a kiss to the back of her shoulder, he reached for one of her hands and tangled their fingers together. "Are you okay baby?" He whispered to her, trying to capture her lips as best as he could.
Midge WildeShe didn’t know why she let herself get so bothered all the time. They had just had a moment where everything felt so wonderful and then she had to remind herself that what goes up must come down before she even had a moment to enjoy it. But as Danny pulled her against himself she felt okay again, letting her body relax against his. She turned her head to kiss him back, then nodded. “I am now.” She whispered, “I think I just got scared for a second there, it sounds silly, I know.”
Danny Sylvester"That's good." He replied as he kissed her once more, before laying back down and moving to spoon her. Sure they'd had a lot of sex since they'd been hanging out together, but it was the moments like this that Danny felt were truly special, just the two of them together, holding each other and talking and really building a connection. He felt some sort of pounding in his chest, but he ignored it to focus on Midge. "What do you mean scared?" And he dipped his head to brush his lips against her neck. "That I'd leave?"
Midge WildeShe sighed, letting her free hand draw circles on the skin of his arm. "No," She whispered at his question, and then shrugged, "Or maybe." She didn't know what she was afraid of, she just felt like they were in a bubble that was about to pop for a minute and then he wrapped his arms around her and she felt better. She didn't know how to explain that. She let go of his hand, rolling over to face him now. "Usually it's so easy for me to be with someone physically. It's fun and it's easy and then when it's done, it's done. But when I'm with you I don't want it to just be done when it's done. I don't mean that I want to have more sex, I just..." She trailed off, her eyes wandering around the room instead of on him, trying to find the right words, "I feel like all the ways I'm usually so good at protecting myself are useless against you."
Danny SylvesterAs Midge rolled over to face him, Danny let her talk, but had a frown on his face as he listened. It didn't sound like a bad thing she was saying, but maybe it wasn't necessarily good because she seemed quite nervous and almost scared. But the other thing was that, he understood. He'd hook up with a girl and once they'd had sex he'd probably leave or just stay the night because it was convenient. With Midge his rules changed; he wanted to spend time with her, go out to dinner with her and hold her hand and buy her candy and cheer her up when she was sad. And it was terrifying. But as soon as he would look at her, that feeling in his chest and his stomach would settle. "You let your walls down around me. But I do the same, I like my walls down around you. Because I trust you, and care about you."
Midge WildeNodding at his words, she felt herself relax again. She was comforted by the way he understood her, even if the fact that they had that connection to understand her was part of what freaked her out. "Trusting someone means giving them a lot of power to hurt you." She finally said before placing a soft kiss on his lips, "I guess that's part of it, giving them the power to hurt you but trusting that they won't. And I do trust you, but then when I feel vulnerable I don't think I always trust myself, and I start thinking about..." She trailed off, trying to find the right words. "Like, just now, I was thinking that we just had this amazing moment where it felt like we were so connected, but then my first thought after was that at some point what goes up must come down, and you can't ride a high like that forever. It's like I can't just let myself enjoy something, I have to ruin it for myself, so I get scared."
Danny SylvesterDanny frowned but nodded, understanding completely. He had trusted the woman he thought was his mother, and she'd hurt him, in more ways than one, so now it was hard for him to trust anyone. But he trusted Midge as soon as he had met her, and to let her in was a huge step. "It sounds like you're getting in your own way of being happy. And I don't want you to do that, because you deserve to be happy." He leant his forehead against hers and tangled their fingers together, anything to try and comfort her. "There is bad with the good, there always will be. But you have to try and enjoy yourself and stay positive." He sighed a little, feeling deflated because he knew he wasn't really helping. "I care about you so much and I'm always going to be here, I promise you that, and I promise I'll never hurt you." Danny brushed some hair out of her face. "And you can talk to me about this and how you're feeling any time okay? I'm always here to listen to you."
Midge WildeShe nodded at his words, “I know. It’s not as dramatic as it all sounds, I just get in my head, but then when you said you were staying, I felt fine. I just need a little reassurance sometimes, I guess.” Midge kissed him, hoping he knew how much better he could make her feel just with his presence. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you in my life, and have you care about me the way you do, but I hope you know it’s mutual.”
Danny Sylvester "Then I will always reassure you Midge, whenever you need it." And Danny pulled her as close as he could as they kissed, letting her know that he was there and not leaving. "You're lucky? No way, I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He replied with a soft grin and kissed her nose. "But I know it's mutual. I struggle with accepting love and people actually liking me sometimes, but I know you care about me. You always know what to say or do to make me feel better."
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You are an old man, you're gonna have to get used to it eventually. Pretty soon all of your modeling gigs are gonna be for rogain and viagra.
What the fuck is up, PSU? Not gonna lie, they gave me the info for this site when I got accepted and I completely forgot about until now. Feels weird being twenty-eight and a Freshman. My classes are filled with eighteen year olds and I'm freaked the fuck out. They're all looking at me like I'm an old man. Me? This pretty face? Please. Speaking of this pretty face, name's Nate. Who wants to show me around campus? Or better yet, tell me the ins and outs of what it's like here. What's the go to bar for the students? The cafe on campus suck? Etc.
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I'm not a huge Christmas fan, but I think anytime is acceptable to begin celebrating if you love it. Watch Christmas movies in May if you want, there shouldn't be a time limit on your happiness.
Right, Halloween is now over which is kind of sad, I do love dressing up. However now that it is over and we're in November it is acceptable to watch Christmas Films and listen to Christmas music and decorate for Christmas now right? I know some people think December is the time to do that but how can you wait that long to do the Christmassy events and how do you watch all of the Christmas films in 25 days? Who else gets in the Christmas Spirit once it hits November 1st?
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Wait, how am I finding out about this ONLINE. This is incredible, wtf?
Crazy how time flies, because I know the last time I made a post on here was before a whole lockdown and Halloween had passed, and now I'm sitting here like, oh yeah, this place actually exists to make posts and stuff. Anyway, how's it hanging? How's it going for everyone? Anything exciting happening in everyone's lives? I gotta say, everyone looked fucking awesome last night. I'm so obsessed with all of you, you're all perfect. Oh, and in some kind of fun news, I kind of got a pretty serious e-mail talking about possibly getting Mindscapes off of YouTube and on actual television. I don't know if I'm gonna follow through with it yet, but it's still exciting. Like, little 'ol me? Mindscapes? People want that on their big screens? (Not to be confused with the movie theater, I don't think I'm that cool yet.) Anyway, just thought I'd share that tidbit because when I got the e-mail I did a little jig that was absolutely embarrassing.
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Did you end up having fun at that party? What was the couples costume supposed to be? I'm Miriam, but everyone calls me Midge. Nice to meet you.
I'll be honest: I didn't expect to be back here until Thanksgiving or maybe even Christmas, and I definitely wasn't expecting to suddenly find myself semi-living at home again on Halloween. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, of course, but it's been... well, let's just say it's been a bit of an adjustment. And it looks like I'm not the only one who thinks so because my mom quite literally just told me to "stop moping on the couch with the cat and go to that Halloween bash".
I suppose she has a point, so I'm currently putting together a very last-minute costume, as I didn't bring costume 1.0 from New York (and it was a couple's costume, so it would have been no use anyway...).
In other words: yes, hi, I'm back, and I figured I'd say hello on this website before seeing most of you (I hope!) in person again tonight! For those of you I haven't met yet: I'm Blaine Anderson and disclaimer: the mustache you'll see me with tonight is very much a fake one. Please feel free to come and say hi! I promise I don't bite.
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What do you find most attractive about someone’s body?
Okay, I know how self centered this will sound, but it's that look in their eyes they get when they look at me and just can't hide that they want me. Major turn on.
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Whom from Priv would you like to go skinny dipping with?
Who wouldn't I go skinny dipping with is probably an easier answer. If their last name is Wilde or they're under the age of 24, they're not invited. Everyone else, this is your official invitation to get naked and jump in the ocean with me.
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PRIVATE:
You did, but it's nice to hear it again.
Good. So, friend, how have you been lately?
PRIVATE:
Good, because I still care about you... Which I already said.
Moving past it it is. I miss having you as a friend too.
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Okay, that's fair. I think the only way to settle this is to play a game, 1 on 1. We'll have to have a completely impartial third party there to judge, and we'll have to be absolutely naked so that we can't hide anything up our sleeves. I don't see another possible way.
You're backing me into a corner here and you know what? I'm not gonna bite. 'Cause if I say I'm not a cheater, then it's like you said, that's something a cheater would say. If I say I am a cheater, then I'm shooting myself in the foot, 'cause who wants to play with a cheater? Nobody. Unless it's another cheater whose trying to outcheat the main cheater. How am I supposed to answer this in a way that lets me assert my Pictionary championship? Let a bitch know.
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— private.
As long as you can promise me that you're okay and you're safe then I can accept that you're not ready to tell me. No, I guess I wasn't okay, but I am now. I love you, you know that?
— private.
...no, you're right. I'm sorry. It's not nothing, but I don't think it's something I'm ready to tell you about either. Some day maybe, just not now. You're okay now, but were you okay? Zach seemed really worried, and I know they worry a lot but this felt like it was more than usual.
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