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[minafazrena]

“Every person I’ve ever loved has some how become toxic to me. A living, breathing reminder of why I was always better off alone. I love too hard, too quickly and then sometimes I don’t love enough. I guess I’m just bad at love.”

—

Kristie Betts

(via purplebuddhaquotes)

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Wed, 24/7/18 - So now i knew she was actually going through a very rough time surviving here to the point she’s giving it all up now. I also just found out about Cam’s suicidal condition. In short, everyone has it rough. We all trying very hard to hang in there. We kept it in. Because deep somewhere we know that the others are no better.

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Sun, 24/6/18 - Started off the day by cleaning the kitchen and living room. The parents are coming so gotta keep them clean. Nothing much after that. I did cry watching ikon tv cause they got into family topics and obviously me who owns many mental scars from it unknowingly got dragged too deep into the topic. The forever remaining scars. Mel for the first time in 3 years, suggested for us to do face mask. She doesnt even know how to put it on. It was such a mess. I also just found out Liv has another insta account which she posted germany and france photos. Cant say I’m not totally fine with her not telling me about it. Just make me wonder. Is my existence even has a slight importance? 

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Sat, 23/6/18 - 3 days before umi ayah in England. I’m obviously anticipating it. To let them experience a new place with a new culture. The place that has been my home for 3 years. But at the same time, knowing ayah, I’m so deadly anxious. He’s so picky and fussy. So doubtful about everything. He never had trust in me. EVER. It has been 23 years. I know i could never fix it. Cause you see, i tried, many times. Never worked. Apart from that, today I just stayed home, i was thinking to go for a walk but I thought only yesterday i had a long one and im still tired from it. So lazy. I’m so emotional too today. God knows why. It can’t be pms already i only had my period like 2 weeks ago. I want to get angry and cry over everything, or something. Mel just questioning me about my one-day trip to london plan with my family and im like, can you please stop, im poor af to afford a longer trip and i HATE london in the first place. But yeah i know it’s just her style to question everything. Also today Liv messaged after awhile now, and yeah, picking up the last conversation we had, it’s about jk. After a few messages i asked her some other question about when she’s coming back to england and she disappeared again. I might be the most patient person to wait for a response from my best friend ever. Damned my emotional bum, god knows when will we even meet again after this. Does she care as much as i do? Or at all?

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Fri, 22/6/18 - Mel’s friend came over and we took her around Durham, in other words, walking our legs off for the whole day. The weather was nice. I took a lot of photos. Only a few of them have me in it and I realized I’m not as pretty as I thought so I deleted most of them right away. This photo was taken by Mel with her fancy camera so it was not as real and i don’t look as bad as i am in real life (maybe). Who knows. What even is real. We were supposed to meet Abby and Sam for dinner but we were all too exhausted so we canceled it and went back home instead. But that night, I craved for chinese food (iKontv influence) so I called Abby and we talked for a bit on phone. At the end I suggested we ordered takeout together and we could have it at her place. So we did that, we ate, chat, watched a drama (eulachacha waikiki). For some reasons, everytime we met, we always ended up talking about dreams and families. How bullshit the society is and all. We were too into the drama that it was past 1 in the morning when i headed back home.

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I’m gonna start writing ‘diary entries’ here, they may be cringey to be read in future but the memories will stay.

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yuto praying for yeo one to stop embarrassing himself (2018)

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The Game Of Thrones women Meets Fairytale women series!

Arya Stark: Little Red Riding Hood Yara Greyjoy: Gretel Sansa Stark: The Little Mermaid Olenna Tyrell: Baba Yaga Daenerys Targaryen: Cinderella Margery Tyrell: Aurora Brienne of Tarth: Merida Ellaria Sand: The Evil Queen Cersei Lannister: Maleficent

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Cuddly China Line.

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“Love, I know you are trying to be everything all at once: a person with their future figured out, a girl who’s learned how to make a home of herself, someone who knows when to keep fighting and when to give up. Promise me to live each day as it comes, and not to worry too much. I swear, no one knows what it is they’re supposed to be doing anyway.”

— n.j.

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Kookie day

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the chicken story of kim myungsoo