millenniumpatriarch

[millenniumpatriarch]

To anyone still checking or anyone who might find this blog:

I am returning to roleplay, though I’ll be more careful to not overwhelm myself, and make sure to communicate well, so everyone has fun, I am on @goldenheartedfox now, with Wei Wuxian as one of the main muses, Allen Walker and a DAI one as the others!

(In term of “verses”, you can find what the one from this blog, but I have two other ones, both canon based!)

[millenniumpatriarch]

Hello!

This is a note to warn I’m officially logging off this account!

You can now find me mostly at chrismerysfics (and IM me there if you wish to stay in touch, including to ask my discord)!

[millenniumpatriarch]

Hello!

While I feel maybe some of you felt like this might come, I only seriously considered it a few days ago. I’ve come to a decision, and it is that I’ve reached a point that, for all I enjoy the idea behind tumblr rp, I just don’t find anymore the satisfaction I had before. All that I find curious to explore, I can’t find anymore a joy in trying to explore it by rp, and I easily find joy by self indulging in fanfics when the ideas I get call for me to do so.

RP has been a eight eyes page of my life, and I had times where I felt I might close it, but it was always the specific muse that I ended up not finding joy anymore. I was always able to find a new muse. But what’s happened now is that I have lost the satisfaction in the very settings of tumblr rp, and of writing those rps. For all I’ll still find the plots interesting, and I would wish to write, there is no actual calling anymore.

I came to realize there is a lot to a tumblr blog that ended up weighing on me. You maintain your blog, your pages, you feel a need to be somewhat active, for all you might keep yourself to a few partners or threads, you’ll still see, feel there’s more people, you see your dash… Before, I had no trouble with this, and I took joy in sharing, in the public aspect of tumblr rp. That’s exactly what I’m not enjoying anymore, and whether it caused it or it’s another thing that happened to me, I don’t really feel a want to rp anymore. There’s very, very few plots I am still willing to keep, and develop privately where there’s none of the expectations of a blog, and where it’s much easier for us to handle.

I can’t say with certitude I’ll never return, I’m not a “never” person. Or I’m only saying never when I say “I can never know for sure”. But as of today, and until or unless my feelings change, I am closing my rp blogs and I am quitting tumblr rp, and except those very few plots for which I already contacted the muns for, I am not rping anymore.

There was only Allen’s blog and Wei Wuxian’s blog that had remained active, and this means both of them are being closed now.

Obviously, if you wish to remain in touch, you can! Your best bet is discord, as it’s a little easier to handle than IM on tumblr.

And of course, you can still find me, just not in rp blogs. I strongly advise my fanfic blog as your go to place, as I intend for it to the place where I can speak about myself (I have a personal blog, but I intend to have it be reblogs only). Especially if you liked what you were seeing on my rp blogs, and/or my writings and/or ideas; as both the canon au for Allen’s blog and the Noah!WWX ideas will be fanfics.

If you want my AO3 directly, it’s there!

Meet me Halfway to the End if the fic for the exact canon au that is at the base of Allen’s blog, but when it’s comes to Allen’s characterization, a lot of my canon/canon au (and even au) fics remain with the portrayal you have seen me develop. As for Noah!WWX, they don’t exist yet, but I fully intend to indulge into writing for ideas based on the different verses that existed on the blog, and one or two more; I’m rather certain I’ll make a series where each fic cover a specific idea (like “what if he awakens when he’s brought back” and “what if awakens when he’s thrown in burial pounds”).

And while this does mean I’ll get more time and energy to give to fics, what I know is that this really frees me up (especially mentally) when it comes to my original writings. It would mean a lot to me to see you on my fic blog, or checking my fics, and it would mean so, so much if I see you following my writer blog, or checking/keeping an eye on my site. I don’t know if I often said it, but everything on my site is free to read, and my income is the support anyone willingly give via Patreon and/or Ko-fi.

So while it’s amazing when I do get financial support, what matters the most is for readers to find me, and for a secure network to be born. The more people that find me, and the more of those that actually find something they like, the more I can create a secure space. But for that, I can only trust in the curiosity of others, as I share about my writings.

Thank you so, so much to everyone who has been following me, who has interacted with me, if you wish to remain in touch, don’t hesitate to let me know (if we don’t have each other discord yet), if you really don’t like discord or can’t make one, you can still stay in touch on my fic’s blog IM (and inbox messages), as it’s where I’ll be present the most. And I hope I can see you all around, be it my fic blog, or my writer blog and site, or both!

[millenniumpatriarch]

An additional note I forgot all about: I will still be checking on Allen’s and Wei Wuxian’s blog for a few days, but I suspect that I’ll end up logged off at some point, so when I say feel free to stay in touch, it’s possibly even better to inbox or IM directly at my fanfic blog (chrisemrysfics.tumblr.com for copy paste and here for link).

See you around, and in any case, stay safe and I wish you the best ♥

[millenniumpatriarch]

Hello!

While I feel maybe some of you felt like this might come, I only seriously considered it a few days ago. I’ve come to a decision, and it is that I’ve reached a point that, for all I enjoy the idea behind tumblr rp, I just don’t find anymore the satisfaction I had before. All that I find curious to explore, I can’t find anymore a joy in trying to explore it by rp, and I easily find joy by self indulging in fanfics when the ideas I get call for me to do so.

RP has been a eight eyes page of my life, and I had times where I felt I might close it, but it was always the specific muse that I ended up not finding joy anymore. I was always able to find a new muse. But what’s happened now is that I have lost the satisfaction in the very settings of tumblr rp, and of writing those rps. For all I’ll still find the plots interesting, and I would wish to write, there is no actual calling anymore.

I came to realize there is a lot to a tumblr blog that ended up weighing on me. You maintain your blog, your pages, you feel a need to be somewhat active, for all you might keep yourself to a few partners or threads, you’ll still see, feel there’s more people, you see your dash… Before, I had no trouble with this, and I took joy in sharing, in the public aspect of tumblr rp. That’s exactly what I’m not enjoying anymore, and whether it caused it or it’s another thing that happened to me, I don’t really feel a want to rp anymore. There’s very, very few plots I am still willing to keep, and develop privately where there’s none of the expectations of a blog, and where it’s much easier for us to handle.

I can’t say with certitude I’ll never return, I’m not a “never” person. Or I’m only saying never when I say “I can never know for sure”. But as of today, and until or unless my feelings change, I am closing my rp blogs and I am quitting tumblr rp, and except those very few plots for which I already contacted the muns for, I am not rping anymore.

There was only Allen’s blog and Wei Wuxian’s blog that had remained active, and this means both of them are being closed now.

Obviously, if you wish to remain in touch, you can! Your best bet is discord, as it’s a little easier to handle than IM on tumblr.

And of course, you can still find me, just not in rp blogs. I strongly advise my fanfic blog as your go to place, as I intend for it to the place where I can speak about myself (I have a personal blog, but I intend to have it be reblogs only). Especially if you liked what you were seeing on my rp blogs, and/or my writings and/or ideas; as both the canon au for Allen’s blog and the Noah!WWX ideas will be fanfics.

If you want my AO3 directly, it’s there!

Meet me Halfway to the End if the fic for the exact canon au that is at the base of Allen’s blog, but when it’s comes to Allen’s characterization, a lot of my canon/canon au (and even au) fics remain with the portrayal you have seen me develop. As for Noah!WWX, they don’t exist yet, but I fully intend to indulge into writing for ideas based on the different verses that existed on the blog, and one or two more; I’m rather certain I’ll make a series where each fic cover a specific idea (like “what if he awakens when he’s brought back” and “what if awakens when he’s thrown in burial pounds”).

And while this does mean I’ll get more time and energy to give to fics, what I know is that this really frees me up (especially mentally) when it comes to my original writings. It would mean a lot to me to see you on my fic blog, or checking my fics, and it would mean so, so much if I see you following my writer blog, or checking/keeping an eye on my site. I don’t know if I often said it, but everything on my site is free to read, and my income is the support anyone willingly give via Patreon and/or Ko-fi.

So while it’s amazing when I do get financial support, what matters the most is for readers to find me, and for a secure network to be born. The more people that find me, and the more of those that actually find something they like, the more I can create a secure space. But for that, I can only trust in the curiosity of others, as I share about my writings.

Thank you so, so much to everyone who has been following me, who has interacted with me, if you wish to remain in touch, don’t hesitate to let me know (if we don’t have each other discord yet), if you really don’t like discord or can’t make one, you can still stay in touch on my fic’s blog IM (and inbox messages), as it’s where I’ll be present the most. And I hope I can see you all around, be it my fic blog, or my writer blog and site, or both!

[millenniumpatriarch]

I feel it might be something we all experienced, but when I started this blog, I had really felt the self esteem issues Wei Wuxian had, but I wouldn’t see often people mention it so I would wonder if it was an early perception, something I’ll adjust later, because when you’re new, you can’t help being uncertain faced to people who have been longer around. As much as I have learned both self confidence and that it’s totally okay if your portrayal is actually different than canon, you still kind of want to understand the canon.

But now? There’s been more and more acknowledgement of Wei Wuxian self worth issues, and I think it might be partly because CQL let us see more of it. It feels a bit reassuring to see it, that more people play with this aspect of Wei Wuxian.

And of course, it just solidified my headcanons. I do feel he has been confident in his own skills, and that he does have self confidence, but it is self worth he lacks. And it’s easy for others to not realize, because you wouldn’t expect someone who is confident to not value themselves, right? But the thing is, being confident in what you can do is different than being confident about yourself.

Also, I feel there’s been some dose of feeling he has to be good, that he can’t afford to fail or give bad results. For all he is a free spirit, it is not at the cost of his skills. But yes, the main thing is that, for all he is good, and has confidence in his skills, he feels he owes it to the Jiang. He’s proud of having been a good cultivator, and it might have soothed a bit his issues with self worth, but you realize when he gives his golden core away that ultimately, he based his self worth of how he can protect and help the Jiang. Often, I wonder what exactly he had planned for what came after, because in context, he had no idea he would be captured, he thought Jiang Cheng would find him and they would go find Jiang Yanli. Did he intent to lie? To try to hide it at first? I can’t shake the feeling that he just... did not feel like he would matter after this. If to him, his worth reached its peak when he gave away his golden core, what was he thinking about the future? And just... he didn’t intend for Jiang Cheng to know, so what did he plan to say? How long did he think he could hide it?

All of this is also why I feel there’s a lot of feelings associated with his demonic cultivation. That’s all his, he developed it on its own, it’s more deeply his that spiritual cultivation was. Ultimately, it is because he wished for revenge and to protect, but demonic cultivation can be said to be his and his only. So isn’t it natural he felt defensive of it? That everyone else reaction hurt? Because it was maybe the one thing that, being his, would place roots of self worth... and almost everyone treat him as lower than human. As a “righteous” cultivator he could not afford to not be confident, his worth was defined by how useful he could be to the Jiang; and as a demonic cultivator, the world pretty much told him he had no worth.

At the same time, because he has had self worth issues rooted into his heart, he didn’t want others to know, especially people he cared about. Like an emotional wound unhealed, he still bases his self worth of being useful, being wanted. Ultimately, all his life, at the heart of everything he sought to be wanted, and so he feared the most that people he cared for would not want him, would declare him unworthy. And if they did, he would accept it, internalize it.

So I feel he grew so defensive with Lan Wangji because it was, I feel, the one person Wei Wuxian knew he would not handle it if Lan Wangji knew the truth, because in Wei Wuxian eyes, Lan Wangji would see he does not have any worth anymore. He was afraid and insecure, to know whether or not he was worthy in Lan Wangji eyes, and so he did all he could to not allow Lan Wangji to see the truth. And sadly, since Wei Wuxian thought Lan Wangji hated him or at least disapproved on his cultivation, it’s easy to see him feeling he has no worth to give. Without his core, he feels unworthy, and with his demonic cultivation, Lan Wangji accidentally projects the idea this makes him unworthy as long as he uses it. So in Wei Wuxian mind, no matter what he does, he is unworthy of Lan Wangji.

Which, ultimately, is why I feel that, even if he was not blind to his own feelings, he brushed them away because I am not worthy. And he would not be able to believe Lan Wangji could have feelings, because he thinks he’s been deemed unworthy, and even if not, he feels he’s unworthy, so why would someone so good like Lan Wangji would ever feel like this?

(What kind of hurts to think about is that, when he’s brought back, there’s a lot of self worth healing to do, because it’s very easy for him to not actually heal. He has a golden core, if weak, and so unlike before, where he felt unworthy because he had no golden core, now he can feel he has some worth. But at the same time, he would need to cultivate, so it’s more of a seed of worth, for him; and demonic cultivation has been cemented in him mind to be unworthy of others. I think that’s why it was so good that Lan Wangji showed care in many different ways, as no matter what, Wei Wuxian started to realized he was viewed as worthy, regardless of his body, his core, or his cultivation. Without Lan Wangji, he would have easily continued with his lack of proper self worth, and I don’t doubt that it still take some time for Wangxian to heal that. But yes, the best thing that can happen to Wei Wuxian is to be cared for regardless of everything else he is or does, because it makes him finally believe he can be worthy. I dare say there’s... not many who can do it, or do it as well as Lan Wangji. Jiang Yanli, the thing is, he knows she cares, but he can’t quite believe it’s because he’s worthy, he can feel he is unworthy and still trust she loves him, but he can feel it’s because they are sibling in hearts. Jiang Cheng is complex, he can help or hurt his self worth in equal measure. But Lan Wangji? Wei Wuxian respects him, views him as great, so if he’s given a sense of being worthy with him, he can believe it. And that’s why, before, he was so afraid: he couldn’t bear to actually see whether or not Lan Wangji would deem him worthy, so he didn’t “ask”, he made sure he couldn’t be “judged” fully, because then he can think, it’s okay he doesn’t know everything so I don’t know if he truly feels like this; while of course at the same time, believing himself unworthy, and thinking, I don’t want to hear him confirm it.

And again, that’s why, the day he starts receiving care from Lan Wangji and he can see it goes past whatever worth or lack of worth he feels, he can finally heal and believe he can be worthy).

And I realize, this self worth issue can play a part in him not asking for help. I feel he does genuinely wish to handle things by himself, if he feels he shouldn’t burden others or it’s something he should handle himself, but the problem is, if he doesn’t feel himself worthy, then how can he feel worthy to ask for help? If he feels unworthy, it is easy for him to feel he should not bother others, regardless of whether or not he actually needs help. Sometimes, he doesn’t, but sometimes, he does and he just... doesn’t have the self worth to ask for it. And of course, because he mask himself with confidence and arrogance, it can be easy to think he just doesn’t want help. It’s a minefield to anyone who wants to respect him, because how does one respect his choices and at the same time decipher if his choice is genuine or based in self worth issue? And the problem is that, because not many might even realize he has this issue, they’ll assume the choice is genuine.

(At the same time, someone who respect his choices is very good for him, someone he can trust because he feels respected, which is a feeling that can lead to feeling worthy, if it has time to be cultivated. yes I did that word play).

Basically: he needs someone who respects his choices but also shows they care no matter what, but the trick is, he needs to care about this person himself and feel they know him. A stranger who accept him, he easily feels they just don’t know him enough. So only a known, loved/trusted person can heal his self worth issue.

[millenniumpatriarch]

In addition to the self worth issue I wrote about in my previous headcanon, I also recall how he went through trauma four-five times in a row. Lotus Pier fall, his fear for Jiang Cheng when he left and then seeing him without a core, the surgery, being found by Wen Chao (who has him physically hurt), being thrown into Burial Mounds (and whatever happened in there).

And when he leaves, he hunts down Wen Chao. He only, finally “comes out” of all this when he’s killed him. And he’s facing Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, two of the three he knows that know him well and whose opinion actually matter to him.

But Jiang Cheng? Not only can Wei Wuxian easily see his moods and that he’s more focused on revenge, he has grown up with him, he know how to re direct. Lan Wangji? He knows how hard it will be. And he’s not ready to discover whetehr or not he will be seen as worthless now, so he pushes back Lan Wangji.

At the same time, because of all the trauma he has gone through, he also instinctively want to protect himself from what he perceives can be painful, and in this case, it’s discovering how worthy or worthless he’ll be to Lan Wangji eyes. To Jiang Cheng too, but he feels he can play around it; with Lan Wangji, he knows he can’t, unless he fully push him away.

After that, he both has some margin to stabilize a bit, and he has no way to fully heal because they are at war. So his trauma, of all that happened, can’t heal, and so he keeps minimizing the way he can be hurt, and he does that by not allowing himself to be vulnerable with others. Not even Jiang Yanli, although he does lower some guard with her, but the thing is, I feel he fears the most showing his vulnerability with her, because he feels once he does, he can’t pull back up his guards. And well, again: he feels unworthy, so he doesn’t want to expose her to it.

So yes, in short: the people that could actually help, that could be a source of healing, he close off in different manner, for different reasons, but it all comes down to the root issue of his self worth.

[millenniumpatriarch]

I reblogged from Allen’s blog and it’s 99% applying to this blog too, there’s one little thing that’s different here: I haven’t made a thread tracker for Wei Wuxian XD

I made one for Allen because there’s more threads, it’s to help myself stay somewhat organized on Allen. With WWX, it’s calmer so I didn’t feel the need to have a thread tracker.

(You can also always find yourself by your url on my blog, if you ever do wonder what we had; or ask me).

(I might do a thread tracker, eventually, maybe).

[millenniumpatriarch]

Hello!

So if you recall me having made myself a schedule, and making a schedule section in my guidelines; well. Turns out that while it helped me organize in my mind my priorities, and made me realize what is relaxing, long term I cannot keep a schedule. It isn’t that I can’t stay organized, it is that it actually starts to work against me. My creativity is not a regular pattern, and I need the freedom and flexibility of adapating to how my energy flows.

And so, I have removed the schedule section; and what I have in my guidlines, in the general section, that speak of schedule are these:

♣ My time zone is GMT+1!

♣ I have a thread tracker, I add a thread once I wrote a starter or reply to a starter~ When it comes to asks made into threads, I’ll add them if you make yourself the thread, or if you reply to the thread I made out of it (in short, I wait to see if you intend to continue it). This does mean that if I make continuation to an ask reply, I’m totally fine if you don’t continue it! It’s often that my muse might have had a reaction to give, but I’m totally fine with continuing or not~

♣ Roleplaying is my one of my two creative hobbies, the other being my fanfictions. In addition, writing is my actual career. This means that when I am in creative mood, I need to decide where to put the energy. Of course, sometimes my creative mood is already focused for a specific thing. But when I feel inspired, my priority order is career > fanfic > roleplay.

♣ This means I cannot give any sort of regular pattern for when I do threads reply. I draft all asks I receive too. Certain asks can be replied to rather fast (in the same day or the day after), but since writing a reply (even to OOC stuff) takes energy, it is dependent of my energy level. In general, I will look to direct energy toward roleplaying when I can, however most often, I’ll do one or two reply.

♣ I might use the queue if I have more than a few threads to reply to, so they can be spread through days. Otherwise, I do tend to post when I have replied.

On a side note, I do have two roleplay blogs, Allen and Wei Wuxian. However, to be honest, when I do focus on rp, they both can get equal attention.

As a general note, I do feel that I’m less interested in rp compared to fics. I am still very interested in continuing what I have, with various degree of inspiration coming, but what I already have is dear to me. My muses do want to see where it goes, and with most of my partners I know we established we do want to continue, both of us. But new things or adding up to what I’m already having will happen less, not impossible, but considering I already have a lot to do, I know better than to blindly add more things on my hands.

In short: yep, I’m a slowpoke, in the funny way that my inspiration flows in unpredictable ways. There is no trying to give a schedule to this, all I need is a certain degree of order to my priorities, and then to flow in harmony with my inspiration.

As always, I’m thankful to your presence and to all of you patient with me ♥

PS: a little note, it is that chatting ooc does cost me energy, so it is very easy for me to, not chat for days, especially anything that isn’t a casual little thing. In general, most anyone who interacts ooc with me know this, as I try to always warn people of that now; but just in case, this is a little note to say that I’m a slowpoke too with ooc chatting, and it’s solely because I can only chat when I have the energy to do so! If you know me long enough, you realize I always reply eventually; and due to that, it’s also why I extend the same courtesy, I take it as not having energy or not being chatty if we were speaking ooc and then we don’t, the simple fact you’re still rping with me or still following me let’s me know you’re still there~!

(This does mean I don’t often tend to send something again if I was the last person to speak, as I use notifications to remember whom I haven’t replied or talked to, and while I can see you on dash, it’s kind of like brain does not put two and two together until the rare genius moments where I actually realize how long it’s been).

[millenniumpatriarch]

The original video is gone, so there’s the reacting video, and imagine WWX as one of the boys, but also as the dad.

Honestly it’s even funnier when I think of Noah!WWX as the dad, and other Noahs as the boys.

[millenniumpatriarch]

I love that my first thought was: a very Wei Wuxian thing to do.

Though if he ever did that with A-Yuan, he would have to run from Wen Qing right after

[millenniumpatriarch]

Oh. In this fic there’s a line about how Wei Wuxian greatest heroic was for Jiang Cheng, and what it makes me think about is what I would call his greatest acts of heroism, and:

Staying behind to let everyone else escape the Xuanwu of Slaughter

Giving his golden core to Jiang Cheng

Getting the Wen free and safe

Telling Jiang Cheng to declare he’s not part of the Sect anymore

Hiding A-Yuan

Making sure the Juniors get out when he realizes it’s Xue Yang

Making himself a bait so that everyone can escape Burial Mounds

And among those, I would feel the most “this is heroism” by staying behind, giving his golden core, and getting the Wen free.

What stands out, is that if you look at the list, there’s only two occasions where his act of heroism was for a single person. All of those are about group of people, except the fact he gave away his golden core, and that he hid A-Yuan.

And it’s why I would indeed agree that his greatest heroic is giving away his golden core. It’s, of course, great that he’s done heroic things for group of people, and in theory, making sure Jiang Cheng can cultivate again is beneficial for the whole Sect. But there’s something meaningful to heroism directed at a single person, all that core value of wanting to protect the weak and do what is right, solely focused on a single person.

To both Jiang Cheng and A-Yuan, it was pretty much life saving. But only his act of giving away his golden core is an act he made a secret. It’s both the greatest act he’s done, and the one that got no recognition and wouldn’t have if things didn’t end up revealed. Personally, it adds a layer of heroism to not only do such a thing, but not want it to be known.

So, yes, I think I can agree with the idea that his single most heroic act was to give his golden core to Jiang Cheng, and so to say his single most heroic act was for Jiang Cheng.

(And oh, the sweet irony that Jiang Cheng own greatest act was to bait the Wen away from Wei Wuxian, an act he has never told anyone. When it comes down to it, they did the exact same thing: their greast act was for each other, with zero wish for it to be known).

(Makes me think of the idea that there cannot be hate if there was no love. Wei Wuxian hate Wen Chao not because he used to love him obviously, but he does hate Wen Chao because of the hurt to his loved one. Jiang Cheng? He “hates” Wei Wuxian as much as he loves him).

In short: that’s why, to me, Wei Wuxian can feel happy and healed with Lan Wangji, and ultimately I do believe their love can allow them to overcome anything, but Wei Wuxian truest happiness is if he has in his life both Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng. I feel just knowing Jiang Cheng is doing well works, but their bond is precious, there’s a special happiness to being able to have Jiang Cheng in his life.

[millenniumpatriarch]

Seeing fun facts about DGM and thinking about it, I realize it is true that a Noah’s Awakening isn’t necessarily the same for each Noah. One has a near instant one, another was shown to have suffered a lot. We don’t know how Mana&Nea own went, which would be more helpful for me as Wei Wuxian is pretty much in their situation, more or less.

However, this does mean I can play around with Wei Wuxian’s awakening. It can be quick, it can be long, it can be painful, it can be with not much pain but drag on, etc.

Though, I think the one thing I won’t do is a quick Awakening. This is in big part due to how, to mix canons, I hced the Noahs were dormant and weren’t meant to come back. So his Awakening won’t be out of the blue, and quick. It’s a gradual process, but how quickly it goes can vary. It can be short, a few days, or it can be long.

This does mean, in theory, that a post-canon Wei Wuxian can Awaken, too. While I do see his resurection as the final trigger, I think the event between his return and the end of the (main story) novel don’t take that long? So it’s possible to place the Awakening post-canon. I will, however, make a verse for that, and keep the main verse as it is.

(But yes, can you imagine, happy post-canon Wei Wuxian, and then one day, it just looks like he’s hit with some sickness no one knows, and for all intents and purposes, it feels like “resentful” energy is causing chaos in his body, and trying to “purify” it only makes it worse? Can you imagine, if he starts to really feel pain, and out of nowhere his forehead start to carve itself with little crosses? Nightmares if he try to sleep, pain when he’s awake? And then one day, it all stops, but his skin has turned grey, his forehead is carved with a row of little crosses, and he’s opening golden eyes. Bonus point if, for brief moments, his mind is still adjusting and he kind of, is trying to make sense of what was in the past and what’s now).

[millenniumpatriarch]

Reading Chinese Names: Male Names

Part 2 of Reading Chinese Names, click here to see part 1 on female names!

In this part, I compiled a list of over 1000 Chinese male names which combined consisted on 579 unique characters. These names came from participants on idol survival shows and other singers and actors. I did my best to remove duplicate individuals and not include stage names that are not authentic Chinese names (like 奥斯卡). A lot of performers go by stage names that sound authentic or have changed their legal name–I included these. I separated the names into individual characters and then counted how many times each character occurred. Note that these data are not necessarily representative of the overall populations of China and Taiwan. However, I think this info is still valuable.

Below I have the top 82 characters, aka those that were found at least 5 times. I’ve included all the counts for those who may be interested. Characters also found on the females names list are bolded.

宇 yǔ - room, universe / 28

子 zǐ - son, child, seed, egg, small thing / 24

杰 jié - hero, heroic, outstanding person, prominent, distinguished / 24

文 wén - language, culture, writing, formal, literary, gentle / 23

豪 háo - grand, heroic / 21

俊 jùn - smart, eminent, handsome, talented / 20

泽 zé - pool, pond, (of metals etc) luster, favor or beneficence, damp, moist / 20

一 yī - one, 1, single, a (article), as soon as, entire, whole, all, throughout / 19

明 míng - bright, clear, to understand, wise / 18

博 bó - extensive, ample, rich, obtain, aim, to win, to get, plentiful / 16

天 tiān - day, sky, heaven / 16

浩 hào - grand, vast (water) / 15

嘉 jiā - excellent, auspicious, to praise, to commend / 14

晨 chén - morning, dawn, daybreak / 14

超 chāo - to exceed, to overtake, to surpass, to transcend, to pass, to cross, super / 14

轩 xuān - pavilion with a view, high, tall / 12

鑫 xīn - (used in names of people and shops, symbolizing prosperity) / 11

铭 míng - to engrave, inscribed motto / 11

龙 lóng - dragon, imperial / 11

东 dōng - east / 10

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[millenniumpatriarch]

This is a little “test” as I wanted to try my hand at writing how Wei Wuxian would awaken in the Buried&Awakened verse. See this as one way it can go, and just a bit of fun writing.

I do, however, kind of like it. I would say, it’s possible after he does manage to regain a bit more of his human personality, and you can see hints “Wei Wuxian” is not gone. But this does show how the Awakening can affect him~ Especially as I view this verse as the one where he gets a bad kind (he doesn’t have anything to balance out the pure hate and darkness a Noah carries in their soul, and quite opposite, he was in a state of loss and anger).

There’s no actual detail, there’s a mention of blood, and brief mention of how the pain made him harm himself, otherwise I remained focused on feelings and the aftermath.

Enjoy~

It hurt. It hurt so much. He felt empty, yet filled in the worst of ways. Clawing at him, clawing inside him. He fought them, refused their call of letting go, he would not allow himself to fall, but it hurt.

His body hurt. His heart hurt. His head hurt.

Madam Yu... Uncle Jiang... Everyone... Lotus Pier in flames... Jiang Cheng... Shijie... Lan Zhan....

It hurt. It burned. Pain, sorrow, anger. Fury. Hate.

How dare you... Power hungry Wen... Power hungry humans...

How dare you take my family from me...

How dare you-!

Golden eyes snapped open.

I will kill you all! The curtain shall rise and this will be your last play!

Laughters rang, hysteric, malicious, corpses backing away from the aura of pure darkness rolling from the grey skinned body. Blood that had pooled from the stigma that carved themselves, from how he had clawed at his suffering body, bitten his own fingers, all this blood bubbled, resentment and something more, something ancient coiling around the frame that stood up.

Wide, too wide grin, laughters, madness, head thrown back.

Tears falling down his golden eyes, too many memories, is this the Truth? Is this how this world came to be? Aren’t we doing it all again?

The grin fell. The laughters stopped. He stared down at his hands, his grey hands, clenched and unclenched them.

My remaining family... No one will harm them.

My lost family... I will avenge them.

And he lifted his head, and he looked at all the lost souls of the dead around him.

And he grinned.

“My poor children... Lost, abandoned by your Heavens... Let me give you purpose.”

He was the Maker. He was the First. He was the Millennium Earl. He was Adam.

He was Wei Wuxian.

And the dead were his to command.

[millenniumpatriarch]

❝ do you mind if we stay like this for a little longer? ❞

Talon was absolutely delighted by how affectionate the mortal had turned out to be. It was not that he desired anything from a human - of course not! He was a dragon king, and as such had no need for anything a mortal could offer him. Even if he was cast from the heavens by the demi-goddess Irelia, he was not without his pride (indeed, it seemed it was the only thing that sustained him, most days). 

“I suppose… I would not mind.” Talon said, as if he did not desire to be as close as they now were. As if he did not wish for this to continue, until he grew too hungry to hold the other. “It is not… unpleasant, after all.”

@millenniumpatriarch

[millenniumpatriarch]

shensheng-aoman‌ 

Talon gazed upon the mortal carefully, before finally inclining his head ever-so-slightly. He had seen how terrible and cruel mortals were capable of being - indeed, he had beared unspeakable things since falling to this mortal plane - the daring of those mortals who thought themselves better than he! Who thought they could treat him as if he were nothing more than a madman! He was a king, and a dragon, and they all should fall to their knees before him!

“I understand. I do not understand this… Aggression… Mortals feel towards those who reveal their true natures to them, but very well. Mo Xuanyu it is, then.”

“I do not mind if mortals worship worship me, however, nor if they fear me as they should instead.” His tone could almost be described as nonchalant if only it were not for the utter coldness in his eyes. He had been feared before, when he was in his true place - in the heavens amidst the gods, toying with mortals’ lives 

“Unlike others of my kind, I have learnt to see through the verneer of kindness and fear to see the truth of mortal kind.” He did not care that it was to a mortal which he spoke. He had seen through the lies and been burnt by their kindness. He had learnt the hard way one could not trust one of their kind. He sneered. “I know that it is the goal of mortals to hold power over all others, even those who are objectively their betters.”

In a way, he meant the mortal which he spoke to, too. His flirting words were fun and lighthearted, yet Talon did not doubt he said them to curry favour with him. It was always the same with mortals. Always. Irelia had bought into that - taught him to be kind and gentle and to be obedient, yet he would not allow himself to be shackled to their whims. He would remain free. 

“Do you not fear me, knowing I am different to you immortals? I know humans have a penchant for fearing what they do not know or understand.”

Wei Wuxian wanted to tell this one that mortals might or might not have a reason to turn aggressive, but they had agreed to keep to his Mo Xuanyu front, and so instead, he simply thanked the other with a smile.

A laugh escaped Wei Wuxian. “Ah, now that’s great confidence. I respect that.” He was not blind to that coldness however, and well... There had been a time where those would have been his words.

He had always meant them, yet he also... not quite meant them. No, he did not care for how others viewed him, as long as he could do the right thing. But to say it didn’t matter to him... That it wouldn’t hurt...

“What a dark view on mortals... But not a wrong one.” He smiled bitterly. “I assure you, some of us do see this too, and hate it. All those hyprocrites, only caring about their power. I can certainly see why you feel like this.” And he knew of course, that this meant this one was very likely not trusting Wei Wuxian much. Or not at all.

A grin formed, grey eyes sparkling with mischief. “I would rather be curious than fear what I do not understand. In fact, I’m very lucky right now! To meet an Immortal is very rare! It’s truly an honour~”

Beside... He would never had mastered Demonic Cultivation, if he was afraid of what he did not know. He always had a curiosity for knowledge, a wish to learn, and the sole fear he ever felt back then was to never see his siblings and Lan Wangji again.