methedumbass

[methedumbass]

Ngl, obsessed with the idea that the questers know that legolas is, if not thousands of years, then centuries old, but it not regestering until he mentions having met their ancestor or a historical figure to them. It doesn’t help that legolas looks like a teenager.

Just like that scene with eowyn realizing aragorn is a legit grandpa but with legolas and the rest of the walkers instead.

Legolas: i never had the pleasure of having a conversation with the man, but from the brief glimpses of (insert boromir’s ancestor from 1000 years ago here) that i saw, he was an honorable man.

Boromir, bluescreening: yes, he was known as quite the chivalrous man. But for you to have met him you must be at least a thousand years old!

Legolas: *clicks tongue and doesn’t say anything with an amused smile*

Aragorn, who has gone through all these emotions already: older.

Gimli: Older?? Are you telling me that this beardless, pointy elf with a face of a teenager is, what? 2000?

Aragorn: more.

Gimli: MORE???

Merry: if he is close to 3000 years than he was probably born around the last war for the ring!

Legolas, enjoying this all immensely: i was old enough to fight in it actually.

Pippin: alright, so legolas is 3000 and a few centuries. That’s a lot older than i thought to be honest. He looked like the youngest elf in rivendale.

Legolas: i’m 4000, actually.

Gimli: GODDAMN IT! I knew we shouldn’t trust these babyfaced point ears! You can’t even tell their age!

Legolas: if it makes you feel better, other elves also have a hard time discerning the age of silvans. They’ve routinely thought of mine to be millenia younger that we actually are.

Boromir, having an existential crisis: what the fuck

[methedumbass]

Boromir + arrows narrowly missing him… until they don’t 😔

[methedumbass]

Underutilized bit in LOTR, I feel, is how deeply out of his depth Boromir is within the Fellowship.

And by that I don't mean that he's the weakest or the stupidest or any of that, but rather that –against all appearances– he is the sole member of the Fellowship who is a Regular Normal Human, and he would have such a shocker slowly figuring all that out over the course of their journey. I mean:

Age. Legolas and Gimli wouldn't surprise him, since the lifespan of elves and dwarves seems commonly known to be way longer than humans, but Gandalf? The hobbits? None of these ages work as advertised and when he goes down to sit and commiserate with Aragorn about being the only Men in the company and how weird this all must be for them both Aragorn has to cough into his fist and mutter "Eighty-seven." "WHAT?!" (Yes, I know that Gondor keeps records of their Númenórean ancestors and said ancestors' extended lifespans, but consider this: the blood has thinned so much in Gondor that practically nobody lives longer than regular humans nowadays, and Boromir is canonically the jock in a family of scholars. He had to look up what/where Rivendell was after he got Faramir's Prophecy Dream, for god's sake.)

Bilbo. The entire Fellowship except Boromir has a personal relationship with Bilbo, and Boromir has neither seen nor heard of this creature in his life. Everyone else is starting off this quest with significant background knowledge of Bilbo's life and The Hobbit, whether having been told by Bilbo himself or having had family members personally involved at the time it occurred, and Boromir, again, has no clue what they're all on about.

Moria. Dwarves presumably have some built-in sensory adaptions for living underground, elf eye physics are bullshit, hobbits are stated to be far more comfortable/better navigating underground than most races, Gandalf is an Istar, and Aragorn has been hunting and tracking in various ungodly locations for most of his eighty-seven years. This means that, once again, Boromir is the only Normal Person trying to Normally Navigate a mostly-pitch-black cave system while everyone else side-eyes him for bumping into walls all the time.

Elves can sleep with their eyes open. This is admittedly not the most common thing among the Fellowship, but please imagine Boromir, still struggling to understand the fact that he's surrounded by nonhuman beings who have no shared concept of the passing of time, rolling over at 2AM to see Legolas bluescreening contentedly up at the sky, and then everyone acts like he's the weird one when he starts freaking out about it because all of them are used to traveling with/know more about elves than he does.

Even just remembering stuff off the top of my head, Boromir must have had such a weird time adjusting to being the only normal human being among the Fellowship before he, y'know. Died.

(Plus I can totally imagine Merry and Pippin giving him shit for "Well, if you're the only normal one amongst nearly a dozen people, then that's not very 'normal', is it? Maybe Men are the odd ones out and everybody else is normal.")

[methedumbass]

isn’t it weird how toxic masculinity is still a thing when the aragorn/boromir forehead kiss should have obliterated it back in 2001

[methedumbass]

Here is my little Pippin & Boromir Comic about Courage!!

To give a little bit of Context, first of all I completely made this up haha I imagine this happening sometimes after setting off from Rivendell but before the Mines of Moria! So in the book after Pippin was alone in Gondor for quite some while, he felt very isolated and alone, very little and weak. (especially after being separated from Merry) and there were times where he stood at the walls of Minas Tirith and looked into the Horizon and could see that you know things are about to happen haha so i asked myself if Pippin ever thought about Boromir during that time, I always felt like that they shared a special bond. Maybe Pip reminded Boromir of Faramir especially when they were younger!

Anyways I really hope that you enjoy this little comic, it was so much fun to work on!!

[methedumbass]

"Leave it."

[methedumbass]

damn I need to write a one-shot about this some time

Lotr headcanon, having lots of patches on your clothes is fashionable in the Shire. The more patches, the cooler you are. Especially if it's a lot of different fabrics. It's common to trade patches with friends and family, and it's usually treated with high sentimental value. It's like carrying a piece of someone with you.

While the hobbits are on the quest, their clothes get holes and such. This leads Sam and Frodo to nab small things from the other members of the fellowship, like handkerchiefs or anything too worn for use, to use as patches. Merry and Pippin aren't so courteous, and cut pieces from the fellowship's clothes while they sleep.

Of course, the hobbits exchange patches amongst themselves while traveling, and they never go anywhere without a needle and some thread. Sam is the best at sewing. Pippin is not allowed around needles.

Boromir notices this, thinks it's adorable, and leaves things out purposely for the hobbits to use. Eventually, he asks about it, and they convince him to do the patches, too.

Aragorn also notices and thinks it's adorable, but doesn't bring it up to them. He's secretly flattered to find pieces of his rag on Frodo's pants. He asks Boromir about it instead.

Legolas doesn't notice. His clothes are elven-made, and the scissors refuse to cut it.

Gimli notices the random holes in his clothes, and the things going missing, but doesn't realize it's the hobbits. He brings it up to Legolas, who immediately convinces Gimli that he's crazy and it's all in his head.

Gandalf notices, obviously, and he doesn't mind until Pippin tries to cut his cloak while hes asleep. He proceeds to wake up and yell at him until dawn.

After Boromir dies, Aragorn takes his cloak, and sews pieces onto his clothes. These are the only patches he has.

Bilbo has a set of clothes with patches from the dwarves, from his own adventure. He told them about the tradition, and they all gave him pieces of fabric to use. He can still recount which patch belonged to who.

[methedumbass]

same energy

[methedumbass]

going to make one of those "WATCHING LORD OF THE RINGS FOR THE **FIRST TIME**" videos on youtube but say things like "wow boromir looks especially rugged in these mountain scenes, almost like the actor actually hiked to the filming location instead of taking a helicopter" and "wouldn't it be funny if all those soldiers from rohan were women in fake beards" and "his scream sounded really genuine there, I wonder if he broke any of his toes"

[methedumbass]

*applause*

middle-earth dashboard simulator

🏵 hobbitc0re Follow

pippin was 29 years old???

🏵 hobbitc0re Follow

he should've been at the green dragon

( 420 notes )

📸 daily-middle-earth-photos Follow

#gates of argonath #argonath #amon hen #middle earth landscapes #photographers of middle earth #travel #dark academia #lmao pls reblog this i almost fell out of my boat taking this photo

( 79 notes )

🦢 elfposting Follow

my hungry ass could never travel with lembas

( 9,839 notes )

🐟 sojuicysweet Follow

.

#the entitlement i see on this site sometimes is disgusting #y'all will just post about having easy access to lembas when we can't eats hobbit food??? #we must starve??? #vent #do not rb

( 3 notes )

🗡 shieldmaiden Follow

CALLOUT FOR GRIMA WORMTONGUE

I've talked a lot about this already on this blog, but I want to have everything collected in one post so next time some dipshit with a white hand icon slides into my inbox to call me a liar I can just link to this post. tl;dr grima wormtongue has been poisoning my uncle and the land of rohan for the past few years, and here are the receipts:

Keep reading

( 38 notes )

🧙‍♂️ bignaturals Follow

i stg if one more of you tells me I should've sent frodo on the eagles I'm asking iluvatar to take me back

( 1,930 notes )

📖 booknerdofbree Follow

recent read: there and back again: a hobbit's tale by bilbo baggins

I thought this was SOOO fun and cute! I'm usually not into rpf but did anyone else think there was something between bilbo and thorin? 👀 I can't be the only one who saw it. but the ending made me cry my eyes out.

4.5/5 stars

#booklr #there and back again #bilbo baggins #recent read #dark academia #light academia #book review

( 12 notes )

🌲 elvenking69 Follow

who up mirking they wood

( 58,274 notes )

🐛 manofsirith Follow

wtf the new king of gondor just bowed to these four random short guys?? everyone else bowed too and I just went along with it lmao 😅 am I missing something????

#this is right after he sang a song and made out with some hot elf chick #truly the wildest coronation i've ever been to

( 85 notes )

🥵 firstagebaddiebracket Follow

ULTIMATE HOTTEST FIRST AGE BADDIE TOURNAMENT FINALS!!!!

🔘 haldir-deactivated30190303

here y'all go again pitting two bad bitches against each other

🌀 aragornsbigtoe Follow

🌊 helcaraxebaby Follow

everyone who voted galadriel is a kinslayer apologist #luthiensweep

( 4,271 notes )

🔥 beaconboi Follow

fuck my job so much. everyone manifest an attack on gondor so I can finally warm my fingers on this beacon fire.

🔥 beaconboi Follow

by eru this can't be happening

( 38,386 notes )

[methedumbass]

[methedumbass]

J. R. R. Tolkien: no, my books aren't about the war I experienced. It's just a story

J. R. R. Tolkien's works: you cannot go home, war ends entire bloodlines, you are mourning the death of your brother alone, you dug into the earth and permanently scored the land, you cannot explain what you have been through, you cannot go home, "that wound will never fully heal. He will carry it the rest of his life", leaving the women behind does not save them, the young die first, you cannot go home, the parent will bury their child, you have lost the wives and you will never connect with them again, "how shall any tower withstand such numbers and such reckless hate?", you are not the same, you cannot go home, you can never go home, your father will only side with those he sees as worthy bloodlines and you cannot change his mind, it is more meaningful Not to kill, sometimes your sacrifice accomplishes nothing, you cannot go home

[methedumbass]

🗡That will depend on the manner of your return 🏹

[methedumbass]

never forget when saruman literally told gandalf "you've been smoking too much weed bro"

[methedumbass]

I love social media

[methedumbass]

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

🎬 Peter Jackson

+ IMDb trivia

[methedumbass]

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

🎬 Peter Jackson

+ IMDb trivia