mellowgoals

[mellowgoals]

August 11, 2019

I haven't been able to get away from anyone. And it sucks because it's harder to cope and achieve my goals when this happens. Going to the gym tonight again, helps me get away and bonus points for working out!

Ice cold water has been my go-to today. I'm so dehydrated it's not even funny.

My head is pounding! Nap before gym. Then going home to clean. I have two days off and I'll be alone the whole time.

[mellowgoals]

August 10, 2019 #1

Today I'm gonna be doing a multi part entry just because I think it will help me focus.

My significant other is spending today at home and the other person I live with is out of town. Bonus: I didn't wake up to my significant other trying to feed me as soon as I opened my eyes. He does that often. Sweet gesture and sometimes it's nice and I accept this, but other days the last thing I want to do is to wake up to a high carb high fat high sugar breakfast in bed. Usually I'll have the coffee he makes me because he knows how I like my coffee, but the food I'll take a few bites of and then when he leaves I toss it under the kitty litter in the trash we have for that. He doesn't know and I want to keep it that way.

Today the coffee machine was broke at the gas station I go to. I didn't have time to make any before work either, So the lowest calorie coffee they had was 200. 200 calories for COFFEE. What a rough morning. Ice water and coffee it is. I also got a cheese stick (70 cals) and a protein bar for lunch (180 cals)

Still trying to figure out how I'll be getting out of dinner tonight. Running count: 450 cals for most of today.

[mellowgoals]

[mellowgoals]

I’m so tired of being fat. This time I will lose weight, I don’t care what it takes.

[mellowgoals]

unpopular opinion:

binge eating and food addiction are ed just as valid as anorexia or bulimia

[mellowgoals]

ED active blogs

My dashboard is like a Desert so please reblog if you

🐝 have an ed

🐝post Ed related stuff

🐝aren’t over 40 Years old

🐝nice and respectful

I will follow everyone who reblogs!

[mellowgoals]

Low cal vegetable stir fry.

This recipe is super delicious and customizable depending on your vegetable & sauce choices.

Ingredients:

2 carrots-50

1/2 onion-17

1 bell pepper-15

1 tsp garlic-5

1/4 jalapeño-4

Black pepper-0

Salt-0

Garlic powder-0

Onion powder-0

1/2 tsp sambal (chili paste)- 0

2 tbsp teriyaki sauce-70

1 tbsp soy sauce-10

INSTRUCTIONS:

Cut up onion and cook for around 3 minutes. Just until it is translucent. Then add your garlic. Season with salt, pepper, garlic and onion powder. Add carrots and cook until fork tended, around 5 minutes. Add bell pepper& jalapeño and season with salt & pepper again. Cook until peppers are to desired softness. Add your sauce ingredients and cook for a few more minutes. Making sure to coat the vegetables with sauce. Serve with rice, noodles, by itself or with rice cakes.

The entire pan is 171 calories! It’s so delicious, healthy and filling.

[mellowgoals]

Goals. It takes patience and time. But I want it now. Please...

[mellowgoals]

Aug 8, 2019

I'm treating this like a personal diary. A place where I can do what I feel the need to do so I can get stuff out without having to burden anyone.

This is my first post, I've been using a secret diary for a while now and using my second phone for inspo pics.

I guess if you're reading this, hello! I won't go into too many personal details on the basis of I don't want people to know "too much" personal information. If that's a thing at least with a disorder like this.

My name is irrelevant, but my story is very relevant to this whole blog situation. I have been diagnosed with EDNOS since I was 12. Basically what that means to me is either I'm having good days or bad days. For me personally, it's been bad for a while now. Not what you'd expect, exact opposite. I *felt* like I was okay but I was the opposite of okay. I went out of control and binge ate for years. I'm not even joking. I went from 115 lbs at my lowest to over 300 from binge eating my life away. Now I sit above 200 but under 300. My ultimate goal is to hit 100. It's a good number really. Not enough to terrify my family or significant other but enough that I feel I would be comfortable. I'm 5 foot 5 so it's not too far off from the "healthy" range of 125 right?

Let's be real. I'm a lard ass. I weigh over 200 lbs and hate myself for it. I'm wearing size 16-18 pants and size XXL shirts and I feel like absolute TRASH.

The thing is, I've been trying. Not hard, but trying to lose weight. I was diagnosed with a plethora of health issues at 16. Including one that basically holds onto weight and fat for fucking dear life while giving me thick nasty hair in places I don't want hair. Which doesn't help much.

Haven't decided exactly how much info I'll share with you guys. But I need to lose weight. I know it's an issue but I'm hoping y'all understand what's going on inside my brain more than most would.

It is what it is, if you want to follow my journey you can. If not, just move on with your life. Just a fat girl trying to be thin again. I will be thin.

Current stats:

246 lbs, 5 ft 5, 16-18, XXL

Food today:

Protein powder smoothie, 430 cal

apple, 80

popcorn, 110

coffee with cream+ zero cal sweetener, 35

Total: 655 cal

Total burned extra (using google fit) : 458 cal

Total burned (typical rate) : 1300 cal

I'm gonna do better tomorrow. I have to. The milk in my protein shake wasn't even needed. I had yogurt already. I should have used water I'm so ridiculous.

[mellowgoals]