medovinarose98

[medovinarose98]

Random Thought I Have....

So... I have an I idea and I told my sister about it.

Why is it that I haven't lost my virginity?

(This is the result of watching episode 1 of Euphoria.)

I have about three chance, never really liked the guys but it was an 'in the moment thing.'

I'm not scared, I'm 23. I have thoughts about wanting to have sex with a man, not a bum boy.

I'm no beauty queen, but I am a treasure lol. I have never been in a relationship, I've done minor things. (Won't Say.)

But my thought is this....

Even though I haven't been with a man or in a relationship, I believe that no man would ever be worthy....

When I me 'worthy' I mean worth giving myself to another person who won't give two fucks about me after the 3 minutes.

Not the men in my town or city or anybody that I have meant, I have my insecurities but no matter the dating apps, the hook up apps there is always those men who swipe right or left but never speak to me, or ask for nudes and sexting.

I'm tired of that, like I've said before I want to have sex, but not with just anyone, or be a random hook up. I believe men like this are not worth my time at all.

I've graduated both high school and college, being a virgin. I don't care what they call me, a prude or whatever.

I'm not bashing anyone or judging, I just wanted to know if I was the only one who has this type of thought.

I'm especially a women who reads fan fiction to get to be able to feel something, anything really. Even hurting my own heart, emotionally of course.

Just the thought of one of my many fictional crushes to actually love, or to be able to feel the idea of being with them is something I'm actually grateful for.

Sorry for rambling but I though this would be a safe place to be able to share something that people could relate too. Please tell me I'm not the only one...

Also I wanted to introduce myself,

Hi my name is Medovina (Mee-doh-vee-na)