meandmyvidyagaems

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I feel pretty terrible overall. Lately I did absolutely nothing. It's eating away at me. I have to do something.

No joke, unsuccessfully looking for work for 6 months now. 6 months. Actively looking. Sending applications to at least 3 places every day. I have gotten a few courteous rejections, but that's a blip compared to the amount sent. No calls, no mails, no nothing.

I've been considering taking up full time streaming just because it's something to do. Lots of hours could turn into immediate results, but that's fickle as can be. But might as well, I never streamed in my life. It seems to be fun once you have people watching you.

That could also be the scary part. I have been too intimidated to even do it. I made a whole thing for it and all. Transitions, brb screens. They're simple, but I did do them. Instead I'm doing nothing.

I could do it. I just need to not be afraid of not sure what.

I'm just tired. Possibly depressed. Everyone is telling me "educate yourself so you can be more hireable". I don't want to do that. I just want to go to a place and do what I need to for 8 hours and then go home. But even that is not an option now. I'm feeling very lost.

But I have to do something. Maybe I will gather the courage soon. Look for me on YouTube gaming live, maybe you'll find me.

I hate the modern world a lot. If streaming became a possibility, not even equalling to a full time job, but just a few bucks. It would be so good. It would be ideal. It would be heaven.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

Tumblr is the best

You can literally scroll and see so much Miku. Or just anime girls. (If you are inclined to do so) (I am inclined to do so).

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I'm just feeling sad. Innate sadness inside.

I don't know why. A million dollars would make it go away for sure.

I hate many aspects of the modern world, but the chase for money is probably the worst part of it.

I just want to exist at a low cost. It's not a lot to ask.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I like paying taxes when I don't know when they're going. It's great. Wonderful even. Some politician is going to get that bag with my money in it.

It's sad that we don't care. I sure don't. I don't even have the ability to really check where it's going.

With so many people, taxes should be able to afford a lot of stuff. Maybe even healthcare for everyone. But they still can't fix roads to a functional degree.

I think we need to do something about this whole government thing.

It's tiring to live in a world where I can't enjoy my time, unless I make someone else rich. And on top of that, other people live off of what I and a lot of other people earn. I wish society would collapse already, we could try again.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

Surely capitalism is the only system that works

[meandmyvidyagaems]

Nothing is going on in my life. Nothing even worth mentioning on this blog. I've been unemployed for 4 months straight and it's driving me insane.

I can't chill, I can't focus on anything. God knows I'm trying. I just need a job, then my life can be the same but slightly worse.

I gotta get on that streaming thing. I want to stream, but it's making me anxious. I want to try it out at the very least.

I've been playing Hypixel SkyBlock for the last 2 weeks, and I feel like it accelerates my brain rot. It's dang addictive, I want to play more of it, but everything just takes so damn long. Even when I have all the time in the world it feels like a waste of time. It's a Minecraft MMORPG server for fucks sake.

I like gaming because it's something that can really pull you in, show you a story, or just be very satisfying to play. Mindless grinding is nice too, I do like Runescape a whole lot, but almost as if it reminds me of my own mortality. Is that what I want to be doing?

I don't know. I don't think so. I should play more actual video games. With stories and stuff. I already only play old shit because new shit sucks for the most part.

I don't know what to do with myself, and that's the result. I hope it'll get better soon.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

open source ftw

Adobe is going to spy on your projects. This is insane.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I don't know who needs to hear this but

.

.

.

Drink water you heccing drymouth bitch. You need it to survive and thrive. We all need it. I know you're comfy in your bed, but your body needs moisture. Drink water now 🌊⛲🐳💧💦🚰

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I hope people will soon realise how fucked up capitalism is all around the world right now. It's all heading downward. Soon regular people with money won't be able to afford to live. Working people, full time people.

We shouldn't be banking on our survival to be coming from the increasingly volatile job market. You only earn less than what you're owed, because they need to profit.

I'm so sick and tired of even looking for a job, working one even less so. It's pointless.

I'll never be able to live the way I want to. And I don't need much. A simple place I could call my own and no food worries.

There's already people who can't get that. I'm one of those people who will never amount to that, maybe if I win the lottery.

It's all fucked. All the way down.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I went on vacation recently, it was super nice. Seeing the sea, the beaches, nice weather. Eating good food. It was very nice.

Right as I got back, my mom got in a fight with me about her own vacation. She can't talk with her sister, and it's my fault somehow. I'm beyond trying to understand what her deal is.

And she likes to point out how jobless I am. Because I still am. This city has only car part factories, and I hate this kind of work. I can't find anything else, but it's obviously my fault.

She's maliciously evil. I don't expect her to do nothing, but maybe some support for your own child? I'm trying my best. It feels bad. I don't want to talk to her anymore.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I'm trying to remove my account, and the "remove account" button leads to a 404. It should be illegal.

LinkedIn is the worst site on the intenret. It's just all capitalism. Greedy self glazing, and people expect you to lick your boss's ass on it. I don't event use it, I just remembered that I have an account on there. It took me a while to find where to remove it. At least I won't get any more spam related to it. We live in a post society.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

LinkedIn is the worst site on the intenret. It's just all capitalism. Greedy self glazing, and people expect you to lick your boss's ass on it. I don't event use it, I just remembered that I have an account on there. It took me a while to find where to remove it. At least I won't get any more spam related to it. We live in a post society.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

Again, unsuccessfully looking for work. It takes so much. I'm tired of it.

I want to go somewhere, do what they need me to do and get paid. None of this career bullshit. I never wanted it. I just want a stable job that doesn't stress me out every day.

But I'll be lucky if I find any job.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I wish

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I like Linux. I like the open source stuff. It's wonderful, and a massive fuck you to the big wigs at Microsoft and apple. But why is it so hard to operate. I don't mean like using it as a daily driver. Stuff just breaks.

I have to switch back again because my GPU started overheating after a driver update on its own. It's unfortunate, but I can't afford to lose this one.

I hope Linux get adopted way more, especially until next year, when win10 loses support. It's horrible, I don't want to switch to windows 11 either. Linux would be perfect, if stuff just worked for once. Not my first stunt with it.

[meandmyvidyagaems]

I hate work. I hate jobs. I hate productivity. I want to be snug as a bug in a rug, I want to be chilling. I want to be comfy, and I want to be sleepy, perhaps nap.

[meandmyvidyagaems]