mckinleysthoughts

[mckinleysthoughts]

Don’t Keep Records of Bad Things

Today my thoughts are entitled “Don’t Keep Records of Bad Things” after I had an epiphany about not keeping records of bad things when I reached for my pen to write a response that was given to me.

  Immediately, I found myself reflecting on those words, knowing that yesterday ended last night.

  Since 1993 I’ve learned and put into practice that after 24 hours I must try and let it go.

  General Colin Powell, the first Black US secretary of state, had 13 rules for life and work, with one of them being “Get made and get over it.”

  If it was good enough for him, it was good enough for me.

  Black American trailblazer Colin Powell’s 13 rules for life and work

  We’re all human and for the most part, I’ve been successful employing various hacks tied to emotional intelligence regarding self-regulation and self-awareness.

  If you have not read any emotional intelligence books, I challenge you to invest some time reading and working on creating a high emotional intelligence (EQ).

  Over the last five years, I have somewhat redefined what it means to let things go and better understand the triggers that bring them from an unconscious to a conscious state of being.

  “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion.”  ~ Dale  Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

  Regardless of the situation, I know if I let my humanity get in front of my divinity, I will end up taking on something I don’t need in my life, particularly negative thoughts.

  Jim Kwik calls them ANTS, (Automatic Negative Thoughts).

  Stop the ANTs in Your Head with These Three Exercises — Jim Kwik

  What about you?  Do you have a mechanism in place that automatically takes you back into your unconscious mind and tells you to stop?

  Therefore, if you are going to stop keeping records of bad things, I recommend that you first think about ways to prevent it.

  Maybe it’s staying distracted, praying, taking time to meditate, working on various time-consuming tasks, going for a walk, or just solid mental acuity.

  I mentioned earlier that yesterday ended last night for a reason because for me that’s part of my thought process for letting things go.

  Many of you also understand my mantra from the Dali Lama “Don’t let the behaviors of other people destroy your inner peace.”

  How many people do you know who like to keep records of bad things?

  There’s probably a reason that they keep records of bad things.

  As I listen to people recount the hurts they carry with them, many ask me, “Is it sinful to keep a record of how others have hurt me?” They are thinking about 1 Corinthians 13:5, which says, “[Love] keeps no record of wrongs.” I find this question central for abuse victims.

  Is It Sinful to Keep a Record of Wrongs? | CCEF Blog

  Besides, there is a danger of keeping score when people do bad things.

  The Danger of Keeping Score

  Years ago, I remember hearing when we hold grudges and allow various thoughts to enter our minds or are not willing to let things go, we are drinking the other person’s poison.

  Maybe you have heard those words or experienced them as well.

  I learned about joy robbers over twelve years ago.

  I also served as an Army Civilian Master Resilience Trainer (MRT) who, in turn, taught the skills of being resilient to my subordinates, and other Army civilians. Every day we should try to Hunt for the Good Stuff (HTGS).

  Resiliency: Hunt the Good Stuff > Charleston District > Charleston District News Stories

  DPRR: Create Positive Emotions

  Joy robbers are everywhere and ironically this past weekend at Mass, Joy was part of the message from the letter of Paul to the Philippians.

  Dealing with Joy Robbers – Pathway to Victory

  I’m forever grateful that having faith is an important part of my life for not keeping records of bad things.

  Ironically, also this week the third candle was lit for Advent symbolic of Joy.

  There is a difference between joy and happiness.

  The definition of joy is “a feeling that is evoked by wellbeing or good fortune,” whereas happiness is defined as a “state of wellbeing.” This implies that joy occurs for a brief, defined period of time, whereas happiness is a state of being that is, for the most part, ongoing.

  Joy Vs. Happiness: What’s The Difference? | BetterHelp

  Today, take some time and ask yourself what records of bad things you are keeping and what purpose are they serving you.

  Maybe it’s a specific ego you are dealing with that could get you in trouble. This is another example of letting your humanity get in front of your divinity.

  A person with a fragile ego has weak and inconsistent self-esteem. Their sense of self-worth is volatile and subject to the whims of life circumstances and others’ judgments.

  7 Signs of a fragile ego & how to fix it

  As I close with the knowledge that I may be speaking to the choir on this topic, therefore, if something resonates, I would love to hear about your various hacks or mechanisms in place.

  On the other hand, if I’m speaking to you try and find a way to better understand why this is important in the long run.

  I don’t want you to merely just to survive, I want you to thrive in all aspects of life.

  On this Monday morning, “I still have joy” as Joe Pace sings the lyrics which are part of the hacks I have in place.

  Each of us needs encouragement along the way and I challenge you to find yours and accept it in any way you can.

  Bing Videos

  “Love keeps no record of wrongs, but bitterness keeps detailed accounts.”  ~Craig Groeschel

  https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/bible-study/what-is-the-significance-of-the-phrase-love-keeps-no-record-of-wrongs.html

  Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/dont-keep-records-of-bad-things/

[mckinleysthoughts]

What Actions Define Your Character?

Have you ever thought about what defines your character and what others see in you as you that defines your character without any words spoken?

  For me to do justice for this topic, today’s blog is intentionally a bit longer.

  I could give you various quotes instead I’m giving you various insights to ponder.  Something inside of me always goes back to the character of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr as it relates to my character and leadership.

  Why might you ask?  Because I wanted you to understand the word character while honoring our 39th President of the United States.

“The ultimate measure of leaders is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

  Martin Luther King Jr | The Ultimate Measure Of A Man Quote | Successful Spirit

  I’m always interested in how others see me.  Not that it matters that I’m going to change; however, to better understand my character because within my faith I want them to see Christ in me just like many use us saw Christ in Jimmy Carter.

Also, I believe it is worth mentioning the character of Jimmy Carter who died peacefully in his home, on December 29, 2024, at the age of 100 is one that some didn’t fully understand until he died.

  Not long ago I came upon the YouTube video below of Vusi Thembekwayo, which helps my blog this week.

  “You are ahead of where you are and will die before the world gets to where the world gets to know.” ~ Vusi Thembekwayo

  That quote alone speaks volumes about Jimmy Carter.

  Experience Vusi Thembekwayo’s Inspiring Leadership Talk in India!

  When you think about our 39th President of the United States being awarded the 2002 Nobel Peace Prize for his work in finding peaceful solutions to international conflicts, advancing democracy and human rights, and promoting economic and social development; this alone is a milestone achievement.

  I’m also sure his family and friends have truly appreciated the life lessons learned from his lifetime as well as I.

  Jimmy Carter was ahead of his time which we learned about this past week.

  What an honor as I watched this past Thursday (January 9, 2025) along with the rest of the world the State Funeral of former President Jimmy Carter being televised from Washington National Cathedral.

  The Washington National Cathedral is beautiful and is the second-largest cathedral capable of seating 4000 people.

  Washington National Cathedral | History & Facts | Britannica

  It was also a National Day of Mourning that I took advantage of in listening intently to what was being said about Jimmy Carter.

  President Jimmy Carter’s character was on full display.

  In addition, having the Reverend Andrew Young speak at this historical event was an added touch.  I thought about the character of Rev. Andrew Young as he spoke about his time with Dr. Martin Luther King and being able to give his eulogy comments for President Jimmy Carter.  Both men Reverend Andrew Young spoke about embracing the civil rights movement.  Although the Reverend Andrew Young was unable to stand at his age, what a remarkable presence he made.

  Joshua Carter, the grandson of Jimmy Carter spoke about his grandfather’s Sunday School Classes and Bible lessons taught each Sunday.

  Joshua Carter, grandson of Jimmy Carter, reads at state funeral | Watch

  Joshua also told us what he learned about the “growing chasm between the richest and the poorest people on earth.”  We can infer from listening to Joshua Carter that there was so much humility being displayed each Sunday as his grandfather helped those in need.

  Joshua read a scripture from the Apostle Paul’s Letter to the Romans: (Chapter 8: 1-18 38, 39)

  Romans 8:1-18,Romans 8:38-39 NIV – Life Through the Spirit – Therefore, – Bible Gateway

  Romans 8 NIV – Life Through the Spirit – Therefore, – Bible Gateway

  Jimmy Carter honored for humility and service at funeral | AP News

  In addition, I learned there were some notable quotes associated with Jimmy Carter’s character.

  Jimmy Carter’s funeral had many notable quotes | AP News

  In case you missed it I have provided several links to review.

  From Carter’s funeral, an American snapshot: A singular image, 5 presidents, 379 years of history | Britannica

  I also took note of the character being displayed of all the five living Presidents in attendance and how they interacted with each other.

  Being part of the President’s Club is another aspect of the character that is something to consider.

  Interestingly enough, I watched the dynamics of each member of the President’s Club and their character, particularly as George Bush walked in and how the various people already seated greeted and acknowledged each other.

  Until you understand the premise of “ingroups and out-groups”, then you won’t understand what I am saying.

  What are ingroups and outgroups, you may ask?

  Ingroups and Outgroups: How Social Identity Influences People – Effectiviology

  I challenge you to re-watch the recording for yourselves, it’s over three and a half hours long.  However, it is worth every minute of watching the characters involved in this historic event.

  ‘A life of service’: President Jimmy Carter’s state funeral, Georgia memorials replay

  Jimmy Carter funeral: All 5 living presidents attend ceremony

  Initially, I thought about the song by the Shirelles- “Mama Said. “Mama told me there would be days like this when people look at you differently.

  Jimmy Carter’s funeral captures the American story at a fraught political moment | CNN Politics

  The other aspects of character particularly were those chosen for specific duties during his funeral.  The character of the men and women who brave the cold and whipping winds was amazing.

  Band plays “Hail to The Chief” as Carter’s casket is transferred to horse-drawn Caisson

  Bing Videos

  Being a military person of 30 years, I know what it takes to be chosen for those in the special honor guard.

  What it takes to be a presidential pallbearer

  Having the honor to attend President Obama’s Inauguration (2009), in Washington D.C. it was one of the coldest days I had experienced in a long time. It’s a moment in time I will never forget.

  I can envision it was no different for President Carter’s Funeral in 2025.

  Inauguration Spectators Brave Frigid Temps : NPR

  Jimmy Carter funeral: Frigid temperatures expected as nation honors late president | FOX 5 DC

  If you watch the video the wind whipped the person holding the Presidential Flag.  That person had to have plenty of character. He needed all his weight to control the flag.

  Also, watching the family waiting for several minutes in the cold for the casket and color guard to appear was another example of character as they played “Hail to the Chief.”

  In case you’re wondering about the importance of “Hail to the Chief” you can better understand it here below because it is an honor to receive it.

  Why Do We Play ‘Hail to the Chief’ for the President? | Smithsonian

  I’ll close, by saying thank you for allowing me today to honor a man with great character and by allowing others to see his light shine.

  “Your actions define your character, your words define your wisdom, but your treatment of others defines REAL you.”~ Mayur Ramgir

  Today, I challenge you to let your light shine brightly by allowing others to have the proper perspective about you.  The question is what do they see that words cannot express who you are with your character on display for all the world to see?

  Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/what-actions-define-your-character/

[mckinleysthoughts]

Don’t Keep Records of Bad Things

Today my thoughts are entitled “Don’t Keep Records of Bad Things” after I had an epiphany about not keeping records of bad things when I reached for my pen to write a response that was given to me. Immediately, I found myself reflecting on those words, knowing that yesterday ended last night. Since 1993 I’ve learned and put into practice that after 24 hours I must try and let it go. General Colin Powell, the first Black US secretary of state, had 13 rules for life and work, with one of them being “Get made and get over it.”

[mckinleysthoughts]

To everything, there is a Season

“To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

  Let me pose a question to you today.  Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

  Today, I can’t stop thinking about the words from the book of Ecclesiastes 3:1

  My purpose for asking this question is many times at least for me I try to follow or understand what the Holy Spirit is speaking to me about.

  This is not meant to be a sermon or intended to give you any prophecies.  It is however for me to share my faith and understanding God’s grace on my specific calling or purpose in life.

  It’s also about following your intuition in life and being the best version of yourself.

  This past weekend I attended my 50th Class Reunion in Williamsburg, VA and it was spectacular.

  Ironically, a few months prior I was thinking about when my 50th Class Reunion was when one of my friends was telling me about attending her class reunion.

  About 30 days later, I received a letter in the mail from the committee chairperson notifying me of my 50th class reunion.  The letter provided what steps to take on Facebook and the email addresses to contact them if I was going to attend.

  Without hesitation I began to make plans to attend this historic event, knowing 50 years is a milestone that many have yet to experience.

  When I arrived at the Hotel this past Thursday night, one of my classmates, which I didn’t recognize, politely asked me if I was there for the Denbigh High School 50th Class Reunion.

  It was through that conversation that lasted an hour when I found out the last and only class reunion (our tenth year) happened in 1984.

  I also attended our tenth-year class reunion.

  Knowing that information made this past weekend even more special hearing her speak about those she hung out with and that she was responsible for finding the venue for the dinner on Saturday night.

  It was heartbreaking to also hear of those who were deceased and how God has allowed me the opportunity to be in the presence of all those attending this past weekend.

  In addition, during the tour of our high school, we went into the cafeteria, and I asked if it was okay to speak to the Varsity Football Team.  They were assembled there with the coach before they played our rival on Friday night.

  I was given the green light to speak as many of my classmates who listened to me also attended the game and tried to reenergize our losing team to excel.  It was an experience that you just had to be there to experience.

  Although we may have lost the football game, in spirit, we won by being present for our team.

  Embracing “Everything happens for a reason,” and what took place this weekend was the fellowship and seeing each other while everyone caught up on each other’s lives and events.

  Knowing that family is important, anytime I’m close or in the vicinity of where I grew up, I also spent some time with two of my siblings, which made it special.  I was also able to pay my respects by visiting my mother’s gravesite with one of my sisters who lives in the area.

  This weekend although fast-paced pace reminded me of Seals & Crofts – We May Never Pass This Way Again.

Bing Videos

  Today, I realize how blessed I am knowing fifty years ago to have graduated from High School, gone straight into the Army, attained the rank of Command Sergeant Major, and retired twice (Military and Civilian).

  It’s a humbling experience when you find out those who are not here today, and you are by the grace of God.

  I am so glad that I listened to the Holy Spirit in deciding to attend my 50th class reunion.  Had I not I would not have connected with who our family affectionately calls “Mom’s Angel!”  (Karen).  My mother worked for Dr. Karen as her Dental Assistant.

  After Dr. Karen retired, she and my mother forged a bond well beyond anything we could imagine.  Karen would drive from Williamsburg to Hampton, which on a good day is a 30-minute drive when traffic is flowing well.  Karen would take my mother to hospital appointments; help clean her house while living in an Assisted Living Community and pick up her medications for her.

  This is why we call her Mom’s Angel.

  I was Dr. Karen’s last weekend in Williamsburg, VA before moving to Colorado to assist her daughter.

  Karen made a special trip to visit me and my wife on Friday, which was ironically All Saint’s Day.

  On Saturday, I visited my Mother’s Gravesite which was All Souls Day.

  I could not have planned what happened this weekend any better.

  The entire weekend was humbling and rewarding. A tour of our school, Pizza at a local (nostalgic establishment) that celebrated 50 years of existence, a Football Game, and a Banquet.

  When I read the names of my classmates who were deceased and looked at all the pictures displayed many died before they turned 50 years old.

  I may not know of the specific circumstances behind their deaths; however, I do know that each of them is my classmates and it’s by God’s grace that I’m here today.

  Today, I challenge everyone to take a moment and reflect on the words “Everything there is a season, and everything happens at just the right time.”

  Each of us is blessed to be alive and in sound mind.

  “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ~ Mae West

  Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/to-everything-there-is-a-season/

[mckinleysthoughts]

What’s Your Code?

As many prepare for the Thanksgiving holiday, I’m asking you what’s your code. What is it that unlocks within you that makes you the person you are today? I recently visited one of my favorite chicken restaurants and they were playing Christmas music. Christmas music is one of my favorite times of the year because it only happens for a short time. Sure, we can listen to Christmas music all year if we want; however, it is a time when it sets or unlocks for me one of my codes.

[mckinleysthoughts]

To everything, there is a Season

“To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 Let me pose a question to you today. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Today, I can’t stop thinking about the words from the book of Ecclesiastes 3:1 My purpose for asking this question is many times at least for me I try to follow or understand what the Holy Spirit is speaking to me about. This is not meant to be a sermon or intended to give you any prophecies. It is however for me to share my faith and understanding God’s grace on my specific calling or purpose in life.

[mckinleysthoughts]

Grief and Bereavement

Today, let’s talk about “Grief and Bereavement” which is something that is overlooked in many ways.

The Best Teacher in Life is Experience. ~ Lebron James Those words may not mean anything to you or sound hollow unless you have had the experience of going through what is called grief or bereavement.

Grief and bereavement are related to loss, but they are not the same thing.

[mckinleysthoughts]

You Don’t Know Me!

Recently, I had to stop and think about the words that came out of a parishioner’s mouth when she said, “You’re a brave person by going to back-to-back Masses.”

Now and then I attend both the Saturday Vigil Mass at 5:PM and depending on the event or organization, I must also attend the Sunday morning 11:15 AM Mass.

However, after those words were said to me, I said to myself you don’t know me very well.

At first, I thought about the character of this person and then I thought about how long I’ve known them.

Then I thought about my character being challenged if had I said anything back to the person.

[mckinleysthoughts]

Curtis Leadership and Training

Curtis Leadership and Training is founded on continuously adding value to others. Service to others is a crucial component and the guiding principle by which Curtis Leadership and Training exist. It’s always committed to providing the best possible services while consistently exceeding customer expectations.

Know more: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/courses/

[mckinleysthoughts]

Embracing Change

If I were to ask a question of how you navigate change your answer would be on many levels of thought.

Your answer would partly derive from your ability in being adaptable.

Adaptable Definition & Meaning – Merriam-Webster

Each of us must be able to adjust to new conditions as I’m reminded of the book “Who Moved My Cheese? An Amazing Way to Deal with Change in Your Work and in Your Life” by Dr. Spencer Johnson.

There are four characters in Who Moved My Cheese. Sniff and Scurry (The Mice) and Hem and Haw, (The Little people) who navigated the maze all had characteristics readily seen in people.

[mckinleysthoughts]

Self-mastery could be anything

If I were to ask, what areas of self-mastery are you most proud of, what would it be?

Self-mastery could be anything.

When I think about self-mastery, it could be driving, washing dishes, cooking, or being self-sufficient.

Why self-mastery, you ask? I say, why not give yourself the credit you deserve? At the same time, what are we doing to perfect our gifts and share them with others?

[mckinleysthoughts]

Leadership Development Coach: The Catalyst for Organizational Growth

Leadership development is not just a buzzword; it is a critical component of any organization that aims to thrive in a competitive market. Effective leaders inspire their teams, foster innovation, and drive the company’s vision forward. However, leadership is not an inherent trait; it is a skill that can be cultivated. This is where a Leadership Development Coach comes into play.

[mckinleysthoughts]

State of Mind

This week, I’d ask you to consider what state of mind you have been in lately.

Better yet, have you had any “Whoosah” moments?

Whoosah is a slang expression variously used to indicate or achieve a state of calm and relaxation.

Particularly when you don’t have anywhere to go, you can let your mind wander or relax. I decided to relax.

However, how do you put yourself in the proper frame of mind in California, celebrating 100 years of Toastmasters down the street from Disneyland?

On top of that, the second day you’re in California, there is an earthquake.

Between the peaks and valleys and various roller coaster thoughts, I wasn’t on vacation but on an adventure that would be an incredible seven-day journey. Over the last seven days (August 11, 2024, through August 17, 2024), I had the unique opportunity to be in a specific state of mind during our Annual Toastmasters Convention in Anaheim, California.

It was our centennial celebration!

What was interesting for me was being with and around like-minded people who brought Toastmasters into their minds and worlds.

Notably, being around so many like-minded people, with the majority present having the Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) designation behind their names, me included.

The Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) award represents the highest level of educational achievement in Toastmasters.

Even though we were celebrating 100 years in the area where Dr. Ralph C. Smedley, our founder, created the vision of Toastmasters, something was different.

My state of mind during the Annual Toastmasters Convention had me reflecting on why I was here and the opportunity to attend a Toastmasters meeting at the first club established. (Smedley Chapter One Toastmasters Club in Santa Ana, California.) Founders District!

The meeting theme was “Walk in the footsteps of Ralph Smedley.”

I physically took a tour from his Church to the YMCA building, which all happened under the vision of Dr. Ralph C. Smedley. To be clear, Toastmasters International is a nonprofit educational organization that builds confidence and teaches public speaking skills through a worldwide network of clubs that meet online and in person.

Toastmasters International, as the name implies, has approximately 270,000 members in more than 14,000 clubs in 150 countries.

Seeing and hearing each of the 150 countries’ names and flags during the opening ceremony or the parade of flags this week was a state of mind.

Our newest country, added to the list less than six weeks ago, was Mauritius, officially the Republic of Mauritius.

During one of our leadership training sessions, I had a NEXUS moment when the gentleman introduced himself and gave me his card.

All the top three leaders of each district (known as the Trio) attended workshops in their specific areas, and the gentleman from the Republic of Mauritius was also a Program Quality Director, like me.

It was electrifying during the opening ceremony on Wednesday night, with the entire Toastmasters community present.

Sitting in the audience, I thought about the connection of my two grandsons’ father, who has roots in Mauritius because his mother is from that island.

Today, many speakers, myself included, give credit to their experiences with Toastmasters.

Yet, every day, people have no idea of the benefits of Toastmasters International.

It’s an organization where members invest in themselves at a small cost of $60 every six months. Those joining the first time also pay a new member fee of $20, which supports your designated pathway projects.

The Toastmasters International tagline is “Where Leaders are Made.”

When I think about leaders and Toastmasters, I also think about a call to action.

Each of us wants our listeners to take action after hearing our speeches. With Toastmasters, the learning never stops. Join Toastmasters, and you will:

Toastmasters is not about flying alone like the Eagles; it’s more about being a pigeon and flocking together to help each other succeed.

  As they say, “Don’t be afraid to be outnumbered; Eagles fly alone, pigeons flock together.”

I admit my adventure never stopped, as the first leg of my trip back home took me to Atlanta. I heard babies crying on the plane and watched an individual needing medication as I hustled to get from Concourse A to D to catch my connecting flight.

As luck would have it, I made it to my seat within twenty minutes, and the aircraft closed its doors, not knowing it would be grounded from taking off because of the thunderstorms in Atlanta.

I learned that they had weather birds or spotters in the air to determine the best routes for things like this.

  It didn’t matter to me because I was on the plane and had nowhere to go but home.

There was no connection except to get in the car.

As I thought about everything I had been through the entire week, waiting for the storm to pass was the least of my worries.

Today, I challenge you to think about the state of mind you have been in lately and all those “Whoosah” moments. Where you able to achieve a state of calm and relaxation?

  Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/state-of-mind/

[mckinleysthoughts]

An Act of Kindness

When did you last pay attention to your surroundings, and were you kind?

  After September 11, 2001, or 9-11, many of us, myself included, paid closer attention to our surroundings when we walked into any building or restaurant.

  It would be fourteen years later that out of nowhere, we were forced to pay closer attention in our churches after the mass shooting at the historic Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C.

  Charleston church shooting | June 17, 2015 | HISTORY

  Have you ever had a moment where you asked yourself if only people could see what you see?

  This past Saturday, I had such a moment or experience as I stood at the podium praying the Rosary before the congregation’s start of the 5 PM Vigil Mass.

  It was a moment of reflection and gratitude, witnessing several years of being part of the church and seeing the same parishioners walk through the doors before Mass.

  In most churches, people tend to sit in the same pews each Saturday or Sunday.

  I am a Saturday Vigil Mass person and have primarily sat in the same area for four years.

  As I patiently awaited my rotation with the other person saying the decade, my inner thoughts were, “I wonder if people could only see what I see.”

  The opportunity to watch people entering through the doors and going to their specific pews brought me gratitude in various ways.

  It all started when I noticed a very active parish couple enter the sanctuary.  The wife was escorting her husband, who was disabled, to find a seat to sit.  If only you could have seen the smiles on both of their faces walking in and sitting down and interacting with each other.

  For me, it was the wife giving her husband all the attention he needed and the husband being grateful for his wife’s arm as she escorted him to his pew.  I would call it a badge of honor.

  Too many times I’ve seen disabled people struggling, yet they grin and bear it, while others are oblivious to their physical challenges.

  While seeing it from the pulpit, I had not witnessed that specific act of kindness until this past Saturday.

  The genuine concern, boldly given that I’m here for you and that you are my priority, is what I felt,

  I also intentionally looked at the facial expressions as I stood looking out.  It was something about the demeanors or their conduct of manner through the actions of those entering the church as each person found their way to sit down.

  I noticed how some held the hands of their spouse or significant other while others honored their commitment by attending Mass.

  As one who fully understands the concepts behind the book “The Starfish and the Spider” by Ori Brafman, I have an inside view that others do not have. I was trained for five weeks by the author to think, act, and operate more decentralized.

  Mainly because many have never read the book “The Starfish and the Spider” or even know why only a few of us are trained in this concept. As Walter Brennan would say in The Guns of Will Sonnett, “No brag just fact.”

  I thought about everyone there each week doing their specific duties to help make the church operate in a decentralized manner, myself included.

  “The Starfish and the Spider by Ori Brafman explores the power and potential of decentralized organizations and their ability to thrive in today’s interconnected world.”

  https://irevolutions.org/2010/01/09/starfish-spider-decentralization/

  It’s hard to believe that almost 14 years ago, in October 2010, I was one of the few selected by the Army to receive training in these concepts and be taught by the author Ori Brafman.

  After completing the course in November 2010, before Thanksgiving, my signed copy of the book is one of my prized possessions.

  I count my Starfish training as a privilege and continue to use it today.

  You and I pay attention to various things, and sometimes, what we need to pay attention to what is right under our noses; however, we can’t see it.

  We’re too busy being distracted and are caught off guard when others find what we are looking for.

  Today, I challenge you to take a few minutes and ask yourself if you are paying attention to your surroundings and being kind.

  I also ask that you think about the various insights you’ve had this past week through the act of paying attention.

  My specific insights, for example, this past week was seeing children growing up and watching parents beam with pride.

  One of the Parishioners I serve with as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, who usually sits either in front or behind me, had their oldest son at Mass this weekend.

  I’ve seen him before during the holidays and when school is not in session.

  As I greeted the family, I asked, “Is this the West Pointer?”

  The short answer was yes, and an acknowledgment that their younger daughter, who recently graduated high school, is now witnessing what West Point was all about as a first-year Plebe or a Fourth Class Cadet compared to her brother.

  As I close, I must reflect on the wife who showed kindness in caring for her disabled husband.

  In the military, we are taught and reminded that someone is always watching us without knowing it.  Therefore, our actions sometimes speak louder than our words.

  As Bob Kerrey say’s, “Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.

  The Starfish training I mentioned today taught me kindness and changed how I see things.  Ori Brafman’s final comment to us before graduation was to be kind.

  These are words I have never forgotten.  This past weekend was my reminder to be kind to others.

  Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/an-act-of-kindness/

[mckinleysthoughts]

Cares of the World

Every day, people, me included, can get caught up in the cares of this world if we are not careful.

While traveling through a local area of town, I noticed all the various businesses and shops serving a specific community. I could not discern if they were thriving; however, I did not need their services. I am blessed and grateful, knowing my life could have been different.

My mind immediately thought that some of these businesses only exist to play on the hearts of others as it relates to the cares of this world.

[mckinleysthoughts]

An Act of Kindness

When did you last pay attention to your surroundings, and were you kind?

After September 11, 2001, or 9-11, many of us, myself included, paid closer attention to our surroundings when we walked into any building or restaurant.

It would be fourteen years later that out of nowhere, we were forced to pay closer attention in our churches after the mass shooting at the historic Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C.

[mckinleysthoughts]

Going the Distance

Today, three words inspired me: “Going the Distance.”

  When I retired from the military after 30 years in 2004, I received an autographed picture of my favorite Country Music Singer, Toby Keith.

  Unfortunately, he finished his race last Monday, February 5, 2024.

May he rest in peace.

  Toby Keith Cause of Death: Stomach Cancer Symptoms, Causes And More (today.com)

  My question is, what round, quarter, or time in your life are you in?

  I realize that might not mean much to some of you; however, let me add more context to my question.

  This past weekend, while visiting the city of New Orleans for Mardi Gras, I thought about all the people going great distances to assemble for the various parades and events.  I witnessed people from different parts of the United States.

  Then, before the 0700 AM Mass on Sunday morning, I attended St. Rose de Lima Catholic Church in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi.   I met two people interested in where I was from, not being a local parishioner there.

  What you don’t know is that for over 38 years, I have, in some shape, form, or fashion visited St. Rose de Lima Catholic Church in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi, multiple times with my wife.  My wife was the last class to graduate when the church had a school associated with it.

  Nonetheless, ironically, my wife decided not to make the trip this weekend, and I had promised after Mass in the morning that I would return home.

  Through the conversations, they knew my wife and her older brother, who attended St. Rose de Lima Catholic School.

  Immediately, I thought about a person preparing to go the distance.  You and I, for the most part, probably have a favorite sport or activity we like to play, which requires us to go the distance in preparation.

  Therefore, I also see it as going the distance as it relates to how well we have lived.  Can we now do what we used to, and what preparation is required to continue these things?

  Not knowing the two people I met, I gave them clues about who I was associated with as my weak ties became strong ties connecting my wife’s family with them.  Both of the people I met went to the same school with my wife and knew her late brother, who passed away years ago.

  I always find it interesting to see the six degrees of separation between the people I meet and their connections with me.

  My question to you this morning is, when people start connecting the dots in your life, what might they say about you?  How far have you gone in making a difference in someone’s life?  How far back will they reach as they remember you, negative or positive?

  We only have a specific amount of time on this earth, so why not make a difference while we can?  I’m also aware that each person has a resolve to do certain things or not in life.

  As I walked away from the people I met over the weekend, I wondered if my weak ties that started the conversation became strong ties.

  When someone calls your name today, how well will they remember you going the distance, or are you already knocked down?

What history are you making for yourself?

  There is something about achieving dreams and making history, like last night’s Super Bowl for those in attendance.

  Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/going-the-distance/