maudsparrow

[maudsparrow]

Like Emily Said

To me, life seems to be forever painful

but loving you eases it.

The way I love you reminds me of the capacity

I contain to love myself that very same way.

In that love I find hope.

Hope is the thing with feathers.

And my hope soars.

Maud Sparrow, 2024

[maudsparrow]

Delight

What a delight it is

To taste the

Crisp air

Like an apple

forbidden.

My body glistens

green and gold.

No other hand

will reach out

I grab my own

and try not to fall.

Maud Sparrow, 2024

[maudsparrow]

Best Time

Simply, I’m too sensitive to be alive

In my purest loneliness,

sulking and aching for what I abandoned

Isn’t this what I wanted?

Now is the best place,

Best time! Alone

Oh but how alone could I be?

I’ve got myself.

But isn’t this what I wanted?

To be truly alone and then gone?

Well I’m alone now.

Maud Sparrow, 2021

[maudsparrow]

The Fetish

I can only deduce your love through fear

I want you to worry for me

to be scared of what I may do

I want to be your anxiety

I want my torture to be yours too

an amatory plague on the brain

unsought, it turns me on

thinking about you thinking about me

I only lust for the lugubrious

its not right, it’s sick as a matter of fact

I want to want pure love

but the plague is all I know

Maud Sparrow, 2023

[maudsparrow]

Dreamworld

I am fully checked out and uninterested in real life. I am now in full time daydream mode. real life is just setting up the play I want to make and time is ticking just right.

My lust for demise is more fervent than any other. To just return to dreamworld with my fingers crossed, hoping I’m lucky enough to receive it as my next world.

Maud Sparrow, 2022

[maudsparrow]

Agdistis Weeps

Agdistis weeps Clad with two weapons of nature Those Phrygians cannot fathom your glory The gods cursed you forebodingly An almond tree, forlorn nevertheless, blooming

Dear Agdistis, we are your spirit You are not Zeus's contemptuousness You are not Gaia's infirmity You are hope

Do not weep as Attes will live on In eternal love

Maud Sparrow, 2023

[maudsparrow]

Torment

don’t ask me why i look so sad I've been like this forever only now I'm more pitiful accompanied only by the spiders and shadows and a nurse each quarter hour I rot in a different bed floating an ocean of torment it's me and my illusion I think I love the derangement I dream of ropes and rocks ladders and electric cords brick walls and speeding cars the ocean is crashing beneath me it's whispering my name "torment, torment, torment" my true being is recognized only by pain it is what I am

​Maud Sparrow, 2023

[maudsparrow]

The Chase

I took a walk and got chased by dog it looked just like you. you told me “I miss you” while I was in your arms

this cycle is inevitable, the cycle back to you I can’t chase off this dog when we’re running in circles. but you hold my head when you hug me and so the chase continues.

I took a walk and got chased by a dog it looked just like you. you kissed me on the cheek when you thought I was asleep I’m back to you again

I had a dream we hugged and you told me to get over you. It was realer than reality. I want to hug you and hold your head on my heart.

Maud Sparrow, 2022

[maudsparrow]

Release & Advance

love will only abandon the abandonment is consistent always only in altered states always codependent

I'm skinnier now if that makes you want me maybe you liked me better blonde did you like me better blonde?

I'm getting closer to a place where I can hate you but I can't accept that I'm not the one you look to

once I can release and advance once I stop smelling the lavender  once I can drive down aspen again

I feel a pit in my stomach  when I see mars in the sky with your incapability you will never know why

​Maud Sparrow, 2021

[maudsparrow]

Moon on Fire

this earth reads like hot air blood in your eyes, mud in your hair the both of us living underground your english foxhound on the burial mound

she rises from the ground with a searing sound north-eastbound she rises from the ground with a searing sound ​north-eastbound

her flaming fervor could never suffice the stinging, spreading wound in me from infecting all that the stars will let me be

my dear you're melting, my dear you're melting, my dear I'm melting

the water told me the moon is often mislead but I'd put stars at your feet and put mars in your head

​Maud Sparrow, 2021