marsymckenzie

[marsymckenzie]

Johnny: I am proud to say that I identify as a morosexual. I am attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight

Gyro: Hey, Johnny. What kind of animal is the pink panther?

Johnny, already taking his clothes off: Gyro you're so fucking stupid!

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i’m a simple human, i see peter parker cry, i cry. 

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panic really does turn you into a complete fucking moron huh

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dont worry… someone out there with a cute face and a beautiful heart is waiting specifically for you

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The Seven Deadly Sins

Has this been done yet?

Based on this post.

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Just annoy him back?!! Y'know like what literally all siblings do?! It's not that deep tbh

Do you know what I hate??

When I was growing up any time my brother upset/hurt/was rude to or downright nasty to me I was told “he’s just doing it to get a rise out of you” “he’s just doing it to annoy you”

Like??? I know?? I know he’s being mean to upset me. I know he’s saying horrible stuff to annoy me. And guess what?? I’m annoyed!!!!

I was literally told not to be upset, because his intentions were to upset me????

How is that not upsetting? Especially to a young girl??

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the ride back to earth after they found out thanos destroyed the stones

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Exposed

me: blushes irl while flirting with a character in a game

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Omh

PB really went this length to let Dark Kermit have a cameo on the first chapter of BB 2 huh. 🐸

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Bloodhound MC has such true chaotic energy like first she deadass tells the Baron he’s trash and then when Mystery Hood Man™️ sneaks into her apartment her response is “you’ll never take me alive!!!” like wow what a dumb and chaotic queen

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Reasons Why Sims Society is Better than Ours

1. Sex is ALWAYS consensual. You can not WooHoo with anyone if they are not 100% into it too. 

2.You can love WHOEVER you want, same sex, opposite sex, aliens, robots, werewolves, ghosts, politicians with no judgement from your neighbors. 

3. Men and Women get paid the SAME amount for the same damn job. Equal fucking rights. 

4. Free health care.

5. It takes less than a minute for police and firefighters to reach any house once dispatched. 

6. If  child is being neglected or abused, a social worker automatically finds out and takes the child away from an unhealthy environment. 

7. Adopting a child is free, easy, and known abusers of children can’t adopt. 98% of Sim orphans find a loving home before they reach their teen years. 

8. Racism is just not a thing. 

9. Universities have free tuition; the only cost is how much it is to live on campus. 

10. The motherlode cheat. 

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hey h ey everyone look at This

incredible

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My lonely ass, committing human transmutation for the 4th time this week: ayy whats up buddy, chum, pal, amigo, homeslice, brotha from a different motha, dawg, fella

Truth, about to take my other arm away, visibly shaking: PLEASE stop coming back

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Life circle of a Loki 

Thor 1: died

.

Avengers (2012): steal the Tesseract

.

Thor TDW: died

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Thor Ragnarok: steal the Tesseract

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Infinity War: died

.

Endgame: steal the Tesseract

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peter: WAIT ITS MOVING

morgan: what is he trying to say?

tony, through the ouija board: I-T-S P-A-S-T Y-O-U-R B-E-D-T-I-M-E G-O T-H-E F-U-C-K T-O S-L-E-E-P