marine-mayday

[marine-mayday]

This is just a rant, you can ignore if you want x

Basically, I had a really bad day yesterday bc of a really fucking stupid thing and instead of dealing with it like I should have, I went out on a walk in the middle of the night, in the rain, alone and didn’t tell anyone. I’ve just come back from a run and I feel so much better but also really idiotic bc I hate that I did something so ridiculous. And I’ve watched too many murder docs to actually think that was a good idea. Anyway, I’m now sitting on the bottom of my stairs and I was scrolling through instagram and I saw a quote about always being second choice and that really resonated. I am so scared of not being enough or being left and being alone for the rest of my life that I don’t actually let anyone in, despite how much I might convince myself I do. And part of that quote was about looking after yourself first, which, I have to be honest, quotes like this I’ve seen previously, I always thought were a little cringy (like this post, sorry) but I actually realised it was right and that I can’t keep putting my self worth on others bc that’s never going to end well and I have to figure out a way to be ok with being by myself or I’ll never be ok with being with others.

Anyway, this whole post is a little rant bc I didn’t want to tell anyone how much I’m struggling, which is not healthy bc I know they can help but I also want to be able to look after myself. Again, not incredibly healthy but we’ll see.

I just sort of wanted someone else to know how I’m feeling, or at least feel like someone else knows what I’m feeling. I know I’ll definitely slip back into the dark place but I’m hoping I’ll be able to get myself out a bit faster and it’ll take me longer to regress. Which again, lots of quotes about this and I didn’t realise how accurate they are.

But thanks to coming to my Ted talk on my life as a mentally ill undergrad psych student.

Peace x

[marine-mayday]

Just know, you can’t escape Will Livingston. He’ll be back. There’s nothing you can do to stop him. THE LAST OF US 2023- • 1.04: Please Hold My Hand

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So you mean the whole of Marvel's Phase 4 was about grief and what's the worst (or best) loss can bring us? I still can't believe I realized this just now rewatching Thor.

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#Despite everything, they didn’t kill him

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"Stop."

Why is this sending me

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joseph’s giggle would literally save me from vecna

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Joe Quinn meets Eddie Munsons heroes: Metallica!

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this is the funniest god damn thing ive ever seen

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Frank + hands — San Luis Obisbo, CA (Nov 21st, 2015)

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“I mean the stache in this movie is a little more groomed. You-you took that photo from the play right, the broadway show? No that was violence, you chose violence, and I’ll never forgive you for it” - Chris Evans for ET Canada

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Part 2 is here!!

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x