malloy-character-death-battle

[malloy-character-death-battle]

name every dave malloy song

includes everything from great comet to his early independent music. see if you can beat my personal best of 226/315!

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I MADE IT 24 HOURS INSTEAD OF A WEEK IM SORRY

Death Battle FINAL ROUND

Rose Red:

she has killed Pearl multiple times, a different way each time. she knows how to commit, despite this taking multiple lifetimes she doesn’t give up. she has so much rage, and she knows how to use it

Goes on an interdimensional scavenger hunt just to get somebody else to kill her sister and her crush. She's got the dedication, folks. She's got the manipulation. She might feel bad about it afterward, but she WILL DO IT.

The Bear:

He’s. a bear… Is at least assumed to be able to change people into crows

if he’s in his incarnation as the bear then bears are pretty strong and they have teeth, as shah zaman he killed A Lot of people, and as the pusher he killed pearl

gaslight gatekeep girlboss dude literally spursa slew of whole multiple life cycles bc he sent someone on a quest who ruins multiple people's lives just so he could get money. sure. going to the grocery store would be faster...but where's the fun? where's the drama?? where's the mildly incestuous relationships???

[malloy-character-death-battle]

Death Battle FINAL ROUND

Rose Red:

she has killed Pearl multiple times, a different way each time. she knows how to commit, despite this taking multiple lifetimes she doesn’t give up. she has so much rage, and she knows how to use it

Goes on an interdimensional scavenger hunt just to get somebody else to kill her sister and her crush. She's got the dedication, folks. She's got the manipulation. She might feel bad about it afterward, but she WILL DO IT.

The Bear:

He’s. a bear… Is at least assumed to be able to change people into crows

if he’s in his incarnation as the bear then bears are pretty strong and they have teeth, as shah zaman he killed A Lot of people, and as the pusher he killed pearl

gaslight gatekeep girlboss dude literally spursa slew of whole multiple life cycles bc he sent someone on a quest who ruins multiple people's lives just so he could get money. sure. going to the grocery store would be faster...but where's the fun? where's the drama?? where's the mildly incestuous relationships???

[malloy-character-death-battle]

FINAL ROUND TONIGHT

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there's no excuse this time. we forgot

- the one who forgets and then suddenly remembers a month later

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Death Battle Round 4

The Bear:

He’s. a bear… Is at least assumed to be able to change people into crows

if he’s in his incarnation as the bear then bears are pretty strong and they have teeth, as shah zaman he killed A Lot of people, and as the pusher he killed pearl

gaslight gatekeep girlboss dude literally spursa slew of whole multiple life cycles bc he sent someone on a quest who ruins multiple people's lives just so he could get money. sure. going to the grocery store would be faster...but where's the fun? where's the drama?? where's the mildly incestuous relationships???

Moby Dick:

it's a fucking whale also a portent of doom, yes it gets punked (spoilers) but the cycle of vengeance continues and (more spoilers) it kills everyone except for one lucky twink this whale hates you personally and will come to your house just to cause damage

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Death Battle Round 4

Balaga:

gosipy old neighbor lady but make it old drunk russian man. unbothered king, just here to drive his troika real fucking fast and drink

Rose Red:

she has killed Pearl multiple times, a different way each time. she knows how to commit, despite this taking multiple lifetimes she doesn’t give up. she has so much rage, and she knows how to use it

Goes on an interdimensional scavenger hunt just to get somebody else to kill her sister and her crush. She's got the dedication, folks. She's got the manipulation. She might feel bad about it afterward, but she WILL DO IT.

[malloy-character-death-battle]

YEAH SORY WE'VE BOTH BEEN OUT OF TOWN we were visting each other

-number one dj fan

holy shit it's been forever sorry guys. next round up soon <3

- the one that can't decide on a name

[malloy-character-death-battle]

holy shit it's been forever sorry guys. next round up soon <3

- the one that can't decide on a name

[malloy-character-death-battle]

Death Battle Round 3

Moby Dick:

it's a fucking whale also a portent of doom, yes it gets punked (spoilers) but the cycle of vengeance continues and (more spoilers) it kills everyone except for one lucky twink this whale hates you personally and will come to your house just to cause damage

Andrey:

tore my heart asunder in a single scene....my complex blorbo

[malloy-character-death-battle]

Death Battle Round 3

The Bear:

He’s. a bear… Is at least assumed to be able to change people into crows

if he’s in his incarnation as the bear then bears are pretty strong and they have teeth, as shah zaman he killed A Lot of people, and as the pusher he killed pearl

gaslight gatekeep girlboss dude literally spursa slew of whole multiple life cycles bc he sent someone on a quest who ruins multiple people's lives just so he could get money. sure. going to the grocery store would be faster...but where's the fun? where's the drama?? where's the mildly incestuous relationships???

Pearl White:

[malloy-character-death-battle]

Death Battle Round 3

The Dragon:

Listen to "Olde English" and tell me why she shouldn't win. She's a venomous dragon AND a scholar and was able to kill Beowulf. Queen behavior honestly

Rose Red:

she has killed Pearl multiple times, a different way each time. she knows how to commit, despite this taking multiple lifetimes she doesn’t give up. she has so much rage, and she knows how to use it

Goes on an interdimensional scavenger hunt just to get somebody else to kill her sister and her crush. She's got the dedication, folks. She's got the manipulation. She might feel bad about it afterward, but she WILL DO IT.

[malloy-character-death-battle]

Death Battle Round 3

Little God:

She can't die. I cannot stress this enough. She is UNABLE TO DIE. Also she is literally God, so...

She’s literally god (at least she thinks). Her age is infinite in both directions!

she could just like. turn you into an inanimate object and then you’d be dead. she could send you into outer space or a black hole or inside a mountain. she could do all sort of things. she ran into a door hard enough to kill herself she could definitely kill someone else

Balaga:

gosipy old neighbor lady but make it old drunk russian man. unbothered king, just here to drive his troika real fucking fast and drink

[malloy-character-death-battle]

i'm making the polls for round three right now!! polls will be up tomorrow!!!

- poll maker

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Shotgun Players Dragon absolutely she would HATE how much killing and destruction she's been forced to cause. The only thing that will finally bring her down is the existential crisis

NYC cast Dragon feels like she's enjoying it deep down, like she just likes being angry and arguing with Beowulf more than she's actually opposed to violence in concept. Her "I'll give you your fucking dragon" is bitter but smarmy and triumphant like she hates fighting but loves winning. Shotgun Players Dragon says it like she's just as mad that she's been forced to break her own morals to get her point across.

-No 1 DJ Fan

I've also been relistening to Beowulf and I've realized that the Dragon/Scholar #3 would probably hate that she's winning so much rn @malloy-character-death-battle

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Love loses!!! Dragon

Mr. Stringer & Henry's fight with the Dragon by @novellag

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ROUND 2 of the MALLOY CHARACTER DEATH BATTLE!!!

Matchups:

Little God Vs Marya D

Beowulf Vs Balaga

The Dragon Vs Mr. Stringer & Henry

Rose Red Vs Samson & Harper

Pierre Vs The Bear

Pearl White Vs The DJ

Moby Dick Vs Beardo

Anatole Vs Andrey

Rules:

All characters must be from a musical associated with Dave Malloy

Matchups are decided based on number of submissions & a random number generator

Play nice! No harassment/bullying/etc

Please read the propaganda when voting, it's no fun if people only vote characters they've heard of :(

Think of each fight as a one-on-one duel, any skills and weapons are fair game, but no calling for backup!

Ties will result in the formation of teams

You may send extra propaganda in asks while a poll is still running