male-pattern-loneliness - Tumblr blog

[male-pattern-loneliness]

This is not the first time I thought someone in my life was dead only to find out they were very much alive. Last time it happened was with a person in my friend group that I did not hang out with or talk to. Everyone in the friend group was so distraught over their death and then unable to understand their emotions when it was discovered that the person was still alive. Now it's happening to me but the difference is that no one announced that my friend was dead. I just assumed because they've had such a hard life and would go months without contact but would always respond if I asked if they were okay. Now it's been radio silence for months. All accounts dead and they left every single thing I could contact them on. Only for me to discover an account on a platform we don't talk on and I saw that their account was online days ago... The day I last tried to contact them. I feel really betrayed.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

Setting boundaries is not something I've ever been good at. I just grun and bear it because I normally can handle it. Now I'm in a sitation where I once again have to decide what my boundaries need to be so that I can be in a healthy relationship or to abandon that relationship so that I can be a healthy me. I havent' decided yet on what I will do.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

Just found out that my friend is not dead as I thought for multiple months now. Turns out I'm being ghosted.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

Just got good news about a legal case from someone I know. Good as in it's going in the right direction, but also conflicting since it's about a complicated relationship. Haven't heard from them since they told me.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

I'm going crazy cause I just got disappointed that I didn't get employee of the month. Why does any validation from this work matter to me? I'm actively looking for new work but I sat here thinking "oh my god, is it finally my time?" Disgusting.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

Just got word from my manager that my letter of concern made it so everyone will get monthly bonuses

[male-pattern-loneliness]

I always feel like I'm terrible at gift giving but I think I did well for my boyfriend's birthday gift. And I even got something for my sister.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

Applied for a job just for fun. The most spontanious thing I've done in ages.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

Been working out! My arms are sore but my knees aren't creaking!

[male-pattern-loneliness]

I'm spending a lot of time working on becoming a better designer! I've always done this but I'm focusing on becoming more dependent. Trying not to use 3rd party platforms and such to keep it scaled down and such. My code is breaking every day lol

[male-pattern-loneliness]

Another layoff at the company I work for :/

[male-pattern-loneliness]

I lost my account that I've had for 6 years, which included a lot of people I can never contact again. I was heart broken the first day but after a bit of time I've come to acceptance rather fast.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

My internet friend is deat. At least I think so. They have slowly been removing all social media over the years and we are down to just using one platform. We went from using 3 chatting programs, email and having each other phones. To nothing. They haven't answered my messages in almost one year. I miss them so much.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

I finally made the meme I've had in my head for over a year

[male-pattern-loneliness]

I recently logged out of my work email on my phone and I think it's helping. I can actually focus on my weekends now. I used to hate how the marketing team would always send end of week updates on Saturdays. Who does that??

[male-pattern-loneliness]

Chicken soup with potatoes, pasta, and corn. The broth is made using leftover chicken wing bones with asian inspired spices. I love cooking and trying out new things.

[male-pattern-loneliness]

I've been learning to crochet over the past year and I've gotten quite good at reading the patterns, however it is becoming more and more apparent that my math skills are practically non-existent. I had my IQ tested in therapy and I scored under avare for math and numbers. I honestly think I have dyscalculia.