makozzzz

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Catharsis - Idia Shroud

Catharsis : “The inside purification and liberation of the memories and events that affect the emotional state of a person”.

Satisfaction came in the oddest forms, unusual guilty pleasures that one couldn’t explain even if you tried really hard to not sound like a total lunatic. Counting piles of screws over and over again just to clarify the quantity, as if it wasn’t clear the past 20 times, fidgeting with the loose string of thread that’s on the side stitches of a old pair of jeans (close but never really ripping it) just because you don’t have something to do with your hands, always making sure your clothing has some sort of pocket so you could save the embarrassment of walking with your hands loose on both sides of your legs, opening a newly delivered package that took forever to arrive. All of this were perfect examples of satisfaction on the daily life of Idia Shroud.

Being pleased with ordinary, mundane things was something he longed for.

The mundane was enough to an extend, bright colored virtual reality’s where he had most of the control and when it lacked, it could be bought or manipulated, that was satisfactorily empty, just as he liked it.

Keeping himself busy had become his life’s long mission, because in the silence and emptiness his mind wandered to obscenely obscure places.

Memories held on the surface of his mind space, like a broken record that only projected the same scenario. Past events resurface without him even trying to remember them. They came on the most odd and inconvenient moments, when he was showering, waiting to fall asleep, when he thought of home and outstandingly when he looked at his brother. Something was off.

It began as a delirium, a impossibly.

He could have sworn that his eyes were deceiving him. It couldn’t be as serious as everyone put it out to be. Any moment, at any moment Ortho would appear once again and brighten the obscurity he was dealing with. He learned to appreciate time as he never had before, he waited impatiently eternal minutes, hours and days. But as hope began to form it faded away at the sight of a neatly decorated coffin.

Then it hit him, it hit him hard.

He felt his heart crush into itself, raw and brutal pain.

It took him a while to comprehend what had happened but when he did all he felt was anger. Angered with himself, with his parents and with life itself. A second thats all it took for the accident to take place.

Why him?

Was it the curse or just life being cruel just to be it?

What could he do?

-“Was it my fault?” He asked to himself

Because it fucking felt like it.

How could it be fucking fair?

And with this a plan emerged.

Crazy, psychotic and plainly morally wrong. He knew what was at stake but he had to try. He had to do it. Two whole years of his life went to locking himself on his room, failed attempts, innumerable quantities of prototypes, sleepless nights, tantrums, mental breakdowns, relentless sobbing and an abundant feeling of guilt.

He did it.

He had given up two years of his life and sanity to bring his brother back and he actually did it. In a romanticized way it was a sacrifice, an exchange of some sorts, his life for his brother’s.

Ironic. He successfully had cheated death and created life.

His brother was back, at least the important part of him. His soul was on a humanoid body he created, that he had made to resemble him as close at it could, a robot that would have to be programmed to successfully function and adapt to other humans. It had to adapt to him.

-“It…..”

It wasn’t a human being….

It wasn’t his brother….

-“Or is it?”

-“Anyone within my same situation would have done it, I’m not wrong, i have done the right thing”.

What was the purpose of creating it?

-“To keep me company”.

Disgusting, he was absolutely and undoubtedly disgusting, a mad man that was what he was. He had played with the thin line between life and death, he had absolute no respect for the undead, he had broke most to not say all of the morally correct laws. Just for the sake of not being lonely. Pathetic.

Even with all of the absolute adoration he had for his younger brother he’d couldn’t help but to wonder if it had been a mistake. It was undoubtably clear that he couldn’t live without his sibling and that was a enough justification on his eyes, but he questioned of what meant to be able to look and talk to ortho. What he had done, that’s what hunted him.

Regret. At first it was awkward to interact with it, with Ortho, the robot voice, the poorly programmed movements, the lack of knowledge about anything, things that he corrected and perfected through interacting with the machine. With it. With Ortho.

A grandiose mind, a genius and a prodigy, that’s what he was.

A socially awkward, shut in, depressed and heavily traumatized individual, that was him too, and he couldn’t deny it. Peoples opinion did in fact mattered to him, as much as he denied the fact to himself. He knew he was a freak, from a knowingly fucked up family, with an android as a brother. People judge for the stupidest of things, but damn, he gave them material.

A shut in, it didn’t mattered as long as he had the android close to him, if we was at school or at his house, it felt all the same. Lonely.

Long nights of gaming and surfing through the internet became the usual to the point where he didn’t cared if it was day or night. As long as he didn’t thought, he would be fine. As long as he didn’t saw the bigger picture he would be fine. As long as he was distracted.

Everything would be fine.

He was fine.

-“I’m fine” He said between sobs.

As time passed Ortho became self efficient, thoughtful and seemed to have a better emotional stability than Idia. That’s s how the android he builded in shape and form of his younger brother ended up becoming concerned of his current mind state and recommended him to start a life with the outside world. A robot he created was concerned for him.

He officially had reached his lowest.

He wasn’t an idiot, he understood that his coping mechanism of bringing his brother back to life was something one couldn’t just forget or hide under the rug. It was a long last decision that would follow him throughout the rest of his life. The despair, the burden and the guilt made him do all of that and he had to live with it.

He knew what was wrong about him, yet the self deprecating side of him always won.

It wasn’t like he could count on his family to begin with, Ortho was his person, the special person he would go on and beyond for .

Why couldn’t he do that for himself?

Wasn’t he worth saving?

He knew he deserved better.

But couldn’t.

[makozzzz]

[makozzzz]

Should I finish this? God damn you art block

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I just reached the 100 followers mile stone and I’m pretty sure the last 20 are horny bot girls.

Keep them coming tumblr. Send them my way, I accept them with open arms.

[makozzzz]

(This post has been edited to exclude some jackets that had inappropriate symbols on them)

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Been on a bit of a Twisted Wonderland kick for a while. I’m obsessed with everyone in this game but I’ve only recently had the time to draw more of the characters

(I drew Leona a while back but I’d love to draw the SavanaClaw bois again~)

[makozzzz]

Catharsis - Idia Shroud

Catharsis : “The inside purification and liberation of the memories and events that affect the emotional state of a person”.

Satisfaction came in the oddest forms, unusual guilty pleasures that one couldn’t explain even if you tried really hard to not sound like a total lunatic. Counting piles of screws over and over again just to clarify the quantity, as if it wasn’t clear the past 20 times, fidgeting with the loose string of thread that’s on the side stitches of a old pair of jeans (close but never really ripping it) just because you don’t have something to do with your hands, always making sure your clothing has some sort of pocket so you could save the embarrassment of walking with your hands loose on both sides of your legs, opening a newly delivered package that took forever to arrive. All of this were perfect examples of satisfaction on the daily life of Idia Shroud.

Being pleased with ordinary, mundane things was something he longed for.

The mundane was enough to an extend, bright colored virtual reality’s where he had most of the control and when it lacked, it could be bought or manipulated, that was satisfactorily empty, just as he liked it.

Keeping himself busy had become his life’s long mission, because in the silence and emptiness his mind wandered to obscenely obscure places.

Memories held on the surface of his mind space, like a broken record that only projected the same scenario. Past events resurface without him even trying to remember them. They came on the most odd and inconvenient moments, when he was showering, waiting to fall asleep, when he thought of home and outstandingly when he looked at his brother. Something was off.

It began as a delirium, a impossibly.

He could have sworn that his eyes were deceiving him. It couldn’t be as serious as everyone put it out to be. Any moment, at any moment Ortho would appear once again and brighten the obscurity he was dealing with. He learned to appreciate time as he never had before, he waited impatiently eternal minutes, hours and days. But as hope began to form it faded away at the sight of a neatly decorated coffin.

Then it hit him, it hit him hard.

He felt his heart crush into itself, raw and brutal pain.

It took him a while to comprehend what had happened but when he did all he felt was anger. Angered with himself, with his parents and with life itself. A second thats all it took for the accident to take place.

Why him?

Was it the curse or just life being cruel just to be it?

What could he do?

-“Was it my fault?” He asked to himself

Because it fucking felt like it.

How could it be fucking fair?

And with this a plan emerged.

Crazy, psychotic and plainly morally wrong. He knew what was at stake but he had to try. He had to do it. Two whole years of his life went to locking himself on his room, failed attempts, innumerable quantities of prototypes, sleepless nights, tantrums, mental breakdowns, relentless sobbing and an abundant feeling of guilt.

He did it.

He had given up two years of his life and sanity to bring his brother back and he actually did it. In a romanticized way it was a sacrifice, an exchange of some sorts, his life for his brother’s.

Ironic. He successfully had cheated death and created life.

His brother was back, at least the important part of him. His soul was on a humanoid body he created, that he had made to resemble him as close at it could, a robot that would have to be programmed to successfully function and adapt to other humans. It had to adapt to him.

-“It…..”

It wasn’t a human being….

It wasn’t his brother….

-“Or is it?”

-“Anyone within my same situation would have done it, I’m not wrong, i have done the right thing”.

What was the purpose of creating it?

-“To keep me company”.

Disgusting, he was absolutely and undoubtedly disgusting, a mad man that was what he was. He had played with the thin line between life and death, he had absolute no respect for the undead, he had broke most to not say all of the morally correct laws. Just for the sake of not being lonely. Pathetic.

Even with all of the absolute adoration he had for his younger brother he’d couldn’t help but to wonder if it had been a mistake. It was undoubtably clear that he couldn’t live without his sibling and that was a enough justification on his eyes, but he questioned of what meant to be able to look and talk to ortho. What he had done, that’s what hunted him.

Regret. At first it was awkward to interact with it, with Ortho, the robot voice, the poorly programmed movements, the lack of knowledge about anything, things that he corrected and perfected through interacting with the machine. With it. With Ortho.

A grandiose mind, a genius and a prodigy, that’s what he was.

A socially awkward, shut in, depressed and heavily traumatized individual, that was him too, and he couldn’t deny it. Peoples opinion did in fact mattered to him, as much as he denied the fact to himself. He knew he was a freak, from a knowingly fucked up family, with an android as a brother. People judge for the stupidest of things, but damn, he gave them material.

A shut in, it didn’t mattered as long as he had the android close to him, if we was at school or at his house, it felt all the same. Lonely.

Long nights of gaming and surfing through the internet became the usual to the point where he didn’t cared if it was day or night. As long as he didn’t thought, he would be fine. As long as he didn’t saw the bigger picture he would be fine. As long as he was distracted.

Everything would be fine.

He was fine.

-“I’m fine” He said between sobs.

As time passed Ortho became self efficient, thoughtful and seemed to have a better emotional stability than Idia. That’s s how the android he builded in shape and form of his younger brother ended up becoming concerned of his current mind state and recommended him to start a life with the outside world. A robot he created was concerned for him.

He officially had reached his lowest.

He wasn’t an idiot, he understood that his coping mechanism of bringing his brother back to life was something one couldn’t just forget or hide under the rug. It was a long last decision that would follow him throughout the rest of his life. The despair, the burden and the guilt made him do all of that and he had to live with it.

He knew what was wrong about him, yet the self deprecating side of him always won.

It wasn’t like he could count on his family to begin with, Ortho was his person, the special person he would go on and beyond for .

Why couldn’t he do that for himself?

Wasn’t he worth saving?

He knew he deserved better.

But couldn’t.

[makozzzz]

“Shock the heart” - Jade Leech

[makozzzz]

I recently saw a meme about Leona in a box....

[makozzzz]

insane men covered in blood. you agree. reblog.

[makozzzz]

Catch em!

[makozzzz]

Drawing for a contest I just assigned. Wish me luck please.

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Unfulfilled expectations

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Little draft .

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[makozzzz]

¡Hi guys! Long story short I started to stream in twitch like literally yesterday. I will be doing it from time to time. If you would like to see some of the drawing process I do you can go and say hi. This is like a new thing to me and it’s kind of nerve racking but exciting. Wish to see you on the streams. Love you guys <3.

User: maok_8a