makoverload

[makoverload]

#UNHEWLEY — an independent and selective portrayal of angeal hewley from (compilation of) final fantasy vii. heavily headcanon-influenced. written by fox [they/ he, 24].

a study in: the pedestal crumbling under your weight, the bravest coward you've ever met, suicide by cop, clicker training, the straw feather that broke the camel's back, gentleness despite unspeakable violence, micromanagement as a love language, moral revolving doors, capitalising on your own saviour complex, homesickness for a place you can never return (and the person you'll never be again).

promo credit.

[makoverload]

it's been 48 hours since tumblr terminated my angeal blog for no reason........ give him back to me....

[makoverload]

#ANGEALIQUE — an independent and selective portrayal of angeal hewley from (compilation of) final fantasy vii. heavily headcanon-influenced. written by fox [they/he, 24].

a study in: the pedestal crumbling under your weight, the bravest coward you know, homesickness, suicide by cop, the straw feather that broke the camel's back, gentleness despite the violence, not the face of SOLDIER but the beating heart, a revolving door of morality, let's be kids again (i'll chase you if you chase me).

promo credit.

[makoverload]

🫀 + 🧭

🫀 – who taught them what love is? did it hurt?

the beauty of memory loss is that cloud gets to learn about love three times - and yes, it's always painful.

growing up, there was really no one in his corner except his mother. his father was long gone, his peers rejected him, and while tifa lived right next door, she was about ten years away. cloud strife was a lonely, awkward, bitter little boy, and claudia strife adored him despite it all. with his mother, love was all about gestures: steaming hot chocolate on a hard day, a reassuring squeeze of the hand, returning home to find a newspaper clipping of sephiroth on the table. love was indulging his SOLDIER dreams despite her reservations.

a mother's love should never hurt. it didn't. claudia strife's love was unconditional and all-consuming - and cloud shied away from it with childish embarrassment, squirming away from her affections and taking her gestures for granted. his mother took as little offense as she could, putting it down to a childhood phase. what hurts is that she never lived to see him outgrow it.

when zack broke him out of his pod in shinra manor, cloud learned what love was for a second time. with zack, it was much more about feeling than a sentiment shared. cloud wasn't capable of anything else. barely conscious, unable to speak or move, cloud hardly knew where or even who he was – but he knew that he was loved.

this time, love was an arm gently guiding him to water, a damp rag dragged across his face, being sat in the sun to dry. love was a hand under his chin encouraging him to chew. love was a fresh pair of clothes. it was the way zack would rearrange his limbs after setting him down, straightening out any unnatural angles to keep him comfortable. it was the steady stream of chatter in his ear even when he couldn't respond. it was a canteen between his lips, and the hand that diligently wiped water from his chin. love was unwavering patience, dignity and kindness at the risk of both their lives. cloud couldn't push it away this time. he was drowning in it.

zack fair was love incarnate. he loved like breathing. everyone and everything deserved his affection, his respect, his mercy. it was the loss of him that hurt – not watching him die, but knowing that the world had lost him, and that cloud's heart was about three times too small to ever replace his. it hurt to forget. it hurts to remember, in the strange, out of body way that he does. as if the love was there, but it belonged to someone else entirely.

the third time was a team effort. it wouldn't be right to credit just one person; he learned about love from tifa's patience and forgiveness even when he deserved none, from yuffie's devotion to her people, and barret's dedication to the planet (and his little girl). he felt it in nanaki's head in his lap, aerith's healing wind, and even cait sith's cheeky little doll-smile.

what hurts, this time, is the fear of losing it all again. that if he doesn't appreciate it enough, all he's learned will be ripped away, and maybe this time there will be no one around to teach him.

(bonus: one day, cloud will look into marlene and denzel's trusting eyes and decide he has never known what love means until this very moment.)

🧭 – where would they go if they could disappear tomorrow?

as a general rule of thumb, if you can't find cloud (and he's not off working), he's probably at the church in sector five. where else would he be? it's the hole he already crawled in once to die, and the final resting place of two of his closest friends. but that's such a basic answer, right?

the truth is, there aren't very many places left for him to disappear to. nibelheim is a soulless imitation of his hometown. midgar was destroyed by meteor. most other places hold no significance to him. maybe he could make like cissnei, and start fresh in gongaga. the lifestream, perhaps, though that has pretty dark connotations. it's not as if he's about to run off to the gold saucer, or costa del sol, or something.

(and going back in time is just a hassle. there are no sweet spots for cloud strife. either the people you love are alive, and you're suffering, or they're gone and you're slowly getting better. or you go back to the infantry, where you're just kind of miserable, and also you don't even know most of them yet.)

no, cloud is better staying right where he is. he's done enough disappearing acts for a lifetime.

[makoverload]

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐀 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐒 .    (  a collection of  action prompts.   feel free to reverse roles as desired. this prompt will be updated.  )

[ REDWOOD ] sender lashes out at receiver when it isn't their fault.

[ WILLOW ] sender embraces receiver in a moment of extreme distress.

[ PINE ] sender fervently resists receiver's attempts to comfort / care for them.

[ BIRCH ] sender finally ends a tense argument by reaching out to apologize.

[ POPLAR ] sender mentors receiver through learning a new skill.

[ PALM ] sender and receiver avoid / ignore the stresses of real life together.

[ ELM ] sender lends receiver aid in a time of urgent need.

[ MAGNOLIA ] sender, believed to be dead, arrives at receiver's door.

[ DOGWOOD ] sender gifts receiver a token of good luck / protection.

[ MULBERRY ] sender and receiver take a long walk through nature together.

[ HAZELNUT ] sender begrudgingly patches up receiver's wounds.

[ CAMPHOR ] sender suddenly pushes receiver out of danger's path.

[ CASHEW ] when they're finally alone, sender invites receiver to dance.

[ LAVENDER ] sender lays their head in receiver's lap and closes their eyes.

[ BEECH ] it comes to light that sender has betrayed receiver.

[ HIBISCUS ] sender invites receiver to go traveling with them.

[ HICKORY ] sender pushes receiver to admit that they need them.

[ MAPLE ] sender shakes receiver's shoulders, begging them to wake up.

[ CHERRY BLOSSOM ] sender revels in receiver's beauty, stunned.

[ JOSHUA ] sender offers receiver a safe place to hide / crash .

[ ASH ] sender and receiver become reacquainted after many years.

[ FIG ] sender, knowing receiver is hungry, pressures them to eat.

[ YEW ] sender beckons for receiver to join them in the water.

[ CYPRESS ] sender shamelessly flirts with receiver.

[ LINDEN ] sender cares for receiver, who took a hit to protect them.

[makoverload]

✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis/headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.

[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ ��️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

[makoverload]

༘⋆｡ hard conversations starters

for those hard conversations you have to have sometimes. romantic, platonic, familial, & a few others!

i  don't  know  how  to  say  this  without  hurting  you.

you've  been  so  different  lately...

i've  been  trying  to  say  this  for  a  while  now.

i  know  i  messed  up.  i  just  need  you  to  listen.

did  you  fall  out  of  love  with  me?

you  don't  have  to  forgive  me.

at  what  point  did  you  decide  i  wasn't  worth  the  effort?

why  didn't  you  tell  me?

why  is  love  in  this  family  always  conditional?

please  just  say  something.

i've  spent  my  whole  life  trying  to  be  enough  for  you.

i'm  scared  if  we  talk  about  this,  we're  going  to  fall  apart.

do  you  even  want  to  fix  this  anymore?

you  were  supposed  to  be  the  one  person  who  wouldn't  give  up  on  me!

tell  me  what  to  do.  tell  me  what  you  need.

if  this  is  the  end,  i  want  to  hear  you  say  it.

i'm  scared  you're  only  here  because  it's  easier  to  stay.

i  can't  keep  pretending  nothing  happened.

you  left  me  to  clean  up  the  pieces  of  what  you  broke.

you  act  like  you're  fine  but  i  can  tell  you're  not.

i  can't  keep  holding  this  in  anymore.

it  feels  like  you  don't  need  me  anymore.

was  it  easier  to  ghost  me  than  admit  you  gave  up?

say  it.  say  you  never  loved  me.

when  did  we  stop  being  on  the  same  side?

sometimes  i  wish  i'd  never  met  you.

loving  someone  isn't  supposed  to  feel  like  this.

why  is  it  so  hard  to  talk  to  you  without  feeling  small?

i'm  tired  of  being  the  one  who  holds  it  all  together.

if  you  cared,  you  would've  stayed.

i'm  trying  to  learn  how  to  forgive  you.

[makoverload]

been struggling a lot with inspiration lately :( please know that if you've sent a starter or a reply and i haven't responded it's not out of any ill will! cloud is just a tough nut to crack and my writing skills are still kinda rusty unforch

[makoverload]

scars

[makoverload]

starters tomorrow hopefully!! sorry for being so inactive i've been away at a festival and then i really locked in on my cloud strife wig. and also drawing ffvii shitposts. only one of these is a good excuse

[makoverload]

The ghost of a smile played on Genesis' lips as he spoke of her friend, and for a fraction of a second, Cloud almost felt guilty for taking Sephiroth away from him. For leaving her alone.

At least, he assumed she was alone. Like him, Genesis Rhapsodos was a relic of a bygone era. A ghost, haunting the future. He had no family, no home to return to. The other Firsts were long gone, one by Cloud's hand, the other Zack's. Any bridges with Shinra were not just burned but completely obliterated. Did Rufus Shinra know Genesis was still around? Did the Turks? Should they? Even if he could salvage something from the ashes, the company worked on a skeleton staff these days. Mostly corporate stuff, some reparations, anything to help them atone. Probably not much work for a First Class. The world just didn't have a place for them anymore.

But if she still had a friend...

What a ridiculous thought. There were no two ways about it, Sephiroth had to die, and it wasn't as if Genesis deserved this hypothetical mercy, not after everything she'd done. There was some small irony in his fate, Cloud thought. The lives she took, the bridges he burned, the havoc she wreaked - all in a last-ditch effort to cling onto life. Now, as though some divine punishment, Genesis had to live.

"I think... I killed your Sephiroth. And then I killed mine too, for good measure." Something about the church inspired confession in him. Genesis had a right to know. Maybe he already did. Maybe she had no idea, and he'd fly into the rage Cloud knew she was capable of. Maybe he'd get his fight after all. He could probably go through with it if someone else started it. "I don't know how much you know about all that, but it sounds like you were pretty close. Thought you should know."

So, Genesis didn't like talking about Angeal. That Cloud could understand. The idea of having something in common with the SOLDIER turned his stomach. He chose to ignore the other glaring similarities for his own sanity's sake.

"Sword's not going anywhere, you know." He gestured to her hand, still clutching the Buster Sword's handle. "You can let go. I've got my own now, I'm not gonna take it back."

"That's why you're here, right? His sword?" Despite his childhood indifference to anything that wasn't Sephiroth, Cloud knew the basics about the other Firsts. Genesis Rhapsodos and Angeal Hewley, both from Banora, a tiny village in Mideel. Both born in 1975. Made First Class within a month of each other. It didn't take a genius to figure out they were friends. "Zack didn't tell me much about the Buster Sword, he just kinda... had it one day. Knew where he got it, though. It's pretty distinctive. I never met the guy, but I saw him around. Always had it on him. He liked talking to the infantry, I think. Angeal and Zack were the only Firsts that really gave us the time of day outside of missions."

"And I was in Modeoheim when he..." Cloud trailed off, as if saying out aloud would set her off. "I was injured, so I wasn't there, but I saw them load his body onto the helicopter. Suppose they wouldn't want that lying around." Looking to the flowers beside him, he sighed. Genesis just said he didn't want to talk about Angeal. Cloud imagined how he'd feel if someone started telling him about what happened at the Temple of the Ancients. Bad. He'd feel bad. Way to put your foot in it, Strife. "Sorry. You said you didn't want to talk about it."

Bile rose in Cloud's throat at the sudden shift in her tone. Saccharine, gentle, as though he was something to be handled with care - not unlike the way Tifa spoke to the kids when they were sick. He didn't want pity from Genesis Rhapsodos.

"You'll have to forgive me, I don't know a lot about the project. They didn't exactly brief me." He scoffed, biting back the urge to point out her hand in getting him there. It wasn't often he had someone to blame, even if only by association. "We met back then? I got the impression Zack tried to keep me out of harm's way."

Cloud laughed. "To be fair, I think we hitchhiked for bit. He probably would've carried me all the way to Midgar, though. Just the kinda guy he was." Looking over at the Buster Sword, he smiled softly. "It was the right thing to do, I suppose. Just protecting his SOLDIER honour."

Waiting for the boy to compose himself seemed to drag on for an eternity, though Genesis knew it could only have been a few seconds. A minute, perhaps, at a push. She watched his chest heave; breathing measured, deliberate breaths -- a grounding technique, a voice somewhere in the back of her mind piped up. She couldn't remember who had taught her that - something to bring you back when you were too far gone. He'd been so far gone that he'd left the building entirely, blue eyes hollow and vacant, focused entirely on her. A sort of empty rage had flowed through him, wild and scattered, as if it knew it was misdirected and didn't quite care. It was an expression that Genesis had never seen before, save for when it stared back at him in the mirror.

The ghost of his hands around her throat felt like divine retribution. As if the goddess had finally attempted to punish him for what she had done. He couldn't quite decide whether to just let it happen or not. The boy hadn't gone through with it, the little coward, but for a fleeting moment it had felt like finally, finally, they would get what they deserved. No more of Zack Fair's cloying mercy, no more would she be forced to live on and repent -- this child could have choked the life from her with his bare hands, and Genesis would have deserved it. But instead, he stopped, pulled away, and spoke to her in a voice that tried it's best to pretend it wasn't trembling. Adorable.

Genesis laughed, a light sound that echoed throughout the church. "A maniac with a God complex? I believe that you and I knew very different Sephiroths, my dear." Closing his eyes, he thought of her friend. Silver and black and steel flashed through their mind, but so did shy smiles and knowing looks and comfort. "When I knew him, he was much more like a lost child. Withdrawn, and lonely. More afraid than he let on, and even kinder still." She sighed, drawn out and heavy. "But then, we all have our breaking points."

Her grip on the sword tightened at the sound of its master's name. It was hard, even for her, to comprehend why she felt so protective of it. He hadn't seen the thing in years. It hadn't belonged to Angeal in even longer. There was no real connection left there, Genesis knew that. But to accept that, was to accept that there was no connection left anywhere. That what remained of her best friend had either burned along with their hometown, or was scrubbed from existence by Shinra's finest.

"I'd rather we didn't speak of him, if I may be completely honest." said Genesis. "Nothing that Zack could have told you would do him justice. I don't think even I could paint Angeal in the light he deserves. The more time passes, the less I think I understood him. He kept a lot hidden underneath the surface. He probably thought that I didn't notice. Maybe I didn't." She shook her head. "But he wouldn't mind being 'lumped in with Sephiroth'. He loved Sephiroth."

The receiving end of Zack's heroism...?

That simple phrase stirred something within Genesis' mind. Surely, such an act of heroism would not go unnoticed. Genesis had always loved a good story, after all, even if he sometimes did not care for the so-called 'hero'. She racked her brain for something, anything that would fit with the boy standing before her. Remembering didn't come easily to him anymore, not these days. Recalling degraded memories felt like trying to remember a dream. They were spotty, confusing. She could only see it in flashes. Blood. Rot. Anger. If it wasn't for the wing that sprouted from her back, it would be easy to pretend that none of it was ever real. But there were bright spots in his memories, beacons. Angeal, before he was gone. Sephiroth, too. And there had been something else, something new. A dead weight that Zack had trailed behind him. A boy, with blonde spiked hair.

Ah. Her eyes widened in recognition as the pieces clicked together. Well, that would explain why she couldn't place him amongst SOLDIER. Now I understand. Genesis couldn't help but think: if it had been her in his shoes, she would have choked every last breath from her body.

"You're the Project-S candidate, aren't you?" She asked sweetly, quietly, as if approaching a skittish animal. "I remember you now. That hair is quite distinctive, after all. But you're much more... animated now."

"He carried you for miles, if I recall. Quite the hero, indeed. Always so chivalrous." Genesis smiled faintly. "Only the Goddess knows where he picked that up from."

[makoverload]

ANTAGONISM — MEETINGS

"Still mad?" "Missed me?" "Get out. Now." "Who let you in?!" "Why are you here?" "What do you want?" "Read my lips: no." "You don't scare me." "Hey, put that back!" "You are not welcome." "Move out of the way." "Don't be like that..." "Don't test me today." "Do you mind? I'm busy." "Don't come any closer." "Showing your face again?" "You expect me to apologize?" "I won't say it again: leave it." "You know I can't let you in." "I don't trust you to behave." "You being here is bad enough." "Have you nothing better to do?" "I thought you didn't trust me?" "I don't wanna deal with this…" "I'm not here as a favor to you." "Are you still holding a grudge?" "Your presence befouls this place." "Is there a… reason you're here?" "I didn't expect to find you here." "I should just kill you right now." "What more could you possibly want?" "Do you mind getting out of the way?" "Don't you have hobbies or something?" "You're threading a dangerous line…" "What? No open arms, no welcome back?" "Cut to the chase — why call me here?" "Do they just let anyone walk in here?" "How did you… the doors were locked!" "You're not sorry, don't even pretend." "You've chosen a bad day to bother me." "Come now, no need for such hostility." "Do you find amusement in harassing me?" "You being here is enough to ruin my day." "I don't care, you need to let me through." "You should have killed me… but you didn't." "So… standoffish. Am I not allowed to visit?" "You better have a good reason for ignoring me." "Here, I brought you something!" *Middle finger.* "Seeing your face sour at the sight of me is funny." "Is that what I am to you? An annoyance? A pest?" "Were you expecting me? What a… warm welcome." "No. Whatever you're about to ask, the answer is no." "Do you just think it's funny to get me into trouble?" "You think you can just walk in here after what you did?" "I'm not going to be intimidated into letting you through." "Doesn't matter what you say, I'm not doing you any favors." "You'll forgive me for being curt, but please, leave me alone." "Grow up. We can hate each other's guts and still do business." "I won't be held responsible for what I do if you don't get out of my face." "Isn't it funny that I'm right here and you can't do anything to me right now?"

[makoverload]

@ofthetvrks said -- you're still young. when you're my age, you'll understand.

squinting at the turk far longer than intended (or socially acceptable, really), cloud tilted his head to one side. normally, being talked down to like that would try his temper - something he was already close to losing, having to interact with reno of all people - but his words had sparked a realisation in him.

cloud had no idea how old reno was.

certainly he was older than when they'd first met. obviously. on account of the passage of time. but he hadn't really aged at all, at least not that cloud could see, although he'd never exactly sat down and studied the turk's face. usually, reno's presence meant cloud's number one mission was to get as far away from that freak as possible.

scanning reno's smug face briefly, as inconspicuously as he could manage, he searched for signs of age. the man's pale skin was incredibly smooth, save for laughter lines framing the red slits on his cheeks - though with the amount of things reno found funny, cloud supposed he'd be more shocked if there were none. there was a permanently youthful glint in his eyes and a hollow emptiness in the way he stared. he had a teenager's sense of humour, but the body count of a seasoned veteran. he chain-smoked like a pensioner, or perhaps a kid with his first pack, overeager and desperate to see what the hype was about. the turk could be 16 or 36, for all cloud knew. this wasn't his forte.

normally, reno was constantly on the move, an electric ball of energy, never slowing long enough for anyone to get a good look - almost too slippery even for cloud, who'd bested him several times now. if reno wasn't so... well, reno, it would almost feel like a privilege to see him static like this. even if he had perched himself on seventh heaven's bar when there were perfectly good stools right there.

"and, uh... that is... ?" he watched reno's heels colliding rhythmically with the side of the bar. if they wore away the varnish tifa would go ballistic. then again, tifa would probably go ballistic if she even knew reno was in here. cloud wasn't entirely sure why he let him in in the first place. he shook his head. "doesn't matter how old i get, you and i will never be on the same page. whisky will always taste like shit. it's like liquid tree bark and fire. even the top shelf stuff."

the next words escaped from cloud before he even had a chance to catch them. "y'know, i don't feel young. sometimes i feel like i skipped all that and i'm like... forty now."

[makoverload]

@wingsdreamt asked -- "Do   you   always   push   buttons?"

"not intentionally." cloud never took his eyes off his boots, suddenly feeling quite naked without his public security helmet. normally the thing was the bane of his existence. it was stuffy, made it hard to hear the world around him, and never had quite enough room for his hair - but right now he would give anything to be swallowed up in its anonymity.

zack fair wasn't supposed to ask questions. theirs was an easy friendship, one that cloud still wasn't entirely sure how he'd landed himself in (and was even less sure that he deserved). they talked about work, mostly, with the infantryman hanging on the SOLDIER's every word. zack would inevitably crack some stupid joke, something a younger cloud would find childish and immature, and cloud would betray himself by laughing anyway. sometimes they'd talk about their hometowns. never anything profound. normal friendships, he supposed, ran deeper than that. he didn't have many to go off of.

(sometimes, in the barracks, cloud would recall zack's work stories, and imagine himself behind the sword - no, fighting by his side. a pipe dream, sure, but one that made the long nights somewhat bearable.)

"i mean, i don't try to. i just never know where i'm pressing, or what the buttons look like." he thought back to the other kids in nibelheim, who seemed to cast him out before he even opened his mouth. he was always breaking some sort of unspoken social rule, even now. his comrades found him too closed-off, too awkward, and so mostly left him alone. to his superiors, he was a little too desperate to prove himself. zack didn't seem to care about any of that stuff. "something about me just rubs people the wrong way."

he laughed sheepishly, not used to opening up like that. "i suppose that's not something you've ever had to worry about. people just, like... love you."

[makoverload]

sorry for inactivity, ive been working pretty much non stop! replies tomorrow hopefully, and if not i'll be travelling a lot next week so will have plenty time on buses etc to write :)

[makoverload]

poor deer.

dialogue prompts from poor deer: a novel by claire oshetsky.

enough of your pretty lies. it's time to tell the truth.

here, the boundary between the practical and the supernatural is razor-thin.

stop stalling. it's time to confess what you did.

don't go far.

time for you to go home, then.

i'll be very sad if you go to a better place without me.

what an old stick in the mud you are.

you're the same liar you've always been.

what are you staring at? go.

didn't you ever come to bed?

a nap will do you good.

you are full of surprises.

time moves sideways, through the most important moments of our lives.

it's been so long since i met any new people.

i don't know how to behave, or where to put my eyes.

i admire your panache.

you haven't been out of this room all day, have you?

run away. run straight home.

you ought not to be alone. please stay.

come here, funny bunny.

do you miss ____?

that was a wicked thing to say.

you are never to repeat that awful lie again.

i just want to shut my eyes and sleep forever.

i hadn't expected to meet you.

why are you so kind to me?

whenever i'm happy, something bad is sure to follow.

i don't understand you one bit.

my little changeling child.

you don't have a shred of compassion.

did your mother tell you that?

[name] isn't an angel. [name] is in the ground.

i will never think what those other people think about you.

please, dear. please look at me. i love you.

you know as well as i do what true memories feel like.

buck up. the worst is over.

do you understand what you did? do you even know what you've done?

you can't lie to me. you can't hide from the truth.

you'll be seeing me.

everything is always better in the morning. i promise.

everything is the same as it ever was.

cat got your tongue?

what you need is a good hug.

you're home now. you're safe.

the days kept happening. the world kept turning.

would you like to tell your story to me? i'd love to hear it.

you can be a remarkable little liar sometimes.

you're old enough to know heaven is just a pretty story, aren't you?

go home to your mother. your mother will know what to do.

some things are forever, and other things are never again.

you can't help me. i know that now.

this is my secret hideout. i made it.

what happened to you?

do you think you're being charming?

it looks like it's going to be just you and me, for the time being.

i think we should go on a little vacation somewhere special. just us two. what do you think?

i'm not asking your permission. i'll be back when i'm back.

any old fool can drive a car.

given enough faith, you can do the impossible. and don't you forget it.

you will change the world for the better, i know it.

can you tell me, please, how to get to [place]?

you once said i'd be the death of you, and you were right.

i've always imagined purgatory was the kind of place you could stumble into by accident.

will you ever let me try to make it up to you?

i've traveled this route before, in my dreams.

it couldn't have been ___ you saw. you must have seen somebody else.

i'm running out of time to find my happy ending.

did the light wake you?

you are the strangest girl i have ever met.

there is very little goodness or love in this story.

you never need to worry about ____, ever again.

your story isn't over yet.

are you my angel, or my devil?

you're still young. when you're my age, you'll understand.

you never can tell what a child will grow up to be.

i admire you for accepting life as it comes.

you're never coming back, are you?

i'm here. i'm not going anywhere. here is my hand.

is that you, out so early?

we're approaching the end of our necessary small talk.

i've come to ask for your forgiveness.

you're welcome to stay as long as you like.

one day, i might forgive myself.

[makoverload]