magpie-with-trauma - Tumblr blog

[magpie-with-trauma]

i’ve got like. 3 bucks

hey i’m going to enter The Void anyone want anything

[magpie-with-trauma]

hey i’m going to enter The Void anyone want anything

[magpie-with-trauma]

i am running out of shiny things to steal without people noticing, like there’s only a certain number of polished screws i can steal from a chair without that chair collapsing and Exposing me. on an unrelated note we have ran out of staples

[magpie-with-trauma]

i’m feeling very conflicted about genies. On one hand, why does the genie do that?? like u ask for a mountain of treasure and they send u to a mountain of treasure that’s sealed in a cave with no way out or something..,,,. but like,,, who benefits from this?? what does the genie get out of it?? just why. is it to just be an asshole??

but then again on the OTHER hand i completely understand and honestly if i spent my entire life having to just give people what they want i would be a dick too

[magpie-with-trauma]

does anyone else ever just get the urge to commit a crime?? even for no reason like i’d be on my phone or something and out of nowhere my brain just says ‘hey what if you just set this building on fire’ like ok brain how about we not do that

[magpie-with-trauma]

time to say begone thot to the bad vibes

[magpie-with-trauma]

example: i lost a bet and the price was to give them £3 but MY petty ass decided to give them £3 in pennies. i do not have a single regret

don’t you just love being an asshole sometimes?? like not even in a big way just small self satisfying dickery just to get on someone’s nerves

[magpie-with-trauma]

don’t you just love being an asshole sometimes?? like not even in a big way just small self satisfying dickery just to get on someone’s nerves

[magpie-with-trauma]

update: i have offered 53p for a puppy to be named after me. it did not go as hoped

day 4 of trying to convince a stranger to name one of her puppies after me

[magpie-with-trauma]

day 4 of trying to convince a stranger to name one of her puppies after me

[magpie-with-trauma]

hey anyone else feel like committing arson

[magpie-with-trauma]

i have gained the title of Magpie in my friend group because i was spotted unscrewing polished screws from a chair purely to Keep The Shiny Screws and now i have been exposed as a magpie in a trench coat

[magpie-with-trauma]

wait so if IM eeby and YOU’RE deeby then

WHOSE FLYING THE PLANE

[magpie-with-trauma]

i am *this* close to grave robbing

[magpie-with-trauma]

something remotely shiny: *exists*

my goblin brain: oH HO HO SHINY