magic-reactions

[magic-reactions]

What’s he tormented by? wearing clothing? [in a dramatic voice] Oh, my life is so hard! forced to wear artificial fabrics instead of the egyptian cotton i deserve! what is this, 100 thread count polyester??? [back to normal voice] should have thought of that before you became a hero, dude. their lives are all suffering.

[magic-reactions]

is your pet too clever? do they keep escaping their cone of shame and biting their stitches? try the Cone of Flame™: you’ll never have that problem again!

[magic-reactions]

the flavor text says some boring stuff about bashing heads, but i really think Fezzik did it best: what better way to clear a path than having a giant shout “everybody move!”?

[magic-reactions]

them: ouch. that sounds painful. 

me: you don’t want to bathe in dragonfire?

them: i don’t think my fragile meat shell would survive that

[magic-reactions]

this looks like the most improbably useless thing ever, aside from the armor some of the women wear in this game

[magic-reactions]

that doesn’t look like a mugging, it looks like a murder!

[magic-reactions]

a fistful of forks

[magic-reactions]

“i thought it said Infuse with the Elephants.” *looks at card* “though if you aren’t paying attention, the image does kinda look like an elephant.”

[magic-reactions]

Is he fancy?

[magic-reactions]

Them: I thought it said ghostbusters. 

Me: Ironic as it too is a ghost.

[magic-reactions]

dude totally looks like a mark. 

"does this look infected?" 

“jesus christ, mark! siri where’s the nearest walk-in clinHEY GET OFF ME, MAN, WHAT THE HEghrghghghglghlllhghglghgghlg”

[magic-reactions]

“Look at this stuff; isn’t it neat […]”

[magic-reactions]

“Where is David Bowie? That fucker stole my kid."

[magic-reactions]

*Sings* We are looking for Blue’s Clues, We are Looking for Blue’s Clues, Wonder where they are!”

Me: Huh… so new head canon: Jace’s new nickname is Blue.

[magic-reactions]

just punch a fuckin’ bear in the face. just go for it. punch a fuckin’ bear.

[magic-reactions]

forlorn pseudomama? what??? ooooh, look at the art, she’s totally a pseudo-mama, she’s stealing children! some little girl, and anakin skywalker. poor ani.

[magic-reactions]

yeahhhhh, i….i just don’t like this body. it clashes with the drapes