madness-rains

[madness-rains]

Beast vs. Caldwell

Vishous: *It was my night off of rotation and I was damn sure going to make good use of it. I was on the phone, making arrangements, before the shutters were even up. Everything was in place for a night of release that was sorely needed. Some things were just necessary. I dematted directly to the balcony of my Penthouse, a location that I was becoming increasingly familiar with. The glass door slid open with only a thought. Dozens of candles flared to life as I made my way directly to well stocked supply of goose. I poured myself a drink and sat down to wait for my prey to come to me. It didn't take long. She knew what I liked, knew that I didn't like to be kept waiting. I told her exactly what I wanted, which hood to wear, how many clothes to take off, and where to stand. I finished my drink and poured another as I watched her. The need was strong. This would be a long night.*

*Long strips of red welts decorated her back in a beautiful display. My own personal canvas. I wasn't anywhere near done, I was only getting started. I hadn't even broken a sweat yet. She could take a lot. I'd made sure of that when I called this particular one. Across the room the phone in my leather jacket let me know that this session was going to be far too short. I growled out a curse and went to answer the call. The ID told me that it was from Phury, which meant that something happened on patrol tonight. This could be good. Fighting was just another way to exorcise my demons. I hit the button to pick up the call.* Yes? *My tone was carefully flat, devoid of any emotion. Phury launched into a concise version of what was going down. The noise in the background gave away the fact that Rhage's Beast was lose. I heard the word Bastards and knew that this was a show that I didn't want to miss.* On my way. *I hung up the phone and slung the leather over my shoulders. Looking over at the female dangling on the wall, I half considered making her wait like that for my return. Something told me that I would be longer than that. I removed her binds and sent Fritz the standard text to take her home. The doggen would take care of her. I stepped out on the balcony and dematted directly to the location that Phury told me of. It was like dropping off in the middle of a war zone. The dragon was full on pissed. The first order of business was easy, and came almost as an instinct now, I laid down the mhis thick and large. There was no sense in the humans catching wind of this mess. My phone chimed to tell me that I had a text message. It was from Fritz. He was worried about Mary because she hadn't returned home.* Shiiiiitttt!!! *I cursed loud enough for Phury to hear me over the chaos. He ran over and gave me a questioning look. I leaned in close, hoping that Rhage wouldn't hear me.* Mary is missing…

Rhage:

{I was full on Dragon mode, and although a part of me was always there, he had taken over complete control. He cleared that alley like a hungry kid at a bar mitzvah buffet. Biting down each lesser and swallowing them whole. Bright flashes lit up the walls of the alleyway. I could see Phury scrambling to catch his balance and high tail it out. The taste of those nasty fuckers settle in the back of my throat and let me tell you, they taste like shit. The black oily substance laid low in the pit of the Dragons belly, which also meant it was in mine. I could feel the presence of Vishous and knew he would keep the situation under control as much as he could. I had great hearing, but let me tell you about the beast who had cursed me so long ago, his hearing was far more superior than mine and when V spoke the words “Mary is missing” well, there was no coming back from the state I was in. The beast would now take matters in his own way, he was partial to my Mary, and it would be death to whoever took her.}

Vishous: *Phury's eyes were as big as mine as we looked up at the chaos that three little words had caused. I cursed myself for being ten kinds of an idiot. Of course the Beast heard me. And now we were about to be host to our own little Godzilla movie. I grabbed Phury and swung him out of the way of the rampaging dragon.* Get a car! *I yelled over the noise.* Follow after us. I have to keep this contained. *How the hell I was going to do that, I had no idea. This would be testing my mhis like nothing else. We were already on the move and there wasn't a damn thing that I could do about the damage that was left behind. The Beast didn't give a shit if something was in it's way. He would run over, tear it down, smash it to bits. Everyone thought that a bonded male was bad news but they had never met Rhage's other half. He would leave the city in ruins all to find Mary. I threw the mhis out far in front of us to cover as much ground as I possibly could. It was late at night. There weren't a lot of people out and about. It was the one saving grace. I couldn't even stop to worry about how many innocents were going to end up in the hospital. The only thing that hit my radar was keeping the image of a dragon off of the airwaves. Racing along behind a huge dragon was actually easier than I thought it would be. Was he fast? Oh hell yeah. But he also had a lot in way that slowed him down. Damage control. My mind was jogging through all of my options. This would have to be fast and dirty. I pulled out my phone and went to work. The division of attention would likely cost me but I needed to get an earthquake called in ASAP. It had to come from the right sources or no one would believe it. Good thing I was a frickin genius.*

Barney:

{I continued fighting to regain control, but to no avail, the beast had won. His senses were heightened. His eyes, keen, hearing, well, he would hear a flea bite a dog, his smell. That is what he would use to find who had Mary. I felt the street crumbling under his massive claw like feet. The heat was building and I knew the fire was going to blow soon. He would burn this motherfucker down before the night was over with. In the depths of his mind, I could hear the crashing of cold hard steel being bent and mutilated. He was headed to the place Mary worked. The Beast would sniff out the poor asshole who had her and this would be the last night he took breath into his lungs.}

Vishous: *Was an earthquake really going to explain everything that the Beast was ripping through? I didn't know but it was the best I could come up with on short notice. I was so busy making the needle bounce on the appropriate seismic machines that I didn't see Barney take a sharp left. I skidded to a halt when I realized I wasn't following the path of destruction anymore. With a curse I tucked my phone away and brought all my attention to the scene in front of me. He'd managed to move beyond my mhis if the screaming was any indicator. He was a bloodhound on a mission. There was no one better equipped to find Mary, that was the sad truth of it. That was his mate, the Beast as well as the male beneath there. I moved the mhis to cover the new area of effect which created a few very confused humans to wonder what in the hell was going on. They at least had the sense to get the hell out of the way. Whatever it was, wasn't good. I spied one amateur photographer who was about to have a very nasty fall. I ran into him full force with my shoulder down. Didn't even see me coming. Sure as hell didn't see me grind my shitkicker into his fallen phone. Oops, my bad. I didn't even pause for so much as a 'sorry'. The Beast was already past the place that Mary volunteered at. He paused for maybe a heartbeat to sniff at what looked like a purse on the ground and then he was off again. Someone had picked the wrong female to snatch up, that much was for damn sure. I snagged the purse and kept running behind the force of nature that I was following.*

T-REX:

{The scent of the dumbass who had my Mary was so strong through the beast. I felt the anger building and knew that the male human had no chance of coming out of this alive. I felt a burst of heat power out in front and knew that he was spitting fire. The ground began to quake beneath us. Right then I knew he had found his quest. Explosions happened, and I feared that the anger that I was cursed with one day would go out of control and hurt the ones I cared about, although I didn’t worry about Mary. Mary calmed the beast, his love and desire for her were like no other I had ever felt. As a bonded male it made me jealous. I could hear screams in the background. I was frustrated that I couldn’t gain enough control to overcome my curse and hold Mary close to my chest. I had to rely on my alter to bring her into safety….. I was watching the outcome through some filtered movie screen. My senses were heightened, and I could sniff out where the asshole was held up. He had his hands on my Mary, and the beast lost it. He plucked him out like a delicate flower not hurting her and flung him against the wall. Out of pure and enraged anger fire consumed the room and the now kidnapper was engulfed in flames. Blood-curdling screams were filling the room. The last I remember, the heavenly smell of my Mary calmed me into a deep sleep and with most certainty that he had rescued her out of the inferno without a single hair harmed.}

Vishous: *The scene before me was nothing that I could have anticipated. The whole bonded male thing was not something to be messed with but nothing topped a fully bonded dragon. I had a split second to take in the scene before all hell broke loose. Some idiot decided that it was great idea to kidnap Mary. She was tied to a chair in the corner of the large room. Her head was slumped forward, it was obvious that she'd been roughed up. The extent was hard to see from here but the dumbass responsible was still right there. Of course I was trying to see her across a battlefield as well. If it could be called that. More like a slaughter. The guy had exactly two seconds to regret his decisions. Blood drained from his face and could see Mary laughing. Her mouth moved and I strained to hear what she was saying. Something like, "I told you my husband would come for me." He was dead the moment he even thought to touch that female. The Beast wanted him to suffer in the most brutal of ways. He was torn limb from limb, screaming the entire time, literally washing the place in the blood of the kidnapper. Thank goodness Mary was made of strong stuff because most any other females would be losing it right now too. When the screams finally died down Mary was able to quiet the Beast. Even tied up, she still managed to bring him back down to earth. It wasn't something that any of us would have been able to do. I didn't even think of approaching the female until the Beast had left the building and we were left with a very tired and groggy Rhage. I went right back into damage control mode. The mhis still held strong but now I was dealing with a dead body. There was one sure way of wiping that slate clean. I got Mary untied just before Phury arrived on the scene with the Escalade. Together we bundled up Warrior and Female and he left with them, leaving me to deal with the aftermath. I looked around the gory interior and casually plucked the fingers of my glove free. I tucked the black leather into my back pocket and knelt to the ground. My blazing hand touched the floor in front of me and that was all that it took. In a few minutes nothing was left but a field of glass.*

[madness-rains]

Beast Out Mode

Rhage

{I was cruisin down the busy streets of Caldwell, the bass in my GTO was on point that I could feel the beast thumping in rhythm with the tune. I popped a fresh Tootsie in my mouth and began scanning the streets for any type of action. It was my night on rotation, and I was supposed to hook up with #Phury in less than an hour, I am sure he was trying to score some smoke, not the crazy red kind he was into fine cigars here lately. Hey, who was I to judge if it helped him with his demons I was supportive. Well, he wasn’t so happy when I put soap in some of his last cigars, I found it hilarious, him, not so much. I passed an alley not too far from where I was to hook up with #Phury when a sweet smell wafted up my nose. I slammed on the breaks doing an 180 going back to turn down the alleyway. I threw the goat into park, jumping out I threw my tootsie to the ground and let my shitkickers pound at the pavement heading towards the sound of a fight. With daggers in both hands, skidding to a stop I seen #Phury in battle, he had two lessers trying their best to take him down. I skidded to a stop and leaned against the brick wall in the middle of the alley. “Yo, pretty boy, you got this?” I sheathed one dagger and took the other acting as if I was cleaning under my fingernails. “You made me waste a perfectly good Tootsie on two lessers.” Looking out the corner of my eye I saw another lesser trying his best to sneak in on the fun I called out. “Yo, #Phury, you have incoming at 2 O’Clock.” I caught the attention of the newest lesser, with a goofy grin on my face I gave a cutesie wave and blew a kiss at him. “You can come over here and play; I am game.” I pushed off the brick wall with a smile on my face. I was bored and needed some entertaining, and this was just the start of our night. I palmed my dagger, unsheathing it and twirling it around before pointing it ahead and picking out a lesser from the now crowd forming. “Come on princess don’t be shy.” I started walking towards the now eager lesser; he wanted to take me down as much as I did he. Without any more words between us, the lesser rushed me with what looked like a billy club. I lowered my head slightly looking at him like a bull ready to charge as I lunged at him. The sonic blast of our bodies hitting each other rang in my ear, the lesser went flying back against the wall, but he was swift to collect his senses and rush me once more. I was ready for him when I was jumped by two others whom must have snuck in while I was somewhat engaged with the first one. “Damn, was there a blue light special in the old lady section? Y'all smell like funk doused with powder to cover up your stank.” I round kicked one of the trios, and my shitkicker left an imprint on the side of his face. “That’s gonna leave a mark.” I hovered over him and sank my dagger right into his heart, slick black like oily muck was pouring from his nose before the bright flash lite up the alley like the fourth of July. I wish #Butch were here to consume these motherfuckers, and I hated sending them back to their pimp only to be reborn again. “Yo, #Phury, can you hurry your little princess ass up man, I want to see Mary sometime tonight, she will be lonely in that big bed of ours.” We were finishing up with the child's play when out of site, but not out of hearing range I heard some chatter of the old world. The beast was itching to come out at just the sound. I rose, turning my head slightly to see a few of the Bastards at the opening of the alley. #Xcor stood in front flanked by his flunkies. I could feel the beast taking over, and I yelled out to #Phury “Man, you better ringy ding V, shits about to get real.” That was the last thing I remember saying before I could no longer control the dragon on my back.} #BeastOutMode #MadnessRains

[madness-rains]

Mind Fuck Part #3 or what I like to say, Cry Baby Butch.

Omega:

I watched as the Dhestroyer tried to fight with his restraints. His long time friend, to my surprise, was actually pulling through the process of becoming a lesser. Of course, his visual look, minus all the bruising, was still the same. It was all up to if he became pale to the brotherhood. “So, how are you going to explain this fuck up to not only your brothers but to your human family?” The smirk on my face as I looked at the now defeated brother was classic. I was not going to kill his friend, oh no, I was going to let him live. It was going to be the one thing Butch O’Neal would have to do. Once again I was standing over the human who only had one more feat to pass, and this was what I did to all the lessers, I made them all scream in pain as my sadistic side fucked them into submission. The best part was that Butch was going to watch. I motioned the lessers who stood on both sides of the electric chair. They held onto the warriors face. Digging their nails into his flesh as they peeled his eyes open. He would have no choice but to watch. The human was now teetering on the verge of life and death, or should I say death and eternal life as I had them strap him over a table. I dug my bone like claws into his flesh and his screams took me to a place of sheer ecstasy…..I had some of the foot patrol lay the newly lesser on the gurney, it was just a matter of time before he’d open his eyes, no longer the human he once was.

Butch: -This wasn’t fucking right! I was going to wake up back in the Pit and this would all be a bad nightmare of shit that had happened to me in the past. Mike was not a lesser! I refused to admit it even though I was witnessing the entire process. NO! Why couldn’t he just die?! Why couldn’t I?! The Omega had me dead to rights and still he wouldn’t just take that final step. It was like his sick mission in life was simply to fuck with me. Was he still holding out some kind of hope that I would join sides with him? It didn’t seem frickin likely. He wasn’t that stupid. It had to just be cheap thrills for him. And this final part… God, why did I have to watch this?!!! I knew exactly what it felt like. The Omega didn’t just fuck you, he crawled inside of your body and tore apart everything that made you who you were. My head twisted back and forth, trying to escape the grip that the lesser had on me. If this chair had been anything less than something made for death, I would be free already. I would have destroyed it with my struggling. I screamed until my voice went out, my voice echoing that of my brother-in-law. This was true torture. Hurting someone I cared about. Destroying someone in my small circle. Beat me senseless, I didn’t give a fuck. But making me watch this whole thing was killing me inside. I didn’t know if I’d ever really come back. The only thing left was hate.-

Bastard:

[ I crawled off the backside of the human with a smirk plastered on my face. I dusted my hands off in reference to ‘job well done.’ The process was complete, and the Dhestroyer had now witnessed something that I never let anyone see before. The turning of human to lesser. I made my way over to the electric chair. My face was mere inches from his, and I let my hot rancid breath flow over his cheek until I met his ear. “Meet our newest family member. I think I will call him Mikey. None of this formal Mr. Initial bullshit for him.” I backed away, motioning the lessers to the recruit. “Dump him outside of his home. Sugar britches had Mikey’s wife moved, but she’ll come back, they always do.” I looked over at the warrior and flashed him a wink. “Just a little home coming for her, but, don’t think I left you out, I will be dumping you off after a couple of adjustments to you too.” I nodded at a few more of the boys giving them the go ahead. “Just leave him alive, how much alive I don’t care.” I turned and walked off to let them finish up the work.]

Cry Baby Butch: -Something in my brain must have snapped because I couldn’t quite fathom what the Omega was saying to me. He was letting us go? I suddenly was seized by an image of Mike ripping apart his own family with his bare hands. My sister sobbing over the body her dead son and pleading for Mike to stop. This was so much worse than watching Mike getting turned into a lesser. He knew my entire family, including my mother. Would the Omega make him seek them all out? Was there anything left of the brother-in-law that I once knew inside that sad, reanimated shell? I watched helplessly as they dragged him away.- WHY?! Why not just kill me and be done with it?!! Without me around the prophecy won’t even happen! -I was screaming at his retreating form at this point. It was all just a game to him.- This won’t end here! -I didn’t get in another word as a fist made contact with my jaw. My head snapped to the side where all I could see was a wall covered in Mike’s blood. Seemed I’d be adding to the collection. Almost dead. That was the kind of beat down I had to look forward to.- Get on with it… -And they did. They converged on me like a flock of hungry vultures, all intent on taking their own piece of the carcass.-

Yo Big Daddy:

[ I gave a simple nod to the head Forelesser, he knew what needed to be done, if it were not he would regret what would go on in my chambers later. “Leave breath in his lungs, that is all.” Waving my hand in the air as I passed them. “As for the newest recruit, he can find his way. No special favors for that one.” I knew he would eventually go back to his home, they always do, and what would happen next well, I programmed that one a little different. I could hear the hits on the Dhestroyer face, made my dick hard. Nothing like a great beat down to end the day. The lessers, I knew, were disgruntled that they could not kill him, but my mental mind fuck for him would give more pleasure than his death would ever bring. I would send him back to the brotherhood a fucked up mental basket case. I let the darkness consume me and made my way back to the Dhundh. My work here was finished…for now.]

Coo-Coo for Co Co Puffs Butch:

-My vision was already blurred by the time that the Omega had actually left. I waited for it. Waited for that moment when it was just me and a room full of lessers. I spit the blood in my mouth right in the face of the angriest looking one.- That all you pussies got? Buncha dickless wonders. Can’t hit cause your cock don’t work? -Of course it wasn’t true. They hit harder than any human could. And I felt it like a ton of bricks coming to bury me. Every time they let up, I pushed them harder. Goading them on. Hoping for the giant fuck up that would leave me dead. They took their sweet time, enjoying every minute of the torture. The sucky part about being a vampire is that you can live through almost anything. It felt like they were pushing that one to the max. Like they knew exactly how much a male vampire could take. Hell, they probably did. Was probably part of lesser 101: How To Properly Torture a Full Grown Male Vampire. I’d black out for periods of time and come right back to the pain of another broken bone or a stab that just happened to miss anything vital. Stitch it up only to pull the stitches out later and poke their filthy fingers in the hole they made. I screamed for them, I couldn’t help it. One never ending trail of pale faces stretched out in front of me. They all wanted their time with the Dhestroyer. I couldn’t say how long I remained there, didn’t even know exactly how broken I was. Some things I just stopped feeling after a while. Maybe they crippled me to the point where I couldn’t fight anymore. That thought actually sent a jolt of adrenaline through my body. The primal part of me would never accept that, I would always fight. But right now, I didn’t really feel like it. I felt more like rolling over and dying. I couldn’t save anyone. I’d tried and failed. My sister would never forgive me if she knew the truth. I was the reason this happened to Mike. I was the reason that her son wouldn’t have a father. The room was abnormally quiet. I blinked my eyes open and searched the space for any signs of lesser. This must be it than. They were finally done with me. I looked down at my battered body, contemplating tearing open the crude stitch work so that I would simply bleed out. I didn’t have the energy to drag myself to safety. I rolled my head to the side and spotted my phone sitting right there on the ground next to me. Of course… I wasn’t supposed to die. Not now anyway. I hit the one number that I knew would come get me and dropped right back into a state of blissful unconsciousness.- #MindFuck Part Three #MadnessRains

[madness-rains]

Labeling the unnamed wolf.

@TheGreyCanid 

Blood. It means so much to so many and nothing to even more. Perhaps that's why blood stained the farms once pure land. Bright red, seeping into the rich soil. Grass sticking in such a way that resembled paint. The one thing that suggested it wasn't though was the scent that drifted along in the air. One that screamed death. And oh, death it was. It would be pinned to Grey of course. The first sight and police would be called. Detectives too. An investigation will take place. And he would be found, pinned to the wall. Almost but not dead, yet that we just the begining.

The night is one of calm, there's this breeze in the air that whipped through the horses mains; one that carries the scent of spring in each drifting flurry of air. The wilderness quiet and peaceful. The majority asleep. Including Grey. A complete opposite to what is about to happen. Had Grey been warned of what was going on just under his nose. He'd have ran, got away from La Push. Not out of fear for what was coming. But to save others from having to live his horrors too. Fact is, Grey didn't know, had no inking until it was too late.

The noise that awoke Grey, it wasn't the crack of a window, or a gun shot, or someone shouting at him to do so. No, it was the screaming of his horses that woke Grey. It was loud and hearty. The beast's sounded as if they were being ripped apart. They were… but by what? Or more so, by who. That would be found out soon enough.

Grey had ran as fast as his feet would carry him. To the stables. But… nothing. Just blood. Trailing away from the stables toward his home. No! Had… had he done this? Grey's hands stretch out before him and… nothing. Until it course a droplet of blood taints his previously pristine palms. Cranium tilting back and Grey comes face to face with Monty. His 17.5 hands of 5.8 foot shire. What registered on Grey's face, it could only be described as horror. How had whatever did this managed to get his biggest horse into the rafter's? How, was it was still breathing with is throat ripped free from the tissues and muscle that housed it? A whine reply audibly from Grey.

He couldn't stay there any longer. As soon as he left though. It was worse… bodies of his fallen horses litter the area surrounding the barn, leading towards the house. The thing with shock, is you never truly know how it will effect an individual. For the second time in his life something happened. Grey's knees buckle beneath himself and the ground came rushing to catch him. Hands sprawled before himself, in the grass, in the sticky crimson blood that tainted his land. Then, nothing. Except a short and sharp pain to his neck. A dart. He'd been shot, the next thing, he fell forward, face first into the blood.

Awakening, that was worse than the moments before unconsciousness. Perhaps because, in awakening; a cold fire poker was being forced through his stomach and into the stone wall behind. The wall which after as a stronghold for the metal. You can imagine how that felt, right? No. No you can't. Because here is the thing, Grey /wished/ it had been hot. At least that way, it would have burnt his blood vessels closed as if severed them. No, this was cold and therefore the vessels were left open, pumping blood as his eyes widen to their maximum capacity, a frozen storm in colour. As his jaw dropped to allow a blood curdling scream.

See the connecting factor yet?

Blood. Why?

“You look just like her…” a man spoke from far away. Yet, he was right before Grey's form. The wolves focus was gone, groggy from the sedative he had been shot with along with the unruly pain pulsing through severed veins. “You look just like your mother… we never knew she had you.. actually, that's a lie. We knew she had… but you should've been dead, we did poison her numerous times. She died from it. Yet here you are… what is it you call me yourself? Grey?” Cold laughter. That's what Grey would hear other than the far away voice.

Grey felt another metal rod begin to be pushed through the soft tissues of his forearm and between his radius and ulna. He felt the pressure applied to those bones, then the snapping of both. This was repeated on his second arm and Grey could only let of shrill screams. He was losing conciseness but he managed to catch one thing. The man's last words.

“Your name was supposed to be Dakota… and I? I'm your father.. oh, and that finance of yours.. I like him with the same poison that killed your mother, he wasn't your mate”

Black, everything. Grey's had fell forward, his body suspended where he would die. Unless it was reported to the police. Or the wolves of La Push. Now, it was a race against time.

[madness-rains]

Lost Within My Fears

Closing my eyes, I willed sleep to claim me but I could find where I needed to be and if I were honest with myself sleep was becoming a nightmare of secrets, lies and truths I couldn’t face even when awake.

Would I do it again? Would I let him die to prove to both of us that I was right that this city of Caldwell was burning.

I couldn’t bring myself to say the words I needed to but there was evidence of the guilt in the two hours I slept before rising and tugging on the Nike shorts I had piled up ready for the nightly runs when I would head out and pound the sidewalks. Night after night I would do the same thing turning into the ghost town of skeletons of the partially built businesses or apartments to hand over the worn down shoes I’d been wearing and return barefoot to where I called home.

There’s no point keeping a hold of things that wear out or are worthless in this world anymore.

Not when your life was forfeit for the Scribe Virgin and the Blind King himself.

Rolling out of the bed, fingers splay like stars to catch and steady my body and I rise up tall and resolved; each swallow that weighs heavy in my throat taking away the sighs and the tears I would have if I faced the ghosts of those my childhood and time before the Brotherhood. Before Butch carried my broken body in his arms and rescued me from the Lessers and entering the Fade.. if I had been worthy for such a gift when the Dhund always seemed where my soul should linger for the sins of my youth and foolishness. The truth is there in my heart and my head and I can keep it together now … now that it’s me…me against the world and I accept that now because his footstep isn’t there echoing next to mine. When I should be there with my friend, my brother - I’m alone and I’m now strong despite that pain and turmoil because I couldn’t catch him.

Cold water on the power setting of the shower and I’m rising my face to the Heavens wondering if there’s any truth in the human belief that stars are the echoes of the dead and they’re watching over us when we need them most. An utterance of a prayer to the Scribe Virgin and a murmur of a vow to my Father and Mahmen and I’m washing away the remnants of sweat and sins of nightmares with the swipe and caress of the cloth and soap over toned muscle and twitching tendons working hard as I slide my hand over the dark curls around my cock and against the strong muscles of my legs.

I have to be clean - I have to be pure and void of the tainting of memories, wishes and broken dreams so that I can face the lines of recruits who look at me with wonder and I refuse to give them the satisfaction of the sight of my eyes. Fingers hold the soap tightly, the other hand crushing the wash cloth till I hear the material tear - it doesn’t matter as I automatically pick up another one perfectly folded cloth and continue the ritual.

“Too late.. Too late, can’t go back on the words I said. Gotta say goodbye Brother - let the past fade before it drags me down any further.

Get a grip Deghenerate - show Mahmen up there that I’m the good son she told Father I was when the whip broke my skin.

Don’t forget, don’t let go. It’s there inside me, the beast and the burden are one but the King wants soldiers and I love the kill.

I love the pain they must suffer because it’s a thousand of our lost remembered and acknowledged as the black filth covers my hands - hiding. It’s hiding the scars. Hiding the truth… Gotta hide the truth.”

Radio clicks on. I can hear it now, some nineties love music about being in chains. Girl got the right idea that you can leave when you want till you hear the memories come at you…

Stepping out the shower, the white towel hung around my hips sitting low and I’m staring at my reflection in the mirror whilst hands move automatically and the small carton is cracked open and a finger holds the precious gift for my lies on it carefully.

See ya later black eyes. Adiós. Sayōnara. Au fucking Revoir…

Gone in the damaged monster and there’s the male of worth with his gold eyes looking right back at the true soul who’s ready for the wall to come down and the battle to begin. I’m not like those recruits lined up ready to piss their pants at Zsadist’s every word; he doesn’t scare me - why should he when he’s exactly what happens when choice is snatched away and you’re fighting for your life.

He’s exactly what you become when your life is placed in the hands of the monsters in our kind who rape and beat you till you can’t take it anymore… till I… No.

Till you scream for it to stop and no one listens because they believe you deserve the degradation around you and within you because you’re nothing but garbage.

I close my eyes, fangs descending into flesh to silence the screams of fury that roar forth in the pit of my stomach.

I can’t give in.

Opening my eyes, I look at the gold and wonder if I will ever find a way back to the male I once was.. I think that and then remember, I never was that male - I was ruined the moment I fucked her, the moment I gave into a hunger I hadn’t ever experienced in my life.

Perhaps now…with the help of the Brotherhood I could heal the wounds and let her go. The female with eyes like the sky and hair the color of the fields of Barley.

Perhaps in time I can see myself as they do - a warrior with a badge of honor that I wear proud and true when out in the darkness saving those who aren’t strong enough to be cornered by the Lessers and their cruelty. I want to remember who I am, who I could be and kneel before the Scribe Virgin and feel her blessing upon my skin…

I know that to those who see me, they’re confused by my coldness; how I can laugh and joke with the Cop when there’s no one close to see the scars he has witnessed when I lay dying because he won’t look at me with pity in his eyes. He can touch my skin when we’re knocking back a good few measures of Lagavulin and shooting pool together, a casual pat to encourage or to taunt when I’m losing Benjamins in a pile of tens or more notes. Those recruits look at me as if I am something I’m not; or maybe I am I really don’t know.

I’m afraid to live, to do anything to fight through the fears of my life and my past and I’m drowning with no way of escaping.

I need her now. I need to believe the Scribe Virgin has a place for her broken son as he cries like the pitiful male I had been before the transition..

A last scene of fear and misery before the façade falls into place.

I’m more than this… I hear the voice, the soft voice of a male I don’t know telling me over and over that I need to let go; that falling doesn’t mean that I’ll break but I will find where and what I’m looking before.

Curled up on the floor, the tears fall and the blades I had lain in their velvet display are now within my hands; fingers covering Mhaul’s name as I push the blades into my palms and I wonder when I will feel pain again. When this violence will end and I am released from the cage of my own making.

“When you forgive yourself childe. When you see that you have purpose still young male, you are of wealth, wisdom and blessed by the rules of our kind to be educated in what is right and wrong and you need to find where you belong.

I understand Deghenerate, that it’s hard when the heart is heavy but he forgives you all your fears and recriminations and you should release him for his own purpose childe.”

There is so much white.. Birds singing a melody that has my heartbeat race to keep the rhythm and I feel the soft breeze upon my skin.

She is here, she has gifted me a chance and I lift bloodied hands upwards to search for her robes to show penance but there is nothing but the breeze and birds and the overwhelming sense of freedom in my heart.

I am unburdened. I am free…..

[madness-rains]

Mind Fuck Part 2 with @Butch_ONeal

Butchy: -It was looking bad. Like you better make your peace with God bad. No matter what I did, they kept coming at me from all sides. It was one of those moments where you see your life flash before your eyes. I reviewed everything like a slideshow going by almost too fast to take in. Did I have regrets? Sure, we all do. But nothing would have changed where I was right now. I would always come to help my family. It was probably a weakness of mine because right now it was being exploited. It wouldn’t change who I was. Everything came to a sudden stand still and I knew that the worst had only just begun. Every hair on my body felt like it was standing on end.- Shit!… -I felt him coming like a dull ache that built into a stabbing pain. This wasn’t just a case of a bunch of lackeys come to kill me, this was the Omega himself coming to collect my soul. Not today, Satan. My eyes narrowed to slits. I was left with nothing but facial expressions so I snarled and fought against the pull that he had on me. Once again I was made to feel like a puppet on strings. It brought back old memories that I’d worked so hard to repress. My feet moved of their own accord until I was much closer than I wanted to be. I would have rather run the opposite direction, possibly screaming at the top of my lungs. This right here was the thing of nightmares. My nightmares to be precise. And still I fought. It was not in me to go easily. Even when I knew that I was straight up fucked.- This is too far even for you, Omega! -I spit out his name like a curse just before a fuck load of lessers fondled the hell out of me. They would do any police officer proud with how quickly they found and got rid of all of my weapons. I found a number of particularly colorful things to call each one of them. They didn’t seem to care but it certainly made me feel better. As if I could feel good at this point. I was staring straight into a road to hell. And then the chains came out. Yeah, this went from fucked to super fucked fast. Seriously, did they have to take my shitkickers too?! Damn O'Neal, you really messed up this time. I looked down at the chains dangling from my neck, wrists and ankles.- I had no idea you were so kinky, O. -Okay, maybe I did.- I mean if you just wanted to get your freak on all you had to do was ask. -He started mentioning Mike and my mind tumbled through ways that I might be able to save my brother-in-law. It really wasn’t looking good at this point.- You want me, I get it, I’m irresistible. But what’s say we leave Mike outta this whole mess, huh? -The tug on the chains caught me off guard and I almost ended up landing on my face. I recovered just in time to actually put one foot in front of the other. I knew, from walking plenty of perps, that it was easier just to fall in step. You resist and you only end up dragged along. Hey, now there was an idea! I contemplated wet fishing it right here on the sidewalk and then I remembered Mike. Damn it! Okay. We are walking now but in my head I was kicking his stupid ass with every step I made. Too bad I couldn’t get my feet that high. I would totally do it. I stared holes into the back of his head as he led me forward. I didn’t know how this was going to play out but my dumb ass had come down here without back up so I was pretty well screwed to accept whatever was going on at this point.-

Omega:

[Every part of my existence was telling me to break this cocky fuckers neck with just a simple snap of my fingers, but the sadistic side of me wanted to put on a show for him to watch in horror. I knew he was trying to throw me off my game with all his bullshit babble, but it was not going to work. I let out such an evil laugh; it sent chills down my spine. I thought why not have a bit of play. With a simple raise of my hand, I squeezed my fist, sending pain straight through his head. “That might shut you up. All you are doing is making me think of better ways to fuck your mind all over again boy.” I knew he couldn’t see my face, but the smile grew as I thought back to the night he was on the stainless steel gurney. I could have just brought us all to the soundproof room that his friend was being held in, but the walk was a better play on his emotions. It wasn’t just about him; he would have never admitted any defeat and kept silent until his death, I know this. But I thought this out.  I swept his mind and found out about not only his childhood friend, but also his beloved little sister who was brutally murdered, not to mention her innocence taken. I saw how this warrior carried the guilt with him. Now the guilt of his friend/brother-n-laws death and blood would be on his hands as well. But I wouldn’t be the one to kill him. Butch would. We walked into the holding cell; I could hear the humans rapid heart beat pounding with fear as he was laid out on the gurney. I walked over to him and leaned to his ear hissing out “I’ve brought you some company, so you will not be alone any longer.” I made them pull the prisoner over so that they could have a brief moment. “Isn’t that a fucking Hallmark moment there.” I motioned for the lessers to drag his big ass over to the electric chair that I had resurrected from an old prison. “That’s a gem, I figured you would be comfortable sitting, you sent a few to the chair yourself back in the day, right Cop?” I watched over them as they shackled him in the chair. “Pull that neck strap tight; I added that just for you boy.” I waited until all the restraints were locked. “I took the pleasure of removing the leather restraints, adding steal ones just incase you need a little juice.” At this time I had unhooded myself so as my face was visible, after saying the word juice I shot him a wink. “I know how the night of your first capture haunts you, so with that; I thought it would be neat if I recreated it.” I patted the Humans leg. “Using your friend as a visual.” I let the horror of that sink in for a few minutes. I can imagine what might be going through his brain as we both eye to eye.]

Butch: -I could ignore most of what the Omega was saying to me. I knew that it was all geared to drive me bat shit and I wasn’t interested in playing any game that he set the rules for. The throbbing pain in skull, thanks to a mental squeeze from the asshole, made it pretty easy to ignore his shit. That was until they led me into the room where Mike was. My blurred gaze was brought to focus as soon as I saw my childhood friend strapped to a gurney. I tried to pull away to get to him but the effort proved unnecessary. They delivered me up front and center. All part of the mental mind fuck. And look at me, seemed I was playing along. I couldn’t help it. This guy hadn’t done a damn thing wrong. His only fault was in even knowing me. I stared down at him and said the only thing that would remotely make this situation better. Joyce and Sean are safe. That was it. That was the extent of what I had for him. Anything else would have been complete bullshit. He wasn’t going to make it out of this. I wasn’t going to make it out of this. There was no sense in saying something stupid like ‘It will be okay.’ Not a damn thing about this was going to be okay. I realized how stupid my little rescue mission was. What the hell was I thinking in the first place? Well I knew what it was at the time and it had nothing to do with the Omega. That hadn’t figured into my plans at all. I wasn’t allowed more than that one moment with Mike and then I was yanked away. Sad that he actually seemed relieved to see me. Sorry, buddy. I can’t help this cluster. I was shoved into an electric chair and didn’t hardly plant my ass before restraints were being added. Cold metal snapped down and I was instantly reminded of other times this same treatment had been done to me. The most recent one being the symphath happy hole in the ground. Yeah, okay, so my life hadn’t exactly been a joy ride. Maybe it was just my lot in life. I learned to distance myself, step outside my head. This was different though. Listening to the Omega it sounded like the real pain was actually going to be applied to Mike. That didn’t set well at all.- Why are you even messing with this guy? We all know that it’s me that you enjoy fucking with so what say we let the weak human go on his merry way and get down to real business. We both know that I will be able to take a hell of a lot more than this powder puff. It won’t even be fun for you. He will probably pass out at the first sight of blood. -Yeah, I was knocking Mike but really what other choice did I have.-

Omega:

“I’ve done my homework boy.” [My cold, soulless eyes bore into the cloudy hazel ones that looked back at me. He still carried a bit of me inside of him, and he was easy to bait. The hate he brought for me fueled me to carry this out. “I read you like last weeks news, do you not think since our last ‘sleepover’ that I have not wanted to fix my right? I know every weakness you carry for these humans.” I now looked down at the barely alive human, and the best was now to happen. I looked back at the Dhestroyer, shackled to the electric chair. I knew he wanted to kill me, hell; I would want to. “Boy, don’t fool yourself, this is not about who can take the pain. Honestly, your boy here has taken just as much pain as you once did, but, I left the best for last.” I let the most heinous laughter rumbled from my chest; it was so loud the shook the walls. “Let us play a little game here, how about, reliving the night you tried so hard to erase from your mind. I know you felt dirty from it, so, I want to show you what exactly you went through.” I now ran my skeletal fingers up the side of his brother in laws arm. Like clockwork, he coiled away from the touch. I then turned my gaze back to Butch licking my lips before speaking. “I am going to turn him into a lesser, you have a front row seat of the exchange, If, and I am betting he pulls through. You can watch me fuck him into submission, that little detail I can’t wait for you to relive. I hope our little dance under the sheets floods your mind. You were quite the screamer as I tore into your flesh, let’s hope Mike gives you the same show.” I began with the claw-like nail on my index finger slicing into his chest like a  surgeon with a scalpel. He tried to be brave, but the screams started after I pulled the flesh apart. One of my foot patrol brought forth a jar, and as I ripped the heart from his chest, placing it in and sealing it closed I never let my eyes leave the cops. I waited until the right moment as this human bled out and I tore open with my teeth the vein in my wrist placing to the person’s mouth. “Drink” My black oily blood oozed from my veins. He choked and spat somewhat but took it like the trooper I thought he was, this was going to go as planned. I picked the right one. Not only would he watch me turn his best friend turned family member, but he would also watch as I fucked him as a lesser and then be left to kill his family member. That would be a holiday conversation I’d like to be pervy too.]

Butch: -The reality of what the Omega had planned took awhile to sink into my brain. It was like I refused to admit that this was going to happen.- NOoooOoo!! -I screamed so loud that my throat went dry from it. This couldn’t be happening. I was trapped in some kind of nightmare that I would wake up from at any moment. The wicked laugh of the Omega sliced through everything and brought right back to the horror of it all. Mike didn’t deserve this! He wasn’t a psychopath to join the ranks of the lesser. The terrible weight of it settled on my chest like an elephant. This was my fault. My sister would raise her son alone because of me. I struggled against my restraints, trying to break free even though there was nothing that I could do at this point. Mike’s heart was gone… I watched it being put into a jar and knew that was the end of things. No matter what happened next, my brother-in-law was gone. Tears streamed down my face even as I still continued to shout and scream at the fucking bastard who was doing this. I didn’t want to watch and somehow I couldn’t look away. It was like I owed it to Mike to bear all of this on my soul for eternity. My fault. I was the one that ran off and became a vampire. I was the one that joined the fight against the very evil that was standing before me now. How had I not seen this coming? I always assumed that humans were off limits. But I forgot. I forgot the undeniable truth. Humans become lessers. It was why many vampires hated them in the first place. Not all humans. Not the good ones. And here I was, witness to the fact that this wasn’t true either. The Omega had broken the rules. I would kill him. A blind hatred filled me as I looked into the Omega’s eyes. It might take me a long time to do it, but I would kill him. This was my goal. This was my purpose. The Dhestroyer prophecy come true.- #MindFuck Part Two #MadnessRains

[madness-rains]

The Meal #MadnessRains

{@FateOfAnAngel and @Ghrimm_ )

Siobhan: *I heard the shitkickers hitting the stairs leading down to the main floor before I heard his breathing. He sounded worked up like he had lost someone then realized I could be the cause of his elevated heart rate* I’m in the kitchen! *I called out as I turned towards the entrance to be met by the grey gaze of a male who looked..  fearful.. but it faded as soon as I saw it* I was just hungry and figured you were as well. *I motion towards the pots where I’ve got the spaghetti ready then I inhale and remember the garlic knots in the oven* Oh shi…*quickly I grab the oven mits and open the door. My protected hands pull the tray out revealing the golden brown and aromatic goodness that I sit on the top of the stove then turns everything off* Please come and join me. *my eyes turn back towards the male standing in the doorway watching me. In that moment I felt nervous, laid bare, like he could read me in ways none other ever had or could. That fact sent my heart into a quicker rhythm as I breathe in more than the aroma of the food, but of him as well*

Ghrimm: -My fear of the female being hurt drove me quickly down the stairs, my cheek still burning from the kiss Phebe gave me. “Let her in” Yeah because that is easier said than done. The minute I hit the kitchen my heart dropped to my stomach. She was offering me a meal when I should be feeding her. I’m failing already at this. I stepped behind her, taking the hot pan of garlic knots from her and put them on the counter.- You should still be resting and I should be seeing you fed. Sit please and I will feed you. -Instinct took in as I puttered around her kitchen looking for plates and utensils. Going to the fridge I saw bottled water and a half empty bottle of wine. After last night I’m sure she could use a drink, or several. Again I rummage through her cabinets, finding a wine glass and proceed to pour her some.- Drink, I will get the plate ready for you.

Siobhan: B.. But.. *I felt his hands move mine off the pan before I even got a good retort out to him taking over. I’d been raised knowing how my father treated both mahmen and I, but we’d been allowed a modicum of respite to be a tad freer with our movements. Hence why I was a club owner or at least had been. That thought punched me in the gut so that I felt the stab of that Lesser’s blade entering my flesh anew* I am not an invalid and can help. *his grey eyes shot that idea down fast as I took the seat he wanted me to at the table. I was left to watch him rummaging around the kitchen searching for plates, utensils, glasses and then the fridge. I could almost hear the curses as he came up empty here and there, but I knew enough to remain silent outside of motioning to said cabinet or drawer when he glanced my way* Thank you. *my voice was soft when he poured me a glass of wine. My eyes meeting his for an instant before he turned back to fixing our plates* If you’d like there’s some tiramisu in the fridge. Be a nice dessert and keep with the italian theme. *I bit my inner cheek when he stood tall. His muscles reacting to the shift so that I could see the warrior training rippling with every st

Ghrimm: -I continued gathering stuff, then went to making up a healthy portion of a plate for her. Making sure she had enough to eat, I placed the plate in front of her and twirled the noodles around the fork. Satisfied there was enough I lifted it to her mouth- Eat Siobhan.

Siobhan: *I had never been fed before and was staring wide eyed at Ghrimm for a moment. I was trying to put two and two together before the fork full was held closer to my lips and my stomach rumbled an urgent need to eat* You like having orders followed. Don’t you, Ghrimm. *my words get shut off as I open my mouth and place my lips over the fork. Pulling the noodles and sauce off so I can chew all while turning my eyes up at you*

Ghrimm: -I snicker softly and refill the fork, giving her another bite before opening a garlic knot and buttering it.- If I ordered you, you would know it Angel. I am simply feeding a female that I care…am caring for. Have you never had a male feed you? -Seeing the wine glass half empty, I go to refill it, pausing for a moment to wipe her lips with the pad of my thumb.-

Siobhan: *I had to chew the first mouthful before I could speak, but the brush of his thumb across my lips has words failing me. My heart does a curious stutter before pounding against my breastbone. I can’t help but to lick my lips slowly as his words finally settle into my brain. “Did he say [care]?”, came the inner voice before the second bite was held before my lips* I’ve never had a male feed me. It has always been my hand lifting the fork. *I wasn’t about to delve further into the facts of my being a virgin in several areas. I was a club owner or had been. I had people I made sure were safe. I knew /of/ the sex act, but had never crossed that threshold. No male had ever made me feel like this male before me was. That tingling warmth spreading between my thighs had me squeezing my knees together in an effort to keep from shifting in my chair as I took the next offered bite*

Ghrimm: -I had to hold back a growl when the scent of her arousal hit my nose. Yes she was beautiful but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to take that step. Hell, it was taking everything I had to sit here and feed her from my hand. But Phoebe’s words echoed in my brain and that kept me going.- No male has ever taken care of you? You are a female of worth, surely there have been males arranged for you to see. -I lifted the garlic knot to her mouth, her toffee hues pulling me in. They swirled with desire and need. If she only knew how damaged I was inside she would not have those feelings. How was I going to do this?-

Siobhan: *as I glanced up into his gray eyes I felt that odd clench sensation in my gut and lower, but forced myself to focus on the food in my mouth before coughing as I literally get choked when he mentions about me having males arranged for me to see. ‘Me?!’, I thought. Most males shied away from me when they met more or went for the mightier than thou attitude expecting a groveling, weak female to appear. I wasn’t raised as such and knew I would have fought tooth and nail against such. Ghrimm was different. He made parts of me come awake places that I didn’t know had been asleep until he walked into my life* My parents didn’t do such. I saw my father with mahmen, but have never physically experienced it. *I washed down the last bite with some wine that I picked up with far too unsteady a hand for my liking*

Ghrimm: - My heart pounded in my chest as I took in her words. “Never experienced it”. She was a virgin. Scribe help me. I inhaled her scent, my cock punching against my leathers. Instinctively I adjusted myself, my eyes never leaving hers.- So let me get this straight, you’ve never been with a male? Not even through your transition? -I stood as I waited for her response, pacing the small walkway and sending a small prayer to Phebe to give me strength. It was one thing to be with another female. It was another to be with another female that was a virgin. Especially with how I liked sex. Siobhan would want soft and romantic if we ever got to the stage. I, however enjoyed more of the kink. Since Phebe passed unto the Fade, when I needed to feed and a release, I went to the local club. No names, no faces. Masks, gags, ropes…those were what I did. Not flowers and hearts. Fuck me!

Siobhan: *I swallowed hard when I hear the words “never been with a male” fall from Ghrimm’s lips. That along with the way he adjusted himself had me clenching my knees tighter together as heat washed over me from head to toe. I’d opened my big mouth and given out a sacred piece of info about myself so I had to handle this solo* When I transitioned I was fed and seen through it thus, but my virtue remained intact. *as I spoke my knees shift towards one side of my chair. There was something about him that brought out the need to be close, to get to know him. I wanted him in ways no other male had ever made me even contemplate. “Scribe and the powers that be help me”, I prayed in my head as I leaned closer letting myself breathe in his scent

Ghrimm: I…I don’t know if I can do this. You’ve never been with a male, and while I respect that…no. I can’t be the one to take it from you. -I scrub my hands over my hand and down my face. How could Phebe tell me it was ok to be with this female when she knew what I was like. I needed to hit something or scream, possibly both with the anger that was rising inside me. Her arousal hit my senses again and I spun around to face her.- Look, I get it, really I do. But you need a male that will give you romance not a broken male who is not into vanilla sex. I’m sorry. I can’t. I have to go. I’m sorry about your father and will forever keep him in my mind. Be safe. -I start to walk away, cursing under my breath at myself for being such an ass. Going to the living room, I grab my jacket and weapons and get ready to walk out the door.-

Siobhan:*I didn’t recoil from his exclamation but rather it spurred me into action. I may not have been physically touched or had that barrier broken inside me, but it didn’t mean I was clueless about what I wanted or how I wanted it. I’d seen the sappy chick flicks and had been bored to tears. What got my blood to pumping was the rougher tie me down and submit movies. Not the 50 shades brand of kink but I mean the darker, rougher, oh so not vanilla stuff. So when he marches off out of the kitchen dropping the fork on the floor with a clatter I am startled* Ghrimm?! Wait! *my body is on autopilot as I jump to my feet and run after him. A voice inside my head whispering, “He needs this. Don’t let him run away”. I had never heard the voice before but it was feminine and kind with an edge of urgency to it. My feet followed that urging until I grabbed his hands with my smaller ones stilling him for the moment* Forgive me but.. *my words stop and I simply act. My hands move to cup his face before I crush my lips to his. I put everything into it going for the shock value of my forwardness* I don’t want sappy. I can’t stand it. I have never wanted that for myself. For some it works but not me. Do you understand? *I prayed that he did or some force would make him understand*

Ghrimm: -I couldn’t help but pull her close after the initial shock of her boldness. I forced her lips open with my hungry tongue, moaning at the taste of supper and wine mixing with hers. Slowly, my hand went up the curve of her back to the nape of her neck. My fingers wrapped around her soft tresses, giving them a sharp tug to break the kiss.- You don’t know what you are saying Siobhan. You are dealing with the loss of your father and being attacked. I would not be gentle with you. And I don’t want to ruin you for your true mate one day. -Pushing her away gently, I grab my things and walk to the door- I’ll see you around Angel. Take care of yourself.

Siobhan: *“Don’t let him walk away”, a female voice I’d never heard before sounded in my head. The effect had me groaning softly in my chest but as I watched Ghrimm’s back as he walked to the door I felt my heart damn near stop in it’s tracks* H..How dare you! *my lips felt swollen from his kiss and I wanted more. But that desire was sidelined by the feeling of being tossed aside unwanted and utterly alone.

I was trembling as my hand snakes out to grab the vase on the end table beside me. The thought being to throw it at his head, but the thought was dropped along with the vase that hit with a thunderous crash on the floor beside my feet. The crystal splinters flying all around while rose petals scattered over my feet amid all the water*

Ghrimm: -I knew the moment she grabbed the vase I hurt her. I prepared myself for the impact, yet was I received instead was the emotional slap she dealt me with her words. Alone. Wasn’t that coincidental? The vase fell from her trembling hand and shattered much like my heart shattered the day Phebe and Cahal died. Just like it did now for a female I barely knew.- I know loss and how you want to just feel alive, even for a split second to take away the loneliness. I know how it feels after and living with that regret every day. I do not wish that upon you Angel. I wish you only love and happiness that I fear I cannot give you. I lost my shellan and young over a year ago. I carry a darkness in me that no one should be around. It consumes me. It would consume you. You have such light and life in you where I only have darkness and death.

Siobhan: : *I groaned as the female’s voice sounded off in my head. She was growing louder by the second until I folded my upper body over and had to grab the sides of my head* N…no you don’t. *the voice that escapes my lips isn’t mine but rather someone else* You might be a warrior but there is more to you than darkness and death. You know that. Just as I do. *my body rises to its full height while tears glisten on my cheeks but the eyes never waver as the one within looks upon Ghrimm’s back*

Ghrimm: -I stop dead in my tracks when she speaks. Shaking my head, I can only assume I have gone certifiably crazy. That couldn’t have been Phebe’s voice that came out of her mouth. Yet when I turn my head to look at her, her toffee hues are now a blue oasis complete with water filling them. I step back from the door, my body trembling. Slowly I reach up and cup her cheek.- Your eyes…they’re blue. Your voice.. Am I crazy? It can’t be. You’re dead. I burned you myself.

Siobhan: *leaning my cheek into your palm while resting a hand on your chest above your heart* This body is not mine as it was. *my now oceanic eyes look at the hand resting on your chest then up to your gray storm filled eyes* You haven’t gone crazy. It is me, hellren. Just not me. *motions towards the curves of the body I’m in* Siobhan has no idea I’m inside her. Her mind is strong but we can live as one. Our souls combining as long as neither of us fights the other like I’m doing now. You have to help us and let us help you. *cupping your face with my thumbs brushing the stubble along your cheeks before grimacing as the other mind fights for control* Please help Siobhan and I become one. Don’t be alone. Don’t let her be alone. *my eyes start to shift between oceanic blue to toffee and back again before I slump forward against your chest*

[madness-rains]

My Little Bird

Wrath: [I had so much to catch up on. It seemed like the piles were stacking up around me. I wasn’t even gone that long. Was I? I had to think back on how long it had been since I was last in my office. I left the mansion to patrol, against the wishes of my ever faithful doggen. I ended up getting wounded. It happens. I expected it to come along sooner or later. But that didn’t mean that I was ready to give up my secret just yet. So my brilliant plan was to disappear to the Other Side. Logically, they had what I needed over there in abundance. Blood. Chosen blood to be precise. So I was stitched up and fed. I hadn’t planned on falling asleep there. None of this was really part of the plan. And when I woke up the Scribe Virgin was laying yet another role at my feet. There was no room for argument. I fingered the medallion that hung from my neck. I knew this was coming. I’d put her off for long enough. I just didn’t expect that it was going to be my duty to fulfill. I was against it from the start. What had happened? I couldn’t exactly say. One minute I was ready to throw up the finger to the goddess of our race and the next I had a Chosen in my arms. A smile came up, unbidden. Yes. That little Chosen was something alright. She had courage. Something so many lacked. But it wasn’t just that. She offered to help me after I just growled at the lot of them, not knowing what I would do. Kind and fearless. It made me hard just thinking about her. She was coming here. It was the only thing that I could think about. Focusing on the politics of being a King were completely lost to me right now. I wanted to wipe all of the reports to the floor and spread her out on top of my desk. She would taste exquisite. The perks of being the Primale. I chuckled darkly until a thought hit me. The Chosen were the main source of blood for the Brotherhood. Not this one. Not my little bird. I didn’t even realize that I was growling until I heard it echo through the room. Fritz poked his head through the door. ‘Is everything alright, milord?’ He’d been unusually quiet since my return. He knew that something was up but I’d kept my pendant hid as well as possible. No doubt he assumed that it had something to do with my patrolling the night before. He wasn’t far off. That was how it all started.] No, old friend. Come in. [Waving him through the door.] I have much to tell you. [I pushed aside the leather jacket that I wore and held the Primale symbol of office up for him to see. There was a gasp from the doggen. Before he could ask, I launched into the story. All of it. There was no sense hiding anything from him. He always had a way of ferreting it out.] There will be a Chosen arriving shortly. You will show her to me.

Waverly: ~I woke like any other day, all of my sisters would meet for breakfast and then see if any of us were called upon for service. It was hit and miss when we were needed to feed the Brothers since there was so many of us and the Brotherhood had dwindled down in numbers. We did help with the trainees with their transitions, but only if they had none other to help them through it. As of late a few were afraid to help them with their transitions since some of the trainees expected more of us than some were willing to provide. We did have one sister, if you wanted to call her that, well, she would do anything. Lets face it, we all talked, and she loved to boast. It sent most blushing; I chose not to partake in her storytelling, not being a prude but I think she tried to fend off the younger sisters with her expertise in what she would call her “talent.” She was not the only one skilled in the art of Ehros. Time here on the Other Side stood still for far too long. The Scribe Virgin had made a rare appearance and gathered us all together a few days ago and introduced us to the new Primale. You could imagine our surprise when we all gathered together, and it was the King who we had lined up for, being first in line my vision wasn’t hampered by the other sisters.  I watched him proceed toward us closely making his way down the hallway, coming to the steps he stumbled a bit. It was never a second thought I grabbed up my robes and made my way to him “My king, let me help you” I whispered softly in hopes only he would hear. I would never offend such a strong warrior or try to belittle one; it was not the Chosen way. He recovered quickly and had me in his arms before I could even bat an eye.  I knew my heart was beating out of my chest as he let me go, after running his tongue down my neck, my eyes closed and I wanted to hold my breath, as the scent of this warrior was intoxicating. I inhaled deeply, trying to be discreet about it, failing I’m sure in a large way. I went back to the line and stood there with no emotion on my face. I knew if he could see the crimson color in my cheeks he could read me like a book. I continued in my stature until he made his way down, stopping at each of us. Of course sister I ooze sex made her way to the special room he would be staying when on this side. I should be happy for her but I was not, he could have picked any one of my other sisters, and I would be glad for them. Just/not/her. I needed to erase those thoughts from my mind; I would be in so much trouble if anyone sniffed out that I felt that way.  I glanced down the line seeing he came to the last of my sisters, you could see the fear in her eyes. She was still quite young and had never seen one of the warriors face to face having never been called on to feed them yet. I knew right away he would be gentle with her, I could tell in his demeanor and how he held her to him. Some of the horror stories of past feedings with certain brothers had been passed down over the centuries, and then some of the most recent before the lesser raids were still fresh. My sisters had already started to leave and go to their lessons or jobs that we were done on a daily basis, and the Warrior made his way to the Primales room closing the doors behind him. I approached and help gather his things handing them to him as he requested, all the time eyeing the one who was now chained in his room……It had been a couple of days since the visit from the new Primale, he was spoken of freely by all the sisters this morning, and after breakfast, we all gathered in the common room and waited for the Directrix to let us know our schedules and or assignments if any was needed. My heart sank when I was summoned to go to the mansion, alone, none of my other sisters. I fought the smile that was dying to come out. I just bowed and held my chosen robes in both my hands and turned making my way to my room to prepare for my leave.  

Wrath: [I couldn’t tell how Fritz truly felt about my revelation. His emotions bounced from one to the next so rapidly that they mixed together in general confusion. I couldn’t help but laugh and I think that frazzled him further.] You did not expect me to take so readily to the idea of being the Primale. [He stuttered and I held up a hand.] No. It’s alright. In truth, I did not either. This is yet one more thing that I do not need on my plate. Yet here we are. And I find the idea somewhat appealing. [Okay, more than somewhat. Maybe I was just being a lusty horndog after all this time. And now I had just inherited forty females that needed me. It was enough to make any male take up religion. Fritz seemed to alter between being happy and worried. I knew the source of his concern was in the fact that I’d taken up fighting again. I couldn’t give him an answer on that one, so I chose to ignore it. For now. He wanted me to tell him that I was done endangering myself. I had higher duties. Especially now. I couldn’t put his mind at ease and he knew me well enough to not push the issue. At least not right now. There was a part of me always threw up the finger when it came to things like duty. ‘I trust in the Scribe’s wisdom and that she would only pick a male of worth who would honor the Chosen and uphold the role of Primale.’ His words shocked me at first. If it had been worded differently it would have sounded like a parent scolding his child. But he had been very careful not to call me a lecherous bastard who didn’t give a shit about the females. My molars ground together as I slowly leaned over the desk. It was the closest Fritz was going to come to outright demanding that I stop fucking around.] We shall see. [Each word was bit off sharply. I couldn’t bring myself to actually be angry with him. He had to put up with my dirty little secret and it was wearing on him. Instantly his emotional slate was wiped clean and he was back to his cheerful demeanor. 'I’ll see that the Chosen is escorted directly herein.’ With a nod from me he left me to my own thoughts.]

Waverly: ~Although I had been here several times over the years, I would always take in the beautiful surroundings of the mansion. The color amazed me each and every time I was here. The grand staircase was pure elegance, and I was sure it held many a story. Standing at the top you could see out throughout the foyer which was broad enough to house half of my sisters, I heard a polite clearing of a throat, with a smile I turned facing Fritz. He was one of the kindest Doggens I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. “Fritz, it brings great joy to be in your presence once again.” Holding out his hand, such a real gentleman, I placed mine on his. I watched as he bowed and I knew better than to ask him to stop, it would, in fact, be rather rude of me, so I kept quiet and waited for direction from him. He still had a hold of my hand when he said, “This way madam, Wrath… I mean the Primale awaits you.” I followed as Fritz led me to the office of the King turned Primale. I entered directly behind Fritz as he announced my arrival then he turned on his heel and facing me holding his hand out once again leading me into the rather large office. I stood before the King in his personal office where I am sure plenty of talk about the outside world took place, a world I was not familiar with but was eager to learn about. The mansion was the only place I had ever visited then it was back to the Other Side until I was called upon again. It was out of habit that I bowed slightly and said. “My Lord” with two handfuls of silk I rose back up waiting for the Primale to acknowledge my presence.~

Wrath: [I could smell her almost the moment she materialized from the Other Side. Down the stairs in the middle of the foyer. Maybe it was because I’d been waiting for her and I imagined that I caught her scent. I envisioned her just the same. My blind gaze stayed fixed on the door as I heard it open. Naturally, Fritz was with her. Perhaps he was right when it came to me and my intentions. I put up with being King mostly because I had to. Even that I threw to the wind when I went out to patrol on my own. Still, sitting here in front of a beautiful Chosen, I could not say that I was completely done with fighting. I heard the swish of fabric and I knew that everything was done in a proper and formal manner. All of the Chosen had that going for them. My nostrils flared, taking in her scent from where she stood. It was actually a good thing that I was sitting down because the desk hid my raging erection rather well.] My Chosen. [I greeted her back with a wicked grin full of fangs. My head swiveled toward Fritz for a millisecond.] Leave us. [The doggen said something that was lost on me and quickly exited the room. As soon as the door was closed, I was up and out of the chair. Faster than a blink I’d crossed the distance between us and was looming over her like a predator about to devour its prey.] I expected you much sooner, Chosen. [My hands were gripped tightly behind my back. It was all I could do not to throw her down on the floor right here. I had no idea that I was wound up so tightly.]

Waverly: ~Fritz was out the door and left me to stand before the Primale.I stood tall with my head high and my back straight. We were well trained our entire existence in the proper etiquette when standing before any male of worth. It was always the warriors; they were the only ones allowed to feed from us. That was our duty, and we all took it seriously. Standing tall as the Primale spoke back to me. I noticed his fangs were already poised to strike as the grin spread on his face. The speed that he moved in was like a cobra strike, and his large form stood over me. I kept my stance, showing no emotion or fear. I had been in this position before, and it was not the first time I had been called upon to feed the Brotherhood. His words were clear and precise. It wasn’t the time I should have been here; it was a need, his need. “Time is not measured on the Other Side my Lord, I do apologize for making you wait.” I did not budge. The heat of his body spoke loud enough to me. I knew This was not going to be a simple feeding of one of the usual warriors, and I fought hard to suppress the way my body responded, knowing I would fail in the end. But this was the Primale, and I knew what was expected of the Chosen.~

Wrath: It is true that time tends to slip away over there. I found it happening to me. [Entire days could slip by and no one would really know it on the Other Side. I began walking a slow circle around the Chosen. If I had eyesight it might seem that I was examining her from all angles. As it was, I was merely moving so that I would not snatch her up. I didn’t want to frightened her. This was not my goal.] I hope that you came because you want to and not simply because I’ve asked you here. [This was important to me. I didn’t want duty to hold someone at my side. I knew what that felt like, I would not impose it on someone else. My feet halted once I was in front of her again. I drew in a slow, deep breath but it did nothing to calm me. A fraction of a step closer and suddenly there was no distance at all between us. My hand dropped to her lower back, almost scooping her to me.] Have you ever seen the whole mansion? [I might possibly be able to give her a tour. If I could keep my hands off of her that is. It wasn’t working so well for me right now though.]

Waverly: ~Standing still was all I could do as the Primale circled me. I don’t ever recall going through this  when coming to feed the wounded or unmated warriors before. But, the King was not the one who was the head of us. We only came to the mansion when the Scribe would instruct the Directrix to give us our sacraments. I held on to every word he spoke. “Yes, we do not keep to time the way you have to over here, but, I will make sure we are all more diligent from here on out My Lord.” The heat that radiated from him was unlike anything I have felt before. My mind wandered to other feedings, some were downright frightening, and made us all weary, I could only hope this would not be one of those times. I took a couple of deep breaths and worked on keeping a steady heartbeat, I had never shown any fear before and did not want to start out this way with the new Primale. I was a bit relieved when he spoke of the Mansion, to say the least, I was a bit shocked. “The Mansion My Lord? No, I can’t ever recall having the pleasure of seeing the mansion.” With his hands now upon my skin, I said a silent prayer in hopes I would not show my real emotions, and the way my body reacted to his touch.~

Wrath: I do not care if all of the Chosen are more diligent. I only care that you are. [I leaned down to run my nose along the side of her face. Drawing in her scent like the finest perfume. I stopped just next to her ear and spoke.] Tell me your name, little bird. [It was sad that I did not know it already. It was part of me putting some distance between myself and the Chosen that I was charged with. But I found that I did not desire that distance with her. I licked just under the lobe of her ear and straightened back up, still holding her at the waist, not wanting to let go. I was determined to show her the mansion but it would not be from a distance. If I stayed where I was it was unlikely that we would leave the room at all. I simply turned toward the door and willed it open once more. The locks made an audible thunk as they released and the thick doors swung outward. I stood there with the Chosen tucked at my side and felt for the first time like a lucky male.]

Waverly: ~My gaze was focused on his every movement.  He moved fluidly. He was the king of his office, it’s like he had roamed this room for a thousand years. I can imagine he spent most of his time in here being the King and all. His face was mere centimeters from mine, then without warning his nose ran across the side of my face, I felt myself incline my head just a bit, letting him familiarize himself with my essence. “My name?” I said stupidly; he wants to know my name. My voice felt like it was going to crack. “Waverly, my lord.” My eyes must have closed the moment he touched my skin; I fluttered them back open. His hand still around my waist. I was not prepared as his tongue ran over my flesh. Instant heat soared throughout my body and seared between my legs.  I was happy in this instance that he could not see me. I was not here for my pleasure, it was about the duty I was born to do, and  I would serve until the day I went to the fade. Hearing the locks on the door right before it opened couldn’t have come at a better time. I was thrilled for the Primale to show me the mansion. This tour would be a first.~

Wrath: Waverly… [I rolled the name over my tongue like the soft caress of a lover.] My Waverly… [I said it again in a much lower tone. One that I might only use in the bedroom. My hold tightened a fraction as I caught the unmistakable scent of arousal. I let out a slow hiss of air and tried to focus on what I had proposed to do. A tour. That’s right. What a stupid idea. How was I supposed to keep it together? Every ounce of control went into something as simple as putting one foot in front of the other.] There is a high probability that you will not actually get to see the entire mansion. [I felt the need to warn the little bird. I knew that my eyes were blazing at this point. All directed at her. You could do that when you didn’t have to watch where you were going. You could show your face to the one next to you as if nothing else in the world existed. In my head, I counted steps until we reached the stairs. All these things I did without even a thought. I used her as much as anything else to really tell me where the actual step was, moving easily with her at my side. I may not know what to do with this new role that I found myself in but Waverly made it easy to take one step at a time.]

[madness-rains]

Memories, Memories

Alice

Alice, although she was considered a creature of the night, absolutely despised hunting during the night time; it reminded her too much of her human life, being consumed with darkness. Usually, the girl felt safer with Jasper around, since he was always able to use his abilities to soothe her. His presence kept her from sinking into her memories and kept the hallucinations away. Even in her "afterlife," her father's actions had taken their toll. She couldn’t bring Jasper along this time. She considered turning around and running on back home, but her throat was bone dry and her eyes were growing darker by the hour. If she had to be around Bella and all that blood… She /needed/ to feed. Alice stepped forward through the forest and, suddenly, she saw a young girl coming out from behind a tree to stand before her. She had long, brown hair and terror filling her visage. It was herself, young Mary Alice Brandon, before she had become immortal, before she had escaped. She knew it was not real. She was imagining it, yes. But, that didn't stop her mind from turning back to clock, forcing her to relive her past once again. Because of the electroshock therapy as a human, Alice did not remember her past life when she was first turned. But, after a few years, she started getting bits and pieces, which all came together eventually. Alice could now remember it all, as if it were yesterday.

"Witch!" Alice's head had turned to see a co-worker of her father's staring and pointing at her. People had stopped to gaze upon the town's 'witch', also throwing a few awful accusations for themselves. Alice's pale skin (which was pale due to her rarely being able to leave the house) grew red before she began to run home to a family who was also terrified of her. Even as a human, Alice was able to see the result of decisions as people made them, even if they were a bit off sometimes. However, Alice soon learned that she should have kept this power to herself. After warning a few members of her family of awful fates, no one took heed of her words until it was far too late. When their lives took horrific turns, she was blamed for causing it all. To the people of Bixoli, Mississippi, Alice was an evil, unholy /thing/. The only person who ever listened to her warnings was her mother, but not even that saved her. After having a vision of her mother's murder, she warned her, but no one would listen besides Mrs. Brandon. Therefore, no one was there to protect her. Alice's vision of her mother's murder came true and Alice was then truly alone.

The murder was ruled an accident, and her father quickly remarried. Alice, from then on, kept her visions to herself and things began to die down for her. People stopped screaming at her on the street and her life slowly began to grow a bit more normal. But, one day, the girl went on a walk and saw a new vision of her father speaking with his new wife. The conversation revealed the murderer to be her very own father, just so he could remarry. By the time she had built up the courage to tell someone and have him locked away, it was too late. Her father had noticed her odd behavior and instantly knew she had seen something that would incriminate him. He told the police and everyone else that her "issues" had stirred up again and that she was clinically insane.

One morning, two large, scary-looking men came into her bedroom and began packing up her things. "Wh-what are you doing?!" She rose from her bed, still groggy from sleep as she watched them tear her room apart. One of them stopped to look at her, his expression blank and hard as stone. He explained to her, in a matter of fact tone, that she had been admitted into a mental institution far from home. "That can't be true!" She bounded off her bed, rushing out to her father's bedroom, shoving the door open. But, he was no where to be found. Before she could even turn around, strong arms gripped her, tugging her out of the house. She screamed, fighting against their grasp but it was no use. Alice screamed until they arrived to the institution, where she was gagged and shaven bald. They began tugging her through a hallway full of locked rooms with steel doors that only had a tiny slot for food. She could hear people banging against their doors, shouting nonsense. Her fear only grew stronger, but no matter how hard she fought, she could never get away. They finally threw her into an empty room, which had blood and hard claw marks all over to lower ends of the walls. She examined it for a moment, noticing that there were no lights or windows, before turning to ask how long she would be here, but the door slammed shut. Darkness. That was all she saw for years. Until her immortality saved her.

Alice blinked, back in the woods once again. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief, clasping her hands together, trying to keep herself calm. "Stop it," she whispered to herself, shutting her eyes tightly. Alice knew it was over and that she no longer had to fear the night, but it always brought her back, and it always would.

[madness-rains]

Beast Out Mode

Rhage

{I was cruisin down the busy streets of Caldwell, the bass in my GTO was on point that I could feel the beast thumping in rhythm with the tune. I popped a fresh Tootsie in my mouth and began scanning the streets for any type of action. It was my night on rotation, and I was supposed to hook up with #Phury in less than an hour, I am sure he was trying to score some smoke, not the crazy red kind he was into fine cigars here lately. Hey, who was I to judge if it helped him with his demons I was supportive. Well, he wasn’t so happy when I put soap in some of his last cigars, I found it hilarious, him, not so much. I passed an alley not too far from where I was to hook up with #Phury when a sweet smell wafted up my nose. I slammed on the breaks doing an 180 going back to turn down the alleyway. I threw the goat into park, jumping out I threw my tootsie to the ground and let my shitkickers pound at the pavement heading towards the sound of a fight. With daggers in both hands, skidding to a stop I seen #Phury in battle, he had two lessers trying their best to take him down. I skidded to a stop and leaned against the brick wall in the middle of the alley. “Yo, pretty boy, you got this?” I sheathed one dagger and took the other acting as if I was cleaning under my fingernails. “You made me waste a perfectly good Tootsie on two lessers.” Looking out the corner of my eye I saw another lesser trying his best to sneak in on the fun I called out. “Yo, #Phury, you have incoming at 2 O’Clock.” I caught the attention of the newest lesser, with a goofy grin on my face I gave a cutesie wave and blew a kiss at him. “You can come over here and play; I am game.” I pushed off the brick wall with a smile on my face. I was bored and needed some entertaining, and this was just the start of our night. I palmed my dagger, unsheathing it and twirling it around before pointing it ahead and picking out a lesser from the now crowd forming. “Come on princess don’t be shy.” I started walking towards the now eager lesser; he wanted to take me down as much as I did he. Without any more words between us, the lesser rushed me with what looked like a billy club. I lowered my head slightly looking at him like a bull ready to charge as I lunged at him. The sonic blast of our bodies hitting each other rang in my ear, the lesser went flying back against the wall, but he was swift to collect his senses and rush me once more. I was ready for him when I was jumped by two others whom must have snuck in while I was somewhat engaged with the first one. “Damn, was there a blue light special in the old lady section? Y'all smell like funk doused with powder to cover up your stank.” I round kicked one of the trios, and my shitkicker left an imprint on the side of his face. “That’s gonna leave a mark.” I hovered over him and sank my dagger right into his heart, slick black like oily muck was pouring from his nose before the bright flash lite up the alley like the fourth of July. I wish #Butch were here to consume these motherfuckers, and I hated sending them back to their pimp only to be reborn again. “Yo, #Phury, can you hurry your little princess ass up man, I want to see Mary sometime tonight, she will be lonely in that big bed of ours.” We were finishing up with the child's play when out of site, but not out of hearing range I heard some chatter of the old world. The beast was itching to come out at just the sound. I rose, turning my head slightly to see a few of the Bastards at the opening of the alley. #Xcor stood in front flanked by his flunkies. I could feel the beast taking over, and I yelled out to #Phury “Man, you better ringy ding V, shits about to get real.” That was the last thing I remember saying before I could no longer control the dragon on my back.}

#BeastOutMode

#MadnessRains

[madness-rains]

#Vhexation #IntroSolo

My father was always an angry man. Volatile. Violent. Verbally abusive. My mahmen and I, we didn’t talk about it, of course. Not to each other, and certainly not in public. That would bring shame upon the family, and we just couldn’t have that. Not when he was on the Princeps Council. But his temper was something I bore the brunt of all my young life, keeping it secret for the sake of tradition and order.

I was small, scrawny, and quiet. I learned early that it was safer to be seen and not heard, and better still to avoid being seen as much as possible. As a result, I spent a lot of time in my room, reading, filling my mind with military history, astronomy, marine biology…anything that let me pretend I was anywhere other than in that house. I’ll admit to having hidden from him whenever he was in one of his rages. I’m not proud of it. I simply knew there was no other way I was going to survive.

Seeing the way he was with my mother soured me on the institute of marriage. I didn’t understand how The Virgin didn’t step in to help her or me. I prayed often enough, and I’m sure my mother did too. Nothing worked, though. I had to watch the same scene play out again and again, and I was helpless all those years to stop him.

When I was about nine or ten, for instance, my father was on a rampage, and The Scribe Virgin only knows why. Maybe someone had made him angry at a Council meeting. Perhaps the leahdyre didn’t take his advice or vote his way. Or the supper might have been thirty seconds later than he wanted it.  It didn’t really matter, I came to realize when I was older. Whatever the trigger, it wasn’t really the reason. There was something broken in him and it meant that we lived on the edge of a knife all the time whenever he was home.

I remember sitting at the table, my legs still short enough, they didn’t touch the floor, and I kicked the chair legs as I poked at my food, trying to remain invisible and ignore the conversation my parents were having. My father was talking to my mahmen, explaining something, and as he spoke, he became more animated. My mahmen could see the warning signs of the storm brewing, and she became quieter and quieter, nodding and simply agreeing with whatever he said, though I am fairly sure she had no true understanding of the subject. Eventually, he realized this and took offense, slamming his fists on the table so hard the dishes bounced.

Freezing in place, the way frightened rabbits do when a predator approaches, I sat there staring down at my plate as he began ranting about how she never paid any attention to what he said, his fury escalating, and I could feel her shrinking down into herself from where I sat. Before I knew what was happening, I heard a loud smack, and Mahmen fell backwards, her chair clattering on the hard wooden floor and her head hitting with a thump. I ducked under the table to hide, but I remember clearly that she never said a word, only gasped softly and looked at me, and her expression told me to run, though her lips never moved.

Huddled there, barely daring to breathe, I nodded, and then began crawling away. As I reached the hall and was scrambling to my feet to run to my room, I remember looking over my shoulder and seeing him grasp her by the hair to drag her up to him. The helplessness I felt in that moment was worse than anything he could have done to me. I couldn’t save her, and I knew it. She had given me a chance to escape, and I took it, though I felt like a coward.

I ran down the hall and up the stairs to my bedroom, my heart pounding like mad. I remember closing the door and locking it, though if he had tried to get in, I have no doubt he could have. I ran to the closet and climbed inside, closing the door behind me and leaving me fumbling around there in the dark.

The hanging clothes brushed my face as I pushed my way into the corner. My shoes jabbed into my backside, and I shoved them over as quietly as I could. Breathing in panting panicked gasps, I tucked my knees up to my chin and hugged them to my chest, I clasped a hand over my mouth for fear he might hear me. “Thump, thump, thump” went my heart, pounding loud in my ears. I heard my mahmen’s cries even through the closed doors, and I buried my face against my knees, poking my fingers in my ears so I wouldn’t hear her anymore.

Somehow, I fell asleep like that, too afraid to move, and I woke up with my lower body all pins and needles from the awkward position I’d been sitting in all night.

When I went down to breakfast, they both acted as though nothing had happened. Wherever he had hit her, it was hidden beneath her clothes, so they wouldn’t have to explain the bruises to anyone. I knew, though, she had to have been badly injured, and possibly had broken ribs as a result of whatever he’d done.

I wish I could say this was the worst or even the only time I witnessed their toxic relationship, but that isn’t the case. Domestic violence was my constant companion and my secret that I could never share with anyone. Through it all, my mother bore the worst of it, and there was no escape or safety in that house.

Once I transitioned and filled out, however, there was no need for me to fear him. In fact, I think once he realized I was capable of fighting back, our roles were reversed, and he was the one avoiding me all of a sudden. His incidents were less frequent, and he kept them out of my view. It was never something we discussed, Mahmen wouldn’t have allowed that, but I had no illusions that he had changed. My bulk simply made him cautious.

This realization, coupled with my lifelong experiences, soured me on any thoughts of marriage whatsoever. Mahmen tried to talk to me once about finding a mate, and I told her flat out that no female would ever suit me. The very idea of taking on the same role as my father turned my stomach. That is what being mated looked like to me. I had no other basis of comparison. For all I knew, it was the same for everyone else as well, and they were all putting on a show in order to save face. In my mind, it was better to keep to myself and avoid the whole situation. That doesn’t mean I don’t like females. I do. But breeding with one wasn’t something I had any interest in. Not ever. I took blood from those who offered themselves for that purpose, but I never wanted to let one get too close to me. I never wanted to be like my father, and I had this notion in my mind that I was soiled goods, not worthy of anyone.

There’s a reason I keep everyone at arm’s length, and I refuse to explain myself to anyone. Push me on it, you’ll find out the reason for my name. I prefer to focus on ridding the world of lessers and channeling my energy in that direction. I don’t want complications or questions, and I don’t need anyone but me.

[madness-rains]

Just Me

Sam

Every night I toss and turn in a bed too big for even a guy like myself. Between the hours of three and four I sit on her side, aimlessly staring at the digital numbers change on the alarm clock beside me.

Three thirty....

Three thirty one....three thirty two.

I mindlessly mumble each number as my warm digits trace the cold sheet at my sides. Dark rings encompass both eyelid, sleep threatening to reel me in safely...

But to no avail.

The beast with dark fur begins its nightly ritual of weeping for the woman. The woman its human self could no longer hope to claim.

She was gone now. Unable to keep the secret inside her once I brought up children.

[ Sam...I'm so sorry, I..I honestly don't know how to tell you this. ]

"Tell me...what?" I asked weakly, reaching for her shaking hands as my fingers coupled and laced with hers. I was beginning to think she was sick. Couldn't have kids...No problem, I chuckled briefly as I smiled at her.

"I don't need kids. I have you, Baby." The intimate name I shared with her caressed the forehead I leaned in to kiss, but she shook her head.

Her palms broke free from mine, and traced down to the night gown near her stomach. Her digits pushed deep into her belly as tears began to cascade off the regrettable scar.

[ I have...a little one inside me. ]

There were no words after that. My arms flew over her frame, embracing her rather small body near mine. I had everything I ever wanted here with me, here, right now. All I ever needed.

[ Samuel listen. ]

Samuel? She never calls me that unless I absolutely screw things up. I pull back, only some, puzzingly gawking into those chocolate orbs.

"I am, Emily."

[ The father...it...the baby belongs to another man. ]

Another?

I begin to laugh nervously, reaching for her hands to which she quickly retracted up toward her face. The tears fell faster.

"Don't joke like this, Em. It's..It can't be true." I begin to insist. "It's not. Tell me it's not....TELL ME!"

My life mate sank down to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably as she shook her head slowly.

It was at that moment that I felt ill. Sick to my stomach, ready to purge every last ounce of negativity I kept inside me since the day I caught Josh walk out the door. I didn't though. This wasn't a normal sickness.

My knees fell to the ground, limbs beginning to tremble as my bones grinded and realigned into its canid skeleton.

"Run away!" I screamed in a hoarse tone, the pain I felt during my first phase returning with a vengeance. I used every ounce of my being to contain myself until I heard the front door close--then the blood curdling scream came.

Three thirty....three thirty one...

My vision was obscured, the usual color blindness evident enough as the numbers in front of my warm body began to flicker and change.

The control I had learned to break free from this form was gone. I felt frantic, trapped inside a large mess of fur that just lied there on my wooden floor. Weeping. Broken. Dying.

I laid in the same position in that same room for an entire day and night cycle before my eyes lifted open, with coloured visibility.

Surely I passed out, because as soon as I hesitated to investigate I began noticing her meaningful belongings were gone.

Our pictures were gone. Her mother's necklace, always draped over her nightstand was missing. In its place was the engagement ring that matched what I wore on my finger up until that very moment I realized what had actually happened.

I evaded contact for a whole week, convincing work, friends and the tribal elders that I had contracted an illness that required bedrest. "Emily is with me," I'd lie.

She wasn't. A letter I received in the mail was addressed from Neah Bay. I never read it.

That entire week, I slept on the same couch the guys would couple on as she'd prepare dinner and snacks. I cried and shouted out angrily, at myself, for allowing this damn spiritual claim to gloss over my eyes at the truth. The relationship was destined to fail, and I was alone again.

No drunken sperm doner of a father. No Allison. No Leah. No Emily.

[madness-rains]

The Caller

Mary

<It was strange to find myself in a fantasy world, surrounded by vampires with one that turned into a dragon when he got mad. Sometimes I was use to it and other times it all felt so unreal. Like I would wake up and find myself back home after another treatment. That was something that I didn’t have to worry about anymore. No matter how many times I tried, I still couldn’t exactly wrap my head around it all. I had, by my side, the most incredible guy that a girl could ask for. I lived in an expensive mansion where I didn’t have to lift a finger. I didn’t have to worry that my illness would come back to haunt me. What more could a girl ask for? I mean seriously, I had it all. Then why did I feel so disconnected? It was more like I was reading a story about what could happen to someone like me then it was to actually be living the reality. I should count my blessings. Literally. I should sit down and write them all out. Read it over and over again until it actually sunk into my head that this was really happening.>

<I left the mansion early. The sun hadn’t even set yet. Rhage would be on patrol tonight so he wouldn’t even know that I’d gone. It had actually become a habit for me now. Every night that he was on patrol I would leave the mansion and head into town. No, I wasn’t following after him, or even looking for him. I was actually still giving my time to the suicide help line. I had to give back. The world kicked me around for so long and I held out. I held out til the bitter end and through some miracle I made it out the other side. Not everyone else was so fortunate. So I found myself sitting on the other side of a phone call. I might be the only person that poor soul talked to and I wasn’t giving that up. I never really knew if it helped. The only way that I had any idea was if the person called back. If they called back then that meant they held out for that much longer. They found something to cling to that kept their foot out of the grave. If I was there to help just one person then it was worth it.>

<If Rhage knew that I was still doing this he would probably insist that someone come with me. It wasn’t exactly the best part of the town that I worked from. It didn’t scare me anymore. Nothing scared me anymore. I had Rhage. And because of that, I couldn’t die. It was weird to think about sometimes. I mean he went out every night and put his life on the line for this great war between vampires and lesser. If he died, heaven forbid, I would follow him. It was that simple. My ticket was already punched, I just didn’t know when it would happen. Until then, I would live the life that I wanted to. I would help those who needed me to listen to them.>

<I sat down at my desk and picked up the headset. My first call was ready and waiting. I answered with the customary greeting and heard the familiar voice on the other end. Frank. Or at least that was what he went by. It was like he always knew when I was there and was ready with my first call of the night. Sometimes he would tie me up for hours on end. He was obsessed. I knew this. He even admitted it. The long period of time that I was absent was a dark time for Frank. He admitted this all to me. He was not a potential suicide. No, Frank was an entirely different animal. Me talking to him kept him from acting out. I might say that nothing scared me but this man truly made me nervous. I had no idea what he was actually capable of. I’d spoken to my supervisor about him. The phone calls were recorded and the police knew all about Frank. They tried to track him down once but soon gave up on that front. The official word was that he hadn’t done anything yet, so they couldn’t do anything about him.>

<‘Mary...,’ Frank practically purred my name. It sent shivers down my spine and made me want to run for the door. ‘I’ve missed you so much. You are later than usual.’ I almost turned and puked in the waste basket beside me. This was getting worse…> You have to stop Frank. This line is for a specific purpose and you are abusing it. I’m going to hang up now. <My finger hovered over the ‘end call’ button.>

<’Don’t you DARE hang up on me, Mary! You know what will happen if you hang up on me! I’ll do it Mary! I swear I will!’ I cringed to the point where if felt like I was trying to hide in my shirt. He threatened to find some innocent girl and do terrible things to her over the course of days. It was that threat that police did take seriously but without there being any actual crime, they couldn’t do much. Only watch, and wait.>

<My supervisor walked up to the desk and ended the call with one punch of her finger. My eyes went wide.> What have you done?! You know what he will do! <She disconnected the phone before I could pick up the frantic call back. My hands were shaking as I took the headset off. I didn’t want to be responsible for someone falling a victim to Frank. ‘That prick has terrorized you for long enough. Go home, Mary. Take the night off. We will be fine here. Have a drink or three and don’t even worry about that asshole. The police have been keeping track of this and they will be on him in heartbeat if he even thinks of stepping out of line.’>

<She was wrong. I knew she was wrong. The police didn’t know who Frank really was. And they definitely didn’t know where he was. But she was right about one thing, I couldn’t stay here for the rest of the night. I couldn’t even stop my hands from shaking long enough to grab my purse. Something terrible was going to happen and it would be my fault.>

<’He’s all bark and no bite, Mary. You’ll see. He’ll be calling back the next time you come in. Probably to apologize for being such a douchebag.’ My supervisor draped my purse over my shoulder and touched my back as if that would reassure me. ‘Go find that sexy husband of yours and enjoy the rest of your evening.’ She turned her back and walked away as if things were just that simple. I knew better. I knew what evil was actually capable of.>

<I stepped out of the small office building that we used as a call center and almost broke down right there. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this anymore. I didn’t want to be responsible for what Frank might do if he was truly off his rocker. I took two steps toward my car when a shadow moved out of a darkened alcove. Before I could reach for my pepper spray arms wrapped around me from behind. Some kind of cloth was placed over my nose and mouth. NO! I kicked backward and connected with something solid that made the arms loosen their hold. I stumbled forward and instantly fell to the ground. His leg had swooped out to trip me up before I got anywhere. I turned to get a good look at my assailant, fisting my keys in my hand. He was tall. But nothing like my Rhage. More on the scrawny side with a wild head of black hair. There was pure madness in his eyes. I threw my fist out, intending to gouge the hell out of his face with the keys. He caught my wrist at the last moment and twisted it to the point of almost snapping. ‘Now, now, Mary. Is that any way to treat your favorite caller?’ He drawled out my name like it was turning him on just to say it. I screamed as loud as I could before everything went black.>

[madness-rains]

Visit From The Fade

-Normally my nightmares are dark and filled with screams. So I am either dead or hallucinating. All around me is white and I hear song birds instead of my shellan and young’s cries. Maybe I had internal bleeding or something from the fight last night. “Ghrimm… you are not dead.” Spinning around so fast I literally fall on my ass I see Phebe holding Cahal, his blonde curls falling in his gray eye. “Surely the Scribe can not be so cruel to give me a vision of you and condemn me to Dhuid.” I reach for her and she kneels next to me, setting Cahal on my lap. “The Scribe Virgin is not cruel Hellran. She has given me this chance to tell you we are well and it is time to move on. That female you saved will save you. She is your angel. Do not fight what you feel because of us. We will always be in your heart, but your heart can hold so much more. Be her warrior just as you were mine.” Cahal tapped my cheek with his tiny hand and gave me a kiss only a toddler can give. Phebe smiled and kissed my her cheek, her lips searing my flesh. “I love you so much Phebe and our young. How can I move on from you?” She stood and took our young from my grasp, smiling sadly. “Your angel will show you how. Let her in and let her guide you. We will always watch over you.” With a final nod, they vanished from my sight. I awoke with a start, silent tears falling down my cheeks. Quickly I brushed them away and looked to the bed. The female was gone and if not for the smell of food, I would have panicked, thinking she was taken. Groaning at the stiffness of my body, I worked my way to my feet and found the bathroom, hitting the head. I caught sight of myself I nth mirror and sure enough a faint outline of a kiss was on each cheek. My fallen shellan and young had visited me from the Fade and told me to trust the female I saved. Now can I let myself do as they said?-

[madness-rains]

#DayAfter #MadnessRains

(Mention: @Ghrimm_ )

*I tossed and turned hearing my father’s words over and over before he was gutted then the dream shifts. I am standing in a field filled with the most stunningly vibrant wildflowers I have ever beheld then from seemingly nowhere there’s a hand dropping onto my shoulder. When I turn around I am looking into the eyes of my father. I am stunned with disbelief, but his smile calms any fear. “All is well. I am with your mahmen, little angel. She sends her love”, he looks behind him aa another voice calls his name then turns back to me. “I can’t stay long but know you aren’t alone. Trust in the warrior who came to help. He needs your help as much as you will need his. Remember all we taught you and that we love you” with that he vanished before my eyes and I fell back into my body jerking awake. Had all that been just a dream from a grief stricken mind? I inhale slowly and can still smell the scent of wildflowers as if I was still standing in the field itself. It takes me a few minutes to figure out that I’m in my room on my bed, but how did I get here? As I swing my legs off thw bed my feet touch… A body!* What the?! *a hand slaps across my mouth to stifle the scream that’s lodged in my throat as I peer over the bed’s edge to find @Ghrimm_ stretched out on the floor with an arm curled beneath his head. His face looks serene if that’d be a word to describe a face etched with lines of battle and the edge to kill when needed. I kept looking at him and could almost /see/ there was a deep seated pain in his features like the one that comes with the loss of someone very close. I bite my lip as that tidbit comes clear in my mind like I’m reading a thought I shouldn’t I snap out of the semi trance and hears my stomach grumble about the lack of food* Okay. Okay. Food is coming. *I ease my foot over to the far side of @Ghrimm’s wide frame and tiptoes to my closet. I leave the door open as I grab the few things I needed then heads to the bathroom just down the hall to take a shower and change into shorts and a tank top. My hair I let air dry after toweling it dry all I can and brushes it out before taking the towels and dirty clothes to the laundry. I grab another towel and leaves it in the bathroom before I walk towards the kitchen and gathers what I need to make spaghetti and garlic knots. I was in the mood for italian not to mention the need for the true sustenance of blood, but that I could stave off as I inhale the aromas of the food simmering. Silently wondering when @Ghrimm_ might wake and how long he’d be here*

[madness-rains]

Shared Grief #MadnessRains

( @FateOfAnAngel & @Ghrimm_ )

Siobhan: *As the shutters rise I lay staring at the clock. I’d dreamt of my papa lying in a pool of blood and had awaken several hours earlier screaming from the sight of him being gutted before my eyes by a male with pasty skin. “Lessers”, I’d whispered to the room almost fearful one might here me* Get it together. It was just a dream filled with your worst fears. *I preached to myself like one of the evangelists on TV I’d heard in passing. I knew it was a dream, but a deeper part of me knew it meant more. I’d had dreams about various things before like before mahmen had died and then again when friends had passed unto the Fade. Each time had felt as real as if I were there and this one I /had/ been there. The scared daughter in me wanted to call my papa and tell him that we should take the night off and just spend quality time together, but he’d have told me that the club and restaurant were our quality time. He had a way of making me laugh even without being in the room. That fact had me blowing out a breath while running my fingers through my hair* Tonight will be amazing! No worries. *as I continued my personal pep talk I swung my legs over the side of the bed sitting up then rose to stand. I pushed the dream to the recesses of my mind and headed towards my bathroom to shower and get ready for #ClubAbsynthe. Business wouldn’t wait for anyone, but I couldn’t quite push the image of a single male built like a living wrecking ball who’d rushed into view before I’d awakened screaming at the sight of my papa’s dead figure. He stirred something inside me and made me feel safe, but who was this mystery male or had my subconscious formed him to protect my mind in that moment. Whatever the case may be as I showered my skin tingled with rising goose bumps and I wondered just what the dream could mean*

GHRIMM: -After planning out the areas I was going to search tonight, I got dressed in my leathers, pulled on a black tee and tied my shit kickers. I strapped my daggers to my chest, added a smaller one to each boot and tucked my SIGs in the small of my back. I threw on my biker jacket and headed out the door. Rounding the corner of my street, I checked for any witnesses and calmed myself, scattering my molecules across Caldwell to the block before #ClubAbsynthe. I hadn’t been to this part of town yet in my search for revenge but for some reason I was pulled here tonight. The neon of the “Open” sign stung my eyes for a second. I began my ritual of patting each weapon, saying a prayer that tonight revenge would be served and taking the locket I wore around my neck out, opening it and kissing Phebe and Cahal’s picture. My feet took control as I started down the street, my eyes sweeping every dark corner and doorway.-

Siobhan: *the evening had been relatively calm given the music, drinks and grinding of bodies against each other but that had become the norm so I’d adjusted my hearing like an unseen volume knob inside my head to quiet the oftentimes disconcerting concerto of it all. The only thing plaguing me was the dream I had had involving my papa and I felt that impending dread settle over me. I couldn’t even concentrate on the figures for the evening because of it. I glanced at my watch and saw it was time for the bouncers, bartenders and bar backs to be cleaning things up so I slapped my palms on the desk hard enough that my skin stung* Screw this. I need to check the floor and make sure everyone is clearing out the stragglers. *I needed the distraction of the end of night so I headed out of the office and down to the main floor. I was met by the sight of one of the bouncers, #Joey, walking a couple out to an awaiting cab while #Heather and #Micah cleaned behind the bar. There were a couple of regulars in the back walking towards the front with #Abigail and #Katrina. These girls had become family to me when I’d met them as orphans. They had no family, no rights and needed a home. They’d been like I was when I was an infant so I took them in. Each earning a place in my life as friends… as sisters in a way. I was caught up in the memory that I didn’t catch the scent of baby powder and death until it felt like I was going to choke. Everything seemed to blur in that instant as the melee began. First it was #Joey he was trying to defend the front bar so #Heather and #Micah could run, but the enemy was faster. All three went down. Finally I found my feet even as #Abigail and #Katrina screamed. The regulars were big men, but with what they were fighting they were useless. I launched at the one defiling #Heather with a blade. Her lifeless body jerking amid all the blood and guts being strewn on the floor. I lashed out trying to rid her corpse of the humiliation to get stabbed in the stomach for my efforts. My screaming plea for help was heard or I hoped it was as I saw my papa running in. He surveyed the scene with eyes that seemed to know what he was processing. His body fluid in its movements as he struck one Lesser in the chest killing the heart but he couldn’t match the assault of the other four beasts. My dream was becoming a reality and as I screamed I pushed up off the floor rushing towards the closest one knowing I’d go into the Fade this night just to save my father’s life*

Ghrimm: -As I rounded the corner of the club, I caught the sickening scent of baby powder. A group of lessers headed into the club, sinister smiles on their faces as they pushed open the door. I prayed the place was empty of humans at least but that was not the case. Once I got inside the body count was impressive but I didn’t waste time. A piercing scream of a female caught my attention just as one lesser stabbed her in the stomach. Pulling my daggers out I leapt over the pile of bodies and went straight for the female, stabbing the lesser back to his maker. Movement to my left caught my eye. An older male was fighting two lessers and losing. His strength leaving him with each blow he gave. I tore off my shirt and pressed it to the female’s stomach.- Keep pressure on your wound. I will take care of them. -With that I went to help the old male clean house.-

Siobhan: *I don’t know how long I screamed, but the face in my field of vision stopped me midstep as he pressed a makeshift bandage to my stomach. I was trying to see around him to what was happening to my father but his form was so imposing that all I could see was him* Save him. *my voice was trembling with the fear of losing the one remaining family member I had left. My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest as I begged the unknown male before me to help us. He was gone from in front of me without another word and joined into the fray before me. I saw the quick jabs of fists and the glint of a blade being drawn into battle. Each move the male made was with the trained skill of a fighter one honed like a surgically crafted tool of destruction. As I took my next breath to warn the male of a Lesser coming from behind him my father stepped in between. The blade the foul thing had slammed home inside his gut with the sickening squelch I would dream about for days to come* PAPA! NO! *screaming out I ran forward grabbing a blade from the warrior’s side and drove it deep into the Lesser’s chest. My eyes hazed with the red of anger, hatred and the need to kill regardless of what might happen to me. The eyes on the foul thing went wide with surprise before his soul was sent back to his maker leaving me trembling as I heard my father whisper, “Angel”*

Ghrimm: -I was in mid fight when I felt one of my blades being taken from my side and heard an all out feral cry from the female. Quickly I finished the lesser in front of me before turning towards the female just in time to see her stab the last one with such rage I was surprised her whole arm didn’t penetrate the lesser’s chest. Only once she fell to her knees did I see what was the cause if her rage. The old male was on the floor, blood seeping through his shirt and a few other places. He would not survive the night. Against better judgment I went over to the female and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.- I am sorry I failed you. He fought strong, like a true male of worth. We need to get you tended to though, unless you plan on joining him this night.

Siobhan: *I was cradling my father’s head on my lap not caring that my blood was still flowing from my own wound or that my father’s blood was pooling about my knees. This male was all I had tethering me to this world. He’d raised me as his and as I felt his final breath escape his lips I spoke in a language I didn’t know I even knew. “Fair thee well, papa. Find mahmen & be happy. I will avenge you & bring honor to your name.”, was what I whispered in the unknown language. Then I felt the warrior’s hand fall on my shoulder drawing my tear stained face up to look at him* My father. I can’t. We can’t. *all words stopped when I heard a demonic laugh from the back of the club. There was another and it sounded like he said, “You’re next” before a loud boom and flash filled the room. The lone Lesser was gone and in his wake was a fireball shooting directly towards us*

Ghrimm: -That laugh….it was the same laugh I heard in my nightmares, the same I heard the night my family was brutally murdered. He was here and just in reach. I stood to go after him, my fangs descending in pure hatred. My nose caught the scent of black powder and sulfur just before the back of the club lit up like the fourth of July. Fuck! Seconds seemed like hours as time slowed down and the fire burst towards us. In one swoop, I bent down and picked up the fallen male, tossing him over one shoulder then wrapped my arm around the tiny female and bolted out of there before we became crispy. Once we were a safe distance from the inferno, I set the female down before the male. Crouching next to her, I took her face in my hands, wiping a tear from her cheek. As much as I wanted to go after the bastard who not only took my family, but this female’s as well, she needed me more.- We need to move before the humans come and you need to be tended. Where can I take you?

Siobhan: *I didn’t really gasp as much as groan when in the span of one heartbeat to the next I was outside coughing as the putrid smell of smoke and was singed into my nostrils. I could see the club and adjacent restaurant were completely engulfed in flames until the large male filled my vision with his face as he lifted my face to make me look at him. It was then I saw his eyes and I felt a calm settle in my mind long enough for me to answer* Our house is down the street. *I wasn’t thinking about myself in that instant as I could make out the flashing lights and hear the sirens of fire & rescue* We can go there.

Ghrimm: -Against my better judgment I again picked up the male and female and started down the street, my feet carrying us fast before any witnesses could see us. A few blocks later the female told me to stop. We were in front of a small house that must be theirs. Setting her down long enough for her to open the door, I looked over my shoulder, making sure nothing followed us here. Inside, I set the male on the couch and went over to the female, making her lay on the smaller one. I needed to check the extent of her injuries.- Lay back female. I need to see how badly you are injured. If nothing too serious, I can fix you up. If not, we will have to seek someone with more medical training than I.- Thankfully before my world was ripped apart, I ran with the Caldwell Ambulance as a paramedic/EMT. While I couldn’t operate, I could stitch and dress wounds with the best of them.-

Siobhan: *the trip home was quick so I had to tell the warrior, “Stop”, before he passed. It wasn’t anything extraordinary but it was home. Once he laid me or rather told me to lay on the small settee I glanced over at my father’s lifeless body and had to put a hand to my mouth to choke back the sob that threatened. It seemed my time with #James and #Iris had been short. Too short actually and I felt the tears fall again* Do what you need to? *my eyes felt heavy and every sound seemed to dim as I looked at the mysterious warrior again. Something about his eyes held pain. The kind that meant he’d felt the pain of loss much like I was feeling. It was in this instant that the memory of my dream came back and for the briefest of glimpses I saw /this/ warrior’s eyes staring back at me* Why? *I didn’t realize I’d said it out loud, but I was asking myself why the dream and could it have been more a premonition than I’d tried to make myself believe. Then my eyes rolled back and darkness settled over my senses as I fell into a state of unawareness and vulnerability*

Ghrimm: -I knew she was going to pass out from a combo of blood loss and adrenaline crash the moment she laid back. That actually worked in my favor as I was able to get a good look at her injury. I went into the kitchen and grabbed some clean towels water and some alcohol I found in a cabinet. Coming back to her, I set my supplies down and went to work lifting her shirt up to see the damage. Soaking a towel in water i began cleaning the area of the blood, worried more of it was hers than the male’s who must be her father. Once cleaned, i poured some alcohol on the towel and disinfected the wound. Thankfully it wasn’t too deep but enough that I would need to stitch her up. Off I went in search of a needle and thread. Room after room I looked, until I found a sewing kit on a dresser in a bedroom. Not the best but it would stop the bleeding and that’s really all I wanted to do at this point. Coming back to her I began the task of stitching up the 2 inch gash, careful to make it as neat as I can. It took no time to stitch, although my heart clenched with every hiss she made unconsciously. Sitting back on my heels, I composed myself. I haven’t fed another female since Phebe, but this female stirred something inside me. She would be fine until she could find someone and I should get back out there and find the asshole who did this but looking at her pale and grief stricken face made me hurt for her. Before I talked myself out of it, I scored my wrist with my blade and held it over her slightly parted lips, softly telling her to take from me.- Drink female. You need my strength.

Siobhan: : *I wasn’t sure what was happening or the sounds escaping my lips while I was out, but the sound of the warrior’s voice coupled with the scent of his blood stirred my eyelids to flutter open. “Was he truly offering me this gift?”, I mentally mused before the need to feed overpowered my sense of reasoning. My fangs elongating as the richness and power of his blood draws me closer. I feel the warmth sliding down my throat as finally my fangs meet his scored flesh. Every cell inside me warms as the vital nutrients I need heals each one in turn while I turn my eyes up towards his face needing to see him if but for one last time*

Ghrimm: -I let out a growl when I feel the sweet sting of her fangs pierce my flesh. Almost immediately my body and heart react to her. Once she opens her eyes, it’s all I can do not to place a kiss on her flushed skin. Instead I brush the stray hair from her face and offer a compassionate smile.- Stay with me Angel. I’m not losing another to him. -Closing my eyes for the briefest second, I send a silent prayer to the Scribe Virgin that this female make it through the night and I do not make a mistake by her. When I open them again, I do give in to my instinct and place a soft kiss on her head, inhaling her sweet scent along with that of lessers and smoke. It is then that I feel the ice that has encased my heart begin to melt.- I’m right here Angel. I won’t let you go.

Siobhan: *his voice was deep and as rich as his blood tasted against my tongue. It was all I could do not to moan from the sensations overwhelming my senses when our eyes met. It was like ages passed between us in a silent conversation before I watched his eyes closed and for the briefest moment I wondered if I had done something wrong, but then his eyes opened to look at me again and I felt the brush of his lips against my forehead in the gentlest of kisses. He kept calling me ‘Angel’ and I wondered why it was so erotic coming from him when my father had said it and I’d felt the endearment of parent to child. With this warrior who’s very presence filled the room I felt for the first time like I was truly a female who mattered and his scent was one I’d never forget*

Ghrimm: -The blush of her skin let me know she was on the mend. I just prayed my stitches did the job for her. We would see in a day or so how she was healing. Wait….was I really planning on being around to make sure she was healed? Maybe the lesser got a good hit on my skull. I felt her pull away from my wrist and missed the contact immediately. Reaching up, I grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the lounge and covered her.- You rest now Angel. I will be here when you wake. -I couldn’t take the chance that the lessers would come back to finish the job they started at the club. I stretched out on the floor next to her and stared up at the plain white ceiling. My thoughts running a mile a minute to catch up with my melting frozen heart. How could I feel something for another when I still was mourning my shellan and young?-

Siobhan: *slowly I licked my lips after sealing over the wound on his wrist. I didn’t even know his name, but just the fact he was here and staying had my heart beating a little faster* What should we do about my father? Is there somewhere we should take him? *I was babbling like a child but I knew my father’s soul was in the Fade with his precious #Iris. I tried to push myself up, but I was still too weak to move so I fell back against the settee cushions. My head rolled towards the male as he lay stretched out on the floor beside me and I felt the curious flutter in the pit of my stomach so much in fact I slid my hand over my lower abdominal region. I didn’t know what I was feeling or why, but I knew this male meant something to me more than just an unknown hero*

Ghrimm: -Turning my gaze towards the female, I took in her slender form and watched as she slid her hand down her stomach. Wasn’t that a kick to the ol’ groin. I had to mentally scream at my dick to stay down. What was she doing to me? Clearing my throat, I sat up and turned to her, taking her hand in mine.- Do you have the proper items to perform a Fade ceremony? If not, we can get them after you rest. I am so sorry I was not able to save him.

Siobhan:: *when he took my hand I swear the world stopped spinning on its axis and froze us in that exact moment before I felt the pounding of my heartbeat roaring in my ears. Why was I reacting this way and just what had he asked me? I couldn’t think straight so I blinked slowly a couple of times to try to sort through the info in my mind before I formed any type of sentence* I believe we have everything in the hall closet. We got enough for each of us after mahmen passed unto the Fade. *I chewed my bottom lip thinking how happy #Iris must be to have her beloved #James by her side again* He went as he would have wanted and that was fighting beside a warrior such as you to defend what he loved. *my eyes searched his and felt like I was falling into their depths while shifting to get a little closer to breathe in his rich scent a little more*

Ghrimm: Your father would be very proud of you for how you handled yourself. He was a brave male and obviously loved you very much. -Methodically I rub my thumb over the back of her hand, giving her some comfort I hoped.- I will prepare everything and when you are ready we can perform the ceremony. Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Shall I carry you to your room? -It seemed as if all I wanted to do was take care of this female I had only just met. I didn’t even know her name but she stirred the part of me that has been buried for a long time. The part of me that wanted to protect and feed her. Quietly in the back of my mind I heard the whisper of “Mine”-

Siobhan: : *I looked into his eyes feeling the gentle caress of his thumb on my hand calm my nerves but my heartbeat took on the steady rhythm of his. I couldn’t figure out the reason why this stranger was making me feel so calm like some missing piece I didn’t even know wasn’t there was filled to the brim* He and mahmen raised me to be the person I am. They taught me to stand up for what I believe and that no matter what be true to myself. *I wasn’t going to go into the fact they adopted me or that I was clueless as to who my birth parents truly were. “Not to a stranger”, I thought.. But I felt that with this unnamed male I could* I want to do the ceremony then we shall see about food for us both. *I looked at his eyes and became mesmerized so when I spoke next it was barely a whisper* What is your name, warrior?

Ghrimm: -As I looked deeper in those toffee colored eyes I felt myself losing control. She was beautiful, even banged up and bruised. Her golden tresses looked like spun silk framing her heart shaped face. She was the complete opposite of Phebe and it made me crave her more. Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, I gave a sad smile.- I’m sorry to say, but my name is Ghrimm. Are you sure you are up to do this? You haven’t healed enough yet. I don’t want you to hurt yourself any further.

Siobhan: Ghrimm. *I spoke his name softly almost reverently. His name was as powerful as the man himself was* I’ll be safe and I wish to not delay for too long. You can understand. *the pads of my fingers trace up over his bicep while he tucks an unruly strand of my hair behind my ear. Just his minute touch sent an electric current running the length of my body and lodged itself in my most feminine of places. I wondered if he had some special gift or talent that gave him this power over me as I met his storm filled gray eyes with my toffee colored hues knowing he had to sense how my heart picked up its pace with every touch making me lean a little closer*

Ghrimm: -I caught her arousal and tried not to growl at the sweet scent beckoning me to claim her. Even if I wanted to, now was not the time and especially with her deceased father in the room. Instead I cleared my throat and stood up, noticing that I was covered in blood and black goo. Not exactly how I wanted to meet a female. If I wanted to that is.- You said the supplies are in the hall closet? Why don’t I get them, give you some time to prepare and say your goodbyes, Angel. -I didn’t wait for an answer but followed the layout of the house and found the bathroom first to clean up at least as much as I could.-

Siobhan: *when he rose to stand I couldn’t help but to admire just how well he wore the leathers and shirt he had on. I was so caught in his spell that I nearly missed what he said as he exited the living area* Oh my. *I was running my fingers through my disheveled hair and got a glimpse down at my clothes. Not only were they torn but there was blood and black goo all over them* I just can’t not like this. *I looked over at my papa’s body and let out a sorrow filled sigh. I’d never hear his laugh again at least not until I passed unto the Fade. That thought made my heart sink as we’d spend hours just talking about seemingly nothing at all. “That bastard took that from us”, my mental voice hissed out the words with such venom I was taken aback that I could hold that much animosity for an individual, but the Lesser wasn’t an individual. He was instead a monster who needed his head ripped from his body. I shut my eyes as the mental image took shape and pushed myself off the settee. I needed to ground myself, clear the bad energy from my mind for the ceremony. I didn’t want to take any chances with my papa’s soul not gaining full entry and being ultimately at peace* This I do for you papa. What happens later will be for me. *my head turns towards the mantle where a framed portrait of my parents is hanging. I say a silent prayer as I slowly put one foot in front of the other making my way to my papa and knelt down. Each breath and step making small hisses of pain part my lips, but I would and could do this. I /had/ to*

Ghrimm: -I quickly washed the remnants of the fight off my skin and dried off with a towel hanging on the rack. Looking in the mirror I almost didn’t recognize myself. There was a light in my eyes and a flush to my rough skin that I tried to convince myself was from the rubbing of the towel and not the thoughts of the female out in the other room. Coming out, I find the closet and gather the supplies, noting there was enough for two people. My heart broke at that, remembering not so long ago when I was preparing Phebe and Cahal for their ceremony. My eyes glazed over and I wiped away a drop of water from my cheek. I made my way back to the living room, my breath caught in my lungs listening to the female talk to her dead father. I know all too well the pain she is feeling right now. It’s as if the bandaid is ripped fresh off my wounded heart, making it bleed again. Whispering so I do not frighten her I kneel next to her small form and wrap a supportive arm around her waist.- It’s time Angel. If you are ready for this.

Siobhan: *I didn’t jump, but rather I leaned against his side when his arm wrapped around my waist. His warmth and closeness was what I needed in the moment. Quite possibly more than I even imagined as tears fell down my face from my prayers. This here and now pained me in a way that I gripped the front of his shirt in my right hand while burying my face against his shoulder. I didn’t know if this was correct, but I let out my pain and anger via my tears. I cried so hard that my entire body trembled with it until I started hiccuping while trying to catch my breath* I.. I’m sorry. *raising my head I furiously wipe at the tears on my face and meet the gray eyes that seemed to steady my soul* I’m ready now, Ghrimm. *I laid my right hand over his after relinquishing my hold on his shirt and nodded my head slowly*

Ghrimm: -Scribe this was killing me. To see this tiny female shatter in my arms was quite possibly one of the hardest things I have witnessed in all my years. As she sobbed against my chest I simply held her rubbing her back and letting her have her chance to grieve. Yet just as I thought she was going to drown in her tears, she looked up at me with determination in her eyes. That right there is why females are the stronger sex. In a matter of moments they can go from being shredded to pieces to solid as a rock. I simply nodded when she said she was ready and handed her the items.- Just tell me what you want me to do Angel. I’m here for you.

Siobhan: Just don’t leave. Please. *I tried to not let my voice quiver as I looked over at him. Internally I was a wreck. I could feel the tears building as I set out everything I needed to. I was moving slowly, but who wouldn’t given I was healing from a physical wound not to mention the emotional one I felt. Picking up the white robe I struggle to put it on but keep focused on mental clarity. I move to the silver bowl picking up the dagger and scored my wrist. I bled into a large silver bowl then poured a pitcher of water into the mix. I said my prayers to the Scribe as I carried the ornate bowl over towards his body and felt the well of emotions before I screamed out his name,#James. I wanted the deity to hear my papa’s name and grant him passage into the Fade where he belonged. I turn and nod to Ghrimm that it is time then watch as he picks my papa’s body up and follows me out the side door. My papa and I had built the funeral pyre for when mahmen had passed and it was being put to use again this night. I looked up into the night sky filled with stars and felt the tears well as I poured my watered down blood from the bowl onto the pyre before Ghrimm lit it. Both of us stepped back and watched as the fire took hold sending the ashes scattering to the wind along with my cry of grief*

Ghrimm: -I assisted how I could, carrying the male, #James, out to the pyre and lighting it when the time was right. Once the fire caught, I stood next to the female and wrapped my arms around her. I wasn’t sure if it was to keep her from bolting to the fire or for comfort but I relaxed a little when she leaned into my embrace. She truly was a strong female of worth. How anyone could do this after witnessing the death of a loved one, let alone while being injured was beyond me. I sent my prayers to the Scribe Virgin that this brave male would be granted passage into the Fade and be reunited with his shellan. The fire began to die down and the wind picked up a little, spreading the ashes over the land. I could feel her start to go lax in my arms and knew she needed to rest. Gently, I picked her up, bridal style in my arms and carried her back in the house, making sure to will the locks closed on the doors. Making my way down the hall and into the room I assumed was hers, I laid her down on her bed, pulling the blanket up over her. I softly placed a feather of a kiss on her forehead and stretched out on the floor,making sure my daggers were close in case those assholes found their way here. I wanted to make sure she was safe and healing. The last thought before I let myself catch some sleep was this female truly was an angel.-

[madness-rains]

Embry

<< After the first time I phased,  things between my mother and me changed. I was no longer good old dependable Embry…the one she could always count on to come home before curfew and be accountable for each action. It’s not like that anymore. Not that I’ve turned into someone she should be ashamed of but I’m now something my mother can’t understand.

I have no answer I can tell her for the times I’ve skipped school or when she’s come into my room and I’m not there when I should be. She’s tried to punish me but when duty calls I up and leaves anyway. I don’t have a problem with what I am. My issue is not being able to tell my mother about it. There is another issue as well. If I’m a shifter then that means someone from La Push is my father. It’s a topic I’ve seen floating around in everyone’s head but no one voices it out loud. I could grow a pair and flat out ask #Tiffany who my father is but I have a feeling it would either get me a slap in the face or her crying over the fact I grew up without the knowledge of who my father is. Not that it matters, it’s best I don’t know because the only emotion I could feel for a man who couldn’t own up to what he did with my mother is hate. I’m not normally that sort of guy but it’s an emotion bubbling right below the surface when it comes to thinking about the man who fathered me.  When I was younger, I went through a period of believing he would show up on our doorstep to declare he loved my mom and me as well. We’d get to be a family and I could walk around La Push showing off my dad proudly.

It’s a dream that never came true for me. So for the sake of everyone here in La Push, it would be best for it to remain a secret that my mother and unknown father should carry to their graves.  Shaking my head, I know I need to try to clear my thoughts before it’s time for me to do patrols. Supposedly, I am grounded again but in a few all I will have to do is climb out the window and hope she does not peek her head in to check on me. >>