madeofmydreams

[madeofmydreams]

Have you been reading the brand new series The Importance of Being Draco Malfoy by @upon-poppyhills ? YOU HAVEN'T?! Well "Salazar's twitchy ferret" you NEED TO!!! it's by far the most hilarious fic I've read in a while!

this a scene from the second installment of the series The Importance of Charming Draco Malfoy.

[madeofmydreams]

how does pinterest see you? search up:

~fashion

~pantone

~mood

~food

and put the first picture that shows up

mine:

tag ur moots!!!!

@batschistcrazy @julia-bonkers @girlbossblog444 @greengirllover @turnerside @ohmanareyoucereal69 +anyone who wants to join<333

[madeofmydreams]

[madeofmydreams]

adhd gothic

you want to watch a movie. you put it on. two hours have passed. you haven’t watched the movie. there are five new tasks in front of you. you want to watch a different movie.

there is an object in your hand. it is extremely important you don’t lose it. you look down. there is nothing in your hand.

you don’t know your friend’s name. you’ve been friends for months. they just told you their name. you do not know their name.

your friend doesn’t laugh at your joke. why didn’t they laugh? do they hate you? they assure you otherwise. you know they are lying. did they ever like you?

someone asks you what you just said. did you say something? you said so many things. you said nothing. you said everything.

there is something you’re forgetting. you check. you check again. there is nothing you’re forgetting. there is something you’re forgetting.

you had something to say. you can’t remember. it was important. wasn’t it? you can’t remember. 

there is a task that needs to be done. it should take ten minutes. you check the clock. it’s been five minutes. you check the clock. it’s been two days.

[madeofmydreams]

[madeofmydreams]

So apparently the pro-Tetris scene is exploding right now because a 13 year old nerd just reached the game's true killscreen for the first time ever

[madeofmydreams]

addendums: cult classic tv overlaps with early supernatural seasons somewhat, i am aware, just choose based on the cultural context in which you read your first fic.

for weeaboo crew i was thinking of examples like hetalia, black butler, soul eater, etc--popular anime absolutely included but the distinction is that people who were into dragon ball weren't necessarily going to anime club every week and making deviantart stamps about yaoi, but people into ouran high school host club ABSOLUTELY were.

homestuck is in its own category because homestuck changed fandom forever at a critical time which just happened to be when i was growing up in fandom. harry potter, lotr, star wars, and twilight are in their own categories because they were such multimedia juggernauts they had entire archives dedicated solely and only to their fic that spanned multiple franchise reboots (books -> movies -> extended universes). (i acknowledge star trek technically would fit under this but at the time culturally it had more overlap with other cult classic tv fandoms.)

honorable mentions that didn't make it to the list because i had to pick-and-choose with the 12 answer limit: the final fantasy franchise (axed because i am not familiar enough with the fic scene to know if it was as iconic of a gateway drug as, like, naruto or twilight or star wars fic), a general YA lit category (YA lit outside of twilight only went mainstream slightly after this time period), the MCU (i have a hate boner for the MCU), a broader "american superhero comics" category (this would be valid as an option but i don't have the space)

[madeofmydreams]

Ao3 is actually massively culturally important and very very good at being what it is. I’m so serious when I say that ao3 needs to be protected as the anti censorship, by fans for fans, nonprofit, volunteer run, expertly designed archival site that it is. You don’t have to read or like fanfiction to understand that on principle, ao3 is a site that should be defended.

[madeofmydreams]

thinking about that fandom friend who messaged me once asking if I'd be willing to write for their OTP because there were so few works out there for it, but they liked my writing style

thinking about that ship and how I really ended up enjoying it, even though it was never my main, and how that ship went from just a handful of fics on AO3 to now having over 650 (there's still more than 350 with otp:true!)

back when they messaged me, I think there were 30 fics in the tag but they messaged other multishipper authors and they created a little community and while that ship will never be a massive juggernaut, it's certainly not a rarepair anymore

amazing things are possible if you're friendly and enthusiastic and you reach out to people who are friendly and willing to help out

[madeofmydreams]

I disagree.

This take engages fan content in bad faith and has "not like other girls" energy.

It's ridiculous to think that all fandoms have become some kind of muddy gray color just because you can point to tropes like "there was only one bed!" Or "all these characters now; live on a ranch, work in a coffee shop, are in college together, have to survive a zombie apocalypse, live in Jane Austin's England."

Specifically from my experience with different fandoms they each have something different to offer.

TeenWolf has so so many references to scent. What it's like being normal among the extraordinary. Living with ADHD.

Star Trek has mind melds. Moral questions about the value of life. What it is to be trapped in your parent's shadow.

FMA has more than an average amount "how to deal with guilt, ptsd, and parentification from 7 or 8 years old."

GO has what it is to fall in love over thousands of years. The ability to miracle some things and not others. Discussions of right/wrong vs lawful/illegal.

911 has sooooo much found family.

Sherlock has explorations of neurodivergency and what it is to finally put someone else first and have someone put you first... and red pants...

Anything well written should be able to be engaged with on multiple levels. If a children's book isn't also interesting for adults, it is not reaching its full potential. If a fanfic doesn't make sense without any knowledge of Canon, then it isn't a complete story. (Which doesn't make it bad necessarily, just not complete without knowledge of the source material.) 200 different sets of characters can meet and fall in love in coffee shops, and that's not any different than the 200 holiday romance films on the Hallmark Channel every December.

Complaining that fan fiction involves a lot of the same tropes is as silly as complaining that horror films use jumpscares.

All fiction, fan or otherwise, is in conversation with other literature and philosophical ideas. "Anne of Green Gables", "The Lord of the Rings", Anne McCaffrey's "Pern", even Cormac McCarthy's "The Road" are all part of an endless conversation between authors and culture and genre.

It's short-sighted to label it all generic and then pretend you're clever for thinking so. We're all following scripts written for us by our ancestors and adding our own flair. Just because you don't enjoy a particular thing doesn't mean nobody else should.

there are many complaints about how fandom tends to focus too much on shipping to the detriment of everything else, but frankly, i really don't think that's the real issue with it. not that the hyperfocus on it can't be grating at times, but i think what really bothers me is just 'fanon' in general. like, at this point i'm willing to say that fanon is its own entity and its not even unique to any work in specific. it's a one size fits all of generic, pre-made tropes that will be forced into each and every piece of media that gets even a bit of attention, even when these tropes and scenarios don't fit the personality of the characters or are in any way related to the original story they are supposedly drawing from. basically stripping everything that makes these works unique in any way just so they can be somehow twisted and shoved into yet another college coffee shop au. it's why you see people saying that they read fanfiction or engage with fandoms of works they haven't even consumed, which sounds bizarre at first (shouldn't you be a fan of something you make and/or consume fan works of?) but makes sense once you realize that yeah, once anything gets hit with the the fanonfication beam, it really does not make a difference whether or not you are even familiar with what this fanwork was even supposedly about, because they all become pretty much the same, like dolls reenacting the same little plots and following familiar scripts over and over again

[madeofmydreams]

one of my "special interests" in the past couple of years has been exploring fast fashion vs. slow fashion. it has been a long journey trying to find clothes that actually 1) fit me 2) look good 3) are made from material that is not actively shoving plastic in the ecosystem 4) involve ethical labor, fair trade, fairly compensated, etc

before i did this research, i really had no clue about fabrics or fashion brands. i used to think i had zero interest in fashion, in fact.

i grew up wearing walmart and thrift store clothes, and when i went to college i bought clothes from target and asos. something started to shift a little bit when i found vintage resellers on etsy and ebay... those clothes were so unique. but a lot of the vintage clothes were polyester blends, stiff, and would fall apart as easily as my asos clothes. i would leave them hanging in my closet and never wear them. i would wear the same old t shirts and jeggings every day. i felt like it was impossible to ever wear comfortable clothes, or ever feel good in clothes, so why bother?

it started with linen. linen is very comfortable and pretty sustainable. i was amazed that i didn't feel the urge to rip my clothes off when i wore linen. lightbulb number one.

a friend let me borrow a nooworks dress, and i went to the store and got some overalls. wow. overalls. lightbulb number two. holy shit, you can wear overalls. you know how people say "not binary or non-binary but a secret third thing." that's overalls.

i realized i loved the bonkers prints that nooworks had, and all of it was soft, and made ethically. it was a higher price point than i was used to, which gave me pause. but then you realize: we're not supposed to be buying dumb clothes every other weekend. and isn't a slightly higher price point for soft clothes that you won't want to tear off your body worth it?

so i started my research. i made a spreadsheet. the prices can be all over the place across brands, so i made a column for prices. sizes can be all over the place too -- people always ask me "where is the plus size slow fashion?" it's there. just look at the size column. people say "isn't it better to buy secondhand?" yeah, it is. i have many links to secondhand sources.

if you have any suggestions or additions please let me know, it is a living document.

[madeofmydreams]

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

[madeofmydreams]

[madeofmydreams]

the "i definitely do NOT have feelings for them in any way shape or form" while obviously crushing on them trope might be cliché to you. it's about being doomed from the start, the desperate denial of the starved self, the tragic inevitably of love to me tho

[madeofmydreams]

"she's not my daughter. jo's mother was my best friend. she saved me so many times and i wanted to do the same for her little girl"

In This Essay I Will.

[madeofmydreams]

Its okay they could call me on a rotary faster than i could explain to them I’m old enough to know what a rotary phone is

[madeofmydreams]

He added, after a pause: “Remember this, my friends: there are no such things as bad plants or bad men. There are only bad cultivators.”

Les Misérables, Volume I / Book V / Chapter III, trans. Hapgood