m4chus

[m4chus]

i am NOT LEAVING THE CHILDREN OUT OF THIS.

you have an unhealthy obsession with 'night shift' if you made it your banner...

LEAVE THE CHILDREN OUT OF THIS!!!

[m4chus]

"I guess she's not so bad..."

SINCE i'm never going to finish the comic... you all can have this art i made ages ago. AND I GET TO FINALLY USE IT AS MY BANNER LIKE I INTENDED.

[m4chus]

HAJEHAHHEEHEDHVRRBEGEH OH MY GID U LOVE HIM HEJEHAJAHAHAHAH THANK YOŪUUUUUUUUUUUUUY.

I noticed ur pfp. 😨 No shme. You have NO SHAME HEAHAHAHHAAHH

small evan for beloved oomf @m4chus

colour palette makes him look like a zombie but I roll w it :>

[m4chus]

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA blushing so hard rn.. ur so welcome pookie 😊

❤️‍🩹Miss Missing You by Fall out Boy/Vinvan❤️‍🩹

credit to everymanhybrid wikipedia

[m4chus]

what the fuck

[m4chus]

@kugelblitzzed i didnt know FOB X EMH could hurt me like this. i will never recover

❤️‍🩹Miss Missing You by Fall out Boy/Vinvan❤️‍🩹

credit to everymanhybrid wikipedia

[m4chus]

odio esto!

[m4chus]

Why. Why would you do this. (This is beautiful thisis avsolutely gorgeous art im in love)

strawpage kndz × alnst

[m4chus]

I saw your post about writing oneshots... Fyozai for sure.

Id really want to see how Fyodor would react to Dazai joke flirting?? feel free to go anywhere with that, honestly. so happy for a fyosiglai truther on here

Now, before an actual oneshot, I gotta say that I personally see Fyodor indulging in it and playing mind games back, but then again, I do think it would make sense for him to be annoyed, so I chose that because... well, I don't know, honestly.

Also: Fyosiglai my beloved!!

Slight Fyolai but it's just mentions of Nikolai fucking around and annoying Fyodor

And heads up/spoilers: I mention Fyodor's ability, to give Dazai space for that special charm he has

♖♘♗♔♕♗♘♖|♜♞♝♚♛♝♞♜

Peaceful day for a coffee of peace. Yet with the coffee, peace didn't come, nor did the receipt.

“There is no need to pay, sir. A young man from Table 7 paid for your coffee. Enjoy!”

One look to the left, and suddenly, the atmosphere changed from peaceful to anything but. Dazai was grinning right his way, with his cheek resting in his palm.

“I am fully capable of paying for my own coffee,” a simple and dismissive remark to let another know that this gesture wasn’t needed and most certainly wasn’t appreciated.

“Not saying you couldn’t, just wanted to wish you a happy birthday in some way,” answered the said another in some love-struck tone that Fyodor would bet would leave a sour taste in his mouth that even his black coffee couldn’t wash off.

Yeah, it was Fyodor’s birthday. But no, he didn’t need any celebration, especially not from the individual who rarely does anything without some higher motive, “Should have ordered a cake of some kind if you were feeling as generous as you are implying.” Should have left the moment I narrowed my eyebrows, but that will be left unsaid since I won’t be letting you know your presence can ruin my day.

“Oh, that I will leave to Nikolai,” Dazai shrugged, “I’m pretty sure he baked one, perhaps with some sort of a drug in it. I intended on giving you something he couldn’t.”

“I do not need anything from anyone. Birthdays are overrated either way.” Why that was, Fyodor won’t let Dazai know. Perhaps after his 50th, he’d understand how boring it is to celebrate every year. Or perhaps he’ll never understand why Fyodor wasn’t as impressed by his birthday. His ability doesn’t allow him to live more than necessary as Fyodor’s does, after all.

“Don’t want to know what I prepared for my little Demon? What I have to offer?” Dazai raised eyebrows higher with every word he spoke, eventually raising them enough to appear as if offended by Fyodor’s indifference.

“Indulge me. What would that be?” Fyodor sighed. Sure, if Dazai is so desperate to give him something Nikolai can’t, he’d love to see what exactly he is so proud of. Until now, both of them were giving him headaches every time he came in touch with them and both of them acted like fools around him.

In a span of two seconds, Dazai managed to pull a box out of his coat, reminding Fyodor of just how similar a headache Nikolai and he could both bring. However, when taking a quick look at the box, Fyodor noticed it was indeed something Nikolai would never pull out of his overcoat, and that was;

“Chess!”

Without wanting to seem impressed – because, yes, a good play of chess is a good birthday gift, and yes, Dazai is the only one who’s willing to play – he dismissed Dazai’s attempt once more, “I am not a fan of playing on foldable chess boards. They are too thin. And, by the size of the box, I can conclude that chess pieces are too small for my liking.”

Not caring for the single complaint Fyodor just gave, Dazai stood up and walked to his table, “Good thing I’m neither too thin nor too small.”

Gaze followed Dazai as he sat on the chair opposite to his, frown was still present from the moment he noticed Dazai, now was even more expressive, “Have you come here to play chess or fuck with my mind?”

Box was opened, the foldable chess board was put on the table, and gaze was lifted for just a second, a second that was enough for Dazai to flash him a grin and mouth, “Both. Perhaps even fuck with a dot at the end."

The moment Dazai put the black King on Fyodor’s part of the board, Fyodor opened his mouth to complain about not playing with white pieces, but Dazai was faster, “Since you, apparently, love to play with white pawns so much, I’d like to change it up a bit, make you play with dark ones. Out of principle.”

Some would call this phrase a racist joke, but both, Dazai and Fyodor, were aware that this was nothing more than a metaphor. Therefore, Fyodor didn’t want to back off and just continued with the nonsense Dazai had started, “Such humbling statement. A desperate attempt.” Putting yourself into the position of a pawn when you are a King yourself.

“Can’t a man flirt a bit? I’m tired of playing with myself when I could be your Queen on the same side. Of the bed, of course.”

Bottom. Fyodor wished to answer yet found himself shutting that thought up. There is no way in hell he would say such a thing out loud. But nonetheless, eyes narrowed, “You’re insufferable.”

Unfortunately, Dazai got him to indulge and play, yet made questionable moves. Those questionable moves that Fyodor raised eyebrows to lead them to the position they were currently in; pat. There was no way of either of them winning. Fyodor might be a good player, but with another who played just as well, that was an overstatement. They were equal, which would always result in neither of them being better than the other.

“I guess the only proper way out of this is for the both of us to simply give up,” Dazai sighed as if disappointed, despite his trying to get them to this exact point. To mark his words, he took his own King, broke the rules, and glided it to Fyodor’s. “Guess the only thing we have left is to kill ourselves,” he sighed, tipping Fyodor’s King to roll down the board, then dropped his own to do the same, “Together.”

“You have been playing towards pat for the last five minutes. Your excuse for this overly dramatic attempt at romance was not needed,” Fyodor dismissed Dazai’s said attempt, simply standing up and deciding to go about his day as he pleased, to spend another birthday being alone and in peace.

“Oh, c’mon,” a voice behind him whined, “Aren’t you tired? After years and decades, even centuries, you’re still willing to live?”

Fyodor’s whole body froze. Where the hell did Dazai pull that out and how the hell does he know about his ability that let him experience thousands of boring birthdays?

“You’re so boring, you know that?” Dazai yawned, seemingly unfazed by Fyodor being shocked like never before. He heard the chair pulling back, and, in the next moment, felt breath over his ear, “If you ever need your sweet pretty perfect ending, I’m always one call away. I'd make sure to make it as romantic as possible.” Such words were told so smoothly, so easily, and sounded so, so teasingly that Fyodor would have turned around and punched the punchable face of Dazai’s. And yet, out of shock, he stayed frozen in place until he felt breath leaving his ear.

♖♘♗♔♕♗♘♖|♜♞♝♚♛♝♞♜

And radom author note that isn't important: I don't know why the Devil chose this way of reaching out to me, but when I die, I'll complain about it; I broke up with my partner because of their "joke flirting" with others which they said they won't be shutting down. I still enjoyed writing this, thought!

[m4chus]

op do you know how Perfect and cool these designs look. im so happy you put to life like the exact image i had of them in my mind LMAO.

wow, i just realized that i can post on tumblr-

Anyhow here are my designs of Jekyll, Hyde, and utterson.

Even with a silly little poster thing :)

Don’t mind how uncool Jekyll and Hyde look i was going through crazy art block.

[m4chus]

^^^ I read that response... it was a whole mess.

I genuinely just think some people won't take time to read the actual novels 😭

guys guys this might sound crazy but maybe we don't name our Chuuya Nakahara lovechild ocs after the real life Chuuya Nakahara's son who died of tuberculosis at 20 months old. maybe we consider being respectful to a man who never fully recovered from his son's death and had a nervous breakdown because of it. I know the whole point of BSD is mixing real life authors and stories into an anime but i don't want to see the name of a dead toddler reused for your Soukoku lovechild OCS on my feed, or anywhere at all. that's extremely disrespectful and just plain insensitive in my opinion. the sufferings of someone who actually lived in real life did not happen in any way for you to used to make your OCS quirky or more connected to Chuuya Nakahara. <3

[m4chus]

A ramble/analysis about the significance of the bar in The Day I Picked Up Dazai

Ok, so I just reread the day I picked up Dazai, and read side b for the first time, and man do I have many, many thoughts, but one thing in particular struck me, and that is the bar. More specifically, the reason why they go in the first place and why it is significant. (spoilers for the day i picked up dazai side a, obviously)

The first time the bar is mentioned is when Odasaku and Dazai are having a discussion about death and why Dazai desires it. Oda says that "he is a fool for wanting to die" and that anyone is fool for dying before going to "that place." He doesn't specify what it is though, and Dazai thinks he's making it up at first. The way Odasaku speaks about it, it's as if it's some magic place, a place that only some can see the true value of. This intrigues Dazai, because one important thing about him is the fact that he's always searching. Always looking for something interesting, some reason to keep living, some proof that life isn't the boring place he believes it to be.

The second time this place is brought up is when Odasaku and Dazai are in the cell, and Oda is trying to convince Dazai that he should escape with him. He mentions that the place is nearby, and that they should escape and go. Now, Dazai is truly curious about it, and it works. He says, "how long has it been, I wonder? To have somewhere I want to go...I have a feeling that even if there is nothing at that place, it will be fine as it is." He's excited, and looking forward to the place that Odasaku has been, for lack of a better term, hyping up the entire light novel. Even if it may not be so interesting after all, like Oda said it might not be.

Still, when they arrive at the bar, Dazai acts a little disappointed at first. The place Oda took him to was really just a bar after all. Odasaku even admits that he lied, that where could he take him to that he wouldn't already know, and that he was merely teasing him. Dazai is taken aback at first, but in the end, he finds value in the place. They sit for ages, talking about everything and nothing, playing poker, and drinking. And despite being disappointed in the beginning, it ends up being enough for Dazai.

And now, for the actual point of this ted talk, the reason why this is so significant is because to me, the bar represents Dazai's search. He is always looking for something interesting to keep him alive, but the fact of the matter is, there is nothing. Oda says as much to him when he dies; nothing in this world is going to fill the void of loneliness inside of Dazai. But the fact that he took Dazai to something as simple as a bar, a place he said he was a fool for not going, the place that intrigued Dazai so much signifies that Dazai would only find something in a place as simple as a bar. That for all his searching, the answer might just be playing a game of cards and talking to a friend while having a few drinks. Dazai feels so far removed from human connection, but in truth, that is the one thing that could even attempt to fill the void, even if just a little. He will keep searching, keep looking for some external factor that may allow life to interest him, the thing that he would be foolish for dying before seeing, but the answer might just lie in spending the night in a simple bar with a friend.

[m4chus]

beast dazai they could never make me hate you, i love you.

to live it, or not at all [BEAST dazai]

[m4chus]

Omg i was going to add onto my point but this is like. Perfect LMAO.

Not only is using trauma from the actual author's lives just... weird, it's just not original. Make something up, that's what Asagiri did anyway.

Why do people not use the authors books?? The entire plotline/theme of BSD is.. the authors books. It is inspired by the novels. Fyodor Dostoevsky the author was a complete madman. You dont see that reflected in BSD Fyodor. Asagiri mentioned he was based off Ivan Karamazov, from the Karamazov Brothers. Not the actual author.

Naomi and Haruno are both characters that are taken from Tanizaki's novel, which also influences BSD Tanizaki's character.

Only a very little amount of the authors personal lives were used to create BSD, the forefront is the novels. It is extremely weird to use a human's trauma as direct inspiration. I say direct, because who would ever know (unless clarified) if you took some inspiration. 💀

People are just unoriginal now. Go read the authors' books. And thank you OP

guys guys this might sound crazy but maybe we don't name our Chuuya Nakahara lovechild ocs after the real life Chuuya Nakahara's son who died of tuberculosis at 20 months old. maybe we consider being respectful to a man who never fully recovered from his son's death and had a nervous breakdown because of it. I know the whole point of BSD is mixing real life authors and stories into an anime but i don't want to see the name of a dead toddler reused for your Soukoku lovechild OCS on my feed, or anywhere at all. that's extremely disrespectful and just plain insensitive in my opinion. the sufferings of someone who actually lived in real life did not happen in any way for you to used to make your OCS quirky or more connected to Chuuya Nakahara. <3

[m4chus]

just holy shit. reminds me of people censoring moris name LMFAO... I could talk for forever on mori being the most misunderstood character that isnt like majorly popular, but thats a seperate story.

this is just worse. This is bad. Its like a woman having a fucking baby and it dying 2 weeks later, and then her bestfriend taking her dead baby's name because its "already dead". Just. God 😭

guys guys this might sound crazy but maybe we don't name our Chuuya Nakahara lovechild ocs after the real life Chuuya Nakahara's son who died of tuberculosis at 20 months old. maybe we consider being respectful to a man who never fully recovered from his son's death and had a nervous breakdown because of it. I know the whole point of BSD is mixing real life authors and stories into an anime but i don't want to see the name of a dead toddler reused for your Soukoku lovechild OCS on my feed, or anywhere at all. that's extremely disrespectful and just plain insensitive in my opinion. the sufferings of someone who actually lived in real life did not happen in any way for you to used to make your OCS quirky or more connected to Chuuya Nakahara. <3

[m4chus]

suck dick idk im not in the fandom

Tim scribbles throughout the school day (teachers hate me)

ft my beloved @m4chus and his doodle in maths

+ catboy Tim from irl who doesn't have tumbleweed :(((

(we all think he's fit as fuck)

[m4chus]

His neck is so fucking long in mine i want to kill myself

Tim scribbles throughout the school day (teachers hate me)

ft my beloved @m4chus and his doodle in maths

+ catboy Tim from irl who doesn't have tumbleweed :(((

(we all think he's fit as fuck)